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So, here we are. It's the top 5. This all makes me nervous. Heidi tells the designers that this is the final challenge. She tells them that she's sending them far away, where they will meet Tim and he will tell them about the challenge. They travel to Oheka Castle in Long Island, though the designers act like they were dropped there from a helicopter or something. Maybe they were? Tim explains that it's an avant-garde challenge. It's part of the launch of a new make-up line from L'Oreal. Everybody seems like they're in their element initially. Everyone is assigned a character that is part of the new line of make-up, all fairy tale related. They get to use the big estate as inspiration, which seems just a little bit like a waste of time.
The designers have a $400 budget, which is the biggest so far. Melissa has a hard time at Mood, because she wasn't assigned the fairy tale character with black in the palette. Tim comes in for an early consultation, because he doesn't want them to screw up too much before he talks to them. Christopher and Fabio have the same palette and we hear a lot in regards to them being sort of pit against each other. Tim tells Fabio that his coat seems borderline costume, which, of course, I found personally devastating. He tells Sonjia that he doesn't feel that she hasn't performed to her potential as a designer. I haven't been doing that either.
The second day of the challenge, everyone seems fairly flattened, except for Sonjia who seems really energized from her talk with Tim. She gets to the workroom and starts doing different stuff with her silhouette. Fabio changes his design. Also, he reveals to us that he used to wear buttoned down shirts as pants. I still love him. Billy B., the consulting artist from L'Oreal is the big guest and his clothing is straight up clownish. That Tim didn't stop him before he wore this stuff on camera is some sort of sin. Fabio turns his jacket, which Tim hated, upside down ala a buttoned down shirt and Tim loves it. Melissa, per uzh, is a time management concern.
The day of the challenge, everyone is feeling poignant about it being the last runway challenge. Hair and make-up is super pushy with those damn L'Oreal products. Zoe Saldana is the guest judge and we have a long history, meaning I've seen all of her movies and I can't really understand why she gets work (except for her role in the Britney Spears vehicle Crossroads - opening day, bitches). Even though it's made beautifully, Dmitry's look seems really similar to his other stuff. Sonjia made a green dress with floating bodice pieces. I don't know. Melissa made this leather get-up that frankly looked like a dashboard to me.
Michael (hates it) and Heidi (loves it) really disagree about Sonjia's dress. Zoe Saldana is annoying and I think she should stop it. All of it. I'm completely off in my personal judging. I thought Fabio's was pretty amazing, but maybe I had a stroke or something. Heidi asks everyone why they should go to Fashion Week and who should go with them. Melissa says Sonjia and Fabio. Fabio says Melissa and Christopher. Dmitry says Christopher and Fabio. Christopher says Fabio and Sonjia. Sonjia says Melissa and Dmitry. Jesus, Christopher wins again. Dmitry is in too. Melissa is too. So, it's down to Fabio and Sonjia. My heart is breaking. Fabio is IN! Seriously, I'm so thrilled. That means that Sonjia is out though, which I find completely shocking.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: The designers were enlisted to design baby outfits for Heidi's fashion line for babies. Also, they had to take care of screaming baby dolls, which was fun for practically no one, save Fabio who displayed a caretaker side that was extremely sweet. Heidi said that they made them take care of the babies so they could see what was involved in making clothes for babies, which I think we all know is complete horse shit. I do wish they had been matter of fact about the whole thing and been like, "Designers, we gave you these babies to look after because we like fucking with you."
Sonjia and Christopher won the challenge, while Elena was eliminated. I feel really bad for Elena because I don't feel like she ever got to shine and she's clearly talented. I might be completely overreacting, but I would hate for her to be saddled with some sort of stigma just because she wasn't able to really excel at those challenges. That said, I guess she'll have to console herself with her Fan Favorite victory, which looks inevitable at this point. Scandal alert though: Fabio tweeted something about how the Lifetime website (a veritable briar patch of technology) had some mistake on it that linked votes for him to some weird other Fabio Costa. Frankly, that makes more sense than the idea of these rabid Elena fans voting like mad.
It's morning and Fabio, Christopher and Dmitry are having their daily coffee klatch at the Atlas Building. Fabio says that he can't believe this is the last challenge. Is this the last challenge? Fabio tells us, as if we were tiny babies that he was carrying snuggly in a Baby Bjorn strapped to his chest, that there are only five designers left (shows us his fingers on his hand) and he is one of them (points to his middle finger). Learning moments! He tells Dmitry and Christopher that they are all thinking that they're going to Fashion Week but they need to stay focused because, in actuality, only three will go. Dmitry interviews that it would be devastating to have made it this far in the competition only to be eliminated before Fashion Week. He tells Fabio and Christopher that he hopes that the three of them make it to Fashion Week.
Meanwhile, Sonjia is jellying up some toast while Melissa says that, since she, Fabio and Dmitry have each won one challenge, she feels that it's a competition amongst the three of them to see who goes home during this challenge. She interviews that she has to step it up for the challenge, but doesn't she say that every single week? I really like Melissa but her continual inability to adjust to the rigors of this competition is sort of confounding. Also, I find the decor in the Atlas kitchens to be depressing.
At Parson's, the designers are greeted by Heidi who is wearing this gilded cocktail dress that seems influenced by bondage accoutrements. She reminds them of the journey that they have all been on together. She asks them how it feels to make it to the top five and they're all just sort of, "Great." She says that this is the final challenge and the one that will determine who will go to Fashion Week. Sonjia interviews that she can envision herself at Fashion Week. Also, she says that this may be her only chance to get there. That's not the attitude! Heidi says that, for this challenge, she is sending them to a "far, far, far away place" where they will hear about the challenge from Tim and a guest.
I see traveling. They are going over bridges and stuff and now there are trees. Then, suddenly, we see the designers walking down a dirt path. Sonjia interviews that they're all wondering where they are and what is about to happen. It's like they were kidnapped or something and then just thrown out of a van. Then, they arrive at some super manicured garden area that is framing this beautiful manor (or, "castle", as Fabio recognizes it). Dmitry says that it's like a fairy tale and he feels like "King Dmitry". I'm not sure I can explain it, but something about the way he just said that made me sad a little bit.
Finally, they find Tim who is standing with that Billy guy from L'Oreal. Tim welcomes them to Oheka Castle. They are in Long Island. I guess we're flying loose and fast with what we're calling a castle these days. I call that a big pretty house with a nice garden. Maybe I would call it Oheka Abbey. Wait. Take backs. I just Googled this shit and Oheka Castle is the second largest private home in the US, though it's mostly used for weddings and shit because who the hell can privately afford an electric bill as large as the one this place must run. Anyway though, it's definitely a castle.
Billy B., consulting make-up artist for L'Oreal Paris, is wearing a ridiculous outfit. So let me get this straight, we can pick on the Kardashian lady, the one who had all of the other Kardashians (Klinic? Klandestine? Kharity? I'm not looking up her name, seriously, the mom -- I'm talking about the mom) for wearing clothes that are too young for her -- in fact, we're always judging the age appropriateness of women's clothing. You're always hearing about whether a dress is too old or too young for a woman. Well, I want to know how this Billy B. character got in front of this TV camera without someone being like, "You realize, Mssr. B. that you are legit old enough to be the grandfather to anyone that wouldn't look like a clown in that outfit."
As much as I think it's kind of rude to always be judging women by not only their fashion choices but also their mortality, I'm also thinking that someone would be doing this dude a massive service if they did the same thing. Would it really take that much of a push to have him crash into something resembling reality? A place where he'd have to be like, you know, I had a good run, crazy times. I served it up sassy and showboaty. But, it's time to just sort of move on and into some kind of respectable (I don't know, I kind of hate that word) sphere. A place where, sure, I can have fun and wear a smart silhouette, but where my experience is the thing most exciting about me, not the wildness of my ensemble. Also, we're two decades separated from a time when it was even near appropriate to roll up the sleeves on a suit jacket. You are not Cyndi Lauper. You're not even Kim Cattrall in Mannequin. You'll still have your tattoos, which are great. I'm not a fan of the outfit though and it makes me feel like, yeah, Billy B., tell me about fashion. You are definitely the person I want to hear from on this subject.
Tim explains that Billy will be helping consulting about make-up for this challenge. They are at the Castle so that they can be inspired. Also, they will have to be inspired by this new line of L'Oreal products. The name of the line is Electric Fantasie. Gross. I'm really not a fan of L'Oreal right now. There are four "leading ladies" that inspired the line. First is The Enchanted Queen who is "both powerful and bewitching with notes of black and berry." There's The Seductive Temptress who is "one part charming with shades of gold, the other part venomous in deep bordeaux." Tim says "we" like that and chuckles. The Wise Mystic will apparently mesmerize us with violets and blues. The Artsy Muse will "allure you in pastels and coral." The artsy muse will allure me? Also, since when is a wise mystic a leading lady? She's a supporting character pretty much exclusively.
Christopher interviews that he is ready to get his assigned palette and get to work. Tim tells them that they will each be assigned one of the leading ladies, from which they will have to be inspired to create an avant-garde look. Melissa whispers "yes!" and interviews that all she has wanted during this competition is an avant-garde challenge. The mannequins are like, "She does realize that avant-garde doesn't mean she'll have an extra week to finish the look, right? Did anyone tell her that there would be time limits for this stuff?" Tim tells them that avant-garde means new and experimental. This is their chance to wow the judges. Fabio interviews that he has been dying for an avant-garde look because it means that you can do whatever you want as long as it's awesome.
Tim is using the button bag to assign palettes. Fabio is getting The Enchanted Queen. Sonjia gets The Seductive Temptress. He asks her if she's feeling seductive and tempting and she vamps and jokes that she is. Dmitry gets The Wise Mystic. The Artsy Muse goes to Melissa, which means that Christopher gets to choose whichever of the leading ladies that he wants. He chooses The Enchanted Queen, then interviews that he really doesn't like going head-to-head with Fabio but there was black in the palette and, duh, of course he was going to choose that.
The designers are told that they will have 30 minutes to sketch, then 400 bucks at Mood. Big number! Also, they will have two days for the challenge. Fabio says that his mind is already racing. Everybody goes to a different place and sits with the make-up for a minute. Dmitry says that he's going to make a suit. Sonjia is thinking sexy yet complex. Christopher feels that his Queen is evil and needs an hourglass figure. Melissa wishes she had gotten the Queen too. Fabio wants to make a very structured jacket with a sheer dress.
At Mood, Fabio interviews that, with all of the construction required in an avant-garde look, the larger budget will still be spent very easily. There's a moment where he's disappointed because he wants to use some feathers that Christopher is already using. Christopher interviews that the judges are going to like his Queen better. Sonjia finds some gold fabric and some green fabric that she really likes, however, she's not sure what she's going to be making. Melissa is confused by her colors. Oh God.
Back at Parson's, Tim enters the workroom and is shocked by how few of them remain. He tells them that the judges will expect to see about two months of work from the two days that they have to work on these avant-garde looks. He wants them to be very ambitious and to knock the socks off of the judges. They will have their L'Oreal make-up consultations in a bit, then Tim will come back to check on them.
Tim leaves and everyone gets to work. Sonjia immediately freaks out because the gold fabric that she found is not in her Mood bag. How can this be a plot point even more than once? Are they sales people not packing stuff up correctly? Do you go to Mood and buy stuff and you don't even know where you're putting things or, I don't know, you don't watch people put your shit in a bag? It's weird to me. Dmitry says that Sonjia is in trouble. It was her main fabric too. She decides to just play around and make it work.
When they're having lunch, they all discuss what avant-garde means. Melissa says that it can't be a costume. It has to be something you could imagine seeing on a Paris runway. Melissa interviews that she has to make this opportunity work for her. Tim comes in early for consultations, because he wants to be able to stop them if they are doing something fucked up. Melissa, of fucking course, is completely unaware of the time. She has some grand ideas but no real time to execute them. Christopher is doing this thing with a pronounced hip area. Fabio thinks that it's really cool and that Christopher is his main competition for this challenge. Tim has some criticism for Dmitry's look. He doesn't feel that it is experimental enough. Fabio explains that he's going to make boy shorts under a sheer dress for his Enchanted Queen. Christopher hears and gives some serious bitch face and interviews that he doesn't "get" that. Tim ponders Fabio's jacket for a long time. Fabio describes Tim's "stages of silence". First, there's a hand on the face. Then, he crosses his arms. Finally, he'll squint his eyes and cock his head. Fabio says that if you get all three of those, you're not going to hear anything nice from him. Tim says, eventually, that it's borderline costume, his coat. There's just something flat and sad about it, which Christopher sort of chuckles about when he overhears. Tim takes his leave from Fabio while he agrees to step back and take another look at the jacket.
Tim approaches Sonjia and asks her why she isn't working. She doesn't want to say that she's stuck, but she's stuck. Tim says that even though she has won three challenges, he feel that Sonjia hasn't worked to her full potential. He thinks that she is holding something back. He says that he's riding her hard because he knows that she has it in her. She just needs to get it out. Sonjia interviews that she recognizes what Tim is saying about her but not making it to Fashion Week is not an option for her.
Dmitry says that he's trying to finish as much as he can that day, so that he's not saddled with as much work the day. Fabio has to leave his jacket and work on other stuff. It's the end of the work room and they all head home. As Melissa is walking out of the workroom, I see that picture of Lee Ann. What the hell is she up to? Her name is Lee Ann, right? Wow, she completely evacuated herself from my memory.
The morning, Fabio is feeling flattened. He says that he has to figure out what he's doing with his dress, but he's feeling very low energy. In the girls' apartment, Sonjia says that she can't believe this part of the competition is almost over. Melissa remarks that yesterday felt like is was over "like that (snap)". I mean, every day is like that with her. What is she doing for most of the day? Does she just like slip into some sort of drooling half-sleep state? Both of the girls agree that their looks have to be top notch.
At the workroom, Christopher's mannequin falls over, which prompts him to say "Man down" and prompts Fabio to display a face of such horror. The two things simply can't be related. Sonjia appears to have focused and found a direction. Dmitry thinks that it looks cheap and costume-y. Melissa remarks that it looks like Fabio has changed direction. He interviews that, when he was in college, he used to wear his buttoned downs upside down...as pants. That thing you hear right now? That's my heart breaking. I'm Diane Keaton in Something's Gotta Give wearing that white John Travolta suit and grabbing Jack's face and saying that my heart is BREAKING. Did he just say he wore his shirts as pants? I know that's what he said, so don't try to make me feel crazy. I feel crazy enough as it is, considering I just completely and selflessly have fallen in love because someone wears/wore their shirts as pants. Like, I'm willing to move to some hut on the Nile right now. I'm not saying that's anything that I'd imagine Fabio would want to do, I'm saying that's maybe the last place I'd want to live but I would do it for him and his shirt pants. I figure if the West Nile virus is doing such damage, the Actual Nile virus must really be a bitch but I will totally take that risk. Anyway, so Fabio is brilliant and wears shirts upside down and will care for our children together and he explains that he turned his coat upside down. And, voila! It's kind of brilliant. He says that it creates a sort of dissonance and that is exactly what avant-garde is.
Dmitry seems to be moving along nicely. There's a questionable collar happening on his jacket, but he's moving at a very nice clip. Christopher interviews that he feels that Dmitry is his biggest competition because his tailoring is exquisite. Now, Tim comes in with that damn Billy B. wearing another crazy fucking outfit. He's like a feminine Paula Poundstone. I'm sorry, I don't know why I brought Paula into this, but I'm not incorrect. Take a look. The thing is, his shirt's kind of cute. But, I find it patently offensive that his "uniform" is something that is ostensibly supposed to seem so kind of thrown together, meaning a blazer (this one is short sleeved, I think), an untucked shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a loosened tie. That he adds a poncy pocket square is even obnoxious. Anyway, this isn't about Billy. Everyone has a consultation and Billy seems obsessed with the nail decals that are a part of the make-up line.
Afterwards, Tim visits the designers again in the workroom. He loves what Fabio has done with his jacket, though Sonjia wonders if he's looking at the same garment that she is. Melissa thinks that Fabio might be her main competition. She tells Tim that time is her main concern. Tim thinks that she has a lot of work to do, which she does, per uzh. Sonjia has this nude thing going on and Tim says that he can see the avant-garde. Dmitry is having trouble believing his ears, because he doesn't think there is anything avant-garde about it. It's weird, they are all really bothered by the critiques that they hear Tim give to the other designers. He tells Christopher that his dress seems that it comes from 1890's. He doesn't see anything avant-garde about it, which Chris counters with pointing out the pronounced hips and how nobody wants big hips. Wrong thing to say there. Tim asks if that means that it's avant-garde or a mistake. Christopher is losing his words here. He just says something about how it's complicated and I'm not sure what he means -- the dress or his explanation of the dress or his explanation for why it really isn't avant-garde. Tim moves on to Dmitry, whose suit he finds to similar to the other things that he has created. Same problems, different challenge. All of Fabio's garments fit his model perfectly. Same for Sonjia.
Christopher feels comfortable with his outfit and the fact that it's costume-y. Melissa is worried about the color scheme of her outfit. But, there's nothing they can do because the work day is over. The morning, they head back to Parson's, but not without saying a fond farewell to the Atlas Building. Tim enters the workroom and tells them that they will have more time in hair and make-up. Fittings happen and they don't actually seem quite so crazed.
Heidi greets the designers on the runway and WHAT THE HELL is she wearing. It's a lace Neapolitan cocktail dress? She introduces the judges, including guest judge Zoe Saldana. Ugh. The guest judges this season have been obnoxious. Zoe Saldana makes me crazy. I say this as someone who has seen virtually every one of her movies. She's such a bad actress. Gorgeous, but shitty at her job.
The show begins with Melissa. Her girl is wearing a floor-length print skirt. It's a black fabric with random white lines all over it. She made a short turquoise leather vest that looks really cute. There's some red trim on the black top. It's pretty good and she finished it! The styling is great too. Her girl has this really cool up-do. Melissa is very happy with it. She feels like she nailed it.
Fabio's look is . It's a sheer dress with black vertical stripes. Then, there's his super interesting coat. Fabio is very happy with it. is Dmitry's look, which is perfectly made, but comes really nowhere near avant-garde. I mean, maybe some of the detailing. It's so perfect though. Sonjia's look is up and it's a green dress with what looks like green swaths floating over each breast. Nude sheer fabric underneath the floating swaths, for effect. Tim had mentioned something about her avoiding looking like she made some student work, but I'm afraid that's what's happening here. It's kind of horrible.
Christopher's dress is here and it's gorgeous. It's black and dramatic and lovely. It's more haute couture than avant-garde, but it's still very pretty. The pronounced hip makes it look a little like Vivienne Westwood. He's very happy with the look and with his model.
Afterwards, Heidi tells the designers that they were all impressed with the show. The models return for the judging. Sonjia starts and says that she was thinking of Adam and Eve when she was thinking of a temptress and I hope she's talking about the devil and not Eve. Heidi didn't like the mesh in the back. Nina is confused because it's supposed to be about a temptress but green is the color of envy. Zoe thinks that it's unfinished. Michael thinks that it doesn't look avant-garde and he feels like it looks like an ice skating costume. Sonjia is not having it. She says that they'll just have to agree to disagree. Christopher is . They aren't wild about it. Michael doesn't like the feathers that he put on her forearms. He thinks it makes her look heavy. All of them feel that there is too much fabric in the bust. Zoe shames him for not finishing the bust well. Nina thinks that he had too many ideas in one outfit. All of them love the back of the gown though. I don't hate it like they do.
They are all in awe of Dmitry's tailoring. Michael doesn't like the shoulders or the weird applied collar. Nina gives the classic advice, "When in doubt, don't go there." Michael loves Fabio's jacket. He's not wild about the pants though. He thinks they're mom-ish. Heidi and Zoe both hate it. Nina thinks that the jacket is gorgeous too. They turn the jacket around and Heidi says she likes it the new way, OF COURSE, because that's what they always say. I believe they would have said that no matter which way the designer sent it out. Zoe can go jump in a lake. Michael says that Melissa's skirt was interesting and flattering. Nina thinks that it's a little too long. Heidi says she doesn't know which outfit is uglier: Fabio's or Melissa's. Zoe loves Melissa's look too. She says that it's art, because she wouldn't know art if it gave a groundbreaking performance in Crossroads to her.
Heidi asks Melissa who she would take to Fashion Week. She says Fabio and Sonjia. Fabio says that he would take Melissa and Christopher. Dmitry says Fabio and Christopher. Christopher says that he would take Fabio and Dmitry. Sonjia gets emotional and says that she would take Melissa and Dmitry. They all go backstage where Melissa says that the runway judging was "epic." She interviews that knowing someone is about to go home is crazy.
The judges say that this is a very tough decision. Heidi says that, since they disagree on this challenge, they'll have to consider the designers' full body of work. They agree that Melissa has more to show. Michael says that Sonjia is consistent with her respect for a woman's figure. Nina says that they can't pinpoint what Sonjia's aesthetic is. Michael thinks that Chris's look is "streamlined femininity." Heidi thinks that, with more time, his clothes will be great. Zoe says that she would have worn Dmitry's outfit from today. Heidi says that he's very severe and Nina wonders if he's a one-trick pony. Michael says that Fabio is avant-garde without trying. Nina thinks that he's conceptual and androgynous and articulate. Heidi doesn't feel like she can remember a lot of his work. Michael seems like he's really a Fabio advocate right now. He tells Zoe about the Lord & Taylor dress that he made and how it was smart and didn't go over the top. Heidi thought it was too basic, which Michael nails for being contradictory. Today she was complaining about his look being too weird. She gets the joke and laughs.
The designers return to the stage. Heidi tells them that one or more of them will be out. She says that they would be proud to have any one of them showing at Fashion Week. Christopher is in! He thanks them and walks off. Dmitry is in as well! Also, he won the challenge. That's weird to me. He interviews that he is happy to finally have an opportunity like this. He says that if you really have a dream and really want it, you can make it. That's not really necessarily true, but whatever.
It's down to Fabio and Sonjia. Fabio is... in. Wow, I'm really glad about that. Poor Sonjia though. She worked super hard for this, so I'm very sad for her. Fabio goes backstage and is clearly frazzled. Heidi says that they all know Sonjia has a bright future in fashion. She gets her kisses and leaves. She interviews that this experience was invaluable. Backstage, they don't even believe that she's not going through. Tim hugs her and she calls him "Uncle Tim." She interviews that she has a lot to offer and she knows that she'll have a Fashion Week show one day and she won't have to share the stage with anyone. Slam.