There are only 10 designers remaining! Michael Kors delivers the challenge because, naturally, it is set in a hardware store. Only Rip Taylor would have been a more appropriate choice. So, yeah, the designers have to create a look from items in a hardware store, including an accessory. The limited budget hampers Emilio's plans and early on it looks like he's in trouble. He even gets freaked out by the noise that other people are making. Jay decides to create a look with garbage bags, which reminds me of Stella of LethAH crashing and burning. Jay cries about how he fought for everything when he was growing up, which tells me that he's either going to win this challenge or be eliminated, yes? Jesse gets slammed by Tim for being too costume-y... with his hardware store materials. I'm not sure what he's expecting. Emilio has to scrap plans for a dress and make a bathing suit instead. Jay's garbage bag pants are really tight. Anthony learns a new word, "tortured," and uses it to describe almost everyone's garments, which is not without validity. Isabel Toledo, of First Lady Obama's chartreuse Inauguration Day number, was the guest judge. The stuff looks pretty cool on the runway. Emilio, bless his heart, is delusional to the end. His model is freaking naked and he thinks he did his thing. Mila, Maya and Jay were in the top. Anthony, Emilio and Jesse were in the bottom. Jay is the winner! And, Jesse goes home! OK, I can't even yet get into the fact that we never even saw him with his shirt off. What?
Previously: The designers had to create a look for little girls, plus a related old person look. Janeane, quite deservedly and possibly belatedly, got the boot.
"I am fashion. Look at me!" No, Emilio. You do not convince. I really am not a fan of the credits this season. It's morning at the Atlas building and in New York City. We see a fast forward of New Yorkers walking around the city real fast like so many ants. Thanks for making me feel special, Lifetime. Emilio announces in the boys' apartment that it's time for the "top 10 designers" to awaken. He interviews that he's half-way to Bryant Park. He says that it's really serious competition now as we see him pull the covers off of a fully clothed Jesse. Time is running out, Jesse. Diss that robe. Emilio says that all the stops must be pulled outwards.
Jay appears to be the designer who has the most difficult time waking up. Anthony throws an empty water bottle at his head and he begins to stir. He interviews with spirit fingers that he is top ten! He says that, in the beginning, he was worried about being the first person to be eliminated. He gleefully points out that he only needs to knock down 7 more designers before he makes it to Bryant Park, "bitches." FYI, I believe that this is the final year that Fashion Week will take place at Bryant Park (I think it's moving to Lincoln Center). If, in future seasons, there's a big problem with people calling it the Lincoln Center, I will cut a bitch. You know it's going to happen.
In the girls' apartment, Amy tells Mila with a giggle that she's excited to be moving to a new challenge. Yeah, I'd want to get as far as possible from the experience of being in the bottom 2. Mila interviews that she's bummed to have seen so many women eliminated early in the competition, but it's empowering that she and Amy and Maya are the strongest women there. The mannequins are like, "We pronounce that word 'luckiest.'" I'm only joking. Mila doesn't ever stray off-message, but I've found a lot of her work really interesting. As everyone is getting ready to leave, the boys do an all-hands-in thing. Anthony says something about how 4 will return as 4, but Jay tries to talk with him and says 3! Sounds like he's either stupid or wants one of the guys to get eliminated.
At Parsons, Heidi greets everyone at the runway. She reminds Seth Aaron that he has immunity. She says that she will be sending the designers to meet Tim and "one of America's favorite designers." They will fill the designers in on what the challenge entails. Jesse interviews about how he wonders what the challenge will be. So, they go to Michael Kors's store in Soho. I can't wait to see which of America's favorite designers will be revealing the challenge! We'll have to wait for that -- Michael Kors has something to say. He tells everyone that, for this challenge, he would like for them to think out of the box and be innovative. They're going to be shopping at a hardware store for supplies. Everyone's all grunty laughy. Amy interviews that she couldn't be more excited about the challenge. Emilio? Not so much. He says that he doesn't make "crafty" things. He makes sophisticated, beautiful clothing, per him. He apparently doesn't have TV either, because he has never had the privilege of watching Project Runway. Welcome to the PR world. This happens.
Tim adds that, in addition to apparel, the designers will be creating an accessory that complements their clothing. That's gonna be fun! Michael says that it's very important to think about a head-to-toe look, including hair and make-up. Why, exactly? Because you want someone to purchase complete looks when they buy from you? I can certainly rationalize why it would be important to think about the whole look, but I wish he would say why. Is it just a demand for aesthetic rigor? A smart marketing consideration? A way to judge someone's taste? Sometimes, I feel like there are these esoteric guidelines for the designers like BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. There's no real concrete thing to DO in that regard. Likewise, thinking about a head-to-toe look...that's really just another example of someone having good taste or not. If you like it, they must have thought about the whole look. If you don't like it, they must not have thought about the whole look. Or, maybe they just weren't true to themselves as designers. Tim prompts the designers to tell Michael that they won't disappoint him. Then, it's on to the hardware store.
They arrive at Scheman & Grant Hardware and Tim tells them that it's a very inspiring place. They each have $150 and 35 minutes to shop. When the shopping begins, Jesse interviews that hardware is kind of expensive and that worries him. Maya interviews that she is excited for this challenge and mentions that she has made dresses from odd objects (i.e. a dress from string) before. Emilio points out that, while everyone else is buying sheets of metal and things that are available in yardage, he's getting metal washers and cord. Jay tells us that he's going to attempt to make garbage bags appear to be leather. Amy goes for sandpaper. She thinks that the colors and textures are going to be very interesting. Emilio is way over budget and has to leave a lot of stuff behind without being able to think too much about it!
Back at the workroom, Tim tells them that they have the rest of the day to finish and a little bit of time the day. The winner of the challenge will have immunity. With Tim gone, everyone gets to work. People start pounding on metal and shit like that. Jay interviews that most of the designers are "taking the easy way out" by making a dress. He's going the more challenging route of making pants. He knows it will be difficult, but he's gonna give it a go!
Jesse says that the workroom looks crazy. He's hoping that someone really fucks up, so he'll know he's safe. He knows that it sounds bad. Maya says that her accessory is going to be a heavy necklace made of keys. It is going to be the focal point of her look. Anthony is thinking a lot about Michael's call to be innovative. He has decided that he'll take a hard material and give it the appearance of being soft and airy.
Jonathan jokes quietly to Amy while he's working, "Who doesn't know what they're doing?" Amy answers, "Me!" Jonathan interviews that working with these materials is very difficult. Then, we see him say to Amy while holding a piece of metal that he's working with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, straight off the periodic table of elements, copper!" Amy really gets a giggle out of this. She interviews that she loves Jonathan because he's so funny, which she finds to be a big stress-reliever.
As we see Seth Aaron hammering some sheet metal onto his dress form, Emilio interviews that making metal into a dress has been done. True, and I'm thinking of the music video for George Michael's "Too Funky." Therefore, I say to Emilio that, yes, it has been done and no, it has not been done frequently enough. We could all get a little too funky. Everybody wants a lover. Emilio wants to make a Paco Rabanne-inspired outfit with the washers and cord. Problem is, he doesn't know if he has enough of either. Jay interviews that it appears that Emilio is making a stripper outfit. Jesse says that they are all making space outfits. Emilio replies, "This is fashion." Jesse giggles and says, "And stripper costumes." Seth Aaron remarks that Emilio has some macramé action occurring and Emilio replies that Seth Aaron should shut up. Danger!
Emilio interviews that he's very frustrated because hardware items are not intended to make beautiful clothing. Everyone's hands are getting torn up by working with the sheet metal. Ben says that it loo
ks like he has been attacked by a feral animal.Anthony jokingly asks Mila if she will be color blocking the pain. She replies, "Color blocking, take me away." I like this. This is a sign of exhaustion and too much time spent together. That joke is absurd and doesn't make a ton of sense (pain doesn't have a color and color blocking is not a thing that can do something like take you away). Nothing but awesome can come from the designers moving in that direction. I love Pokemon. Mila interviews that she hopes the judges don't get tired of her signature black and white blocks.
The workroom is really noisy and it's driving Emilio crazy. Jesse has run into trouble. The material that he thought would be sort of gauze-like is actually scotch tape-like. That's what you get for trying to buy, essentially, fabric at the hardware store. Innovation, Jesse!
Jay tells us a little about himself. He says that his parents would be really proud of him if he won Project Runway. He was the fifth of six children and recalls that they always fought for everything they wanted in life. He cries starting right at "fought." I don't know if they just liked to fight or if there were extenuating circumstances. I'm guessing on circumstances. He says that the fight in him is a big part of who he is as a person and a competitor.
Anthony sees that some people are finding ways to sew their garments with the sewing machines, so he tries it. He gives a visual of how his dress got mangled in the machine. He believes that the materials that they are using for the challenge are beginning to control him. He mutters to himself that he spent $45 on a roll of duct tape and it doesn't stick to anything. God, that's gotta be a nightmare. Maya is hoping that she can sew through the cord that she bought. It looks like she's successful.
Tim comes in and says that it looks like they're working with armor. He starts his consultations with Mila. Tim wonders if the garment will sit on the model's hip. For her accessory, she's going to make a wide cuff with these little plastic plaque things. She liked that there was text on them.
Jesse says that his garment is supposed to be Elizabethan. "Elizabethan mini?" asks Tim because Jesse's sketch is of a short dress. Methinks someone is trying to impress Tim with fancy words that have nothing to do with his actual garment. Tim says that Jesse's look is feeling really "school play." And, he's not thinking the university level or even high school. It looks like elementary school. Ouch. For his accessory, Jesse says he's going to try a weird Dior hat thing. Tim warns him against being too costume-y.
Emilio says that he's creating an "intergalactic, macramé, flapper, something." Tim asks Emilio if he's making a dress or a bikini. Emilio says that he's making a bikini, but Tim's not buying it. Tim tells Anthony that his dress looks tortured. He interviews that he's going to start over with the skirt and make something less tortured.
Tim wonders where Jay got leather at the hardware store. He tells him that they are made of garbage bags and Tim is fairly stunned. In fact, he says that, had he seen Jay with the bags, he would have warned him against using them. He thinks that the pants are spectacular. Jay tells him that he's having a problem with the material shrinking, which Tim confirms as a huge problem. For his accessory, Jay thinks he'll make a belt and Tim reminds him that it's important and shouldn't be left to the last minute.
Tim says that Maya's necklace is stunning. She explains that she's making a dress of screening material. He tells her that, if she pulls it off, it will be spectacular. Before Tim leaves, he tells everyone that they have a lot of work to do. I'm assuming they already know that, but way to ratchet up the tension. We could get more funny from that! He sends the models in for a fitting.
Jonathan says that his look is "Veronica Lake meets C-3PO." I'm going to write a one-act play based on that very concept. Dust off the mantle, Jeeves, and make room for my Pulitzer! His accessory is going to be a clutch. He doesn't have a ton of time to devote to the accessory and acknowledges that it may make or break him.
And, Jay is in trouble. The model can't even get her FOOT into the pants. Emilio doesn't have anything to put on his model. He's changing plans and making a bathing suit. Holy shiz! Jay's model, before leaving, tells him she will grease herself with Crisco if he needs her to. Teamwork! With the models gone, Emilio takes off on his new course. Jay added panels on the sides of his pants and hopes that they will fit his model when she returns. He's making a sexy belt for his accessory.
Jesse decides that he will paint his copper material, so that it will not closely resemble the work of Ben and Jonathan, who are using the same material. Even with Tim's criticisms, he has no time to redesign and is aware of that.
The morning, everyone's getting ready. Seth Aaron interviews that he can't wait for the show, because it's so unusual. Maya tells Mila that she can't wait to work with real fabric again. Mila commiserates because her fingers are raw. Jonathan jokes as a judge, "Everyone is in the bottom ten." Jesse points out that it's true.
At Parsons, everyone gets to work. Tim comes in and notices that everyone is stressed. He sends in the models. Emilio breaks it to his model that she's wearing a bikini on the runway. Jay manages to get his pants onto his model. Emilio's bikini bottom is too heavy with washers, so it has to be a one-piece. Anthony interviews that Emilio's look is not in the best of taste. He also says that Jesse, Seth Aaron and Ben have "tortured" looks. He is very thankful that Tim gave him that word. Maya is very happy with her look. Jesse says that he's prepared to defend his look. Emilio knows that his look is a wreck, but believes that it's a for real LOOK. It's time to hit the runway.
Heidi greets the designers. She introduces Michael, Nina and guest judge Isabel Toledo! She designed that chartreuse inauguration outfit of First Lady Obama's. Also "world renowned jewelry designer" Steven Webster. And, the show begins.
Mila's look is first. It's black and white plastic of some sort. The skirt is little blocks of black and white in tiers. The bodice is white in the middle and black on the sides. It really creates a slimming look. In the middle of the bodice, a strap of black and white extends upwards into a choker. It's got a retro feel and is pretty cool. Mila is happy with it as well. She thinks that this look shows the graphic nature of her work.
Here's Jesse's look. It's a gray bubble skirt with a metal bodice with a plunging neckline. He has transformed it from copper into the far less precious metal of aluminum. He thinks that it floats and it actually kind of does. He thinks that, love it or hate it, it's interesting. That's where he is wrong. It's nice enough, but not innovative and you can tell exactly that the materials came from a hardware store.
Jonathan's look follows. It's an interesting print dress of different shades of copper. It appears to have halter straps, though I really can't see the back. It fits well, which Jonathan notices gratefully. He is happy with how the dress works with the model.
Here's Anthony's look. It's a gray and lavender dress with a silver waistband. The gray fabric is creating some sort of flower appliqué thing at the waist. There is a strap that creates sort of a boatneck and holds up the bodice. There is a slender cut-out on the bodice that extends from the waist to the top strap. Anthony thinks that it looks like real fashion. I don't know. It looks kind of cheap to me.
Here is Ben's dress. Anthony was right. It is, in fact, tortured. It's all this crinkled copper in a sack dress formation. He says that it looks like it's levitating on the model, which it does. That, to me, means that it does not look like clothing, but Ben adds that it looks futuristic. That's a good save. It makes it seem more on purpose. There's a cut-out on the back, but it's too late for any of that now, Ben.
And, it's Emilio's non-starter. This is not a bikini. This is a bunch of washers with pink cords holding it up. There is no reason to this outfit. Emilio says that the judges' jaws dropped when his model walked out. He point out that it's a strong look and I would agree. Her hair is huge and her heels are high. It feels like a thing. Then, he says that he doesn't think anyone would know that his garment came from a hardware store. He's out of his mind. That's EXACTLY where it looks like it's from.
Here's Jay's look. It's pretty amazing. Skin tight black pants, with a striped pattern on them. It's paired with a blue and black striped strapless top that's belted. The belt is braided and amazing. He says that he pushed himself.
Seth Aaron was apparently thinking of "Too Funky" as well. It's a silver metal skirt with volume and a sculptural bodice that looks like that motorcycle corset thing that one of the models in the video wears. Bravo, Seth Aaron. No, it's just OK, but I do love that song. He loves the look.
Here's Amy's dress! It's awesome. A short, voluminous skirt of black that is matched with a fitted bodice that is strapless. Different colors of sandpaper form little peaks on the bodice and at the shoulder there is a fan. It looks great and Amy loves it as well.
Lastly, we have Maya's look. It's a simple strapless gray dress matched with a sculptural wire jacket. Also, the key necklace is awesome. She did such a great job. This looks great. She says she wants the judges to wonder about her materials.
After the show, Heidi calls Ben, Jonathan, Amy and Seth Aaron. They are safe. The models return to the stage and stand beside their designers. Mila says that she used paint tray liners. She wanted to make something mod and graphic. Nina thinks it's extraordinary. Steven says that the movement of the garment is terrific. Also, he thinks her cuff is the wittiest of the accessories. Isabel loves the transformation of the materials.
Emilio lies that he wanted to create a strong, sexy look. Nina asks him what happened and he says that he was trying to surprise with his outfit. Nina likes that she looks like a Barbie doll, but Michael is not having it. He thinks that the look is really cheesy. Heidi says that there is no pattern. Isabel thinks that there was a lot of thought involved, but she is wrong.
Anthony says that he was trying to soften the materials. Michael thinks it looks like a bad prom dress. Nina adds that it's boring. The guests agree.
Maya explains the construction of her garments. Michael says that she really created a head-to-toe look. Nina believes that she showed restraint with her dress and it was the right thing to do. Heidi says that it absolutely doesn't look like it came from a hardware store.
Nina thinks that Jesse's girl looks like the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz. Everyone likes his hairpiece, which became a head band more than the Dior-inspired thing he described for Tim. Michael says that she's dressed as a Hershey's Kiss and I have to give it up for the Kors right now. That is a perfect description of how she looks. There is some asymmetry of the stitching in the back of the dress and Michael says that's the only part that would attract a modern woman. Steven thinks she looks like a vacuum cleaner. Jesse tries to be good-humored about it, but I can see his Florida rage surging right below the surface.
Heidi thinks that Jay's look is amazing. She's particularly amazed by the belt. Michael can't believe that it's made of trash bags. Isabel commends him for the thought involved.
The designers leave the stage and the judges confer. Nina admires that Mila's look was considered and had a high level of difficulty. Steven says that Jay made a luxury product. Michael says that Maya's pieces all stood on their own and her necklace was the strongest accessory.
Steven says that Emilio's look was a disaster. They're still buying that Emilio made a bathing suit in reaction to what everyone else was doing, but acknowledge that it was crap. Nina DOESN'T THINK IT WAS SO BAD. She is...I don't know. I think she likes the styling. I don't know Nina right now. They all think that Jesse's materials resembled garbage. You know, in all fairness, it's more The Wiz than Wizard of Oz. That's something. Isabel says there was no artistry, which is harsh. Steven says Anthony's look resembled a bargain bin buy. Isabel thinks he was uptight. Their decision is made.
The designers return to the stage. Maya is in. She just can't win one of these, can she? Jay is the winner! He is thrilled and jumps up and down. He says with a really high pitch, "This is crazy!" He has immunity for the challenge. He screams and runs offstage. Everyone backstage seems happy for him. He interviews that he's just a guy who dropped out of community college in Hawaii and is now kicking these designers' asses. It makes him want to succeed more. What a weird mix of humble and not humble.
Back onstage, Mila is in. Anthony is in. It's down to Jesse and Emilio. Heidi tells Jesse that he was disappointing and uninspired. Costume and not fashion. Emilio was "pure Vegas showgirl." That's a criticism? Anyway, Jesse is out. What the? Seriously? I mean, I don't mean to suggest exploitation, but why the hell did we never see this guy without his shirt on? I have a few simple needs from this FUCKING show. I like a blousy, witty gay. I like a sullen Daria type. And, AND, I like some form of beefcake that I get to see brush his teeth topless a few times. Is this because of the economy? Because I will find Timothy Geithner and kick his ASS if he could have fixed this. Rahm Emmanuel, you just got another problem. The goddamn groundhog saw his shadow too. This decade sucks. Anyway, Jesse, who is dead to me, rages that he's not the one who should be going home. Frankly, no, he isn't. They didn't send Emilio home because they are clearly aware that the challenge just got the better of him. He is better than Jesse though. Still, why even have a fucking competition if it's just, "Oh, this guy is the best designer and shouldn't eliminated." Give the prize without having a show if that's your thing, NINA. He's so angry, Jesse is. He says that his dress was really well constructed and curses while saying that. He flings open the door to backstage and says, "It's over." Emilio hangs his head, as he should. Tim comes in and says that, while he had concerns about Jesse's look, he never anticipated this outcome. Jesse says that he didn't anticipate it either.
As he cleans up his workspace, he says he is proud of the work that he has done. He will continue to put out pieces and will see what life brings. So angry.
Jeff Long is a writer/actor in Brooklyn. He can be contacted at jeff.long75@gmail.com
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