| Season AS2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.29.2012
The designers are asked to make an avant-garde that was androgynous. This is obviously a problem for the girlier of the designers, like Uli and Laura Kathleen. Also, Kayne of Many Colors considers Lady Gaga androgynous. I don’t think that’s true. I’m hesitant to even call Kayne’s Exhibit B, Adam Lambert, androgynous. Aren’t they just post-gender or something? Whatever. It’s really not very important. Anyway, so they are working away when Georgina comes in. There’s a catch. They also have to create a companion look that will be worn by an actual dude. We get some time with male models and that’s always a bonus. Kayne of Many Colors inquires about the sexuality of his male model then proposes that he set one of his sisters up with the poor guy.
Emilio rightly points out that most of the designers don’t really embrace the androgynous part of the challenge, though we see a lot of avant-garde. Jason Wu and Robert Rodriguez (the fashion designer, not the director of Spy Kids -- I know, that would have made more sense) are the guest judges. The show begins and...I don’t know. I honestly don’t know what to say. They’re all interesting, I guess. The styling is a bit forced. Kayne of Many Colors maybe lost his mind? It’s so weird, what he does. He puts the poor boy in houndstooth hot pants.
After the show, Josh, Ivy and Althea are safe. Backstage, Josh says something snotty about how he is a design force to be reckoned with and Ivy says that she doesn’t think they should let their own egos get in their way. He gets super offended by this and proceeds to essentially say that she has made the same blazer over and over. Rude. She doesn’t get drawn into it though, so I’m declaring her the winner. Althea even interviews that Josh is merely projecting his frustration at never being loved by the judges.
The judges really love Uli’s looks. Jason Wu is adorable. He should be graduating from high school soon, I’m assuming. Carolyn totally pops a woody for Emilio’s male model. He is really gorgeous. The judges also like Uli and Anthony Ryan. The bottom are Kayne of Many Colors, Laura Kathleen and Casanova. Emilio wins the challenge! The bottom two are Kayne of Many Colors and Laura Kathleen. And LK is...in. Kayne gets a little choked up backstage and tells the other designers that working with them was the most important part of the all-star experience for him. That’s sweet.
Previously: The designers competed to be featured in USA Today. Laura Kathleen is an asshole and everyone hates her. Anthony Ryan won the challenge! Joshua got lambasted for his super tacky design, but it was Andrae -- with his wacky paneled look -- who was eliminated. I actually like the idea of an outfit that is changeable like that; it's like you're wearing the house in Clue. It's actually not like that at all, but if you committed a crime somewhere, it would be a helluva a lot easier to escape unnoticed if you could slip behind a corner and, I don't know, remove your butt panel and make it a wrist cuff. No one would know who you were then. Unless, of course, there were some fancy retinal scanner things or finger print readers around. Seriously, if that's the case, you're fucked and maybe you should have done some research and crime doesn't pay unless you are organized. So Andrae is now free to continue to be a unicorn in his personal life.
Do you notice how they say that the winning designer will "have the chance" to design for Nine West? Does this mean that they can't force them to design for Nine West? I think they should be able to force them. Carolyn greets the designers on the runway wearing white slacks and a black tuxedo vest with no bra on underneath. I can't stop saying that she's beautiful so please don't ask me to stop. The designers ooh and ahh at her sideboob and Laura Kathleen says "Wow" with that insanely nasal voice of hers. Carolyn reminds us that there are only nine designers left. This challenge involves one of the fashion world's biggest current trends, androgyny. Some are excited, some not. Ivy informs us that androgyny means that whatever the silhouette, the look could be worn by a man or a woman. Joshua says that he loves androgyny. No he doesn't. He loves 1980s women from Miami. There's nothing androgynous about that. Carolyn continues and says that their looks should include masculine and feminine characteristics. Laura Kathleen is worried. She interviews that nothing about her aesthetic if androgynous, so she's not sure what she's going to do. Carolyn says that they shouldn't limit themselves -- they should create avant-garde looks. Anthony Ryan hears this as the judges saying that they want to see something new and fresh. They will get $150 to spend at Mood, and then the rest of the day to work on their looks.
| Season AS2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.29.2012
They have 30 minutes to sketch in the workroom before Mood. Kayne of Many Colors says that he's thinking of all the people who are androgynous like Adam Lambert, Lady Gaga and David Bowie. I mean, eye make-up doesn't necessarily make someone androgynous, does it? I thought androgyny was more that the gender in the look was sort of melted away and there seemed like no sex was there, not like eyeliner with a tool belt or something. Also, are you just including Lady Gaga because she dressed up like a dude that time? That's not androgyny, for sure. That's drag. He decides to make a fitted houndstooth jacket that is sexy. OK, it doesn't sound so horrible, but the sketch he shows looks like a harlequin, so no to that. Laura Kathleen. The voice. I can't. It's the WORST. It's like she's too lazy to take a breath before she starts speaking. Diaphragms: they're not just for elite athletes. Look into its use, please, dear GOD. She says that she's going to make some sort of smoking jacket with really elaborate cut-outs. Casanova whispers to Ivy that he's going to make his look with all leather and there will be cut-outs. Ivy seems really excited and says that she loves it. Emilio says that he's going to make a woman's outfit with traditionally male fabrics, which he thinks will amp up the avant-garde aspect of the look.
At Mood, everyone seems fairly confident about their choices. Kayne of Many Colors purchases some fabric in yum-yum yellow, because he wants something that will pop. It will certainly do that. It will pop. Maybe pop my head off. Uli gets some stuff that resembles armor and she worries that, executed incorrectly, it could be the death of her look. There's a little compromising that happens at the cash register, then they are back to the workroom.
Emilio declares that a good suit can be worn by either a man or a woman. They're all working and Laura Kathleen tells Kayne of Many Colors that she's going to make some wacky pants and she wants to get as much as possible completed before the models come in for a fitting. Then, Georgina comes into the workroom. Guys! She can walk! Everyone is shocked to see her because they know that it can only mean one thing... they're doing something horrible to the designers. Indeed, she tells them that they are adding a twist to the competition and it involves their models. Models, come on down! The models enter and they are men. Don't mind if I do! Laura Kathleen says, "Thank God I left a massive amount of seam allowance," to a dude who doesn't know what the hell she's talking about except for maybe a vague sense that she's calling him fat. He vows to snowboard off that sushi he ate. Emilio says that he feels screwed right now. Georgina tells them all to calm down. They still have their other models. They'll need to make a new look that complements the first group, for the boys. They'll have an extra day to work and they'll get another shopping trip the day. Right now, they have an opportunity to get measurements on their new models. They start and Kayne of Many Colors asks his model if he likes girls or boys. He says that he likes girls and Kayne says that's great because he has five sisters and two of them are single. He doesn't seem really on board with that arrangement and I don't blame him. Ivy is taking an inseam measurement and her guy says that now they're best friends. None of my friends know my inseam measurement. I'm hanging out with the wrong people. Emilio realizes that he doesn't really need to tweak his design to make it androgynous for the guy. Similarly, Anthony Ryan is just going to make another dress for his guy, which will serve the avant-garde needs of the challenge. Althea also likes the way her guy looks in her current design. I do think that maybe her model is the cutest of the bunch. That was something that I had to do. Hold the phone -- Kayne of Many Colors' model is the cutest. He looks kind of ridiculous wearing Kayne's houndstooth jacket, but he's real pretty.
| Season AS2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.29.2012
Josh runs an idea past Anthony Ryan -- what about a skirt with assless chaps underneath? Anthony Ryan just laughs and says no. Some of these ideas are verging on costume. Does Anthony Ryan think that's too costume-y? No, he just thinks that idea is vulgar. Their models are behind them and laughing. Uli is feeling a lot of pressure. She says that her model is very excited. Her? Not so much.
Later, it's time for fitting the girl models. Althea describes androgyny as sexless, which is more in line with the way I think of it. Right now, everyone's designs are looking a little schizophrenic. Emilio notes that he doesn't feel like people have embraced the androgyny aspect of the challenge. He's seeing a lot of avant-garde women's wear, but that's it.
Kayne of Many Colors is making a tank top from that metallic mesh yum-yum yellow fabric. He thinks it's avant-garde. He also thinks that it will take his look to a modern and retro place. Hmm. I guess it has to be modern in order for it to be retro, because not referencing the present would simply make it period, but.... I think it's odd that he says that it will be modern and retro at the same time and have decided that perhaps Kayne of Many Colors does not know of what he speaks. The editors have decided that this is the perfect time to show Anthony Ryan's interview where he says that avant-garde does not mean tacky. This is not a circus challenge.
They finish for the day and head back to the hotel. They start the day at Mood. Emilio is in trouble because he got the last of the fabric for his look when he was shopping the day before. Back at the workroom, they find male mannequins waiting for them. We don't see if Kayne of Many Colors asks which team his mannequin plays for. Anthony Ryan has Joshua try on his dress. Anthony Ryan says that Joshua likes the look, which is good because Joshua is androgynous in his own look. This, again, is where I think that they've got the idea of androgyny all wrong. I'm not trying to making any slur against Joshua's masculinity, but him just being a man doesn't make his look androgynous. Most of the aspects of his look are feminine. He's a dude with a feminine aesthetic. There's nothing in the middle or particularly "mixed" about it.
Casanova seems like he's a little torn over whether he's doing the right thing with his design or not. He is really trying to be unique, because the avant-garde aspect of the challenge is the judges' attempt to extract something amazing from their all-stars. He's not sure if he's hitting the mark or not. Laura Kathleen tells Josh that, if she were ever dressing a man, it would be classic Italian suits in gray. She adds, "which is clearly not too androgynous" and walks off laughing. There's this thing that some people do. Say, for maybes, that you're in a competition. It's pretty stressful and you've got a ton of things running through your head about how you would love to win, and what are you gonna do, and man you're stressed out and all of that. There are people in your life that are great for sharing those feelings -- your mom, for instance. If you're lucky, your mom is super invested in everything that you do and thinks that you're her little star and will totally indulge you going on and on about how you're really the only person in the world. She's used to that. She was changing your Pampers when you truly, without being a sociopath, thought that you and your mom were the only people in the world. There has to come a point though when you accept the fact that other people are not going to be as utterly fascinated with every nook and cranny of your psyche as you -- and maybe your mom -- are. In fact, I bet your mom is just acting a lot of the time. She doesn't care all that much, but she loves you a lot. The thing is, to stand in a room where obviously everyone is having the same anxieties and hopes and butterflies and talk like you're just the most special girl, I think it's gross. It may appear that I'm being too hard on Laura Kathleen right now. I'm not. I got this. She interviews that she can't push herself to do anything that she doesn't feel, but she wants to win this challenge. See? This is a perfect time to talk about yourself like this. That cameraman wants to hear everything that you have to say. Spill it.
| Season AS2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.29.2012
Joanna comes in for the consultation. She reminds everyone that the judges were not terribly pleased with their performance as a group in the challenge. She starts with Uli and intuits that this must not be her favorite challenge. She really likes that militaristic trim that Uli was worried about earlier, though Althea interviews that she doesn't use trim herself very often and prefers to rely on good tailoring. Speaking of tailoring, Uli talks about the pants for her male model and says that there wasn't much "ball room" in them. Joanna takes a moment, and then drily ask for confirmation that Uli did in fact say the phrase "ball room." She did. Joanna says that she has never heard that term before but that she quite likes it.
Anthony Ryan shows the yellow fabric that he is planning on using for his woman, to the black striped men's dress thing. Joanna warns him against making something that will look like a wasp. What's funny is they showed Anthony Ryan talking about how Kayne of Many Colors's stuff was tacky right after he started making his yellow tank top. Now, he has yellow fabric that is not that different from what Kayne was using.
Josh describes making a yolk of fur and trimming it to make it look like a pony. I love that I just got to type that sentence. Joanna responds, "Oof. That is avant-garde." Joanna moves to Ivy and stares at the leather panty on her male mannequin. "Ivy. I need some explanation." Ivy giggles and says that something will be worn over the panty, which is a huge relief to Joanna. She can't tell which of Emilio's outfits is for the man or woman, which they all decide is a good thing.
Casanova's looks are reading very gladiator. Joanna warns Laura Kathleen that the details on her jacket (i.e. the lapels) need to be perfect, otherwise Georgina will eat her. Kayne of Many Colors presents his look along with the leather flowers that he's adding. Joanna thinks that it could be hideous or a showstopper, which is what she said during the last challenge. Laura Kathleen thinks that it looks like a clown outfit. To be fair, he has made a smiley face on the front of his tank. Why would he do that?
Joanna reminds the designers that this is an avant-garde challenge and they should all be pushing themselves. Then, she's out of there. Kayne of Many Colors chooses to push himself at least in the direction of good taste and he removes the smile from the tank top. Casanova manages to bang out some pants really quickly and Emilio is jealous, though he does point out that the ball room is limited. The girls come in for fittings and that's where Casanova runs into a problem. His girl pants don't fit. He's freaking out and Ivy helps him. She interviews that he's her friend before he's anything else, which I think is pretty cool of her. Then, the boys come in for their fittings. Kayne of Many Colors makes his poor boy put on high heels. Maybe that's what his sisters like. Josh, of all people, has to tell Kayne that he has gone too far. As they are all scrambling to finish, Uli wonders if maybe she needs the pressure of a deadline to make her think of the really cool stuff.
| Season AS2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.29.2012
The day, some of them still have a ton of work to do and only two hours to complete it. Josh says that he is going to have to be like Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker. Well, he obviously knows nothing about that play because Annie Sullivan was the person performing the miracles. That said, judging from the outfit he's wearing, he did exhibit some Helen Keller-like characteristics both when he purchased these clothes and when he chose them to wear this morning. Laura Kathleen sees Ivy helping Casanova and believes that, as all-stars, they should only be doing their own work. Anthony Ryan says that they are attached at the hip and the umbilical cord needs to be snipped. Along with mixing metaphors, Anthony Ryan really spends a lot of time adding height to that middle part of his hair. He also always looks and sounds as if he's suffering from hay fever. Mostly though, I don't think it's a big deal that Ivy is helping Casanova. If anything, it's distracting her from her own work, which should make everyone seem less threatened. It's disingenuous though for people to act as though the mere realization that there can only be one winner means that a friend would shut another friend down if they needed help. You wait until the finale or nearby for that shit.
Here come the models. Althea definitely has the cutest model. It's hair and make-up time. Laura Kathleen tells make-up daddy Scott Patric that she wants her models to look wrecked. Kayne of Many Colors continues his torture of his poor model and suggests that white paper eyebrows be added to guy. Ivy goes for a kabuki-style make-up story. Kayne thinks he's going to be fine because he thinks Ivy, Laura Kathleen and Althea all have shitty looks. Emilio thinks that the craftsmanship in Casanova's look is incredible, but there's no androgyny there. Joshua thinks that he's going to win this shiz.
On the runway, Carolyn greets everyone wearing a really pretty green dress. She introduces Georgina and Isaac, as well as guest judges Jason Wu and Robert Rodriguez. The show begins with Joshua's looks. For his girl, he has created some white shorts that hit right above the knee, as well as a tuxedo shirt with fur sleeves. I mean, it's completely hideous. I don't know what good this outfit serves the world. He thinks that it's "pure innovation." His dude is wearing white pants and a shear top, with a long shear coat over that. It's much more acceptable.
Uli's stuff is and it looks great, really rock and roll, with super structured shoulders and no hips. It's really cool. we see Althea's looks. They are both really structured jackets that have a lot of volume at the neck, creating a kind of alien cowl thing. I have to say, I feel like she has been pretty successful conveying androgyny. This looks really cool to me. The wine color is maybe not so realistic for a man to wear, but I trust the silhouette a lot. Plus, her boy model is wearing lipstick, which makes him even cuter. Hey fellas, let's make that a thing and start wearing lipstick in the New Year. Sound good? You go first.
| Season AS2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.29.2012
Now we're seeing Laura Kathleen's stuff. Her girl is wearing black slacks with cut-outs all along the outside of the pants. This is matched with a blazer in silver and black. The jacket is not fitted very well at all. The dude is wearing silver pants and a sleeveless jacket thing with cut-outs on the torso. It looks like a cheap Skinemax movie costume. Laura Kathleen thinks it looks well-made. Emilio's look is and it's really cool. Both are like suits from the 30's, with lots of tailoring and skin showing. The lapels sort of turn into fins as you look at the outfits. He did a spectacular job.
Kayne of Many Colors is and oh boy. For his lady, he made a houndstooth jacket with this harlequin collar. It's enormous. A yellow halter top is beneath it. He made these shiny leggings for the girl. Honestly, everything looks pretty well-made. It's just ugly as sin. His guy is wearing a similar coat, but the lapel is flat. He's also wearing shorts and a scarf tied around his neck. You know, I have to say that this is certainly audacious, but it is so bad. Kayne of Many Colors thinks that it is Triple A: Androgynous, avant-garde and awesome.
Casanova's kids come out and I think this is a misstep. He managed this sort of ancient warrior thing in gold, but there's nothing androgynous about it. He knows this too. Ivy's stuff is . It's very sheathed and genie-like, which I guess could read as androgynous. I don't think you'd really ever catch a guy wearing this outfit though. Anthony Ryan's looks are . He did a nice job. He has versions of shear tunics that have stripes over the areas of interest.
Afterwards, Carolyn calls Althea, Ivy and Joshua. They are all safe and are free to go backstage. So, guys, this is the best. They're sitting backstage and Josh says to Ivy that, yes, he is happy to be safe. But and I QUOTE he is, "truly a design force to be reckoned with." Oh happy day. I'm so glad that I was here for that. He's ridiculous. Ivy says that she's not sure they should really drag their egos into it at this time. That's decent advice and she didn't seem to say it with any malice. Well, ole' tin ear McKinley hears what he wants to hear. He gets upset and doesn't understand why she would "bring" ego into the conversation, says the guy who just declared himself a design force to be reckoned with. He says that, if you wanna talk egotistical, um, she has made the same jacket for five challenges. How is that about her being egotistical? It just sounds like he leapt at an opportunity to tell her that she's repeating herself. What a little prick. Ivy says that the judges are happy with what she's making so she's cool with everything. She's doing a very good (read: probably infuriating) job of staying super calm. Josh says that the judges will catch on soon enough. Althea is sort of giggling at this display in the corner and says that she thinks that Josh is just projecting his frustration onto Ivy. Josh is still going. He says that she doesn't have any respect for other peoples' opinions? Seriously, he is the worst at making a rational argument. He just attacks. The juxtaposition of his behavior to Ivy's calm (opponents were usually in tears at this point) shows you just how incoherent he is. Ivy repeats that she just doesn't think that their egos should be involved. He says you have to have ego and reminds her that she's in a competition. She says that she's just interested in showing her best work. Damn. I believe her. He tells that he thinks she should have already left the competition. Rude.
| Season AS2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.29.2012
Onstage, the models return for one designer at a time. They start with Uli. She says that her androgyny is tribal inspired. Isaac loves the apocalyptic feel. Robert liked the pants on the boy a lot. Carolyn says that the stuff feels interchangeable and she would like to wear the boy's top. Georgina adds one complaint: she wasn't a fan of the legging that the lady was wearing. Laura Kathleen's people come out and Isaac says that her textiles look cheap. Jason thinks she needed to edit. Carolyn didn't like the gold buttons or the cut-outs. Emilio's models come out and the judges love them. Robert didn't know which was a man and which was a woman. Jason says that this is what androgyny looks like to him. Carolyn has the major hots for the male model. Isaac wonders if the look relies too much on the hats that they were wearing. As the models are leaving, Carolyn says that she needs a moment to cool off. Heh. It's nice to know that super gorgeous girls still get the vapors over pretty people. Here are Kayne of Many Colors's victims, I mean, models. Isaac thinks that the yellow is inexpensive. Georgina thinks that he needed to edit. Casanova presents his models as warriors. Georgina likes it, but she doesn't think its androgynous. Anthony Ryan says that he originally considered an evening look. The judges like what he did. Jason says that it's expensive. Robert could see people on the street wearing these.
The judges confer. They like Emilio, Uli and Anthony Ryan. They really appreciate Anthony Ryan's taste, Uli's nuance and Emilio's tailoring. They thought that Laura Kathleen's looks were cheap-looking. Carolyn says that Kayne of Many Colors effed it up. Isaac thinks that it was atrocious. They think that Casanova misinterpreted the challenge. He knows that too, though.
The designers return to the stage. Anthony Ryan is safe. Emilio is the winner! Uli is in. Casanova is safe. Carolyn tells Kayne that he needs to edit and Laura Kathleen to play to her strengths. Laura Kathleen... is in. Kayne of Many Colors, you leave us again. Carolyn wishes him the best and he thanks them for the inspiration. Backstage, he gets choked up telling the designers that he is proud to have been there with them. He interviews that he loves everything that he has made and will take that memory with him. Goodbye, Kayne of Many Colors!
Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com and followed on Twitter at @jblong.
| Season AS2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 11.29.2012
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