Previously: the designers worked as teams, and there was much drama. Jay loved it and predicted that a bitch might get stabbed. Kevin won the rock and roll challenge. Wendy crapped on Austin, and there was mutual crapping between Kevin and Nora. Vanessa was eliminated because she can't sew. Only eight designers remain!
It's morning at the Atlas apartments and Austin arises in gingham PJs with a matching scarf -- very Little Lord Fauntleroy meets Jethro from The Beverly Hillbillies. He interviews that Wendy talked smack about him on the runway. Wendy, for her part, interviews that she thinks her relationship with Austin has "suffered." He is playing wounded and that "doesn't sit well with" her: "I don't like that." You could easily dub over what Wendy is saying with the sentences "Austin can go fuck himself. Like I give two shits how he feels," and the facial expressions that she is using would work perfectly. However, if you just look at the words she said, it sounds like she is bothered that Austin might be mad at her. Suddenly, the Dichotomy finds itself completely represented in ONE sentence. Wendy is saying something like an asshole, but the words are nice. If I were competing against Wendy Pepper, she'd totally beat me because she's so confusing. And, because I can't design or sew.
Nora acknowledges in her interview that she behaved inappropriately during the challenge. As she is sitting on the edge of the bathtub in the apartment, she rasps that she deserves to be there because she works so hard. As Jay is cleaning the kitchen (I'm always impressed when I see a person cleaning his space on a reality TV show), he says that Vanessa's elimination was a wake-up call. Not the kind of wake-up call where you go, "Oh God, I'm ." More "Hey, I might win Project Runway. That's funny." You forget that, as inevitable as a lot of victories seem on these competition shows, most of the contestants probably imagine themselves losing. At least, they probably only think in terms of how long they can hang on. Anyway, Jay says that he's feeling competitive for the first time on the show.
At the runway, here comes Heidi with the button bag. "Just to keep things a little interesting" (yeah, the designers seem bored), she is going to have them pick their models before she gives them the challenge. Kevin gets first pick, because he won the challenge. He chooses Olga. Jay chooses "Morganza" (that's Morgan), which I find really odd. What about Julia? Austin picks up the slack and chooses Julia. Nora chooses last, and the remaining models are Melissa and Audrey. She chooses Melissa. Backstage, the models mourn. Holy crap, Audrey is seventeen years old! She interviews that she is a senior in high school and still has "a little bit of stuff to do." Take care, Audrey!
On the runway, Heidi tells the designers to take a good look at their models, because they are the designers' new clients. Everyone seems excited, though a few of the designers seem confused and apprehensive. Heidi then says, "I'll give you a hint. Dum, dum dum dum...." It's the wedding march. The challenge is working with clients, and the designers each have to create the wedding dress their models want. Jay looks like he just issued his own death sentence. Kara Saun, who chose Jenny, interviews that she is really glad she chose a model of the low-maintenance/low-drama variety. Heidi, possibly having flashbacks to the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue of 199-whenever, says in a low grim tone, "I hope you've been good to them, because now they are in charge."
Jay interviews that "Morganza" has been difficult, dramatic, moody, and...uh, crazy. With every adjective, we are shown an example of Morgan acting like a fool. Jay says that he chose Morgan because of her walk, but that if he had known the nature of the challenge, he would have chosen a different model. Well, sure. Heidi concludes on the runway that the designers will have an hour to meet with the models, and two days to finish their design.
At the Workshop, Tim Gunn speaks to the designers before they have their consultations with the models. He encourages the designers not to give in entirely to the models' wishes: they must retain creative control over the project. He then cautions the designers that the losing design will end up in the "Fashion Cemetery," which is a line-up of the designs responsible for the eliminations. They are in the back of the Workshop, so that they can haunt everyone. I bet Austin is a little annoyed that his design from last week is back there. The dresses look so sad. Somewhat appropriately, Starr's looks the saddest. Suddenly, we hear the approach of the models. They are all singing the wedding march, Heidi-style. Lots of "dum dum"s (non-euphemistically). Alexandra says to herself, "They're excited."
The models come in, and each goes to the worktable of her designer. Morgan is immediately all up in Jay's grill telling him how she wants a dress like the black Versace gown Cameron Diaz wore to the FIRST Charlie's Angels premiere. For the love of God, Jay, please don't confuse it with the second Charlie's Angels. Please. Jay seems mortified. He interviews that Morgan came into the room like a monster. Perhaps "Morgzilla" is a more appropriate name for her. Morgan interviews that she is very excited: "This is the best...what is it called? Challenge? This is the best challenge ever."
The Morgan/Jay disaster in the making is juxtaposed with Alexandra and Erin. Erin says, "Do whatever." Of course, Alexandra is thrilled.
Julia tells Austin that her favorite colors are silver, gray, and leopard.
Melissa, who is all of sixteen, describes to Nora the dress she has been dreaming of her "entire life." I've dreamt of sandwiches for longer than that. Because Melissa's middle name is "Rose," she has to have roses in her dress. Lots of roses. Thank goodness she wasn't named "Turnip" or "Rattlesnake." Nora is disturbed by how hokey Melissa's idea is. She interviews, "She doesn't know. She's not a designer." Then, we hear her tell Melissa, "You're a good designer!" It's Opposites Day in the Workshop.
Olga drawls in her thick Russian dialect that she needs lots of jewels in her gown. Kevin, who is not playing along for Opposites Day, says, "Really?" He's looking at her like she's from outer space. He interviews that Olga's idea is "gaudy." Then, he relates her poor taste to the fact that she's Russian. Nyet nice, Kevin. Then, comes one of the funniest exchanges I've ever heard. It's totally a Balki/Larry Appleton moment. Olga is describing the bodice of the dress for Kevin, who is resting his head in his hand on his worktable. She is saying "corset" with the thickest accent, and Kevin goes, "Car seat?" Like, he's bewildered that she would want him to put a car seat on her wedding dress. When, he corrects himself, neither of them laughs about it, which seems a little humorless. I mean, come on! Car seat/corset! That's fucking comedy, man! Kevin interviews that he will work very hard to make Olga happy. Olga, in turn, interviews laughingly that she is going to "crack the whip." I'm just glad to know she can laugh.
Jay is seen trying to talk Morgan out of her idea. He kind of explains to her that, though she wants a sheer gown with cut-out and "flip-flops," he needs to make sure he isn't eliminated. Morgan interviews that she is "gonna make Jay [her] bitch."
After the girls have gone, the designers share horror stories. Kevin tells Jay that Olga only wants diamonds, and Jay's reply is, "Poor fucking thing." I'm not sure if he means Olga or Kevin, but both are the same sentiment, really -- the sentiment being Kevin's gonna have to make a tacky dress. Jay interviews that the designers all think that the girls are clueless and want "to look like Disney characters" for this challenge. Kevin seems genuinely frightened by Olga. Robert points out that most designers have months to make a wedding gown, and that they have two days. Commercials.
Tim Gunn greets the designers at Mood, a fabric store. Each designer gets $300 and forty-five minutes to shop. "Make it work!" Yes sir!
Austin is going for some far-out prints, because Julia's favorite color is leopard. He picks out a print that has teal in it, and explains to the camera that he is getting it because Julia like leopard. I guess he's going for "close enough."
After an unknown length of time, Robert realizes that the tinted glasses he is wearing are affecting his perception of the fabrics that he is viewing. No lie. He interviews that he designed his ex-wife's wedding gown. I guess that proves that it's bad luck to see the dress before the day of the wedding.
Nora interviews that Melissa wants flowers in her hair and on her hands. She says that it is totally not her, but we still see her ask someone at the fabric store for all the flowers they've got.
Back at the Workshop, Austin laments the short length of time they have to work on their designs. That must be really hard for someone like Austin, who designs such elaborate dresses, with lots of details.
We see Jay trying to reach Morgan on his cell phone. When he finally reaches her, she is rambling that she doesn't want sequins (huh?) on her dress. Jay begs her to let him speak, but she just keeps going. Later, we see him saying that he is worried about this challenge. Then, he goes, "And, now the biggest day of her life -- I'm the one making the fucking dress for it!" It's really funny. He seems to be making fun of the models a little bit, because they are taking this really seriously. Someone needs to remind them that they aren't really getting married. Jay tosses around the idea of sabotaging Morgan, and decides that the best way to do that would be to "make what Nora's making. Morgan, I decided to cover your dress with roses." Nora replies, "This isn't my design. This is Miss Pageant USA's dress."
Nora continues, saying that Melissa was very detailed in expressing what she wants. She reasons that the models are so often told what to wear and not given any choice -- so when they have a little power, it can become contentious.
Austin shows Julia the crazy print he bought. She loves it. Wendy interviews that Austin seems "off his game." She believes that, when working with a client, you have to try to think like her. Austin "operates on one frequency." She believes that the collaboration will suffer. Well, first of all, she has a point that Austin's ideas usually flow from the same general style. However, wedding gowns would seem to be a perfect marriage (pun intended) with that style. Romantic, feminine=wedding gown. What's the problem? Second, fuck you, Wendy Pepper. Austin interviews that Julia's style is different from his, and that he is going to give her what she wants.
Nora explains to Melissa that she has hundreds of flowers that she will dye for Melissa's dress.
Kara Saun tells Jenny that the dress will be simple -- low-cut in front and back. She interviews that she wants to show the judges she is versatile. I love Kara Saun's work, but aren't most of her designs low-cut in front and back? Just saying.
We see Austin fashion for himself a lovely garbage-bag frock, for which to protect himself from the dye he is using. He cuts a very New Look silhouette.
Wendy says thatshe is happy with this challenge because she has made so many boring wedding dresses and formal gowns. Well, I'm paraphrasing. She's happy with the challenge.
The dye Nora has purchased for the flowers is the wrong shade of red. She says she is not going to freak out.
Wendy says that she loves the design she has created for Joy and "[she] suspect[s] it will win." The last part is delivered chillingly. For the great comfort of the audience, Austin interviews that Wendy's designs are unflattering and stupid: "She just doesn't understand the basics of design, in addition to her being out of tune with the world." Thank you for that, Austin.
That night, the designers go out on the town. Robert announces that he is sexually frustrated. He's flirting with Alexandra. She's not buying. In fact, she interviews that she and Robert are "just friends." As they are getting ready to leave, Robert is doing pull-ups on the scaffolding outside. Jay interviews that Robert is "fueled by sex." Well, they've certainly kept that hidden from the audience, because, though he seems like a flirty guy, we've seen no hint of the sex-machine side of Robert. Anyway, he's showing off for Alexandra on the scaffolding and tries to do a flip. Only instead of the flip, he falls on his head. Everyone gasps. His head is bleeding. Somebody fuck this guy before he kills himself! While Kara Saun is taking Robert to the hospital, the other designers go back to the apartment. In the van, Jay sings a song about how Robert broke his head showing off for Alexandra. Everyone screams. It's very junior-high out-of-town track-meet bus ride. I love it.
At the hospital, Robert announces that he will leave if they try to cut his hair. They only put a couple of staples (ew!) in the back of his head, though, and then he's fine. On the way back to the apartment, he says, "I could've done that pole vault better. The landing kind of sucked." Commercials.
The day, Tim Gunn asks Jay about his design. Jay tells Tim that Morgan wants some weird cut-outs on the gown. Tim tells Jay to remind Morgan that he's the designer and she's the model, which makes Jay laugh. Tim, in a neato black v-neck sweater with blue and tan diamonds on it, tells Jay, "The one thing you don't want to utter on that runway, during the judging, is 'Morgan made me do it.'" To which Jay replies, "Oh, hell no!" As well, Tim sagely reminds Jay that Morgan is "already labeled as a kook." Hello, designers! Did you hear that? Don't pick the girl. You could be putting pretty Audrey in a dress right now, but no. We get Morgan.
Tim seems really perplexed by Nora's design. I don't think he really knows what to say.
Jay explains to Morgan that he had to change her concept. She is surprisingly cool with it. He interviews that he is really hoping Morgan holds it together for the twenty-four hours.
Olga comes in with her boyfriend, Gustav (kind of cute, kind of bland -- very Russian). Gustav starts to give Kevin some advice about how to bejewel Olga's dress even more extensively than it's already disgustingly splattered with crap. Kevin interviews that he thinks Olga believes she is designing the dress.
Suddenly, more of the girls start coming in with their boyfriends. The guys are a little disappointing, because I'm thinking hot models=hot boyfriends. Not so, in this instance. Rich, Julia's boyfriend, meets Austin. He seems pretty laid-back (read: stoner). Joy brings in her boyfriend, Aaron. With a super-dark tan, a Mickey Mouse t-shirt, and a hand saucily placed on his hip, I'm thinking that if that is Joy's boyfriend, she needs to have a little pow wow with my college girlfriends. Kara Saun interviews that, with the way the models are acting, you'd think they were really getting married. Then, we see Wendy insincerely tell Joy and Liberace what a lovely couple they make.
Austin's dress for Julia is looking a little eccentric; however, on second look, her boyfriend is looking cuter. Wendy looks at it and says, "Stunning." In her interview, she says that she doesn't like it.
Robert is trying to sell Martinique on the lace he has purchased, but she thinks it looks "like an old lady." Kara Saun, from the other side of the Workshop, goes, "That's expensive lace, wasn't it Rob?" Martinique is sold. Immediately, Kara Saun whispers to the camera, "All you have to do is tell them it was expensive and they'll like it. Trick of the trade." Damn, that is fucking impressive. It was like a card trick, the way she made that happen.
Nora bluffs that she is happy the dye she bought wasn't right. Red, she says, is too literal. Whatever gets you through the day, crazy pants. Everyone is worried about finishing his or her dress.
The morning, Jay says he doesn't know what is going to happen at the elimination. Robert, in his banana hammock underwear, interviews that someone's "going to get left at the aisle [sic] on their [sic] wedding day." Okay, any tiny crush on Robert? Gone. Nipples like garbage-can lids, people. I'm sorry, I'm not making this up. Kara Saun interviews that, though she is taking each challenge one at a time, her big picture is the runway show at Fashion Week.
At Parsons, Tim Gunn tells the designers that they have four and a half hours to fit their models and have their makeup ready before the show. Melissa loves her dress. Jenny almost cries when she is wearing Kara Saun's dress. Jay's dress looks good, except it's a little long. Morgan won't let him hem it, because she doesn't want to see her shoes. Olga hates her dress. It "eetches" because Kevin didn't put a liner in it. As everyone is scrambling to get ready for the runway show, Olga is crying about the itching. At one point, she even tells the cameraperson to go away. Commercials.
Heidi welcomes the designers to the runway. The judges this week are Michael Kors; Anne Slowey, who is the Fashion News Director at Elle and needs a little quality time in the L'Oreal Hair and Make-up Lab for a hot oil treatment (for real, girl needs to condition); and Amsale, who is in Heidi's words "a highly sought-after wedding-dress designer." We see a few photos of Amsale's work. It's pretty.
Wendy's dress is first. It has a strapless corset. There's a red trim at the neckline. The skirt is multi-layered, giving the gown a kind of airy goddess feel. At the center of the neckline begins a red strap that continues over one shoulder to the back of the gown, where it runs into the lacing for the corset. The lacing is red. The corset is opened at an angle, revealing a triangle-shaped section over Joy's back. The red lacing stretches over the exposed back. I don't really like the back, but the silhouette created by the gown is pretty. Wendy, of course, interviews that her gown will save the world or some shit.
Nora's gown is . Help! Someone help, Melissa! She has been attacked by...oh. Those are the flowers. The purple flowers are everywhere: on the skirt, in her hair...they're disgusting. Otherwise, it's a standard-issue puffy white wedding dress with an off-the-shoulder kind of Bateau neckline.
Robert's dress is . It's a lovely strapless gown with a lace-covered bodice. The sheer skirt flares into an A-line. The skirt is removable to make the gown a really short dress. It's hot. I don't know that many brides, outside of Melania Trump, who want to show that much boob on their wedding day, but if you got it....
is Kevin's dress. Olga looks like she's going to rip the gown off. Kevin wonders, in an interview, if Olga was happy. He politely says that although she wanted more "diamonds," he wanted to keep it minimal. Why are you restraining yourself now, Kevin? Just a little while earlier, you were calling her a tacky Russian. The gown is pretty. It's strapless, with jewels across the top of the bodice. They actually look like tiny mirrors, and it looks quite pretty. The dress is floor-length and fitted, though there is excess for a moderately long train in the back. Very pretty. As well, Olga is wearing a neat little veil -- small, covering her eyes. It's cool.
Jenny comes out in Kara Saun's gown. It's a shimmering, silvery satin. And...you guessed it, low-cut in the front and bag. Fitted very nicely. There are jewels lining the neckline and back. The dress is fitted, floor-length, with a slight train. It's pretty, but Kara Saun hasn't broken any new ground with this design.
Wow. Here's Julia in Austin's dress. It's a thigh-high teal satin dress with spaghetti straps. She's wearing several strands of rhinestone beads. There's a dark sash right below her waist. Attached to the sash in the back is a monstrous bustled train of red and white organza, mixed with more teal satin. At the bottom of the train is the crazy fabric that Austin couldn't stop talking about. You can hardly see it! Heidi makes a face like she's going to vomit. Austin interviews that he knows it's not a traditional wedding gown, nor is it like something he would normally design. I think perhaps Austin is in his head too much. He was so desperate to make something different from what he usually does that he has gone too far in the opposite direction.
, we have Alexandra's gown. It reminds me of a column version of her Banana Republic dress. It has a drop waist, layers of frill, and a plunging neckline. There's some asymmetry in the layering. And, it's white. It's really pretty. Alexandra interviews that she loves designing wedding gowns.
Oh God, here comes Morgan. She stumbles onto the runway. The dress is too long. Finally, she gets her bearings, but not before the judges are all scribbling on their note cards and shit. The dress is gorgeous. Really fitted and simple, with sleeves right at the shoulders. It's white, with ivory satin and organza layers peeking out at the bottom. Jay interviews that Morgan was really difficult, but that he feels like he pulled the challenge off.
Heidi and her fellow judges have tabulated the scores. Wendy, Robert, Kevin, and Alexandra are safe. Wendy interviews that she is disappointed. Fuck off, Wendy, did you see the other gowns? Yours doesn't suck, but, like, five other gowns are clearly better than yours, you stupid...I hate you.
The models come out to stand with the designers. Heidi asks the models if they are happy with their gowns. Jenny (Kara Saun's model) says that she almost started crying. Morgan says that Jay did exactly what she wanted. Melissa smiles really sincerely and tells the judges that Nora's dress is what she has dreamed of since she was a little girl. Julia tells the judges that she wanted something unusual, not a "white wedding." Michael Kors tells Kara Saun that her dress fits Jenny beautifully. Anne Slowey asks Jay what he likes about his dress. He says he likes the bottom, since it represents is signature style. Then, he says he worked with Morgan because she wanted Helmut Lang. Morgan: "Slash...." Jay: "Calvin Klein." Then, Anne points out that Morgan couldn't walk in the dress. Morgan tries to convince the judges that she wouldn't be doing a runway walk down the aisle, and Anne replies, "You weren't doing a runway walk here. You couldn't." Ouch. Anne asks Austin what he would do differently. He says, "Not a lot." I don't understand that. I guess he is trying to stand by his design, but he clearly would have done a totally different dress give the opportunity. Amsale says she likes the dress, but is having a hard time imagining it as a wedding dress. Anne tells Austin that he is responsible for his own vision. Michael tells Nora that you could find her dress in any bridal boutique. Nora's style is nowhere in the design. Nora replies that she understood the challenge to be giving the model exactly what she wanted. Michael Kors tells her that she "tipped the scales." They leave the runway.
The judges confer. Anne likes that Jay's dress is simple and smart at the same time. Amsale notes that he didn't compromise his style for the client. As Michael says that he's sure Jay has now learned only to put garments on the runway the move well, Jay and Morgan are talking backstage. Morgan says she usually walks perfectly, and Jay replies, "That's why I picked you, but NOT ANYMORE." He's laughing, but...you know he means it. Kara Saun's gown made the model's face light up. The judges think she retained her creative stamp. They hate Nora's gown. Boring. Heidi argues that Melissa is young, and that "big, poofy" gowns are what young girls want. Didn't you get married, like, naked on a beach, Heidi? They think Nora was essentially just a dressmaker for this challenge. Now, they speak of Austin's dress. Michael feels like Austin was "steamrollered." He feels that even someone getting married in "Williamsburg, in a loft" wouldn't get married in a dress like his. I guess you haven't heard, Michael Kors, but all of your rich friends have moved into Williamsburg, making it too expensive and bourgeois for the kind of bohemians who would even consider wearing a dress like Austin's. Pick a new neighborhood for that point. Of course, New York is so gentrified and expensive at this point, you may have to pick a new state. Backstage, Austin tells Kevin that the judges thought his dress was "too weird."
The designers come back onstage. Kara Saun is the winner of the challenge. Good for her, but it's a bummer that Jay didn't win. I thought his dress was better. Jay, however, is still "in." Austin is wigging. Nora seems pretty cool. She has one of those hideous purple flowers pinned to her shirt. Heidi tells Nora that she compromised too much, and that Austin's gown looks nothing like a wedding dress. Austin has sweat on his upper lip. He is "in." Nora is going home. Austin stumbles off of the runway. Nora keeps her cool. I guess somebody owes her $10. She interviews that she is embarrassed that she has to leave the show with the wedding gown being her last gown, since it is so unlike her. She says she is going to miss everyone on the show. She cries to Alexandra that she wanted to do more. Don't worry, Nora! I'm sure we'll see a lot more of you in the future.