Everyone wakes up and primps and shines themselves. And then we get an interview of Ken complaining about Alexandria, when what he should really be doing is shutting up. The designers assemble at the runway, where Tim is in a suit made of a camouflage-patterned fabric. He and Heidi are dressed "for the outdoors," so the designers are going on a camping trip. Ken interviews that he's not sleeping in a damn tent, and now I'm on board with him. Tim then claims that they'll be "glamping," which is some sort of upscale camping experience. Or something.
The designers all rush back to the dorms to pack. Nobody knows what "glamping" means, because it's not a thing that exists. And off they go! On vans into the wilderness! Miranda is hoping there will be a paintball challenge.
Tim welcomes everyone to a pretty nice campsite. There are tents and a stream and a corporate spokesperson for some product-placed bottled water. Tim tells them they'll be making a high end fashion look inspired by nature and their activities. He dwells a bit on the point that they're not designing clothes to be worn in the outdoors (because, ugh!), just clothes inspired by the outdoors. They're spending the day and the night here at the...glampsite? I guess? They'll all be shipped back to Mood in the morning for a one-day challenge. And Tim will not be participating in the alleged fun.
Everyone goes into their tents, where there are cots and blankets. Outdoors, there are hammocks. Ken asks the other contestants if maybe he's not strictly required to be inspired by the outdoors, because he hates it all so much. Dude, just make whatever you want and be prepared with a convincing line of nonsense and you'll be fine. That's all anyone ever does. He complains about the mosquitoes, and I believe I have found common ground with him.
People are either lounging on hammocks or throwing things into the creek. Justin interviews that he normally can't chat with people in the workroom, because it takes a lot of effort for him to get engaged in conversations while he's working, so this is a good time for him to do some interacting. Alexandria is sitting by the creek and doing some sketches in an attempt to actually get inspired.
And now it's time for some Mandated Fun. Everyone paddles around a river and goes on ziplines. Jeremy comments that outside the studio, they're all fairly nice people. Ziplining might be fun to do, but it is not all that interesting to watch. It's more fun when everyone's sitting around the fire and Justin teaches them some sign language. Later in the evening, there's more sketching going on. Ken claims he's got a spiritual connection, but he doesn't say what with. It's probably not with the dirt. Jeremy is writing a love letter to his husband and has decided to use it in his design.
Dinner looks great. Someone offscreen has cooked something nice! Justin asks if people have a favorite sound, which is an interesting question. Then there are s'mores and sleeping.
The morning, it's very scenic. People use the word "glampsite," so I guess that's a word now too. Off they go! Back to the city! Hello, Mood! Tim welcomes them back and tells them they have thirty minutes. Ken says he has no plan, but he jumps on a green fabric that looks sort of like moss. Karen claims to have been inspired by the white tents, which seems kind of shortsighted. Justin is thinking of using a glue gun to make lace. Bradon doesn't seem to have any sort of plan at all, so he's loading up on various chiffons. Swatch continues to be a cute doggie.
Workroom! Tim claims that the workroom feels tranquil now. Then he leaves to go do whatever it is he does all day. Ken wastes no time before insulting Alexandria, who has done nothing. Bradon is trying an embroidery technique he calls "thread painting." Jeremy is writing his love letter onto his white fabric, which he will then turn into an evening gown. Alexander thinks it's a great gimmick, and he's pretty jealous about it.
Ken is trying to pull inspiration from the waves, which means he's doing some draping. Justin's glue-gun lace looks pretty good. There are only six hours to go, and everyone's starting to feel the pressure. Alexander is doing a fitted, tailored gown. Well, that sounds okay, I guess. Alexandria is doing a denim jacket and a "funky pair of long johns," because she wants to do a modernized version of camping wear. That's exactly what Tim said not to do! Listen to the rules, dummies! Meanwhile, Bradon's questioning his "thread painting," because he's never done it on clothes.
Tim comes in! He thinks Karen's fabric is pretty boring, so she should do more. Yeah, it's kind of just a toga at this point. She speculates that she could do an ombré or something. He loves Justin's glue-lace. Justin admits that he's been playing it a little safe so far, and Tim agrees. Alexander's dress is called "And Trees at Midnight." It's dark blue, which represents the night sky, see, and he's going to put some kind of bark onto it. Bradon's critique is very speculative because he's been spending all his time on his "thread painting." Tim hates it. He thinks it looks like a child scribbled all over it with colored pencils. That's bad news for Bradon, because it's all he's created so far.
Tim moves on to Alexandria. His brow furrows when she gets out her denim, but he likes her general silhouette. But he hates her drop-crotch pants. Especially because the crotch drops all the way past the knee. That's Hammer Pants territory. Ken admits that he got into glamping, and he shows his wavy fabric. Helen thinks it's awful, especially the colors (white, dark red, and dark green). Tim looks at Jeremy's love letter, which he is turning into a bias-cut sheath dress. He's also using primary colors, which Tim is wary of. Helen was inspired by a moth dying in the bathroom sink, and I would like to take a moment to remind you that camping does not normally involve a bathroom sink. I guess that's what puts the "gl" in "glamping."
Tim tells them they have until midnight, and he leaves. More cutting and sewing ensues, and then the models come in. Jeremy says he's right to Kate, but he doesn't understand her garment at all. Alexander says his fit is perfect. Alexandria's model says the drop-crotch pants are used in her culture a lot... as underwear. All Bradon has is his embroidered collar, but he tells his model the dress will be very flowing. She asks if he means like Karen's thing, which is completely formless as far as I can tell. It has a belt around the top of the breasts, and then it just drapes down from that.
Miranda is attaching origami petals to the bottom of her dress, and it looks fine. Ken admits that he really likes Justin and Justin's garment. Helen readjusts her dead-moth dress so the front looks less vaginal. Alexander complains that the ladies are too loud. When Alexandria leaves the sewing room, Karen and Dom marvel that her look appears to be entirely denim. Dom decides to withhold judgment until she sees it on the runway. That's no fun.
Alexandria insists that she doesn't mind that she has no friends here. Alexander hand-paints branches onto his dress. Karen dumps her garment into a vat of dye. Bradon does a lot of draping, and he's in some kind of drape-hole. And then it's time to go!
The morning, there's some more discussion in the hotel rooms. Ken chats amiably with Justin and Jeremy. But that's boring, so let's go to the workroom! There are two hours for models, hair, makeup, and accessory walls. Miranda has a lot of petals on her dress. Alexander has decided to make his dress's train coated in leather, which is an interesting look and it could go either way. Bradon is snipping bits off his dress, and he seems to be trying to get just enough of a dress to not go home. Jeremy describes Kate's dress like this: "All I see is a pregnant fairy strapped into a shiny harness." Justin's dress is a tiny bit too tight, and the fabric is strained in weird directions. Alexandria just wants to prove she can make a well-made garment.
The hair session features a "braid crown." The makeup features a "moss glow." Everyone's sewing frantically. Karen finally just throws a hem on her dress and calls it done. Justin's got more of his glue-lace that he wanted to do, but maybe he should do even more? It's a tough call. Everyone has their final rounds of telling their models they look great and telling the camera that everyone else's models look awful. Bradon's garment is suddenly full of static cling, which is weird.
Runway time! Heidi says the same thing as usual, except that now she has to say "glamping" a lot. The judges are Zac, Nina, and Allison Williams from Girls. Heidi has kind of a Flapper dress on.
Helen's dress is kind of the color of dead moth, I guess. It's got a lot of interlocking pleats, unless they're ruffles. She's very confident.
Bradon somehow spent $325 on his gown, and he admits that it was made in a couple of hours. It's just a bunch of yellow, green, and blue chiffon. It flows nicely when the model is walking, but that's entirely due to the magical qualities of chiffon. When she's standing still, there is no form here.
Miranda's dress looks fine. It's a nice dark dress with various colors of feathers attached to the bottom. Good job.
Ken's dress is dark green with some folds of red and white across the chest. The back is -- hang on.
Okay, forget, Ken. Let's talk about Alexandria's dress, because it is crazy nuts. The pants are knee-length, and the crotch drops to a couple inches above that. They look like poorly fitting jodhpurs. Then there's a fairly dull denim jacket. And an inch of exposed midriff. Also, the jacket has a tail on it. I think this is ludicrous, but it might be so ludicrous that it turns into fashion in the judges' eyes.
Alexander's dress is an elegant black dress with a leather train. I guess it's okay.
Justin's dress is a hot mess. The parts that are fabric seem like arbitrary sections sewn together, and there's so much of this hot glue lace that it looks like, well, hot glue. And it doesn't fit. He voiceovers that he took a risk.
Dom's dress looks good. She thinks it looks like water, but it doesn't, really. But it looks elegant.
Karen's dress has no construction that I can see. It looks like her model has taken a skirt that is too long for her and pulled it up over her breasts.
Kate's dress! Okay, picture a white tutu. That's the bottom half. The top half is a morass of black patent leather strips that form a vest-like harness around the shoulders. The whole thing stretches down to about mid-thigh, so the model's legs are hilariously sticking out the bottom for what looks like a mile. The model looks pregnant.
Jeremy's got a good-looking gown. He's decided not to use primary colors. And he's got a great story for his dress, so I like his odds.
Heidi calls Dom, Bradon, Kate, Helen, and Miranda forward. They're all safe. that leaves Ken, Alexandria, Alexander, Justin, Jeremy, and Karen. I judge that the top looks are Jeremy, Ken, and Alexander (with Jeremy winning). That leaves Alexandria's drop-crotch jodhpurs, Justin's hot glue explosion, and Karen's mystery draping as the bottom. And my least favorite is Alexandria's. Let's see if I'm right!
Backstage, Bradon is happy that he's safe. Kate is also glad to have gotten away with it. She's also quite pleased to have made it to the top ten.
Heidi starts with Karen. She explains about the white tents and the draped-front openings, which led to what she generously describes as a "drapy dress." Heidi thinks she looks trashy and compares the dress to a muumuu. Nina says the dress looks like a beach dress with a leather harness and cowboy boots. She can't imagine someone wearing cowboy boots to the beach? Zac thinks the ombré came out as a runny-egg yellow color. Allison thinks it could have been taken in on the sides to show off the model's body. Yeah, because as it stands, there's no sign that there's a body in there at all.
is Jeremy, who says he was thinking about his position on the planet as a whole when he wrote his love letter to his husband and his children. Heidi is entranced and wants him to read it to her. Zac calls it "sonnet chic" and also loves the bias cut. Nina ignores the story, because she only cares about clothes. But she loves the clothes, too, particularly the row of buttons on the side.
Ken's inspiration is now the cliffs he saw. Nina says it's boring. The folds on the chest are very heavy for her, and she doesn't like the styling. Zac wrote "frog queen" when he saw the dress. Allison suggests that maybe a woman's chest doesn't like to be crowded.
Alexander shows how he hand-painted trees, and Heidi loves the fit. She doesn't hate the leather train, but she's not sure about it. Allison loves it. Zac says he thinks the dress fits very well, but that's not enough for him. He thinks it's just a cool long black dress. Heidi thinks the hand-painting elevates it, and Alexander quickly agrees with her. Nina asks if the model's sewn in, and everybody enthuses about the side-zip.
Justin's inspiration came from the white foam, and he seems reluctant to admit that the lace is from a glue gun. And it's kind of coming apart under the lights. Heidi thinks it's suspiciously like a Halloween costume. Nina says it looks like the model has "a foaming vagina." Allison likes the hair and makeup, but not the dress. And now that everyone's piling on, Heidi objects to a chiffon panel. But Nina and Zac both like that.
Alexandria claims to have been inspired by the whole concept of glamping. Heidi thinks the risk worked. Nina thinks it looks like high fashion and praises a bunch of the things I hated. Ken grinds his teeth with rage. Nina and Heidi agree that it's "very editorial." Allison calls it "out there," but she means it in a good way. Zac reminds everybody that he dislikes drop-crotch pants (which he calls "poopy-pants"), but he liked them here. I worried this might happen. This look is so nuts that the judges liked it instead of hating it. I should warn you that when we get to the avant-garde challenges, I'll have no idea how to guess what the judges like. I still think Chris March's human-hair dress was amazing.
The contestants are shooed away. Backstage, everyone knows Jeremy is winning. Karen is crying about how hard she worked on her dress, and then Justin starts crying too. Ken's not crying, but you can tell he's very angry that he's in the bottom while Alexandria's in the top.
Close-up examinations start with Jeremy's love letter dress. Heidi thinks the writing saves it from being boring, and that's the closest thing to a criticism. Tim makes sure everyone sees the detail on Alexander's dress. Tim agrees with Zac about drop-crotch pants, but everyone likes it a lot. When it comes to Justin's dress, Tim says it's his fault he didn't tell him to rein in the glue. It definitely went from "lace accents" to "foam all over the place." With Ken's dress, Zac is shocked that it's wool. And he doesn't even like the sewing. For Karen's dress, Heidi says, "It's a bed sheet put on with a belt." It totally is. Sorry, Karen. There's disgust in Tim's voice as he describes how "basic" it is. He practically spits.
The contestants come back out, because the part where Heidi says, "So we've made our decision?" is completely extraneous now. We don't even see the judges deliberating after the close-up looks.
Alexandria is the winner! Huh. Well, either I'm crazy or the judges are. I choose the judges! That means Jeremy and Alexander are in. Ken is also in. The remaining contestants are Karen and Justin. And Justin is out! When Karen gets to the back room, people are openly shocked that she's not eliminated instead of Justin. I think it's just because everyone likes Justin, but it's still kind of rude. Although even Karen is crying for Justin, so I guess she agrees with them. Justin does a standard "deaf people are capable of anything" speech and goes backstage. He's barely keeping it together, and everyone comes up and wordlessly hugs him as he starts crying. He thanks them all, and Tim comes in the door. Now Tim's crying too. Bradon sign-languages that they all love Justin.
Tim says that Justin is one of the sweetest people to ever be on the show, but that has nothing to do with what he's about to do. Because Justin is very talented, Tim uses the Tim Gunn Save! So Justin is notleaving. Tim takes everyone out of the room, and various people compliment him on his decision.
Follow Monty on Twitter at @monty_ashley and read his blog, Mysterious Exhortations.