Real World TV Show - The New Orleans Melissa Interview, Part III - Real World Photos & Videos, Real World Reviews & Real World Recaps | TWoP
The final segment of the interview begins with Melissa and I discussing other seasons of Real World, who she has met, and what they told her about life after the show.
Kim: I've heard that there's an informal network of people who've been on the Real World and they have barbecues. Who you have met, and did they have any advice for you on dealing with the whole "fame of the Real World" thing?
Melissa: Well, we go on these college tours and they put a hodgepodge of cast members together. So I've met Colin and Amaya, and Heather B., and David from Seattle, and Rebecca. As a Real World person, you go through this rite of passage. Like when I met Colin, I was still on cloud nine, like, "Whoo-whee, I'm famous!" But then I was also getting to the point where I didn't deal well with people coming up to me and telling me who I am and what I was doing, but having to smile through it. So I'm in a hot tub with Colin at a hotel, and we're talking about it. And these people that have been on the show and lived their lives a year now, two, three, four years after it -- they're so jaded with the whole Real World thing. They're such normal people except that they have their lives on television. I mean, they straight give you the raw deal. Because I was like, "I answer ten fan mails a day." Colin's like, "Are you crazy?" I was like, "Why?" He's like, "Melissa, Real World becomes your life when you do that." I was like, "But it is my life." He's like, "No, but it's not your life." And so they tell you exactly what's going to happen. They tell you that in a month's time, you will be nobody. But they're not doing it to be mean. They're just like, "No, it happened to me."
Real World really invites depression. I have never been a depressed person in my life. But when you have three-hour interviews about who you are, what you said, who you don't like, who you do like, analyze facial expressions, analyze time and place -- and you're constantly in your own head. And then, you're dealing with the fact that you will say something in an interview, and then you'll be like, "Oh my God, are you going to put that on there?" You're constantly stressed out about it. It invites depression. I won't lie -- after the show was over, I went right to my doctor in Florida and was like, "Dude, I have never felt so paranoid in my life." He put me on Paxil for three weeks and it made me throw up, so I just quit and decided to deal with my depression. It's like the best and worst time in your life.
We go back to discussing the other Real World cast members that she has met.
Melissa: I was with Amaya, and that girl is a trip.
Kim: Really?
Melissa: We all deal with the public differently.
Kim: And she's had a year.
Melissa: Oh, totally, and I've had three months. So I'm really nice, and she said to me, "Wow, you're really nice." [laughs] She was just blown at how nice I am. But she was eating a taco, and someone came up and asked her for a picture, and she said, "No, not right now, I'm eating." And for me, I was just like, "[gasp] You just said no!" and she was like, "So?"
Kim: Well, she got a lot of shit too. I mean, people really had a lot of problems with her. So I'm sure she gets a lot of negative reaction.
Melissa: People will come up to you and try to trivialize and water down your fame. They'll be like, "Oh my God! You're my absolute favorite! What's your name again?" Or, "I don't really watch your show. I just saw a commercial and you look like that girl." Whatever. It's like the show people love to hate, and they will not admit that they watch it. I watch it! Shit, I will not lie. I watch me some Real World. I was all over Kaia like flies on doody.
Kim: How did you meet [Amaya]? Did you meet her through BMP?
Melissa: I met her in New Orleans, actually, at our wrap party, because she did our promos.
Kim: Oh, she did the promos -- she and Nathan.
Melissa: Yeah, so she and Nathan were there, and they're like, "Welcome to the family," and they were really sweet about it. Amaya is teeny tiny.
Kim: Everyone who has met her in person says that: "You would not believe how tiny she is!" She's just a petite little package.
Melissa: She's my height, with just big old titties! She's so cute too. She is so cute. And Colin is FIIINE, okay? I met him and I was like, "Don't make me rape you." I love him! David from Seattle is fine. Just fine. The two different-colored eyes, and he works out every day? I was straight trying to French kiss him. You meet these people and -- don't get me wrong, I've passed judgment on all of these kids. I used to sit at home and be like, "Oh, fuck you, Kaia!" I was like, "You're just evil! You're just mean!"
David from Seattle is absolutely off the hook. I love him to death. Like, the person he is on TV is this serious VMI boy who's heartbroken and in love. That kid comes up with crazy shit. He's like, "You know what, guys? I'm a warrior."
Kim: I'm recapping the Seattle season right now, from tape. And there are some times when he gets a little melodramatic with Kira and stuff. But the things he comes up with are so hilarious.
Melissa: He is hilarious, and he's rambunctious as hell. He like invades your personal space and lifts you up and throws you around. [laughs] He's really awesome.
Kim: So you did watch the show before you went on it?
Melissa: Oh, I was totally cognizant. And I get so tired of hearing about cast members -- it even went on in my house -- where they'd be like, "I don't really watch the show." And I'd be like, "Shut up! Why would you subject yourself to four months of interviewing if you didn't watch the show and didn't want to be a part of it? Are you retarded? This whole, "I don't want to be famous. I just want to change the perception that people have about this stereotype." And I'm like, "Child, you have no control in that editing room. You want to be famous." Four million people are watching you, and they're cognizant of it, so you might as well admit it. And people are watching us and thinking, "Oh my God, they'd do anything to be famous." And so? And?
Kim: Well, that's what I like about you -- you're so upfront, like, "Yeah, I'm going on this show so people will see me. That's what it's about."
Melissa: Totally. And also, you tell a kid in the South who doesn't know anything about the business, "Hey, you're gonna be famous. And we're gonna give you money. And then you're gonna live in a house, for free. How do you feel about that?" I would be like, "Okay, what do you need me to do?" "Oh, we just need you to be yourself and be really, really honest." Okay. I can do that.
Kim: Let's talk about the fact that you cut your hair. How much did that fuck up the whole thing? Were the producers pissed? Because I know in Hawaii, Justin dyed his hair.
Melissa: Okay, I loved Justin and I wish he would have stayed on the show because that show -- I don't care what anybody says -- Hawaii cannot be topped. I mean, that show kept me watching like nobody's business.
Kim: Yeah. Well, Justin was my favorite. But that's a whole other story.
Melissa: Justin was my favorite too!
Kim: The recap with the trip and everything? I wrote this whole justification of how it was edited to make him look evil.
Melissa: This is what I believe happened. Justin is another one of these really, really honest people. He may be abrasive with his honesty. But he was telling each and every one of them what their problem was, what their little schtick was, and they couldn't deal.
Kim: Yeah, he saw through them.
Melissa: Nobody likes to be told they suck, especially on a national television show. Nobody wants to admit they are a flawed person. Justin admitted he was a flawed person. He said, "I am a work in progress, but I'm telling you, these people have A, B, and C problems."
Kim: Right. And he dyed his hair -- bleached his hair.
Melissa: There's a clause in our contract where we can't change our personal appearance. But I had an attorney go through my contract with a fine-tooth comb and he's like, "You can't win." But I was like, "Well, I wanna be on TV." [laughs] I had a rookie crew that day, and they came with me. I mean, they were looking at each other like, "She's gonna cut her hair?" But they didn't do anything. So they're watching me cut my hair, and they filmed the whole thing. I'm thinking they filmed the whole thing for editing's sake.
Kim: Right, so they can explain why suddenly you have short hair.
Melissa: Right. I get home, and Drew, our supervising director, calls up and he's like [seriously], "Melissa, can we take a walk around the block?" So, I'm like, "Okay!" So we go around and he's like, "Ummmmm, you cut your hair." And I was like, "Yeah, I did! Do you like it?" He was just like, "Ugh." And that was it. That was the whole conversation.
Kim: Basically he just made you know that you weren't supposed to do that.
Melissa: And what's awesome is that I was under this perception like, "Ooh, I cut my hair, so now they have to be accurate with my story." Wrong! They threw that to the wind. They did not care.
Kim: I guess they think people won't notice, and I guess the casual viewer, who's just watching at ten o'clock on Tuesday probably won't, because the cuts are so fast. By the time you think, "Wait, Melissa's...oh forget it. They're on to another scene."
So, I was going to ask about your website. It seems like this year's cast has much more of a web presence. Do you think that is just a sign of the times? Or did Jamie tell you, "Oh, you should have a website"?
Melissa: Well, Matt's whole college career was web design. Julie had a site. She bought Planet Julie, and she built it herself and everything. Julie's not web savvy, but she's learning it. Also, I bought a site and Matt told me how to do it.
Melissa discussed her plans for her site, Princess Melissa, which includes selling her original artwork. Unfortunately, I was flipping the tape at that point and missed the actual conversation. But I wanted to give her a plug, because based on the graphics on her site, I'm sure her artwork is great. And she linked to MBTV! How cool is that?
Kim: So, she's living in California now?
Melissa: Yeah, we went to dinner last night. I've never seen her so happy, though. I've never seen her so grounded and so happy. And I'll give that girl props because who, at twenty years old, would be able to go on a national television show and admit there are things they don't know to an audience that does know? That's just scary and she is so well adjusted and normal. Me and Julie sit around and talk about our teeth. They don't show that on TV. It's so normal. But they show us being these cocky, confident twentysomethings and dealing with people. The cameraman would get on my right side, and I'd be like, "Oh, don't go on that side. That tooth sticks out. Go on the other side." And Julie will be like, "Oh, fuck, my teeth."
Melissa: And Jamie is in San Francisco, and he's got a little girlfriend and he's happy. He shaved his head, and he's totally not recognizable.
Kim: Shaved his head like bald, or he just has really short hair?
Melissa: Really short hair. Not bald, like scalp bald, like alopecia bald. And he's doing well, and he's happy, and he travels a lot like he always has.
I know that Kelley's living in New Orleans. It's weird because all of us actually do get along. That doesn't make for a good TV show, but in real life, it makes for a good life. Peter and she are happy from last I heard, which I talked to her like two weeks ago.
Danny, gorgeous as ever, [is] modeling his butt off.
I'll be on Jamie Foxx at the end of the season, but don't watch it, because I have no acting skills. The whole time I was working there, I had no idea he knew who I was. But then at the wrap party, he gets on the microphone, and he's like, "Um, for Melissa, the Real World girl, the bar is wide open. I seen you at the birthday party, girl." And the whole time, I'm star-struck with Jamie Foxx, just following behind him and shit, and he knew the whole time who I was. It's so weird when you meet stars [who] like you and they know about you. Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince of Bel Air was like, "I love you on the show." Uncle Phil, dude? Gary Coleman would not leave me alone. He was totally stalking me.
Kim: He's your new boyfriend, isn't he?
Melissa: He says to me, "So, what are you -- five feet?" I'm like, "That's your fucking come-on line?"
Kim: He's like Silence of the Lambs. "What are you, a size sixteen?"
Melissa: We've never seen stars in the production office. If Jamie Foxx came to the production office, we would all shit our pants. Gary Coleman comes through there looking for me, and is fondling me, and I'm like, "Ew, you're so gross."
Kim: Yeah, I've heard stories about him.
Melissa: He's so gross. And then he's hitting on me, and he goes, "I'd like to see more of you." And I go, "Okay, every Tuesday night at 10:00." And he says, "No, in real life." And I go, "No, it's reality-based TV." I just skipped up out of there. He is scary. I remember all of my co-workers on the show clowned me for a week. They're like, "Yo, Gary Coleman."
Kim: Have you met any other celebrities?
Melissa: I saw Lisa Loeb the other day, and I got so scared that I couldn't talk to her.
Kim: But isn't it weird, because people feel like that about you? And you feel like that about other celebrities?
Melissa: I know! I went to a taping of Moesha, and that girl Char, who plays Moesha's best friend was like, "Hey, girl, I love you!" and she invites me to Disneyland, and she's just so nice. And I'm like, "You think I'm cool? But you're on TV."
Kim: But you're on TV!
Melissa: It's the weirdest thing to meet celebrities and they freak on you. Like Ray, the MTV VJ Raymond, he called me. I don't care though. I'm trying to milk this and straight up meet Justin from *NSYNC because I love him.
Kim: I hear he's with Britney, though. Are you going to steal him away?
Melissa: He is. But I love him so much more. And I don't think he understands how much I love him. *NSYNC is black! Have you heard that album?
Kim: I haven't heard the whole album, no.
Melissa: That shit is like watered-down Boyz 2 Men. It's good!
Kim: I love *NSYNC. Believe me. I'm no snob about that. People say they don't listen to "Bye Bye Bye." Whatever! You love it. It's a good song.
Melissa: I missed the whole *NSYNC revolution because I was filming the show and I couldn't watch. Don't you know, when I got home, I watched everything I could watch.
We talked for a while about my recaps, but this interview isn't about me, so I'm editing it out. I thought this part of the exchange was interesting though.
Melissa: Oh, you can still tear me up.
Kim: It's so hard, though! Last season, I was the only one recapping a reality-based show. Everybody else was just doing Felicity or whatever. And so, they'd get to make fun of the characters, but they could say, "I don't know why the writers are doing this. This is stupid." But I was making fun of actual people. And I always had such a moral conflict with that. Obviously, not enough to stop. I hope that people understand that I'm trying to be funny, and part of being funny, sometimes, is being ridiculous.
Melissa: No, I totally get it. We have the same sense of humor, and that's why I get it. When you're like, "Melissa, shut up," I am like, "Melissa, shut up." When I watch the show, I'm like, "Oh, God."
Kim: And especially this season, with so many of you being on the web, I just think, "Oh my God, one of them is going to read it, and I'm going to feel like an asshole."
Melissa: Girl, you can still tear me up! That is your job.
Kim: Well, I'm glad that you have a sense of humor about it.
Melissa: You have to have a sense of humor. If I didn't have a sense of humor, I'd be fucking dead in a gutter right now. The reason why it's survivable is that I get fan mail from so many biracial kids, from so many young white people living in really sheltered environments. They thank me for teaching them about X, Y, and Z. I had no idea the impact the show had. When I watched it, it was just one of those shows where I was like, "Ooh, look at these mother fuckers." It was never a learning thing. These kids e-mail me, and they send me pictures of themselves like, "This is what I look like and this is what people call me. I just wanted your advice on how to handle this." But it's just sad that people are learning about hardcore shit like that from this stupid, edited TV show.