Hug it Out, Bitches.

S02E18

Andy then reads an email from a viewer that suggests that Danielle overstated how much hair was pulled out of her head. To prove her point, Danielle brought a visual aid! It's a head in a bag! Sadly, not Ashley's. I really would like Danielle to leave this show in handcuffs. It would make this entire season so much more realistic. Danielle's head has extensions sewn into it and she has Bravo Andy try and pull them out. He does ...eventually. It is not an easy task to accomplish, but Danielle sticks by her version of events. Then Caroline asks if Danielle perjured herself in court when she said Ashley threatened to kill her. Hey maybe if she sneaks the question in there Danielle won't notice. Can't hurt to try, right? Danielle makes a serious "Bitch, please" face and turns back to Andy with a sad story of a lifetime of abuse. If true, that is tragic and also explains a lot about Danielle and her behavior. But! Get some therapy, girl, because you are FAR from healthy or stable. Then Danielle says something about not running any more and Teresa points out that she just ran. Danielle reminds her that technically she was walking. Teresa than begs someone to pay her a $100,000 to get in a ring with Danielle. Quit shilling for work, you bankrupt!

During the course of the evening, Kim G.'s name came up repeatedly. I have been ignoring in the vague hope that Kim G. will go far far away. You know how in Peter Pan [SPOILER ALERT] when Tinkerbell is ailing and you have to clap your hands if you believe in fairies and it will make her healthy again? I'm hoping to have some sort of inverse of that here. Like if we all ignore the fuck out of Kim G. she will just disappear forever. Instead, Bravo Andy intrudes an all Kim G. reel including several shots of diligent strippers trying to spare us all the sight of Kim G.'s ass crack. Despite these valiant strippers best efforts, we still see the damn thing. We also see Kim G. lying to everyone, being everyone's best friend, and generally stirring shit up.

To make matters worse, Kim G. and her seemingly brand new face appears on stage and takes a seat to Jacqueline. Andy asks her to explain why she would call Danielle a square tit, when clearly they are more tear-drop shaped. Kim G. squawks about her bad boob jobs and Danielle thinks it is anti-feminist to mock another woman's breasts. Then Caroline and Danielle get in some squabble because Danielle crossed the line-of-death dividing the couch and Caroline got upset. Then Danielle accuses Caroline of invoking Kim G.'s presence and Caroline denies it until Andy reminds her that she totally did. Caroline then remembers that she has some Very Important Questions for Kim G. that will make Danielle look like a lying liar who lies. Like Danielle needs any help looking like that. Kim G. does everything she can to make her look good (unlikely) and Danielle look bad (likely). Caroline still won't go out for lunch with Kim G., though.