God, isn't this season over yet? No? Sigh. Damn Wing Chun and her "great idea" to recap past seasons of this show. And as Janet would say, "Fuck me for being so easily influenced." Hey, are those enough swear words in the first paragraph for you? Hell, no! ["Shut the fuck up and get to recapping, muthafucka. Just getting in the spirit!" -- Wing Chun]
Nathan is speaking on a microphone at some concert, running a contest of some sort. Later, he's talking to various women. In an interview, Janet tells us that Nathan is "a big hornball." Wow, thank you for telling me that. In an interview, Nathan says that there is "temptation in Seattle," that there is "temptation everywhere," that he's human, and that he "has flesh." Except it's captioned that he said that he's "half-flesh," which would be far more interesting. Have I mentioned that I totally forgot about Stephanie, Nathan's annoying girlfriend? So I guess he's not the only one.
Nathan and David walk home from a bar. Nathan is still talking about temptation. Maybe he should have hosted Temptation Island. He couldn't have been worse than Mark "Tool" Walberg. Nathan claims that he could have "one night of bliss with some hot-assed model," but that it would ruin a lifetime of bliss with Stephanie. And doesn't Nathan think highly of himself, that he could get a model? Sadly, he probably could, what with the cameras and all. David ask Nathan whether he gets "a cool feeling" when he says "'us' and 'we'" in reference to Stephanie and himself. Nathan drunkenly slurs that when he talks about his future and what he wants to do, he thinks about Stephanie. It's kind of sad to recap these episodes in retrospect, because I know that they broke up. But not that sad. Oh, it only gets worse, though. In an interview, Nathan says that this is "the test of all tests for a relationship," and that if they "make it through this, [they'll] make it through anything." Aw. Nathan tells David that he loves Stephanie, and that he misses a face she'll make when he says something funny. I don't know. They're drunk.
Okay, I thought the Space Needle thing was bad, but the transportation thing is getting pretty ridiculous as well. They just showed a tugboat pulling another boat that had a bulldozer on it. I kid you not. I think the editors are fucking with me. Somehow. Retroactively. I mean, was it a coincidence that the guy who interviewed me for the Tenth Anniversary Special was the same guy who produced this season? I think not! They sabotaged my tape. I'm sorry. It's 2:00 AM and I'm starting to get paranoid. Anyway. Nathan is on the phone with Stephanie. Hello, Hip, Squiggly Font. Good to see you again, old friend. Stephanie asks whether it's possible to change plane reservations, because she wants to come out the day. Nathan laughs and quickly calculates how many dates he'll have to cancel. In an interview, Nathan says that Stephanie is coming out to visit, and that he can't wait, because he hasn't been himself since she hasn't been around. So I guess he's normally monogamous, then? On the phone, Stephanie sighs that she's "so ready for the step." Nathan is, too. Just to make sure they're talking about the same thing, Stephanie says she's ready to get married. Nathan non-sequiturs something about staying in Seattle and finishing his degree at the University of Washington. Stephanie tells him that he can't, and that he has to finish up at VMI. Which, if I recall correctly, he never did. Also, way to be a supportive girlfriend. Stephanie says that there are two things that she'll "punch him in the face" for: the first is not getting his degree, and the second is "if it goes beyond flirting." I guess Nathan is in for a beating. I, for one, can't wait. Stephanie says that she was talking to one of her friends about learning how to throw a punch. Now that's trust. Nathan pulls the phone away from his face and makes a "the hell?" expression.
Rebecca and some guy eat at a Thai Restaurant. Hip, Squiggly Font pops in and tells us that the guy is "Ricardo, Sir Mix-A-Lot's Manager." Nothing against Sir Mix-A-Lot, because everyone knows that "Baby Got Back" is a great song, but even when this season aired, he was pretty old-school. In an interview, Rebecca tells us that Ricardo works with Sir Mix-A-Lot, for the illiterate in the crowd who couldn't read the Hip, Squiggly Font. Rebecca tells Ricardo that music is her "outlet," and her "haven from academia." Rebecca fears that if she went into music as a career, it would ruin her passion. Heh. I used to feel the same way about both writing and watching television. Ricardo tells her that if she doesn't try, she'll always wonder what she could have done. Rebecca says that it's "a double-edged sword," and Ricardo agrees that they are "tough choices." In an interview, Rebecca says that she mentioned to Ricardo that she sang; he told her that Sir Mix-A-Lot was looking for some new backup voices, and she begged him for the opportunity. I'd like to take this opportunity to mention that Sir Mix-A-Lot's last album of new material was released in 1996, so I'm not sure why he was looking for new voices, but whatever.
Sir Mix-A-Lot's studio. I guess the royalties for "Baby Got Back" really worked out well for him. ["Well, it is a pretty great song." -- Wing Chun] In an interview, Rebecca says that she struck a deal with Sir Mix-A-Lot that if she sang backup vocals for him, he would produce a song for her. I'm sure that the free publicity of being on MTV had nothing to do with his willingness to accept that deal. Rebecca breathily sings into a microphone. She's not terrible, but her style just isn't my cup of tea. Her song is played back and Rebecca comments that it's "bad," and she likes it. There's some confusion over the fact that she used "bad" to mean "good," like, who's done that since 1976? Outside, Rebecca agrees to write an original song; Sir Mix-A-Lot will "lay it down."
Space Needle Shot #75. Nathan is meeting with Phil, the station director. Phil says that Nathan took on the role he was given, even though it wasn't on the air, and "rebounded two hundred percent." Phil mentions that Nathan is interested in continuing in radio, so Phil offers him the opportunity to take over Irene's slot on Janet and Lindsay's show. Like B/M didn't make him do that. Nathan smiles and says he would definitely like that.
Nathan is at a bar (surprise!) with a bunch of people, and he's talking to a girl. He mentions that he's been with Stephanie for two years, and that today is their anniversary. Then, he goes to get another beer, mentioning that he called Stephanie three times and she hasn't called him back. In an interview, Nathan says that he doesn't drink at home the way he has been in Seattle, and that "drinking can cause a lot of problems." Stephen walks down the street, holding hands with some girl. Nathan walks ahead of him, to a girl named Lisa. They walk towards an SUV, as Lisa tells Nathan that he needs "sexual intimacy." Nathan says he doesn't, and asks for a cigarette. In an interview, Stephen says that Lisa likes Nathan, and that they "bump into a lot of chicks that like Nate." Must be the soul patch. Nathan and Lisa ride down the street. In an interview, Stephen says that Lisa is "this mad massager." The SUV is parked now. In silhouette, we see Lisa moving towards Nathan, but it's too shadowy to see what's going on. Nathan says, "Nice!" Hee!
Nathan talks to Rebecca outside a bar. He's really drunk, and slurring his words more than usual. Nathan asks whether she wants to walk or get a taxi, and mentions that he needs "to get away from everyone." Rebecca agrees. Nathan tells Rebecca (and David, suddenly) that he's going to walk home because he needs time to think about things. David says he thinks that's a good idea. Rebecca doesn't, probably because Nathan can barely walk. David tells her not to be "a chick." I'd punch him right there. Rebecca points out that Nathan can't even walk, and starts to follow him at a distance. In an interview, Rebecca says that guys act dumb when they're drunk. Wow, Rebecca has unearthed a secret of the ages. Also, girls have been known to act dumb when they're drunk, too.
Rebecca catches up to Nathan, who is crying. Nathan says, "I'm a dick. I'm an asshole." He seriously can barely talk. Rebecca tells him that it's okay and asks what happened. Nathan keeps repeating, "I'm fine. I'm fine." What is he, Lindsay? Nathan tells Rebecca that he fucked up, and that he didn't mean to kiss her. Rebecca asks whom he kissed, and Nathan can't remember her name. Heh. Nathan cries some more as Rebecca tells him that everyone messes up.
Nathan sits at the desk and sobs as the song on the soundtrack says, "This is love if you want it. It's not like a sonnet." Nathan lies in bed, kicks his feet, and cries some more. Watching Nathan cry is really, really boring. But hey, I'm just glad that no one has a fatal disease or commits suicide in this episode.
Rebecca and Janet go rollerblading in a park. They stop for a break, and Rebecca confesses that she went through a stage in life when she would always make fun of herself, by saying things like, "God, I'm such a dork." Who didn't? Join the club. In an interview, Rebecca says that she didn't really have an established sense of self when she came to Seattle. Janet notes that it's impossible to achieve perfection, but that shouldn't stop you from trying. Ooh, she should get a job with SUCKcessories. Rebecca says that she always thought she was "superhuman" and could achieve perfection, but she was really unhappy. In an interview, Rebecca says that she has blossomed in Seattle. Could there be a more boring story line than Rebecca's blossoming? Possibly the blossoming of New Orleans Julie. Yes, that may be it.
Rebecca tells Stephen that Sir Mix-A-Lot is going to produce a song for her. Rebecca's friend Chris is visiting, and they are going to write a song together. In an interview, Rebecca says that Chris is "an incredible songwriter." Stephen asks whether Chris came out to visit Rebecca, saying that he thought Rebecca "picked him up at Sir Mix-A-Lot's house." Heh. In the interview, Rebecca says that Chris will write the tune and she'll write the words, "and then Mix wants [them] to go back into the studio." Ooh, he's "Mix" now. Rebecca and Chris work on the song that will become the super-annoying but oh-so-catchy "Innocent." In an interview, Rebecca says that she lives music, and that she thinks music is poetry. Gack! Sorry. I think I just threw up.
More transportation. A train, then baggage carts going out to meet an airplane. Nathan nervously waits for Stephanie to arrive, and smiles when he sees her. Stephanie runs up and gives him a big hug. In an interview, Nathan says that when they're hugging, he feels safe. Nathan says that the plan is to get some beers, and Stephanie thinks that sounds good. To enhance the drama, B/M is completely ignoring the other two friends who have come with Stephanie to hang out with Nathan.
In the car, Nathan and Stephanie are giggling, and then she says, "You've changed." Nathan tells her to shut up and asks what's wrong with her. In an interview, Nathan says that he's going to tell Stephanie about the girl he kissed, but not until the end of the trip, because he doesn't want her to have a bad time while she's there. I don't know. I'm of two minds about it. On the one hand, what he said. On the other hand, if he told her right away, they would have the chance to talk about it in person. And if he told her at the end, all of her memories of the trip would be tainted. Wow, I just put way too much thought into that.
Nathan, Stephanie, and the two nameless friends arrive at the radio station. They hang out in the conference room, drinking beer. In an interview, Janet says that Nathan arrived with an entourage, and that it was a special moment for him. I never noticed before how much Stephanie looks like Amaya. Nathan tells Stephanie that he's nervous to go on the air, and that having her there adds more pressure. Nathan drinks a beer as Lindsay starts the show and introduces Nathan. Stephanie sits in the studio, drinking a beer and listening. I would totally tell her to go wait in the other room, but maybe that's just me. ["It's not just you. Bug off, Yoko." -- Wing Chun] Nathan does his little piece fairly well. Tony the show producer comes in and "recommends" that Nathan not drink while he's on the air. You think? He mentions that he thought Nathan was just going to finish his open beer, but then Nathan opened another one. Nathan totally gets it, but Tony keeps going on and on about it. Tony takes the beer to put in the refrigerator, like it wouldn't be flat by the time the show is over. In an interview, Janet says that Tony is laidback, and that she knows he didn't like doing that, but that "it was a necessary measure." Stephanie's and Nathan's friends drink beer in the break room. In an interview, Lindsay says that it's "not appropriate to drink beer, necessarily, when you're working." Unless you're a recapper for MBTV, that is.
Lindsay ends the show. Tony tells Nathan that they'll "probably have a 'no guests' thing from now on." Nathan asks what's wrong with his friends' being there. Dude! It's your job. You don't bring your friends to hang out at your workplace. Again, unless you're a recapper for MBTV. Tony says that he heard reports that they were getting kind of rowdy, and were "making a party out of it, with the beer." Yeah, inappropriate. Nathan says it's not a problem, and Tony says, "No harm done." Janet looks pissed. Or tired.
Space Needle Shot #76. Nathan and Stephanie lie in bed. Stephanie apologizes for not doing everything she can to make it better. Nathan tells her that he hasn't replaced her with anybody. Cut to Stephen, on the phone, telling a friend about Nathan kissing Lisa. Heh. Stephen says that Lisa was "puking and crying" and "so beat down," but that she gives "mad massages." In an interview, Nathan says he felt "like complete dirt." In bed, Stephanie tells Nathan that he's her best friend, and that it's hard not having him around. Nathan replies, "Same with you." On the phone, Stephen says he hopes they "weather the storm." Nathan and Stephanie fall asleep in each other's arms.
Oh, Jesus, I had completely forgotten about the "Rebecca records a song" story line. Rebecca is in the studio, preparing to record her song. It sounds very much like The Sundays. In an interview, Rebecca says that when she sings or performs music, "it's like an outpouring of [her] soul," and "it makes things so comprehensible." I would make fun of that statement, but in recent interviews, she's talked about how embarrassed she is by it, so I'll leave it alone. Rebecca finishes that song, and Sir Mix-A-Lot tells her he wants to tape three more. Rebecca would love to, because she thinks "it's the most fun thing in the world."
Nathan gives Stephanie a piggyback ride. Stephanie tries on a dress, and she really does have a great figure. I'd never noticed before, because she usually wears such baggy clothes. Nathan and Stephanie sit on a bench on the street. Nathan says that he won't change. Stephanie feels like she's holding him back. Nathan says that she gives him the inspiration to do the things he's done. What, get really drunk? Cheat on her? Stephanie says that she's scared, and Nathan says that he is too, but they love each other so much that things will be fine. I just realized that the vocal track doesn't match up with their actions. Obviously, this is a voice-over meant to look like it's what they were saying at the time. Not that it matters. In an interview, Nathan says that Stephanie will probably be mad at him for not telling her about Lisa right away, but he doesn't think it's the place or time. Plus, he's probably scared she'll punch him in the face. They kiss and walk down the street.
In the radio station conference room, Rebecca plays her song for Nathan and Lindsay. Rebecca tells them that she wrote and sang it, and that Sir Mix-A-Lot produced it. Nathan asks, "You wrote all the words?" No, Nathan, she wrote every other word. Dumb-ass. In a confessional, Rebecca says that she may seem meek, but that she's strong, and that there's not much that she thinks she can't do. She says it's not arrogant, but it's "inner faith." She doesn't come off as arrogant, anyway. Flashback to Rebecca recording her song. Oh, great. Now I'm going to have this stupid song in my head all day tomorrow. After the song is over, Lindsay says she really likes it a lot. Nathan says he's proud of her, and encourages her to give it to someone at the station. Or, try to get it played on national television. Oh, she just did!
At a bar, Nathan offers up a toast for Stephanie and his friends' last night in Seattle. In an interview, Janet says that she has no doubt that Nathan loves Stephanie "with all of his heart, and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her." Everyone dances. I guess that means they are getting drunk. Back at the house, Nathan is drunk and wondering where seventy-five dollars goes at a bar. Hell, if he was drunk enough, he probably just lost it somewhere. Not that it has ever happened to me. But I've, uh, seen really drunk people take money out and put it on the table, and then forget it's there. Nathan babbles that he has tons of money. Across the room, Rebecca looks at him in disgust. I think David was passed out on Rebecca's lap. In an interview, Rebecca says that if Stephanie asked Nathan to quit drinking or she would break up with him, he would quit drinking, but he doesn't see his drinking as a problem.
Stephanie talks to Rebecca. Across the room, Nathan confides in Janet that he doesn't want to tell Stephanie about Lisa. Janet says he's just drunk. Nathan starts crying again and says he loves Stephanie and wants to marry her. Janet tells him to stop feeling sorry for himself, because he is an incredible person. Who cheated on his girlfriend. Stephanie walks over and notices that Nathan's crying, but Nathan tries to play it off like he's upset about the money he spent at the bar. In an interview, Nathan says that there were four or five times that he "almost blurted it out and told her." Stephanie asks again why he's upset, and Nathan cries some more. Stephanie asks him to come with her, and starts walking away. Nathan yells at her for walking away. God, drunken people are annoying sometimes. As Stephanie leaves, Nathan continues to talk to himself, saying, "She'll probably be pretty excited when she finds out that I cheated on her." Then he cries some more.
The alarm clock goes off at 4:02 AM so that Stephanie can get up and to the airport. Nathan finally made it to bed, but he doesn't hear it. Neither does Stephanie, or David, or Stephen, who are also all sleeping in the room. Suddenly, it's 5:33 AM. Stephen calls to Stephanie and asks what time her flight leaves. Stephanie takes a moment to gain consciousness, but then realizes that her flight leaves in less than half an hour. She tries to wake Nathan up, but he mumbles, "It's okay." Stephanie can't exactly spring out of bed, because she's naked. I think it's pretty inconsiderate to sleep naked when there are two other guys in the room, but maybe that's just me. Stephanie is still trying to get Nathan to haul ass out of bed while she gets dressed, but he doesn't quite seem to get it at first. In an interview, Nathan says that they got up at 5:45 AM and the flight left at 6:10 AM. They walk out the door, and Stephanie screeches that they only have ten minutes. Nathan tells her to get off his case. You know, if he has seventy-five dollars to spend at the bar, you'd think he could also afford to buy her another ticket if she couldn't change the time on that one.
They hustle into the car and take off. Where are the friends who came with her? I guess they had different flights. They pull into the airport at 6:01 AM. In an interview, Nathan says that if they hadn't been drinking, they would have been up on time and had plenty of time to say goodbye at the airport. He didn't get to hug her and tell her how much he loves her. Or that he cheated on her. Nathan runs into the airport, but I guess her flight boarded already, because suddenly he's back at the car. He voice-overs that he's drinking a lot, and that it might have ruined his relationship with Stephanie.
Back at the house, Nathan sits in the car, and probably cries. You can't see his face, but at this point, can't we just assume? He voice-overs that he doesn't know what's going to happen when he goes home, which is "the worst feeling [he's] ever had." In an interview, Nathan (surprise!) cries and says that, in the past few weeks, he's imagined a future without Stephanie, and he doesn't like the way it feels. Man, either he's putting on a bravura performance, or he really loves her. Loved her. Nathan sits on the bed in the dark and puts his head in his hands.
Guess what? In the episode, they leave the house!