Thanks to MTV's refusal to start an episode at the specified time, I missed the first few minutes of the episode. But I think it's safe to say that, previously, Trishelle and Steven had a lot of sex, and the roommates sucked at their job.
When the recording starts, Trishelle and Brynn are in the bathroom discussing Steven's feelings. In an interview, Trishelle says that Steven might not want to admit that he has feelings for her, but she'll admit that she has feelings for him. Cut to Steven telling some woman about his ex-wife; he says that they'd probably still be together if they hadn't gotten married. In an interview, Steven says that he sees marriage as "a finale," and wishes he had just lived with his wife instead of marrying her.
The roommates all hang out in a bar and drink. Trishelle sits on Steven's lap and asks what he wants. He names a few drinks, and she keeps telling him, "Wrong answer." Finally he gets it and says, "I want you!" Then Trishelle giggles like that wasn't what she was trying to manipulate him into saying all along. In an interview, Steven says he was really drunk. Cut to Steven and Trishelle making out in the bar, like, get a room! Preferably one without cameras, if possible.
Steven and Trishelle snuggle in bed. I said, without cameras! Trishelle and Steven whisper to each other. In an interview, Trishelle says, "Steven tells me he loves me and my heart just drops." Funny, my stomach did the same thing. In bed, Steven and Trishelle start doing it. So I guess he wasn't that drunk.
At the gym, Steven tells Frank that he thinks he told Trishelle he loved her. Frank laughs and says, "That's the worst thing I've ever heard!" I'm going to assume he's referring to the situation it creates for them.
Trishelle and Arissa walk down the hall. Arissa says that a "drunk person speaks a sober mind." Trishelle doesn't believe that, but Arissa points out that you can say things when you're drunk that you can't say sober. That's true, but in my experience, a lot of people are also a lot more willing to say or do whatever they have to in order to get laid when they're drunk, because they have no shame. Ask my friend who got drunk and started showing off how she could do a split to impress a bunch of guys. Trishelle says that she asked Steven about it later, and he said he does love her, and then she asked him again later, and he said, "I love being with you." Clearly, he was starting to sober up by that last round. In an interview, Arissa says that Trishelle just wants to be loved, and that Trishelle and Steven are both looking for love.
Cut back to Steven saying that he has love for Trishelle, but that he also has love for Frank and Arissa. Frank adds that Steven has love for the sky. In an interview, Steven says that Trishelle is tricking him into dating. Yes, Trishelle has completely misrepresented her bottomless pit of need. Except for the part where every viewer of this show picked up on it in the first episode. In an interview, Trishelle says she might be wrong, but she thinks Steven might see something happening with them, so he's pulling away. Trishelle tells Arissa that Steven doesn't want to hurt his ex-wife's feelings. Steven says he feels like he's being pressured. Frank jokes that Steven isn't a bad person, in that case.
The roommates rehearse their dance routine. Alton rolls up late, and Jean yells at him. The roommates do some moves while holding a handkerchief or something. I don't know. In an interview, Frank says that he's in charge of technical aspects, which means that he can't dance. The roommates continue to rehearse. Irulan and Brynn are doing that stupid ski dance. Arissa screws up and laughs at herself. In an interview, Arissa say that she can "dance [her] ass off in a club," but can't get this down. Maybe because it's a routine, so you need to do a specific thing at a specific time? I don't think there's much correlation between being a good group dancer and a good solo dancer. Totally different skill set in a lot of ways.
Jean tells the roommates that they have two days to practice, and he hasn't told them who their client is. He hands each roommate a package with details on the performance. Irulan grabs the first package and screams. Jean explains that they'll be performing at a resort in Australia. In an interview, Arissa says she's never left the country. In an interview, Brynn says she can't believe she only has two days to pack. Jean explains that they are going to have fun, but that they also have to work while they're there. In an interview, Irulan says that while they do slack off a lot, when they have a deadline, things come together nicely. Has she been watching the same show that I have?
Trishelle talks to Frank in her bedroom. Frank says that he talks to Steven every day. Trishelle asks if they talk about her, and Frank admits that they do. Throughout, Trishelle is nervously stroking her hair to the point where it's making me anxious watching her. In an interview, Frank says that Trishelle talks to him about how she thinks that even though Steven says he doesn't have feelings for her, she thinks that he does. But here's my big question in all of this: Even if Steven does have hidden feelings for Trishelle, why would she want to be with him if he can't or won't admit it? I'd tell him to fuck right off unless he was willing to admit to his feelings for me. I know when I was younger (especially high school), I went though a lot of that whole "I think he really likes me but he's scared what his friends will say. But he's so nice to me when we're alone! It doesn't matter if he ignores me in public!" And then I turned eighteen and realized that was bullshit. Which is what Trishelle needs to do now. I have no idea how Steven really feels. I don't think Steven knows. Frank says he's a big fan of "open communications." Yeah, he openly wants to be the go-between. Trishelle tries to get Frank to confirm or deny that Steven said their relationship is just sex. Frank won't address it. In an interview, Trishelle talks about how great Steven is when they're alone. Ugh, this is painful to watch. Frank says he wishes Steven would tell Trishelle what he wants. Trishelle says she honestly thinks Steven has feelings for her. In an interview, Frank says he thinks Steven is doing the wrong thing by continuing to sleep with Trishelle knowing that she has feelings for him that he doesn't reciprocate. I kind of agree with Frank there. Although I also think that Trishelle should take control of the situation by cutting Steven off since she has now admitted that it's not just sex for her. Frank concludes that Trishelle is going to be hurt.
Steven and Trishelle are in bed. Steven tells her that he loves having sex with her, but that he doesn't want to date. Well, you can't say he hasn't been clear about what he wants. In an interview, Steven says that when he and Trishelle are in bed together, there's a romantic attachment. Yeah, I think we all know where they are attached. In an interview, Steven says he doesn't want a full-fledged relationship. Steven tells Trishelle he knows she doesn't want to hear this. Trishelle asks why Steven acted so different when he was drinking. Because he was drinking? Steven says he was shit-faced, and that he's a happy drunk. In an interview, Trishelle says that Steven needs to be honest with himself, because he says he loves her like he loves Frank, but she points out that he doesn't crawl in bed with Frank and proclaim his love. There are two problems with Trishelle's analogy: One, Steven probably would do that, and two, Frank would kick him out instead of just having sex with him. I think. Trishelle accuses Steven of fooling her, because she thought he really cared. Steven says he cares about her as a friend. In an interview, Steven says that his relationship with Trishelle isn't healthy because he doesn't reciprocate her feelings. Steven gives Trishelle the old "You could do so much better than me" speech. In an interview, Steven says that he's still not over his ex, and that while Trishelle is great, it's not the same. Steven tells Trishelle that, due to his divorce, he's "not in a place where [he] can date anybody." I would think you could date anybody in Las Vegas, of all places.
Steven calls his mother. He screams instead of talking, and he sounds like Richard Simmons all of a sudden. He tells his mother that they're going to Australia, and she asks what they're going to do there. He tries to joke about it, but then explains that they'll be putting on a show. His mother asks if he's "still sleeping with that girl." Steven says he's not. His mom asks if they are friends, and Steven says that Trishelle is having problems with it. His mom reminds him that you can be friends with a woman without having sex, and that's what your hand is for. I kind of wish Steven's mom was on the show instead of him. She's certainly less annoying and more entertaining. In an interview, Steven says his mom thinks he should stop "messing with girls in the house" and masturbate more. His mom asks if Steven still talks to his ex-wife. Steven says he does. His mom asks if they'll be getting back together. Steven says that no one is better than his ex-wife. In an interview, Steven says that ten years down the road, he and his ex-wife might get back together. I really do wish they'd go into why in the hell they divorced in the first place, because I'm still now sure how that happened. Steven tells his mom that he's realized no one compares to his ex, and his mom agrees that his ex taught him a lot.
Frank goes into Trishelle's bedroom with a roll of toilet paper. Oh, no! He's going to shit in there like he did in that frat house in college! Oh, he's actually bringing them because she's crying in bed. In an interview, Frank explains that Steven and Trishelle have stopped sleeping together, and things are awkward. Trishelle says she wants to fall in love and be with one person. Frank says that's what most people in the world want. Trishelle says she was a good girl in college. Frank says that no one in the house thinks she's a bad girl. Unfortunately, just about everyone outside the house does. I don't think Trishelle is a slut or a tramp. Not the brightest bulb in the lamp? Sure. Frank promises that he believes that she was a good girl in college. Trishelle says that she was bad their first month in the house with kissing boys and stuff. Frank tells her that she didn't do anything wrong, and she's upset because she likes a guy and it didn't work out. Trishelle continue to cry and snuggle with Frank, who promises that someday she'll find the perfect person. I was looking down typing that sentence and J-Dawg walked in and said, "What is she doing?" I looked up and realized that Trishelle is under the blankets, facing Frank, and it really looks like she's giving him a hummer. Which would be funny, but I don't think that's what was going on.
Seriously, they have used these same scenes of the cleaning crew about ten times already this season. Get some new filler footage! Arissa, Trishelle, and Steven are meeting with Jean for a rehearsal. They're wearing overalls, tank tops, and blue bandannas. What the? What are they supposed to be dressed as? Train engineers? Construction workers? Bell Biv Devoe? Irulan shows up and Jean bitches at her for being late and not being in costume. In an interview, Irulan says that Jean is frustrated because he was under the impression that they would have more time to practice. No, he's frustrated because you're all a bunch of slackers. Alton rolls up, also without a costume. Jean tells him that he's twenty-five minutes late. In an interview, Steven says that being late shows a lack of respect. Jean yells at them and says that it's unacceptable. He adds, "You're not on time, you don't take it seriously, and I don't have to do that." Then he threatens them with getting fired from the show. By "the show," does he mean the show that they put on in the nightclub, or The Real World? Jean says that in a regular job, they would have been fired a hundred times by now. Arissa apologizes, and Jean tells her that an apology doesn't work. He concludes, "I don't know what kind of work ethic you have, but this one sucks!" I like seeing the Real World roommates get bitched at as much as the gal, but Jean is such an elfin man that it's hard to take him seriously. I think the French accent isn't helping matters. The roommates move into position to rehearse. Trishelle shakes her handkerchief in the most sullen manner ever. They all look pissed. Arissa drops her handkerchief and voice-overs that hopefully the performance will go well, but she has her doubts.
Frank grabs his duffel bag and pretends like he's storming out, when he's really going down to get in the van to go to the airport. The other roommates wheel their duffel bags outside. Irulan is carrying her skis, like, how annoying would it be to have to take skis to Australia just for that stupid dance? In a confessional, Brynn says that if she doesn't make it back, she wants her family and friends to know she loves them. She is also wearing the ugliest white fake nail tips ever. The roommates board a bus to the airport and then their plane takes off. The suckiest part of going to Australia would be the flight, I think. Especially being stuck on a plane with the cast of The Real World.
By the magic of television, the roommates instantly arrive in Australia and go to the beach. Frank and Trishelle sit together, and then there's an empty seat, and then Steven. In an interview, Trishelle says that she loves Steven and wants to spend time with him in Australia, and with Frank as well, but it's "awkward and weird."
The roommates walk into their resort and rejoice over their accommodations, which frankly don't look that exciting. Then, they go on a wildlife tour to see koalas and kangaroos. Trishelle and Frank get to hold koalas, and then various roommates feed kangaroos. Whoo! Australia!
Frank and Trishelle talk out by the pool. Frank is clearly drunk and eating an apple. Trishelle asks for half of his apple, and then apparently throws it in the pool. Frank picks her up and threatens to throw her in the pool. In an interview, Frank says that Trishelle is one of the sweetest girls he's ever met. Frank hugs Trishelle by the pool.
Inside, Steven is entertaining some ladies. Meanwhile, Frank gives Trishelle a piggyback ride somewhere. In an interview, Trishelle says that Frank is funny and genuine and the type of guy she would date in college. Trishelle and Frank are suddenly in a club, dancing together. In an interview, Steven says that there's a sneaky side to Trishelle, because she's always got some guys on the back burner. Suddenly, Frank and Trishelle are on the beach wearing completely different clothing, and hugging. In an interview, Frank says that Trishelle told him that he's the sort of person she'd like to date, and that she has a crush on him. Frank hugs Trishelle and asks if she's okay. Trishelle says she is. In an interview, Frank says he'd be lying if he said he wasn't physically attracted to Trishelle.
The roommates go parasailing. In an interview, Frank says that if Trishelle had never done anything with Steven, he would hook up with her himself. Normally, I'd raise the "Frank has women issues" flag here, but would you want to have Steven's sloppy seconds? Especially knowing that Trishelle and Steven had lots of unprotected sex? I realize Frank was probably actually saying that due to his friendship with Steven, but even if he weren't, I'm behind him. Frank and Trishelle go up in the parasail contraption together. In an interview, Trishelle says she doesn't know if she and Steven will be friends again, because there is a lot of bitterness between them. Steven goes up in the parasail alone. Frank jokes that he wants Steven submerged and his family dead.
The roommates eat dinner together. Trishelle and Frank leave. In an interview, Frank says that Alton told Steven he saw Frank and Trishelle making out. Frank relays this information to Trishelle. Frank says his reaction was that it's just a lie. Trishelle asks if Steven believed Frank's denial. Frank says he did. In an interview, Trishelle says that Steven was unhappy about the news, and she wondered why Steven asked Frank about it in the first place.
The roommates prepare to do their dance routine at a club. They warm up backstage and then walk out. In an interview, Steven says that half of them were drunk before the performance, and when the music started Alton was too drunk to start dancing. The roommates do their routine and screw up and goof off the whole time. In an interview, Steven says that if Jean saw it, he would have his head down and be cursing in Bulgarian. He's Bulgarian? I totally thought he was French. There are, like, five people in the club and the roommates are performing on this tiny stage with no one around. In an interview, Trishelle says they don't care if people laugh at them because they are doing it together.
Steven tells Trishelle that she's being negative. In an interview, Steven explains that it makes him uncomfortable. Trishelle says that she's not trying to make him uncomfortable. In an interview, Trishelle says that she won't take all of the blame because Steven's behaving differently too. Steven says he knows things are through between them sexually. In an interview, Trishelle says that Steven said he loved her and didn't want there to be hard feelings between them. Steven says he hopes they are cool now, and they hug. In an interview, Steven says that he's glad they had the conversation and that there will be no more hooking up. Then he realizes that he's "a dumb-ass," so it could happen again. Snoooze.
week: Alton hooks up with various ladies in Australia, but tells Irulan that he loves her. Irulan cries about it and says she's going home.