Instead of a "Previously On" segment, we get a "Tonight On" segment, which is kind of weird, like, can't we just watch the episode that follows to find out what will be on tonight? Anyway, tonight, Theo, CJP, Aneesa, and Tonya help some kids paint a mural. Aneesa hooks up with a chick named Veronica, and then yells at her.
Hey, did you know that there are roads with cars in Chicago? I didn't, but thanks to the footage I just saw, now I do! Anyway, cut to the loft, where Aneesa is opening a package. It's from her mother, and it contains a basket of smelly skin stuff, like lotions. CJP walks up, and Aneesa says that she loves her mother, and that she's incredibly generous. CJP gives herself a French manicure. It's unclear to me if she brought that stuff with her, or if she snatched it out of Aneesa's care package. Aneesa says that she feels so special right now that she wants to take a shower. Wuh? I mean, I guess I understand why, given the type of gift she just got, but that's a weird thing to say. Aneesa adds that her mother does love her, but doesn't approve of everything she does. Which is a nice segue to the segment.
Aneesa calls her mother to thank her for the gift. Her mother asks if Aneesa's room is clean, and Aneesa says that nobody's room is clean. Her mother asks why Aneesa's at home and not at work. Wow, her mother is kind of annoying with all the questions. Aneesa explains that her job will be painting a mural with kids, and her mother asks who is lifeguarding. Aneesa tells her that Keri, Kyle, and Chris are the lifeguards. Aneesa's mom asks, "How's my Kyle?" Aneesa says that Kyle is hot. Her mother asks, "What's the story in that department?" Aneesa says nothing is going on, and her mother disappointedly says that Aneesa is "still the way [she] left." Meaning, Aneesa is still gay. Her mother says that she is warning Aneesa, and that she doesn't want Aneesa to "come crying to [her]." Aneesa asks what she's talking about, and wonders if her mother doesn't want some woman to fall madly in love with Aneesa. This is the strangest conversation ever. Aneesa quickly but not unkindly says that she's going to hang up, and that she loves the gift, because it made her feel better. Her mother says okay, and Aneesa hangs up with a big sigh.
Aneesa stands on the street, talking to some blurry-faced girls. In an interview, Aneesa says that before she left to come to Chicago, her mother told her a bunch of things that she couldn't do while she was there. One of the things she couldn't do was date girls. She also couldn't curse, and that she had to be a lady all of the time and date guys. In other words, her mother wanted her to be someone that she is not. Aneesa wipes away tears as she says that she can't help being the person she is. Aneesa bids goodbye to her "dawgs" on the street. In an interview, Aneesa says that she has to watch what she's doing at all times, and in doing that, she's not being herself.
Aneesa walks into a club called Red Dog while Pink sings about getting the party started on a Saturday night. In an interview, Aneesa says that she went there to meet some chick named Lynn, and wanted to get to know Lynn's friend. We see Aneesa talking to some chick with short blonde hair; her name is Veronica. She has a carefree mind of her own and a delicate look in her eye. Okay, not really. We're going to call her Feminem (tm vabearcub), due to her short bleached hair and penchant for wifebeaters. In an interview, Aneesa explains that Feminem just got out of an eight-month relationship, but Aneesa thinks that she's really hot.
Back at the loft, Aneesa laughs a lot and gives her phone number to Feminem. In the elevator on the way down, a slow jam plays as Feminem leans in and kisses Aneesa. In an interview, Aneesa says that Feminem is a cool person, hot, and a good kisser. Aneesa can't wait to call her and go out again, and have at least one woman she's interested in.
The morning, Aneesa listens to a phone message from Feminem, who is just calling to say good morning. In an interview, Aneesa says that Feminem is so hot because she already left a message. I have to say that I'm not seeing Feminem's hotness, but whatever.
It's mural-painting time! Could there be a less interesting job to watch? It's like watching paint dry. Ha! I crack myself up. In an interview, Aneesa explains that they are going to be working with a bunch of kids to paint a mural. Some woman named Lara introduces herself, and then introduces the kids to Theo, Tonya, Aneesa, and CJP. In an interview, Aneesa says that she loves working with kids and having the opportunity to make a difference in their lives. Aneesa points out that Theo has architecture experience. The kids walk into a large room in what looks like a museum and sit around on the floor. Theo explains to them that the mural will be created from the kids' ideas, and asks them to return the day with some ideas on paper. They decide to walk out and see where the mural is going to go.
They reach the spot. Theo and Tonya point out the mural's eventual location. In an interview, CJP says that Theo is bringing a lot of ideas to the group. CJP tells the kids that they have a great spot, and that people will see their mural for years. The kids go into a room somewhere, and CJP hands out paper and tells them to sketch out their ideas. One of the kids, who seriously looks about twenty-five, tells the others that they might want to draw a picture of him on their murals because he's pretty famous. That kid is funny. Cast him! Ditch Tonya! The kids all draw. And draw some more. My favorite girl is the one in the football jersey who doesn't know what to draw. Aneesa sits down to help her out. Tonya sits by herself in a window and draws. In an interview, Tonya says that she had a "negative impression of the kids before [she] met them," and she thought they wouldn't want to work on a mural, but that's not the truth. Based on Tonya's statements, you might think that she didn't want to work with the kids because none of them are white and she's scared of them. Of course, we have nothing to support that, and far be it from me just to make wild, unsupported claims. What?
Back at home, Theo continues to work on his sketch for the mural. Aren't the kids supposed to be the ones coming up with the design? Aneesa walks over to the elevator and says that she needs to go pick up Feminem. Theo wants Aneesa to bring Feminem back to the loft. Aneesa describes Feminem as hot with blonde hair, big boobs, and a cute butt. I think Aneesa needs some glasses, because other than the (fake) blonde hair, I didn't see any of that. Theo thinks that Aneesa loves boobs. Aneesa says that she loves asses, thighs, and teeth more. Teeth? Theo asks Aneesa again to bring Feminem back, so that he can see her. Aneesa leaves. In an interview, Theo says, "Yes, being lesbians [sic] is wrong. But to me, women are so beautiful, like, God couldn't have done anything better than make a woman. And when you see two beautiful women kiss, there's something about it. It turns you on. I'm not going to lie." Well, I appreciate his honesty, but he's still a giant hypocrite. Because as long as it turns HIM on, then it's okay. Otherwise, it's disgusting. Glad to know that it's all about Theo.
Theo plays pool with Chris while Tonya cleans windows, Kyle does dishes, and Keri sits at the computer. Aneesa walks in with Feminem. The look on Kyle's face is hilarious. He just looks so confused. Feminem introduces herself to Theo. Okay, I guess she does kind of have big boobs. I couldn't see them earlier with the shirt that she was wearing then. Aneesa and Feminem go to Aneesa's room, and Theo advises that they not get too freaky. After they leave, Theo says that Feminem was supposed to be cute. Aneesa hyped Feminem up so much, and Theo was disappointed. He thinks that Feminem looks like "a troll or something." Kind of true. Chris laughs.
Aneesa and Feminem walk down the street holding hands. They go to see the most stereotypical lesbian folk singer, ever. She's playing an acoustic guitar and wearing a plaid flannel shirt. If she starts singing about Nicaragua, I'm changing the station. She has a pretty voice, though. Aneesa and Feminem sit on a couch and cuddle. In an interview, Aneesa says that there is something about Feminem that draws her, and that Feminem is a challenge. Aneesa feels that she needs a challenge, and she doesn't know what she would do if Feminem got back with her girlfriend. They return to the loft, and get into bed together. Aneesa is burning incense, so you know some loving is about to happen. I notice that CJP gave them the room to themselves, unlike Kyle and Keri with Chris and Kurt. We see black and white footage of Aneesa and Feminem snuggling in bed, and then suddenly Aneesa is straddling Feminem and pulling the blankets up. Hello! Hot lesbian love on line one!
The morning, Aneesa tells Feminem that she doesn't know what happened the night before, and she thinks they just rolled over and went to sleep. Do they not know about the cameras in the bedroom? CJP walks into the bathroom, topless, and says, "Good morning, lovebirds!" You know, if you're going to walk around topless, you have to be like Aneesa and just let it all hang out. CJP's arms are pinned to her chest, so why not just wear a shirt? I don't get that. Aneesa lets Feminem into the elevator. Aneesa voice-overs that Feminem is trying to break up with her girlfriend, and thanked Aneesa for showing her that she doesn't need to be with someone like that.
Back to the boring mural. The kids are designing it. In an interview, CJP explains that the kids are going to present the mural to the regional manager of the park to get approval. Theo tells the kids that they will be the ones doing the presentation. The kids continue working. Snore.
Aneesa is in the car with Chris and his friends. She gets a phone call from Feminem's girlfriend. In an interview, Aneesa explains that Feminem's girlfriend was saying that she was lying there naked with Veronica. Why would Aneesa not hang up immediately? Instead, she yells into the phone that she knows where Feminem's house is. Feminem's girlfriend calls Aneesa ugly, and Aneesa tells her to "check those stretch marks on [her] stomach," and calls her a "fat bitch." Oh, yes. This is what I'm talking about. Aneesa adds that she's not only smarter than Feminem's girlfriend -- she's about eleven years younger. I'm impressed that she could do the math in her head that quickly. Also, if you were Feminem's girlfriend, wouldn't you be upset that Feminem had clearly been talking shit about you to Aneesa? How else would Aneesa know about the stretch marks? Aneesa tells the guys in the car that Feminem's girlfriend is thirty, and the rest of the sentence is bleeped out. Feminem's girlfriend hangs up. In an interview, Chris says that Feminem "comes with some baggage," because she says that she broke up with her girlfriend, but really said ex-girlfriend is staying at Feminem's house. Aneesa jokes with the guys that she needs to get another "bitch to fill that one's place." The guys are dying laughing.
Aneesa walks into the house and says that she hates women. She tells CJP all about the phone call, and refers to Feminem's girlfriend as "Fat Cow." And since I'm tried of typing "Feminem's girlfriend" all the time, her new name is "Fat Cow." There are all these random people in the background, and I think one of them is George Stephanopoulous's younger, taller brother. CJP asks whether Aneesa is sure that Fat Cow was calling from Feminem's place, and Aneesa says that she knows it's true, because Feminem's name popped up on her caller ID. Aneesa keeps manically saying that she needs to go and find a Feminem replacement. I'm glad that she's trying to have a good attitude about the whole thing, but she's obviously upset and trying to hide it.
In an interview, Aneesa explains that she and Chris and some other friends went to a gay and lesbian festival downtown. Aneesa realized that there are lots of other women out there for her. Feminem shows up and calls out to Aneesa. Why does she go over there? I would totally blow her off. Feminem cuddles up to Aneesa and makes Aneesa take off her sunglasses so she can see her eyes. Aneesa has a look on her face that says, "Fuck this," but I wonder why she doesn't say aloud, "Fuck this!" In an interview, Aneesa explains that Feminem has no respect for her, because she had sex with her ex and then tried to kiss Aneesa. Aneesa and Feminem walk around together. Aneesa asks where Fat Cow is, and Feminem says that she's at work. Aneesa says that she wanted to smack Fat Cow in the face. Okay, Fat Cow is kind of an ass and all, but shouldn't Feminem be bearing the brunt of this tirade? In an interview, Aneesa explains that Feminem said that Aneesa deserved an explanation, and Aneesa wondered what possible explanation there could be. Chris tells Aneesa that she deserves ten times better, and she will get that. In an interview, Aneesa says that it's hard to deal with someone who is going through a breakup. So don't! I don't get this.
In the car on the way home, Aneesa and Chris discuss the situation. Chris said that he told Feminem that she needed to deal with Fat Cow. Aneesa says that Feminem showed her scratches and bruises from Fat Cow. Chris adds that Feminem also had hickeys on her neck. Aneesa says that Feminem claims that Fat Cow held her down. Chris tells Aneesa not to be naïve. Aneesa says that she's not. In an interview, Chris says that he knows that Aneesa was intimate with Feminem, and it's hard to drop someone after that. In an interview, Aneesa says that she appreciates the concern, but that she's an adult, and she's going to do what she wants.
Kyle answers the door. Feminem is standing down on the street. Kyle asks who the hell that is. I don't think that he doesn't know. I think he's saying it because he can't believe that Feminem showed up at their place. He lets her in and then yells out, "Aneesa! Your sex is here." Classy. Kyle lets Feminem in and tells her that she looks good. He's so condescending.
In an interview, Aneesa says that she doesn't just cut people off without talking it out. I don't think Feminem really deserves that, but whatever. Aneesa complains that Feminem told her that she was out of her relationship, and she's clearly not. Aneesa goes off to take a shower, so Feminem starts talking to CJP, who is topless again, and curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor. What is her damage? Feminem says that Fat Cow doesn't understand what's going on, and Feminem was in love with Fat Cow and her son (Fat Calf?), and it's hard to end that. Feminem and Aneesa kiss. In an interview, CJP says that Aneesa is having a good time, and Feminem is a little bit weak. CJP doesn't think that she can criticize anyone for being weak. I just wish she would put a damn shirt on.
CJP, Tonya, and Theo are getting ready to go to work on the mural. They're waiting for Aneesa, who is still getting ready. CJP keeps trying to wait, but Theo is already getting in the elevator. As they start to close the elevator doors, Aneesa comes running out. Theo is pissed.
CJP voice-overs that today is the day the kids will present their concept for the mural. The kids line up in front of the directors and explain their mural. It's all very cute, but not really why I watch this show. The director says that it's pretty interesting, and gives her approval. The kids all applaud. In an interview, Aneesa says that the kids appreciate that they will be able to look at the mural thirty years from now and say that they did it.
Aneesa listens to her messages. Feminem called to say that she left her bag in the loft. Oh, I'm so sure that was an accident. In an interview, Chris says that Feminem is "totally playing Aneesa." Aneesa hangs up the phone and tells everyone that Feminem is coming over with Fat Cow. Chris voice-overs that bringing her ex over to create drama is just ridiculous. Yes, but at least it's more interesting to watch than the stupid mural. Aneesa complains to CJP that Feminem is bringing her ex over. So don't let them in! Throw the bag out the window. Leave it down by the entrance. I don't see why they actually need to enter the loft. CJP thinks that it's inappropriate, too.
Feminem and Fat Cow show up. Aneesa immediately asks whether Fat Cow could leave, because she's not welcome. Fat Cow? Not that fat. She also refused to sign the release forms, so her face is blurred. Which is just dumb, because it's not like she didn't just go there to get on camera in the first place. Fat Cow suggests that they could have thrown the bag out of the window. Should I be worried that I had the same idea as Fat Cow? Aneesa calls Fat Cow a "crazy bitch," and orders her out of the house. Feminem and Fat Cow get in the elevator. Fat Cow says that she and Feminem are going home to make love. Feminem just stands there with a stupid smile on her face. She is so loving this. I hate her. Theo tells Feminem that bringing her ex over was disrespectful. Feminem just shakes her head, as if she had no control over this whole escapade. Aneesa throws the bag into the elevator and tells Feminem to "take the ho out." Aneesa slams the elevator door shut and yells out, "And don't call me!" Okay, maybe she got some closure out of that, but I still say she shouldn't have dignified the whole thing by even showing up.
The other roommates watch as Aneesa runs down the stairs. They glance at each other, and then follow. Hee! That's totally what I would do. Downstairs, Aneesa and Fat Cow continue to exchange words while Feminem pretends like she's trying to herd Fat Cow out the door. Aneesa yells out the door, "Don't disrespect me ever the fuck again! I will fuck you up!" The other roommates giggle. Feminem and Fat Cow get into their SUV and take off.
The Sad Music of Aneesa's Front plays as Chris says, "Behind all the front of whatever Aneesa's feeling, I know that inside her heart, she's crying." The roommates stand on the sidewalk and applaud the show they just saw. Upstairs, Aneesa goes into a bathroom stall and slams the door. In an interview, Chris says that Aneesa has a tough skin, but inside, she is just a hurt girl. Chris walks into the bathroom and asks Aneesa if she is okay. Aneesa sobs. Well, I'm sure that's the last we've seen of Feminem, right?
Wrong. In the episode, Aneesa and Feminem are talking in a coffee shop. What? Why would Aneesa ever agree to see Feminem again? In an interview, Aneesa says that she's enjoying Feminem's begging. Kyle's friend Djordje (yes, that's really how it's spelled) comes to visit, and CJP hooks up with him. And then, as if that's not exciting enough, Aneesa and Feminem apparently get into a fistfight and the cops show up! Woohoo!