Previously, on the Real World: Jamie is Melissa's Nature Sensei. More like Nature Senseless. In this capacity, he gets Melissa to throw a football. I'm not sure what football has to do with nature, but let's just go with it. We don't really have any choice. Melissa had long hair, and told David that he was shutting her off. David said if she didn't want to talk to him for five weeks, it was done. Imagine if neither David nor Melissa talked for five weeks. Oh blessed joy. Well, it would make the recapping difficult.
The doorbell rings at Belfort, and Matt answers. Why does their postman ring the doorbell? Does he want camera time? When Matt gets the mail, it's just regular old mail. It's not FedEx or UPS or something he would have to sign for. Or maybe B/M pays off the mailman to ring the doorbell when delivering packages important to the storylines. Anyway, Matt answers the door, and he's dressed like a golfer gone retarded. He's wearing plaid pants and a yellow sweater vest. Talk about your scary clowns. Matt immediately grabs the one envelope in the bunch that is from the producers, but I'm sure he wasn't prompted at all, even though it was totally on the bottom and any normal person would have found it last. He starts to open it and as if by magic, all of the roommates appear to help him. This is all so staged. Please. Apparently, it contains a disk with some sort of QuickTime file, which turns out to be a movie of a woman telling them they are going to South Africa. Danny's hair is inexplicably orange in this scene. Like, Danny, lighten up on the Sun-In. Get it? Lighten up? See what I did there? Everyone is really psyched about the vacation, except Melissa, who looks pissed off. Danny hugs Kelley and Julie. Matt hugs Kelley and Julie. In an interview, David says that he's never been off his block, and now he's going to South Africa. But, um, isn't he off his block right now? Because we all know he's from the South Side of Chicago, which is the baddest part of town, and if you go down there, you'd better just beware of a man named Leroy Brown. I'm sorry, I haven't been able to do that for a while and I couldn't resist. Anyway, David apparently thinks that New Orleans is a subsection of his block. In a confessional, Jamie says (again) that he is Melissa's Nature Senseless so he's going to show her the "great wide open of motha nate-cha!" Jamie, please don't talk like that ever again. In fact, please don't talk ever again. Ever.
Kelley, Julie and Melissa are sitting in someone's bedroom. I think this is the same scene from two weeks ago when Kelley and Melissa discussed Kelley's depression. Anyway, they are now discussing their upcoming vacation. Kelley applies makeup, and says that she can't believe they are going to Africa in a day or two. Melissa doesn't give a damn. Julie pretends she didn't hear her and says that she wants to see elephants and giraffes, and then throws Melissa a bone by asking if she wants to see those things. Melissa says they have Busch Gardens in Tampa, so she's "already seen all that mess." Kelley thinks this over, while applying more makeup. Dude, she has a lot of makeup.
Another package has arrived. Danny guesses that it's something for their trip to Africa. Melissa says she's not interested then. Danny decides to open the box, and suddenly Melissa is interested. Hmm, do you think she is faking this whole "not interested in Africa" thing for attention? Melissa? Wanting attention? I know, it's a shocking thing to suggest. Julie and David come out of the woodwork and start looking at the contents of the box, which seem to be backpacks and some brochures. Danny reads a brochure and informs everyone that they will be staying in Zambia and Zimbabwe. Julie tells Melissa that they'll be drinking in the wildlife, and it will be so cool. Melissa makes a face and walks away because everyone is too busy looking at the gear to pay her any attention. I wonder where all those bags came from? Maybe we'll find out later. In an interview, Melissa says that everyone is talking about safaris, and animals, and heat, and she just doesn't want to go. Because it's really cold in New Orleans, so she'd rather stay there, I guess.
David is shaving his head in the room with the pool table. There do not appear to be any newspapers down. Julie sits and talks to him. David says he's ready to go to Africa. In an interview, Julie says that if you get David in "the right context," he's a nice person to talk to. Yeah, and the rest of the time, you're on pins and needles, wondering if he's going to deign to talk to you or if he's too busy with his thugs. Julie says that this trip will change things. Then she busts out a metaphor: "The true quality of the oil is shown when the olive is pressed." So who is the olive, and who is the oil, in this scenario? Julie explains that this trip might press all of them. Okay, so the roommates are the olives. But what does the oil represent? Their souls? David says he can see himself growing, largely due to the massive quantity of steroids he just injected into his ass. Julie says that he'll see how much influence he has on people, and that he doesn't understand "the magnitude of [his] influence in the house." Julie is making it sound like it's a positive influence. She should just say, "When you act pissy, everyone gets pissy too." David says, "This is all news to brotha." I would complain about him calling himself 'brotha,' but at least he doesn't refer to himself in the third person. Yet.
The music says, "When worlds collide," so I brace myself for a big fight or something. No such luck. Instead, we see Melissa and Julie carrying gigantic duffel bags downstairs and out to a van. David, however, has just a backpack. I'm just going to hope that he already put his bag in the van. I don't know how long they are going to be in Africa, but I'm guessing it's at least a week, and with the heat and all, I would think he would need more clothes than he can fit in that backpack. In an interview, Melissa says that this whole thing could make or break things between David and the roommates. Then, there's another interview with Melissa, where she sarcastically cheers the attributes of South Africa. Okay, we get it. Melissa doesn't want to go. She feels there is nothing there for her. Gotcha. Enough. On the bus, Melissa asks if she'll have to carry her bag again. I wish they would send Melissa on a trip where she had to carry her bag across the desert or something. Stop whining, you ingrate! There is a close-up shot of a logo for eBags. So that's where they got the bags from! They check in at the airport. Julie voice-overs that she has a feeling that the seven of them together all the time is going to be hairy. Good thing David shaved his head.
week, David says he has a hard time trusting people, and that there is a distance between the other roommates and himself. Melissa says David is a poor example of what black men in America should be. Jamie bungee-jumps, possibly with his own cord.
Over the credits, Melissa changes her mind about the whole meditation thing.