We start the show with the girls talking about how crazy they think Richard is. Michelle calls him an '80s diva queen, which I find a little annoying. They meet Tim at Lord & Taylor to hear about the challenge. First, Tim tells them that the teams are being reconfigured. Patricia and Stanley are working together. Michelle and Daniel are a team. Of course, Michelle has shit to talk about Daniel. They have to produce a look inspired by the Lord & Taylor rose that is right for spring. There is still a lot of tension between Layana and Richard after the knock-down drag-out on the runway during the last challenge.
Stanley and Patricia have a hard time working together. He is trying to lead her and she resists and he calls her on being defensive. They seem to work their stuff out, but it’s not comfortable. Michelle hates the pink fabric that Daniel is using and she is letting him know. Richard won’t speak to Layana at all. Tim comes in to consult and likes Samantha’s look, though he has problems with both Layana and Richard. He thinks that the vest Michelle is making is way too severe. That said, Tim is not a fan of Daniel’s pink either. After he leaves, Daniel and Michelle get into this weird fight where Daniel was really offended that she said he needed his design to be right for 21-year-olds. Did she actually say that? I don’t know, but since it’s Michelle we’re talking about, I’m on Daniel’s side. Samantha is actually the only person that doesn’t seem to have some beef with someone else in the workroom. This is hardcore. When was the last time you can remember the episode title not pertaining to the actual challenge?
That night, Daniel is consoled by Richard and Stanley at the apartment. Michelle interviews that she would feel sorry for Daniel if he were eliminated, but she doesn’t care ultimately. I can’t stand her. The day, he and Michelle sort of make up right away. Samantha has some construction problems towards the end and Daniel is working on his dress up to the last minute.
Patricia and Stanley make it to the round. Michelle and Daniel are the winning team! Which, of course, means that Layana, Daniel and Samantha are the losing team. Wow, Michelle’s model is a full foot taller than Daniel. Samantha gets grief for her design being too literal. Heidi loves Richard’s dress, though Nina is not impressed. Layana gets mixed reviews. Everyone likes the design but hates her floral print. Michelle wins the challenge. Gross. Whatever, her dress was great. Richard and Samantha are the bottom two. Richard is... in. I’m sorry to see Samantha go.
Previously: The designers had to create tear-away clothing for Australian strippers who live in Vegas. There were two teams and the team of Richard, Layana, Richard and Samantha completely imploded, including a knock-down drag out fight on the runway with Richard and Layana (and a little bit Amanda). Amanda should have fought harder, because it might have saved her from going home, but I doubt it. The pants that she made were beyond wrong.
At the Atlas Building, the guys are waking up and seem sad to realize that it wasn't a dream. The Thunder from Down Under does indeed exist and it paid its wrathful visit upon their lives. Richard, who seems shell-shocked, interviews that he is thankful that he survived it. Don't relax, Richard. They could still be out there. He thinks back on Layana and Amanda trashing him on the runway. He says that he is still upset with them and he won't forget it. I'm not sure that is the best idea for him. Someone like me, now I can take a grudge, wrap it in some velvet-y pouch-like creation and stuff it in the back of my head all shiny and protected until the moment that I need it, say when you are bent over at a water fountain or you have toilet paper on your shoe. Richard? I'm not sure he can do that. He's a little too emotional all of the time.
Michelle and her stupid soccer mom who went to Lollapalooza hair says that she and the other girls have three goals: Richard, Daniel and Stanley. Layana says that Daniel and Stanley are vintage and Richard is (jazz hands and sunrise hand movement accompaniment) "crazy." OK, here's the thing: over the past few challenges, Richard's personality has started to wear on me a little bit. There is some sort of disconnect with him, at least for me watching him on television. He seems to not be able to read a room very well and that's one of my requirements for people that I like a lot. But, Layana has revealed herself to actually be a pretty nasty person. A friend of mine and I like to always have sort of a briefing on our feelings about the different designers and I mentioned Michelle and Layana as the two that I'm really not feeling this season. My friend named it though. She said that, first of all, Layana was a gross mix of whiny and snobby. Nailed it. Additionally, while Michelle is sort of straight-up mean girl, it's preferable to Layana's daddy's little mean girl. Also, nailed, which makes Michelle seem more likable by default, I think. Another thing I've noticed, and Layana is flaunting it right now with her stupid Fosse movement, is she is very subtly making fun of him because he's gay. She has done it before too. All of her coded bullshit about him being a man (which she kind of posed as a question) so he should know menswear and the way she describes with a sneer his work as "over the top" or whatever, I think it's pretty disrespectful. Maybe she thinks that because she works in the fashion industry and probably works with a lot of gay dudes she's definitely not going to come off as inappropriate. It's just like gay guys touching boobs because they think it's not a big deal. Don't do it. She interviews that she doesn't get Richard, mentioning again that he's over the top and tacky. She thinks he should have gone home instead of Amanda, which is kind of ridiculous. The pants wouldn't even stay on the Thunders. Michelle adds that Richard has a lot of "1980's diva queen" in him. Now, you see, maybe I'm just being too sensitive, but I want her to shut the fuck up. Masculinity aside, this concept that you lose your freaking gender because of an aesthetic choice...I'm super annoyed with this right now. I mean, I can be a total sissy and that doesn't mean that I'm not a man. I can know NOTHING about making menswear and that doesn't make me less of a man. And they toss it out there in such a glib way. Hmm. This may just be my beef, but whatever.
At Parsons, Heidi greets the designers on the runway. Daniel is laughing to himself, because, well, I think he just likes living like that. He's his own burst of adrenaline. And, good for him, I suppose. I'd have him committed if he were even a distant relative, but he seems happy. Heidi reminds us that we are down to seven designers now. Richard interviews that he has tried to stay calm up until this point but he is only human. That does not bode well for this episode. Heidi says that they are hoping that the challenge will put a spring in their step. Stanley interviews that he's not sure what he's talking about, but he is hoping that the challenge is fashion related and not any of this crazy stuff. She continues that they will meet Tim and a guest at Lord & Taylor to hear about the challenge. Everyone is excited. Richard says that he is excited about anything related to shopping. I guess he's not really helping my case there.
, the designers are walking down the sidewalk to Lord & Taylor. Layana interviews that she is excited for this challenge, because it's her cup of tea. Richard says that Lord & Taylor is so luxurious and he feels right at home. The building is gorgeous, but it's not really that luxurious of a store. Tim welcomes them and says that there is some business to take care of before the challenge is announced. The judges are shrinking the teams. Patricia and Stanley are going to work together. Stanley says that he's nervous because his clothes are chic while Patricia is more craft-like. It sounds nastier than he delivers it. Also, he's not entirely incorrect to be worried, though I'm starting to respect Patricia more and more. She's clearly so lucky to be in a group setting because she would have been crippled by time management problems early in the competition, but that's what is cool about this season. I feel like we've gotten to see more of a genuine talent than people who are just good at playing it cool on the runway. For her part, Patricia is nervous because Stanley can be very controlling. She vows to stand her ground. Then, they decide that Michelle and Daniel will work together, because Michelle is rock n' roll (barf) and Daniel is more tailored. Daniel interviews that he likes Michelle and will be glad to bounce ideas off of her. Michelle says that Daniel brings a sophisticated edge to his designs, but then smugly adds that they can be dated. The third team is Layana, Richard and Samantha. Heidi laughs and wonders if they will be able to work together after the scene on the runway during the last challenge. We'll see. Layana repeats that she doesn't want to work with him and says that she doesn't trust him because of what happened during the last challenge. So, be nice, you idiot. You tried to get him eliminated. Of course he is going to be sore. Richard interviews that Layana needs to play nice. Gosh, I almost find this tiresome from the beginning.
Then, Tim welcomes this lady Suzanne Timmins and she's a VP at Lord & Taylor. She seems nice enough but then she starts talking and sounds like a total robot. She puts her hands purposefully in her pockets in her skirt and says that the L&T customer is looking for pieces that are on trend and complement her wardrobe and style. Samantha is not bothered by the robot behavior and says that she has been shopping at the store since she was a little girl. She feels like she has an edge over the other designers. For this challenge, Tim says that their inspiration should be the Lord & Taylor rose, which has apparently been a symbol of the store since 1943. I feel like I've never seen that as a part of any display for the store, but maybe I just wasn't looking. Crazy Suzanne sways back and forth and tells them to use their imaginations as she is shining down on them with some serious Manson lamps. They will be designing for Spring 2013 and the winning look will be sold at the store and displayed in the window. Michelle interviews that it is every designers dream to see someone wearing the design that they created. Richard interviews that this is a huge opportunity and that it would take years for him to get to the point where he could have a design sold at Lord & Taylor. Suzanne reminds everyone that the dresses must be available for retail at under $250. FYI, I'm obsessed with her crazy performative way of speaking. I imagine that she is maybe a terrifying boss. Or, the best boss ever. Tim says that every two-person team is responsible for two looks and the three-person team is responsible for three looks. So, every person has to make a look. Then, he says that every person has $75 budget. That's really small.
The teams start to caucus and we hear Michelle say that she wants to make a dress and a rain vest, because she comes from a rainy climate and that is what makes her think of spring. Sure. Daniel says that he is thinking of a jacket and pants. Michelle asks if he thinks that a woman is really going to want to buy pants for spring. I'd ask if she thinks a woman really wants a vest with her dress, but that's just me. Daniel interviews that his challenge is to be modern. He reveals to Michelle that he's actually thinking of making shorts and it sounds like she likes it.
Patricia tries to explain her idea to Stanley and he tries to lead her in another direction. She sees what is going on and interviews that, with controlling people, you have to just nod and agree until they leave you alone. Richard, Layana and Samantha are having an even worse time. Samantha seems happy with her design. Layana tries to engage the team and Richard doesn't even respond to her. He interviews that no one is paying attention to her and she can go flip her hair somewhere else. Honestly though. She seems to think that everyone is really preoccupied with her cuteness all of the time. That's not true. In fact, I'm only thinking about her cuteness when there is Thunder from
Down Under around. She interviews that she doesn't care that Richard isn't talking to her and actually it's better. Huh. Thats's funny, because she actually looks really awkward when Richard is ignoring her. Is this better? Or, is she just trying to play Mean Girl 2.0? The part after someone sees through her shit and she has to look like everything is fine.At Mood, Stanley tells us that he is making a shift dress and he is lowering the hem. Daniel chooses a really electric pink. Michelle says that pink is not her signature pink, which makes her even less like Julia Roberts that she was before. And, let's face it, she was very little like Julia Roberts to begin with. But, she says that great things can happen with the color in a way that is actually condescending. It's like she is planning her moment where she talks shit about the color for later. Layana finds a print with the colors that she wanted. Richard decides to make a dress that is black with a strip of pink along the front. He tells us that it is going to be "EVERYTHING." He says that in such a way that seems as if he thinks that will be a sound bite. I don't know. Help me out here, Richard. I'm trying to defend you, but if you are selling your own speech quirks in little nuggets for the production team, I will have a harder time. Samantha has a difficult time orienting herself and grabbing all of the stuff that she needs.
At the workroom, Patricia makes some mock-up pants and Stanley tells her not to make anything trendy. He interviews that he does not like to lose, so he is not worried about maybe being a hard-ass. Patricia is getting pissed off and feels like Stanley is an asshole. It's funny, she doesn't reveal any of that when she is talking to him. I think that people feel like they know Patricia very well because she seems sort of like an open book, but she's got some game. She is not letting on that she knows all of these people are dicks. At least, I thought she wasn't showing anything. Then, all of a sudden, Stanley tells her that she needs to listen when they have discussions instead of getting defensive. She just looks at him as he stares at the ground and says that when "we" saying something, she should think about it. They are a team of two. Who is the "we"? She interviews that he should "freaking be cool." That sort of makes me love her.
Samantha is stressed that Richard and Layana aren't speaking. Layana knows that Richard is unhappy with her and says that he has been acting like that since she won her first challenge. You mean, the one that Daniel actually won for you? Whatever, I really think I hate her now. I think we're done. She needs to tell us that she really doesn't care if Richard doesn't want to speak to her. So, maybe you are part of the problem as well? As soon as I write that, Richard comes on in an interview and offers us the underheard chestnut that he's not here to make friends. You are apparently also not here to create and use original phrases. So be it, though they are EVERYTHING. Original phrases. They are EVERYTHING. I'm losing my mind with these people.
Michelle hates the pink that Daniel is using. She is really obvious about how much she hates it, though she tells him that she loves it. She tells us that she hates it though. He explains that happy colors are for happy pieces, which kind of breaks my heart. She tells us that it's like Barbie's 16th Birthday. Wow, that's so helpful now that we are at a totally different place from where fabric choices are made. Daniel tries to convince her that the fabric will transform once he starts working at it, but she doesn't offer him much in the way of support. He interviews that she is being very negative about his fabric choice. He says that he is just going to let it roll of his back.
Patricia is doing a thing where she is wetting her fabric to create her textile. Stanley doesn't get it at all. He hounds her about the fact that the dress has to be right for mass production. She interviews that trying things is part of the creative process and she wants to be left alone to just do her thing.
Tim comes in for his consultation. He starts with Richard, Layana and Samantha and asks to have the looks described by the people who aren't making them. Richard and Layana describe Samantha's look as young and flirty. Richard interviews that he thinks that she has a lot of work to finish, but he thinks that she can do it. Samantha tells Tim that she is thinking of having a heart cut-out on the back of her dress and he tells her "why not?". Hmm. That's not saying that you should do it, Samantha. But, she's just excited because this is the first positive review that she has gotten from Tim. Samantha says that she likes Layana's dress. Richard says that he thinks of spring as softer than Layana's look and you see Samantha and Layana shoot looks at each other like he's just being spiteful, but Tim agrees. Layana says that she doesn't like pink, when Tim asks her about Richard's look. He describes his girl as shopping and wearing big glasses and whatnot. Layana interviews with the most infuriating smirk that Richard is so much more creative when he's talking about the story behind his look. She thinks he is compensating for a lack of creativity. Tim suggests that the judges may feel that they have seen his dress before.
Patricia explains her look and Tim worries that it may be too expensive to manufacture. She interviews that she is ready to go with something simple. Stanley explains his shift dress and Tim wants to know what is new about it. He thinks that Stanley needs to add something, but Stanley says that he's not changing anything. Michelle explains her vest and dress to Tim. He loves the dress, but he feels that the vest is gloomy. Stanley thinks that it looks more concrete jungle than springtime. Tim thinks that her dress is a knockout, but the vest is not part of that. As Richard is describing his look to Tim, he emphasizes how much he loves the pink color. Tim asks him why he feels compelled to say that and he explains that "someone" thinks that pink is a bad word. Meanwhile, Michelle has been making faces behind Daniel's back the entire time, like she's so offended aesthetically she might projectile vomit all over the workroom. She then acts demure about her criticism, as if she would rather just die than hurt Daniel's feelings. She is a monster. Daniel has what is maybe the best responses to anything that has ever happened on this show. With the most serious of faces, he interviews, as if speaking to Michelle directly, that he thinks that pink would look very pretty on her. It's shaming and perfect. Wow, the editors were working overtime this week. Tim explains carefully that this is not a very sophisticated color. It screams to him Joan Collins. Michelle chimes in "yeah" and cute quickly to an interview with Daniel saying, "Cause I love Joan Collins!" Brilliant. You know, I'm back on the Daniel Crazy Train. Tim (and I'm not sure I don't hate this move) asks Michelle if she would wear this look. Michelle says that she doesn't think a hip 21-year old girl with cash would go for it. I'm not even playing devil's advocate when I say that I think Taylor Swift has worn like this exact thing. My point is, no one asked any of these guys if they would have worn the stripper clothes. Different, I know, but STILL. It just throws the dynamic and you can tell that Daniel hates it. He interviews that he MUST adapt his look.
Before Tim leaves, he reminds all of the designers to use their teammates. Afterwards, Daniel decides that he should make a dress instead of a jacket and shorts. And, bless his heart, he starts crying in his interview when he says that he had to take his jacket apart. What a special bunny. He is just the sweetest thing. I keep on writing sentences because I'm afraid that it sounds like I'm being sarcastic and I'm not. He really is authentically excited and touched and emotional about everything, as crazy as it may look. It's sad for him because the jacket was so pretty.
Then, the best part of Daniel's crazy comes out and I'm not sure it translated on the screen as well as repeat viewings seem to hint at. He tries to confirm with Michelle that their looks have to be aimed at 21-year old girls. Michelle glibly says that it just has to be young. Daniel repeats that she said 21-year old. Michelle starts to notice that he's not actually happy right now. He says that she made him feel like he wasn't doing anything right. She says, "What are you doing right now?" after he repeats the 21-year old mantra a few times and that's exactly what she should be saying. After all of the shit she has talked about people and the suburban shade she has tried to throw, she should be watching her back. You know, I actually like the suburbs. But, I bet she acts like she's better than whatever she's around when she's really not that sophisticated at all. Daniel explains to her that he doesn't sell to 21-year olds, she does. She keeps insisting that she didn't say that and he just smiles and says that she did. I love this. She interviews that shit is getting weird. Man, hopefully it will only get weirder for her.
Daniel has an emotional interview where, like he's talking to Michelle, he says that he likes to make clothes that make people happy. He feels like he lost that part of himself a few challenges back. This experience with Michelle has reminded him of that and he says that she can't bring him down. In fact, he says that his tears are tears of happiness. Daniel is a SKYSCRAPER, bitch! To be fair, unless there was something that we missed, I don't think Michelle ever says 21-year old. She says young. I like seeing her all gaslighted though. It's a ton of fun.
Stanley and Patricia start getting along really well. Stanley says that he loves what she's doing and is actually learning a lot from her. Wow. Could this be a turning point in how we perceive her? I hope so, because I think she's a badass. Kooky, yes. Badass squared. The models come in for their fitting and Stanley is happy with his look too. Patricia is feeling very good. Michelle doesn't have much to fit on her model, which makes Daniel feel a little satisfied. Samantha is running behind but her teammates seem to be doing fine. Michelle doesn't have time to finish her vest. Oh well.
That night, Daniel and Michelle confide to their respective roommates about their conflict in the workroom. Michelle says that, if Daniel were to go home, she'd feel bad for him but she wouldn't care. Fuck off.
The day, the get back to the workroom. Daniel and Michelle hug first thing. Samantha is still not finished. Tim comes in and gives them the countdown to the runway. Patricia takes a moment to say that she hates the pink of Daniel's dress too. The models come in for their fittings, then it's on to hair and make-up. Scott Patric, hot make-up daddy, is there in full effect. It looks like he got a haircut. We're all still attending the gun show. With ten minutes remaining, several of the girls are still not even dressed. Samantha sees that she has some major fit problems with her dress. Layana takes a moment to tell us that all Richard does is a color-blocked jersey dress.
On the runway, Heidi greets everyone. She introduces Rachel Roy who is filling in for Zac, Nina and guest judge Bonnie Brooks of Lord & Taylor. Oh, I like her. There's something very early Helen Gurley Brown about her. Say that sentence really quickly a few times. The show begins with Patricia's look. It's short melon colored slacks and a flowing top with spaghetti straps. It's beautiful. A bunch of layers and it looks really expensive. I can see a lot of ages wearing it as well. And, let's not get it twisted, the Lord & Taylor demographic is much more in Daniel's or Patricia's wheelhouse than any of these shitty young-ish things. Stanley's dress is and it's right below the knee and melon colored as well. The neckline is sort of Givenchy, but otherwise it's pretty straightforward. It's chic though. I could see a bunch of girls maybe buying this to wear to a wedding.
Richard's dress is . It's floor-length and black jersey with a pink block along the vertical. It's pretty, but casual. Samantha's dress is . It's a cute little baby doll dress in pink, coral and periwinkle. It has a black belt and a heart cut-out in the back. There are ruffles in the skirt and it's a really good idea, but it is not well made. It's super short and the cut-out looks like it's melting on the model's back. is Layana's dress. It's a floor-length floral print with a halter top and black belt. Both the belt and the straps are made with leather. I understand the contrast as a concept, but this doesn't work for me. It's made really well though. I wonder if she asked someone for help.
Daniel dress is . It looks nice. It's not super special, nor is it very young. It's a pretty pink dress with pronounced shoulders and some interest along the vertical in the form of some flowing pleating. is Michelle's dress and it's gorgeous. It's chartreuse with gray panels at the neckline and the hem. It's drop waisted and it's very chic. There's a v-shape in the back that is very cool.
Afterwards, Heidi tells Patricia and Stanley that they are safe. Michelle and Daniel are the winning team. Daniel starts to cry, which makes Heidi laugh. All of the models return to the runway. Michelle explains that she was trying to make her dress like a rosebud. Heidi loves it. Rachel thought it was smart and easy. Nina thinks that it will work with many shapes and sizes. She also loves the styling. Bonnie thinks that the Lord & Taylor accessories wall was well-utilized as well. Daniel says that he was happy that he listened to Michelle's input. Bonnie thinks that the color would look great in the window of the store. Nina thinks that it could have used more detail. Heidi continues saying that it wasn't original. Rachel thinks he should try feeling his designs more. Heidi thinks that Samantha used the rose motif too literally. She also thinks it's too junior. Rachel actually appreciated the design elements in the garment. Rachel's one cool chick. Her advice is so heartfelt. Nina likes that Samantha takes risks, but she thinks that she failed. Bonnie thinks that it's fun. Heidi says that she would buy Richard's dress. Nina was not particularly impressed, because she has seen the same thing from Richard. Bonnie thinks that it's beachy, but too dressy for that. Rachel thinks that no woman should match her handbag and shoes. Is this new? Nina likes the leather in Layana's dress, but she hates the print. Rachel loves the dress. Heidi hates the print too.
Heidi asks who should go home and Samantha says Richard because his dress is simple. Richard says Samantha because of the fit of her dress. Layana says Samantha because she would be more interested in seeing a collection from her. That's so shitty. I hate her. The judges confer and it's pretty clear that they love Michelle's dress.
The designers return to the stage and, yep, Michelle is the winner. Her dress will be sold at Lord & Taylor! Daniel is safe. Layana is safe. Richard is...in. He hugs Samantha and leaves the stage. When he goes backstage, Layana says, "Your in?" like she's too stupid to know how rude that sounds. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think she's an idiot, but she knows what she's doing. So rude. She interviews that she thinks it's time for Richard to go home. It's time for her to go to hell.
Samantha interviews that she is sad to go home. She goes backstage and gets hugs from everyone. Tim tells her she's a great designer and innovator. As she leaves, we hear her say that she's excited to continue on her path and make the Samantha Black brand what it should be. Four months later, we see Michelle and Layana arm in arm walking to Lord & Taylor where they see Michelle's dress in the window. Whatever.
Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com and followed on Twitter at @jblong.