Previously on The Real World: Tonya and Theo arrived at the apartment and totally hated it. Theo thought Aneesa was ugly. Cara has always been single, and is now looking for a steady boyfriend. Theo marched in the Gay Pride Parade. Chris joined him. Or it might actually be the opposite of all that.
The roommates decide to take in the lovely sights at the beaches of Lake Michigan. All of the women wear bikinis. Cara (who, as suggested by 300_Spartans, will be known as Cara Jessica Parker -- but to adjust to my laziness factor, will be referred to in the recaps as CJP) introduces herself to a dude named Jason. In an interview, Keri explains that this is the first time Cara has been single and able to meet and greet. CJP digs Jason. Aneesa encourages CJP to give Jason her number, but CJP isn't sure how to accomplish that. She finally writes it down and hands it to him, acknowledging the awkwardness of the situation. CJP is super-super-skinny. Much like SJP. Thus the name. CJP explains how nervous she was to give Jason her number. He programs it into his cell phone. Is that what the kids do these days?
On the El, CJP tells Chris that she feels "so lame" because she still gets a self-esteem boost from having men like her. She thinks it was one thing when she was fifteen, but now she should "get over it." Chris recovery-speaks that she needs to "heal that issue" and "correct that behavior" before it becomes a pattern. CJP knows that she should be able to find confidence in herself, or in her friends and family. Okay, really just herself. Anyway, she thinks that the first step is breaking up with Jared, and I'm sorry, but every time she says his name, I just think of the formerly fat Subway dude and it makes me laugh. In an interview, CJP explains that she broke up with Jared because she was moving to a new city and needed to try being alone. Chris asks if things are awkward when she talks to Jared. CJP says that they are sometimes, but other times things are nice and friendly.
At home, CJP talks to Jared on the phone while cleaning her nails. She tells him that she's looking at "the three-month picture." Wait, did they take photos on each of their monthly anniversaries? Because that's kind of sappy. And then when she says "three-month picture," he immediately knows which one she's talking about. Jared asks the point of breaking up. CJP says that she didn't want to be that serious. Jared asks if she's looking for something better. CJP says that she doesn't think that there necessarily is someone better than him, but that she doesn't want to be married. Jared? Run away. You are clearly ready to settle down. She is not. You can't force her to be. You are the one who can do better, by finding someone who is in agreement with you in terms of the type of relationship you want. CJP explains that she wants to date and not be tied down to one person. Tonya walks over and sets a piece of paper down to CJP, for some reason. Is Tonya feeding her lines?
Kyle, Tonya, Keri, and CJP take a cab somewhere. Tonya asks what CJP thinks about Chris. CJP has nothing but good things to say. Tonya asks, "Does he like women?" CJP absolutely thinks that he does, and adds, "If he's gay, he doesn't know it." Kyle begs to differ; he thinks that Chris is gay, and that he knows it. Tonya agrees. CJP pieces it together -- Chris wears Diesel jeans and has more facial products than she does. Oh my God! He's a gay! thing you know, she's going to say that he's thin, neat, and likes to vacuum. In an interview, CJP says that she has "no problem with people who are gay." Back in the cab, CJP adds another piece of damning evidence -- Chris kisses her on the forehead a lot. Wow. I'm totally convinced. I mean, if I didn't already know that he is gay. Kyle suggests that they shouldn't all run into the apartment and grill Chris on his sexual orientation. Because Chris is "very sensitive." Because he's gay. Keri adds that if Chris wants to tell them, he will.
Chris calls his friend Chuck on the phone. Chris says that he's at the house and that he's met everyone. Chris adds that he hasn't come out yet, except to one girl. Chuck agrees that it might take a while. In an interview, Chris says that he was ashamed of being gay for a long time, and that he hopes that he can come out and be accepted. It's funny that they juxtaposed those two scenes. All of the other roommates totally already know, and Chris is totally sweating it. Heh.
The doorbell rings, and Theo starts singing a song to CJP about her impending date with Jason. In an interview, CJP says that she's "excited and a little bit nervous." As she goes to leave, Aneesa asks what will happen if things get serious. CJP pauses and explains that Jason already told her that there is so much that he'd like to show her in the city. CJP thought that they should start with one date. In fact, he should kiss her first, and then he can show her the city. Aneesa adds, "Or his penis." Heh. CJP laughs and goes off on her date.
CJP and Jason go to Navy Pier on their date. CJP explains that she would like to move to Los Angeles. Jason is oddly sweaty. CJP has lived in Boston her whole life, and Jason notes that she doesn't have a Boston accent. In an interview, CJP explains that she wanted Keri and Kyle to join them for moral support. The four young lovers decide to go on the giant Ferris wheel. And then Jason has to go. In an interview, CJP explains that it was "the shortest date in history" because Jason had to go to California for business. Kyle, Keri, and CJP dish on him. Kyle thinks that Jason was a really nice guy. CJP yells out, "Nothing but! Nothing but!" In an interview, CJP says that while Jason was nice, he really didn't do it for her. In the two hours she spent with him. Or course, there will be plenty of "doing" later, but I'm getting ahead of myself. CJP shows Keri how awkward her goodbye with Jason was, and Keri really could not seem less interested. CJP reports that Jason thought that Kyle was gay. Kyle is pretty low-key about the whole thing, saying that it's nothing that he hasn't dealt with before. They try to make it out like Kyle is really upset by showing him walking around and looking at things by himself, but I really think that he was just walking around and looking at things. I'm not saying that it's not possible that Kyle was upset; I'm saying that Kyle seems way too controlled to show it if he were.
Kyle and Chris walk down the street. Apparently, Chris finally came out to Kyle, who is, of course, totally cool about it. Kyle doesn't "believe in labels like that." Kyle uses the example of how he doesn't introduce himself, "Hey, I'm Kyle. I'm hetero." I don't think that Kyle is really homophobic, but I also get the impression that he's trying way too hard to be cool about this for the cameras. In an interview, Chris says that while he loves men, it's not the only thing about him. Chris has a date that night. Kyle asks if Chris has told any of the other roommates yet, and Chris say that he's only told Aneesa.
Suddenly, Tonya is there, too. Chris tells her that he's gay. Tonya says that she knew and acts nonchalant. In an interview, Tonya says (and I'm quoting this so people can't accuse me of spinning it), "My interpretation of homosexual relationships is just a lot of drugs, a lot of sin." Wuh? Where did that come from? Well, maybe I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she was asked what her feelings on gay relationships were growing up or something. I mean, little Tonya couldn't be that homophobic, right?
CJP asks Chris when he came out. Chris explains that he was eighteen, and he told his mom first. His mom told him to talk to the family priest, and it could be cured. In an interview, CJP says that Chris is brave for being there, when there are so many close-minded people who will "never understand or support his lifestyle." I have got to tell CJP that if she wants to appear all cool with the gays, she might want to avoid using the word "lifestyle." It definitely has a negative connotation, you know? Like , you expect her to start talking about the homosexual agenda and how they try to convert people to their evil ways. Chris says that he didn't have trouble coming out to his friends. CJP asks why that was, and Chris laughs and says that he eliminated all of his straight friends, and found all new gay ones. Chris says that it was tough to hang out with his guy friends. In an interview, CJP says that Chris is probably afraid to come out to Theo, because he knows that Theo doesn't approve of his "lifestyle." There's that word again.
Theo and Aneesa drive somewhere in the van. Aneesa asks Theo if he's homophobic. Theo says he doesn't have a problem unless gay guys hit on him. Okay, first of all, don't flatter yourself. And second of all, even if some guy did hit on Theo, why couldn't Theo just say no? What is so scary about that? I really just don't understand homophobia. I fail to see the logic. Theo tells a story about how he and his mom used to go to some church convention and one time, a guy hit on him and Theo didn't even know it, because the guy was so smooth. So how did he find out? In an interview, Aneesa says that she thinks Theo will be the one who might have a problem with Chris. Theo comments that he's surprised that they don't have a gay guy in the house. Aneesa says, "You never know what happens."
The morning, Theo comes in and teases CJP about where she was last night. He asks if she got naked, and she will only say, "Maybe. Maybe not." CJP says that the lead singer was a great kisser and couldn't have been gentler. In an interview, Theo says that people are going to think that CJP is easy, and maybe she should tone it down. CJP claims that she has "testosterone all over her hands." Again, ew! I don't even want to think of the implications of that claim. In an interview, CJP says that it's "kind of thrilling" to hook up with rock star, and yet she feels like "a loser and a groupie admitting that." CJP tells someone that all she could think about was what a good singer he was, and then she sing-songs, "I made out with a rock star." Okay, look. I have no problem with CJP sleeping with whomever she chooses, as often as she chooses. But I hate to say it -- Jared is right. Now her parents and the rest of her family are all going to be faced with her actions. Is that what she wants, really? Maybe she does. I don't know. The other thing that bugs me about CJP is that she has this way of being self-deprecating and admitting her flaws (like "I always have to have a boyfriend" or "Boys give me an ego boost" or "I feel like a groupie,") and thus makes the dig before you can judge her. But then she goes ahead and gloats about it anyway. I don't know. It's just annoying. It's like, if she can recognize the bad behavior, why doesn't she just not do it in the first place?
Chris prepares for his date with some dude named Kurt. Chris is awfully cute. He asks the girls what color shoes he should wear. CJP runs down the reasons why his shoes go with his shirt. Chris looks in the mirror and comments, "Gorgeous." Chris asks Tonya if she wants to go down and get his date and bring him up. Tonya claims that she can't, because she looks terrible. But, um, she's on television? So she looks too bad to meet Chris's friend, but not bad enough to avoid the cameras somehow? That just didn't make sense to me. In an interview, Tonya says that she's feeling uncomfortable because she doesn't "agree with homosexuality." Man, homosexuality never picked any fights with her. She adds, "I'm not going to act as if I agree with it when I don't." That's a nice thing to say, but...she's totally been acting like she's fine with it. Maybe she's just trying to be polite to Chris, but don't claim that you won't act the way you've been acting all along. Tonya's on my list. Chris goes on his date.
CJP talks to a new friend, Nick, who asks if she's busy that night. In an interview, CJP explains that she and Nick went to college together, and dated a little bit. CJP invites her roommates to go out with Nick and his friend. Theo doesn't want to get in the way, but CJP claims that she and Nick are just friends. She's also buffing her nails. She is kind of obsessed with her nails. CJP claims that friends can sleep together.
Chris and Kurt come back to the apartment. In an interview, Chris says that he doesn't want to live in fear of having boyfriends or gay friends over. Chris introduces Kurt to Kyle. Theo is on the phone, so he doesn't get an introduction. In an interview, Theo says that he suspected Chris was gay, but that he didn't want to come right out and ask. Chris introduces Kurt to Aneesa and Keri. Chris runs into his bedroom and shoves all of the clothes on his bed underneath it. Heh. In an interview, Aneesa says that Kurt is sweet and smart, and hot. Kurt shows pictures to the roommates, and even Theo gets involved in the conversation.
Theo and Kyle agree that it's not a big deal, because they are secure in their collective manhood. Chris and Kurt leave the house. Theo says that he's not worried about Chris doing anything to them, because he "knows his boundaries." Kyle explains that his friends from home were giving him shit about rooming with a gay guy, and Theo labels that "ignorance." When did Theo become so cool about the gays? This is so confusing. In an interview, Theo says that as long as Chris doesn't try anything, they'll be cool. Outside, Chris and Kurt hug goodnight. Kyle tells Theo that there's no reason Chris would jump him any more than Cara would. Theo agrees, and then adds that he wouldn't mind if Cara did. Both boys are really happy and relieved to be talking about man-woman sex again.
CJP brings Nick home. Tonya wants to get a look at him, but she doesn't have her contacts in. Nick is...kind of doofy-looking. CJP adds, "Once in a while, we sleep together." Tonya is shocked. In an interview, CJP says that it's comforting to be hanging out with someone she knows. She adds that Nick knows Jared, so it's a little uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that they hop right into bed together. And yet they are fully clothed. For now. Tonya says that seeing "a man and a woman in bed together" makes her miss Justin. CJP voice-overs that she refuses to feel guilty because she and Jared aren't dating anymore. Nick pulls the blankets over their heads. Cut to night-vision cam, which shows them making out on top of the covers. When did they get rid of the covers? And why? I'm not even entirely sure that was Nick in bed with her.
The morning, CJP shows Nick out. In an interview, CJP says that she has been intimate with several men, and "there is a sort of promiscuity implied" by going on three dates in one week. Nick leaves. CJP voice-overs that it's the first time in her life that she's been single. Wait. It is? Because I totally didn't get that. Except that I did. We all did. CJP adds that it feels lonely, but also empowering. The camera cuts to the three-month picture, in case you forgot about old Jared, back home eating his six-inch veggie sub and a Diet Coke.
episode: the roommates start lifeguard training. Theo doesn't like to swim. Tonya might have to go to the emergency room, and if she does, she's going to go home to Walla Walla. Maybe the homosexuality stopped agreeing with her, and she had to be hospitalized.