Real World TV Show - The New Orleans Melissa Interview, Part II - Real World Photos & Videos, Real World Reviews & Real World Recaps | TWoP

The interview with Melissa Howard from Real World: New Orleans continues, with some discussion of how people in Melissa's life were affected by her presence on the show, and lots more juicy behind-the-scenes gossip. Melissa: So, when they put Ryan on the show, that guy that came to see me? That whole thing was tweaked like nobody's business. I met him on the day before I was going to my semifinals. I was flying to L.A. and I was gonna get the show. And so, I was like, "I'm going to L.A. tomorrow." And he's like "Oh, for what?" And I'm like, "Um, well, you know that show Real World?" And he's like "What?" We waited around for three weeks, and I was hanging out with him. He got really into me and I was like, "This can't be, because I'm moving." And he's like, "But how do you know?" Sure enough, I'm hanging out with him in a bookstore, and I get this phone call, and I'm on the show. So I was like, "It was really cool meeting you. You're a really great guy. You're sweet." It was never like a boyfriend and girlfriend, holding hands, making out, French kiss, all this. He comes to the show and I told him -- they edit all this out -- I was on the phone and I'm like, "Ryan, this is a television show. You're going to look like the weepy-eyed, sad ex-boyfriend, and I'm going to look like the bitch. Because it is my birthday, and we're in New Orleans, and I'm being filmed. Never again is this going to happen." Ryan came and I could see the way the cameraman would be focusing on him. Ryan wasn't sad at my birthday party at all. Ryan just has a very stoic face. Put that with music, and then the roommates' commentary, and it's like, "Oh my God, Ryan's heartbroken!" and that was totally not it. I called him up and I was like, "Bitch, I told you not to come!" [laughs] I called him before it [aired], and I was like, "Your episode's airing tonight." We've talked on the phone [since], and he's like, "God, I was a total jackass. I shouldn't have gone." Kim: I do remember they kept focusing on his face, and I just kept thinking, "He doesn't look sad." I mean, he maybe looked a little bored, but he didn't look sad to me. But they would like play sad music, and you'd be like, "Oh, poor Ryan. He's so sad." Melissa: Totally. And that hurt, because he's my friend. And my friend didn't sign the forty-page contract, so don't mess with them. The conversation turns to how the residents of New Orleans reacted to the roommates, and Melissa mentions the boxing match between Julie and Squirrel. Kim: Yeah, what the hell was that about? Melissa: Okay, my face was so horrible on that show. I could see where people could be like, "Wow, Melissa's not getting any attention. She's really upset." No. I knew very much when I walked into that party that these were nineteen-year-old kids that were like, "Holy shit, my birthday party's being filmed! We're going to be on Real World!" They offered Julie to fight and I told Julie, "Honey, they are not going to fight fair because you are Real World Julie right now, you are not Julie. And they're going to beat your ass." Sure enough, they did, and I was like, "Okay, well answer to that in interviews tomorrow, girl, with your big-ass eye." [laughs] I was so embarrassed. They didn't show this, but I left and was like, "I can't do this!" I mean, they were placing bets. That thing has been recorded. That thing is probably going to be sold on eBay. I met so many people at that party who were like, "This is awesome that you guys showed up. This is gonna be really cool." I was like, "No, it's not, because you're ridiculing us." Kim: What was that guy's name? Baxter? Melissa: Baxter is the sweetest, cutest guy, and Julie is...Julie is a twenty-year-old girl who is getting a lot of attention from guys. I mean, you don't know how many boys dropped flowers by the house. But Baxter's mother was the make-up artist for the intro [credits for the show]. And Baxter's father is the designer for the house. Kim: Really? Melissa: Yeah, and New Orleans is such a small town that it's absolutely normal to us. Someone would pour my coffee and be like, "Oh my boyfriend is the sound guy!" and I'd be like, "What?" You know, and I'm not allowed to know these people. So, when the show was over, and we did the open, Baxter's mom was like, "You know, Baxter had a great time with you guys." And I was like, "Yeah, it just sucks that he signed his life away like that because undoubtedly he'll get dumped on TV." Just because Julie is fleeting like that. And Baxter is hot! I was like, "I'll go out with him!" It was so weird, and his mother is absolutely gorgeous. His father was crazy talented. So, the people that we met were involved with the filming. It started to become weird and incestuous, like gross. [laughs] Kim: Are we going to see your parents [on the show]? I remember you saying something about your parents coming to visit and everybody loved your dad. Melissa: My parents came for three days and absolutely stole the show. Kim: And I've been looking forward to that! Melissa: They came right at the end, when Julie's dad was leaving, so maybe not this episode, but episode, we'll meet my parents. Which I hope they do, because I really want them to redeem my dad because he really is a straight-up comedian. He came in the house and said every non-PC thing he could've said and everyone still loved him. Kim: Well, your phone calls to him and the letters that he wrote you always seemed so funny. And your casting tape when you were talking about your parents was so funny, and so I really hope we do get to see them. Melissa: Every time I would get on the phone with my dad, the cameraman would come hauling ass up and start recording. And my dad would crack me up! I remember when they were coming, I said, "Did MTV send you the tickets?" and my dad said, "Uh, baby if they ain't buying, I ain't flying." I remember the cameraman put the camera down and had to leave the room to just crack up. And I remember another time, I'd asked my parents to bring my car because I couldn't drive the Yukon. You'll never see me driving the Yukon. Kim: Are you too short? Melissa: Too short. I'd sit on pillows, and I was just wrecking stuff. And I remember I called my mom and I was like, "Mom, I really want you to drive my car up." Even though I wasn't allowed to have it. And she goes, "Well, you wanna go Real World, then you better get real job and ride real bus." And the sound girl was just cracking up. They would listen to the conversations with my mom, and they'd almost be not doing their jobs. They'd be keenly listening because she has very broken English. My parents came with bathing suits in hand, like [dad voice], "Hey baby, you said you had a hot tub?" I was like, "Daddy, oh my God, everybody else's parents didn't do that to them." [laughs] My dad hit on Julie every day. He'd be like, "Baby, you really got a nice ass. I just gotta let you know that." My mom baggage-claimed like a hundred egg rolls! She gets off the plane, and she's like, "Oh, we gotta go baggage claim." And I'm like, "Why?" So my dad's like, "Your mother's goddamn crazy. She's trying to feed mother fucking Africa." And I'm like, "Daddy, the microphones are on! Stop it!" And so he looks at the camera guy, and he goes, "Can we edit that? Because I don't need to say it like that." So we go to the baggage claim, and he goes, "You watch this bullshit." This white Styrofoam cooler wrapped in duct tape comes around the conveyer belt and the camera girl jumps on the conveyer belt and is filming this cooler. Then they shot my mom and my mom goes, "Hey, I make eggroll for cast and crew!" I was like, "Oh my God! For cast and crew! You can't make eggrolls for the crew, Mom, they don't exist." And my mom was so upset that she couldn't talk to the crew! There was a Filipino camera guy, and she was just speaking Tagalog. They had to take him off the floor because my mom would not leave him alone. It was hilarious. Melissa: He is so cute. And the thing is that he looks as awesome on television as he does in person. Kim: Yeah, he is so sparkly, like his eyes... Melissa: His eyes twinkle. I know. He's gorgeous! I didn't know what to do. Like Paul and him would be making out in my room, and Paul's gorgeous too, and I'd be like, "What am I supposed to do with this?" I didn't know whether I was supposed to break down and masturbate because I wasn't getting any. I'd just be in my bed, like, "Are you kidding me? At least kick me out." What's crazy is he really is like a down home Southern guy. Like fame is fame to him, and he's going to do what he can with it, but he's not out there like whoring. My mom absolutely adores him. We were in Gainesville on a college lecture, and we get in a limo, and my mom's like, "I have to sit by Danny. Excuse me." And my mom like jumbles the whole seating thing up to sit by him. Danny loves her. Everybody loves my mom. Even though she's like a Real World junkie. It's weird. I'll hype up Real World for her because ten years ago, she couldn't imagine owning a TV, and now she's got a TV with her daughter on it. Isn't that the American dream come true? So I'll call her, and I'll be talking to her about my life, and she'll be like, "Oh, hey honey, I have to go. Real World coming on now." And I'm like, "But I'm your daughter!" She'll be like, "I know. But I've never seen this one. Bye." And she'll just hang up on me. We were in Florida and she's knocking on my roommates' hotel doors like, "Julie, can you sign this paper one more time for me? Thank you!" She went around with a poster and marker, like, "David, can you sign this one time for me?" She's so cute. She'll be like, "Woo woo!" She went up to Kelley and she's like, "Ooh, Kelley, sexy sexy, huh?" Kelley's like, "Your mom is absolutely adorable." Everybody understands that my mom's really starstruck with all of us, and so they are so good to her. I mean, Julie calls her on the phone. Like, Julie has my mom on speed dial. My mom doesn't read into the storylines like a normal viewer would. To her, it's like, "These are kids that I know. These are kids that I went to church with. These are kids that I was in a hot tub with. These are kids that are a part of my daughter's life." So I call her and I'm like, "Mom, I need the recap." She'll be like, "Well, what happened is, Danny, he is gay. Then, Julie, she get upset. You are not really on the show, so probably you, maybe you at the store." I'm like, "What do you mean, maybe I'm at the store?" [laughs] She'll be like, "I don't see David, so maybe he still Africa, maybe he don't come back." I'm like, "No, mom, he came back! He's just not on this show!" Kim: [laughing] Like she doesn't really get the whole editing thing. Melissa: She's like, "So then what happened is..." and my dad's like, "Give me the phone. I'll tell you what happened. See, what I think happened, and they might have cut this out, is you was upset because you know, you and David really wasn't bonding. So off in the corner of the house, where the cameras weren't, you know, y'all was talking it through." And I'm like, "No, we weren't!" And he'll be like, "What happened is, Danny's family came, and I thought there was gonna be all this tension, right? Because his dad maybe don't know that, you know, he be taking it..." And I'm like, "Daddy!" [laughs] And he's like, "So, what happened is, Danny, he's gay and everything, but everybody's cool with that. I'm cool with gay people. I like gay people. I like gay men." I'm like, "But it's not about you." And he says, "So his dad came, and he had the same mentality I did. You know, our kids is on TV. He's gay, whatever." And I was like, "Well, I don't know..." and he's like, "So they was all happy, and you know how white folks do, they went and climbed a tree." Kim: [laughs hysterically] Melissa: I'm like, "What do you mean?" and he's like, "Well, see, what happened is, there wasn't really any drama. And you know white people, they like to be happy, and things, and they climbed a tree." And I was like, "Dad, all white people don't climb trees when they're happy." And my mom's like, "See, they climbed that one tree -- remember, we were at the park. That's the one I saw." And I'm like, "Okay, the tree is not a character." The way they recap the show to me is more hilarious than the show itself. Sometimes I won't watch it. I'll let my parents watch it first, and I'll call them. And then I'll watch it and see what they were talking about. And I'll be like, "What?" My mom's like, "What happened is, you were crying really bad, and then they close up on you, right? And your face don't look that pretty." And I'm like, "Mom!" And she's like, "Also, one time they get real close in your face, and I say, 'See Shorty? We should have gotten her braces.'" I'm like, "What the hell?" Kim: Like you don't feel insecure enough, now your parents are telling you your flaws. Melissa: My dad's like, "Also baby, one time when you cut your hair real short, they did a close-up. This is when you was crying on the phone. You know how you get dramatic. You was crying and then straight up, that bald spot. Remember when you was in the Philippines and you had that ringworm and they had to cut it out? That spot of hair never grew back right. And they showed it. And they don't really explain that, you know, you was young, and you was in a Third World country, and so you had a bald spot." And I'm like, "Well, Dad, you know, that's really not a storyline." Kim: So, they edited out the parts where he was asking about everything BUT you, and they just showed the parts where you were like, "But let's talk about me." Melissa: Right. "Are you going to be with me or what?" Kim: So you were kind of trying to say, "Look, are you dating me, or are you dating Real World?" Melissa: Right. And I was blown when they showed on TV [that I said] he was just involved in the glitz and glamour of what's going on around me. I could not believe they put that on TV. That is me saying, "I'm cognizant of cameras. I'm cognizant of a television show." And they put it on the show! I guess because it's been on for nine years, they really have nowhere else to go. I mean, you have to admit it at one point.