The roommates arrive in Greece and wander through the airport, looking for the baggage claim. Frankie isolates herself from the others, who look at each other and smile like, "Yep, there goes Frankie, creating drama again." Brad interviews that Frankie avoids the group, and that he doesn't know why, because they haven't done anything to her. The roommates collect their bags, including the one that belongs to Frankie. Apparently too busy pouting to collect her own bag, Frankie has to be called over and told that her bag has arrived. Frankie is acting really weird. No, more than usual. She's dazed. Maybe it's the long flight. Frankie interviews that travel is always stressful, but that she's so annoyed with her roommates right now that if they talk to her at all, she might go off. Cameran asks Frankie what's wrong, and Frankie huffs, "Nothing! Jeez!" Yeah, how dare Cameran express concern, especially when Frankie has a terminal illness? Cameran stretches and says that she won't let Frankie ruin her vacation. Cameran interviews that Frankie gets on her nerves, because whenever everyone else has fun, Frankie acts all upset. Frankie is Debbie Downer (tm trissh).
A postcard graphic informs us that the roommates are in Athens. They take a bus to their hotel. Brad and Randy are sharing a room, and when they walk in, they see that the beds are pushed together, so they make a joke about spooning. At least I think it was a joke. Frankie sits on the balcony outside her room, reading. And it's probably important to note that Frankie's room is right to Brad and Randy's room. Randy starts talking about how he thinks Frankie is sensitive and a good listener. Randy interviews that Frankie wants to be carefree, but that she's struggling with many issues. Oh, Randy. So naïve. Frankie doesn't want to be carefree, because then she wouldn't get to surround herself with drama! And many of her issues are self-created. Brad wonders why Frankie has to take her anger out on other people, and points out that she likes to "act like this is Frankie's world and nobody else is important." Because she's self-absorbed. Isn't that pretty much the definition? Randy points out that their window is open, and that anyone could be listening in on their conversation. Brad says that he doesn't care. Frankie interviews that she didn't even want to be in Greece, and that she doesn't think it's a good idea to confront the boys at the moment, because she'll come off as a bitch, and then no one will talk to her for the remainder of the trip. Keep that statement in mind later, when Frankie claims she doesn't care what the others think about her. Also, does Frankie understand that you can discuss issues without a huge confrontation and blowout? Wouldn't it have been a lot more mature to walk into the guys' room and talk it out right then? Ha! Look what I just said there. Silly recapper. Expecting Frankie to be mature.
The roommates take yet another bus to do some sightseeing. They spend a lot of time on buses in this episode. Thank God they didn't just pop up at the Acropolis, or we might have thought that they walked there. Or flew! Cameran squeals with excitement, as is her wont. They all take pictures. Frankie pouts and hangs out by herself. Robin interviews that Athens is "mind-blowing" and tomorrow they are going to Santorini.
And, now the roommates are in Santorini! Travel is so much more fun when you just magically pop from place to place and don't have to worry about smelly buses and cramped planes and such. Cameran interviews that Santorini looks like it's out of a book, because it's so unreal. They arrive at the Panorama Hotel. Cameran continues to babble on and on about how great it is, so Frankie walks out of the room. While I do think that Frankie overreacts to many situations, I can see how Cameran could get pretty tiresome. Cameran interviews that all the buildings on Santorini are white with blue doors and blue shutters, and that she finds it to be "the most precious place." Like it's her pet. The roommates head down to the beach, and then there's a shot of a donkey, and then there's a shot of Frankie looking pissed. Hee! Frankie interviews that she's feeling frustrated and irritated, and that she wishes that Dave could be there with her, because it's so romantic. I bet if Frankie pouts hard enough, Dave will magically show up! What? He won't? And she's totally ruining both her vacation and that of her roommates by acting like a child? Interesting.
The roommates go out drinking and dancing in an Irish Pub in Greece, which seems to violate some sort of international treaty. Cameran, Jamie, and a suddenly not-sullen Frankie dance on the bar. Cameran has whipped cream applied to her belly, and then Robin, Frankie, and Brad take turns licking it off her. That seems like it would be sticky, in a very bad spoiled-dairy-product kind of way. Cameran interviews with much laughter that her mother is going to kill her, and that she knows she was brought up better than that. Robin asks Cameran and Brad if they are going to make out. Cameran says no. Robin keeps ordering them to make out, which is a little creepy, and Brad moves in for a kiss. Cameran shoves him away. Brad interviews that he's worried that he and Cameran might miss out on an opportunity. An opportunity for love! I think I watched a Lifetime movie with that title once.
Back at the hotel, "Splash Waterfalls" by Ludacris plays on the soundtrack, so you know sex is about to happen. Brad picks Cameran up and tosses her into the hot tub. They start kissing. Brad seems to be trying to swallow Cameran's entire face. Robin interviews that while this was going on, she just wanted to go to bed, but that Cameran had the key to their room. I'm not entirely clear on why Robin couldn't just walk up and be like, "Could you guys stop making out for a minute and tell me where they key is?" But they're all pretty drunk, so logical behavior like that goes right out the window. Cameran interviews that she doesn't know why she keeps randomly kissing Brad, and that she's not going to do it again. Cameran tells Brad no and pushes him away, and then tells him that she won't kiss him anymore. Brad interviews that Cameran is confusing, but she's also funny.
Cameran gets out of the hot tub and asks Robin for the key to their room. Robin says strongly, "No, bitch. You have the key." Whoa. Cameran says she doesn't have it. Robin says that if she had it herself, she'd be in the room asleep right now. Brad laughs at the whole situation and walks away. Sometimes Brad is smart. Sometimes. Cameran is over the whole situation, and says that they can get another key in the morning. I'm not sure how they're going to get into their room tonight, but I'm sure it would just involve a call to the front desk. Robin interviews that if she lost the key, everyone would be mad at her, but since Cameran did it, it's okay. Robin calls Cameran a baby, and tells her to grow up. Frankie comes outside, because she knows the cameras will be all over this altercation, and she wants to make sure she's involved. Frankie is beaming! Beaming! She's so excited to get into it. Frankie interviews that this fight came from out of nowhere. Robin yells that she was arrested for Cameran, and that she'll probably go to jail for her. Cameran tries to walk away. Frankie is still happy about this whole thing. Robin yells as Cameran sobs in the bathroom. Brad comes back outside. Frankie explains that Robin is always taking the blame for Cameran's actions, and Robin agrees. Brad interviews that the drinking caused the drama. Brad asks what's wrong with Robin that she behaves this way, as Cameran stands in the background, listening. Frankie yells something, and Cameran yells that she's sick of it. Frankie starts screaming at Cameran to shut the fuck up, and Cameran turns and faces the wall like the end of the Blair Witch Project.
Frankie is suddenly all buddy-buddy with Cameran. I guess they made up during the commercial break. I used that time to grab another Diet Pepsi, but to each her own. Frankie pulls Cameran aside and lectures that many people say that it's Robin's fault that Cameran is experiencing things she's not used to. Do I have a dirty mind, or does that sound like Robin is forcing Cameran to do lesbian acts? And drugs? And eat burritos? Possibly all at the same time? Cameran wonders why the whole thing is such a huge deal all of a sudden, and Frankie melodramatically says that it is a huge deal, and has been for a long time. Cameran just wants to walk away, because the whole thing is ridiculous. Frankie yells that it's not ridiculous, because everyone is very upset. Cameran says that she's only crying because her alleged best friend, Robin, was talking shit about her. Cameran interviews that she feels betrayed, and she's questioning whether Robin is genuine. Frankie calls Cameran "sweetie" a bunch of times, which is one of my biggest pet peeves because it's so fucking condescending. Unless it's your mom, in which case I guess it's okay. Frankie interviews that Cameran is not seeing the full scope of the problem, and thinks that it's just about the keys. Yeah! It's about...Robin! Taking the blame! And Frankie! Getting involved! Frankie says that Robin isn't mad at Cameran. She's not? I think she is, based on the way she repeatedly called Cameran a bitch. Cameran says that she feels like she's going to puke.
Cameran stumbles into her room and Frankie helps her into bed. Frankie sits down and says that she's just trying to help. Brad walks in and says that there is no reason to make such a big deal out of a lost key. Brad interviews that he's fed up with Frankie, and that she's just fueling this argument. Frankie tells Brad to stop blowing things out of proportion. Hee! That sentence was so deliciously ironic that I'm going to type it again. Frankie tells Brad to stop blowing things out of proportion. Frankie insists that everything was fine until Brad walked in. Frankie interviews that she's irritated, and that Brad had better watch himself. Ooh! Look out for Big Bad Frankie! Brad interviews that she won't win this battle. Brad tells Frankie to go cuddle up with Robin. Good one! I can see why Brad is confident in his ability to win this fight. Frankie says that she's just trying to help, and Brad tells her that she's just "bringing up shit," and then sarcastically apologizes because he "didn't see the mediator in [her]." Frankie calls Brad a bitch and walks to the door. She pauses, makes sure the cameras are on her, and then calls out with a defiant toss of her head, "You're an asshole!" She slams the door, confident that her clever retort will make the season promo.
Cameran cries some more, and says that Robin was talking shit about her, and it hurts. Brad assures Cameran that Robin doesn't always have the best judgment, but that she definitely loves Cameran. Robin walks by the room and realizes Cameran is inside, so she comes in, sobbing. She crawls on top of Cameran and hugs her, and then apologizes. Cameran accepts the apology. Robin asks if she can sleep there, and they cuddle up under the blankets together. That lesbian theory I brought up earlier doesn't seem so crazy now, does it?
The morning, Brad and Randy discuss the events of the night. Brad thinks that Frankie instigated the whole thing. Randy says that he talked to Frankie about it, and that she explained why it wasn't her fault. I'm sure that she did. Brad says that he was there, and that he saw Frankie tell both girls that they were totally right, which only made things worse. Randy likens Frankie's actions to pulling the pin on a grenade. Randy says that Frankie hates Robin and Cameran, and yet was willing to help them. Brad asks Randy if he really believe that to be true. Frankie walks up to the door of her room and overhears some of the conversation -- at least enough to know that they're talking about her. Randy says that he wants to give Frankie the benefit of the doubt. Frankie interviews that she's frustrated that "they have these misinterpretations of who I am." Actually, I think Brad totally has her number, and she just doesn't want to admit it.
Randy asks Frankie if she wants to go with them to ride mopeds. Frankie says that she's not feeling up to it. Brad stands in the doorway and pretends he's really broken up about the fact that Frankie's not going, which I think was a totally insincere Fuck You gesture on Brad's part and I like it. Frankie interviews that she doesn't want to be around Brad and Randy. The three male roommates go out and get mopeds. Moped Montage! Brad totally thinks he's on a motorcycle, not realizing that mopeds aren't nearly as cool-looking. Well, I like mopeds better, but mostly because they remind me of Eddie Izzard. Two weeks. Two Izzard references. Do you think I have a problem? Anyway, suddenly Jacquese tries to swerve to avoid something and totally wipes out and goes sliding across the road on his side. Damn! That looked scary.
And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was NBC's two-night miniseries 10.5. I can only hope that you watched it too, because it was hilarious! As you can probably figure out from the title, the idea is that there's a giant earthquake that changes the geography of the west coast of the United States. Luckily, it doesn't affect Canada or Mexico at all! In the beginning, when they were introducing each character, the writers were very fond of the "make you think this is a regular person who will turn out to be very important" scheme. Like there were two guys playing basketball, and then a guy walks up and calls one of them "Mr. President"! He's the president! You thought it was just a guy playing basketball! And the other guy was the head of FEMA! And then there is a surgeon. But he's not just a surgeon. He's a cowboy. A maverick. He doesn't play by the rules. And he's the head of FEMA's son! And then there was a divorced dad (Bo Duke!) picking up his daughter while his ex-wife looks on. But she's no ordinary ex-wife. She's the governor of California! Genius. And then Kim Delaney played the earthquake expert with the wacky theory that no one believed, but of course she turned out to be totally right. And I kept hoping that as things got worse, she would go, "Man, I need a drink." No such luck. And, hey, if the entire west coast is in trouble due to massive earthquakes, is it a good idea to base your emergency earthquake tracking center, including the one person who can predict what will happen , in California? Shouldn't they be in an underground bunker somewhere? The special effects were really bad. The acting was cheesy. It would take me about fifty pages to go through all of the awesome parts, so I'll just leave you with this one: the head of FEMA, who was kind of an asshole, had a moment of clarity and decided to go into a hole and place a nuclear warhead closer to the fault line and save the world. Don't ask. But while he's in the hole, there's another earthquake and the nuclear warhead pins him in the hole. So he gets on the radio with the President, who gives him a giant pep talk, and at the last possible minute, the FEMA guy arms the warhead! Victory! But then there's a giant earthquake anyway and thousands of people die, but you don't actually see any destruction from this giant earthquake. Instead, you just see people running around in the desert while the camera shakes. And then the earth stops crumbling about two feet away from Kim Delaney. And none of the major characters (except FEMA guy) dies. If they ever replay it, or if it comes out on DVD, I can't recommend it highly enough. You will laugh and laugh. What? It wasn't supposed to be a comedy. Well, it was anyway. Which is awesome.
After the commercial break, Jacquese hops up and shows that he's okay. Whew! Now I can rewatch his wipeout ten more times without feeling guilty. They all crack up at the wacky hijinks. Brad interviews that they noticed that Jacquese scraped up his moped, and broke one of the turn signal lights, but that they can probably fix it. The boys pull into a gas station and Brad manages to rig everything up so that it will look whole, at least for the time it takes to return the mopeds and sprint out the door. The moped guy totally doesn't notice the damage. Randy interviews that now, this finally feels like a vacation. Yeah, it's not a vacation until you scam some poor Greek moped rental guy!
The roommates head to Mykonos. In order to get there, they apparently have to sail a boat similar to the one they sail in San Diego. Randy interviews that he's excited to sail a different kind of boat. Frankie lies face down with her hood over her head. I'm not sure if she was trying to avoid looking at a nearby boat, or if she's dead, or what. Frankie interviews that she's not trying to make everyone else have a bad time, but that she needs to work some things out in her own head before she can interact with others. Bleh. The female roommates get into a smaller boat and go swimming in a cave. Cameran and Robin squeal about how cold the water is, and Frankie pouts and looks annoyed some more.
At the hotel, Frankie calls her dad for some advice. I hope she called collect! Whatever happened to all those ads telling us to dial down the center and suchlike? Did they realize that only prisoners and college students make collect calls on a regular basis? Or have cell phones put those companies out of business? Anyway. Frankie explains that she's upset because people think she instigated the whole fight, and that she heard the boys talking about her. Frankie interviews that she's fed up with people talking behind her back. Frankie's dad suggests that she tell her roommates that they have hurt her feelings, and counsels her to do it before everyone is drunk. Sooo...8:00 AM? Although at that point they'd usually still be drunk from the night before. Frankie interviews that she has to learn to talk to people about her problems with them. Let's see how that goes, shall we?
Frankie walks into the room where her drunken roommates have congregated, having just returned from a night of drinking. She starts yelling and accusing them all of talking about her behind her back. Brad tells her to "be more descriptive." Brad interviews that Frankie's attitude sucks. Frankie says something about how she's just making a general comment, and not talking about any one incident. Randy asks, "When does general comments [sic] help?" Hee! Poor Randy. So confused. Jamie interviews that Frankie totally had the wrong timing. Frankie starts yelling some more, and Brad says that he knows that she overheard him talking to Randy in Athens, but that he stands by everything he said. Frankie just stands there, since Brad just totally shut her down. Yay!
Randy says that Frankie can't pretend she always comes to them when she has an issue, and yet she is asking that they do that with her. Frankie screams that she doesn't give a fuck if they know how she feels. I don't even know what this fight is about anymore. There's a lot more yelling. Cameran, Jamie, and Jacquese are sitting nearby, with their heads down, trying to stay out of it. They look totally beaten down, like this is what living with Frankie has done to them. Randy asks Frankie to tell him what she wants, but asks if they can have the conversation when he's sober. Frankie screeches, "You're always drunk!" Then Randy launches into this hilarious monologue, complete with flailing arms and legs: "Oh, I'm never sober. I drink twenty-four fucking hours a day. I drink every day. As soon as I wake up, I drink. You just can't find a sober minute to talk to Randy. [pause] Bullshit!" It was hilarious.
Everyone keeps yelling. Frankie interviews that Randy went from a heated argument to lashing out, so she thinks that she touched on something. Randy yells, promo-style, "That is bullshit, and that is primarily your problem!" Wow, I remember seeing that one in the preview for the entire season, and I was wondering when it was going to happen. Frankie tells Randy to shut the fuck up and runs out, slamming the door. She likes to swear and then slam the door, doesn't she? Randy complains to the others that he's been nothing but sensitive with Frankie, and that he's tried to "handle her with kitten gloves." Hee! "Kitten gloves." Randy adds, "Don't call me an alcoholic, because I will cry and then you're going to feel like an asshole!" Brad immediately says, "Don't cry, Rand," and Randy responds, "I won't cry!" I think you had to hear it, because they had perfect comic timing. And then they hug. Aw. Brad and Randy are this season's true love story.
Jacquese chases Frankie outside, because he's dumb. He tells Frankie that the whole thing is crazy and ridiculous, and she needs to just let it go. Frankie says that she was just calling people out on their behavior, and says that she doesn't care if the roommates think she's a bitch. Remember earlier in the episode when she said that she doesn't confront people because she doesn't want them to think she's a bitch? Why the turnaround?
The roommates finally head home. They have to take a giant boat to get there, and Frankie doesn't seem to have any problem with it. Frankie interviews that the fight isn't over, but that she's just putting on a happy face while she figures out her move. Oh, Lord.