The Real World S08E23

Ruthie from Hawaii is waiting for Justin from Hawaii to arrive at the airport. Ruthie looks really good. She cut her hair to about shoulder-length. Justin tells us that he thought Ruthie looked "wonderful." Justin's gone back to his natural hair color, which is a bit of a relief.

, there's a montage of other cast members arriving. Annoying (a.k.a. Amaya) from Hawaii and Lindsey from Seattle were on the same flight. As soon as they leave the camera range, we see the flight attendants stagger out. One is clutching a super size bottle of aspirin and ripping the cap off with his teeth. The other is holding a little sign that says, "Please kill me now." Clearly, having those two on the same flight was an overload for the staff. David from Seattle walks by, as does Tetanus Girl (a.k.a. Kaia) from Hawaii. Tet Girl is wearing some bizarre medallion, but no bindhis. Nathan from Seattle walks out, wearing a really tight black T-shirt. Nathan gets on some sort of train, and tells us that he'd like to see Irene and say hi to her and see if she got it together, but he wouldn't be "pissed off" if Stephen wasn't there. This may mark the first time I ever agreed with Nate-dawg. Rebecca from Seattle is picking up Stephen. How come some people get picked up at the airport and others have to find their own way to the hotel? Anyway, it's annoying because in the footage at the airport, Rebecca has long hair, but then in the interviews, she suddenly has a chin-length bob, or so it appears. What's up with that? Of course, I should know better than to expect continuity from these producers. Stephen arrives, wearing a long-sleeved button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up above his biceps, like that looks natural. He tells Rebecca he wants to see some people but not others, and then he says in an interview, "I'll be damned if I let somebody fake the funk on me." No, I don't know what he's talking about either.

Janet arrives, and says she's nervous because she hasn't seen some of these people in two years. She reminds us that she was on the Challenge with Jason, and according to the RW Hawaii book, she practically moved in with him afterwards, but then they parted ways. Dan from Miami arrives and tells us that his old roommate Joe has "an agent or a manager because he's so important" and might not be there. So, now the producers have successfully set up the "Stephen is crazy" storyline, the "Janet and Jason romance" storyline and the "Dan vs. Joe" storyline. Just keeping track for those of you playing the home game. Sarah from Miami arrives and tells us that Joe is really busy, but she said she would go to the reunion if he did. Syrus from Boston says he hasn't seen his old roommate Sean in a while, and that Sean has new things in his life. Sean tells us that his whole world has turned upside down, and it's wonderful. Seriously, is there anyone who didn't know he married Rachel from San Francisco? Oops, hope I didn't ruin the surprise for anyone.

Dave introduces the cast from Boston. The clip package shows us Elka saying she can't live with these people; Genesis pulling down Sean's underwear; Montana's multiple boyfriends; Montana saying that Elka is a virgin; Genesis saying that she likes women but she's attracted to drag queens; Syrus bringing home various women; and the group working in an after-school program for kids. The cast enters. Elka looks like a cross between Celine Dion and Jennifer Aniston, and she's wearing a bindhi. I truly thought I had seen the last of those when the Hawaii season ended. As Wing Chun pointed out, Jason is channeling Seth Green, and not very well. Syrus has on a lot of gold chains. Genesis looks like a porn star. I know a lot of people thought she looked great, but I thought she looked better in Boston. At least she didn't look plastic then.

Dave asks what everyone is doing now. Elka lives in Las Vegas, is attending UNLV and is still with Walter. In an interview, Jason says that Elka has grown up and become gorgeous. Jason got a job with Bunim-Murray as a casting director, helped to cast the Hawaii season (so I blame him for my pain) and has now started an Internet company. Kameelah is a senior at Stanford, and is applying to medical school. The helpful on-screen text tells us she likes to salsa dance twice a week. The hell? In an interview, Kameelah tells us that she had "zero tolerance" when she was on the show, but she has learned patience since then. Genesis says she got married, and points out her wife (who I thought was her mother, earlier). Dave Holmes refers to the wife as "Mrs. Genesis," but her real name is Paige. In case you didn't get that she's not a drag queen (and I wouldn't blame you for being confused), Genesis tells us in an interview that she can't predict people's reactions to homosexuality. Oh, wait, Genesis is a lesbian? Now they tell me! Dave asks Paige how they met, and the reply is "in a club." Genesis says Elka was a witness at their wedding, which took place in Las Vegas. In an interview, Elka tells us that Paige is wonderful and has been a friend, a lover, and a mother figure to Genesis. I have no comment on that. Genesis tells us they've been together two years. Genesis is trying way too hard, here. Syrus designs video games, and is currently working on "March Madness 2001." Kameelah tells us in an interview that Syrus is the same, "ladies' man, playa's playa, flashy clothes, tons of jewelry, sunglasses in the auditorium." Syrus says life is good.

up, Dave Holmes introduces the Seattle season, featuring "a cast that nobody could forget." The clip package shows various shots of the cast acting goofy, Lindsey hanging from the rock-climbing wall in their house and Rebecca saying that David is a "smooth character" with a "machismo side." David tells us that his penis was "the eighth roommate" and then falls in love with Kira, the casting director. In one of the greatest Real World confessionals of all time, David says dramatically that his relationship will make it "more real than anything you fucking have!" Nate kisses Stephanie a lot, and Janet says Nate's commitment makes him attractive to her. Irene and Nathan clown around. Janet finds out they are going to work at a radio station. Irene says she has to marry Stephen because he can cook. Irene goes loony because of her Lyme Disease. The clip package ends and the cast walks out. They are doing this weird staging where they have the cast members enter from different parts of the auditorium for some reason. Everyone looks pretty much the same, except Lindsey and Janet have longer hair. Nate tells us that it's good to see everyone and that they've all grown up a little bit. Dave Holmes asks everyone what they are currently doing. Nate is appearing in the films Wicked Spring and Tangy Guacamole, not coming soon to any theater near you, I would imagine. Nate says being on the show made his "dreams come true" and that he dropped out of VMI (Virginia Military Institute). We see some clips of Nate and David at VMI, in case you forgot. It was in Virginia, it was military and it was an institute. Nate felt like he had a "window of opportunity" and draws a little window in the air, but says he has an "open invitation to go back" and finish. Dave Holmes asks him about Stephanie, his girlfriend during the show. Nate says they were on and off for a while, and everyone cheers. Nate gets all mad and tells the audience that Stephanie is a nice person. How does he know they weren't cheering because they were on, not off? Anyway, they're not together anymore, and Stephanie is in another relationship and Nate is single.

Dave Holmes asks Rebecca what she's been doing. She replies that she's been studying in Florence, Italy, and she sings with a band, and they're going to record a CD together. We see a clip of Rebecca singing that song she recorded with Sir Mix-A-Lot and talking about how important music is to her. I thought that song was really annoying, but when I hear it, it gets stuck in my head. Some on-screen text lets us know that Rebecca modeled for Abercrombie & Fitch. Dave asks her what kind of music it is, like he couldn't wipe the floor with her when it comes to musical knowledge. Rebecca says it's "folk-rock," which is just what the world needs. More warbling ovaries. Maybe she can get onto the Dawson's Creek soundtrack. In an interview, Rebecca tells us she's still the same person, but more open. She tells Dave that she's going to "let fate take hold of [her]." In other words, she's hoping someone sees her on the reunion and gives her a job. Dave asks Stephen what's new, and he replies, "The world is new." I hope that's not considered faking the funk, because Stephen warned me against that earlier. Stephen has graduated from Berkeley and is involved with an Internet startup that is "integrating broadcast and the world, basically." Hey, streaming audio and video over the web? He had better patent that because I've never heard of such a thing! He's really going places. Some on-screen text informs us that Stephen has done some modeling, which I don't get. Janet tells us in an interview that she worries about Stephen because she's heard he's "gone through some hard times these past couple of years." Stephen tells us in an interview that he's been "hurt a lot, and been fucked with and people shouldn't fuck with other people." I don't know if it's his demeanor, or his words, or the fact that the camera is shooting him from overhead, but Stephen seems really paranoid, and possibly on drugs in his interviews.

Dave takes questions from the audience. Someone asks if David regrets the "Kira situation"? For those who don't know, David got involved with a casting director named Kira, even though it was in her contract that she couldn't get involved with a cast member. Kira ended up getting fired over it, then came to stay with David in Seattle for a while. Eventually, she wanted him to leave the show, or come live with her once the show was over, and he didn't want to. This led to many dramatic scenes, including one that never fails to induce giggles, where David and Kira are in a truck and David yells, "You just don't know, Kira!" and punches the dashboard. This is all reviewed via clips. Afterwards, David says he doesn't regret getting involved with her, but he regrets the way it was portrayed and he regrets that she was affected, both personally and professionally. Dave Holmes asks the cast how they've grown since their season ended. Nate says being on the show is the first time you get to see yourself through someone else's eyes, and he saw his faults and what he needed to work on to be a better person. In an interview, Nathan tells us that he was drinking excessively when he was on the show, and he was "ugly and sloppy," so he's cut back on that "100%." I'm not quite sure how that works out mathematically, but I guess it's a good thing. Back on stage, Nathan says he got to see who he actually is. Janet says she has shared something with her roommates. Dave Holmes brings up that she got involved with another Real World-er, and they cut to Jason, like we didn't get it from the eight thousand other times they've already mentioned it. Janet says she doesn't know what Dave is talking about, so he introduces yet another clip package. We see lots of clips of Janet and Jason talking about how attracted they are to one another. Then, a producer is interviewing Jason and he is told that they caught him and Janet on the tennis courts, which causes Jason to run away from the camera and swear. Then they tell Janet the same thing, and she swears a blue streak, and then denies that it was her. Back on stage, Dave Holmes asks Janet about it, and she says it was "innocent." Dave asks Jason and he agrees. In an interview, Jason says that he "leapt on her like a beast, threw her up against the wall and started kissing her." What tennis court has walls? Dave Holmes asks what attracted them to each other, like that's a good question. Why do you think they were attracted to each other? Jason mumbles something about the close quarters and Janet being beautiful. Janet says Jason understood her, and he was sensitive, but ultimately it didn't work out because they value their friendship too much. In an interview, Janet says you can't change Jason. Dave Holmes asks if there is any chance of them getting back together. I can't believe they are giving this issue so much airtime, like anyone cares. Janet says they will be "friends for life" and Jason agrees. An audience member asks about their best memory from the experience. Nathan hogs the spotlight some more by saying it was during the casting special, when he saw his mother for the first time in seventeen years, and got to meet his half-brother for the first time.

Dave finally introduces the Hawaii cast. The clip package features Annoying falling down while surfing, Ruthie stripping and Teck and Ruthie jumping naked into the pool. Tet Girl says she really likes looking at herself. Wonder Bread says they are going to be running a "performance café." Teck is a womanizer. Annoying and Colin kiss. Justin is gay. Tet Girl says that Justin enjoys manipulating people. Justin leaves the house. Ruthie drinks. Ruthie drinks some more. Ruthie drinks a lot. Wonder Bread gets all up in her business, by saying that they are concerned about her. The roommates stage an intervention where they tell Ruthie she has to get help, or leave the house. The clips end and everyone walks out. They look pretty much the same. Colin and Matt are missing in action. Teck is live via satellite from Albany, where he's doing a speech at a college. Dave asks Teck what he's doing these days. Teck says he's finishing up his film, called "Life's Suite," and he works with MTV, and still talks to women. He claims he's "about to blow up." You know, he only has about six more months to say that, before it becomes sad. up is Ruthie, who says she didn't hear any love from Teck, so Dave gets the audience to cheer for her. In an interview, Annoying says she is proud of Ruthie because she's overcome a lot. Ruthie says she graduates from college in May. Some on-screen text informs us that Ruthie's friends call her "Dr. Ruthie" because she "coaches couples on better intimacy." Justin tells us he's back in school at Harvard Law. Dave asks if people look at him differently now. Justin says the show has changed the way he looks at himself. In an interview, Justin says he is "more relaxed, more laid back, and more mature." Justin says his closest friends understood both the good and bad parts of the show and helped him cope. Dave asks Tet Girl, "What are you doing now?" Tet Girl says, "Right now? Sitting here with these beautiful people." Like, ha ha, not. In an interview, Tet Girl says she is looking at herself "from a real perspective" and seeing what "positive influence" she can have on people her age. I think the most positive influence she could have would be to drop out of sight for a long, long time. Dave says he heard she has a poem for them, like clearly this was something set up before the show. Tet Girl acts like she didn't know he was going to ask that, and says she could give him something off the top of her head, but then she wouldn't have the copyright. She offers to give him "poetic verse from [her] brain" and encourages everyone to speak as much truth as possible. Please, don't let Tet Girl ever do the Challenge because I don't want to ever have to listen to her talk again. Teck bursts out laughing and says, "I love you, Kaia!" Kaia finally answers the original question by saying that she is writing now. In an interview, Justin says it's hard to say what's happened to Tet Girl in the past year, but that she has distanced herself from their house and other houses, and he hopes it's a phase because "people miss her and know she's bright, talented and interesting." She is? Annoying is up , and tells us she graduated and is working and leading a private life, when she's not on the Challenge.

An audience member asks Annoying if the whole trip has made her a better, stronger person, like that question wasn't planted. Annoying says she's grown a lot, and that she rated each episode based on whether she would hang out with herself or not that week. Most of the time, she wouldn't. Me neither! Who knew we had so much in common? In an interview, Annoying says she took away a sense of who she is and is still taking time to learn and know who she is. Dave asks her about Colin. Annoying says sarcastically that she never has to talk about that. Annoying needs some lessons in sarcasm because she's just not very good at it. Anyway, we are treated to another endless clip package featuring the "romance" of Colin and Annoying. At one point, Colin says that living with the person he's dating is "overbearing" and we see a clip of Annoying rolling her eyes. After the clips end, Annoying starts to answer, but is interrupted by Teck's mugging on the monitor. She finally says that the last year was a blur for her, and that Colin is not a part of her life, and that she moved on after they all left. In an interview, Teck says that Colin and Annoying's relationship was based on fear, and that they were outsiders in the house (how? In what way?) and so they had to come together. I think Teck read that in a book somewhere because that is so not what happened. Dave says the fans enjoyed watching them, and it was sweet. I don't know what show he watched, but clearly it was not the same one I recapped. Annoying says it was "a lot different than what you saw." Teck makes an obscene gesture on the monitor, and it's blurred out, and everyone laughs. Dave reminds Justin that he wanted to break the couple up, and that he got "all Dangerous Liaisons" for an episode. We see a clip from the India trip, where Justin convinced Colin that Annoying was crazy and not someone he should date. Justin says he echoes Annoying's sentiment about the whole time being blurry, and that he hasn't been in contact with Annoying or Colin since he left, but it's good to see Annoying, Annoying agrees that it's good to see him too. In an interview, Justin says he hasn't given any incidents much thought, but that he would have liked to see Colin because he hasn't since he left the house, and he regrets not talking to him. Annoying tells the audience that the phrase for the night is "moving on." As we go to commercial, we see a clip of the "Matt and Colin Show," from the confessional. It freezes on a really unflattering picture of Wonder Bread and the on-screen text says that they couldn't attend the reunion because Colin is on a new NBC sitcom (MYOB, if you're wondering) and Matt is working on NYPD Blue as a glorified gofer. Well, that was the gist of it.