By Camper
Mimi Rogers is back. Must find this woman's gay creds. Maybe she's just a long-time fruit fly or something. I mean, there was that marriage to Tom Cruise. I'm joking. Please, Mr. Cruise, send no flesh-eating lawyers this way. ["I thought it was because she was in Showtime's gay-themed mini-series A Girl Thing, but I was thinking of Kate Capshaw." -- Wing Chun] Anyway, Mimi breaks last week's ep down: King of Babylon, Justin wins, steals Brian's trick, Vic gets arrested for indecent exposure, etc.
Random hotel ballroom. To applause, a disembodied voice introduces Adam Lyons, who will present this year's Atlas Awards. Adam Lyons -- a nice young man with floppy hair -- strides to the podium. Adam conveniently expositions, "At Kennedy and Collins, where I work in New York, we have a saying: 'The only thing better than great sex is a great ad campaign.'" One hopes their ad campaigns are catchier than their motto. The camera cuts to Brian, sitting at a table to his assistant, Cynthia. Brian, as usual, looks bored out of his mind. Adam continues that when he was trying to pick the Ad Person of the Year (of the whole world? Just in Pittsburgh? He's not saying), he was looking for "someone who could 'give great ad.' Someone whose work would make me stand up and take notice." Hmm. Could be a double meaning in that. I mean, it's so subtle and all. Adam announces that this year's winner of the Atlas is... Brian Kinney! Brian's all cool with it. Cynthia smiles, kisses him slowly on the cheek, wiggles her eyebrows and drawls, "Go get him, tiger...the award, I mean." Cynthia's fun. Brian walks up to the podium, accepts the award, shakes Adam's hand, and whispers, "Care to test that saying?" God. So, of course, later on, as the shmoozing rages down below, Brian and Adam have sex up on a balcony. More fake sex. Yay. Cynthia stands guard at the entrance, because straight women don't get to have their own lives on this show.
Chez Novotny, Vic sits on the couch with his hands tightly clenched, telling Melanie Marcus how he got arrested for indecent exposure. He, of course, has to point out that he had his dick out in the restroom when the guy to him started cruising him. "Groundbreaking" television must include the word "dick" as often as possible. My tenure here has made me a bitter woman, folks. No lie. Melanie Marcus, dressed in a black sleeveless turtleneck and nice slacks, asks whether Vic cruised him back. Not only does she look kick-ass this whole episode, but she gets something important to do.