Fag

I did not want to write this recap. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to compare it to the difficulty that Sep had writing about the death of Joyce Summers. It's not that I don't have the cynicism handy to snipe MBTV-style at this episode despite it's "heavy" subject matter -- it's just hard to express my contempt for these clichd plotlines without worrying that I could cross a line and offend someone who actually related to this episode in a big way.

So let me explain where I'm coming from. This episode was a huge step backward for Popular. Despite my near-complete disgust with the show this season, I will usually concede that Popular is usually a great showcase for gay themes. Even when Popular is bad, there's still a gay moment or two there that even Will & Grace doesn't have the guts to pull off. The fact that these kids' chemistry teacher is of ambiguous gender and no one seems to notice or care too much is the very thing that warmed me to this show. While other, lesser shows would give a hermaphrodite (or whatever Chem "is") "very special episode" status, Popular has permanently woven Chem into the fabric of the plotline, and doesn't even make him/her a particularly likeable character either. That takes moxie. One of the greatest conceits of last season occurred during a "very special episode" in which another teacher prepared for a sex change, and his most outspoken critic was none other than Chem her/himself.

With shows available to us these days such as Popular, Will & Grace, and Queer As Folk, it's not hard to forget how much of a vast wasteland TV used to be in terms of gay subject matter. Back in the eighties, there were no characters on TV who "happened to be" gay, just gay characters -- usually played by a guest star in a "very special episode." As soon as said gay guest star died of AIDS, got beaten to death by gay bashers, or killed him- or herself after a single episode, you could almost hear the producers and writers sighing, "Oh, thank God, we don't have to write anymore dialogue for that character. She was tedious!" There were no cool gay people on TV. None of them had sex lives, dressed well, had snazzy lines, or handled their gay-related setbacks with any dignity or panache. Instead, they got down on their hands and knees and begged the other straight regular characters for tolerance, and then thanked them at the episode's end for finally coming around.

So it's the year 2001, the golden age of gay television, and what does Popular give us this week? An un-charismatic gay guest star who gets victimized by homophobes -- and all so a straight regular cast member can come to his rescue. With all the gay writers and producers that this show employs, you'd think one of them could have delved inside themselves and created a fully nuanced gay character and a non-clichd context in which to place him. Didn't Lily say a couple of weeks ago in regards to Josh's mullet that "the eighties retro thing is over"? I guess not.

Later after class has ended, Lily lags behind and tells Chem that she's "cultivating an environment of hate" by allowing Josh and Sugar to do their gay routine. Um, Lily? If you have a problem with Josh and Sugar, remember that they are friends of yours. In other words, you might want to talk to them yourself and not go through an intermediary who happens to be in a maniacal state of right-wing rage all the time. And hello? Since when is Kennedy High located in Buzzard County? According to Harrison in "Hope in a Jar," there were plenty of out gay men at Kennedy, so what's with Lily's "no one's gonna help the homos 'cept me" attitude? So then Lily quotes this statistic about how 97 percent of all teens hear homophobic slurs like the word "faggot," and very often teachers do nothing about this. Chem is all, "It's just a word!" but Lily argues that Chem would never allow "the N word" to be used in her classroom, and Chem agrees. So then Lily asks why "faggot" couldn't be just as much of a slur as "the N-word." I think that's a good question, because I always thought it was really stupid to assign such power to a word, even "the N word." I mean, didn't we all learn from the first OJ trial that our reverence for the destructive power of uttering "the N word" had gotten out of control? Don't get me wrong -- there are ways to use the N word, and the F word, that are indescribably hurtful. However, "faggot" and "nigger" are just words, and the more we suppose that these words have the power to hurt the pride of anyone black or gay in any context becomes, at some point, rather insulting to blacks and gays. I mean, I'm half Irish, and sometimes someone will call me a "mick." Does this "slur" get my blood pumping with rage or have me withdraw in self-loathing? Of course not. Why? Because I've never felt that there was anything wrong with being Irish. Maybe it's because it's been so long since I've felt there was anything shameful about being gay that the word "faggot" doesn't have me convulsing and clutching my Prada bowling bag to my face in fear. That's why I've never had a problem with any of Eminem's recordings, which I listen to because they're brilliant. I mean, if someone in reality kills a gay man for kicks, they deserve to be punished to the full extent of the law. But if Eminem, a victim of bullying himself, wants to use the word "fag," why should I be upset? Gay men are always making highly offensive statements in the interest of irony -- myself included. What right do we have to judge some five-foot-four piece of white trash for doing the same thing -- and quite eloquently, might I add?

Kennedy hallway. Lily goes up to The One Who Will Be Called A Gay Slur and apologizes on behalf of whatever for having to hear gay slurs. The One Who Will Be Called A Gay Slur is obviously not comfortable outing himself to a complete stranger. Gee, how unliberated of him. He's all "and I would care because?" Way to go, Lily. But instead of backing off and politely changing the subject -- I mean, God forbid Lily should actually talk to this guy and get to know what he's like above and beyond being gay -- Lily tells him about a "Gay and Lesbian Student Support club" that she's starting up. So then TOWWBCAGS is all, "I'm not gay!" So Lily's all, "Well, if you are, there's place for you where you'll get the support you need." At this point, I hit the stop button in the VCR, go upstairs, get the vodka out of the freezer that I reserve for occasions like this, and put on Guns 'n' Roses' first album while I chug it. I leave a couple of inches in the bottle in case Matthew Shepard's name is invoked later and pray that, by the time I come down and press play, Lily will leave this poor guy alone! Does she? Of course not. Instead, she proceeds to give the whole "last year I was experimenting but now I'm happy with Josh" expository play-by-play and invites TOWWBCAGS to the meeting again. TOWWBCAGS tells Lily to stay far away from him and stomps to his class. Well they, may not have given this schlub any character traits besides his gayness, but at least they gave him a good set of instincts. Lily stares off into space, obviously trying to come up with a way to force TOWWBCAGS out of the closet so he can be the object of some gay bashing and he'll have to join her club.

Random classroom. Brooke is paged over the loudspeaker to come to the principal's office. It turns out to be that guy she met at the frat party who took her scarf. He snuck into Calvin Krupps's office during his 10:30 jog and summoned her on the loudspeaker. Brooke is totally charmed, especially when he gives back her scarf. He wants them to skip school; Brooke begs off but gives him her number. Okay. Nothing political about this scene, unless you count a potential stalking. Let's move things along, then.

Cafeteria. One big table full of Blondes and Browns, except Mary Cherry and Nicole. Lily does an expository rant at Carmen on how Calvin Krupps won't let her form a club unless she can get a faculty sponsor. Josh wants to know why she's forming a gay club and starts getting scared that she's going back to the other team. Lily assures him that she's not gay; she just wants to support gay people. "Support"? Is that what they call bulldozing gay teenagers out of the closet before they feel ready? This calms Josh down. Carmen -- who keeps a Naya bottle at her lips for this entire scene unless she has dialogue -- brings up how dangerous it could be, and cites real-life situations in other parts of the state where gay high-school groups met and were terrorized. Carmen looks really good, by the way. Josh wonders if there's any other way that Lily could show support for gay people besides a starting a club. Lily is all, "Are you both looking for an excuse to not join?" in a tone that faintly calls to mind Carmela Soprano terrorizing that woman into writing Meadow a college recommendation by showing up at her office with a ricotta pie. Carmen and Josh give each other this covert "busted!" look, which I have to admit was a sweet moment between Sara Rue and Bryce Johnson. "Great!" says Lily before they can protest. "Because I've been thinking and Carmen, I'm going to nominate you for Vice President." Carmen does a really cute Naya spit take as Harrison sits down at the table. As soon as his butt hits the bench, Lily nominates him for secretary, which he is forced to accept because his mom is gay. Josh explains about his misgivings about having to join a gay support group and risk being mistaken for gay. "I'm no hater," he says. "But it's complicated." Not to mention, Lily, that you're not gay yourself and you don't have any gay friends. Who do you think you are, forcing your straight friends into donating their precious time to a club that's all about you and your cause of the week? No one is even asking for your "support."