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Previously on The Real World: Quarrel had a Vaj moment in her argument with Mike over panty-droppers. Nicole yelled at Kevin, "I don't have to! I! Don't! Have to!" which sadly might end up being the most memorable quote of this season. Nicole went out and recruited people for a focus group while Rachel giggled ineffectually and tried to hide.
Every week, I notice something new in the credits. This week, I noticed that Mike's segment is shown in front of a nudie bar. Nice subliminal message there. Mike doesn't like dudes! He likes the ladies!
Statue of Liberty Shot #4. Rachel confesses that she didn't get any people for the first focus group. I'm just going to call Quarrel and Nicole "The Bullies" this week, because that's all they do. Nicole is wearing the biggest earrings I've ever seen. She could take one off and jump through it. Or, more likely, make Rachel do it. The Bullies make fun of Rachel for not doing any work, which is oh-so-ironic given what happens later in the episode. In an interview, Nicole says that Rachel was giving her a really hard time while Nicole was trying to recruit people for the focus group. So giggling and clinging to the sides of buildings is "a really hard time"? In an interview, Rachel claims that The Bullies are intimidating, and that they tease her to the point that it hurts her feelings. Lori watches from upstairs as Nicole claims that their teasing is payback. Payback for what? Have any of the roommates ever teased The Bullies, ever? No, because they're scared to do it. Oh wait -- it must have all taken place off camera. Except it totally didn't. Rachel proclaims that she's just going to leave the room, because she can't take their teasing. Rachel seems like one of those people who would be really easy to tease, but that's no excuse for the way The Bullies are acting. Jesus, suddenly this apartment is all Animal Farm.
Nicole gets up at 4 AM to complete her hair and makeup. By noon, she's ready to leave the house. In an interview, Nicole explains that she hates getting up every morning to do a job she doesn't like, largely because she saw her mother do that for years. In an interview, Quarrel explains that she doesn't want to sit in an office all day. Oh, I feel so bad for them! They live rent-free in one of the most expensive cities in the world, and at a time when unemployment is on the rise, they are given a cushy office job for twenty hours per week, for which they earn a stipend. Nicole even mentions that her mother had to clean houses for a living, and yet she still feels sorry for herself? Get some perspective. Jesus.
Devin and Adam tell the roommates that they want to promote a band called Color at colleges. In an interview, Mike explains that they send CDs around the country to promote bands. Devin and Adam explain how the music industry works, and why the work the roommates do is important. In a confessional, Nicole says that she doesn't like to pretend she's doing work just to look busy. She would rather work with kids than adults. That's great. I hope she does work with kids in five months from now, when the show is done taping. In the meantime, suck it up and do your job, or leave the show. Period. In an interview, Lori claims that The Bullies' attitudes toward work are aggravating. No fucking kidding. Quarrel packs her things up and leaves at 5:15 PM while Mike, Lori, and Malik stick around and do more work.
Mike, Malik, Kevin, and Lori go to a bar. Kevin says that he doesn't have any respect for The Bullies. In an interview, Lori explains that it's been girls vs. boys in the house, for some reason. Maybe because Quarrel and Nicole are bullies and Lori and Rachel were too scared to cross them? Lori explains to the boys that she isn't going to hate someone just because The Bullies do. Mike thinks Quarrel is rude on the phone. He explains that she refused to take a message from his friend. For once, B/M was actually on the stick and got footage of Quarrel telling Mike's friend that she isn't Mike's mother and that she doesn't know where he is. Then, Quarrel agrees to take a message, but totally doesn't. Now, here is an issue that this show has never covered before: phone manners. Except that they totally have, in Seattle, when Stephen claimed that Irene was rude while he was on the phone. ["Or the first time around in New York, when Kevin threw a candlestick at Julie because she allegedly cussed him out on the phone while Kevin was on the line discussing job-related issues." -- Wing Chun] At least this time, they got the footage. Kevin thinks that The Bullies don't respect the boys. No, I think they just know that the boys won't put up with their crap, so they've given up. In an interview, Lori cries and claims that she's tense because people in the house are so strong about their convictions that they aren't willing to accept differences in people or adjust their ways of communicating with each other. That's the most insightful thing anyone on this show has said all season.
“ Nicole explains that she doesn't know Rachel's borders. Here's a thought: if she's crying, shut up. ”
Rachel cries because The Bullies are against her. Nicole explains that she doesn't know Rachel's borders. Here's a thought: if she's crying, shut up. Instead, Nicole pushes and pushes until Rachel is in tears. Don't get me wrong -- I think that Rachel would be really annoying to live with. But I would just go about my business. Because I'm a fucking adult. Rachel doesn't want The Bullies to think that she's a crybaby. Nicole tells Rachel to own her emotions, and says that Rachel has to be willing to take their teasing if she also dishes it out. I guess for Nicole, "dishing it out" means the same as "sitting by silently and giggling while Quarrel makes fun of Mike." That's all we've seen Rachel do thus far. Quarrel says she likes Rachel and isn't being mean. The Bullies basically say that they won't "play" with Rachel anymore. Rachel gets frustrated because she's trying to tell The Bullies that she can joke around with them, but only to a point. Plus, there's the whole "ganging up" aspect.
Bunim: Do you think we could get that little boy with the white hair and the annoying voice to kill one of the mean ones in her sleep?
Murray: First of all, that's a girl. And second, believe me, we've tried. I'm going to talk to my contact at Big Brother and find out where they positioned the knives in relation to the beer.
Bunim: Did you try giving that "girl" some money?
Murray: Girl, please. I can't talk to her for more than five minutes without going insane.
Rachel is still crying, and tells Nicole, "I'm worried that if I'm honest with you, and say something you don't like, that you're going to write me off like you did with Kevin and Malik." Damn. Go, Rachel. Nicole says that the boys wrote themselves off by talking behind her back. Nicole just wants Rachel to be honest with her. Well, so that's settled. I'm sure that won't come up again this season. Or, at least not until after the commercial. Maybe.
Mike and Kevin discuss the fact that the girls don't respect them, and agree that it's causing negativity. In a confessional, Mike compares dealing with The Bullies to sinking in quicksand, because the more you try to dig yourself out, the more you sink. I can't imagine Mike trying to fix a situation and just making it worse. Except that he's done it just about every week. Malik says it's sad that he would rather stand outside in the snow than go into his house. Kevin says that it's more positive out on the streets, which he feels is weird. The boys throw snowballs at each other for, like, ten minutes. I mean, on the one hand, "Yay, bonding!" On the other hand, get on with it. Plus, I think one of them claimed that it was the first snowfall. I'd like to live in the alternate reality New York that they inhabit, because we got our first snow in, like, October.
“ Mike imagines that Quarrel will start an argument. Where did he ever get that idea? ”
Rachel talks to Lori about her problems, and says that The Bullies aren't good friends. There's really nothing else to say about that scene.
The roommates all go to work, but The Bullies stay home. The Bullies cackle and make a pact always to be the last ones to go to work and the first ones to leave. Keep this in mind later, when they are claiming that they work hard. In an interview, Kevin explains that they are going to the Koffee Brown release party that night. The Bullies are out shopping for outfits to wear to the party while everyone else is working. Lori calls someone and says that she will send him or her some CDs, then packages them and gets them ready to ship out. Meanwhile, The Bullies shop some more. It's actually pretty funny because whenever they show the roommates who are at work, the music is very serious, and when they show The Bullies shopping, the music is all relaxed swing music or something. Devin and Adam ask the others where The Bullies are. They are still shopping. Apparently, they were supposed to come in to work for some "Street Team Gig," but Lori paged them and told them they don't have to come in. The Bullies nap on the couch at home while the roommates at work make promotional phone calls and send out more CDs. Devin and Adam give the workers tickets to Outkast for working so hard. I wanted to add here that when I said last week that Nicole would bitch about the group even if she did get tickets, I didn't mean Nicole wouldn't like Outkast. Obviously, she probably would. I meant that Nicole would always find something to complain about. I got a couple of emails about that, so I wanted to clarify. We good? Great.
Quarrel reads an instant message from Rachel, explaining that the roommates who were actually at work got tickets to Outkast. Nicole is upset that she didn't get tickets, even though she worked at "that boring job" every other day. Back in the office, Mike imagines that Quarrel will start an argument. Where did he ever get that idea? Lori hopes that they don't give her any shit for telling them not to come in, because The Bullies could have come in anyway.
The Bullies jump all over Rachel the second she walks in the door, because they know that she's the weakest link. Kevin apparently told The Bullies that they didn't have to come in. Kevin tries to explain to The Bullies what he meant by that page. Quarrel says that she's not a slacker, and that she wants to be at work when she's expected to be. In an interview, Quarrel says that she doesn't know why she would be singled out for not working, when she has done just as much work as anyone else. Quarrel tells Kevin that if he weren't at work, and she got tickets, she would have asked about him. Kevin's all, "You would have?" Quarrel says yes, and Kevin drops it. In a confessional, Kevin says that he's not going to raise his hand and ask for tickets for "the two slugs."
The Bullies confront Rachel about emailing them about the tickets, as if she were rubbing it in. Seriously, they only pick on Rachel because they know that she'll cave in to their demands. Rachel says that she didn't know what to do, because she knew The Bullies would be upset. Rachel voice-overs that she has trouble sticking up for herself and that she doesn't want to be bullied. I love how The Bullies assume that the only reason they didn't get tickets is because they weren't in the office at the time. It couldn't possibly be that Devin and Adam chose that moment to give out the tickets precisely because The Bullies weren't there, could it? We'll find out in a few paragraphs.
Bunim: Adam and Devin are the biggest gaylords.
Murray: Total gaylords. Actually, Adam is more of a douchebag. Devin, however, is definitely a gaylord.
Bunim: Do you think if we just left these kids in Morocco week anyone would notice?
Murray: Well, clearly Devin and Adam wouldn't. They didn't even know The Bullies weren't at work for the first five hours of the day.
The Bullies talk to Lori (who is still at the office, um, working) on the phone. They argue over the page that Lori sent, which was "We're off; no need to come in." Lori says that didn't mean that they couldn't come in, but Quarrel argues that Lori basically told her not to come in. Lori totally doesn't back down, though. In an interview, Lori says that The Bullies don't deserve the tickets. In an interview, Quarrel says that she's upset that Lori and Rachel weren't looking out for her as her friends. One interesting tidbit that came out of that conversation is that the roommates are only required to work twenty hours per week. What the hell are they complaining about? I worked more hours while I was going to college full-time than these pansies do now! And they have no other obligations. None. Any sympathy I was starting to build up for The Bullies (and believe me, there wasn't much) just went down the drain. Even if they do have mostly busy work to do, they could do it for twenty hours per week. And, might I add, for someone who is so concerned about representing her race well, Nicole isn't doing a very good job. Im not saying that she is lazy, or that she should feel the need to prove to bigots that African-Americans aren't lazy, but she talks about being a strong black woman for the cameras all the time, and then she falls down on the job.
At home, The Bullies bitch at Rachel and Lori some more about not getting tickets for them. For some reason, they are standing on the stairs on opposite sides of the house, and on different floors, so they're basically screaming across the house to one another. In an interview, Lori says that she's not a bad friend, and that it's ridiculous that Quarrel is trying to say she is. Lori explains to Quarrel that the work situation was awkward, and that it all happened really quickly. Quarrel hones in on Rachel again, knowing that Lori will stand her ground. Nicole explains that her feelings were hurt, and that she feels that they didn't look out for her. In an interview, Quarrel says that the girls need to have each other's backs. Any questions about who is behind the gender divide in this house? Quarrel explains that she loves Lori and Rachel and that she's trying to build a true friendship. Clearly, her "rational" "arguments" weren't working, so Quarrel piled on the guilt trip. If I were Lori or Rachel, I would have just stood up and said, "This is a YP, not an MP. Your Problem, not My Problem. Go talk to the bosses. They're the ones who gave out the tickets. We may be friends, but we are also co-workers, and it's not my job to manage your relationship with the bosses." Well, I pretend that I would've said that, but in reality, I would have sat there and listened, which is what Lori and Rachel did. In an interview, Lori says that The Bullies claim to love her and Rachel, but The Bullies hurt the other girls all the time, and it's not right.
The Bullies explain the situation with work to Adam and Devin. Quarrel's happy with just explaining why they weren't there, but Nicole has to bring up the tickets. Nicole wonders whether the others only got the tickets for being there. Devin shuts her down by explaining that the day they gave out the tickets really didn't have anything to do with it. They looked at the timesheet and gave the tickets to the people who clocked the most time. Yeah, Devin! You go with your turtleneck sweater! Nicole protests that the people who were there for a long time were downloading stuff from Napster and otherwise screwing around, and she doesn't feel that it's morally right to stay and look busy to get points with the bosses. I can't believe that they didn't bleep out the part about Napster. Plus, DUDE! How dumb must you be to use Napster when you're working at a record label?! Adam explains that some people have taken initiative by coming to the bosses and looking for more work, or making suggestions, with the unspoken point that Nicole isn't one of them. Adam! With your turtleneck sweater underneath a blazer! You're still a dork, but at least I like you a little bit now. Seriously, do Devin and Adam each own one outfit, or were all of their scenes filmed on the same day? Nicole clearly wasn't listening to that last part because, in an interview, she bitches that they based the ticket-giving solely on hours worked, even though Adam just said it was more about who is taking initiative. You can either bitch about hating your job, or you can bitch about not being rewarded at your job, but you can't slack off and then bitch about others getting promotions and whatnot. Sadly, most people do exactly that.
Lori and Quarrel go outside to smoke. Quarrel bitches that Adam and Devin don't know how hard she works. Quarrel vows to go the extra mile and show by her actions and not her words how hard she can work. Well, I hope that she does just that. The Sad Music of Becoming a Fucking Adult plays as Quarrel explains that in the past she has blown off jobs, but that was irresponsible, so she doesn't want to do that anymore. She wants to be accountable for her actions. Like Patti Labelle, Quarrel has a new attitude. My friend's mom always thought that song was called "A New Pair of Shoes." Given all the shopping we saw, Quarrel probably has those too.
It's the night of the Outkast concert. In a confessional, Mike says that Kevin didn't want to go, so he offered his tickets to The Bullies. Nicole yells out that she doesn't want anyone's reject tickets. She sarcastically adds that Adam and Devin don't think she earned the ticket, so she shouldn't go. Rachel, Mike, Malik, Lori, and some random guy go to the concert while The Bullies sit home and giggle about how stupid everyone else is. Yeah, they've learned their lesson.
week: they're suddenly in Morocco with the Road Rules crew. Man, last year I got out of having to do a crossover episode, but I shouldn't exactly be surprised about having to do it this year, because what else do they have to show? Anyway, Quarrel calls Rachel a baby, and Rachel calls Quarrel a bully. Some of the guys get naked and Mike is excited about corrupting Rachel. No, not like that. I hope not, anyway. I think he's just excited for her finally to see a real, live penis.