Johanna and Wes are still not speaking. The roommates get an assignment to interview each other and create profiles of each other with a partner. The groups are Lacey and Rachel, Melinda and Johanna, and Nehemiah and Wes. The roommates learn that they have an editing bay right inside the house, and they get to use an Avid. Danny unexpectedly returns and apparently unannounced. On his first night back, Wes encourages Danny to go out with the guys, and Danny does so, knowing that it might hurt Melinda's feelings. Instead of, you know, talking about it. Danny is passive-aggressive, and Melinda gets really drunk and a little clingy, but it's fairly understandable. At home, Danny gets concerned that Melinda is drunk and takes care of her. That's love, right?
After the cameras zoom in on the city at night, we cut to the roommates going out on the town. For some reason, Melinda is doing the Macarena. I wish I were kidding about that. Johanna tells Lacey that she's not going to talk to Wes for a few weeks. Wes interviews that he and Johanna are still mad at each other. Johanna announces that she will talk to Wes when he approaches her, and Lacey says that Wes said the same thing about Johanna. I didn't even know that people still do the "I'm not talking" thing after about eighth grade. At what point do you look at yourself and go, "Really? I'm not talking to someone? Like, if I think of something to say, I have to stifle, because of a fight we had, like, a week ago that I don't even really remember?" I guess I just don't take myself seriously enough to stop talking to someone. And frankly, besides my husband, I don't know that anyone in my life would notice for a while if I stopped talking to him or her. Lacey tries to broker a peace, and interviews that you'd think everyone would have learned from Danny's mother's death that the little things aren't that important.
At the ubiquitous Dizzy Rooster, Melinda runs into a dude named TJ that she apparently knows. TJ is having girlfriend troubles, and describes how oftehn they fight. In case you were wondering why in the hell we should care about TJ and his love life, know that it just provides Melinda the opportunity to run down how perfect her relationship is with the still-absent Danny.
Back home, Mel finds a photo of Danny being kissed by two other girls on her nightstand, and shows Lacey. Why would she want a picture of Danny being kissed by two other girls? I mean, I'm sure it was perfectly innocent, but it's still an ever-present reminder of the "groupie" situation, and I'm sure that if he put his mind to it, Danny would be a lot more successful with groupies than Wes was. Although I think the neon cowboy sign could probably get more tail than Wes does. Mel brings the photo out to show the other girls, and talks about how hot Danny is in it. As they have a late-night drunken snack, Melinda props the photo up to her so she can pretend that Danny is eating with them. She even talks to it a little bit, which was actually kind of cute. I know! I take a week off and I get soft.
Rachel and Wes discuss their assignment for work. They have to interview one of their roommates and make a creative short film about that person. Johanna interviews Melinda, as Melinda does a bird dance. I don't know why it's called that, and despite the fact that it may be the most interesting moment of the episode, we don't get any further explanation. But basically, it involves Melinda standing on her bed and making a backstroke swimming motion with her arms. And then doing a sort of "rolling on the river" type motion with her arms while singing a song we can't hear. Johanna interviews that she and Melinda wanted to interview each other because they know the least about each other of all the roommates. When it's Melinda's turn to interview Johanna, she asks about Johanna's heroes. Johanna talks about her great-aunt, who raised her. Another interesting story that we don't get to hear.
Wes asks Lacey whether he can interview her while she's in the closet, but doesn't explain why he wants to do that. Lacey thinks it might give the impression that she's gay, and then says that she thinks the assignment is supposed to involve filming your subject in his or her "element," like they are giraffes or something. Well, sometimes Melinda does look like a giraffe, actually. Wes says that if that's the case, then Nehemiah should film Wes at the bar. Wow, you are a wild man, Wes. What a rebel. A college student who spends a lot of time in a bar. I can see why you got cast on the show, given your unique story and lifestyle. I am prepared to learn a great deal from you.
Despite Wes's suggestion, Nehemiah makes a movie about Wes sleeping, since that's all he does. Wes interviews that he sleeps every day until 7 or 8 at night, and gets up just in time to go out and party. Well, if he goes to bed at, like, noon, that would make sense. But if he's going to bed every night at 3 AM and then sleeping for sixteen hours, that seems a little excessive. And if the whole point of going on this show is for "the experience" (which I've never really understood, by the way), then it seems like Wes is wasting everyone's time. Wes interviews Nehemiah in each of the places that Nehemiah has slept in his house. Wes asks why Nehemiah never sleeps in his own bed, and we don't get to hear Nehemiah's answer, because again, that might actually be interesting. Instead, we hear Nehemiah talk about how he wants to work in video production.
Lacey interviews Rachel about her experiences in Iraq. Instead of bragging, Rachel is just calmly relaying the facts of what happened, and explaining her emotions. And again, it's interesting. But no one is fighting or fucking, so it gets cut off. Lacey explains in an interview that she wants to know that there's more to Rachel than loud, annoying yelling. Rachel says she doesn't want to talk about Iraq anymore, which means that she'll be talking about it a lot more week, I'm sure.
The roommates go to show Paul, their boss, the raw footage they shot. Paul confirms that Danny went home because his mother died, and asks if they know whether Danny will be back. No one knows. They check out Wes's footage first. Paul compliments the composition and color combinations in the shot, and Wes pretends that he planned it. Nehemiah explains why he shot Wes sleeping. Everyone watches Lacey's piece on Rachel, mesmerized. Most of the footage is Rachel talking while Lacey focuses in on various parts of her body, like her mouth, and then her eye, and then her neck. Paul thinks it's a good interview. He tells Lacey that having the camera moving around so much can be "problematic," and suggests that she edit together static shots of Rachel to cut in. Paul tells everyone to start editing his or her footage for week, with the help of some guy named David. Everyone leaves.
David Editor shows up at the house and says he's going to show the roommates where they can edit their footage. They all get up and follow him through the house and discover a previously hidden room that contains all of their editing equipment, as well as office supplies and a little conference table. Rachel interviews that it's awesome. David Editor shows them the Avid system and asks if anyone has experience. Nehemiah does. David Editor tells them to get to know their footage. Rachel interviews that she finds editing confusing, but that she likes it more than running the camera or sound equipment. How can you be confused about editing? I mean, I can understand being confused about the technical aspects of cutting a shot together on the Avid, but it sounds like she's just confused about what editing is or something. Which means that she will absolutely be one of the people on the show who complains about how she was portrayed when she gets out.
Melinda talks to her friend Marcel on the phone about when he might visit. While they are figuring out a good date, Melinda notices on the security camera that Danny is currently walking in the door, and she freaks the fuck out. She tells Marcel to hold on and runs to the door. Did Danny just show up and not tell anyone at all? Did they know he was coming back but not when? Did they not know he was coming at all? This whole thing was very confusing. Almost as confusing as editing.
Danny's back, and he's still wearing his newsboy cap! Some things never change. Melinda gives Danny a huge hug as he walks in the door. She's so busy hugging him that she couldn't even put down her yogurt first. I was really hoping she would spill some of it on that stupid cap, and then we wouldn't have to see it anymore this season, because you know he wouldn't actually do laundry. No such luck. Melinda interviews that she's psyched that Danny is back in their family. Everyone else comes up and gives Danny a hug. Johanna interviews that she never doubted that Danny would be back. Nehemiah and Wes both have to be woken up to greet Danny, and Wes comments that it's a big surprise. Melinda can't stop hugging Danny, but she also can't put her stupid yogurt down for a second. Danny interviews that he hopes that he and Melinda can pick up where he left off.
Everyone makes fun of Wes for being up so early, and Nehemiah explains that they have editing training today. Nehemiah shows Danny the editing bay. Danny interviews that he's really far behind regarding their job, and also that he's scared of using computers, so he doesn't know how he's going to be able to do this job. What current eighteen-year-old is scared of computers? Don't they issue a mouse and a copy of Windows (or the operating system of choice) at birth now? Nehemiah shows Danny some of his footage of Wes, and Danny laughs that Wes is constantly sleeping. Nehemiah juxtaposes a voice-over of Wes talking about all the great things he wants to do in his life with footage of Wes sleeping. That's actually pretty harsh. And funny. I kind of wish Nehemiah was editing the show.
Danny asks Wes what their plan is for tonight. Wes wants to go out to the Dizzy Rooster. Wes interviews that it's his job to cheer Danny up. Danny says that he doesn't know any groupies anymore, and wouldn't even know whom to call. Wes wants it to be a guy's night out, but the girls all want to have dinner together instead. Danny thinks that Melinda would be pissed if they changed the plans. Wes suggests that they do dinner, and then the guys go out alone, and then Danny can come home and have sex with Melinda. Danny agrees to that plan.
Nehemiah and Wes break the news to Rachel about their plans, and claim that it's Danny idea. Rachel says they'll talk about the issue at dinner, but doesn't say whether or not she thinks the "boys' night out" thing is a bad idea. Probably because she's way too busy flat-ironing her hair. I wonder if young ladies today ever use curling irons. Can you blame hickeys on flat irons like you could on curling irons? I'm old.
Wes and Danny leave the house, and Danny says that he's hit a snag with their plans. Wes tries to tell Danny that he should just tell Melinda to fuck off, and go out and have fun while he's young. Wes interviews that he can't badmouth Melinda, because she's his roommate, too. Wes tells Danny to decide what he wants soon. Danny says that he sees Melinda all the time, and that he loves her, but that he needs to experience other things and see what he wants. Danny interviews that he pushes Melinda away sometimes, but he doesn't always want to do that. Wes says that Danny could go out tonight and meet another girl that he'll end up marrying. Danny points out that he could end up marrying Melinda, and then freaks out that he even said those words.
Wes and Danny hang out at the bar. Danny says that he's not going to ignore Melinda, but that he's also not going to hang all over her. Rachel interviews that it's weird that Danny isn't giving Melinda the time of day, since he just got back. The girls discuss what Danny's deal is, and think that he's being rude. Danny tells Nehemiah that he doesn't want to worry about Melinda, and he doesn't want to get attached to her, but he kind of already is.
Melinda comes over and talks to Danny, who ignores her. She keeps asking him if he's tired or angry about something, or if something is bothering him, and he totally ignores her and keeps drinking his beer. Melinda interviews that she's trying to make their relationship work, but that Danny doesn't seem interested. Melinda keeps asking Danny what's wrong, and Danny won't answer her. Melinda worries that something's bothering him, and Danny just sort of rolls his eyes at her and turns away. And then he totally walks out of the bar without even saying goodbye. What a dick. All he had to tell her was that he missed her, but that he wants to have tonight to hang out with his guy friends, and then they can sit down and talk about their situation the day or something. I'm sure she would be cool with that. You know whom I feel bad for? Not Melinda, actually. I feel bad for the other roommates who have to deal with this relationship bullshit instead of just going out and having fun.
And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. You know how sometimes you're just flipping through the channels, and you find one of those home video shows, and you know it's going to be really dumb and/or anticlimactic, but you watch it anyway, because there's nothing else on? So that's sort of how I came to watch Maximum Exposure last week. Apparently, each episode has a theme, and the theme of this episode was drunk people. Given the show I recap, I figured there wouldn't be anything on there I haven't seen, and I was mostly right, but there were a few clips that were awesome. In the first, a really drunk guy gets pursued by a police car – while driving a lawnmower. And he fell off the lawnmower in super-slow motion, and the cops chasing him were just giggling their asses off. So that was awesome. And the second clip was a drunk guy who had been pulled over and he was wearing cutoff jean shorts and no shirt with work boots, just to give you the visual, and the cop must have asked him to perform some part of the sobriety test, and drunk guy picked up a GIANT orange traffic cone, and held it up like a megaphone and just yelled at the cop, "NOOOO!" Come on. Picture a guy using a giant traffic cone as a megaphone. It's funny. But it gets better. The guy in a similar situation took a giant traffic cone and put it on his head. So it came down to, like, his elbows. And then he started doing the field sobriety test as though he totally didn't have a cone on his head. So he was touching his nose and walking a straight line. With a giant cone on his head. So he was really just touching the cone where his nose would be. And he concluded his performance by doing a little dance, and I wish I could demonstrate the dance for you, but just imagine someone who can't lift his arms up much due to having a giant traffic cone on his head shaking his arms about and kind of doing the Twist. Because it was awesome.
The girls talk about whether or not it's time to go. Melinda doesn't want to go home, but she also doesn't want to hang out with the guys when she's not welcome, so they decide to go to another bar instead. Melinda politely says goodbye to the guys, who totally don't care. Rachel interviews that she thinks Melinda is hurt about what happened with Danny, and needs the support of her friends, but Rachel doesn't equate support with doing more shots of tequila, so Rachel leaves the bar. Melinda does a few more shots with Johanna. She interviews that Danny frustrates her. The girls do some more shots, and then leave the bar and start walking down the street, where they run into the guys. Melinda intercepts Danny and asks why he's acting weird, and Danny says that he isn't, and avoids looking at her. Melinda makes the request that, if he has a problem with her, he talk to her about it. He's kind of a dick to her, and she responds by being clingier and keeps trying to pull him aside. They're really, really close to becoming THAT couple, that always gets in fights at parties, probably best exemplified in Say Anything.... You know what I'm talking about. In a confessional, Danny says that it's hard to get through the day without crying or being upset. Melinda finally breaks away from Danny and tells Johanna that she knows she didn't do anything wrong, and that whole thing sucks. Melinda interviews that she wishes that she actually did something wrong, so that she would know exactly what Danny's problem is. It's so sad to me that she blames herself immediately, instead of considering that it might have nothing to do with her. Well, not sad. Self-absorbed, maybe.
Melinda gets home and passes out in bed. Danny and the guys get home and Danny checks in on Melinda. Wes is talking with Nehemiah about someone who drinks too much and Johanna runs around the house and yells that she's an alcoholic. Wes chimes in with some nonsense and they get into a fight, and I'm not sure what it's about. I think it's about whether or not Johanna was talking to Wes specifically when she yelled to the house in general. Wes interviews that he does care about Johanna, but that she's not attractive when she's drunk. Johanna interviews that Wes knows how to push her buttons. Wes wishes he could push her buttons.
While Wes and Johanna continue to argue, Danny tries to wake Melinda up. She doesn't respond. Danny asks Johanna how much Melinda had to drink, and Johanna says that it was a lot. Danny interviews that he's really worried about Melinda because she's "barely breathing." Danny gets Melinda up and helps her to the bathroom and makes her puke. Melinda must be wearing a thong, because her ass is blurred out. And for that, I am thankful. Melinda pukes, and the vomit has barely left her mouth before she starts talking about how much she loves Danny. He picks her up and carries her to bed. Johanna interviews that she thinks Danny is trying to prove that he does care about Melinda. Because nothing says love like waking someone up when she's drunk and telling her to puke, and then carrying her back to bed. It's like you read about in the fairy tales. Johanna gets into bed with Melinda and reports that she's talking to Wes now, as if Melinda cares at this point. I kind of wish Melinda would turn her head to respond and puke all over Johanna. I don't want to see it, though. Maybe for the gross parts of the show, they could animate them or something. Because I would watch that in cartoon form, but I don't really want to see it in actual form. Johanna interviews that she misses talking to Wes, and that she wants their fight to be over.
Johanna finds Wes and says that they should continue their conversation. Danny talks to Nehemiah in the bathroom, and says that seeing Melinda in that state just makes him realize how much he likes her and wants to be with her. Danny takes a wet washcloth to the bedroom and holds it to Melinda's forehead, and then gets into bed to her to sleep himself.
The morning, Danny talks to Melinda about what it was like when he went home for his mom's funeral. Melinda interviews that Danny isn't grieving properly, and that it's easier for him to take his anger and sadness out on her. I don't think she meant to say that he's not grieving "properly," which sounds really bad. I think she means that he's not able to express his grief and other ugly emotions in a healthy way, so it's manifesting as anger toward her. Danny talks about how his mother was dying in the hospital, and scared, and that he wasn't there for her, because he was drunk. Well, that, and he was thousands of miles away. It's not like if he were sober, he would have been there. Melinda assures him that there's nothing he could have done. In a confessional, Danny says that he doesn't want Melinda to waste her time with someone like him, who's depressed all the time, and that he wants her to be with someone who can make her happy and cheerful. That's also sad, and also kind of self-absorbed. But his mom just died, so I'll cut him a little slack. Melinda kisses the tears from Danny's face and comforts him as a piano tinkles sensitively in the background.