Previously on The Real World: Steven told Trishelle he didn't know if they had a future together, and then said that he hoped Trishelle would start dating someone else. Trishelle said that she's never been the chaser in a relationship. Arissa broke up with Dario so that she could focus on herself. As opposed to the rest of this season, when she's been anything but self-centered and self-absorbed.
Arissa talks to Dario on the phone. He mumbles something about her thinking about something. I don't know. In an interview, Arissa says that she and Dario have broken up before, but that it usually only lasted two or three weeks. Arissa spins a scenario for Dario (hee!) about a trip to Cape Cod they could take. Apparently, they have taken that trip before, because Dario says that those nights were so great, and Arissa agrees that they used to have magic. And then they start singing "Summer Lovin'" from Grease. Not really, but that would have been funny. Really, Arissa says that Dario always said he wouldn't marry Arissa ever, and he argues that he just said he wouldn't marry her yet. Dario asks if Arissa would marry him now. In an interview, Arissa says that she always wanted to marry Dario.
Arissa tells Trishelle about Dario being all lovey-dovey. Of course he is! He wants you back! The true test is how he treats you when you're together. Trishelle points that out, and says that she thinks Arissa and Dario's relationship has run its course. Arissa says she really cares about Dario and loves him.
Irulan gets a phone call from her best friend, Dina, who is coming to visit. Aren't they moving out, like, tomorrow? Weird timing. Dina apparently goes to school with Dario, and has some gossip about him. It seems that some girl got knocked up, and Dario is the baby daddy. Irulan is shocked. Dina says that when the potential mommy told Dario that she had a bun in the oven, he stopped talking to her, and then later they were all out at a comedy club and Dario came in with Arissa on his arm, basically saying, "Arissa is my girlfriend and I don't care if you are knocked up." Or something. The whole conversation is difficult to follow. Irulan doesn't want to talk about it right now, and they hang up.
Irulan tells Alton everything out in the smokers' lounge. She explains that Dina is going to tell her the whole story when she gets to Vegas. In an interview, Irulan says that Alton counseled her not to say anything to Arissa. Dude, I'd tell her. Irulan says that Dina thinks Arissa already knows about the situation, so bringing it up might make her uncomfortable. Maybe, but Arissa doesn't really seem the type to keep something like that hidden. In an interview, Irulan says that when she was having problems with Alton, Arissa told her that ignorance is bliss. Irulan doesn't want to bring up something from the past that Arissa doesn't want "out there." I took "out there" to mean "on camera."
The roommates go out to a club. I can't believe I never made a macro for that phrase this season. Steven voice-overs that he knows Trishelle has a type, and that when he saw this guy Tyler, he knew that was it. In an interview, Trishelle says that Steven pointed Tyler out to her. Trishelle starts talking to him. Ew. He's ugly. He's got a caveman forehead. It's seriously gigantic. It's like a drive-in movie screen and then on it is projected the word "Ugly." In an interview, Steven says he just wants Trishelle to be happy. Brynn meets Tyler and says in an interview that he's really nice and "one of the cutest guys [she's] ever met." What? Oh, that's right. Brynn is crazy. Trishelle and Tyler hang out and hug and cuddle and flirt. He kisses her goodnight.
The day (?) Trishelle talks to her sister Buffy on the phone. Trishelle gushes over Tyler and how great he is and how in love they are. Buffy points out that they've only known each other for two days, but Trishelle says they both feel the same way. In an interview, Trishelle says that most people her age have been in love a few times, and that she wants to know what it feels like. Buffy advises Trishelle to slow down so she and Tyler can get to know each other. Trishelle thinks Buffy is being pessimistic, but Buffy insists that she's being realistic.
Irulan sprints through the casino to give Dina a giant hug. I'm most impressed that Irulan managed to do all of that without spilling the drink in her hand. Because God forbid she set it down first. Some people on the forums thought Dina was ugly, but I think she's cute. In an interview, Irulan says Dina is close with Dario and very close with the pregnant girl. Dina gets introduced to Arissa. Irulan mentions that Arissa recently broke up with Dario. Dina asks if Arissa is upset about it. Arissa says she is, but that it's also a relief. That is the point where Irulan should have pulled Dina aside and mentioned "Ixnay on the abybay alktay." Or she could skip the Pig Latin part. I don't know why I just wrote that in Pig Latin.
Roommates. Club. Again. Dina and Alton laugh at Irulan dancing. Later, Dina talks to Arissa about the whole Dario baby daddy situation. Irulan is sitting right there and totally not trying to prevent this whole thing from happening. Arissa appears to be listening calmly to the whole thing. In an interview, Arissa says that finding out the way she did was probably the worst thing that's ever happened to her. Worse than her shitty family that we heard so much about earlier this season? Arissa walks out. Dina tells Irulan that she thought Arissa already knew, and apologizes for spilling the beans. Irulan says she's going to make sure Arissa is okay.
Trishelle finds Steven in the shower and tells him that there's a party at the Hard Rock Casino, and asks if he'll go with her. In an interview, Steven says that his relationship with Trishelle is great right now. After the interview clip, they replay the clip we just saw. Oops! Trishelle admits that she's supposed to meet Tyler at the party, but says she's nervous that he won't show up, and then she would be hanging out by herself. So Steven's her backup. Cool. Steven and Trishelle walk out. Steven says he's discovered that the trick to having good hair is not washing it. Ew. With all of the product he uses in his hair, that is grody.
At the casino, Trishelle introduces Tyler to Frank and his friends. Wait. What is Tyler wearing? He's wearing plaid pants. Like, Ted Knight in Caddyshack plaid pants. In an interview, Steven says that Tyler is a model. What? This must be Opposite Day. In an interview, Trishelle says she wants someone who will treat her like a princess, which Steven won't.
Irulan goes on full drama alert now that Arissa has stomped out. Irulan asks someone to get Alton because it's "an emergency." Alton comes stumbling out of the men's room with a big smile on his face. Make of that what you will. Irulan tells Alton what happened with Dina and Arissa. Irulan is laughing the whole time. She's really enjoying Arissa's pain. Irulan says she thought Arissa might have known, too. Alton says that Arissa didn't know. Duh. Alton asks Dina what exactly she said. Irulan decides to answer. Dina points out that Arissa and Dario were on a break when the knocking-up part happened. Alton just shakes his head, and then they talk about it some more, and then finally Dina's like, "Maybe we should go find Arissa."
Arissa is back in the suite. She immediately calls Dario. In a confessional, Arissa says she feels sick, because it seems like everyone knew about this except her. Arissa tells Dario to be completely honest with her, and then asks if he got Dina's suitemate pregnant. Dario denies it. Arissa says she believes Dina. Dario keeps denying that he did it. Arissa says that when she gets home, she doesn't want to see Dario because he makes her sick and he's pathetic. Wow, she sounds just like her mother right now. Dario keeps insisting that it's not true. Arissa gets Dario to admit that he did have sex with the girl in question, and then says that she's had sex with someone since she's been in Vegas. Then Arissa hangs up on Dario. I think you shouldn't be allowed to talk to your partner for three hours after finding out something like that. The three-hour rule. Cooler heads would prevail.
Arissa goes around the suite ripping down all of the pictures of Dario. She goes out into the smokers' lounge and burns all of the pictures in an ashtray. I'm getting a little worried about the size of that fire. In a confessional, Arissa pretends she's talking to Dario and says a lot of bitter stuff about how she hopes he ends up alone and that she regrets all of the time they spent together. Arissa watches the giant bonfire blazing in the ashtray, and then lights her cigarette from the fire. I've tried that trick before and just ended up with singed eyebrows and/or bangs.
And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a television movie called The Cool and the Crazy, starring Alicia Silverstone and Jared "Jordan Catalano" Leto. It was set in the '50s, and I don't know what it is with TV movies being set in the '50s, but there you go. Alicia and Jordan play a high-school couple who get married right after graduation in a double ceremony with their best friends, and then they all get apartments near each other and get pregnant at the same time. So Alicia and her friend (played by Jennifer Blanc who was Kate, Bailey's girlfriend, on Party of Five) get bored with hanging out with their babies all the time, and Kate starts having an affair with a total greaser and hooks Alicia up with her boyfriend's friend, who is not just a greaser but also crazy like a shithouse rat. So they all sneak out all the time and have sex with their boyfriends and stuff and Alicia spends most of the time whining because she's just not a very good actress. And also I think the script was not quite finished when they started filming, so every scene begins and ends with improvised business and Alicia and Kate couldn't quite pull it off so every scene starts with them giggling and shoving each other and skipping and shit and then they deliver their lines and then they giggle some more. So Alicia's crazy greaser boyfriend starts making more and more demands on her and I'm not quite sure what she was doing with her baby while she was off getting naked on the beach with crazy greaser boyfriend but whatever. Jordan busts her with her boyfriend and leaves home. So then there's this whole subplot where Jordan hooks up with Mark Greene's ex-wife Jen, who is a beatnik. And Jordan starts hanging out at her apartment and then Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady come by (no, I'm not kidding) and do drugs and wave guns around. So Jordan gets scared because he's bourgeois at heart. And Alicia gets scared because of her crazy greaser boyfriend (oh, and did I mention that he's also married?) and breaks up with him and gets back together with Jordan. So one night, crazy greaser boyfriend kidnaps Alicia, and Jordan chases them down but the crazy greaser friends won't give her back, so Jordan goes to Jen Greene's place and gets Jack Kerouac's gun and then there's another car chase and then Jordan gets Alicia back. And then some drug dealers come and beat up crazy greaser boyfriend because he scammed them out of some money or something. And then Alicia and Jordan realize that they got married too young and decide to split up amicably. The end.
Trishelle tells Frank that she's in love with Tyler. Frank doesn't think you can fall in love that quickly. He thinks it's infatuation. Trishelle say she's just happy and doesn't want to think about it. Frank jokes that she thinks falling in love is really easy. Trishelle says she'll probably get her heart broken.
Trishelle tells Irulan that she's going to hang out with Tyler again. Irulan asks about Tyler and Trishelle says that he is "A. Ma. Zing." Irulan asks how Steven feels about the whole thing. Trishelle says she thinks Steven is jealous, although he wants her to be happy. In an interview, Trishelle says she doesn't think she should hook up with Steven anymore, both because of Tyler and because they are going home soon.
Tyler and Trishelle kiss at a club somewhere. The day (?), they go to the suite and stretch out together on the couch to go to sleep. Trishelle tries the old "It's awfully bright in here; maybe we should go into my bed" bit. Tyler turns her down. Interesting. They fall asleep cuddled up on the couch. Some time later, they wake up. Tyler tells Trishelle to call him later. Trishelle makes him give her a kiss on the cheek. In an interview, Trishelle says that Tyler makes her laugh and smile and that she wants to know what it's like to be in love.
Trishelle sits on the floor and dries her hair. Steven flosses his teeth and insists that he's responsible for Trishelle's meeting Tyler. In an interview, Steven says he hopes Trishelle and Tyler have a future together. Trishelle insists that she would have hung out with Tyler anyway. Steven tries to get her to say that he knows best. Trishelle says she'll only say it if Tyler keeps calling her, which Steven thinks will happen. In a confessional, Trishelle says that she thinks she'll always be friends with Steven. Steven continues to try to get Trishelle to say he knows best. I really could have lived the rest of my life without seeing Steven flossing and then sucking the food particles out of his teeth.
Arissa tells Dina that she lied to Dario about having sex with someone else. Dina agrees that it was mean. In a confessional, Arissa says that when she feels like she's been wronged, she can be vindictive and evil, and that she wanted to hurt Dario. Arissa tells Dina that she feels bad. Dina advises her to tell the truth as soon as she can, and then Dario will know what it feels like to be lied to. Arissa agrees that that was why she did it. Dina apologizes, and Arissa says that she knows she gets destructive when she feels hurt. Dina says it's a bad habit and doesn't make things better. Arissa agrees that it makes things a million times worse. I'm totally distracted by Arissa's boobs because she's wearing a string bikini and lying on her back and they are sliding into her armpits. Which is what real boobs do, so I'm not making fun of her or anything. I just keep expecting to see nipple. In a confessional, Arissa says that getting angry is only hurtful.
Arissa calls Dario back. Instead of telling her to fuck off, he listens to her. She admits that she lied about having sex with someone. Dario says that he's to blame. In a confessional, Arissa says she thought she was over Dario and had found independence. Arissa tells Dario that he's her best friend in the world. Dario takes complete blame for it. Arissa says she's not going to talk to him until she gets home. They both say that they love each other. So is Dario admitting that he did get the girl pregnant? Did the girl have an abortion? Are Dario and Arissa getting back together? I hate fake closure.
Arissa tells Irulan that she's not going to get back together with Dario. Irulan says she thinks it's a possibility. In an interview, Arissa says she doesn't know what's going to happen in the future. Irulan thinks that Arissa should be on her own, and Arissa says that time will tell.
week: free at last. Free at least. Great God almighty, I am free at last.