David and Lindsay are lying on a bed somewhere. Apropos of nothing, David says that he has a friend who is spending his life in jail for "murder and armed robbery." Lindsay asks whether the friend murdered someone, and David replies that he didn't, but he got "pinched for it." David is like a character in a '40s detective novel or something. Who says that someone got "pinched"? David, that's who. ["People in GoodFellas did, too, and that mostly took place in the '60s and '70s. Maybe it's a mob thing." -- Wing Chun] In an interview, David says that his friend is spending his life in jail. For those of you who missed it the first time he said it, less than a minute ago. Lindsay asks whether David has other friends in jail, and David says that "mostly all of them" are. Lindsay asks how David has escaped that, and David says, "Grace of God." David is so Good Will Hunting that it hurts. He was Good Will Hunting before there was a Good Will Hunting. In an interview, David says, "That little turn that you take, and I could have took it [sic], and I was halfway around the turn, and for some reason, man, I just kept it straight." David shakes his head sadly, as if wondering how he turned out so freakin' awesome. Lindsay asks David what kind of trouble he got in, and David says he could probably get in trouble just for talking about it. Ooh, he's bad-ass.
Three shots of the city of Seattle and no Space Needle! A new record, I think. At the fish market, David catches a fish, and Rachel Dratch from Saturday Night Live yells out, "You're retaaahhhhhded." Okay, so it's really David's friend Shannon, who yells out, "Excuse me, Mr. Eurotrash!" David takes a break to talk to his friend from home. She brays at him that he stranded her at the airport. He gives her a big hug and asks if he smells. She tells him that he "smells like a pussy." Okay, despite Shannon's rough exterior, I like her. I can't help it.
Nighttime. Space Needle Shot #58. At the house, Stephen is talking to his mom on the phone, who says that she is "due any day." In an interview, Stephen says that when he found out his mom was pregnant, he was upset because "she didn't plan again." On the phone, Stephen asks his mom whether she's still going with the name "Sade," and she says that she is. In an interview, Stephen explains that his mom is forty-three years old, and at that age, "it's very, very hard for a woman to have a healthy baby." Be that as it may, I think his mom has survived in this world long enough to be able to take care of herself, and Stephen's attitude kind of bugs me.
Stephen and Janet play pool. Stephen complains that his mom worked a lot of jobs to afford school and get a better job. In an interview, Stephen says that his mom worked hard, and that meant that she wasn't around to help him with his homework or talk to him. I'm even more impressed that he turned out to be such an "academian," knowing that. Stephen tells Janet that his dad was never around and he had "lots and lots of guys in and out of [his] house." Stephen says that his mom gave those guys "total authority over [him]" and talks about one in particular who, when Stephen "spilled wine on a beige carpet," bent him over a hamper and whipped him with an extension cord. Stephen doesn't understand how his mom could let that happen if she "really cared." Sheesh. No wonder Stephen is so messed up. Would someone get this kid some therapy? Oh, wait -- that comes later. Janet twirls her hair and nods. In an interview, Janet says that she would have "no idea how to be [Stephen]" and that she hasn't "gone through half the stuff he has gone through."
Monorail! Monorail! Monorail! Sorry, every time they show it, I feel a need to break into that song from The Simpsons. Ah, Phil Hartman. We still miss you. ["'The ring broke off my pudding can!' 'Use my pen knife, my good man!'" -- Wing Chun] Anyway, David is at the radio station, recording some "new music reviews." Tony, their long-suffering show producer, listens to David's recording and then talks some radio talk that I don't understand. David splits. Lindsay, Janet, and Irene do their show, reading from their scripts, which is so, so lame. I'm not saying that they shouldn't plan out their show, but it's so obvious that they're reading from a script. Janet introduces David's review, and Rebecca starts the cart, but it's all screwed up. They all look at each other, helplessly. Tony comes in, and Rebecca explains that the problem is with David's "disk" (it was a cart, but whatever). Tony starts playing a song. Tony explains that David didn't erase the cart before he recorded his review, and that caused the screw-up. In an interview, Janet says that she thinks David is "uninterested in the whole radio station." Rebecca tells Tony that David had a bad day. Tony points out that having a bad day doesn't give you a free pass at the workplace. Too true. Tony says that he's going to call David, because if David doesn't "pull his weight," then Phil (the program director) will have to talk to him. Didn't Phil already talk to David when he skipped out on the ski trip to stay in bed with Kira? ["Yep." -- Wing Chun]
Nighttime. Space Needle Shot #59. David, Nathan, and Shannon are getting ready to go out. Nathan calls Shannon "tourist," and asks whether she's bringing her camera. Shannon curses at Nathan, who calls her a "project mother." In an interview, David explains that Shannon is "one of the guys." Shannon tells Nathan to shave, because he looks like "a sixteen-year-old trying to look old-ah."
A mirror ball. Shannon dances in a bar. In an interview, David says that Shannon has an energy that gets people going, and the whole bar started to pick up when she was there. Shannon mock-yells at some guy, "Take the hint! I don't like you! You're a lose-ah!"
Back at Pier 70, Janet is on the phone with Kira. Kira's still calling the house? Wuh? We only get to hear one sentence from Kira, so it's impossible to know what they're talking about, but I think Kira is upset that David is not home and it's 3 AM; however, she knows Shannon is in town. Nathan and David are standing outside a bar having an intense discussion with some other gentlemen. In an interview, David says that when guys walk out of bars, they always bunch up and threaten each other because "testosterone's flying everywhere." One of Nathan's and David's friends starts shoving Another Guy, and Nathan starts yelling. Shannon starts pushing Another Guy backwards, like she's trying to break it up. In an interview, Nathan says that he was "trying to hold people back." He's totally not, by the way. Shannon grabs Another Guy's face, and he pushes her off of him. David takes this opportunity to slug Another Guy right in the face, and then in the side of the head. In an interview, David says that Another Guy pushed Shannon, so David "knocked him out right here." We see David beating the crap out of Another Guy. [A semi-brawl starts. In an interview, Nathan says, "Nobody wants to see a lady get hit, especially if she's one of David's friends." Okay, first of all, I think Shannon can probably take care of herself. Second of all, Another Guy didn't hit her -- he just pushed her off him. And third of all, shut up, Nathan, with your chivalrous ass. Admit that you were just looking for an excuse to get in a fight because you were drunk. The brawling continues. A police car approaches, sirens on.
The cops arrive and try to sort out the mess. David wanders across the street alone. Nathan points at someone and says, "He started it." Some other guy walks up to David, who says that Another Guy "touched my girl, so I knocked him out." David gives his version of what happened, which is basically that Another Guy came up to him and was pushing and shoving Shannon, so he threw him against the wall and told him not to hit girls, because it's disrespectful. While David says this, we see what really happened, as I described above, and note that David did a lot less talking and a lot more punching than he recounted in his version of events. David says, "People get drunk in bars and they want to prove something, like something's going to be gained from fighting." Um, hello? Not that Another Guy was completely innocent, but David was the first to throw punches. You know, my older brother and his friends used to do shit like this all the time, and I just do not understand it. Maybe I need more testosterone to get it. I don't know. I don't see where fighting is fun, ever. As we see David talking to a cop, he voice-overs, "It's funny; when people think they're going to get in trouble, they start to lie their ass off." Yeah, you'd know, dude.
Back at Pier 70, Shannon asks David if he's mad at her, because she thinks the fighting was her fault. David says that he's not. She wants to see his hand, because she thinks he might need an x-ray. David voice-overs that Shannon has "always been loyal." David tells Irene that Shannon is a nurse, so she can check him out. Shannon looks at David's hand, and then examines a scrape on his knee, telling him to bend and straighten his leg. He asks why she's "trying to be June Cleaver." Shannon says it's all her fault.
David is on the phone with Kira, telling her how he got in a fight with four guys. He explains that when someone touches the people he loves, he just has a reaction and he doesn't mean to do it. And Stephen's the only one with anger management problems? David says that Another Guy lost his two front teeth, and he has the teeth marks in his hand. Kira sighs and asks why David is "saying this like it's glamorous or something." Kira tells him that he has to stop fighting. David says that he thought those days were behind him, and promises to stop. In an interview, David says that he's not perfect, and that "you make so much progress, and then you digress [sic], in a haaahtbeat, just like that." Then, he solves a mathematical equation on a blackboard in the hallway, even though he's just a janitor.
Stephen, David, and Nathan get into the radio-station van. Stephen is going to meet an uncle he has never met before, and he's nervous. In an interview, Stephen explains that he didn't know he had any uncles, but they called him; they all agreed to meet at the fish market. Shannon asks how his uncles found him. Stephen explains that his father knows Stephen is in Seattle; his father talked to his uncles, and they called him up. Stephen hopes that his uncles don't start defending his father, because he "won't be having it." In an interview, Stephen says (again!) that he's nervous because he doesn't know where these guys are coming from.
At the fish market, Stephen meets Freddie and Greg, his uncles. They shake hands. They get some food and sit down. Stephen explains that he's seen his dad a total of three times, and he can't understand his father's circumstances. His uncles commiserate with him. Stephen doesn't understand how "that could happen." I'm not sure what he's talking about here. This conversation is so edited, and I'm not sure whether they were uncomfortable talking about it on camera, or if the editors are just nimrods. One uncle says that the first time he heard about Stephen's existence was when Stephen was in college. In an interview, Stephen says that it makes him feel worthless, that his dad didn't tell his brothers that he has a son. Stephen says that he's not upset because his mother "stepped up and raised [him]." In an interview, Stephen says that he loves his mom because he's realizing how hard it was for her to raise him without a father. Stephen's emotions sure do swing wildly, don't they? He's gone from hating his mom to loving his mom in about ten minutes. Or that could just be editing.
In an interview, Rebecca says that David is a bullshitter. In an interview, Janet says that you can't believe a word David says, although she does sometimes, even though she shouldn't. Rebecca, Janet, and David sit on the couch. Rebecca tells David that she takes every word he says "with a grain of salt." Someone else is involved in this conversation, but she is off-camera, so I can't tell who it is. David asks the girls whether they "honestly think that" he lies. Janet and Rebecca (and the mystery person) all say yes. Janet adds that he "embellishes the truth." In an interview, Janet says that David is "a used-car salesman." Irene makes her first appearance of the episode, practically, saying in an interview that "the kid is a bullshit liar." David walks over and tells Irene (who must have been the mystery person) that he doesn't find it comical. The girls protest that they didn't mean it as "a mean thing." David starts saying that his school sees honor as such a big thing. In a confessional, David says that they "live by a different code." I'll say. He's not worried that he's been caught on camera drinking to excess, fighting, or sleeping with Kira, but he's worried that some of his roommates called him a liar? David continues saying that, at VMI, they give up "the privilege to lie and be dishonest." David tells the girls not to call him a liar, unless they're kidding around. The girls can't believe how seriously he's taking this. David dramatically says that Rebecca "saying that stuff puts [him] in question." David points and says, "So don't fuck around." The girls are like, "Whatever, dude," although they don't say it out loud because they want David to stop pointing at them.
When we return from commercial, the girls are still lying around looking annoyed with David. Rebecca can't understand what David was getting so upset about. Irene takes David's side. In a confessional, Rebecca says that she doesn't like it when people get angry. Rebecca walks down to David's bedroom and tells him that she wants to talk, because she feels horrible. David comes out into the hallway to talk, and he's not wearing a shirt -- hubba hubba! David explains to Rebecca that he and Nathan have this code at VMI, and people don't understand it unless they go there. Suddenly, Irene is standing there, too, as David explains that "your word is your bond and your word is everything there." I'm too distracted by the fact that he's got one hand pulling down his shorts to reveal his scary hipbones to listen. Rebecca says that she has "no question of [his] integrity." David says that it's not her; it's how things could be perceived. He explains that people have been prosecuted by the school for things they did at home. Rebecca says that it makes her nervous to have that kind of power over his future. David notes that they've never seen him "with a stern face before," but that's how serious it is. Is this whole episode really worthy of this subplot? Clearly, they're just marking time until the "Irene loses it" episode. Everyone goes to bed.
Space Needle Shot #60. David is meeting with Phil, the radio station director. Phil questions whether David is doing enough work for the show, and whether he's putting in a quality effort when he is there. David admits that they both know he's been called in because his work is sub-par at best. In an interview, David says that "it was obvious with everyone" that he wasn't doing his best. Phil suggests that David is "stretched too thin" between working at the fish market and "having fun." David says that's true. Phil tells him that he needs to be around more, and asks David whether he's "willing to rededicate [himself] for the four weeks." Of course, David says yes, even though I think this is about the last time we'll see him in the radio station this season. David and Phil shake hands, and David leaves. "Used-car salesman" indeed.
Back at Pier 70, Stephen calls the hospital where his mom is and finds out that she's currently having a C-section. Stephen is kind of freaked out at this news, because he didn't know. He asks the woman at the hospital whether she can take a message, like, what is she, your secretary? She can't take a message. Stephen gets pissed, and then his roommates start making all this noise, and he yells at them to be quiet. In an interview, Stephen says that when his mom gave birth to his brother, she almost bled to death, so he's worried. Stephen asks the woman at the hospital how long the surgery will take, and she doesn't really have an answer. Stephen is angry and worried.
Stephen is crying in his bedroom; Lindsay comforts him. Lindsay says that his mom has had babies before, and she pulled through, and that it will be fine. Stephen tells her that, earlier, the baby's heartbeat "almost flatlined." Where did he get this information? From the woman at the hospital? This whole subplot is very confusing to me. Why didn't anyone call him to tell him his mom was in the hospital? Why didn't he arrange to be there if he's so worried? I don't know. Stephen cries some more, and Lindsay comforts him some more.
David is at the radio station, on the phone. He's complaining that the other kids in the house don't have anything to do but work at the radio station, but he has two jobs, so it's harder for him. I don't think anyone made him get a job at the fish market. My guess? Beer money. In an interview, David says that he has "a passion" for the fish-market job. Whatever. He's worked there for, like, two weeks. David tells the person on the phone that he's "not going to whine about it," but he'll just do what he has to do. Except for right now. When he's whining. In an interview, David says that he knows he's not pulling his weight with the radio show. On the phone, David says that he's going to "kick it up a notch." Whatever, Emeril.
David walks to the radio station as he voice-overs that he's going to do his best. At the station, David talks to annoying Aubbie about his homework. It's not really clear what's going on here. I think David is supposed to interview some band and the people who really work at the station are worried that he didn't do his homework and will ask stupid questions, thus embarrassing the station. This must have been after the "Stephen interviews Tad from Sub Pop" débacle. Fastball sings "The Way" at the station. David reviews his questions with Aubbie. The first one is whether the band members would give it all up to be porn stars. Aubbie smirks. The performance concludes, and David asks the band his questions. They're decent questions. In an interview, David says that he wasn't taking advantage of this opportunity to be creative. As an example of "creative," David asks the band who they would eat first if the band was in a plane crash. The groupies laugh. I wonder if bands enjoy those silly questions, as a change of pace, or find them annoying. To me, they always seem designed to show how clever the interviewer is, when the focus should be on letting the band talk.
Stephen plays pool and worries. The phone rings. Irene answers and calls Stephen over. The Hip, Squiggly Font of Character Introduction (tm Djb) tells us that Stephen's sister is on the other line. She tells Stephen that his mom had a nine-pound, eight-ounce baby, and mother and baby are doing fine. Stephen is overjoyed, noting that he knew his mom would "have a damn adult." That is a pretty big baby. Stephen is very relieved and happy. He hangs up and tells his roommates, who cheer and hug him, including Irene. In an interview, Stephen says, "Sade Celeste is in the family now."
Back at the station, David shakes hands with the members of Fastball, concluding his interview. Aubbie is smiling instead of smirking now. In an interview, David says that he "would have never pictured [himself] in this position." David gets his picture taken with the band. He could have washed his hair, at least. Or combed it. Or wrung it out and cooked some fried chicken with it. It's greasy. That's what I'm getting at here.