By LuluBates
Jacqueline heads to shaving enthusiast Caroline's house to talk about the only subject the two are seemingly capable of talking about: Danielle. It's hard to tell whether Danielle is truly the only topic of conversation between the sisters-in-law or whether Bravo is so intent on making Danielle happen that they edit out everything else so all we ever see is Jacqueline and Caroline talking about Danielle. I am pretty sure it is the latter, but come on, Bravo. If these two women are so boring that you have to spoon feed them topics of conversation, why did you cast them in the first place? That said, Jacqueline Laurita's Twitter feed (oh shut up, I do it for you!) is full of nothing but Danielle hate and the occasional spurt of puppy love. At this point I would prefer hearing about the Manzo family gun collection or Lauren and Vito's love affair or more about Caroline's beauty rituals to any more about Danielle vs. The Manzos. Okay, truthfully, I would prefer watching my dog lick his foot for an hour, but someone has to watch this show.
Jacqueline tells Caroline that she confronted Kim G. about her decision to go to court with Danielle as a witness against Ashley. That is the most complicated sentence I have ever written. Kim G. swears she just did it as a favor to Danielle, but this does not mean that she and Jacqueline can't be friends, right? Right? For some reason, Jacqueline agrees that she and Kim G. can still be friends. This, even though Kim G. may help land Ashley in the clink. Or maybe in a bright orange jumpsuit picking up trash on the side of the Turnpike. That could really affect her future in fashion merchandising. Although, it would probably give her cred if she opts for music management.
Caroline, who has stepped away from the Danielle fray to focus on her new role as the Yoda of the Manzo family, offers Jacqueline some advice: Stay away from Danielle. Also, Kim G. Jacqueline is so stressed out over her fake friend Kim G. helping put her baby girl in jail that she is eating a week's worth of Weight Watchers points in one Pop Tart. Then Caroline and Jacqueline try and figure out why Danielle would press charges against Ashley. I have no comment, because it is all stupid. Danielle is well within her rights to charge Ashley, but Danielle is also bat shit crazy, so there you go.
Jacqueline and Chris are spending date night at Giudice Manor. While the men sip their vino out of reasonably-sized glasses, the ladies have opted for full-sized super big gulp wine glasses so they can chug their cabernets in style. The glasses are so large they probably had to empty TWO boxes of wine in order to fill them. The ladies send their menfolk downstairs to talk so they can talk about their new Ed Hardy vajazzlings. Also, obviously, diamonds. Always diamonds. You see, Teresa wants diamonds for her 10th anniversary. They would have been married 15 years, but it's only been legal to marry a slab of mortadella in New Jersey for ten years. They were the first ones at the courthouse! Jacqueline wonders if Teresa would settle for the crown jewels, but Teresa scoffs that she's not Arabic. Jacqueline starts cracking up at how much brain damage her friend has. Hey, Jacqueline, it's not funny! Huffing Axe Body Spray for ten years can take a toll on a lady! Teresa doesn't get why her completely misdirected racism is so funny. What? Are the crown jewels Indian? Should she have done her Apu impersonation instead? What? What?
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