I missed the first few minutes of the show because goddamn MTV can't start a show right on the hour. Anyway, when my tape starts up, the roommates are rehearsing one of their skits in the loft. Tonya suggests a change, and CJP informs her that "Kyle wants to leave it as is," and then refers to Kyle as "the playwright." Oh, yeah. Ibsen, Arthur Miller, and Kyle. I can appreciate the roommates taking this job seriously, but "playwright"? That's like me calling myself a writer. I have no such delusions. In an interview, Shiny Tonya says that CJP doesn't want to step on anyone's toes, but as the director, she needs to sometimes. In an interview, Keri says it pisses her off that CJP never acknowledges that Keri wrote the plays with Kyle, and that CJP and Kyle kiss each other's asses. Ew, not literally. I hope. Kyle voice-overs that his relationship with CJP is growing, so he can appreciate that Keri might feel left out. In an interview, Tonya says that CJP is just someone Kyle uses for affection and to avoid Keri, and CJP doesn't see that. CJP walks into Kyle's bedroom. Kyle asks what she thinks of "Bloody Mary," Keri's skit. CJP says that it's not Keri's best work -- like Keri has a body of work to compare it to -- and that she thinks Keri is intimidated because Kyle managed to write two skits that worked well. CJP says that she doesn't know what to do, because "it's a delicate situation." Kyle agrees. You know what will make it better? Discussing it behind her back. Except not.
Tonya talks on the phone to anyone but Justin. Just kidding. She's totally talking to Justin. Surprised? Anyway, she tells him that they have a busy day ahead, because they have dress rehearsal and they have to gather up their final props and such. Tonya explains that they changed "Bloody Mary" a few days earlier, and that it's a big mess. Justin asks Tonya about a doctor's visit, and Tonya says that her surgery is scheduled for the following week because she can't miss one performance. In an interview, Tonya says that she doesn't want her illness to affect work anymore, since it already has to a large degree. I don't know if they are going to address her surgery in future episodes, but I read in the book about the season that she had some cysts removed from her cervix. Kidneys and bladder, one system. Cervix? Totally different, mostly unrelated system. I don't see how cysts on her cervix equate to kidney stones, at all. I'm no doctor, but I don't understand. Unless she was...you know, lying about something. Which would be a shocker.
In a cab, Kyle tells CJP that Keri had a bad day that day, and that the tensions over her writing are thick. For the entire rest of this scene, Kyle sits with his mouth hanging open, looking like a dolt. CJP says that Kyle's feelings have "waned," and that it's not easy for Keri to take. CJP hopes that Keri will admit that she's jealous. In a confessional, Kyle wears more eyeliner than Ewan McGregor at the MTV Movie Awards (and not nearly as well as Ewan) when he says that Keri doesn't show her emotions often, but that it's obvious she is envious. Of Kyle? And his gaping maw? And square head? And lack of neck? And general toolishness? Or of CJP? And her skeletal frame? And her neediness? And her clinginess? And her psychobabbling? Wow, I can totally see why Keri would be jealous of those things. Except not. Kyle says that he treats Keri the same way he does the other female roommates. CJP thinks that must be hard for Keri, because it didn't seem that way in the past.
CJP and Kyle lie in bed and discuss how to rework Keri's skit. I have a brilliant idea. Maybe they could discuss this with Keri? I'm all for shit-talking, but this goes way beyond. Keri walks into the room and then quickly walks out. In an interview, Keri says that she tries to have conversations with Kyle or CJP and they blow her off. CJP calls out to Keri to come and sleep with her, and Keri says that Kyle already is. CJP and Kyle deny it. In an interview, Keri says that she's asked Kyle if he's attracted to CJP, and he's denied it. Keri doesn't believe it, and thinks that Kyle and CJP are attracted to each other. Keri adds that it's "an unwritten rule between girlfriends" that you don't go after each other's exes. Well, that's kind of true, but Kyle isn't really Keri's ex. And frankly, she should be happy that CJP is willing to take Kyle off Keri's hands. In an interview, CJP says that Keri hates to lose, so it's hard for her to face that she lost Kyle.
Kyle finds Keri in the bathroom and asks her about changing or rewriting it. Keri says that she already made some changes. Keri shows Kyle her notebook and explains the rewrites. In a confessional, Kyle says, "I feel like Cara and Keri are both attracted to me, and I feel a constant glare and resentment from Keri." Whoa. Back that thing up. Did he just say that he feels that both of his single heterosexual female roommates are attracted to him? Okay, so they are. But CJP is also attracted to any man (or woman) who gives her a compliment, so that's no big thing. Even if it's true, what a conceited thing to say! And he said it in a confessional, not an interview, so he can't even pretend that he only said it in response to a question from a producer. What an asshole. In an interview, Keri says that she's put up a shell so that she won't get hurt, and that even if she is hurt, she won't show it. Kyle's mouth hangs open some more as Keri explains her skit.
The day (?), CJP asks Kyle whether Keri finished the script. Why doesn't she ask Keri if she finished the script? Kyle says that he doesn't think Keri did, because she was in a bad mood. CJP says that the script should have been done a month ago, and that she's ready to pull the plug on it. In a confessional, Kyle says that CJP hasn't liked Keri's story since the beginning, but that she doesn't want to say that in front of Keri. Well, she should. Especially since she is saying it in front of the cameras. Did she think that Keri wouldn't see these scenes on television? Either keep your opinion totally to yourself, or tell the person involved. Aneesa voice-overs that CJP hides her true feelings, but sometimes you hurt people more when you keep things from them. Who knew Aneesa would be the voice of reason? Various shots of CJP sitting around looking worried follow. CJP tells Keri that she has something to mention, and makes a whole big dramatic production about it. Keri's like, "Yeah?" Keri barely stops doing the dishes. CJP tells Keri that her script is good, but wonders if maybe possibly they should do "The Cough" twice. Kyle looks up from whatever he was doing to see what Keri is going to say. Keri says that it's fine. CJP keeps asking if it's fine, and blah blah blah, like shut up already! Also, is it her decision to make? In an interview, CJP says that it must have hurt Keri's feelings when she heard the decision.
In a confessional, Kyle says that CJP and Tonya won't admit that they don't want to do Keri's skit. Didn't they just do that? Keri says that she wrote all three skits with Kyle. That seems like an important point that gets left out of this little storyline -- that Keri doesn't give a shit if they cut one skit because she worked on all of them. In an interview, Keri says that she knows that CJP wants to cut "Bloody Mary" because it wasn't Kyle's idea. In a confessional, Kyle says that Keri is "sensitive and defensive" because it's her story. Kyle adds that it's gotten to the point where he's paranoid that Keri is listening in to his confessional. Cut to outside the confessional, where Keri and CJP are both trying to listen in. Does anyone else get the feeling that Kyle totally knew the girls were trying to listen in, so he said that to make Keri look bad? I'm just really suspicious that all of the Kyle footage in this episode is in confessionals -- it could totally be Kyle trying to do damage control to make the episode look a certain way, and control how he is portrayed. Anyway, Keri finally knocks on the confessional door and asks if she can come in. Kyle makes a face at the camera like, "See what I'm saying?" and then lets Keri come in, like, couldn't he have just said that he was doing a confessional and she should wait? I hate him.
After the commercial, Keri is still in the confessional, sitting on Kyle's lap. She says that she's not upset about her skit being cut while, behind her back, Kyle mouths "Go away," and mimes shooting himself in the head with a gun. Don't tease me like that, Kyle. What a jerk. Kyle voice-overs that it couldn't be more obvious that he wanted her to leave. Yeah, to the viewers. Since he's doing all of this behind Keri's back, she doesn't know. God forbid that he just say, "Keri, could you leave?" Instead, he acts like he really likes her until she leaves, and then once she is gone, he says that Keri has really been bugging him lately, and he wishes that he had hung out with CJP a lot more in the beginning. CJP says that the confessional is "a sort of verbal journal," and she finds it "invasive and bizarre" that Keri would intrude on Kyle's. Oh, whatever. She was right there trying to listen, so I don't know what she's talking about.
Chris and Lara (their boss) show up at the loft. CJP informs Lara that they've decided to cut "Bloody Mary" and do "The Cough" twice. CJP starts listing off reasons why, including that it's had to undergo a lot of revisions and no one is sure of it, and also that Tonya is having surgery and might not be able to participate. Tonya overhears this last part and says that her illness shouldn't affect the decision. CJP tries to explain the conversation, and Tonya says again that she doesn't want to be the reason the skit is cut. CJP says that she has ten reasons, and that Tonya's illness was only one of them. Tonya says again that she doesn't want to be a reason, and CJP says that it's fine; now they have nine reasons to cut it instead. Tonya keeps going on and on about how her illness shouldn't be a reason, and CJP tells her to calm down, and that it's not a reason. Tonya won't let it lie and starts flipping out. CJP walks away, and Tonya starts yelling out that CJP just doesn't want to do the skit, and won't admit that to Keri because CJP doesn't have a backbone. CJP says that is not true. Kyle, Keri, Lara, CJP, and Tonya get into the elevator. Kyle suddenly has a very interesting problem with his hand that requires his full attention. Keri looks like she's trying not to crack up. CJP tells Tonya that she's a bitch, but Tonya says that she's just stating the truth. Really, she's just happy that, for once, there is a problem at work that doesn’t have anything to do with her "illness." Tonya says that CJP talks behind Keri's back and then tries to make it everyone else's problem. Lara just sits there like, "Why did I agree to take this job, again?" Keri silently walks out of the elevator, and then walks back in. CJP says that she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Tonya calls CJP "Keri" as she walks out, and CJP says, "Get my fucking name right, Tonya." Ooh, good comeback. In an interview, Keri says that she doesn't agree with the way that Tonya blurted out the information, but at least she was telling the truth. Theo is suddenly in the elevator, and he looks like he's trying not to laugh. In an interview, Theo says that he thinks Keri is hurting, although she won't admit it. Meanwhile, where did Chris go?