Now we move on to Theo, who also holds his mike in a distracting manner. He holds the speaking end right up to his mouth and the opposite end sticks up in the air, like, I expect him to start going, "Throw your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care." Theo says that he and his brothers have started a company called Royal Family Entertainment. Because McFayden sucks as an interviewer, we don't get to find out what this company does, or how Theo got the idea, or what they have done so far.
Instead, we move on to Aneesa. She is working as a waitress in a cocktail bar. That much is true. But even then she knew she'd find a much better place, either with or without you. There are a few obvious cuts, so she must have talked for a while and they edited it out. Aneesa says she's trying to save up money for school, and that she and her mom love each other and have a great relationship.
McFayden asks CJP if she's still singing, like, don't encourage her, dude. CJP says that she also moved to LA, but she hasn't had as much success as Kyle. That is so sad. Kyle tries to denigrate his own success by ripping on Passions and I know I said earlier that no casting directors watch this show, but I hope now that they do and they just blacklisted Kyle for being an asshole who's unwilling to pay his dues as an actor. CJP says that she's in St. Louis this summer for a bit visiting her parents.
, Tonya reveals that she and Justin broke up. Suddenly, CJP's hair is up in a bun as they cut to footage of her nodding in agreement. Tonya says that she's "taken a step back and realized that there's a lot [she] wants to change about [herself]," and she wasn't doing that with Justin. Tonya throws out the platitude that she can't love Justin if she doesn't love herself. Tonya concludes that she has a lot to change about herself.
During a clip package about fights, we see insets featuring the roommates reacting to the clips being shown. Mostly, they laugh and celebrate, but Tonya looks sad when they show Theo yelling at her in the van. The package concludes with Tonya bitching to Chris about Theo, and when we rejoin the roommates, Aneesa finishes the sound bite by yelling out that she's going back to Walla Walla. Tonya laughs and looks embarrassed. McFayden asks Tonya if she thinks she was portrayed accurately. Tonya pauses and says, "Unfortunately, probably." He asks Aneesa and Tonya if they are friends now. Aneesa says that they got close near the end, but when she watches it, she can't believe the things Tonya said behind her back. Aneesa feels that she was always honest about her feelings toward Tonya, but she stops short of saying that Tonya wasn't. But you know that's what she's getting at. Let the Tonya-bashing begin! McFayden asks Theo and Aneesa about their fights in the beginning. Aneesa says that they fought in the beginning, but then they realized how similar they were, so their fights never lasted very long.
Now it's time for an audience member question. A lady named Megan says that Theo seemed to stay cool and stay out of conflicts (he did?), and she wonders if there were times that he struggled with keeping his mouth shut. Is she sure she didn't mean to direct that question at Chris? Because Theo certainly did get involved in some conflicts, most notably with Tonya and Aneesa. Theo says that he doesn't like to get involved in issues unless he is invited to. He brings up "Chris's gay thing," and everyone laughs at his terminology. Theo says that he's not going to pry into people's business, and that he never said that he hated gay people. Which is true -- he just said that "dudes is disgustin'." They show that clip, and Theo concludes that he doesn't agree with homosexuality, but he still has love for Aneesa and Chris. I still don't understand the whole "love the sinner, hate the sin" concept, but if I get started on that, I'll be here for about twenty-five more pages, and no one wants that. Least of all me. Theo says that he stayed out of the Kyle and Keri situation, because it wasn't his business. McFayden promises that after the break, we'll get into the Kyle and Keri situation and other hookups.
McFayden says that he's going to talk about getting naked, an area in which the Chicago cast didn't disappoint. We get a clip package of CJP hooking up with Blur Head Todd, and various other people. In an inset, CJP peeks through her fingers, ashamed. Aneesa hooks up with Feminem, and then kicks her out of the house, then hooks up with Danielle. Theo dances with some ladies, and invites them back to the hot tub. Chris kisses Kurt and then tells Kurt to kiss off. McFayden calls upon CJP, who says it's frustrating in the way that it's all put together. McFayden supplies that she doesn't want to come across as a slut, and she sarcastically thanks him for saying that. He stammers and tries to backpedal, and CJP says it's confusing, because she knows there's nothing wrong with being a young, single woman and being sexual. No, there's not. But there is something wrong with saying that you just want sex when what you really want is attention and affection. Not wrong, actually. Just dishonest. CJP says that there's a stigma, which is also true, then asks if she really said "land the deal," trying her old trick of being self-deprecating to minimize the damage. Tonya says that most of what took place in CJP's bedroom was fairly innocent, and Tonya would know since she shared that room.
We move on to Aneesa, who says that there's peace now, and that she forgives but doesn't forget. She says that Feminem called her and asked her to come to Chicago, and Aneesa says that it was awkward, but at least she got some closure. McFayden -- who obviously didn't really watch the show -- asks Aneesa if she was dating two girls at once. Aneesa says that LaTonya was her comfort, and Danielle was the challenge. Tonya asks Aneesa if she was with both of the women, and Aneesa really bitchily says, "No, she was my friend."
McFayden wisely moves on to ask Chris about Kurt. Chris says that Kurt is a great guy, but that Chris didn't want a relationship and Kurt did. Chris says that he's single now, and looking for Mr. Right. Theo says that he did his dirt outside and didn't bring it back to the house. McFayden says that he figured Theo was a choirboy and, after the hot-tub incident, didn't hook up. Aneesa laughs at that. Theo says that he loves women too much to disrespect them on camera.
Now we see the Keri-and-Kyle clip package. If you're reading this recap, I'm sure you know the progression. They were attracted to each other, they flirted, they admitted that they liked each other, and they kissed. Kyle was still hung up on Nicole, even though he was humping Keri in her bedroom. Keri got sick of Kyle's double-talk and kicked him to the curb. Keri thought CJP was attracted to Kyle and vice versa. In the inset, they show Keri mouthing, "That's bullshit." I'm not sure if it's bullshit that she thought they were attracted to each other, or if it's bullshit that Kyle claimed he wasn't attracted to CJP. Then they show the big fight where Keri accused Kyle of trying to promote his "political career." There was some debate over that on the forums, and I think when she said "political career," she wasn't referring to Kyle actually going into government. I think she meant that Kyle had a carefully crafted image to present to the camera, and he didn't want anything said on camera that might hurt it. McFayden asks Kyle if he played Keri and used Nicole as an excuse not to get close. Kyle says that he tried to be upfront about his feelings for Nicole, but maybe he should have been clearer. He admits that part of the problem was that he was really attracted to Keri. Keri steps in and says that their relationship wasn't as big a deal as the cameras made it out to be. McFayden asks if Keri ever felt played, and Keri says that it only happened one time, and they talked about it, and it was shown on television. McFayden brings up the fighting at the end of the season, and the way Kyle was complaining about Keri always being around. Kyle says that none of them could stand each other by the end, and it was stressful always being under the microscope.
McFayden tries to ask a question and this is what comes out: "Keri and, uh, Cara. You guys were...seemed like you...that there was...a lot of jealousy was there." Was that a question? Good one. Keri says that she doesn't think it was jealousy. The only thing that bothered her was people talking behind her back, and the people who did were Kyle and CJP. McFayden starts to launch into another question instead of following that up, because he sucks, but he's saved by CJP pretending she doesn't know what Keri's talking about. Keri brings up Kyle making a shooting gun motion and making faces behind her back in the confessional. Keri says it pisses her off that CJP said Keri would be offended if CJP asked Kyle out to dinner. They show the clip where CJP says that Keri would consider it a betrayal. CJP says that she always invited Keri to hang out. Keri says it was because she was the only one left in the house, since everyone else knew people in Chicago. CJP says she doesn't get it. Keri says that there are things said in the episodes that CJP never said to Keri's face, and she's upset that CJP told the other roommates and not her. Keri says that everything she felt, she told CJP to her face. Keri concludes that it boils down to there being two very similar personalities (Kyle and CJP) and one very different personality, and Keri likes where she is. Wow. Keri has some serious anger. Maybe she should have called CJP when the episode aired instead of saving it up for the reunion. Just when the conversation gets kind of interesting, they cut out the rest of it. At least, I can't believe that CJP and Kyle let Keri's statements go unchallenged. Kyle definitely would have attempted some damage control. But that's fine because this paragraph is super-long already.
Chris mentions that he slept in the same room as Keri and Kyle, so he saw everything that happened. Kyle jumps in, probably scared that Chris will say something he shouldn't, and says that Chris was bewildered sometimes and asked what was going on. Kyle does his Chris imitation, which gets a laugh. Chris says that it was hard sometimes to be in the house due to the tension between Kyle and Keri. And that's the end of that. I really think Keri had a lot more dirty laundry to air, and I would have loved to hear it. Maybe they could get rid of one of the really long clip packages, since anyone watching this show probably also watched the season, and instead they could actually let the roommates hash out their differences. God forbid.
McFayden says that you'd think people surrounded by cameras would realize that they couldn't get away with anything, but that never happens. He introduces a clip package about "the secrets and deceptions." The Tonya Kidney Stone song is first up. Tonya talks shit to Justin about all of her roommates, and in an inset, Tonya cringes watching it. The roommates speculate about Chris's sexuality. Kyle talks about how Keri follows him around all the time and in an inset, Keri makes a face like, "Bitch is crazy." Tonya tells Darren that she's staying alone, and they cut to Justin downstairs. Although they didn't air it, Cee (a poster in the forums) was at the taping, and she says that Tonya claims she actually was alone in the house when she made that call. Tonya says that she lies a lot. Chris makes amends for talking about Tonya behind her back and inadvertently (?) reveals that the roommates talk shit about Tonya all the time. Kyle, Keri, and CJP talk shit about Tonya while, in an inset, Kyle looks embarrassed. Tonya continues to talk shit about the roommates to Justin, followed by clips of each roommate talking shit about Tonya. The package concludes with Tonya declaring that every woman that she lives with is jealous of her. Back in the studio, CJP watches the show with a look of incredulity on her face.
McFayden says it seemed like there was a lot of trash talking, and he wonders how it feels to get caught doing it. Um, stupid? What a terrible question. Why not address each of the incidents, or at least bring up the juicy ones? Tonya is all choked up as she says that she spoke to each roommate prior to attending the reunion: watching the clips made her realize that she wasn't a very nice person sometimes, and she doesn't like that side of herself. CJP nods, as usual. It's not like Tonya was the only one talking shit in that montage. McFayden asks what the other roommates thought when they heard what Tonya said behind their backs. CJP says that she was really hurt. CJP adds that she and Tonya shared a room, so Tonya really knew what went on when the lights were out, which made it hurt even more when she said that CJP had "a raging eating disorder and [she] slept with eight, nine, ten guys." CJP says that it was hard to hear, but in all fairness, she called Tonya's tits "huge, saline, and tan." Among other things. Not to be a Tonya defender, but it's really not like she was the only one talking shit. McFayden says that they all got caught saying stuff, and CJP says that Tonya called her to discuss it, and they all got over it. McFayden brings up Chris making amends, which kind of ratted out the rest of the group. Chris says that he wanted to correct what he was doing, and it wasn't about what everyone else was doing. Aneesa says that she's never been mad or upset at Chris, but that she was upset about that because Chris ended up bringing her into it. Tonya and Chris talk over each other. Tonya says she had no idea what the roommates were saying about her. Chris says that if you watch the tape, you'll see that Tonya asked what the roommates were saying, and Chris told her it wasn't about the other roommates. I think Chris genuinely didn't intend to rat out his roommates, but I think that was the end result regardless, and he should take some responsibility for that. Then again, Tonya would have found out when the episodes aired anyway, so I guess the point is moot. CJP points out that, in a normal roommate situation, people talk about each other good and bad, and it's very unnatural that you end up seeing that. True, but they knew that going in, and perhaps could have changed their behavior accordingly. But then I guess they wouldn't be "keeping it real." Teary Tonya says that it's harder hearing it from all six of them at once. CJP says that people did defend her.
McFayden brings up the last episode, when CJP was performing and Tonya and Chris went to work out instead. We see a clip of Chris making the call to let CJP know they wouldn't be there. I still don't see what the big deal is here. Unless CJP said to them, "It's really important for me to have everyone there, not just for me, but because it's our last night together," she really has no room to complain. Of course, she might have said that and it just wasn't shown. McFayden points out that Chris and Tonya hurt CJP, and CJP makes the most annoying gesture where she puts a big "woe is me" look on her Muppet face and shrugs her shoulders up like, "Aren't I cute? Feel sorry for meeeeee!" Chris says that he knew before going to the gym that he wouldn't have time, and he feels bad about hurting her. CJP says again that it wasn't about them seeing her sing, but it was more about spending their last night together. CJP adds that Chris and Tonya excluded themselves a lot, especially when it came to working out. Frankly, I don't blame them. You'd need some excuse to get away from the rest of those loons, if only for a few hours.
McFayden asks what went through their minds watching the episodes. CJP says that it's embarrassing. Aneesa tries to make the point (I think) that normally you can "take it back" when you say something stupid or mean, but the things they said in the house are committed to tape forever and ever, so you can only try to learn a lesson. Or you could, you know, apologize. Kyle says that it's hard to watch the show and be accountable for the unattractive or hurtful things you did, and that a lot of people try to blame it on editing, but it's difficult to take responsibility for it. Yeah, Kyle should definitely take responsibility for the fact that I had to watch him sneak around with a tiny boner after humping Keri. That was unattractive. Just when I start to think that Kyle is actually going to admit that he's a tool, he says that he admires Tonya for taking responsibility for the unattractive things she did on the show. Wuh? I totally thought he was talking about himself, and then he threw it on Tonya, like Tonya is the only one who did shitty things. Jerk. Wait, why am I defending Tonya? My world has turned upside down.
It's time for another audience question. A girl asks if they still felt bad about the song they made up about Tonya in the van after hearing what she said to Justin about them. Aneesa says that it honestly makes her feel better to know that Tonya was talking shit about her, too. She still felt bad and apologized and deserved what was said about her. Tonya says that Aneesa didn't deserve it. Note that no one says Tonya didn't deserve it. Aneesa says that she is selfish and spoiled, and they all have faults. This is getting depressing. McFayden tells them all to give each other a hug, and the camera pans over the roommates' blank faces. They all just look emotionally drained. This isn't really that fun to watch anymore. But we must soldier on.
McFayden brings up the fact that the roommates were in the house during the terrorist attacks on September 11th. In case you forgot that happened -- as if that's possible -- we get to see a clip package about it. The roommates offer up a lot of platitudes to McFayden about how the attacks put everything in perspective and the little arguments suddenly seemed petty and meaningless. For about a week. Not that the rest of the world is any different. McFayden keeps asking questions about it, like, can we get back to the fighting and the hookups now? That's really what this show is about. And it's not like any of these jokers are going to come up with something profound that hasn't already been said, many times.
McFayden introduces a clip package that's all about "what went on that we didn't get to see." Otherwise known as "Shameless Plug for the Real World You Never Saw video or DVD." The clips go by too fast and furious to recap, but I will tell you that the funniest part of the DVD was the long discussion about Aneesa's vibrator. And CJP taking a huge digger in the house and sliding under a table. Also, CJP tells Aneesa that she just farted on the toilet for twenty minutes and then a tiny turd came out. In insets, the roommates laugh and laugh at their antics. But really, if you want to see what went on, just buy or rent the DVD or video, because it's much funnier to watch it than to read my descriptions. The roommates all laugh and reminisce, and Keri says that they had so much fun. McFayden asks Keri if it was that way the whole time. Keri says that they did have a lot of fun. Tonya says she watched the episodes and wondered where all the funny stuff was. This leads to a plug by McFayden for the DVD or video.
McFayden asks what the roommates' overall impression of the experience is, and says that they made memories you can tell your kids about. CJP tries to zing, "Or you couldn't!" Thunk. That was the sound of her joke falling flat. Aneesa jokes about running around naked. McFayden asks if there was anything in the package that they wish had been on the show. Aneesa and Keri make fun of him for saying "package" and he gets all flustered and says that it was "TV talk" for "the crap that we just saw." Tonya says that she wishes they had shown all of the times that Aneesa and Theo rapped and made up songs. When Tonya says it, it somehow comes off like, "I loved it when the black folks sang and danced for my amusement." Kyle says that Aneesa and Theo used to hit on the same women sometimes. Theo says that everyone always asks him if he ever had sex with Aneesa. Aneesa says she asked Theo if he ever fantasized about her, and he said that one night in bed, he licked her back. Ew! Aneesa says that she didn't even notice because she's such a heavy sleeper. Kyle asks Theo if he did anything else, and Aneesa is interested to hear the answer. Theo dies laughing, but then denies that he did anything.
McFayden asks if there was anything in the package that they wished stayed on the cutting-room floor, "like the turd thing." Theo says that it was funny. Aneesa says the ironic thing is that CJP never farts, and CJP points at Aneesa and goes, "Yes! Yes!" CJP says that she's "such a girl" when it comes to bodily functions, and she can't handle them. I don't think that's girlish behavior. Girls fart. Proudly. And loudly. The roommates all start shouting out words that CJP hates like "moist" and "horny" and CJP twitches around and begs them to stop. CJP reiterates that she's so girlish. Tonya says that she missed being able to burp out loud. CJP wouldn't let them burp? Whatever. CJP thanks her roommates for holding it in around her.
Now, some more audience questions. A woman asks who was portrayed in the worst light, and if it was accurate. Kyle speaks up and says that he thinks Tonya was portrayed the worst, and as has been said, he thinks it was somewhat accurate. Kyle points out that Tonya was sick and "away from the only person who loved her." Wow, that's nice. Kyle says that Tonya alienated her roommates and the viewers of the show. Almost as much as you, Toolbox. Aneesa thinks that CJP's portrayal was the worst because there were many sides to her that people didn't get to see. Aneesa says that she doesn't see CJP as "a trashy whore." Theo agrees that CJP got a bum rap. McFayden repeats, "Cara's not a slut." I would love for CJP to stand up and say, "You know what? I am a slut and I own it. So I had sex with more than one guy in four months? So what? Who cares? I used condoms. I'm single." But she doesn't do that.
Keri says that Tonya was portrayed the worst, but that it was due to circumstances. Chris also thinks that it was Tonya, if you look at the season as a whole, because she went through a lot even though she had a part in her portrayal. CJP doesn't like the focus being off herself, so she points out that Tonya wasn't exactly misrepresented. Aneesa says that if you compare good days to bad, Tonya had more bad days than good. This feels like they're ganging up on her. Tonya says that she's past it. McFayden points out that she doesn't seem to be past it, because she cries every time they talk about it. Tonya says that her tears don't mean that she's sad, and that she feels like she's in a good place, because she's realized a lot of things about herself that need to change. CJP points out that the show is edited to make things look a certain way. Oh, really? And here I thought it was a live, unedited feed. Kyle says that it's what they signed up for, and everyone agrees.
McFayden asks which one thing they wish hadn't made it to air. CJP says, "Sex." Tonya says it was trashing her roommates over the phone. Theo says that he has no regrets. Aneesa says that she did have one, but she changed it now. McFayden asks her to explain, and Aneesa says that it might have been how she handled the Feminem situation, or that she was naked the whole time. Aneesa explains that she went to overnight camp for years and she and all of her bunkmates were naked all of the time, and that's what made her so comfortable with her body. Aneesa thought that everyone else was comfortable with it too, but they weren't, and she changed her behavior. She concludes that she doesn't regret anything. The best part about that whole speech was that you could see Kyle sitting to her trying really hard to put on his "thinking seriously" face and he's just trying SO HARD.
John from the audience asks if they could do it over, which roommate they would get to know better. CJP says that she would sleep with Aneesa. And she can't now because...? Tonya says she wishes she had gotten to know Theo more. Theo says that he wishes he had gotten to know everyone better. On that lame note, McFayden thanks everyone for watching and bids us goodbye. Wow. That was lame. I know nothing that I didn't know coming into it, except that Tonya and Justin broke up and she feels bad about how she acted. Nothing else was new.