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So, only one of them died. But you won't guess which one! It is Miranda, the coolest one. So she's dead. Luke and Olivia waste no time in making a lot of noise about this, despite not giving a shit about Miranda who they barely even met, and we get an eye- and earful of the Twins's Mom as she goes after first Remy's Dad (for publicizing her possible husbandcide) and then the Chief of Police (presumably for suspecting but not proving her husbandcide).
The Grunwald strong-arms Collins into taking Caleb home with them, so at least he's got a place to live for now, and then he has a dream where dead Miranda appears and tells him to go get her purse out of Remy's totaled car. Even though he doesn't believe in nonsense, he's still determined to get that purse. But nobody told him and Remy that the junkyard was haunted, so then they almost die.
There are clues suggesting Collins and the Twins's mom were having an affair, so maybe that's how their dad, the Mayor, got stabbed to death. But Olivia doesn't have time for that shit, because it turns out she is Homecoming Queen! Yeah, somewhere between getting slushied and drowned, Tess drummed up enough support that she won! Then it all goes to hell because it turns out Tess is having secret makeouts with that dude Springer, who has the weird obsession with being mean to their family.
Speaking of weird obsessions with being mean, Luke is still all over Caleb for no reason, and very against Remy striking up a friendship with him. While he's living at the mortuary, for the time being at least, he'll be going to school with them. (Their school is named after a Lovecraft character, so chew on that for a second.) After Luke saves them from the many perils of the haunted junkyard, he tries to start shit with Caleb. At no point, however, does he explain that he is also being haunted by a haunted weightroom at school, or bullied by the omnipresent and very shitty Springer.
That night, Olivia confronts her mom about a possible divorce and affair, but Mom's not having it. Meanwhile, Remy is sleepwalking into traffic at night, which goes well with her mom's night terrors but not so well with the fact that her dad clearly knows a lot more than he's telling. None of this is half as crazy as the fact that suddenly Miranda shows up in Caleb's bedroom, fully dead but still ready to chill.
What we know is that the demon girl was something only Miranda could see, and is still after her -- and all five of them -- and probably this is a Final Destination situation where Death will be coming back around for them when it can, and that this is possibly a consequence of Remy's mom living through Afghanistan. So now they still have to figure out what the curse is all about, once they get Luke to admit something is going on, but at least they have dead adorable Miranda ghosting around to help with that.
But what we really know now is that this show is about modernizing the Gothic Romance, which helps explain a lot. If you enjoyed Spencer and her candlestick roaming the halls of Radley, or the Brookhaven Doll Hospital, or the ghostly passageways and necropolis streets of the PLL Halloween Special, then that is what we are doing, I think: We are doubling down on that. Which frankly seems like a splendid idea.
Week: To get Luke onboard, the remaining Cursed Teens hold a séance in which little is probably revealed. Miranda's funeral has quite a turnout, considering nobody knows who the hell she is. Olivia goes digging where she should not be digging. Everybody's parents and parental figures act shifty, some more. And The Grunwald continues to rule 100 percent of the time.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!PREVIOUSLY
Everybody died! It was because of a gross demon girl that only Miranda can see. The Matheson Twins and their mom are the Toby Cavanaughs of town, a real rum bunch ever since Mom stabbed Dad; Remy's hot on the trail of the weird Curse that killed everybody; and Uncle Collins is all kinds of vampire nonsense. But The Grunwald abides.
FIRST RESPONDERS
After some quick work by the EMTs -- thanks for saving Olivia, dudes! -- everybody is dry and freaking out, except Miranda. So they sit around and bitch about Miranda.
Olivia: "Nice work killing all of us, Remy!"
Remy: "It was Miranda! I was just grooving to the Civil Wars and then she starts screaming. I couldn't stop her from driving us off the road."
Caleb: "Why did she do that, do you think?"
Remy: "Listen, that bridge was completely clear of demon girls from where I was sitting."
Doctors: "Well, we're losing Miranda. I guess her coming here was a bad idea."
Miranda: "I wish I wasn't the one that got away. Bye, you guys."
And so it is that Miranda drives off that last bridge. The one we call life. Everybody cries even though nobody really dug her because they didn't know how great she was. Not even her uncle got it. Caleb got it, but it didn't help. RIP Miranda Collins.
Olivia: "It really sucked when we drowned a minute ago. But I guess it's cool that we all lived. And changed into scrubs during the title card even though our clothes were already dry."
Caleb: "So wait, I can go back to Rosewood now? I better call Hanna."
Doctor: "Remy, I need to take your blood for some reason."
Remy: "No problem."
Caleb: "Problem! You have to wait for parental consent!"
Luke: "Caleb, why are you being weird about blood samples?"
Caleb: "Because of my Rosewood PTSD! They take your blood, thing you know they're smearing it on field hockey sticks and you're in jail for finding a shovel!"
Police Chief: "No, we actually have cops here in Ravenswood, not just high school dropout voyeurs with video cameras in a secret society."
Caleb: "Fine, I will calm down."
Remy's Parents: "Thank goodness you didn't die!"
Dad: "Luke was in the car? That pisses me off more than that car going in the river, or if you had died."
Chief: "Also, a little girl was killed. And your daughter was driving. So maybe be cool for like one second."
Dad: "Who was it? All of Remy's friends are like, Ira Glass and Lester Bangs."
Caleb: "You guys don't know her. She was a homeless like me. We just got here."
Dad: "Then who cares?"
Momma Matheson comes in, looking gorgeous some more. She is not having it.
Michelle: "Thank God you guys didn't die! I would have been even more miserable, if that's possible."
Chief: "I will just keep explaining over and over what happened while everybody acts weird, okay?"
Michelle Matheson: "Remy, were you driving the car?"
Remy's Dad: "Don't start, Michelle. Just because I told the town that you stabbed your husband to death doesn't mean you get to bother my daughter about almost killing your children."
Michelle: "And why is the fucking Chief of Police here?"
Chief: "It's my job? It's literally my job."
Remy's Mom and Remy feel weird feelings about blood, and Caleb bounces.
#POORCALEB
Caleb: "Hey, is my friend down here in this morgue?"
ME: "Did you know Luke and Olivia's dad was the Mayor? Then stabbed. Are you here for that Jane Doe?"
Caleb: "Her name is Miranda Collins. She's totally from here, basically. Can I sit in this morgue chair while you do paperwork?"
ME: "Sure and do you want to split this tuna sandwich?"
Caleb: "This place is so fucked up."
While he's grabbing the sammy, old Caleb starts going through Miranda's shit. Then there is a banging from inside a morgue locker, the radio starts playing old-timey music, and a nickel stands on its side. Caleb is like mildly surprised by these things all happening at once. I think after Rosewood maybe Caleb's ability to be surprised by things -- even very surprising things such as corpses banging on morgue lockers, and currency doing a dance -- is just completely burnt out. He seems curious, rather than pants-shittingly out of there.
Uncle Collins: "Oh hey, Caleb. I was just coming down here for reasons like my niece. Certainly not to feed upon the flesh of the deceased!"
Caleb: "Is it weird that I'm happy to see you?"
Collins: "No way, because I am clearly awesome. Grab your dead friend and let's take her out to the car."
Caleb: "Is there not official stuff they still need to do?"
Collins: "I run this town, bitch."
Caleb: "I think maybe we should tell her foster family, since we are her only other family."
Collins: "Don't you talk to me about her foster family. They were real dicks to me when I called them to come get her so she wouldn't die. Remember how you wouldn't leave and now she's dead? Maybe time listen to a guy when he..."
The Grunwald: "Enough jibber-jabber. Load that dead girl up so I can get home and take these witch shoes off."
Caleb hangs out near the hearse and a song about how hard it is to fit in sometimes starts playing as the other kids walk out with their parents. Everybody suddenly realizes that Caleb is homeless and only wearing scrubs and just lost his only friend and also died earlier a little bit.
The Grunwald: "Don't be naughty, Collins. Ask him home."
Collins: "Mr. Rivers, I guess do you want to come home with us?"
The Grunwald: "Say please."
Collins: "Please."
Caleb: "Okay, thanks. I didn't fancy living in the walls of a high school again so soon after moving here."
Collins spares one glance at the Widow Mayor, I guess because even a dracula feels love sometimes. Maybe enough to stab a Mayor? Who knows. He is lookin' even better this week, is old Uncle Collins. I feel so weird about this, so I want to keep being honest with you about it.
REMY
Dad: "How dare you drive off a bridge with Luke Matheson?"
Remy: "I assure you that was not my intent."
Dad: "What about the little wolf children? The boy with hair like a woman and the girl who is dead?"
Remy: "They are just my only friends, no big deal."
Mom: "Stop grillin' her, man. She's having a tough night! And she just lost her wheels."
He settles down and thinks about how his need to control everything sometimes makes him a little bit aggressive with the people he loves the most. And I guess probably how when your wife comes home from Afghanistan with night terrors, you should not make her be the cool one.
MATHESON
Michelle: "God, I love our gorgeous house. I wish it had food in it! Or, what do you even give your children when they die in a car accident? Do you guys want a Ambien? Mama wants Ambien."
Luke: "There is no food because the maid quit. Do you not even remember that?"
Michelle: "Honey, Mommy is very drunk. All of the time. Because of that stabbing. Did you know in some towns, when the Mayor dies his widow gets to be the new Mayor?"
Twins: "Is that even true?"
Michelle: "Not in this case. Not in this case."
Michelle: "First thing, nobody talks to Remy. Not because we live in Fair Verona or any of that crap, but because her Dad is a muckraker and he wants to rake our muck. Olivia, I'm sorry you got blood-slushied at our town's pathetic Homecoming, but we knew that would happen and you did it anyways, so suck it up. Rub some dirt on it."
Olivia: "How did you even know about that? It like just happened."
Michelle: "Tess called. We're like best friends. Anyway, you won Homecoming Queen."
Olivia: "Really? That's awesome."
Luke: "Way to go, sis!"
Olivia: "If that girl hadn't died in our car accident, this would be the best day ever. But it's still a pretty good day, all things considered."
Then because it has been five minutes since they cried, it's time for all of them to cry. Except Michelle, who can no longer cry. Sometimes in her weird Ambien sleep-trances she will cry, but those aren't dreams. Just unsettled souls, roaming the graveyard that we are calling a town. And occasionally when remembering the frigid, sparkling flesh of her one true love.
HEARSE
Ol' Miranda pops up in the car with Caleb and the Civil Wars song plays at top volume and he's like, "Is this a dream or are you actually here with that song playing really loud?" and Miranda explains -- in an elliptical, fabulously evocative way we recognize from every time Alison DiLaurentis would invade your drugged-out visions -- that he needs "things" from her "bag." Then she shows him the gross demon girl that killed them, and the car almost slams into her again, and he dies again! Just kidding.
#CALEBSDREAM
He was asleep in his bedroom at the mortuary, having a dream about not having a dream about Miranda. And her bag.
The Grunwald: "Bitch, you look weird."
Caleb: "Yeah, I guess I had some kind of a dream. I'm a growing boy, I get tuckered out sometimes and I don't even know it until I am asleep."
The Grunwald: "Maybe it was a dream, maybe it was a 'dream.' Have some creepy tea."
Caleb: "What are you ever talking about?"
Case in point:
The Grunwald: "Have you called Hanna? Hanna was here looking for Alison. But Alison's gone, and she's not coming back."
Caleb: "Okay, exactly what is it you do here?"
The Grunwald: "Exactly? I keep things in balance. I help when it's required. Drink your tea and have actual sleep, not just psychic weirdo dreams."
Caleb: "Where's Collins?"
The Grunwald: "Pumping out your friend's guts and replacing them with chemicals and painting her face."
Caleb: "How comforting."
The Grunwald: "But Miranda's still around. Like as an angel or a ghost."
Caleb: "I don't really 'believe' in things."
The Grunwald: "But do 'things' believe in you? Eat a macaroon and chill out, bro."
She peaces and Caleb is like, "A macaroon sounds pretty good, honestly."
REMY
Is back on the War Survivor & Five Dead Teens Curse -- usin' the internet, surfin' some Website Pages -- when she hears a sound: It's Luke, pacing around her yard, feeling romance sadness.
Remy: "We're not supposed to be talking to each other."
Luke: "I know but I feel weird because of how we died."
Remy: "Our parents are jerks. Let's make out right here in this brightly lit yard."
Luke: "I would have called first, but our phones got wet. When we died."
They are romantic some more and she even sits on a swing. I sense him about to cry again.
He immediately cries some more, and they make out. There is a strict rule of no more talking, only forehead-rubbing. I guess I can see how Luke is compelling on paper, what with the constant crying and random violence and occasionally getting bullied, and he's a good-looking kid, but my God do these Matheson kids need a personality makeover. I would say, "Maybe I don't get it because I'm not a teenage girl," but you know, and I know, that that's barely even true anyways.
COLLINS
Miranda looks dead as hell! Collins hitches her up to a dead people machine. His hair is a little mussed. He's been drinking, as we'll see. This dude is so conflicted about everything! A little Wolverine, a little Cyclops; a little c'mere, a little go-away. He's like Luke, if you didn't want to punch Luke.
Upstairs, a copy of Leaves Of Grass hurls itself in Caleb's direction, as antique hairbrushes wiggle hither and thither on a vanity, and perfume bottles bubble and roil, and earthquakes shake the house. Rather than noticing any of this going on, Caleb's just like, "Huh, a book of poetry. I could go for some poetry" and starts reading at the page where the ghosts have flipped it open and hi-lightered it.
Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.
You must travel it by yourself.
It is not far. It is within reach.
Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know.
I think it is about how all of them are going to die. How funny if every season one of them died, and then they could fight about who is cooler, the dead ones or the still-alive ones. Olivia Matheson, you are the swing vote on that one. Finally the ghost-quake shatters the mirror in Caleb's lady-bedroom, arranging a perfect faerie circle of glass around him. It's spooky, but Caleb takes it in stride. And downstairs, Collins just keeps getting ready to cut that dead girl up.
AM
Luke: "Olivia, here is a letter I found where our dad was going to leave our mom and that's why she stabbed him all over."
Olivia: "It's a little early in the morning for this."
Luke: "It is never too early to be weird and morose and say uncomfortable suppositions as though they are uncomfortable truths. My theory now includes that I think Mom was having an affair."
Olivia: "I destroy your letter! Good day, sir!"
If it was Uncle Collins, I dunno. Mayor Dad would have to be something really special for it to be this big of a drama. Like Mike O'Malley, I would get upset if I found out the town psychopomp funeral director stabbed Mike O'Malley. That man is a goddamn treasure. But if it's just Oliver Hudson or something, fuck it.
HENRY ARMITAGE HIGH SCHOOL
Hanna: "Great, so how's Miranda?"
Caleb: "Certainly not dead! I gotta go. Love you!"
Remy: "Oh hey, Caleb. Here's a hug, because what's even going on."
Caleb: "Did you know your high school is named after the librarian in Lovecraft's Dunwich Horror? Armitage refuses to release the Necronomicon to a occultist pilgrim, and then after the guy dies they figure out he was part demon, so Henry drags some of his fellow professors fight the guy's twin brother, who is full-on demon."
Remy: "That definitely sounds like something we would name our high school after."
Things I know about: Not very much. Things I don't know about: Yankee Gothic. I can do Southern horror and gothic, easy, but these northeastern things blow right past me. The card catalog in my head goes Jacobean drama, Webster, Otranto, the Villa Diodati ...n...Irving, Hawthorne, Seven Gables...n...chicks with candles, weird weather...n...Hareton Earnshaw...n...John Bellairs. Not a lot to work with. We are going to be educated.
On the other hand, that's the connective tissue we were looking for: Modern Gothic. Little ghost girls roaming the town, secret passages, familial and community curses rather than prophecies, maybe like a haunted amulet or music box. Séances and looming shadows. No wonder they can't hear the banging and the earthquakes, it's as much a part of the show as the spooky sepia tone. They're all psychic, every one of them: Engaging with the atmospherics. So if Pretty Little Liars is a Hopper painting, I guess this show's a Daphne du Maurier grand guignol.
Caleb: "Can you help me get her crap out of your car? I don't know what's in the bag and I don't believe in psychic shit, so don't ask me why."
Remy: "Okay, coffeeshop after school. And Caleb? I also have a quick update on that Curse that is going to kill us."
MATHESON
That same dude from before follows Luke around with a lot of attitude, and Luke's like, "Did you blood-slushie my sister? Because I will be very mad." And the guy Springer is like, "I'm not the only person in this town that wants to destroy your family" and Luke is like, "I guess I will cry about it."
THE GYM
Olivia and her perfect boyfriend Dillon -- his hair game at Dawson Leery Alert, as if he wasn't already perfect enough -- get their hug on, in the leftovers of Homecoming that we never saw. Tess interrupts, with that feral grin of hers.
Tess: "Good thing you didn't die! And got Homecoming Queen."
Olivia: "I feel like maybe I didn't earn it. Maybe they felt sorry for me."
Tess: "I assure you that is not the case."
MORE
Luke: "Hey, Remy. I feel like talking to you, versus not talking to you. Deal with it."
Remy: "We are really bad at avoiding each other. Like we don't even try, really."
Luke: "We are outlaws! Outlaws of love. Do you want to have a good cry about it?"
Remy: "Remember when you dad was Mayor? He dedicated the new science lab, in honor of the lab that burned down, killing five teens, when he himself was a student here."
Luke: "I do remember all of that information. There's also a plaque. He was really into plaques, before he got stabbed to death by my cheating mother or her vampire lover."
But if it was Five -- and clearly it was, and they both know it -- that was not nearly enough hearse. Collins, you beautiful hunk of cold dead flesh, you gotta think these things through. No wonder you still need a nanny at 346 years of age.
DREXELL'S AUTO BODY & DEAD-GIRL PURSES
Remy: "Huh, closed. I guess he's out towing another car. Or maybe five other kids are dead and I've been freaking out for nothing. Let's just come back in the morning."
Caleb: "Or we could break in. I just need like one thing, it's not even a crime."
He climbs just like a little spider money, it's well hot. Remy is not interested. But you know who is interested? The junkyard dog! That chases him around! That he locks in a minivan, using his wits.
MATHESON
Tess: "Still feeling weird about your Homecoming portrait? No problem, check out my super weird outfit. I wore it to make you feel pretty. Then I felt weird about looking so janky so I put on all the makeup I could find. And thus, what you see before you: A brown-and-cream ensemble with birds flying up the sweater, which is cinched by a tiny strange belt. I look like a girl Fairuza Balk would put a curse on."
Olivia: "I can't sit for a portrait today. It makes me feel pressured to be pretty and special and happy and brave. I am always being those things and it's exhausting!"
Tess: "It's just for yearbook, Marissa Cooper. Not like Vanity Fair."
Olivia: "Remember how my dad got stabbed to death? Maybe by my mom? I could stand to be invisible."
Tess: "This is how we win. Just listen to the knockoff of 'Roar' playing in the background, and pull your ass together. Okay? I'm rootin' for ya!"
Tess runs off to art-direct the shoot, and her phone gets a text from Springer about how they are going to bone later -- and it was fun to kiss her that one time at the Homecoming Parade -- so Liv runs off. Tess being friends with Springer is just like Remy being friends with her dad. Tess is at least conflicted. Maybe you should put more makeup on and more weird clothes on, Tess.
NOW IT'S NIGHTTIME
Remy: "So yeah, the soldiers don't die, but then they come home and five kids die."
Caleb: "Then how come four of us are alive?"
Remy: "I know, it bums me out."
Caleb: "Does it? Because that's nuts."
Remy: "No, like intellectually. Also because, what if it's a Final Destination thing? Maybe the cosmos blinked and we're headed for a course correction. It would explain how we're about to almost always be constantly dying."
Caleb: "Maybe the soldiers are supposed to die, so it flips to where we're the sacrifice. The opposite of how that usually goes."
Remy: "That's dark, man."
Caleb: "War is mass murder by cultural sanction. I'm not saying it's avoidable, I'm just saying war is about killing kids regardless of what country you're standing in."
Caleb: "Hey, is that your car? It's the only drowned-looking one."
Remy: "Oh, Rhoda! No!"
Caleb: "Rhoda?"
Remy: "Rhoda the Road Warrior. You don't name your cars?"
Caleb: "Who said I have a car? If I had a car I would be driving around in it, not getting rides in hearses or your many cars. It's not like it was a huge plot point at one time that I got a car from my rich mom after A almost killed her or anything. Do you mind if I break Rhoda's windshield real quick? She's wedged in otherwise."
Remy: "I mean it's a bummer, psychologically, but I guess not in reality."
While he's finding a blunt instrument, Remy stretches into the car to get the purse, and several things happen that are so bad, not even these two can ignore them: One, the radio turns on and there is awful cookie-monster music. Two, the window rolls up on her boobs, trapping her half in the car. Three, the minivan opens itself and the junkyard dog escapes!
Caleb runs up and smashes the window, but then that darn dog is coming! What is to be done? They make for that fence, but Remy falls on her face out of nowhere! Luckily, Luke appears out of nowhere and fights the dog, confusing it with a hoodie long enough to escape along with them. Caleb tries to shake his hand to say thanks, but then Luke opts for fighting instead.
Luke: "Have you noticed that when you hang out with my girlfriend she almost dies?"
Remy: "I am not technically your girlfriend!"
Luke: "Get in the car."
Remy: "Whatever. I guess Caleb can find his own way home."
OLIVIA
Meanwhile, Olivia is also being an ass-ache. She is none too thrilled with Tess kissing her brother's mortal enemy, or one of her brother's many mortal enemies, and Tess is not really being very apologetic about it either.
Tess: "In my defense, I liked him way before he started this strange vendetta against your family. I mean I realize he's not Dillon -- because who is, that guy's amazing -- but I can settle for a B+."
Olivia: "You'd be lucky to get a B+, and anyway he's a hoodrat."
Tess: "You're being very ungrateful to me for getting you that crown..."
Olivia: "Then wear it. Wear it, as I walk away! Wear it, in your shame!"
She runs off all drama, like anybody cares, and Tess is like, "I think I will wear this crown." Then she looks at her reflection wearing it and totally smiles like a lunatic. I already hated Olivia, but I had no idea how radically I would suddenly switch to loving Tess. That is mad crazy. Tess, you have my compliments. Now take off that fucked-up outfit and wash your little face and we'll be good to go.
MORTUARY
Collins: "Why are you up in my stuff? I am getting drunk at work because of my dead niece!"
Caleb: "Allow me to get judgy about that. And when is the funeral?"
Collins: "The day after tomorrow, in case her joke of a foster family decides to come. PS, they won't."
Caleb: "Then I guess we've had enough weirdness together for today."
Collins: "You can stay in your room until then."
Caleb: "Thanks. And I am really sorry about your dead family member."
Collins: "Thank you for saying that even though I am acting so weird you could easily be distracted from remembering to say it."
REMY DREAM
...Is not a dream. Light flashes on her face and then we are back awake and standing in midnight residential traffic.
Remy is a sleepwalker, apparently. Tonight, she has sleep-walked right out into the street in the middle of the night, almost to be hit by a car in her PJ's. The parents come running out screaming and take her back into the house, and her dad is like, "Man, I have so many problems and secrets! I can't believe she is also sleepwalking, on top of having a curse on her."
MATHESON
Michelle: "Olivia, you look so pretty!"
Olivia: "I can definitely figure out a way to act weird about that."
Michelle: "I wish your father could see you."
Olivia: "So do I! But I guess somebody felt like stabbing him. Hey, about that? Were you going to get a divorce? Before his murder?"
Michelle: "I mean, pick a day."
Olivia: "Was there somebody else?"
Michelle: "Go to bed. I got some alone drinking to do."
Liv slams up the stairs, past Luke, who is just sitting there -- guess what -- crying.
COLLINS
Caleb cracks open that purse of secrets, revealing a letter from Miranda's mom inviting her to Ravenswood to eat apples (?) and experience rain for the first time (?). When would this have been written and/or received? Maybe the foster family hid the letters, and she found them in between learning about Collins and running away? How can you hide a letter about Eastern Seaboard apple-eating? That's inhumane.
"I need you to stay really calm," says... Miranda? But Caleb does not stay calm at all. He jumps backwards onto the bed like a cat surprised. As too would you, if this were the first bizarre thing -- and not the fiftieth bizarre thing -- that happened to you today.
Miranda: "It worked! I heard you reading that letter and then I followed your voice through the land of the dead and now I'm here."
Caleb: "We gotta tell the cops and your uncle that you're back!"
Miranda: "Honey, I'm dead. You gotta keep up."
Caleb: "Are you sure? That sounds unlikely."
Miranda: "I don't really 'believe' in things, but... I dunno. I died in the ambulance."
Caleb: "They were still working on you when I woke up in the hospital..."
Miranda: "Long gone by then."
It's sad. She is sad to be a ghost, and she does it in a very effective way where you are also sad she's a ghost. Caleb is going to be sad she's a ghost as soon as he catches up to what's happening.
Miranda: "Maybe this house is magic and ghosts can come here?"
Caleb: "I hate that, but okay. Sorry you died."
Miranda: "I appreciate you trying to save me while we were dying. Listen, this is a lot for me to deal with. Can I stay here with you in ghost form?"
Caleb: "You mean like spend the night?"
Miranda: "Yeah. It is fucked up out there. Something's after me, I think."
I was not into Miranda being dead at the beginning of this episode, because she's great, but now I think it's good. She can be sad and scared but also helpful and cute as a button. Plus it solves the Hanna problem, if you know what I mean.
Caleb: "Hey, what's it like being dead?"
Miranda: "Cold. Like you're swimming in the ocean, and suddenly it's cold? Like a cold wall, between me and everything."
Caleb: "I had a dream we were hanging out and that's why I grabbed your purse."
Miranda: "No, that was me. Maybe there aren't dreams, maybe it's just ghosts. Trying to get back. Or maybe just this time and usually they're just dreams like regular."
Caleb: "Okay so then what the hell is that demon girl about?"
Miranda: "So far? Being a pain in my ass. I think she's been waiting for a long time."
Caleb: "For?"
Miranda: "Us."
WEEK
Miranda over there, and Caleb over here, try to keep the other four kids alive. There is maybe a séance. Also a funeral. Luke cries and doesn't want to believe in ghosts, but Olivia is feelin' it, since she's already getting mega-creepy about figuring out how their dad got all stabbed. Remy's mom starts glitching, and Collins maybe sets up a more permanent arrangement for Caleb.
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps The Good Wife, Homeland, Hostages, Ravenswood, and Masters Of Sex for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, Twitter, and Facebook, as well as a regular column for Tor.com, Geek Love.