Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 43 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Won't Stop, Can't Stop
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 16 | Aired on 01.21.2014
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Coming off last week's rare cliffhanger -- in which A thanked the Liars for giving him Alison's decoded diary, and warned of dangers yet to come -- the girls head back to the Busy Bee B&B, still trusting in the clearly haunted GPS, and find evidence of a mighty struggle and possible abduction. Afterwards, nobody can decide if Ali was even there or whether the whole thing was staged, but it doesn't matter: According to Shana, Alison is safe and ready to speak to Emily... And only Emily.
Shana's explanation for herself, which bears out in what happens, is that she grew up next door to Grandma D in Georgia, and has known Ali since she was three. She came to Rosewood to investigate Alison's stalking, assembling the B-Team (including her relationship with Jenna) to keep Alison's list of suspects close. When Spencer asks if it's possible that Shana would go to these lengths for Alison, Emily reminds her who Alison is, which is definitely a person who could brainwash somebody like that no problem. Like on any given Saturday morning she could easily fit that in, between psychic phone calls and flying lessons and blinding a couple perverts.
Spencer is no fan of this entire scenario, since Emily just got sent to Kissin' Rock last week for no clear reason, but Emily makes it clear -- after Shana provides details of her last meeting with Alison that nobody else would know -- that she's going through with it. After a tearful reunion, Alison's spooked by the suspicious and lurking Spencer, and runs away. It is at this point that Emily loses her shit and nearly murders Spencer for screwing everything up, which Spencer says is the key: Alison knew Emily was getting over her broken heart, and wants to play Emily off the other Liars so she will stay on lock.
But Spencer is not done fucking everything up (while also being right) by a long shot: Next up is poor old Toby, who -- thanks to the vagaries of telecommunication and Spencer's very busy fucking-things-up schedule -- signs off on a settlement with Radley that includes a gag order... Right before Spencer notices that Jessica DiLaurentis is on the Board of Trustees at the facility, which calls into question not only the "accident" itself but also Peter's big explanation that he and Jessica's secrets revolve around Jason going to "rehab." Right before Spencer loses her own mind, she grosses Toby out with her morbid interest in who the second mental patient was at Marion's fall, and he runs away crying.
Hanna continues acting scary post-Caleb, mouthing off at her mom and refusing to discuss last week's (night's) disclosure about the breakup. When Travis the Cowboy arrives, she challenges him to a game of pool (there is a pool table in the middle of her living room this week, also she is getting rid of all her clothes except for a hilarious t-shirt that simply says "CREEPING") and later, lays one on him. Both Travis and the interloping Ashley think rebounding is a bad idea, which just sends Hanna off on some more rants. Eventually Ashley wisely takes her to a place ("Cracked Up!") where you smash dishes for fun, which gets her out of her funk. She even leaves Caleb a very cool, and sweet closure voicemail, which -- heartbreaking as it was -- can only presage more Travis to come, at least in the short term.
But what of Aria? Oh, it's great this week. She breaks up with Jake the second he gets back into town, then learns he sent her a hideous necklace -- her favorite kind! -- while he was gone. She goes to return it (and hopefully make Jake cry), only to get hit with a face-full of denial when Jake tells her about a curious sight he saw: Ezra Fitz, pretending he's in Philly for the day, screaming at a blonde lady (whom I didn't recognize) outside the Grille like he was going to straight murder her. While Aria gets defensive at the time, later on in Ezra's apartment she comes on real strong, pressing Ezra until he blatantly lies to her about this being a legal dispute over Malcolm's visitation.
Then, just as suddenly as it arrived, Aria's brain deserts her once again. They hug, and feed each other warm gooey brownies like the huge fucking dorks they are... While Jake, over at the dojo, impales his foot on about one hundred knives Ezra has concealed in his heavy bag. Blood, screaming, statutory brownies, giggles, snuggles, knives: It's easily the most beautiful Aria thing that has ever happened.
Well, maybe besides that pottery class that time. I did love that. So then what then? Whatever Team Shana's really on, she has Alison to vouch for her now -- which should go well for her, considering the A-Tag is A setting a picture of Baby Shana on fire in the high school in the middle of the night. (Pulled from a copy of The Tempest, cutely enough, considering the actress's connection to that play.) Otherwise, what a satisfying night. Emily and Alison continue tearing up the screen with their oh-so-relatable and horrific relationship, Aria and Ezra have somehow become my favorite couple of all time, even Hanna's getting her groove back. Here's hoping whatever mental rockslide Spencer's gearing up for is relatively quick and painless for her.
Next Week: Hanna's taken up crime novels, which helps her Jewel Of The Nile herself into figuring out who's actually in homegirl's grave. Mona gets yelled at by Aria, which is fine because her alliance with Ezra is apparently going forward. Mikey's back and making new (karate?) friends, while Spencer gets back to work on the Diary to figure out Boardshorts's identity. Emily gets locked in a random place, looks like, and it seems also that A starts sending the Liars messages from inside Hanna's literal mouth.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!PREVIOUSLY
Caleb's gone to Ravenswood, Aria will flip Jake for Ezra heartily any day of the week, Spencer's determined to take Radley -- and possibly her father -- down, and A has Ali's Diary... and now, possibly, Alison herself. Why is she back and why can't she figure out who A is after all this time? Perhaps she should ask her vast array of parrot, psychic and Halloween Store informants... Or maybe she is just dicking with the Liars like she did back when she was alive, and then dead, and then alive again which is now.
EN ROUTE TO THE BB B&B
Aria: "Grab your butts and get in the car. We're following that faulty GPS that always tries to kill us to that B&B we told A about and now A is telling us about."
Liars: "But in the time it takes us to respond to that text from A, won't A have killed her?"
Aria: "Then why would A send us a text about it? That would be so creepy of A to do!"
Inside the room to which they've been led, the Liars find evidence of a brutal scene! Windows ajar and rattling, a door swinging on a hinge. Alison-type clothing tossed about with abandon. Messages scrawled creepily on doors, answering questions before they are asked.
Liars: "Maybe she fought A off and this was another fruitless journey."
A: "Or maybe you are too late! Hahaha!"
Liars: "I don't even get what's happening right now."
CHURCH
Emily: "Me? I'm just dropping off baked goods for a bake sale. You know how Pam is, always sending me to dark abandoned holy places."
Hanna: "I just wish I knew what the point of all that was."
Emily: "I'm more creeped out at this point by simple things. Like for some reason just thinking about Alison being in that motel room, not dead, and then possibly getting murdered. Or not being there at all, and it's just ghosts."
Hanna: "You think it was a setup."
Emily: "It definitely had A's flair for the dramatic. Hang on, I am being menaced by shadows. I'll call you back."
TOBY
Spencer: "Dad? How did you know I ran away to this studio apartment?"
Peter: "I didn't. I wasn't looking for you, come on. Who are you, Melissa? No, I'm looking for Toby in between changing my mind back and forth about Radley Sanitarium a million times. But instead, you can come home right the hell now."