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I'm starting to wonder if there's a little truth to the notion that they're holding onto some of the crappier designers for personality's sake. Otherwise, why the fuck is Angela Keslar still being transmitted into my living space?
The designers have to go to Central Park in order to be told that they are designing an evening outfit based on a story inspired by a tiny dog. There's a separate dog for each of them, and they are cute!! Along with their outfit, the designers have to make something for the dogs to wear.
There's lots of footage of the designers working, and it's clear early on that Bradley is in trouble. He doesn't seem to be able to work very quickly or decisively. Keith is a bitch to everyone and even insults Laura's parenting skills. Granted, she was a little mean to her dog at first, but still...uncalled for. Katie's dress is really simple, and Tim tells her to add a hoodie. Angela makes the most ridiculous -- I can't even get into it right now. She should be jailed.
On the runway, Bradley is called out...but for being one of the three best! And it's his birthday! The judges give Keith a hard time because he wouldn't create an outfit for his dog, and he's a total ass about it. I'm predicting a Heidi/Keith death match in the future. In the end, Katie and Angela are left on the runway and...Angela is "in." No, I typed that correctly. Yes, I know -- what the fuck? Katie's dress was too simple and poorly made, per the judges. I'm sorry, I'm guessing Angela's enraging presence contributed to her safety. OK, that's crazy talk, but...the Keslar has GOT TO GO. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: Vincent and Angela were at each other's throat while competing to create a dress for Miss USA to lose the Miss Universe Pageant in. Surprisingly though, it was Malan who was sent home. Dude really took it hard, too. But Kayne of Many Colors was the winner with the dress that he made with Robert. And now, Tara Conner will always think of him when reliving her defeat. (Fourth runner-up? And you call yourself an American? We don't DO fourth runner-up here! I mean, fucking Canadia won last time. How hard can it be?)
The credits are a little embarrassing now, with Malan saying, "I'm better than they are," and giggling madly. Also, Laura saying, "I'm fabulously glamorous," reminds me of something one of those horrible girls on Sweet 16 might say. Have you ever seen a group of bitches more reprehensible than the assholes featured on that show? They make Santino Rice look Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
As the show begins, everyone is waking up at the Atlas apartment building. Our Kayne of Many Colors is stirring from a peaceful slumber... he is clearly very conscientious about UV ray exposure. He's like Powder. He interviews that, though he has immunity for this challenge, he still wants to impress the judges.
In the kitchen, Robert tells Bradley that Malan's elimination sort of reminded him that someone will be going home every few days. He adds that Malan was a good roommate. Robert's eyes are closed the whole time he's talking. Either he's experiencing some post-sleep grogginess or he's practicing Catherine O'Hara's acting technique from Waiting for Guffman.
Katie says that she was sorry to see Malan leave, but reiterates that she didn't want to go home for a design that was not hers. Oh, Katie. She seems like a sweet girl and I'm not trying to pick on her...but -- I wish someone would remind her that she's on TV. She looks so dumpy all the time. The Tresemme Hair Salon and L'Oreal Make-up Room are your friends. You know most of the boys are getting a wash and set before every runway show -- butt your way in there!
At Parsons, Heidi tells the designers that, for their challenge, they will have to create an outfit based on "one of fashion's hottest accessories." Tim Gunn is going to tell them about it the morning. Hmm, what could it be? The designers kind of giggle to themselves, and it's on to the model-choosing. This week, the winning and losing models are brought onstage. I guess they only got to choose models the one time during the last challenge. Kayne of Many Colors sticks with his model, Katia. That means that Malan's model, Moon, is going home. It kind of sucks for her, because she didn't even get to walk in the losing design -- Malan and Katie used Katie's model. See ya, Moon. Heidi tells the designers to get some rest. Then she rubs her hands together like she's evil and tells them that they will have an early start the day.
That night, at the apartments, the designers are all hanging out and trying to think of what accessory they will be using in the challenge. Let's see... "one of fashion's hottest accessories." My money is on bi-racial babies. Totally hot right now. Ideas tossed around the apartments are cell phones and shoes. No one mentions bi-racial babies. Looks like I'm going to be the only one who was right. Michael says that he hopes that this challenge will be one where they can really "do something." I take it that he's not a fan of pageants. Or shower curtains. Bradley, who is sitting on the floor, says that he thinks the judges are looking for versatility.
The morning at 6 AM, Laura finds a letter that has been slipped under the front door. "Girls, we have a message." I love the way she says "girls." It reminds me of how my grandmother used to talk about the ladies with whom she played bridge. The letter is from Tim and instructs the designers to meet him in Central Park. Laura immediately says, "It's horses. Are horses a fashion accessory." I guess I see why she would think that -- there are stables in Central Park. You can't really bring a horse into Parsons, so that would explain why they have to go to them. Still, babies love the park. It's a fact.
We see the designers traipsing to Central Park, and Laura is wearing riding pants, which I'm afraid just won her my undying affection. Vincent interviews that they didn't know what was going on. I think wearing full body armor was the wrong direction to go in, but Vincent likes to be prepared. Uli thought that there would be a breakfast spread waiting for them. I like the way she thinks. There was no breakfast, though, and it was "cold as shit," according to Michael.
Finally, Tim Gunn arrives with a ton of little puppies on leashes. The designers go wild. There's a puppy for each designer, and they get to choose which one they want. Seriously, the dogs are sick cute. Laura is not happy. She doesn't look like she wants to touch the puppies. She interviews that at 42, with five children, you don't have the "emotional energy" to care for a dog. Fine, but COME ON! They're so cute!!
The rest of the designers seem much happier. Jeffrey says that everyone picked a dog that resembled them, especially Keith. Keith's got this skinny little dog that is bald except for its head, where it has long gray hair. Keith says that he likes "rare things," which I find annoying. Like blood types? No, he means bands that no one has heard of. Bradley and Alison switch dogs, leaving Alison with a white poodle and Bradley with this little shaggy dog. There's cuteness all around. Laura puts her tiny dog in her purse, "so I don't have to touch it." Okay, the lady doth protest too much. You're just afraid to love that dog, Laura! She interviews that she did not pick her dog -- it was the last one left. The dogs do sort of resemble the designers that they were matched with, except for Jeffrey. Instead of getting a poseur dog breed, he got a little Welsh corgi. Now, I'm not very familiar with a lot of small dog breeds, but I lived with a roommate for two years who had a Welsh Corgi and they are maybe the best dogs in the world. They're so sweet and calm -- you almost feel like they're looking out for you. I see no resemblance.
Back at Parsons, Tim tells designers that their challenge is to design a women's outfit inspired by the dog. He wants them to create a story about the owner of the dog. Plus, they have to create a complementary outfit for the dog. They will have two days and $150 each.
During the half-hour sketching period, it's like a slapstick comedy. Each of the designers is trying to sketch and their little dogs are running all over the place. Laura, in particular, seems a little harried -- she tells her dog to sit down and be good while she sketches. I'm not sure that works on children, much less dogs. Robert is trying, with no luck, to get a picture of his dog. I think Bradley is allergic to his.
Alison says that her dog Pepito's owner is a globetrotting fashionista. Angela's "story," meanwhile, is the dumbest fucking thing she's said yet. It's about a British headmistress of an arts camp in Paris called "Jubilee Jumbles." Perhaps you're wondering why this French camp doesn't have a French headmistress or even a French name. Jubilee Jumbles? The sound of those words is... I feel like I'm having an epileptic seizure. That's maybe one of the two or three dumbest FUCKING things I've heard. Her dog's name is Pattycake. Pattycake only thought she had a stupid name until she heard "Jubilee Jumbles." And, in her interview, Angela says "Jubilee Jumbles" without even smiling. In fact, she puts her chin in her hand and props her elbow on her knee like she's breaking it down for us -- getting real. Poor Pattycake. ["The sad thing is that 'Jubilee Jumbles' would have been effing brilliant if she had been joking. But she wasn't." -- Sars]
Keith loves his dog, Morgan. She's so exotic that she doesn't need anything more than a collar and chain. So sayeth Keith. "Please don't make me make something stupid for Morgan," he whines. Jesus, this guy. It's a fucking competition, man. It's like competing in the rings in gymnastics and saying, "Actually, I just feel like doing a soft shoe right now. Please don't make me do the stupid rings." No one made you enter the rings competition in the first place. Go on So You Think You Can Dance if you want to do a soft shoe! You know, Keith, you want these people to give you money to start a business. After that, you never have to make another puppy outfit as long as you live. In the meantime, suck it up. One of the mannequins is like, "Bitch doesn't want to make puppy gear? I'll take his place! I could use a Saturn... get the hell out of here."
Vincent sings to his dog about how he's a good boy as he is putting a little crown on his head. We hear the dog growl. Good judge of character, that dog. Katie's dog is one of the cutest things I've ever seen in my life. Seriously, this show is awakening something in me. I think I have to get a dog.
The designers go to Mood (without the dogs). Alison interviews that she knew exactly what she wanted. I guess her speaking voice is a kind of love-it-or-hate-it thing. I think I love it. It's kind of dreamy. And with her little touch of a lisp, it's youthful yet sophisticated. Uli gets a print, which isn't really a big surprise. I think Uli's sweet, but so far I'm not that jazzed by her work. Not that it's bad -- just not my taste.
Kayne of Many Colors grabs this really dramatic Missoni fabric. He shows Robert and Laura. Robert, in turn, shows a pink tweed fabric that he has gotten for himself that is "Jackie Kennedy and Barbie all rolled into one." Laura replies, "God, mine's so tasteful compared to you guys." Robert says to her, "Oh Laura, always mistaking taste and style." Now, it seems like good-natured ribbing, but I think the production wants us to believe it's more confrontational, because they show us an interview with Kayne of Many Colors where he says that Laura's taste is vanilla and his is Rocky Road.
On their way back into Parsons, I see Kayne of Many Colors's t-shirt. It has a pink ribbon in the middle of it, which is the symbol for charities for breast cancer research. The words read, "Save Those Ta Tas." Brilliant. Definitely Rocky Road.
As Katie begins working, she says that her garment needs to be perfect because she was so close to going home in the last challenge. Unfortunately, her forte is casual sportswear, not fancy lady clothes.
, we see Angela, who is wearing this conductor's hat made from tartan fabric. She interviews that she knew she wanted to make a taffeta skirt in spring colors, "because Pattycake was born in the spring." She went "balls out" while buying fabrics. There's no need to embellish that. Do I need to amplify the stupid? I think you can hear it just fine.
Robert's story is of a "Park Avenue princess who has just checked into rehab and needs someone to take care of her tiny dog for a weekend." Robert explains further that his feeling about "stories" in fashion is that they are "stupid." Robert is so funny.
With thirty minutes to go in the workday, we cut to Bradley. It doesn't look good; nor does it sound good, courtesy of the brassy "something's going down" techno waaooow that's played over the scene of Bradley scratching his head. Keith interviews that Bradley has time-management issues. Bradley agrees. His original idea has proven too difficult, and now he has to backtrack.
The morning, Bradley's got on these mondo sunglasses as he's getting ready to leave the apartment. "Love the shades," says Michael. I'm sorry, y'all, Bradley's so cute.
Vincent informs us that "it'll all come down to the wire -- there's no doubt." Thanks for that. Jeffrey interviews in his phony way that there's no difference between designing clothes for a person and for a dog. "You just design what you want to design for the being that you're designing for." Actually, he kind of has a point. One of the mannequins is like, "Dude, heavy. I'm gonna have that tattooed on my neck." Similar to challenges, Jeffrey feels it necessary to declare that his design is better than anyone else's. Yawn. To his credit, I think he's also trying to say that the other designs are pretty good too.
Vincent gets the giggles over his dog outfit. It makes me uncomfortable. I guess I should ease up on the guy, but... I don't want to. It's manifestly obvious that he's crazy; I didn't make the shit up. He interviews that people aren't considering the importance of the dog outfit. Then he laughs some more about the hat that he made for his dog. It's so naked, his emotion. It's like some sort of porn.
Bradley looks really worried. I'm worried for him. Someone says in the workroom that the day is Bradley's birthday. Everyone summons up a weak "happy birthday" hoot without looking up from their work. Then Jeffrey says wouldn't it be horrible if Bradley had to go home on his birthday. Well, yes, it would be horrible. In fact, I might stop having birthdays if something like that happened on my birthday. My pain would make me ageless. Beautiful? Yes. Tragic? Another yes. I'm torn.
Keith, bless his bastard heart, says that he hopes Bradley is safe for this challenge, but it doesn't look good. He feels like Bradley should have stuck with his original idea because it couldn't possibly be worse than what Angela has made. He thinks her outfit looks like a "big bag of Skittles." We don't see too much of it, but it's certainly colorful.
, Keith is a total bitch in the sewing room. He's looking for a free sewing machine and is so pompous about it. It's like a high school cafeteria and Keith is the meathead on the five-year plan, except paint everything gay. Jeffrey interviews that Keith has a huge ego. Laura says that she has had a problem with Keith for the past week or so. Then it looks like she hears that he is using hers and Michael's thread, so she goes to ask him about it. He's all, "Is it really that big a deal?" Which I hate. And which is extremely effective at inciting people. She kind of faux puffs up and says, "I'm just trying to protect my man!" Then we see him walking past her as she is trying to explain something and he says, "Not this morning," and then gives her one of those interrupting shut-up "Bup! Bup! Bup!"s. Laura continues in her interview that Keith is a shithead and arrogant and mean. Keith interviews that Laura is "bad mommy. I had a good mommy. She's bad mommy." If Keith doesn't die later in this episode or maybe the , I'm imagining we've just witnessed the basis for a great reunion special showdown. I'm all for competitiveness and I don't feel like I'm overly sensitive, but that guy was such an asshole just then. If someone doesn't want you to use their thread, I'm not sure that you should start insulting their parenting skills.
Sweet Bradley pops up to say that there is some "spiciness" occurring in the workroom, but he's just trying to finish his outfit. Then, he rubs his eyes and does this little peek-a-boo thing. My kingdom for that image as a screensaver. I don't really have a kingdom, though, so, empty promise.
With two hours until the end of the workday, Tim Gunn enters. He talks to Katie first. He thinks her outfit is too simple. She says that she could make a hoodie to accessorize it and Tim says, "Katherine?" It sounds like he's going to tell her that if she ever offers to make another hoodie, he will have her hunted down and disemboweled. Instead, he says, "Do it."
He tells Uli that he likes what she's doing. The same with Alison. Then he talks with Keith. Keith says that he's making spats for his dog to wear, but he has the idea of the woman very clear in his mind and she doesn't dress her dog. "But that was the challenge," replies Tim, bored with the silliness. He likes Keith's dress and says that he doesn't want it to be overlooked because he under-designed for the dog. Keith whines in an interview that he knows that the challenge is about accessorizing for the dog, but he thinks it's lame. Poor thing. There should be a support group. Laura is listening the whole time Tim is talking to Keith. She's pissed. Wait until you hear him call you "bad mommy."
Tim talks to Angela and doesn't seem overly pessimistic. He notes that she is going over the top and suggests that she concentrate on her explanation for the judges. Hopefully, that includes leaving out any mention of "Jubilee Jumbles." Uli interviews that she is worried about Angela.
Tim tells Bradley that he doesn't "get" his outfit. He looks concerned. Bradley seems freaked out. Bradley says that the top of his outfit is shaggy, like his dog Stanley. Tim says that it's not pretty, so the story doesn't matter. It has to be redone. Bradley looks like someone just socked him in the stomach.
With an hour left, everyone is working quickly. Uli embroidered "Hi Ladies" into the side of her dog outfit, "for the judges!" Keith tells Bradley to just make an A-line dress. Bradley interviews that he is pretty stressed out. Vincent -- yes, Vincent -- describes Bradley as someone who "likes to jump off bridges and find things as he falls." So, Vincent thinks Bradley has wings. He's worse off than I thought. Bradley doesn't have anything together. He tells Keith that he would rather forfeit than have something bad go down the runway. Aaaand it's the end of the workday. Bradley says that the day is his birthday, and -- at that moment -- he is planning on not showing anything for the runway show. "It sucks." Then, we see him fake hang himself with a tape measure.
The day, everyone is really concerned about Bradley. No one wants him to go home. At Parsons, Tim tells everyone that they'll have two hours to get their models ready before the runway show. He wishes Bradley a happy birthday and asks how his look is coming along. It's not good. Everything is in pieces. Tim says, "I dare not even ask about poor little Stanley." I'm not sure when it will become useful, but I plan on saying "I dare not even ask about poor little Stanley," whenever even remotely possible. Perhaps, if someone's really down on their luck and telling me their story, I could say, "I dare not even ask about poor little Stanley." Then they'd be confused and it might take their mind off of their own troubles for a few moments or something.
Bradley starts racing around trying to finish. Robert says that he's like "a man without a country." Another phrase I love. These guys are like my own personal Bartlett's.
The models enter, and Bradley tells his model that it looks like he might not finish. She kind of reminds him that she would most likely be eliminated too if he goes home, and then he interviews that knowing that someone else is counting on him has motivated him.
It's hair and make-up time. We see Robert tell this hairdresser who can't be older than twenty-three that he wants his model's hair to resemble an "On A Clear Day You Can See Forever bob." I gladly relinquish my title of Gayest Person Ever to Robert. As well, I suggest that he modernize his references when speaking to the younger generation. It looks like that girl thinks that she's supposed to shave the model's head.
We see Alison getting in there and explaining her vision to the hairdresser. She interviews that she would love to win this challenge. She feels very confident about the work that she has done.
Bradley apparently told his model to "use [her] best judgment" in regards to hair and make-up. Hmm... when I think successful model, I think of names like Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell, and Christie Brinkley. Now, with the exception of Kate's stint as Johnny Depp's girlfriend, those girls exhibit some pretty bad judgment. Abusing assistants? Billy Joel? Peter Cook? The time he can't be with his model for hair and make-up, maybe he could stick with the more succinct "Don't fuck this up."
Once the models are ready, Tim announces that he's bringing in their "other models." The models enter carrying their dogs. I repeat -- these dogs are damn cute. It's really funny watching the designers put their designs on the dog. Laura has finally come around and thinks that her dog looks cute in its outfit. I knew that, despite there being no flesh or tissue of any sort nearby to warm it, Laura's heart would melt.
Keith's outfit for his dog doesn't seem to fit. He interviews that his model and the dog are "stunning winners." Then he says like Nellie Oleson, "I am an excellent designer so I stand a very good chance of winning." This guy has got to know that he sounds like a total fuckwit.
Katie didn't have time to make the hoodie that Tim suggested. We see her tell Tim, "I don't think it needed it." Famous last words. For real, Kara Saun tells all of your asses every season that you have GOT TO LISTEN TO TIM GUNN.
Bradley just decides to put a liner in the blouse that he was making before. He makes a quick collar for Stanley and he's done. He interviews that he likes his design, but I don't think he's convincing himself.
At the runway, Heidi greets the designers. The judges this week are Vera Wang (Michael Kors, get your ass back on this show!), Nina, and Ivanka Trump. I must confess, I love Ivanka Trump. I think she's sick pretty and I love her sort of laconic manner. As well, she inspired an Imperial Teen song that kept me running on the treadmill for most of 2002. She's being titled "VP of Development -- Trump Organization."
The show begins with Kayne of Many Colors's outfit. He used that Missoni fabric for a skirt and topped it with a low-cut sleeveless blouse. She's wearing this glossy black jacket over everything. It's, um, not quiet. His little puppy is wearing a little jacket made of the same black vinyl. His stuff is starting to remind me of Nick Verreos's work. For better and for worse. Sometimes, it can just all be a bit too much. Kayne of Many Colors loves it. He feels like his model worked it like a "rich bitch" and that suits him just fine. Nina seems pleased with it too.
is Uli's look. She made a halter-top dress with a dramatic print and a little jacket covering it that's really pretty. Good accessories too. Uli's pleased. It looks like the judges get a kick out of the message that was on her dog's outfit.
Robert's look is . His model has on a pink tweed skirt and a flowing white blouse. It's really cute. She certainly matches the little toy black dog that she's walking. The dog's name is Chanel. I hate whoever named that dog Chanel. It reminds me of when Kathie Lee Gifford had dogs named Chablis and Chardonnay.
Alison's look follows. It looks great. It's a white dress and white jacket. The model is wearing black stockings and heels, which look hot. The little white poodle is wearing a matching white jacket. It all looks really good and Alison seems happy with it.
Bradley's design is . I'm worried. I mean, it's not falling off of the model or anything. The skirt is nice. It's high-waisted and purple. The blouse is sleeveless and gold and looks a lot more finished than when Tim was hating on it. Still, it's kind of poofy and it just seems odd. His dog, Stanley, has this little purple collar that's pretty cute and it seems really appropriate for the dog. Bradley says he's just happy to have gotten clothes on the girl. "As long as I don't get swallowed in the jaws of the judges." Still cute, that Bradley.
is Keith's design. The dress is beautiful. It's this really beautiful print with orange and brown. Perfectly tailored, with a halter top that covers the entire bust. The interest is at the collar, where there's this beautiful kind of flowering of the fabric. Really lovely. And the skirt has movement and it looks great. But she's carrying the dog, and the dog doesn't have anything on it. Keith interviews that it's perfect and that the dog doesn't need any accessories. You can see him eyeing the judges pretty nervously during the show, though, so I think he knows he may have fucked up a bit.
And here's Bonnie Dominguez's outfit. The Bonnie that I had actually forgotten existed. Her model has a black dress on and a large white wrap/coat contraption. Her dog is wearing a white sweater with black spots on it. I guess the coat is pretty interesting. I can't really see enough of the dress, though. Bonnie -- wait, who? Oh, Bonnie. Bonnie says that she's happy with what she sent down the runway.
Katie's dress is , and it is far too simple. It's a slip dress, with a little bit of layering at the bust. Super simple. Her dog has on a hoodie, which is cute. Ten bucks says Katie is selling doggie hoodies online (in addition to the one we're seeing right now) before the season is done. Anyway, she seems happy with it. Well, might as well be, right? What's done is done.
Up is Michael's look. Damn, it's sexy. It's this brown tweed that looks like it was wrapped around the model like an ace bandage. I mean that in a good way. First, it fits her like a glove and just looks really good. Also, at the bust, different strips of fabric are interwoven and it looks really cool. The bottom of the skirt flares a little bit, which I think is a nice touch. The dog is wearing a coat in a similar fabric. Michael really loves his design.
is Vincent's model. Unfortunately, she didn't get dressed. But she's still walking and no one is saying anything. ... Shit, is that the design? Holy crap, it's a jumper over biker shorts. I am not kidding. So, when Vincent said that everyone was ignoring the importance of the dog outfit, what he was really trying to say was that everyone should make a dog outfit and... that's it. The dog has a hat and a little polka-dotted jumper. I mean, I guess I see a story. She seems like a beatnik or something. But would a beatnik dress her dog? Hells no! I guess there's a small chance that Vincent got the dog and the model confused. The dog hates its hat. It looks like it's going crazy, which gives further credence to Jeffrey's theory that everyone chose the dog most like them.
Laura's design is and is nice, except for the fact that it has the same furry collar and sleeves as her coat from the first challenge. Do not bore us, Laura. Otherwise, it's a pretty tweed suit. The dog has a matching jacket on -- that actually looks really well made. Funny, considering she didn't want to do it in the first place. Laura said that the dog was "actually kinda cute."
Stop the effing presses, Angela's outfit is here. It is... not okay. First of all, a poster mentioned that it looked like something Lea Thompson might wear in Howard The Duck and I have to fervently and sadly concur. Angela really thinks she is on the edge that cuts, doesn't she? It's this purple skirt that's like a bubble with all of these little balls of fabric on it. The shirt exposes the girl's belly. She just looks kind of naked. Angela is freaking stoked. She says her outfit is unlike anything anyone else has done. With good reason, Angela. Talent's a funny thing -- you don't end up making fucking ridiculous bubble skirts and shirts from Forever 21 when you have even a tiny modicum of it.
Jeffrey's design is ; it's a nice cocktail dress with tiers of fabric that start right under the bust. The little corgi is wearing a long-sleeved jacket. I don't think he likes it. He struggles a bit.
After the show, Alison, Bradley, Keith, Angela, Katie, and Uli are asked to stay. The others leave. So, Vincent isn't in the bottom three? This is weird. The models come out with the dogs.
Uli says that her story is that of a partying hipster who is having brunch after a night out. Everyone likes it. Vera notes that Uli's pug is usually "more butch," so seeing it in a feminine print is different. That's not really true, Vera. I see musclemen with little dogs all of the time and girly-girls with pit bulls. I guess she's just trying to think of something to say.
Katie says that her girl is simple because her dog is sporty. Wow, bad story. Heidi takes the bait that was really just handed to her and says that she likes the dog's outfit better than the girl's. Nina agrees -- she also thinks the hems are ratty. Ivanka nicely points out that it looks like she spent more time on the dog's outfit.
Alison says that her girl is a Japanese girl working in fashion who travels with her dog all the time and is in New York for Fashion Week as a buyer. Also, she's afraid of balloons. And twins are born every other generation in her family. Pretty intricate story Alison has there, and the judges love it. Vera also likes the hairstyle of the model, which we all saw Alison directing earlier. Good job.
Heidi tells Angela that it looks like her model is going exactly where she is going. I didn't even notice that. Angela is wearing another ridiculous skirt just like the one she made for her model. Well, she doesn't reply to Heidi, she just tells us her design story. She doesn't even get the girl's job title out of her mouth before Nina Garcia is grinning. You gotta love her sometimes. It's sometimes bitchy, but it's from the heart. Angela says that her model is throwing a birthday party for the camp's mascot, Pattycake. The ONE smart thing Angela has done this entire show is to not say "Jubilee Jumbles" on that stage. I can almost forgive, I don't know, the shirt. I'll forget the shirt she made. I mean, the skirt's bad enough to hate her forever so it's not like I'm really giving anything up. But, as a gesture... what shirt? Angela says that the camp is for children ages six to twelve, and Heidi thinks that her model might be dressed a little too racy for young children. What, it's more appropriate for your teenager to see? And who sends a six-year-old to camp? That's an orphanage, not a camp. Ivanka agrees that it would be inappropriate for young children.
Nina thinks that Angela's story is a bunch of bullshit. "I don't even know what to say." Vera throws Angela a bone and commends the draping of the skirt; however, she doesn't like the "style." In Project Runway-speak, we call that "taste level."
Bradley's dog is going nuts, so he picks him up at the same time he is asked to describe his outfit. He looks frazzled. He says that his girl is an architect who is confident and likes simplicity and structure. He says it all kind of like a question. And oh my God, Vera loves the idea. She loves the colors. Nina loves the profile and says that she could imagine shooting the look for Elle. Folks, I did not expect that. I thought Bradley was a goner!
Keith says his girl is modern and wouldn't dress her dog up in "baby doll clothes." That's right, Keith. Beat 'em to the punch. Be an asshole before they even mention the fact that you didn't follow the guidelines of the challenge. Heidi says that she was wondering why there were no clothes on the dog. Keith corrects her and says that the dog is "styled." Heidi corrects him and says that the dog is "accessorized." Nina says that his dress is great, but she expected more. Oh God, then Keith says that he made "many, many outfits for the dog," which gets a laugh from Nina because it's total bullshit. Alison is shaking her head on the stage. She looks pissed that he's being such a jerk.
Heidi says that it's hard to judge Keith when there is no fabric on the dog that he made. Keith says there's a little sash on the dog that he did make. I know this all seems like tiny stuff, but it was the weirdest argument. Stick with me. He's pointing at this bracelet thing that is around the dog's neck and Heidi's like, "You made that?" Then, he waffles and is all, "Well... " Nina says, "If you give us a hard time, we're going to give you a hard time right back." Heidi, like the bad-ass she is, goes right up to the stage and tells Keith to show her what he made on the dog. When he shows her this little piece of fabric, she says, "You made it sound like you made this bracelet." He gets this weepy-sounding voice and says, "I worked very hard on that, Heidi." Where the fuck am I where people act like this? ["I thought he was joking around (which actually would make him even more of a dick), but I could be wrong." -- Sars] They end by saying that it's hard to judge his dress when there's no outfit on the dog.
When the judges start deliberating, Heidi says, "Let's start with Bradley Baumkirchner." Now, if any of you have this on TiVo or DVR, go back and listen to her say that. She's a crazy warrior. Hormones? Who can say for sure. All I know is it scares me. And I like it. All of the judges love his outfit for its originality.
The judges like Uli's dress a lot, and the outfit that she made for her dog. Ivanka thinks that, above all of the designers, Alison really had a complete look. Vera liked Katie's doggy hoodie, but nothing else. Nina says there was a lack of originality there. About Angela, Nina says, "I. Did. Not. Really. Like. This. At. All." Me. Neither. Ivanka thinks that Angela's model looked like a streetwalker. Ivanka also did not like Keith's attitude. Girl has been watching her reality TV too, because she suggests watching footage of the workroom to see if Keith really made "many, many outfits for the dog." Otherwise, everyone liked the dress.
The judges have decided, and they bring the designers back out. Uli is the winner of the challenge. I personally liked Alison's better, but Uli's was great. Also, she honestly seems like a really sweet lady. Uli interviews that she was surprised. , Alison is "in." She seems upset. Bradley is "in!" Yay! He seems really relieved. Keith is "in." Heidi says that he might have won, had he designed an outfit for his dog. Keith interviews that it doesn't make sense that he didn't win. Argh. So, it doesn't make sense that they asked you to do something and you just didn't do it -- and you didn't win? He adds that there was no "good execution on the stage" except for his, which is total bullshit and so stupid. Isn't all this a little too much trouble to go to for not wanting to make a fucking puppy sweater? You stupid, stupid man.
It's down to Katie and Angela. Heidi says that Katie's outfit was poorly executed and uninspired. She says that Angela's outfit was well constructed but over the top. And, snap, they question her taste level. I knew it was coming some time. Angela is... "in." For real? Her construction was good enough to forgive that monstrosity? Wow.
Katie says that she was shocked to be auf'd. She gets hugs from everyone backstage. She says that she still likes what she made. When she's cleaning up her workspace, she writes a note that reads: "I had a blast. Miss you all! Good luck." She concludes that it's best to go home with a design that you liked. I guess.