Previously on The Real World: Trishelle told Frank that she had a crush on him. Frank got a girlfriend from home named Emily, despite his doubts over the realities of a long-distance relationship.
Frank tells Trishelle that he thinks Emily is perfect. In an interview, Frank says that Emily is his girlfriend, and he won't be with anyone else while they are together. Frank continues to tell Trishelle how great Emily is and how much he misses her. In an interview, Trishelle says that she's kind of jealous of Emily and wishes she had someone who loved her like that.
Frank calls Emily and tells her he saw Unfaithful and it made him realize how terrible it would feel to be cheated on. Emily says it's having your trust broken. In an interview, Frank talks about how intelligent Emily is. Frank reminds Emily that he has an interview for graduate school at U.S.C. In an interview, Frank explains that he's going to L.A. for the interview, and that Steven and Trishelle are tagging along. Frank tells Emily that he's already been rejected from U.C.L.A., so it's just a matter of time before U.S.C. rejects him too. You know, there's self-deprecating, and then there's fishing for compliments and ego-boosts, and I think Frank is guilty of the latter.
The roommates gather at Rain for a meeting. Grody Marc comes in and introduces the roommates to Aric, the marketing director for Stuff magazine. Apparently, he wasn't allowed to meet with the roommates until his name was sufficiently weird, so he changed it from Eric to Aric. They didn't want to make Irulan or Trishelle feel bad. Aric explains that the magazine has a section called "Power Room," which is "the most widely read section of the magazine." How do they know that? Did they do a survey and ask which section of the magazine people read first? Or most often? And did guys looking at the magazine, which generally contains pictures of scantily clad women, really say that they most often read the column about women? Of course, Aric is in marketing, so I'm guessing he just makes shit up. I know. I worked in marketing. ["While marketing is generally all about bullshit, magazines do focus-group their readers to find out which sections of their magazines are most and least interesting to readers." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, Aric introduces Dawn, who is a sexologist. That's another made-up word. It's not like Harvard has a Department of Sexology, where she got her Ph.D. Dawn explains that the section features a bunch of real women sitting around talking about sex and men and relationships. The roommates are going to find attractive young women who work at the Palms and ask them inappropriate sexual questions, and then scout locations for the photo shoot. Steven looks way too excited about this.
Trishelle and Steven go and bug women while they are working, trying to interview them. In an interview, Trishelle says she thinks this will be good for her résumé. Trishelle starts asking the sex questions, and the woman says she would sleep with Steven. Was that really on the survey? Trishelle and Steven interview various other women. This isn't really women sitting around talking about sex. This is women answering a survey. Steven seems to be using the survey to hit on women, but then again, I think Steven uses every situation to hit on women.
Frank calls his mom and orders her around a little bit; he then tells her that he's got to get ready to go to L.A. In an interview, Trishelle says that, due to the trip, she and Steven won't be able to interview anyone for the article on Friday. Trishelle is worried about this, so Steven asks Arissa, who is sleeping on the couch, if she'll do some interviews. Why isn't she sleeping in her room? Are Alton and Irulan in there? Are Gabe and Irulan in there? So many questions. Anyway, Arissa says she'll do it, and Steven passes that info on to Trishelle. Frank, Steven, and Trishelle leave. Trishelle whines that she doesn't think Arissa is going to do any interviews, and that she is going to sleep all day. I don't get why Trishelle couldn't have just done more interviews the day before if she's so worried about it. Or asked someone else to do the interviews earlier than two minutes before they walked out the door. The three roommates head to the airport.
Mere seconds later, they land at LAX. Frank, Steven, and Trishelle walk down Hollywood Boulevard or whatever that street is with all the stars on the sidewalk. Then they go to that stupid bar that is suddenly on every reality show with the mechanical bull and shit. I heard that Blair from Road Rules tends bar there. Trishelle rides the bull and it's very sexual. Especially when they replay it in slow motion. Then Frank rides it and he is the stiffest human being ever. It's like he's made out of concrete. So he gets bounced off very quickly. Frank voice-overs that the mechanical bull is "the testicle terminator."
Then, Frank, Trishelle, and Steven go to a club called Red Rock and Trishelle is all riding Frank's jock on the dance floor. In an interview, Steven says he told Frank that if he wanted to go for it with Trishelle, Steven wouldn't mind. Well, I'm glad Frank got permission from Trishelle's owner. They also play that song about, "Where'd she get her thighs from? She get it from her mama," which seems kind of insensitive since Trishelle's mom is dead and all. Frank says that when Trishelle is drunk, she's all over him.
Trishelle, Frank, and Steven arrive back at Frank's aunt's house, where they are staying. Frank's aunt must be loaded, because it's a pretty nice house, but it's either being remodeled or under construction because there's no furniture and lots of bare drywall. Trishelle slurs to Frank that they should change into swimsuits. Steven is practically passed out on the kitchen counter. Trishelle lies on a bed in her bikini and rubs herself provocatively as a saxophone blares in the background. In an interview, Frank says that any guy would think Trishelle was hot, and he's no exception. Frank comes in and helps her up. In an interview, Frank says he's tempting himself. Trishelle pulls Frank into the bathroom and rubs up against him. She walks out to the pool and gets in. Steven and Frank sit there and watch her. Frank tells Steven that he feels like he should be stepping up, and wonders if he's asexual. In an interview, Frank says he might feel bad because he didn't hook up with Trishelle on the first day, and then Trishelle was with Steven, and now she's putting the moves on him, so maybe he should just hook up with her to show that he can. Ah, yes. The conquest school of thought. Popular amongst the cavemen. Then he can drag her by her hair back to his lair and roast some meat on the fire. Frank says that he needs to get a move on because Trishelle is putting him to shame, and Steven makes a face like, "Oh, hell, yes." It creeps me out that Steven is so into Frank and Trishelle hooking up. I'm not saying he should be jealous or anything, but he seems a little too into it, like maybe it might turn into a threesome. Again.
You know that Levi's commercial with Carla from Once and Again and all the buffalo? Check out her elbows when they show her from the back. They freak me right the fuck out.
Steven and Trishelle sit on some steps and eat lunch. Frank walks up and tells them that he's going to drop them off at U.C.L.A. and then go to his interview, which he's sure he will bomb. So of course, then Steven and Trishelle have to spend twenty minutes reassuring him that he'll do fine. Ugh. Frank bothers me. In an interview, Steven says that Frank will do whatever he wants. Frank leaves, and Steven and Trishelle laugh at how nervous he is.
Steven and Trishelle go to Café Westwood so that Trishelle can check her email. Trishelle is worried because she got an email from the people at Stuff. In an interview, Trishelle says she doesn't think Arissa will do the interviews because she didn't seem interested in the job. So why doesn't Trishelle...I don't know, call Arissa and remind her to do it?
Arissa and Irulan head down to the casino to do the interviews. Irulan says that it's scary because it's for a real magazine. As opposed to those fake magazines that you find on newsstands nationwide. In an interview, Irulan says she's intimidated by the task. Arissa thinks that they can do it if they work together. In an interview, Arissa says that she knows they will do a great job. Arissa smokes and interviews some girl. Meanwhile, Brynn shows the photographers the view from the rooftop of the building. In an interview, Brynn says she's enjoying helping them find locations. Shouldn't Irulan be doing that, since she wants to be a photographer and all? The photographer likes the location and starts imagining different angles and effects.
Back in L.A., Steven and Trishelle get back to Frank's aunt's house. Frank tells them that he got accepted. He already found out? They just told him on the spot? That's weird. When I went to graduate school, I had the interview first. Actually, I didn't realize it was an interview, because I'm dumb. I went to talk to the dean to get more information about what kinds of degrees they offered and what kind of jobs you could get with said degrees, etc. And then afterwards, I realized that it had been an interview. I guess I did okay, because I got accepted, but I didn't find out until some time later, and by mail. I guess every school is different. Anyway, Frank is so excited about it that he has unbuttoned his shirt to, like, his navel. Trishelle and Steven congratulate him. In an interview, Trishelle says she's excited that Frank got accepted, and that she and Steven had faith in him. Steven rips on Frank for thinking he wouldn't get in. Trishelle says she wants to celebrate. Is there ever a time when Trishelle is like, "Eh, I don't really feel like getting drunk tonight and rubbing up against guys on the dance floor"? They pack up and head back to Vegas. In an interview, Frank says that L.A was beautiful and that they had a great time.
Frank calls Emily and tells her that he misses her. In an interview, Frank says he has a good time with Trishelle, but that he cares about Emily and he doesn't know what to do. Frank tells Emily that he got into graduate school. In an interview, Frank says he's excited about getting accepted, and that he's going to go celebrate.
The roommates go out to a club. Frank is wearing the same shirt he wore to his interview. I guess that's his lucky shirt. And by that, I mean that he hopes to get lucky with Trishelle when he wears it. In an interview, Trishelle says that she's attracted to Frank, but that he's just her friend during the day. The quote of the evening goes to Trishelle when she says, "Everyone's cuter with twelve cocktails in you." First of all, twelve? Maybe that was hyperbole. But I just think if you find that you are regularly having drunken hook-ups with guys you wouldn't find attractive during sober daylight hours, maybe you need to reevaluate your partying lifestyle.
Frank and Trishelle hug and talk in each other's ears. In an interview, Frank says that he needs to take some chances in life and have fun. They keep cutting between Frank and Trishelle, and a go-go dancer. At first I thought it was Arissa or someone dancing, but then I realized that they were just trying to make the Frank/Trishelle footage seem like it lasted longer than it actually did. Anyway, Frank kisses Trishelle. In a confessional, Trishelle says she's tried to kiss Frank before, but that it was weird when he kissed her. Trishelle tells Irulan what just happened. Irulan is shocked about it. In a confessional, Irulan says that the kiss was a long time coming. Frank comes back over and kisses Trishelle and says, "I will see you later." After he walks off, Irulan starts screeching. Trishelle puts her face in her hands like she can't believe what just happened, which seems like another way for Trishelle to avoid taking responsibility for these drunken hook-ups. Also, way to go Frank. The only roommates who, thus far, hadn't done something kind of vile just crashed and burned.
And now it's time for our weekly installment of "The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week." Once again, this week's selection was courtesy of the greatest channel ever, Lifetime Movie Network. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a movie called Wildflower starring a young Reese Witherspoon as a Southern tomboy who lives with her older brother and drunken father (played by a slovenly Beau Bridges). Reese's mom is dead and one day Reese is out looking for a flower to put on her dead mom's grave, which is conveniently located in their front yard, which is creepy as hell. She comes across a dilapidated shed, and inside is a slightly feral girl who keeps a possum as a pet. Awesome. This feral girl, Alice, is played by Patricia Arquette, who totally out-Nells Jodie Foster. Anyway, Reese befriends Alice, and brings her older brother around too. Together, they teach Alice how to talk and shit, and it turns out that Alice is deaf and epileptic, so her stepfather thinks she is possessed by the devil and keeps her locked in the shed. And of course the brother falls in love with Alice but their love is forbidden except one night when he comes upon her bathing in the river and they totally almost do it but then don't. And the stepfather nearly catches Reese and her brother locking Alice back into her shed one night and they all run away and then Alice has an epileptic seizure in a cornfield and the doctor comes and isn't at all concerned that Alice lives in a shed but tells Reese about hearing aids, which are expensive. So Reese hocks her dead mother's locket to get Alice a hearing aid. Then the brother is supposed to go to college but Drunken Beau doesn't think his son needs any more book learning, but then he relents and Alice is all sad. So the stepfather nearly kills Alice and her mother one night and then falls off the porch and injures himself and can't walk and Alice's mom says that Alice can go live with Drunken Beau and Reese, which gives Drunken Beau a Reason to Live so he cleans up. The awesome part was when Drunken Beau and Reese came to take Alice away and the stepfather totally shot Alice's pet possum with a shotgun from his bedroom window. And then Reese's grandma teaches Alice to read and write but the older brother is all citified so he ignores Alice's letters and when he comes home, he blows her off. Meanwhile, Alice's mom is totally still living with the abusive murderous stepfather but no one really cares about her. And then there's a big town dance so Reese writes letters to her brother about how Alice has a new dress and her bosoms show and all the boys are courting her so the brother gets all jealous and hitches a ride home. But before he arrives at the dance, Alice's mother is there watching from the outside because no one cares about her and then the stepfather has miraculously recovered and shows up to take Alice and her mom back home, and then No-Longer-Drunken Beau yells, "We's her family now!" Which was awesome. And then the brother shows up and dances with Alice and they make out. The end.
So who knows if Frank and Trishelle kissed any more because now it's a totally different day and Frank is telling Irulan that he's going to tell Emily what happened. In an interview, Frank says he's disappointed in himself for kissing Trishelle. Irulan advises Frank to "be honest four weeks or five weeks from now." Because that's worked out so well in Irulan's relationship with Gabe. Frank says he'll tell Emily the day, but then picks up the phone and dials. And hangs up. And stares at the phone. Then dials again. In an interview, Frank says he's reluctant to call Emily because he feels guilty. Frank finally calls and tells Emily that he was drunk and kissed Trishelle and he doesn't know how it makes Emily feel. She says it doesn't make her feel good. In an interview, Frank says he thought Emily would break up with him right away. Emily says that she's not happy about it, but it happened, and she would be more upset if Frank wanted to call things off. She says that she knows he feels horrible about it and she's glad he told her. She's taking this very well, no? In an interview, Frank says he doesn't deserve Emily.
Frank tells Trishelle that he told Emily, and that he feels like an asshole. In an interview, Trishelle says that Frank is being a little melodramatic, and that it was just a stupid kiss. Frank goes into his bedroom and lies on the bed, then walks out of the suite.
The Palms employees gather for the Stuff photo shoot. In a confessional, Trishelle says she's happy that she can know she had a part in this. Irulan watches the photographer, and then he shows her how to use the camera and she shoots some of the pictures. In an interview, Irulan says that it was exciting, and that her pictures will be in the magazine. ["Doubtful." -- Wing Chun] The shoot continues with various women. In an interview, Arissa says that they put in the most effort on this task, and she's proud of how they did it. Man, it's not like they did anything that difficult. They didn't write the article, even. Bitches. Trishelle voice-overs that this brought them back together as a group and a team. Yeah, and you know who worked really hard on this? Frank! Except not. He didn't do anything. Although I think he did more than Alton, who has not been in one frame of this episode. In an interview, Arissa says this proves they can do something when they work at it. The roommates gather for a group photo. Hey, there's Alton!
Frank mopes around the suite. In an interview, Frank says he thinks his kissing someone else might be a sign that he's not ready for a long-distance relationship. In a confessional, Frank says he would hurt Emily more by having her invest in the relationship only to break up in a few months. Frank sighs and heads for the phone. He calls Emily and asks what she's thinking about things now. In an interview, Frank says that he feels awkward on the phone with Emily now. Frank talks about how he's going to be moving to California, which would be hard on their relationship, and how he feels like their lives are moving in different directions, which sucks. He apologizes for everything that's happened and hangs up.
Frank mopes around the suite some more. His favorite method of moping seems to be lying face down on beds. Frank tells Steven and Irulan that he just broke up with Emily, and they are shocked. Irulan asks why, and Frank says he's not sure how it happened. In an interview, Steven says that long-distance relationships are really hard. I'm so sick of Steven and his relationship advice. Gee, thanks, Mr. Divorce. Frank says that Emily didn't want to invest her time if the relationship wasn't going to work. Steven asks if Frank's okay. Frank says he is. In an interview, Frank says that it makes him feel terrible to hurt Emily, but he thinks it's the right thing to do. Irulan gives Frank a hug. Frank says that the day sucks, and Irulan promises that the day will be better.