Previously on The Real World: And we're back to the previously on scenes that were not, in fact, previously on. Arissa says that Trishelle is going to come home at 2 AM in eat everything that isn't nailed down. In an interview, Trishelle says that she doesn't care if the girls joke around because she has strange eating habits. Trishelle jokingly flips off Arissa (and seriously, that's the most personality we've seen out of Trishelle this season). Arissa says that Trishelle eats "mustard, with tuna on the side." The only thing that bugs me about this is that we've never heard one word about Trishelle's strange eating habits before. We've heard that she's insecure, and has daddy issues, and all of her myriad problems, but never the eating thing. Would it have killed them to throw in a mention of it somewhere along the line so that this development didn't just pop out of thin air? Machela (who is identified as the winner of the "Ghetto Fabulous Bikini Contest," and if I'd known that, I would have made a lot more fun of her last week) and Alton get it on in the tub. Irulan says that she thinks Alton is beautiful, but that his actions turn her off. Alton yells at Melissa, his ex-girlfriend, for lying to him about exactly how she cheated on him, and then he cries and cries. I only wish I were joking.
A homeless man sorts through some cans in front of a trashy motel. Did we somehow stumble onto the set of the video for "Another Day in Paradise"? Cut to the kids staying at the Palms. I think some snarky editor was trying to say, "Can you believe these kids complain so much when they get to stay for free in this beautiful hotel?" If so, rock on, snarky editor. Alton vows to Frank that he will never be "a crybaby over Melissa again." In an interview, Alton says that he doesn't want to get back at Melissa, and that he's going to move on. Frank, as usual, overemphasizes every third word in his sentences, which annoys me. He's like, "If anyone is justified in being emotional, it's that situation, all right?" Oh, and also, [sic]. In an interview, Frank says, "I think Alton is acting like a red-blooded human being and is hurt by it." Alton says that his mother taught him to treat women like princesses, and he always has. Maybe that's his problem. Maybe he should treat women like people. Alton says, "I don't want to have an emotional involvement with anything having to do with a girl because it would be overly emotional." Really? Well, I don't want to make too much fun of him for that sentence because it would be making fun. What? Exactly. In an interview, Alton says that he gets connected with women quickly. Alton admits to Frank that he is "very, very, very, very, very Irulan." So he thinks that he is Irulan? Is he even speaking English at this point? Did he take locution lessons from Big Brother 2's Monica? Because it is on. In an interview, Alton says that Irulan is his "ideal girl" and his "dream girl." Oh, except for the fact that she has a boyfriend. Also, I thought he wasn't going to treat women like princesses anymore, and here he is putting Irulan up on a pedestal already. Didn't courtly love go out in the fourteenth century or so?
Alton takes a shower while Brynn and Trishelle do their hair in the bathroom. Frank, Steven, and Irulan are all around the computer. Alton walks out of the shower completely naked, and the girls screech and scream. Alton acts like he doesn't know what the big deal is. Irulan peeks at him around the corner. In an interview, Irulan says, "I am three thousand miles away from my boyfriend. I am lonely. I am horny. I am used to sex on a regular basis, and his body is on point." I think they need to start putting saltpeter into the roommates' food. Of course, as we will find out in a bit, that wouldn't help Trishelle. But seriously. It's called masturbation, Irulan. Look into it. People who also might want to take that advice include Trishelle, Steven, Alton, Arissa, Brynn, and Frank. In fact, I kind of wish their job this season was at a sex shop, so they could all test out the merchandise. In a confessional, Trishelle says that Alton's penis "looked like a third leg." Then Alton slips her a fifty. Irulan wonders why Alton had to show her "his Jermaine." Well, that's a new one. What would she call his balls, Tito and Randy? Irulan and Arissa think that Alton is having "a personality flip-flop." In an interview, Steven sleazes that "Irulan was the most captivated by [Alton's] wood." Steven and Frank try to pretend they're not jealous as they giggle that the girls all complained that Alton was running around naked and then flocked over to him. The girls talk about Alton's "little brown pee-pee." "Pee-pee"? Then again, given the maturity level of these roommates, why am I surprised? Arissa says that it was hardly little, and Trishelle agrees. Arissa thinks that she is "too petite for that boy." Sex music plays as Alton rubs lotion onto his body. Cut to Irulan drying her hair. Cut to Alton walking around naked. Cut to Irulan looking shocked and surprised.
Irulan calls Gabe, her boyfriend. In an interview, Irulan says that she's been missing Gabe like crazy and feeling "insecure and nervous." Irulan tells Gabe that she needs to get a care package from him soon. Does it really count if you have to tell him to send it to you? Irulan whines that some of the other girls have been getting flowers and packages and that she feels like an orphan. Gabe asks what she wants from New York that he could send her. Irulan wants him to come up with an idea. Gabe says that she's the one who's missing New York. Instead of telling him that she's missing him more than they city, Irulan bitches, "I'll talk to you tomorrow," and hangs up. Couldn't she just tell him what she wants or needs instead of being all passive-aggressive about it? Yes, it would be nice if Gabe could anticipate her every need, but he's a human being. And she's high-maintenance. And they both suck.
Irulan tells Alton about her conversation with Gabe. She relates that Gabe told her that he cares about her more than two dozen roses could say. Irulan says that they've had this conversation before, and that she basically thinks that Gabe should be able to read her mind because of it. Look, if she doesn't think he can fulfill her needs, emotionally or whatever, she should either tell him what she wants, or break up with him if she has told him before and he still doesn't do it. But complaining about him behind his back (on national television) is kind of a dick move. In an interview, Irulan says that she needs Gabe to love and support her and not stress her out. Irulan tells Alton that Gabe's attitude is not helping, because they are so far away from each other, and she thinks that he wants her to "go out to the club and shake [her] fucking ass tonight." Oh, so when your boyfriend can't read your mind, you get revenge on him by flirting with other guys. Classy.
The roommates go out to a club. There are people on, like, trapezes or hanging from wires or something; they fly down, grab Irulan, and swing her through the air. After Irulan is finished, they come back for Trishelle, who complains that she has a skirt on. Apparently, saying no is not an op...wait, it's Trishelle. She doesn't know how to say no. So Trishelle goes flying through the air over the crowds with a skirt on. She makes an attempt to keep her legs crossed but you can still totally see her ass. When she gets down, Alton tells her that he saw her booty. Trishelle screeches and plays with her hair and does everything but rent out a billboard saying, "Tell me more about how you saw up my skirt which was totally by accident by the way." Steven asks Alton, "How hot is Trishelle's ass?" Trishelle listens closely to Alton's response, which is, "So hot." Then she tells Steven to shut up, but she really means, "Tell me more about my hot ass." In an interview, Trishelle says that when people tell her she's beautiful, she doesn't believe them, and when she looks in the mirror, she thinks she's fat. Steven tells Trishelle that her ass is so hot you could fry eggs on it, if it wasn't so damn small. Was that a compliment? I guess it was supposed to be.
Deep breath. Moving on. In an interview, Arissa says that she had a friend die due to an eating disorder, but that until she sees Trishelle throwing up or starving herself, she can't say anything to her. Trishelle finishes eating and drinks a big glass of water (which, I should point out, a lot of bulimics do after bingeing because it makes the throwing up easier). Then she heads into the bathroom and we hear the toilet flush. Did she puke? Who knows? Arissa tells Irulan that she doesn't want it to get to a point where Trishelle is "eating toothpaste and soap." Trishelle goes back to bed as dramatic music plays.
Brynn tells Arissa that she thinks Trishelle has an eating disorder. In an interview, Brynn says that Trishelle has told her that she's been bulimic before, and that Brynn has heard Trishelle throw up after eating. Brynn tells Arissa that she's not going to talk about it with any of the roommates, and that if Trishelle wants to talk about it, she can. So what is Brynn doing right now, exactly? Brynn doesn't want Arissa and Irulan to think she's mean for not getting involved, but she doesn't want to deal with it. In an interview, Brynn says she does care that Trishelle is puking, but that there's nothing she can do about it. Brynn says Trishelle knows that what she's doing is wrong, but that she'll do it either way. I have to say that I would at least say something to Trishelle like, "Look, I heard you throwing up the other day, and if you're making yourself do it, that's a problem. You're an adult and can make your own decisions, but if you want to talk about it, I'm here." And especially Irulan, who has personal experience, could talk about her own issues and how she got over it, and what it did to her. And then if Trishelle continues, they can wipe their hands of it. But to refuse to help because they doubt she will listen seems a bit callous, especially since it doesn't seem like Trishelle is so far gone that she needs like, a treatment center or something.
Irulan calls Gabe to tell him that she can't pick him up from the airport. Irulan voice-overs that she's really excited for Gabe to visit. Wait, so she knew he was coming to visit shortly and she was still bitching about how horny and lonely she was? That's messed up. In an interview, Irulan says that she's in a place where the people around her are "extremely free and sexual," and she thinks that Gabe might be overwhelmed. Or disgusted, more likely.
Alton asks Irulan if she feels better about being there. Irulan says she has six roommates, but that she's still alone. Irulan wonders why she left her good life to be in Las Vegas and feel lonely. In an interview, Irulan says that there has been an underlying attraction between her and Alton from the beginning. There has? So what was she doing with Marc and what was he doing with Machela? Irulan says that she's gotten a different impression about the way Alton treats women since the beginning. She adds that, in the beginning, she was attracted to him. In an interview, Alton says that he didn't expect Irulan to say that she was attracted to him, and that on the street, he wouldn't have a chance with her because she's "a classy, like, beautiful girl." She is? When? Alton admits that he had a crush on Irulan in the beginning. She says that he should have told her that. Alton says that he didn't know how she'd take it.
In their room that night, Irulan tells Arissa that Alton is "such a sweetie," and that she wonders if she could leave her boyfriend for him. Didn't she just get done saying that she lost respect for him when she found out how he treated women? I don't get it. Except that Irulan wants a bad boy, I guess. In an interview, Irulan says that she feels "very, very close to Alton," and that they have a mental and emotional connection. Which is why she suddenly got very interested in him after seeing his penis. In an interview, Arissa says she doesn't know why or how Irulan and Alton got together. Irulan says that she's always really happy with a guy, and then some other guy comes along. She adds that she has an open relationship with Gabe, and that she has "license to get down" (which I believe was an '80s movie starring Corey Feldman and Corey Haim) but she doesn't have "license to get emotionally attached." Irulan says that she's invested a lot of time and energy in her relationship with Gabe, and that she's afraid to throw that away on a whim.
The girls eat lunch together at a food court. Trishelle picks tiny pieces from her quesadilla and eats them. In contrast, Irulan takes huge bites out of her sandwich. Trishelle asks how long Gabe is staying, and Irulan says that it's for seven days. In an interview, Irulan says that Gabe is coming at the perfect time (for her to break up with him in person after getting laid one last time). Irulan and Arissa discuss whether Arissa should sleep in their room every night, and Irulan claims that while she will be "getting booty," she will not be "getting booty all night long." In an interview, Arissa says that certain things make her suspicious, like Trishelle barely eating at lunch and comparing what she ate with what Arissa ate, and getting up and going to the bathroom after she eats. Based on the half-empty glass of beer in front of Trishelle, I'd like to suggest that if she wants to lose weight (and I don't think she needs to), she might try cutting out the massive amounts of alcohol that she drinks on a nightly basis, instead of starving herself. Trishelle gets up and walks to the bathroom, and Arissa follows a few moments later. In an interview, Irulan says that she has a weird relationship with Trishelle, because she wants to help out, but she's "going through her own shit." In other words, "I am completely self-absorbed with my own self-created drama and I can't help Trishelle with hers." Gotcha.
Irulan tells Alton how Trishelle went to the bathroom right after eating. Irulan claims that no one else noticed, but if she's talking about the scene we just witnessed, Arissa certainly noticed. Irulan claims that since she had an eating disorder, she's very aware of these things. Frank walks in while they talk. Irulan says that she said she wished Trishelle wasn't going in the bathroom. She apparently couldn't say that to Trishelle, because her mouth was sewn shut, and she couldn't follow Trishelle in there because her legs are broken. Irulan says that Arissa followed Trishelle into the bathroom, and Irulan thinks that Arissa caught Trishelle throwing up. Alton is surprised. Irulan says that Trishelle has been doing it, and that she either starves herself, or binges and purges. Frank asks whom they are talking about, and Irulan tells him. Frank is shocked. In an interview, Frank says that he doesn't think Trishelle has an eating disorder, and that he's never noticed her throwing up or talking about her weight more than anyone else in the house. And I am not about gender stereotypes at all, but in this case I think it's true -- he wouldn't notice because he's a guy and he has no idea about all of the issues that many women have with food. And yes, some guys have eating disorders and yes, some guys are more aware of the issue, but on the whole, I think many men aren't aware of all the crap that goes on, because why would they be? They very rarely have the opportunity to live closely with women during the prime eating disorder ages of teens and early twenties. Irulan says that it's not that she doesn't want to support Trishelle, but she knows that none of them can say anything that will change things for Trishelle, because "it's a very shameful, private thing to go through." Okay, yes. But that doesn't mean that they couldn't still make Trishelle aware that they know, and that they want to help when she's ready for help. Would that be so hard to do? It might not help, but it can't hurt.
Arissa and Trishelle sit on a bench on the sidewalk. In an interview, Arissa says that she loves and worries about Trishelle, and that while Trishelle is probably stronger than any of them thinks, she still feels a need to protect her. Trishelle Valley Girls, "I don't do that all of the time, I swear. I mean, I've been eating a lot since I've been here." Arissa asks Trishelle if she has issues with food, and Trishelle gives her a blank stare (as usual) as we go to commercial.
When we return, Arissa tells Trishelle that throwing up will "eat away at [her] esophagus." I'm totally distracted by some guy in the background who appears to have his pants down low enough that his whole ass is hanging out. Anyway, Trishelle says that she never "did this" until she went to college. You see, Trishelle? Your daddy was right; education is evil. Arissa asks Trishelle if she thinks she eats too much. Trishelle nods. In an interview, Trishelle says that she's always been able to eat whatever she wants, and now it's catching up with her. Again, the beer. It's empty calories. Drink less of it. Trishelle looks everywhere but at Arissa as she says that she doesn't think she has a problem or an eating disorder, but that she's "just scared to get fat." Oh my God! Not fat! Her life would be over! Arissa takes another puff of her cigarette and promises Trishelle that she won't get fat (and how does she know?), but says that if Trishelle doesn't stop it, her hair will fall out and her enamel will wear off her teeth and they'll get stained. You know, Arissa, smoking stains your teeth (and your lungs) too. Trishelle, clearly uncomfortable, plays with her hair and says that won't happen because she's not bulimic. Trishelle swears that she did not just throw up, so I guess Arissa didn't catch her in the act like Irulan thought. In an interview, Trishelle says that she's been having really bad stomach problems since she was sixteen. You know, I know someone who, every time he eats in a restaurant, immediately has to go to the bathroom. And both he, and Trishelle, should see a doctor about that. But I'm just saying that it's possible. Trishelle tells Arissa that she appreciates her concern and that Arissa shouldn't worry. Arissa says that she won't judge Trishelle, and that she just wants to make sure she's all right. They hug. See? Why couldn't the other girls do that? Although I have to say, that conversation did more to convince me that Trishelle is throwing up than any of the other "evidence" we saw, because she was so clearly uncomfortable while denying that she had a problem.
Alton and Frank play pool. Alton says that hooking up with lots of girls is just not like him, even though he's been doing it in Vegas. In an interview, Frank says, "Alton hooks up with lots of girls, and has no respect for them, whatsoever." Alton says he's always been in a relationship and didn't get to sow his wild oats. Frank clearly could not care less, as he asks if he's solids or stripes. Alton says that he would like true love, but he can't trust anybody. Frank says that he's not worried about finding true love, because he thinks it'll just happen. Alton doesn't agree. In a confessional, Alton says that he thinks his heart will lead him to love, but that "if [his] heart is scared to be broken, the only place it will lead [him] is somewhere by [himself]." I'm really going to need that Alton to English dictionary if he keeps talking.
Arissulan go to a strip club. Like, one where men are dancing. I don't know how anyone could find that sexy, but whatever. I've been to a male strip club (don't ask), and I don't think I stopped laughing long enough to even notice if the guys were hot, because it was just so fucking cheesy. Irulan says that she was "starting to feel a few sensations." Again, Irulan, invest in a vibrator.
The girls arrive home. Irulan springs into Alton's bedroom and dives on top of him and starts making out with him. And again, if the genders were reversed in this situation, all hell would break loose. Alton seems to be either drunk, or half asleep, or possibly both. Irulan asks if she should leave, and Alton says that she should because he has to go to sleep. Irulan continues to kiss him and rub against him. Alton calls her "girl," thus solving his name issue. Irulan complains that "Random Sketchy" (that is, Machela) gets it and she doesn't. They make out some more, and Irulan rolls on top of him and grinds some more. Alton says that he doesn't know how long he can continue this and not take her up on her offer. Irulan breaks away and calls out to Frank to tell him that he should go into the confessional. Alton laughs and calls out, "No, Frank." Frank goes into the kitchen and whispers something to Arissa, who gasps. In an interview, Arissa says that she's shocked, and that she thinks Alton and Irulan should just be friends and "keep it on a brother-sister level." Ew. Irulan grinds some more and then shoves her hand under the blanket and toward Alton's groin. Alton says that she's bringing up his huge crush on her, and then he gasps, "You have game." Irulan whispers, "It makes it very hard for me," and anyone who thinks she didn't grasp the double meaning there is dumb. Alton and Irulan make out some more. Alton says that he feels comfortable because she's Irulan. Then, Irulan breaks away and apologizes and Alton is all, "You don't have to go!" as she walks out of the room. Aw, now that's just mean. Of course, she has the right to change her mind, but that's still kind of cruel. In an interview, Alton says that he respects Irulan and doesn't want to "take it to that level," and plus, Gabe's coming to visit. Oh yeah. That. Irulan goes and sits in the kitchen with Arissa.
The morning, Alton meets up with Irulan in the bathroom and confirms that Gabe is coming in at 7. Alton says, "I just have a quick question. You're not gonna...are you gonna tell Gabe anything?" The Cello of Gabe Kicking Alton's Ass plays.
week: Gabe comes to visit. Alton tells Gabe that he can trust Irulan. Gabe asks Irulan whether she's done anything that will make her grandmother "keel over and die." Irulan cries that she doesn't want to lose Gabe.