Previously: The girls discovered a tube of lipstick in the closet. Hanna spotted Jenna in the elevator with the same shade of lipstick. Holly Marie Mom finally found out about Chad Dad's cheating ways. Hanna met Jenna's shrink. Spencer showed off her mean serve to Chin Dimple the Second. Sean seemingly flirted with a different blonde. Hanna got an IM with pictures of Emily and Maya kissing. Toby and Emily started sharing mixtapes and making Flubber. Mr. Fitz's wise friend Artie told him that he was going to prison for hooking up with Aria, then Fitz found text messages from "A" and kicked Aria to the curb.
Aria is sleeping on what looks like a leather pillow case, and she's flashing back to making out with Fitz. Her headphones are removed from her ears by Spencer, and the girls are all in her room staging an intervention. At least they brought takeout. They want her to get out of her disgusting sweats and to try on homecoming dresses. She doesn't want to go to the dance, and they don't think that's a good idea. They think she's all upset about her parents, and Emily tries to Little Mary Sunshine it and say that it will blow over. Hanna reminds them that it wasn't a missed occasion, Chad Dad slept with one of his students. This actually seems to resonate with Aria. Can't imagine why. She says that things can change... with time. Aria says maybe, and Spencer takes this to mean she's coming to the dance. She says she'll think about it, but Hanna wants to make sure that she at least casts an absentee ballot for homecoming queen. Every vote counts. Spencer tells Hanna she's got it in the bag, and Hanna hopes this means she can rig the election. But the workaholic will be busy running the committee and in charge of snacks and still look cute for her first date with Alex. The girls are all excited for her, even Aria, who suddenly thinks she might come to check out the boy. Aria looks really odd, but after staring at her for like twenty minutes, I realize that it is because she's not wearing her normal eight pounds of eyeliner. No wonder these recaps always take me longer than I plan. Spencer tells them he's not going to know anyone there, and hopes that her friends will be nice to him.
Emily says she's going solo, and Aria says she will too. Spencer jokes that they should go together and would make a cute couple. Include obligatory Samantha Ronson joke here. Hanna sees Emily's face, and says that she should bring someone she has fun with. Emily mysteriously says she wants to bring someone, but is worried people will read too much into it. Spencer wants to know if she and Ben got back together. Why is everyone all so gung-ho to get her back together with the rapist all the time? Hanna helpfully changes the subject to food, though she jumps right into the fortune cookies. She stares at it, then reads it to her friends. "Lions and tigers and bitches, oh my. There's no place like homecoming. See you there. -- A" Spencer grabs another fortune, and they realize that all the cookies have the same fortune. How'd he/she get them in the cookies? I'm totally impressed. Nice work, "A".
Sean is in a classroom, saying that his parents are out of town and he's ready to do it. Blonde cheerleader says she's not ready. She made a commitment that she wants to honor. Hanna watches on clearly bored by this role-playing scenario. Hanna gets plucked as the role-player, and she tries to say no, but the advisor casts her as the instigator. Some boy named Lucas is chosen to be her partner and he's not interested in participating in this "sex-ercise." Only slightly less annoying than sexpionage. Advisor doesn't care and forces them together. Hanna's not exactly convincing as she is totally monotone while "inviting" him up to her room. Lucas says he can't do it, because it's not believable that someone hot like Hanna would ever approach a guy like him unless she had low self-esteem (she does!) and a drinking issue (who knows, she may!). Advisor says it is acting and to deal, but he says he's never going to have to deal with turning down a hot combo of Barbie and Shakira. Dude, you just made her day. He continues to tell his teacher that he's got "the upper body strength of Screech" and that he spends his weekends playing Wii... alone. He's not exactly worried about having the opportunity to lose his virginity. The teacher makes them start again, when Hanna asks if he'd like to come to her room, he quickly responds with an enthusiastic "yes!" This guy? He's my new favorite.
Aria follows/stalks Mr. Fitz in the hallway. He won't talk to her because he has a staff meeting. She doesn't appreciate the brush off. Emily's in the cafeteria grabbing a water and wearing a cute striped-sporty top, when Maya walks up behind her. They awkwardly stare at each other, and Maya says she hasn't seen her in a while... even though they live across the street from each other. Emily blames it on being busy with the memorial, but she asks if Maya's going to homecoming. She's not planning on it, because dance music isn't her thing. They agree to catch up some time.
Hanna's eating lunch and putting on makeup (not necessarily simultaneously) and Spencer runs up to ask her if she can steal Jenna's file that day. Hanna cancelled her shift at work, so Spencer tells her to fake a nervous breakdown. She insists that the file is the only way they'll ever know what Jenna and her creepy brother know about that night. Hanna says if she loses the homecoming queen title, she really will have a breakdown and can get it then. Hanna also doesn't understand the rush, and Spencer says it's because Toby bought two tickets to the dance. They think this means that Jenna will be coming, and since "A" threatened to see them there, they think this is bad news. Their plot to steal confidential files is thwarted by Mona (Mona! I've sorta missed her not at all). She wants to know if Spencer's really taking a towel boy to the dance. Hanna tells her former sidekick to knock it off. Mona calls Alex a "Cinderfella", and Hanna dispatches Mona to get fro-yo with sprinkles. And she does. Oh, the power. Spencer worries that other people will judge too. Yes, all those other people who go to this school that happen to hang out at the country club. She doesn't understand why Hanna is friends with Mona at all, and Hanna says she thinks Mona's actually kind of funny and reliable. She says Mona just puts on the tough exterior, so people won't remember her geeky incarnation.
Toby walks in to have lunch, prompting Spencer to hit Hanna. He reaches for his phone in his pocket and lifts his shirt so we can see a tattoo on his hip (what is he, a girl?) that says "901. Free at last." He then walks off towards the lockers to see Emily. He wanted to talk to her about hanging out the day. She says she's going with her friends to homecoming, but see, this is just his clever way of inviting her to the dance with him. She didn't think that was his scene, and he thinks she's trying to blow him off, but mostly she really just thought that a guy like him (who apparently likes to listen to The Smiths alone in his bedroom when he's not reading classic American literature at The Grill) would think that an event so based on school spirit and popularity was lame. He does, but he knows she's into that sort of thing, so he's going to suck it up. She agrees to go. He says he'll pick her up at 9, but she tells him the dance starts at the early hour of 8. He says even that's lame.
Chin Dimple the Second shows up to see Spencer painting away at set pieces (?) for homecoming. He wants to know what color suit he should buy so he doesn't clash with her. She offers to match something he already owns, but that's not really an option. See, because he's poor. And poor people can't afford luxuries like suits. She wonders if he really wants to spend the money. He says he does. He also tries to give her cash for the tickets, but she says it's her treat. She knows how hard he works and doesn't want him to waste his money on a stupid dance. He grabs her, tells her he wants to, and
shoves the ticket money in her back pocket. She lets him know she'll be sporting a silver strapless dress, and he takes off excited to see her in it. She looks pretty well smitten too. Guessing she forgot all about Wren?
Hanna spots Maya with a guitar (or that sort of shaped instrument) strapped to her back and says she didn't know that Maya was in band. She is. But jazz... not the marching kind. Then Maya informs Hanna that she has her vote. Even though she's not going? Does she have to do absentee too? Hanna tells Maya she'll see her at the homecoming dance and when Maya says she's not going, Hanna tells her that Emily wanted her to come.
In the atrium, Jenna sits on a stone bench. Toby walks over, and Jenna wants to know why he was talking to Emily. She tells him that he's being stupid and when she finds out the truth about him, she'll go running. He wants to know who would tell Emily. No answer. Jenna just sticks out her hand to grab on to her brother's shoulder so she can walk away from school.
At the medical office building, Jenna's in her scrubs (with little kittens on them) and goes over to the shrink's room where some painters are yelling at one another. I thought she had the day off? Did she change her mind? Is this a different day? Ugh, this show and its ambiguous timelines really drives me berserk sometimes. While the painter is turned away, she presses the door lock, so it would stay unlocked.
She waited, but had to leave, so she tells Aria that she rigged the door, so they'll be all set to go in later that weekend. Hanna is raiding Aria's jewelry box trying to find the right earrings to wear to the dance, and complaining that they are all too hippy, but Aria's not really interested in playing dress up. She's sitting in tan knee socks and a tank top sulking in a chair. Hanna says that when her parent's were fighting, she hid in her room and listened to Jay-Z. She says that she needs to get out of the house, and some boy named Chris has a huge crush on Aria, so that should be incentive enough to put on some clean clothing. She says she thought Chris was bringing a girl named Lisa, but Hanna heard through the grapevine (in this case Sean) that he'd rather date Aria. Poor Lisa. Seriously. That sucks for her. But Aria's not into Chris, and when Hanna asks who her friend is into, Aria demurs. Hanna says she knew that Aria was seeing someone, and presumes that it is someone she met in Iceland. Hanna insists that Iceland is a long way to go for a booty call, so she should consider someone closer to home. She starts ransacking Aria's closet for a homecoming dance appropriate dress. She gives Aria two options and they are both horrid.
At the Carnivale themed dance, there are games of chance and a live band. Aria is wearing neither of the disgusting dresses that Hanna picked out. Instead she's wearing what looks like armor on top and a balloony poof on the bottom. It has lace and beads and fringe. All the things. She sees her friends and they tell her she looks awesome. She claims to be ready to have a great time, and Mona thinks that will be hard without a date. Then Hanna offers to share Sean and Spencer offers to share Alex, but only after Aria has served her time at the bean bag toss.
Spencer is wearing the silver-strapless number and has her hair done in this updo at her neck that makes her look about 15 years older than she really is. Hanna looks much more age appropriate with her slightly voluminous pulled back hair, her low-cut emerald green dress that has feathers all over the bottom, and all the jewelry she could find from her friends. It should be noted that Alex looks awfully adorable in his spanking new suit. Spencer spots Melissa, and makes her way over to talk to her. She was asked to present the crown, as a former homecoming queen. You'd think Spencer would know about this since she's on the homecoming planning committee, but apparently the original choice is ill. Before Spencer can get away, pretty little bitch girl tells her that she happened to read her winning Golden Orchid entry online and was surprised to see it was hers. Spencer says that she told her parents and they don't want the embarrassment of a retraction. She tries to apologize, but Melissa won't hear it. It should be noted that Melissa's hair is huge. She looks like a bobble head.
Hanna and Mona are being catty about the other girls. Lucas comes over to take pictures of them for yearbook. Mona dismisses him, and Hanna is actually polite to him. By which I mean she treats him like a human being. Mona doesn't understand why Hanna would talk to herme (short for hermaphrodite), but Hanna claims he's a decent enough guy. Mona thinks that talking to him will ruin their social standing. Mona's not going to be dragged down by Hanna. Hanna responds to this by eating a little piece of cake.
Aria finally arrives at the bean bag toss, and who should be the faculty person there but Mr. Fitz. Naturally. Melissa saunters over to Spencer and asks Alex if he's on the homecoming committee, and Spencer has to explain that he goes to a public school across town. Someone comes up with a catering crisis, and Spencer grabs Alex and runs away before Melissa can fuck things up. Aria's head pops up in one of the heart shaped cutouts, and she tries to convince Fitz to believe that she didn't plan this. He doesn't really buy it. She compliments his haircut. Oh, did I mention that Aria's wearing one teeny-tiny little glove? After the customers walk away, she tries again to tell him that she didn't tell anyone, but that "A" is someone who is messing with her. He doesn't understand why, and she starts to tell him, but can't really give him an answer. A teacher comes over to relieve Aria, and she jumps at the chance to leave.
Toby and Emily walk up to the dance. She looks smoking hot wearing an electric blue knee length dress that is simple, with just a little bit of fringe at the bottom and she looks very sexy with her hair down and curly. He offers to take her to a Fritz Lang film fest instead, but she claims she's overdressed. He reveals that he's never been to a school dance before, and is nervous about meeting her friends who already seem predisposed to hate him. Aria walks back to Hanna and Spencer, and says she got claustrophobic and hopes they can find someone to replace her. Spence says that every freshman girl will jump at the chance to spend time alone with Fitz. Maya pops up excited to see Hanna, and she's looking for Emily. But Aria gets a panicked look on her face when she sees that Emily just walked in with Toby.
When the couple walks over, the girls aren't exactly welcoming to her. They all think she's sleeping with the enemy, and that he has to be the one helping Jenna. She insists that they don't know him. Emily is especially annoyed with Hanna, who gets in some vindictive cracks, and says she was the one who told her to follow her feelings in the first place. Hanna thought that was because she thought she was taking Maya... Emily doesn't understand why Hanna would think that.
There's a car that can be won, and Alex is staring at it. Melissa asks if he bought a raffle ticket and wonders where Spencer is. She tells him he's being used to piss off Spencer's father. The girls all wonder when Toby and Emily started hanging out, but their dates all come over to whisk them away to dance before they can truly suss out this great mystery. Aria ends up dancing with some unfamiliar guy, who may or may not be the aforementioned Chris.
Maya is dancing with another unfamiliar guy while the band plays some sensitive music, and we see all of the different couples enjoying their slow dance. Spencer in particular looks happy to be with Alex, until she gets some sort of spark of inspiration and grabs the girls. She says she's figured out that Toby's tattoo means September 1st. The day that Ali disappeared. They say that Emily won't believe them without the file and they send the soon-to-be crowned homecoming queen to go across town in her dress to get Jenna's information from the office. Hanna begs Aria t
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o keep Sean occupied in the meantime.
Alex tries to get Spencer to go to the fortune teller, but she says that it's not really her scene. Then changes her mind. Aria does a shitty job of lying to Sean but distracts him with food. Hanna requests a cab, and Lucas overhears her. He wants to know why the homecoming queen would leave and compares it to Han Solo leaving the Millennium Falcon. This goes over Hanna's really large hair. He's leaving because he got his yearbook pictures, and she wants to know if he just came for the sole purpose of picture taking. He says he came for that and to vote for her. Aw. Sweet. She says she left the check for the band where she works and begs a ride from him. He says this is a better option than Hoarders. I'm not so sure about that.
Spencer's fortune reveals that she's anxiety ridden. Spencer can't stop watching Emily, but her ears perk up when the fortune teller says that Spencer will be taking care of someone who has been hurt. Sean gripes about being ditched, and Aria makes him "bump and grind" with her. Nope, didn't need that image. Maya, who is rockin' a Bump-It, sees Emily and glares. She leaves Toby alone for a second and he sees that Jenna is there just sitting on a bench. Emily wants to know what Maya told Hanna, and Maya says Hanna approached her. Maya says she should go back to her date since she's clearly moved on. Emily just wants more time, and Maya says she's giving her space to come to grips with who she is, not to hide it. She wants her to look her in the eye and tell her that she doesn't have feelings for her. Em can't do it.
Fitz sees Aria bumping and grinding -- which just amounts to hopping around -- and looks at her wistfully. The fortune teller continues to predict Spencer's future, and when she flips another card, "Say bye-bye to your BFF" is scrawled on it.
Aria follows Fitz down a hallway and says that she doesn't want him to hate her. He doesn't, he just thinks that he asked too much of her so he hates himself. He wants her to be able to dance with guys her age and not be forced to sit in his apartment and eat one of the three things he can cook (is takeout not at option?) and watch videos (does he also not have a DVD player?) with him. He'd be depriving her of all the things that she should have, movies and nice dinners. He couldn't possibly hate her and he got this new spiffy haircut just for her. He leaves her speechless in the hallway.
Lucas follows Hanna up 14 flights of stairs (because the elevators were locked... but the building was open). When they arrive at the office, she makes him stand in the hallway while she goes in. She has a little flashlight and rifles through the files. Back at the dance, Emily wanders to the cafeteria and Toby follows her. He wants to know if she's OK, but they are distracted by some revelers making out. He takes her up to the chemistry lab. Alex wants to know why Spencer is so distracted. She gets the phone and he says that maybe his work for the night is done. She's confused, but has to take a call from Hanna who can't find the file under Jenna's last name. Spencer offers Toby's last name because they are step-siblings, but Hanna's phone is dying so they get cut off. When Spencer turns around, Alex is gone, but Melissa is in his place. She says he left, and offers to tweet it to her so she'll understand. Bitch.
Toby wants to know if Em wants to talk about Maya. He asks if she came with the wrong person to homecoming. He says he understands, but she doesn't know why he is so nice to her when he knows what she and her friends did. Oh, that. He says they've all got secrets and he has things he's not proud of as well. Then he closes the door.
At the homecoming dance, Melissa reminds the attendees to buy raffle tickets for a car, which gets a nice product placement, and Hanna walks in with the file and Lucas. She tosses his jacket at him and gives him a big hug, and he looks stunned. Aria and Spencer run over to her, as Melissa announces that Sean and Hanna are homecoming king and queen. But Hanna walks off leaving Sean to get crowned alone. She tells the girls about Toby's file and says that Jenna was just there for the one session so the therapist could ascertain how she felt about Toby returning home. The dates prove that he wasn't away at school when Ali disappeared.
We flashback to the night of "The Jenna Thing" and now we hear what Ali and Toby were talking about. She claims he's been peeping in her window for years, and he insists they haven't, and then she says she peeped in his and says if he tells anyone the truth she'll reveal that he has a Cruel Intentions style relationship with his step-sister. They think it is enough to want Ali dead. That, and because she was a heinous blackmailing bitch. They immediately worry about Emily, and Toby tells her not to answer the phone since he wants to tell her about last summer. He wants her to hear it from him. The girls frantically text, and when they leave to find her, we see that Jenna is sitting there amidst all the mirrors. The text says that she's with Ali's killer, and when she tries to get away from him, she pushes him into some chemicals. When she does, she sees his tattoo. This causes her to run away, through the hall of mirrors, screaming, and then trips and falls. We see the town marker sign that proclaims, "You are now leaving the Town of Rosewood. Population: 7988" And a shadowy gloved figure spray paints out the final eight and takes some white paint and puts a seven in its place. Now that's what I call a cliffhanger. Totally makes up for last week's lackluster ending. And this was definitely my favorite episode to date.
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See how this show compares to Gossip Girl, and if you're not afraid of spoilers, read our list of the best moments of PLL's first season!
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