Episode Report Card Jeff Long: A | 1 USERS: D YOU GRADE IT Magic Yikes
By Jeff Long | Season 11 | Episode 8 | Aired on 03.14.2013
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.In the beginning, the designers are told that they are going to mix up their teams and the judges will pick two teams of four. We see Zac say that he would like to see Patricia’s aesthetic matched with Daniel’s construction skills. Nina thinks that Richard needs help with taste, so she pairs him with Layana. Michelle is sent to Team Patricia and bitch has the nerve to say that she is worried about Daniel because he is from Texas. I’d just like to say that there has been a virtual pipeline between Austin and Portland since at LEAST the late 90’s and she just revealed herself to be a total knob for acting that way. Samantha is sent to Team Richard. Stanley is on Team Patricia, which leaves Amanda on Team Richard.
The challenge? The designers have to take a field trip to find out about it. Heidi is not allowed to go -- those are the rules. So, the next day, they meet their clients in some sort of cabaret space. They are male strippers. Their dance moves are ridonk. They are The Thunder From Down Under. No lie. I didn’t make that up. How could I? So, they have to make tear-away strip clothes. Team Richard names themselves Team Slick and Hip but they are seriously neither. The other team names themselves Team Shades of Grey, which is super clever. The hard part for everyone is designing for such superhero style bodies.
I don’t want to watch this unless the naked people are here. Richard Skypes with his friend and starts crying because he is super stressed. I feel bad for him because he’s feeling that his team doesn’t trust him. His team seems doomed from the beginning. Tim comes in and says that they don’t seem like they are advising each other, and he is worried about them. Team Shapes of Grey seems to fare better, though Tim thinks that they have a lot of work to do. Layana asks Stanley for help and he gives it to her, which is very nice of him.
The men come in for their fittings and it’s like The Crucible in there. They go mad. Team Sick and Hip (no typo) is flailing. Amanda says something about Richard not listening to her -- to his face. We don’t say things to people’s faces on this show. By the time the runway show begins, it doesn’t seem like anyone is doing particularly well. Scott Patric, hot make-up daddy, introduces all of the ladies in the make-up room to the dancers, which is a selfless act.
As expected, Team Shades of Grey wins, though it was by default. Emmy Rossum is the guest judge, which is a shame for her. They don’t even say anything nice to the winning team, though they don’t mind Michelle’s vest. One of the dudes from Richard’s team starts busting out of his pants when he’s just standing there and Nina Garcia seriously loses herself. She goes to another place and while she's accompanied by laughter, it doesn’t look fun. On the runway, Layana and Amanda go after Richard and he defends himself in a pretty grand fashion. Backstage, Amanda and Richard make up. There was no winning look! That’s fun! Amanda is out, though Layana’s jacket was the main offense on the runway, if you ask me.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: The designers created prom looks with duct tape. High school students voted on a winner, but it only was part of the judging. Michelle won the challenge. Both Tu and Kate were eliminated!
Tim and Heidi greet the designers on the runway. The judges are going to choose the teams and they will be in two teams of four. Daniel, obviously, is thrilled. The judges decide that they would like to see Patricia and Daniel together. They choose Richard and Layana to work together. Michelle is added to Team Patricia. Bitch says that she's worried about working with Daniel because he's from Texas. I feel like her provincial roots are showing when she says shit like that. Honestly, I don't think she can do anything right for me at this point. She's also unhappy about working with Patricia again. Who cares? I hope they sew her fingers together. Samantha is added to Team Layana. Stanley is added to Team Patricia, which means that Amanda goes on Team Layana. Layana says that she's worried because she thinks that Richard is inconsistent, Amanda is meek and Samantha is tacky. She's next on the list, this Layana. She doesn't know how to appreciate other people's work and I find that to be a fault of hers I don't think it's that she just has these completely high standards either. I think she truly just doesn't know how to process the work of others unless it's very obvious.
Heidi says that this challenge is one of her favorites. They are going to take a field trip the next day. Heidi begs to go but is not allowed, because she has no self-discipline. The next day, they go to a club and male strippers come out. It's truly one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. Ultimately, they pull off their pants to reveal Australian flag boxers. Yeah, I'm gonna pay to see people in their boxers. They are the Thunder from Down Under. Seriously. The lead dude says that they need costumes. They have to be tear-away. Michelle is sweating because she has made neither tear-away clothes nor menswear. The dancers will be the clients and the models. She also says that her husband is a beefcake, but in a normal guy way. He's still so special though.
Richard is feeling a lot of pressure to perform in this challenge. Michelle's team is Team Shades of Grey. Well, of course it is. She starts by saying that, since that dude who spoke for his drill team mentioned a suit, what if they made suit for a bike messenger and a delivery person? Stanley immediately says no because it's too costume-y. No, when ladies go to see puffed up Australian men with tans like pancake syrup rip their velcro clothes off, they need those clothes to look really naturalistic. Otherwise, it might not look like they are destroying their clothes. Because, that's the main appeal of the whole exercise. "JeZUS it makes me hot to watch some burly men ruin their clothes." Michelle insists that she finds bike messengers really hot and fantasizes about them on a daily basis. First of all, gross. Second of all... no, still just there with the gross and not because bike messengers aren't hot. Granted, I'm always reminded of Puck sticking his nasty fingers in Pedro's peanut butter, but the hot piece bike messenger is not really a rarity. The thing that is gross is Michelle's barely masked entitled rage mixed with her talking about sex. It's like Janice Dickinson. That's what it reminds me of. It's Janice Dickinson as the ether. One of the strippers is standing beside her with his hands tucked into his pockets and he looks oddly uncomfortable, even though he's laughing. She thinks she really knows what the girls in the audience want to see and it's something EDGY. What the women in the audience want to see is tits. I mean that's just a guess, but if a woman needs edge from the costumes of men dancing like they're on Kids Incorporated, I say that she's just looking at the wrong shit. It's about the tits. Isn't the fantasy sort of shattered when they start dancing? Unless they are dressed like professional dancers, I can't see how much can be conveyed or maintained in the way of fantasy via the costumes.