Previously on The Real World, Kaia got flowers from some guy and then talked about how her dad died of "AIDS and brain cancer" and then said she can't fall in love with a man because her father died and left her. So, we know that this week's episode is going to be about Kaia's quest for love. Hey, I thought it was going to be about their vacation? What the...?
Before I begin, let me just say that this week's episode was so incredibly boring. I'll do the best I can, but there's not much material to work with here. Normally I take about 6 or 7 pages of notes; this week, I took 3. So there you go. Also, I watched this episode with Mary and Molly and I'm totally going to swipe their jokes.
Teck went to an outdoor concert with Pharcyde, Black Eyed Peas and De La Soul. This concert seems to be sparsely attended, but it looked kind of rainy too. Due to Teck's innate coolness, he gets to stand on stage and videotape the concert. Or maybe it's because he's from MTV. I'm not sure. Anyway, one of the members of Pharcyde loves Teck because he's so cool. Or because he's from MTV. One or the other. This band member is named Tre.
Later, Teck and Tetanus Girl are in the van together. Teck has no shirt on and I'm repulsed. Tet Girl has a flower in her hair, and what will become an increasingly ridiculous accessory throughout the show -- a bindi. You know, a dot or jewel in the middle of her forehead, traditionally worn by Indian women. Teck informs us that Tet Girl needs to feel 100% about people and she hasn't found that in Hawaii yet. In the van, Teck asks if "he" called her (with no reference to who "he" is), and Tet Girl says that SHE called HIM. Teck says that she's getting lonely (which translates to "horny" for Teck). In a confessional, Tet Girl says she's really picky.
Back in the van, Teck says that he's there for Tet Girl, and she says that it's a loneliness that only certain people can fulfill (which means, she's horny). Teck says, again, that he's there (which means, he'll do her). Tet Girl says, "You wouldn't be able to handle me." Teck is speechless at the fact that he just got dissed, big time, and all he can say is, "Hey, girl." Good comeback.
Teck tells us that he and Tet Girl went to a club (and we see them walking in) and Tet Girl was talking to Tre from Pharcyde, which we also see. Good thing we have Teck to tell us what we're seeing. Otherwise I wouldn't understand. Teck says Tet Girl was wearing a "hoochie mama outfit," and I'm not sure how this is different from what she wears every day. Must be the bindi. Tet Girl asks Tre if he wants to walk on the beach, and Tre says OK. But it has nothing to do with the fact that he's in a band and she's from MTV. Really. It doesn't.
Justin and Tet Girl go to see the Hawaii portion of the AIDS quilt. Tet Girl says it makes her realize that she's never going to see her father again. Not to be mean, but the guy's been dead for five years and she's just figuring this out? Later, she crouches in a very dramatically lit alcove and cries. My cynical side notes that even when expressing her grief, she takes care to do so in a well-lit fashion in order to look good for the cameras. Justin approaches her, and tells us in a voice-over that he wouldn't presume to give her advice on handling her grief, because he doesn't understand it. Maybe he needs to make like Wonder Bread, and take her out to lunch. That seems to work. Instead, he gives her his lei and she says she feels like she could cry forever.
Tet Girl tells us she doesn't want to have sex because of her fear of AIDS. Justin says they share this fear because they've both seen people die of AIDS. Tet Girl says she has no problem telling someone to get out, and that she's the queen of killing the mood. I would think that would be easy enough for her -- all she has to do is open her mouth.
Justin, Ruthie and Wonder Bread go to Diamond Head. Once there, they decide they need to plan the trip. I'm not sure what climbing a volcano has to do with their trip, but whatever. In a confessional, Colin says he wants to go to Africa (and they already showed this clip once in this episode -- did I mention it was boring?). Teck wants to go to "Beirut, China". Beirut? Annoying wants to go to Japan. WB says it's "all about India." Justin tells them India has this. India has that. "Take me there. I want to go there." Isn't that a song from the Rugrats soundtrack? Plus, he said "all about" again. I'm all about him not saying that anymore. The three at Diamond Head decide on India. WB says, "I really think that we have a lot of pull on this decision being that we hiked to the top of the world to think about it." Oh yeah. Your decision is somehow more valid because you HIKED first. I see where you're coming from.
Tet Girl has been doing a lot of writing. This couldn't possibly be a good thing. We learn that it's definitely not a good thing when we see her do a reading at Local Motion. She's all in black, and wearing her boa, and her poetry is so awful. Justin says she's using her writing to find closure. I hope it's doing something for her, because all it's doing for me is causing repeated vomiting.
Tre is at Local Motion. Tet Girl tells him that she is going to the Big Island for a few days, and she'll be back Sunday night. Tre leaves on Monday. Tet Girl says she would've made him dinner. He says, "How about breakfast?" which I took to be a pickup line, i.e. spend the night with me and then make me breakfast. She either doesn't get it, or chooses to ignore it, and decides to meet him for breakfast Monday morning and he leaves. She tells Pam (the boss's girlfriend) how happy she is, and she's smiling for the first time in her life. In her life? Come on. Let's not exaggerate. Teck says she needs a man to take her mind off her problems. Do you get the feeling Teck is a little too obsessed with Tet Girl's sex life, or lack thereof? Me too.