Wes is hanging out at a bar talking to Wren's gaping pointy open mouth; he wants to get serious with her, but she doesn't want to. Johanna talks shit about Wren and drunkenly tries to give Wes advice about his sexual frustration as they walk home. Rachel eats a wiener. The Dorks of Docs invite the kids to a documentary screening of DIG! on Friday night, and Wes and Danny refuse to go. Neh babbles that their little doc will help his career. It won't. Meanwhile, Wes goes to their dumb bar. Wes makes out with Wren's stupid face. Wes starts getting bored because Wren won't fuck him. The DIG! director agrees to help the kids with their project; she comes by and watches the awful footage and gives Neh advice. The DIG! lady invites Neh to intern with her after the show is over. Ah, invited to do free labor! That's dope. Wes bitches to Neh about Wren. Joanne and Wes flirt in the bathroom. The kids go to their terrible bar. Wes makes out with Johanna, to Wren's dismay. Wren gets jealous and takes him home for sex. Lacey bitches about Neh slacking on the editing. David the doc dork comes by and is disappointed by the non-progress on the cut. Lacey judges Neh. Most of the guys go out -- including Neh, who is supposed to be working. Wes talks about fucking Wren; Johanna and the girls think it isn't classy of him to kiss and tell. Meanwhile, while Neh is supposed to be editing, he stays out really late instead. Wes is home and is pretty sure Neh is blitzed right now somewhere and he's worried about him. Sure enough, Wes gets a call from Neh...in jail.
Bar. Wes's Skeletor "girl" Wren's nose job and gaping mouth and ninety-pound frame are somehow making Wes all sweaty. She tells Wes that she doesn't understand him, being very coy and dry and uncaring in a caring sort of sorority-girl way. He says he doesn't understand her. I'll translate: I speak Moron: she is trying to deflect his flirty conversation with misdirection, aiming to remain on camera for as long as possible while somehow staving off having to have his ghostly appendage anywhere near her. Wes is trying to say he needs some of Wren's no-booty soon. Wes camera-pales that he's let Wren know that he needs to get "serious," but that she doesn't seem to want to get serious. Yeah, seriously infected with HPV and a few other diseases I can't spell, but that have a lot of h's and y's in them. Johanna, clearly mad for some reason, camera-talks that the only reason Wes likes Wren is that all his other hos are easy and she played hard-to-get. Johanna frowns. Then suddenly she laughs maniacally. Ack.
Street. Johanna throats a wiener. Rachel and Wes accompany her as they stumble home down the street. Wes announces that his pasty Schmoo cock is frustrated, and he wonders aloud if he's not getting play because he's hanging out at the bar with Johanna. No, it's because he's hanging out with himself. He should really stop that if he wants any play. Johanna slurs, wondering why this "sexual feeling" is bothering Wes so much. He asks her to be more specific. She says, "You wanna fuck someone." He says she's wrong. Johanna pushes, and Wes finally says that his "problem" of not getting laid is due to his choosing to take on five different beautiful girls at once, splitting his time and spoiling his chances. Yeah, that's your problem, Casper. Johanna finds this just as 'tarded as I do, and laughs, and Wes gives her a very annoyed look. She apologizes but finds the idea that he'd get laid if he only wasn't surrounded by so many hotties as dumb as I do. They stumble on, and he pushes forward, mad, walking ahead of them. Further on, Johanna -- drunk as usual -- says that Wes usually gets "decent" girls, but that right now, for some reason, he's getting really good-looking girls (herself), so he should pick the good-looking ones and stop going for the ugly ones (Wren).
Warehouse. Neh and Wes lethargically shoot mini-hoops. I guess Rachel body-checking the machine to try to get some punker stank didn't actually break it too badly. Neh tells Wes that he should go ahead and "wifey up" Wren. (I hate all their slang. Hate.) Wes says he's not going to -- that just because Wren is in the "lead" doesn't mean that Wren is Wes's girlfriend. God, if those boys actually got half as much ass as they claim to...well, they'd actually get laid occasionally. Wes camera-talks that he's still single, so he gets to do what he wants and have a good time. Yes, but doesn't a girl actually have to consent to letting you have a "good time" with her? See, that's your stumbling block. The whole permission thing.
Austin. Don't Walk sign. Capital. Capital. Warehouse. Window. Bathroom. Danny and Mel. Wes wakes up. Mel and Danny tell Wes -- who is sleeping on the Big Round Bed Of Gay, for some reason -- that the Dorks of Docs called and told them that the kids have to come to a screening of some documentary that night, Friday, at 8. Wes camera-ghouls that there is no way he's going to "work" on a Friday night. ["If I have to, so does freaking Wes." -- Wing Chun]
Swimming pool. Mel, in the pool, stands between Danny's feet; he sits on the edge, clearly afraid to get his head wet lest too much water seep into his caved-in face. Wes bitches to the others that he can't believe the Dorks of Docs would invite them with such late notice. Neh announces that he's going because of his "future," but won't be mad if the others don't go. Neh says that the doc dorks want to introduce him to some people. He dead-faced camera-talks that the more people he meets in his "field," the easier it's going to be for him to get a job later. Mel makes a terribly racist (and anachronistic, decade-wise) comment about Neh actually being on Yo! MTV Raps. Well, clearly he won't be on that show for his rapping.
While a terrible nonsense song about a "film party" plays, the kids get dressed for the documentary screening. They get in cabs, leaving Wes and Danny alone. Neh camera-talks that it doesn't bother him that the boys aren't going, and that none of them have a future in feature films. Neither do you, buddy.
Austin Film Society. Head doc dork Paul talks to the housemates about their project and how they're going to have a "big screening" of it. Is it going to be at an Amtrak station? because I have the feeling it's going to be a train wreck. Neh camera-tools that this is an opportunity, and that he's going to be the one doing the rest of the terrible work on their terrible film.
The screening is for the great rock doc DIG! in the tiny little Austin Film Society trailer. They meet the director, Ondi Timoner. Neh camera-talks about Ondi's doc being about a pair of bands becoming rivals, and then says that Ondi's film and the kids' are "so similar." Sure, in that they both, you know, involved pointing cameras at things. Paul tells them that, after the screening, they'll go "door" to talk about things. The screening takes place.
Meanwhile. Night. Austin. River. Dizzy Rooster. Wren is kind of all over Wes, his hand on her tiny ass. They make out. They laugh. In her horrible, squeaky voice, she says something about laughing because every time she tries to sneak a kiss (from either Wes or some other guy?), "he" kisses her. Then she says she doesn't even care. Wes says, "You don't even care? Let's go home and fuck right now, then." She acts all surprised and shocked and tells him not to say that. Then, smiling, she drawls that she can't believe Wes just said that. She says it's a bad word, and he asks what would she call it instead. I'd call it The Legend of Zorro -- you know, something I really don't want to see. He jokes that he'll change it to "making babies," and Wren says that she doesn't want to make babies. Good, because I don't think a fetus would find any nutrition inside that body. More drunk hanging out and dancing. In a terribly cut-up snatch (heh) of dialogue, Wes says that the combo of him and Wren not being sexual and her not opening up more about herself is causing him to get bored with her.
Austin. River. Documentary. Johanna tells us that DIG! ended up being really good and a lot of fun to watch. The screening is over, and Ondi stands in front and everyone claps. I wonder, over the seven years it took to make it, how many of the guys from the two huge bands she hung out with all the time Ondi had sex with. Why am I thinking these things? To try to keep myself entertained during The Real World. I'm sure you have your tricks, too. Neh camera-tools about how long it took to make her doc, and that his hat is off to her. He's not wearing a hat. That's Danny's thing.
door. Little trailer. The housemates give Ondi notes. Hee. Mel thought it was amazing. Ondi thanks Mel very much. Ondi then asks them about their doc. She says she'll come over tomorrow and give them her two cents, but only if they want her to. They do. Smart kids, for once. Lacey agrees that Ondi's opinions will help them.
Warehouse. Day. Wes and Danny and Neh sit around; the editing is very weird, lending us to believe that it's awkward and tense and that we should somehow care, but it's not awkward or tense between the characters; it's just strangely edited. Wes talks about how he and Wren have hit a "plateau." He then camera-pales that "at the beginning of Wren and I's [sic] relationship..." What a maroon. He says that things were moving very fast at the beginning, but that now they're not, and that he always has ADD in relationships, and really, as usual, he's saying nothing. Danny hypothesizes that the problem is that Wes wants to have sex with Wren, but that she won't let him. He lies that it's not about sex. He says that there are two Wrens: the one he knows and likes, and then the one in front of the camera. Oh, Jesus, who cares? Aren't you supposed to "show," not "tell," in drama? Man, B/M should have Ondi watch and give notes on this footage instead. The Boys With Avids love editing weird shots of Wes's confessionals where he just makes funny faces. That goes on, and then, over a long shot of the warehouse, he says, "Great girl, wrong time." Terrible show. Terrible time. Commercials.
Austin. Austin. Buildings. Buildings. Warehouse. Ah, more riveting footage of Neh editing. Dope. Upstairs, Mel lets Ondi in. They don't have a boob-off, but they could; I suspect it might be a draw. Mel wears whore shorts, clearly dressed up for Ondi. Klassy. She leads her to the editing room, where Neh is even more klassy, dressed in a DIG! shirt and sweats. Either he's trying to show Ondi that he liked the film, or the boy had no clothes until he got this free shit last night. Neh camera-talks that DIG! was one of the greatest inspirations to him. Uh, didn't he just see it last night?
Neh shows Ondi their terrible doc and she watches blankly.
Shots of the doc. Shots of the doc. Lacey is there, presumably because her boyfriend wised up and got Caller ID. Ondi wakes up briefly at one section and says that a shot is good, asking if that was Neh. He nods, but so small, you just know he's lying. She starts giving advice about laying the music down first and editing to that, and to the specific beats of the music. She gives more advice, and then Neh tells us Ondi said that her biggest problem was making her movie "flow," and coincidentally, that's their biggest problem, too! You know, I probably would have put "it sucks" before "flow" on the list of problems for their movie, but then again, I didn't get an AB degree in film from a community college. Ondi asks if it's all on Neh's shoulders, and he says it is. Lacey quickly jumps in, saying that she did a lot of work and that Neh did nothing -- but she quickly lies that she's just kidding. Neh has smartly learned to ignore Lacey, and then tells us that he's not making a big deal that he's doing most of the work, and that he knows Paul knows it's all him. See, Neh, I've learned in fact not to claim ownership of sub-par efforts, especially when they are, in fact, mine. Ondi wishes them luck. They're going to need it.
Austin. Day. Building. Clouds. Capital. Ondi walks Neh out. She offers him an internship (free labor? Hell yeah!) when he's done on this crappy show (sooner than you think, hoss). He camera-talks that Ondi offered him a "position," and that just getting that is an accomplishment. Sure. When I ask homeless people to wash my car for free, they should feel very happy. Ondi babbles that Neh should get one of the girls at least to sit with him while he's editing, to give him feedback and bring energy into the room. And boobs.
Austin. Bridge. Water. Buildings. Duck. Editing. Neh watches footage. Alone. No energy. Silent clips of him in a silent confessional, just staring. Wow, I imagine it's not coincidence that these editors perked right up and got creative when editing a clip about the lonely nature of editing. Very meta, boys. Neh, having a hard time, says he knew he could just sit down thinking he can't do it and end up exactly where he was yesterday, but that he can't let that happen.
Night. Austin. Austin. Warehouse. Outside in front. Wes and Neh sit on a bench. Wes wants to see what it's like hanging out with Johanna "after" all this. Neh smiles while Wes babbles, knowing that if he wanted to be bored stiff, he could just go back inside and edit some more. Wes drones on that when he's with Johanna it's an "8," and that if they got busy, he thinks it would be even higher. Neh laughs, "Never Gonna Get It" playing in his head. Wes says that when he's with Wren, however, it's never nearly that much fun: "And that's just not fun to me." He says that there are some girls who would be able to "settle" him down, but that Wren just isn't one. Poor Neh. Neh wishes his free internship were beginning that moment.
Bathroom. Vampy music plays. Johanna gets ready to go out. Wes is in the shower talking to her about times he's tried to kiss her. She says that most of the times he's tried and she's laughed, it's just been because the timing was inappropriate and that he was "fucked up." Wes says he hopes neither of them finds "groupies" tonight so that they can make out again. VOMIT! Johanna then camera-drunks that Wes is fun to flirt with -- that he's "uncomplicated." (Read: stupid.) They continue to talk about how they're both uncomplicated, and then he says that if she thinks it works now, she should see what happens after they have sex. That'll show how uncomplicated they are. She laughs, and then leaves immediately. Smart girl.
Their terrible bar where clearly they go because B/M pays their bar tab. Hell, under those circumstances, I'd go every night and get fucked up, too. Wren and Johanna fake hug. Wes talks with Wren. Johanna drinks. She asks Wes to dance on the completely empty dance floor. The roommates all watch as if something were going to happen. Then something does happen: Wes and Johanna start making out. Grody. Wren watches also, twin emotions of jealousy and oh so much hunger warring within her. More making out, Johanna now having been pushed up against a wall. Commercials.
Back. Night. Austin. City. Dance floor. Wes's saggy pants push up against Johanna. He grinds on her playfully, and she asks him if Wren is there at the bar. She camera-talks, looking like a sad puppy, that she knows Wren likes Wes a lot (don't think so) and that she doesn't want to be all over him in front of her (too late). Johanna walks away from Wes, clutching her heaving bosom and looking concerned. Then she immediately starts dancing. Heh.
Wes then goes up to claim the girl-jealous spoils of war. And indeed, Wren comes up and asks, "Where's your girlfriend?" She then laughs that she's just playing around. Wes camera-talks that making out with Johanna was totally to make Wren jealous...and we see them hanging out now and Wren's tongue is sticking out of her teeth like it does; she asks why Wes is just staring at her without saying anything, but she's smiling while she's saying it. Or the hunger is getting to be too much. Wilting. Wilting...Wes goes on to say that "it" worked. We see them walk away together down the street.
morning. Warehouse. Bathroom. Danny stands around as Wes showers. Danny asks if Wren was any good. Wes responds that she was "quite impressive," and then says something about "thirty seconds." Danny laughs. Wes camera-talks, extremely tastefully, that Wren took him back to her apartment and that they did "something" they've been waiting to do off-camera the entire time he's known her. Over an aerial shot of the warehouse, Danny jokes about Wes giving her the best "thirty-five seconds of her life." Wes laughs. I VomitWeep!
Day. Building. Field. Buildings. Skyline. Ah, of course. Lacey in the phone room having a conversation with talking to Ryan, her boyfriend and future father to her...adopted children. They talk about how the doc isn't done. Ryan wonders if that's Neh's job, as he understood it to be. Intercut with shots of Neh fucking around with a basketball while wearing a Halifax shirt (okay, that's settled -- the boy loves him some free clothing!) is Lacey wondering aloud to Ryan why Neh doesn't just edit the thing so that they can hear from their instructors what's wrong sooner and he can fix it. Ha. Lacey camera-whines that she and Rachel "sub-clipped" all the footage, so now Neh should just put it together. Suddenly, Neh is camera-talking about how everyone has days when they just can't work.
Dusk. Buildings. Sunset. David, doc dork, arrives. He finds Neh sleeping on the Big Round Bed of Gay. He wakes Neh up. Very professional, Neh! Well, I guess now that Neh has a HUGE HOLLYWOOD JOB, interning for the director of DIG! at the Austin Film Society, he has no need impress anyone else. Good work. David asks Neh where he is with the footage. "Nowhere," Neh responds. Welll, at least he's honest.
Editing room. They watch. Lacey is there, of course. Apparently, the piece is exactly the same as it was yesterday, according to Lacey, helpful as always. David says that it's "there," and that Neh just needs to cut it together. Isn't that what editing means? David passive-aggressively says that he'd hoped Neh would be further along, adding that he'll come back the afternoon, and that he wants to see a lot of progress by then. Man, now that they gave the kids their clearly-undeserved trip, they blew their wad; they have nothing to hold over them anymore. Bad move, Paul. Bad move. Neh and Lacey sit there. Neh camera-talks that he's the only one working, and that while he made minor changes, David wasn't happy; now he's stressed out and doesn't know what to do. More sitting there. Finally, Neh leaves. Lacey then takes the reins, sitting at the console (ha, right), telling us that now Neh needs to work harder and show that he can "craft something amazing" with "his love and his skill." Uh, no he can't.
Night. Bar. The kids sit around drinking at a table with people we don't know. Neh is there as well.
Meanwhile, at the warehouse. Lacey tries to edit. She tells us she's frustrated by inactivity, but that she can't fix the doc because she didn't learn "Avid" in school. She apparently didn't learn "Proper Lipstick Application" in school either.
Bar. More drinking. Rachel comes up to Johanna and tells her that Wes is bragging about having "fucked" Wren. Johanna tells us she doesn't think it's very "cool" of "Wes" (and she puts his name in finger-quotes, hysterically) to brag about it. Yeah, nor is it really anything to brag about.
The kids all leave to go to another bar, Neh camera-talks, adding that he stayed a little longer. Shots of empty streets. American Beauty music. What's going on?
Warehouse. Lacey tells Rachel that Paul called, wondering why Neh isn't there working on the doc. Rachel says that they need to do work on it themselves, then. Lacey says, "No, you did your job." She bitches on that this is Neh's job -- belittling him for claiming to love editing, yet again -- and adding that he's not even home yet.
Later. 2:33 AM. Lacey and Wes wonder where Neh is. Wes thinks he was drinking a lot, and then recounts a night in the past when Neh was drunk and he was trying to fight everyone on the street. We see flashbacks of Neh trying to fight everyone on the street. Wes says he's seen Neh get really belligerent.
Later. The phone rings. Wes answers. It's a recorded voice with Neh calling collect...from jail. Wes makes an amused/stunned face.
On the : Wes finds out that Neh is in jail and wonders what he did and how to get him out. Danny's caved-in face informs the others that Neh assaulted someone, that person pressed charges, and they're looking at $5000 for bail. Whoa. David asks the kids if they're going to be ready for the big screening; they admit that they have no idea how to do this without Neh.