The designers are challenged to design a fun and fashion-forward look for a little girl. They are randomly assigned to girls who are so adorable, it's frightening. In fact, Jonathan has a predisposition to being terrified of children. The designers get suspicious when they don't see Tim during the first day that they are working. There was, in fact, a twist. They were challenged to create a corresponding look for a grown-up. There's a funny segment where talkative Anthony is timed to see how long he can go without talking. I, personally, feel that, with the exception of Janeane who just completely lost steam over the past couple of weeks, all of the designs were pretty great. But, the bottom three were Jonathan, Amy and the aforementioned Janeane. I seriously thought that Jonathan, whose design was certainly dramatic, created something beautiful. Amy's was edgy and risky and the judges slaughtered her for it. The top three were Jesse, Seth Aaron and Jay. All three made beautiful stuff. Seth Aaron, who created a children's look that you could really imagine a girl loving, was the winner (and the first multiple-challenge winner of the season). And, having committed the greatest sin of being boring, Janeane got the boot.
Previously: The designers were challenged to design a look for Heidi Klum to wear on the cover of Marie Claire. We were told innumerable times just how much this was like the greatest prize ever given and, while that's true, it felt as if I were watching Lifetime: Television For Those With Short-term Memory Loss. Anthony won the challenge and really celebrated on the runway. It was charming and funny. Anna's outfit was deemed a combo of nauseating ingredients by Joanna Coles, the editor-in-chief of Marie Claire. Harsh and not terribly instructive. So, Anna got the boot. Mila had the final choice of model. There were two blondes. She chose one of the blondes.
It appears to be, thanks to the pause button on my DVR, 7:10am in the Atlas building. Anthony is a morning person. He says, "Good morning, gorgeous!" to Seth Aaron, who stumbles into the kitchen looking for coffee. Anthony interviews that, after being in the bottom 3 several times, it is an amazing feeling to have won a challenge. The thing is, he didn't win immunity due to the reward for winning the challenge being THE GREATEST IN THE HISTORY OF PROJECT RUNWAY. So, he says that he needs to focus and keep his eye on the prize.
Janeane is getting ready in the girls' place and says to Maya that Anthony must be feeling great after being so close to elimination, but coming back to win. Maya is one of these things: not a morning person, not interested in Anthony's win, or not into talking to Janeane. Janeane interviews that she is feeling really drained. She had an audience with the editor-in-chief of Marie Claire and she really hated what she created. True, but at least she hated someone more than you!
Emilio and Jesse are still lying in their beds when Emilio declares that he's going to play it safe for the upcoming challenge. I don't know if that's because he's exhausted or what. Jesse tells him that being safe could get him kicked off. He further interviews that being safe or being in the bottom is no longer an option for him. He needs to start showing that he's a strong enough designer to be in the company of the other designers. Mila tells Janeane that she needs to hurry, because they have a date with Heidi on the runway. I sometimes feel that they draw straws daily and the designer who loses has to say the cheesy thing about leaving the apartment.
At Parsons, Heidi greets the designers on the runway. She tells them that, for this challenge, they will have new models. These models may not have a lot of experience but they are very attractive. Strippers!! No, it's little girls. All these tiny little girls walk onto the runway, accompanied by jaunty Project Runway music. They're so cute. Jesse interviews that this is going to be a nightmare. Jesse is like the Norman Mailer of fashion. Heidi explains that the challenge will be to create a kid's look that is age-appropriate and fashionable. Holy crap, one of those kids is like the cutest thing I've ever seen. Jesse says that everything (proportion, fit, vision etc.) changes when you are designing for a child.
The children have been randomly paired with the designers. They go down the line and say which designer they are working with. Sydney is Seth Aaron's kid and she's so cute that something just happened inside of me -- a chemical was released or an aorta died or something. I'm dying, she's so cute. Seth Aaron interviews that he has a daughter, so he knows that kids have very specific points-of-view when it comes to what they like and don't like. Hmm, this sounds kind of cynical, but kudos to Seth Aaron for not crying all of the time about how he loves his kid and he's just doing this for his kid. This is the first time he has even mentioned her. Perhaps they are estranged, but I would like to believe that Seth Aaron just has a little dignity and realizes that (unless he's designing for little girls) his daughter isn't really fodder for conversation in a fashion contest. Sylvie, who is Ben's model, already has the disinterested model thing down. She's far too cool for any of this. After we meet Jonathan's model, Fabriana, he interviews that children terrify him. He doesn't really have friends with kids and he doesn't really surround himself with them. "They are very small." Oh God, he's so scared. Emilio's kid, Lauren? Also so cute that something just snapped inside me. I think my spleen. Amy says that she is ecstatic about this challenge because she loves "mini clothes." That's the first funny thing that Amy has said. I love how serious she is and even how serious she is about loving tiny clothes. Heidi tells the designers that Tim will give them the details of the challenge in the workroom. Then, she snaps and all of the little girls follow her off of the runway.
At the workroom, the designers giggle when they find tiny dress forms. Tim enters and directs them to notecards pinned to the dress forms that detail the models' measurements. They will have 30 minutes to sketch, then they will go to Mood with a $50 budget. He says that they will have until midnight tonight to work on the looks and they won't see their models again until the following day. That sounds weird. They always get a chance to fit the model before the final fitting.
As they begin sketching, Jonathan says that he can't even draw children. He notes in an interview that the designers who have been winning have been innovative and risky; and he believes that's where his head should be. We hear him tell someone that he's designing a "kimono-sleeved romper." Wait, that's what he designed for the last challenge! Anthony points out that his designs are usually focused on accentuating the natural curves of a woman, but little girls don't have butts and boobs! Neither do models, but whatever. Jesse tell us that he's thinking of a trip to Paris that he took. He's going to try to use a "schoolgirl, Madeline" aesthetic.
Emilio says something interesting -- he feels that most of the designers are going to make a mistake by trying to put too much of themselves into their design. I wonder if he's just trying to justify his earlier decision to play it safe, because, otherwise, it's an idea that doesn't get a lot of thematic play on this show. At heart, the show's philosophy seems to be something along the lines of "Sure, you've never designed for/with blank, but if you just stay TRUE TO YOUR VISION AS A DESIGNER, you will be a winner in the end." Someone not being clear in their vision is often a criticism, even when it's a case of everyone having designed something pretty good and the real damnation was that there has to be a loser. Reality television is escapist for the most part (even when it's about losing weight or eating worms, there's nothing that takes you out of your own experience like watching actual people living) and it's not much of an escape to hear, "Yeah, that was good and your heart is pure, but you still lose." In any case, Emilio is trying to be low-key in his design. When I think of it, you can twist any designer's choice into either a praise or criticism of their aesthetic vision.
Tim enters and mentions that the room is dead silent. What is it about Tim's fear of this year's designers? Emilio says that they are all concentrating. Tim says that they can keep concentrating, but they'll have to do it as they proceed to Mood. Tim starts the 30-minute timer for the designers to shop while standing in front of a wall of buttons that I find hypnotic. I want it. There's a little dog (Boston Terrier?) in the store! Adorable. Seth Aaron explains that the key element of his look is going to be a hoodie, which he wants to make with black and white checked fabric or a houndstooth. He really has a problem finding what he needs. Emilio settles on a soft pink fabric. We are treated to a video response from Amy, who finds pink cliché. She thinks that they need to be a little more fashion-forward than pink. Man, Seth Aaron is really having a probl
em. He tells us that, as he hauls ass, he's not finding what he needs. Tim gives the one-minute warning, while looking down at the dog. So, I think maybe Tim doesn't like dogs? That's unacceptable. Seth Aaron finally finds what he needs in the wool knits. He collapses on the floor of Mood for dramatic effect. He tells us that it is now up to him to deliver his vision.Back at Parsons, Jesse discovers the joys of working with kids. He says that draping is a lot easier when there's no shape to the dress form. Emilio mentions to himself that there appears to be a lot of black fabric in the room. Jay answers him in an interview. He says that children now are really fashion-forward, "especially" at the age of 8. Apparently, at 8 you start wanting sophisticated clothing. Perhaps Jay is aware of some sort of study that I know nothing about. He tells us that he's going for a plum look trimmed with navy blue.
In the sewing room, Jesse tells Jonathan that his life would be easier if he bought fabric instead of making it. We see him sewing yellow strips onto white fabric to create a print. Jonathan replies in a stern German accent that he will not be limited by what the fabric store sells. He interviews that he's going to make a dress with a short bolero. On the bolero will be strips of organdy. He says that he thinks Michael Kors will like it, then he does a few quick impressions of Kors. "She looks like a waitress at Benihana!" "It's like Memoirs of a Geisha met Barney!" The other designers seem to get a kick out of this. Jonathan says that his look will be fun and stylish.
With 5 hours remaining in the day, we hear from Mila. She says that, since she enjoys color blocking, she will make a '60s-ish a-line dress. Emilio cracks, "Color blocking, imagine that." Mila reminisces about when everyone hated her -- we see shots of her telling everybody to stay away from her sewing machine and that time when no one was happy that she was in the top 2. She says that now that she's centered, she's getting along much better with the other designers. We see her laugh with Anthony. That's nice! She jokes, "Add some color blocking to your life!" and Anthony says that could be a sermon.
Janeane tells us that her design is very simple. She remembers back to a time when her sister wore a red jumper in a school pageant. Janeane was jealous of that jumper and today she is going to make one. NEVER AGAIN. That's what Janeane is screaming inside right now. If there were a shower wall nearby, she'd be sliding down it, crying, grateful that no one could see how much snot was involved with her sobbing, this being a shower and the water sort of dissolving the snot. So, yeah, a jumper. She notices that the other designers are making really complicated stuff, but she thinks they are forgetting that a little girl should want to wear it. Because little girls don't like anything that is complicated or overly designed. They're practically Quakers, the little girls.
Now, it's time for Passive-Aggressive Hour brought to you by the fine folks at No, It Looks Really Good And This Smile Isn't Fake.. Jesse tells Seth Aaron, who is at his dress form working on his hoodie, that his model is going to be a badass. Emilio says that Seth Aaron's model will be able to kick the ass of his model. Seth Aaron says that he's making what little girls like, but Emilio says that he prefers the traditional. Seth Aaron says that kids like to be interested in what they're wearing. Good point. He says the clothes should be fun. Emilio says to himself, "If I get eliminated because of a kid...." Jesse agrees.
With 2 hours remaining in the day, Mila points out that they have not seen Tim for consultation. She wonders if a twist is going to be added to the challenge. At the end of the day, Janeane is worried. She says that she feels her design isn't innovative, but she hopes that the judges recognize that it is appropriate for children.
The day, as the boys prepare themselves for the day, Emilio remarks that Jonathan's hair has gotten big. "Go big or go home," he replies. Emilio is nervous about being eliminated and they try to reassure him. Janeane is still worried. She makes a phone call to her husband, Jordan, and talks in the highest voice ever. She tells him that she loves him and wishes she were with him. She interviews that being away from her husband is really difficult. As she's struggling in the competition, she would really enjoy an embrace from him tout de suite.
At the workroom, Tim greets everyone and tells them that he has a nice surprise for them. Emilio interviews that when Tim says that, along with his wicked smile and twinkly eyes, you know there's trouble. He says that their looks will not be walking the runway today. "Really?!" Jesse says in a high-pitched, slightly mocking tone. Tim laughs and confirms. The looks will be walking the runway the day, along with a corresponding look for their regular models. Everyone groans but Tim says that it's a great challenge. He warns them that they aren't supposed to just make a big version of their kid looks. They need to reconceive the look. The will go to Mood after 15 minutes for sketching and they will each have a $100 budget. Also, the winner of the challenge will have immunity for the challenge. When he leaves, Jonathan says either "Shadamn" or "Je'Damn," both oddly funny.
Emilio feels like he's screwed trying to translate his little pink girl dress for his sexy tall model. Janeane says she's excited to have a chance to create something a little more elaborate. Seth Aaron feels like he put everything he likes into the child look, so translating it won't be that difficult. The dog is still at Mood. Jay says that he thinks the companion piece needs to be in the same season as the child look.
Back at the workroom, Jesse says that he feels like this challenge is really difficult because he put so much thought into the first look. "You want even more genius?" he jokes. Yes, and we'd like it shirtless sweet Jesus how many times do we have to ask. Jesse is every boy you loved and hated at the same time. He's that guy. You're like, "He can't be that nasty because look at that beautiful face." Forget the face. I've said too much. Amy says that she has a bunch of colors that she wants to work with for a graphic element, but she's unsure of how it will all come together.
Everyone is working quietly when Anthony pipes up. He giggles that his feet hurt and he feels like he's been working in the chicken shack. No one responds. He tells this story about his mother coughing loudly in church. Emilio interviews that Anthony loves to tell a tale. Everyone seems amused though tired. Finally, Mila says that Anthony made her forget her measurement. He apologizes and says that he'll be quiet. Seth Aaron replies, "Yeah, right." Did the producers forget that they already had the "Designer Who Talks Too Much" segment starring Seth Aaron? Well, Anthony takes that as a challenge. He takes bets for how long he can be quiet. He covers his mouth with muslin as incentive and the other designers fashioned a mouth on top of the muslin. He made it to 15 minutes. He laughs that you can get a lot done when you shut up, so he's going to continue not talking to them.
Tim enters and tells everyone that he's not there to fuck their worlds. He's just looking at their work. He starts with Jonathan and says that he loves what he has done. He believes that Jonathan's looks will grab attention. Tim warns Janeane that she's using Halloween colors, which surprises her because she hates Halloween. Amy tells Tim that she's going to use the petal shapes that she used for her little girl skirt to make loose-fitting pants. Tim says that she will either stop the show or join the circus. She says that she's aware that she's taking a risk and Tim says that he's glad to see it. It's better than playing it safe. I agree, though, to hearken back to my earlier point, when someone takes a risk that fails, they usually say something about losing their vision, right? I just wish they wo
uld give some credit to the less sexy attributes, like consistency and precision. Not everything comes to you in a dream of fire. Seth Aaron shows his stuff to Tim and adds that his daughter had a handbag collection of 200 bags when she was 8. That's vulgar. Tim tells everyone that he is "profoundly wowed" by their work.All the models enter for a fitting. Solemn Sylvie says that she likes the look that Ben created, but she doesn't smile. The girls are jumping around like crazy people. Jonathan says that his little girl made him so nervous that he started smelling bad. That's biology's defense mechanism at work. Emilio says that he's nervous but he never lets them see him sweat! Janeane says that she just wants to get through this challenge.
The day, everyone is slamming to finish. Janeane is worried about finishing in time, especially with kids running around for part of that time. Amy says she's going to be in either the top three or the bottom three. Jesse says that her pants are "really designed" and he's not sure how they'll go over with the judges. Amy says that she's there to stand out. Tim comes in and reminds everyone to accessorize. He sends in the models. Jonathan likens the workroom full of little girls to "Romper Room on acid." Someone tells Anthony this weird story about her dog being 77 and also her older sister. I get it, but kids are so weird. Anthony asks if they have an "off switch." Hair and make-up happens. Jesse says that he thinks Janeane may have problems, because her look is simple. Jonathan says that his plan has been to play it safe until around now in the competition, at which point he would start showing the big tricks. Emilio interviews that he's less than 100% confident, which is an oddity for him. But, he thinks a lot of the others over-designed. He says that Jonathan's companion piece "just went to a whole other place." Tim comes in to bring everyone to the runway. Jesse says that this runway show could be either a joke or genius.
Heidi greets everyone on the runway. After this show, there will be only 10 designers! She introduces Michael, Nina, and Tory Burch as the guest designer. I make stupid Revolutionary War jokes every time I pass her Soho store with my best friend, Andi. Once, the very famous and beautiful model Frederique Van Der Wal heard me and started laughing. That was not a lie just now.
The show begins with Anthony and I find this difficult to describe with great detail. I think this will be the impressionistic PR recap. There's just not a lot of opportunity to look at them up close. But, they are in the same wine red family. The little girl dress has a high waist with pleating on the skirt. The top part is a little floral print with some ruffles at the sleeves and neck. The lady dress is form-fitting and knee-length. It's a darker red and there's similar ruffling around the plunging neckline. Anthony seems happy with it, per uzh.
Here's Amy's look. It's a little girl's petal skirt in orange and a blue wrap sweater. The companion look is this blue spaghetti strap top paired with these wild multi-colored petal pants. It think it's rad. Amy says she's happy, though she's not sure how the judges will respond.
Ben's look is and it's a lavender dress for the little girl and a gray skirt and violet top for his lady. He feels like he did a good job correlating the two looks. They both look good, though the girl dress is kinda heavy.
Here's Seth Aaron's look. For the little girl, he created a sleeveless hoodie in black and white. There are little pink appliques on the pockets and it's really cute. For the model, he made a super-structured jacket with a mod houndstooth print. The little girl wears a black skirt while the model wears fitted black pants. Seth Aaron says that he wouldn't change a thing about his design. This is totally adorable. You've actually seen kids wearing stuff like this.
Jesse's stuff is . It looks really good. The little girl is wearing a cute little gray dress with red trim, with cap sleeves. He made a red wool coat to go with it. It looks really good. He made a gray fitted dress for his model that looks sexy and well-made. He's grinning really huge as his looks pass him on the runway.
Jonathan's looks are up . The little girl is in a yellow dress with that little bolero. The lady dress is kind of amazing. It's above the knee and white organza, with petals everywhere. The waist is fitted, but everything else is really dramatic. I personally think it's kind of amazing. These guys are taking big risks right now. Jonathan seems happy.
Here we have Maya's stuff. I don't really like her use of color ever. It's very The Limited circa 1992, yes? Lots of chartreuse knits and mustard yellow. She made sort of mini/maxi versions of a yellow jacket and black pants. She's really happy with it.
, we have Mila's looks. She has the little girl's a-line dress, paired with the model's white and black a-line coat. I think it's a pretty cool combo and I like her idea for how it's a companion piece. She thinks that the combo looks adorable.
Emilio's look is . He has a very traditional pink little girl's dress. It almost resembles a really large christening gown. His model is wearing a brighter pink fitted knit dress with cap sleeves. She looks gorgeous. He thinks that his little girl is cute and that his model looks like a "well-kept" young mother. How modern. Whatever, I totally wish I were a well-kept mother of any age. I just wanna be kept. Mamma.
Following that is Janeane's look. Meh. For the little girl, it's a long orange top over black and white tights. The companion piece is black pants and a black and white sleeveless top, with a shapeless orange jacket over it. Oh, Janeane, you really did need that embrace from your husband. This is just a mess. I don't even believe her when she says that it looks nice.
Finally, we have Jay's looks. The little girl is wearing a plum and navy dress, with lots of little detailing that was flying past my screen. The model is in a plum sleeveless tank top with tons of pleating at the waist. He paired that with some super-fitted black pants. Jay says that he'd better win!
After the show, Heidi calls Jay, Amy, Jonathan, Seth Aaron, Jesse, and Janeane. The others have made it to the challenge. Jonathan, Amy, and Janeane have the lowest scores. Fuck that noise -- I really liked what Jonathan and Amy did.
The losers leave the stage, while the winners get a talk. Jesse says that he skewed the a-line on his little girl dress for interest. Heidi says that she would have preferred the dress being straight. Michael likes the tailoring. Tory likes gray for little girls. Nina thinks that the little girl (who says that she likes her outfit) looks adorable, as well as the model.
Seth Aaron says that he tried to make his girl outfit comfortable. The little girl tells Heidi she likes what she's wearing, especially the purse. Michael thinks that the model's jacket is the best tailored object this season! Tory thinks that the little girl outfit is really original.
Heidi thinks that Jay really thought about his design. Michael finds both outfits chic, as does Tory. Nina thinks both looks are modern, urban and cool. Heidi tells the little girl that she did a fine job on the runway.
On to the losers, Janeane tells the judges that she wanted to make something comfortable. Nina doesn't like that it's so simple. Heidi thinks that the whole combination is horrible and that it looks like a cheap mall outfit. She assures the little girl that it has nothing to do with her. Tory liked the leggings, but not the little girl top. Michael thinks that nothing about the model's coat is polished.
Heidi thinks that Jonathan's little girl outfit looks uncomfortable. The little girl says that the bolero is pushing into her skin. Nina thinks that, unlike Janeane, he has OVER-designed his look. Jonathan acknowledges that he was taking a risk. Michael, with his usual hyperbolic flair, says that his model looks like she got caught in a tornado of toilet paper. This makes his model and Amy giggle. Sorry, I still like it. I like toilet paper too. Life would suck without it.
Michael lets loose on Amy. He thinks the little girl looked like she grabbed what she could in a burning house. He thinks that the pants are a train wreck. Nina finds the entire effect confusing and weird. Heidi says that it's "hideous." Fuck them, Amy. Seriously, this is making me mad and I don't know why. The little girl says that she actually likes the outfit she's wearing. Michael asks her which piece she prefers and she says the sweater. He asks if she would wear everything from the outfit together and she replies that she would trust Amy's fashion sense. How freaking cute is that? Tory doesn't like the color palette. Amy replies that she doesn't find it unappealing, yet she's aware that it's a "different" color combo. That's so diplomatic.
The judges confer. Nina found Jesse's looks traditional but humorous. Michael brings up how nice the tailored coat was. They all feel like he showed off his model to her best effect. They thought Seth Aaron's look would be very appealing to children. Michael thought that Jay's look was chic yet youthful. Nina thinks that the styling was key.
Michael grunts about Amy's pants. Heidi says that she wouldn't have been able to guess that Amy made them. Michael says that she was just being different for the sake of being different. Tory says that she doesn't find blue and orange complementary and everyone agrees with her, except Auburn University alumni. But, they're stupid, so maybe Tory's right. Roll Tide. They felt that Janeane's looks were really cheap, especially the jacket for the model. They felt that Jonathan over-conceptualized his outfits. Nina brings up a good point, where would the people wearing those outfits be going? Perhaps a wedding? A seance? They've made their decision.
The designers return to the stage. Jesse is in. Seth Aaron wins! Jay seems a bit disappointed. Seth Aaron says that his daughter is going to be very happy. He interviews that he's glad the judges got it. Jay is in. Jonathan is in. It's down to Amy and Janeane. Heidi tells Amy that her colors were bizarre. It was a mess. She tells Janeane that she was boring. Amy...is in. She crosses the stage to hug Janeane before she leaves the runway. Janeane gets her kisses and leaves. She interviews tearfully that it sucked that the judges hated her stuff so much, but she believes that it will make her better. She says that she won't be quitting because Heidi Klum doesn't want to wear her stuff. Itsy bitsy grudge happening there. She vows to be represented in a national magazine in the few years. Hmm. We'll see. Good luck, Janeane!
Jeff Long is a writer/actor in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com.