Sunrise over Seattle. But no Space Needle. I heard a rumor that I got off-track in the last recap, and screwed up the numbering system, but it has now been fixed. Sorry about that! Anyway, Janet is packing a suitcase and wondering how she ended up with more stuff than she came with. I'm going to guess that she bought some new things? In an interview, Janet says that packing makes her "realize that it's really all over." Suddenly, we cut to Stephen in bed, laughing. Janet asks, "What'd you say?" David is also laughing. Suddenly, Janet has magically appeared in Stephen's bed, and is punching him on the arm. In an interview, Janet says she likes this Stephen better than the old one, and that if they get close to arguing, they stop and laugh at each other. Well, I'm glad that I'm not the only one who's laughing at those two.
Stephen gets dressed and leaves the house. He voice-overs that his anger management sessions have been very positive, even though he didn't think that they would be. The Hip, Squiggly Font (re)introduces Dr. Mauro, who tells Stephen that he's made a lot of progress, and then walks off to cash his check from B/M, who needed that scene for when Stephen goes completely insane so that they could claim that they tried to help him, and that, for all they knew, he was getting better. In a confessional, Stephen says that anger management "is gonna be a lifelong lesson for [him]."
Nathan is on the phone with -- guess who? -- Stephanie. And guess what? She's whining. Stephanie tells Nathan that she has "a bad feeling" about their relationship. In an interview, Nathan says that, for the past few weeks, before they hang up the phone, Stephanie tells him to come home, and that it makes him want to go home very badly. Their relationship is so complex. Not. Back on the phone, Stephanie cries and says she misses Nathan. Man, she could do better.
At the market, David is sad that it's his last day at work. Some big guy tells David that he can't slack just because it's his last day of work. David yells back that he will miss the big guy, and then voice-overs that those guys "are like [his] brothers." Incarcerated? David and some kid dump the contents of a garbage can into a dumpster. The big guy calls David over for a hug, because he's going to miss him. David gives him a hug, and about five other guys sneak up behind David and pick him up, tossing him in the dumpster. Once David is in the dumpster, they all cheer. In an interview, David says that it was crazy. Justin (Janet's date that one time) helps David out. In an interview, David tells us that he knows that those guys would always help him out if he needed it, and that he's going to miss them.
Prepare to stretch the limits of your credulity. Stephen is hanging out with some chick, and he's got his hands on her ass. They go to a café together. Stephen voice-overs that he met this girl, Oruba, at a fraternity party, and that she's "so sweet, so beautiful, just nice therapy for a man whose bones are aching." I think he read that in a book somewhere. Stephen tells Oruba that he's "tired and exhausted." Probably from keeping up the charade that he likes girls. Stephen says that he needs to apologize to someone named Erica at the radio station. Oruba asks whether Stephen did something to Erica, and Stephen says he did something that offended her. Flashback to The Slap, because, you know, we probably forgot that happened in the few weeks between when that episode aired and this one aired. I mean, it's not like it was shocking or memorable or anything. In an interview, Stephen says that Erica was the driver of Irene's getaway car, and that she was mad at him, so he wants to apologize to her. So it was Erica, not Franni, who was driving the car.
Stephen and Oruba enter the radio station. Stephen finds Erica and asks her what she's doing for lunch. She tries to blow him off by explaining that she usually eats at her desk. Stephen says that he wants to talk to her in person, and that he'll catch up with her tomorrow. Erica is totally laughing at him. In an interview, Stephen explains that his anger management counselor told him that "an apology is like a gift," and that if you value a friendship, you will give a friend an apology as a gift, and he or she can take it or leave it. Well, duh. Who doesn't know that? Meanwhile, Stephen stands outside Erica's office and stares at her like a scary stalker.
Stephen and Oruba are out with a group of people in a bar somewhere. Stephen is playing pool, and tells us in a voice-over that some guy pushed him from behind. An altercation breaks out. Stephen tells someone that he will "roll [his] ass up like a joint." What does that even mean? The pusher guy must have left, because Stephen walks over to Oruba and another girl outside the bar, and the fight appears to be over. But then Stephen's friends encourage him to go back into the bar and get into a fight. Or something. It's not really clear what's going on. And they're wasting the last episode on this story? So we go to commercial, not knowing whether Stephen threw any punches.
Oh yeah. Remember how they have a radio show? I had forgotten. In an interview, Lindsay explains that it's their last show. In an interview, Nathan says that he's having a good time doing the show, and that he doesn't want it to end. Nathan, Lindsay, and Janet brainstorm how they are going to announce to the listeners that it's their last show, since they weren't allowed to say that they were on The Real World. They decide to pretend they are moving to Puerto Rico to start a show called Rico Rock. Good one. Lindsay blathers about what a valuable experience it has been. The show begins, and Lindsay explains the Puerto Rico thing. In an interview, Lindsay says they've lied about everything else on the air, so why not this? Janet tells the listeners to call in and say what they've thought of their radio show. Some guy calls in and says it sucks for him, because he only listens to the station for their show. That has to be a prank call. It's totally one of the producers on the other line. In an interview, Lindsay says it's weird that people were calling in to say that they liked the show. Lindsay says that she's getting sad. Nathan gives props to Stephen and David for their interviews. Janet gives "some credit" to Rebecca as producer, and to Tony as executive producer, like he wasn't carrying the show. Fucking on-air talent. So ungrateful. Nathan reminds everyone to check them out if they are ever in Puerto Rico. The show, mercifully, ends.
The gang, including Tony and Phil, goes out to eat after the show. Nathan asks Phil what his most memorable moment from the experience is. Phil says it's after hearing the first show. Flashback to Lindsay screwing up, and Tony rescuing her. Phil says that the show improved, and that it was a good feeling. Nathan says that they got to do what most kids their age only dream about doing. It's time for the flashback montage. Janet discovers that they're going to work at a radio station. The roommates meet Phil. Everyone dances onstage at a concert. Rebecca sings at the concert. Everyone does radio-type things in the studio. In an interview, Janet says that it was "ten million times deeper of an experience than [she] imagined." Everyone thanks Phil. In an interview, Stephen says that everyone was feeling sad. Really? I didn't get that the first ten times they told me. Phil hugs everyone. Nathan voice-overs that "the radio show did turn out to be a big group effort," and that "it wouldn't have worked if everyone was individuals [sic]." Well, we knew that Janet wasn't an individual, but it's nice to get confirmation that none of the rest of them were either.
Space Needle Shot #78. There's more transportation, too, but I'm ignoring it. The song on the soundtrack says, "Time is winding down!" It's so nice of the editors to give us these subtle hints.
An alarm clock goes off. Lindsay's hand reaches out to shut it off, but she realizes that it's not her alarm. She tells Janet to turn off her alarm. In an interview, Janet says that she "would never have made it through these five months without Lindsay." Yeah, no kidding. Janet wakes up more fully and tells Lindsay that it's the last time they can talk to each other in the morning, and that she'll miss Lindsay's stinky ass. They both giggle.
In the boys' room, David wakes up and rubs the sleep from his eyes. Nathan says, "There's no place like home," and knocks his heels together while still in bed. David helps Janet carry some boxes into the hallway. Lindsay shows Janet a picture of her dad. In an interview, Lindsay says that she has changed, and that she's able to talk about things that she couldn't before. Lindsay shows Janet a picture of Suicide Bill.
Stephen says that he's learned a lot from this experience. Yeah, he's learned that he can act like a dick and all will be forgiven with little to no consequences. Stephen claims that if the situation with Irene happened today, he would say, "You know Irene, I'm sorry you feel that way, and I wish you well in life." So not true, but whatever.
Irene's stuffed dog, post-swim, sits on the counter. Rebecca walks up and puts a flower to it, like a memorial service. Nathan does the same. Stephen does the same, with a chuckle. Stephen tells everyone that "this is very symbolic," and that they are "putting a bad situation to rest."
Lindsay takes a deep breath and looks around at all the bags and boxes sitting in the house. Outside, Janet says, "GAAAAHD, you guys, we just got here!" Rebecca pauses, and dryly says, "No, we didn't." In an interview, Rebecca says that it was hard, but that it's been fantastic. The girls look out over the water, and Lindsay comments that they couldn't have had a better house. Everyone gathers up his or her bags and boxes, and they all exit the house. As they close the door to the house for the final time, Janet makes a comment about the "mouse [they] never caught, that got bigger and bigger and had millions of babies."
David exits the house. In an interview, David says he's glad he did it, and that he would go back and do it again, but that he wouldn't say "about five thousand things that [he] said." David laughs. Ah, David. I'll miss your drama. Stephen exits the house last, and pulls the door shut behind him. In an interview, Rebecca says that it's like "the team is breaking up," and that you identify yourself with your roommates, and that when they all go their separate ways; it feels like losing your identity. Dude. They knew each other for three months. Let's not get silly. A coach arrives to take them to the airport. Nathan remembers that the last time they were on a bus, they were going to Nepal. Lindsay voice-overs that she's going to miss these people. Lindsay and Stephen hold hands on the bus. At the airport, everyone looks glum. Nathan checks his snowboard at the curb.
David tells Lindsay that he's getting used to saying goodbye, but that this one was hard. David says, "I'm going to miss yous like anything." Rebecca's flight is called. In an interview, Rebecca says that she likes Stephen, even though she thinks he has some problems. Rebecca hugs and kisses everyone goodbye and walks to her plane, wiping tears from her eyes.
David comments to no one in particular that Stephen is "wrecked" and that he's "going to crack the hell up." In an interview, David says that Stephen is "bumming" because he doesn't know what his situation will be when he gets home, with both his fraternity and his mother. The editors use a blues song over this whole airport montage, and it is about ten million times more effective than the usual crap music they use on this show. I'm actually a little sad. David walks over to Stephen and pulls his jacket over both their heads to have a private conversation that is totally picked up by his mike. David tells Stephen that it will get better.
Lindsay and Janet hug. In an interview, Lindsay says that she's let Janet get closer to her than anyone has been in a long time. They say goodbye, and then laugh, knowing that they will see each other soon. In an interview, Lindsay says that she didn't expect to find a friend like Janet in the house, and that she's lucky. Lindsay kisses the boys goodbye and walks to her plane.
David hugs Nathan and Stephen goodbye. David praises Stephen because he "told her how it was," and advises Stephen to "take care of [himself] and don't get crazy." David continues with this advice: "Keep your head, bro. Keep your haaaht. Don't get too nuts." David walks off. In an interview, David says he's glad it's over, but that he'll miss a lot of things. For example, the "whirlpool," which he only peed in once. That's my boy. Tons of class.
Nathan cries and tells Janet that it was fun, and that he doesn't want to go. Janet reminds him that he loves Stephanie. Nathan then completely changes his tune and says that he can't wait to get back and devote time to Stephanie, and to getting things back the way they were. In an interview, Janet says that Nathan has "this really tough exterior," but that he's "just a teddy bear inside." Nathan hugs Stephen and Janet, and then boards his plane.
Stephen's pager beeps. There's a message from Oruba, saying that she wanted to see him one last time, and that she cares a lot for him. Janet thinks Oruba is a sweetheart. Stephen says that he could really fall for her. Janet asks what's stopping him. Her lack of a penis? Oh, he wants her to see the show first. Janet and Stephen hug goodbye and tell each other that they are beautiful. Stephen cries and walks to his gate. In a confessional, Stephen says that his happiness comes from being alive, and that he survived the experience. Janet watches Stephen get onto his flight, and then gets on the escalator carrying a big walking stick. She reaches the bottom and walks around the corner out of sight.
And what is the final shot of the season? The Space Needle. Shot #79, and the final one of the season, but it's a long one. I still maintain that it got more screen time than Rebecca. And I'm done. Whew!