Shots of everyone lounging around the house, looking unhappy. There's a house meeting coming up, Mohammed explains, where the topic will be "Puck: Will He Ever Shut Up?" Cut to Puck telling someone to shut up. Mohammed is wearing a green sweater and sitting in a red truck, all leaning out the passenger side like he just casually stopped to explain the Puck situation to us, and then he plans on driving off to find a show that might actually showcase parts of his life.
To see the tension leading up to this important discussion, we watch Cory write in her journal. ("Dear Diary, When will Puck fall in love with me? I'm getting so desperate that I'm thinking about walking in on Judd in the shower just to have someone look at me.") Judd and Pedro have a conversation we can't hear. Rachel practices rolling her eyes.
Cory explains to us that she doesn't want to gang up on Puck six to one because it could "create a lot more tension in the house." Cory does that weak giggle thing while she talks, as if she's dismissing her own words as stupid before she even gets a chance to say them.
Pedro plays pool. Rachel sits with a plate of uneaten food in her lap as she eats her fingernail and tells us in a voice-over that she's scared about tonight. She says she doesn't know what's going to happen.
Puck walks around the apartment. The excitement! The other kids watch Puck in the kitchen and discuss the fish tank, all waiting for someone to mention the meeting. Finally someone does, and Puck keeps grinding coffee beans asking whether they meant to say they were "eating" and not "meeting." Everyone asks Puck to join them in the living room, but he asks whether he may finish making coffee first. Then he slowly goes through the process of making coffee while everyone gets increasingly frustrated in the living room. Somehow Pam is both in the kitchen and sitting to Judd in the living room because nobody on the editing staff cares about continuity.
Everyone stares at Puck as he joins them in the living room. Mohammed voice-overs that he's now the "agitator" since nobody else has the balls to talk to Puck. Mohammed tells Puck that they aren't happy with his attitude. Puck interrupts to say that this is the way he's been for years, and that he's not going to change who he is to satisfy some people who have been talking behind his back: "If anything, I'm going to challenge that." Cut to Mohammed in a rugby jersey looking like he's about to get his senior picture taken as he explains to us that they weren't trying to change Puck, but that they wanted him to change his behavior so that they could all live with him. See the difference? Me neither.
Rachel sexes herself up as Mohammed asks Puck why he wouldn't change. Puck says that he doesn't think everyone in the house wants him to behave differently. Mohammed says that everyone in the house wants him to be different. Puck points out that nobody in the house has asked him to change, so unless everyone asks him to, he's not going to do anything. Pam is wearing a hoodie and pouting. Everyone's pouting. Where's that coffee Puck made?
Judd poses for his senior photo with a pink background and says from over his nose, "I was hoping that Puck would actually hear us, for once." Judd asks Puck to be "less abrasive." Puck says it's not going to happen, and that they can all get together and vote him out of the house if they want. Rachel finally speaks up here to say that they don't want him to leave the house. Puck says that he doesn't want to hear whining about his attitude. He tells us that he feels betrayed by them "as friends." He can't believe they were having meetings, while he wasn't there, to decide how they were going to handle "The Puck." I think that talking about yourself in third person is enough reason for anyone to kick you out of a house.
Pedro finally speaks up and says that he needs Puck to respect certain things about him. Puck says that he doesn't agree. He says that if he and Pedro don't like each other, they don't have to be nice to each other. Pedro says that he doesn't like Puck, but that he should respect him anyway. Puck stands up here and puts on his hat as Judd interrupts to voice-over that things weren't going well. He tells us Puck realized right then that the house meeting was only to discuss Puck's attitude, and that there weren't any more issues to discuss. Cory is now on the floor in the fetal position with her cheek on the ground. She has finally found the ultimate way to be a doormat. She has become, simply, a doormat.
Rachel tells Puck that his relationships with people are one-sided. She says it's not really friendship. "Too bad," Puck retorts. They then argue about friends we've never met. Rachel tells us that she hasn't been able to be in the same room with Puck without fighting for about two weeks.
Pedro says his problem is that Puck is antagonistic. He says that Puck doesn't give a shit about him. Puck says that one of them is going to have to move out. Pedro stands up and says that one of them has to move out. Puck asks if he's looking at the back of Pedro's head now, since he's not planning on moving. Pedro is upset, standing and pointing at Puck while he argues, and Puck's not listening. Cory is now looking at Judd. Why? To get Judd to break them up? Pedro's cursing and Puck's telling him to calm down and act like an adult. Pedro calls Puck a "little kid." Pedro slams the counter and says that it's either him or Puck. Pedro leaves and says they have to make a decision before he comes back. Puck admires Pedro for taking a stand. Pedro says that he can't live in the house if Puck's there. Puck tells him to have fun on his way home to Florida. Everyone pouts some more as Pedro leaves. Puck puts a cigarette behind his ear. Pedro storms into the cab that's waiting for him as we fade to commercial.
More pouting. Puck asks whether it's him or Pedro. He says he's not leaving unless they vote him out, and Pedro says that he'll leave either way. Puck says that he'll have fun watching Pedro pack up and go. Cory laughs here because she thinks people will find this funny. Puck says that these are "rad lame circumstances," and shouts that he'll love to watch Pedro go.
"We didn't all see eye-to-eye." Shut up, Judd. Puck asks everyone to take a vote. Pam says that she doesn't want to have to choose between them. Puck says that he doesn't like people to say things they don't mean, and that if Pedro says it's one or the other, then Pedro had better be ready to leave if the roommates choose him. Pam interrupts to say that she knows Puck's like that, but Puck keeps going on and Pam keeps saying she knows that Puck's like that. Puck says that he's not going to change because he likes himself. Pam voice-overs that she realized that they were going to lose everyone in the house who wasn't willing to take whatever Puck dished out. Rachel says that everyone in the house talks about how much they can't stand Puck.
Rachel holds a pillow on her lap and tells Puck that she's tired of arguing with him because he thinks he always has a good point and that she's always being a child. She's tired of her points getting dismissed. I'm going to dismiss her for that giant Janet Jackson bone necklace she's wearing. I think it's a valid reason, don't you? Everyone else is ignoring her squeals anyway. Rachel's still going on to the effect that she always liked Puck and that she was the only one who liked him and that he doesn't give a shit about her: "Puck's right. We suck. Puck rules. We don't." Puck says that he's not going to take any shit. He says that he's going to sit there for another nine minutes while they decide what to do. He gets ready to leave just after eleven. He tells us that he wasn't going to sleep there and listen to them talk all night long. He calls Cory a mouse since she hasn't spoken a word the entire night. Judd's all upset that Puck's leaving, like they're good friends or something. Puck doesn't get to make a clean getaway because Pedro comes back into the house right then.
Pedro tells us that he can't just let things happen around him without expressing an opinion. Puck immediately starts teasing Pedro, and Pam asks Puck to stop. Pedro says that he has a few things to say. Puck's still going on insisting that he's not moving out. Pedro asks people to listen. Puck says that he'll listen. Pedro says that when Puck talks, he doesn't listen. Pedro apologizes for the way he acted. He apologizes for being out of control. He says that he regrets saying that it's either him or Puck, because it's not fair to anyone to have to choose. Pedro says that it's unhealthy for him to live in this environment. "It's not safe," he says. He says that it's not safe for his head. He says that he chooses to get himself out of the environment. Puck stands up and leaves, and we cut to Puck mocking Pedro's accent. Puck burps and packs up his things. Cory tells us that she doesn't think Puck is dangerous, and that she doesn't want to see him go. Mohammed tells us that he doesn't want to deal with Puck anymore. Pedro says that he'll pack up and go tomorrow morning. He wipes his face as everyone tells him he can't just leave, and they order him to sit down and listen. Judd says these words of wisdom: "It took Pedro to snap me out of it and realize that he's not the only one that's unhappy; maybe we all are." Judd, you can't love all of the boys equally. Judd tells Pedro, "Okay. Request denied. You can't leave." Why didn't they just try this tactic with Puck? He'd have been all, "Screw you, bitches. I'm leaving. You're so not the boss of me, fuckos!" Judd says that Pedro can't make this decision tonight. Puck stomps around with his bike helmet. Pam asks Puck to stay in the meeting. Puck says that he has somewhere to go: "Something serious to do." Pam asks for five minutes. Puck tells someone to shut up. He tells Mohammed that he'll meet with him alone tomorrow to discuss things. He says that Pedro cut off his nose to spite his face (his words), and that he doesn't want to discuss it anymore. Puck does have a point: Pedro stormed off while Puck stayed, and now that Pedro's all making these grand decisions, it affects what happens to Puck's living situation. Puck says that he lets go of everything Pedro said to him tonight. He wishes Pedro the best of luck in his life. Mohammed says that Puck only had to say that he'd try, and they'd all be happy. That's such bullshit, by the way. Puck drops his bike in the doorway in some fit, but then he's got it again as he leaves. Everyone pouts.
Pouting. Pouting. Everyone pouts. Pam has to pout on a pool table. Judd says that Rachel, Pedro, and Mohammed don't want to deal with Puck anymore. Rachel says that she doesn't want to kick Puck out of the house. Judd says that he wishes they could work it all out, but he doesn't see how that's going to happen, so he wants to know whether they want to kick Puck out of the house. Cory warbles that Puck was really trying to get along with everyone. She says Puck was telling Pedro that there were things Puck liked about him. Everyone tells Cory she's an idiot until Judd asks everyone to talk one at a time. Pedro talks about himself in the third person, so he should be kicked out as well. Everyone's out. Simple solution. Move on to the season. Cory doesn't want to talk to Pedro because there's no possibility of them hooking up, so she wants Puck back. Pedro says that he thinks he's a nice person and Puck isn't. He says that Puck must be extremely rude for Pedro not to want to deal with him anymore. Cory warbles and whines that she just wanted to say something in Puck's defense since he's not there to defend himself, and then she just apologizes and backs down and stuffs herself back into her little box of pity and sorrow. She's got the spine of an amoeba. Pam has to explain to us that Cory feels like all of her work at getting to like Puck is just going to waste now that he's going to be kicked out. Oh, so sad for her. Cory says that she doesn't want Puck out of the house, but she agrees that nothing will be solved by Pedro's leaving. Judd repeats that he thinks Puck should leave. Then he's all defensive that he's making a vote and a decision. Mohammed says that he'd rather have Pedro over Puck. Isn't Pedro in the room? I'll bet that makes it easier to vote for Team Pedro. Pam says that she didn't want it to be six on one. But now she feels like Puck should go because of the way he acted. Judd uses his good brain to conclude, "If we're making this decision, we're making this decision." Rachel now is completely on her back with a pillow over her torso, whining that she doesn't want to make this decision. On one hand, there's a guy with whom she morally disagrees and who isn't attracted to her, and on the other hand there's a guy with whom she morally disagrees and who isn't attracted to her. Rachel's eyes have no choice but to pop out so far that her tendons are screaming. Rachel says that she has loyalty to Puck, and everyone else rolls their eyes. Rachel sums it up: "God. I. It's very difficult for me to say, 'let's kick Puck out,' because I can't. It's. Uh. I. Uh. I. I don't. Uh." Judd wipes his face with his hand and we cut to Rachel as she mumbles, "I agree." Then she cries and Judd consoles her arm. Rachel says that Puck didn't take them seriously.
Cory cries by Rachel's side as Judd explains that they had to kick Puck out of the house immediately, and that it couldn't wait for the day. Judd asks Rachel for Puck's private phone number. They call Puck and ask him to come back to the house, but he says that he's not coming back to the house just to be kicked out of the house. Point for Puck. Judd panics because Puck's asked him whether he's kicked out. He holds the phone down and asks everyone what he should say. Mohammed talks to Puck and offers send Judd to pick him up. They decide to put Puck on speakerphone and kick him out right then. Cory clutches Rachel like a baby monkey as Judd says that they shouldn't do this over the phone, but that they had to do it immediately so that nobody changed his or her mind. Judd tells Puck that they want him to move out. Puck says that he can't believe they wanted him to come back to the house to kick him out. He calls them petty. He asks whether they thought about his feelings. Rachel shouts, "Puck, I thought about how you felt." Cory starts warbling for Puck to "come home" like he's Lassie or some shit, like talking to his face would solve anything. Hey, Cory, it's not his home anymore. Cory says that it's hard to talk over the speakerphone. Puck says that he feels sick, and that he's done nothing worthy of getting him kicked out of the house. He says that they all just dictated what happens to him. Cory says that Puck was dictating what was going to happen to all of them, and now that he's on the other end of the...oh, forget it. You know what? It's the same argument now for twenty fucking minutes and I'm tired. Aren't you tired? Puck bitches, Cory warbles, Rachel acts like a saint, Pedro's the martyr, Mohammed's indifferent, Judd's indignant, and Pam tries to remember who everyone is. It's boring. It's repetitive. Puck calls Cory a hen at one point, which is pretty funny. Puck says that he's not coming home. Cory says that she loves him. Puck says that he'll pack up later. They hang up. Rachel pouts. Same shot of Pam on the pool table. Same shots of lots of them pouting and consoling. Random shot of Pedro in a suit on some stairs. When did that happen?
Puck rides his bike through San Francisco and tells us that the people left behind in his wake are just casualties. He says that when he rides bikes with his friends, they don't wait up for him. You have to ride as fast or you ride alone. Isn't that deep? Yeah. Everything I ever needed to learn I learned from The Real World. And I'm out like Puck.