MBTV: Who would play you in the movie about your life?
Leslie Grossman: I wish it could have been Patty Duke thirty years ago, but that's not going to happen. I always wanted to be portrayed by Neely O'Hara but she never existed. Oh God, who would play me? Probably someone like Tina Yothers with my luck. In my dreams who would play me?
Yeah.
Oh God, someone glamorous like Lisa Kudrow. Someone I'm obsessed with. I love her. I love her. I love her. If there's one person who's career I'd love to emulate, it would be hers. Shirley MacLaine, isn't she brilliant? I love the ladies.
You've already gone there, but what can we expect from Mary Cherry season?
Mary Cherry and Nicole form a very unholy alliance. We become very much like Frick and Frack -- much more than ever. Much more mischief. A lot more attempts to keep our power intact. It's really funny. These scripts we're doing are so tight and so well written. There are going to be some dramatic developments too -- that don't involve me, of course. It's all really really good. I'm really proud of the stuff that we're doing.
Someone on the boards said they'd heard a rumor that you would have a brother.
What? No. That's not going to happen.
What about Adam?
I don't know. He's off in Croatia doing a mini-series for twenty weeks so he won't be around for a while, but his name is still bandied about this season. He'll be back.
What about Poppy?
I don't know. It's really crazy. I don't know what the fate of Poppy is going to be.
She disappeared toward the end of last season.
She did a pilot last year. She's a working actress. She has other things to do. I think she'll be back, though. Can I be honest? I don't know. I don't ask people about their work situation. I think it's rude. And I have no idea what goes on between her and the producers.
So then it's not true that Ryan is in love with Christopher Gorham and he fired Anel because she's his fiancée.
[laughs] No, I don't think that's what happened. That is a glamorous answer but it's not true.
What about Godfrey?
Bob? I love him! I really hope he's going to be back. He hasn't been on the first two episodes but I really hope he comes back. We love him. He's such a funny guy.
I love how Popular is like a repertory company. We just keep using the same people over and over again.
Godfrey seems strangely sexy to me. How do you feel about that?
Well, I don't have any commentary on your personal fetishes. [laughs] No, there is something attractive about him. I loved when I did my driving test with him. We just laughed the whole time.
What about the Tuna twins? Or should I say "Tuna Twin"?
Oh, definitely April Tuna is back and in full effect this season. Her clothes are genius -- totally glam. She and Carmen do some stuff together. I can't say anything more because I'll give too much away. Adria is so talented. She's so funny. She's the only person who, when we do read-throughs -- when she reads we are all on the floor. She's brilliant.
And she's nothing like her character. She's really sweet and funny and has a cute boyfriend. They will never let go of April Tuna.
You alluded to someone who died who might be coming back to life. May Tuna?
I don't know. Hasn't been written yet. Who knows?
But it's not Sam's father or Marley Jacobs. Those are the only other dead people on the show that I can think of.
Sam's father? Oh God, no. That's just weird. That's like Jack McKay.
So did you watch ?
Are you kidding me? Of course I watched . What do you think? I went to college and there was this show that was about my high school. You think I'm not going to watch this?
So you went to Beverly High?
No, I went to...a private liberal-arts high school. Gary Coleman went there and so did Sean Astin, Jake Busey, Jake Evans, and Natasha Wagner. It was a very Hollywood high school. I knew tons of people who went to Beverly so it was definitely a show I could directly relate to.
But I loved that show. That show was great fun to watch. But I watched it religiously when Brenda lost her virginity. We all used to get together in college and watch it. But I haven't watched it for years now.
Ever met Tori?
Never met Tori.
And you do realize that if you say anything snarky about her in an interview you'll never work again.
Oh, I know. No, but I love Tori. I think she's brilliant. I do have to say, I think she makes great choices. Like, I love her for doing Trick. That was great for her.
Who is the father of Carmen's child?
Oh, as if I'm going to get into that with you! Like I'm going to reveal our biggest cliffhanger. Are you crazy?
In the season finale, Bio is going to make the kids stay back a year. Are the kids actually going to become juniors, or are they actually going to stay back?
I don't want to reveal anything.
Because I think it would be brilliant if they found a way to keep everyone a sophomore for as long as the show ran.
That's why I love the show. Anything can happen.
What about Sam and Brooke's parents -- are they going to be phased out? We hate them.
Why do you hate them? I love Lisa Darr and Scott Bryce. They're so nice! No, they will not be phased out. We like them.
Bio Glass?
Oh, she's back in full effect. And she's playing more characters. She'll continue to do a lot of cross-gender roles.
Awesome. Are there any new characters? Stunt casting?
Emory Dick's twin sister will come on and wreak a little havoc with me and Nicole. The thirteen-year-old girl who's doing it is fantastic. She's really funny.
Okay. Now for some Teen Beat questions. Who were your idols growing up?
I loved Gilda Radner. Loved her, loved her, loved her. I was obsessed with her as a kid. I love Lily Tomlin and Carol Burnett. It was always about women for me. I was always drawn towards comedic funny strong ladies, but I also loved Mel Brooks and David Letterman. I was always very "schtick-y." Oh, and I WORSHIPPED Joan Rivers! God, did I worship her. As a little girl -- I mean, my God, I would see her around Los Angeles and just get speechless. I loved her so much and, like, I sort of have a creepy Catskills edge to me. I just love that schmaltzy, Jewish, old-school humor. You know what I mean? A ballsy, down-to-earth gal. I've always been attracted to women like that -- smart, funny women.
I was a weird kid. As a kid, I was obsessed with Sue Mengers.
No way -- I only just started being obsessed with her a few months ago!
Oh, she is brilliant! A friend just made me a bookmark of Sue Mengers! I'm not kidding. I was twelve years old when I became obsessed with Sue Mengers. I was a weird little girl. I lived in LA and she was a huge power figure then. My friends' parents worked with her and stuff. She was the female Mike Ovitz -- the first woman who was really, really powerful in big money Hollywood.
And she had a mouth.
And she had a mouth. And she was fat and she was Jewish and I worshipped her. I always thought there was something intriguing about her. Did you read that Vanity Fair article?
Oh yeah!
Wasn't that brilliant how she got married and they brought out the cake and put it in front of Barbra [Streisand]?
And when she was on that airplane that was being hijacked and the hijacker was demanding that Lindsay Wagner, Charlton Heston and Jack Lemmon read something of hers on television and she was like, "I can get you bigger stars than that! I've got Ali MacGraw!"
Wasn't that genius? She was the height of glamour.
I had these really conservative parents, but all my friends' parents had these fabulous parents and lived these fabulous lives so I was obsessed with glamorous Hollywood and gay culture.
How many times did you read Valley of the Dolls when you were a kid?
Oh, don't even get me started! I don't even know how many times I've seen the movie.
Did you read the book or see the movie first?
I saw the movie first -- as a kid.
As a kid???
I grew up in a really weird environment. I got to take film classes in junior high. So I was seeing Pink Flamingos -- John Waters was a huge influence on me.
They did not show you Pink Flamingos in your junior high school film class!
In high school they did. We had a brilliant teacher.
It sounds so stupid to say this now because I was such a pretentious little girl, but I never liked anything mainstream. I only liked things that were off-center.
What was your high-school experience like? Where were you in the food chain?
I was always popular in high school, I think because I had a mouth and I was able to put two words together. But you know what was funny? I was really unattractive in high school. I was overweight and I had bad skin. And I was a brunette. That was before I let my natural blonde hair grow out. [laughs]
Thank God!
Thank God. But I was always popular despite what I looked like. Do you know what I'm saying? I got my friends laid but I never had boyfriends.
I really relied on my gay friends in high school because that was my way to have a glamorous edge to my sixteen-year-old life. I was always popular but never "hot." Never had dates. Nothing like that. But I loved high school. I was sad to graduate. I had a great time.
What was Sarah Lawrence like?
Sarah Lawrence was great because if you took every high school across the country and shook them so all the freaks came out, they'd all fall into Sarah Lawrence. There were a lot of drag queens. A lot of transsexuals. It was a very open environment. We were PC before PC was PC. I really enjoyed that environment and I thrived on it. My freshman year was a little tough because I didn't know what to make of everything, but by the time I was a sophomore -- when I became sophomore class president, thank you! -- I loved it. It was twenty percent male and out of that it was like eighteen percent gay. I was totally in my element. I loved the lesbians. I loved the gays. I had a great time.
Mr. Bennett? I love the gays!
That's me. But I still didn't have a love life.
What do you watch on TV?
The Real World, of course! I've watched every episode from day one. You don't even know! I'm especially attached -- and I know this is going to be controversial -- to the San Francisco cast. I loved Pedro and I thought that was so important. I just got so emotional! Hated Puck.
My really good friend writes all the books, so she goes and meets everybody and she tells me all the dish before it comes out. I have good dish about New Orleans but I can't tell you. And I get to watch all the unedited audition tapes.
Did you watch the London season?
Yeah. That was the worst cast of all.
I have to recap it for MBTV over the summer.
Oh God, you must be bored! They were all retarded. But I loved making fun of Jacinda. That was fun. But otherwise, who cares? I mean, Mike the race-car driver? Whatever! Although I did enjoy it when Neil got his tongue bit off.
I don't get to watch a lot of TV because I'm so busy. But I've watched All My Children every day since sixth grade. That's my old standby.
Oh, and of course I have to watch The View if I'm home. And I love Ricki and Jenny Jones!
I love Friends. I know it sounds lame but I love that show. And I love Lisa Kudrow. I don't like Ally McBeal.
What magazines do you read?
Everything. I'm a magazine hooker. For my bachelorette party, my friends went out and bought me Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, every candy that I love, and every SINGLE magazine because they know that's what I love more than anything in the whole world. Vogue, Vanity Fair, Elle, Newsweek, Time, Celebrity Hairstyles, Dog Fancy -- I will read anything. I'm queer like that.
What skin-care products do you use?
I've been using the Epicurean line. I'm very happy with that. Sometimes I use a little Decleor moisturizer. I'm pretty low maintenance, though. Sometimes I'll use a little Lever 2000 to wash my face. But I swear by my Sonicare! It's genius. You've got to get a Sonicare if you don't have one. It's like you've never brushed your teeth before. You are going to feel as though you were living a dental nightmare until you got your Sonicare. It's like going to the dentist twice a day.
Who is your favorite member of 'NSync? Justin, Lance, JC, Joey, or Pineapple Head?
Okay, I'm twenty-eight. See, hon? I don't have a favorite member. Sorry.
I know who they are. I went to the Teen Choice Awards and I was like, "Okay, there's 'NSync." I'm going to say something rude. All of these boy bands -- individually -- are actively ugly! Like, they're actively bad looking. I guess that as a unit -- to these little girls -- they become a big blur of hormones, but I don't understand. I don't think any of them are good-looking. I'm sorry. I just don't.
I've got a thing for Joey Fatone, I have to admit.
The one that dyes his hair all the time?
Yeah.
What is the matter with you? Literally, what is the matter with you? Are you a chubby chaser?
You know what's genius? There's someone from 98 Degrees who looks like your accountant's assistant. Do you know who I'm talking about? He was at the Teen Choice Awards and I was like, "What are you doing?"
The thing is, they're all incredibly average. Unbelievably average! That's what I find so fascinating about teen trends and these boy bands. They're just nothing. The Making the Band boys? They're just nothing.
I'm old school. Give me Johnny Depp or Paul Newman from The Hustler. I don't understand what these girls find attractive. These are like Jersey guys.
Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears?
Christina! Are you crazy? I feel strongly about this. I love her!
I love her because she's like, "I'm a skank and I'm going to work it!" I love her "gangsta-style" and I actually think she's a good vocalist. She blows Britney away.
Have you seen the concert footage that Britney did? She makes Shirley Temple faces! It's like she was nine when Madonna's Blonde Ambition tour came out and she grew up thinking, "I'm going to have a show just like that." But it's a sixteen-year-old girl's version of Blonde Ambition.
Christina is going to have a long career.
Pamie, one of our recappers, said on her site Squishy that she preferred Christina because she looks like she'd give you a blow-job if you bought her a Caesar Salad.
Maybe with chicken. I love her! I bought her album proudly! Every time she's on TV, I'm like, "Everyone needs to shut the hell up!"
What is the deal with you and Jennifer Lopez? First you were both up for Selena, and everyone knew you had it, but it went to Jennifer. Then she beat you out for the part of the child psychologist in The Cell.
I know! I'm like, "Can she steal anymore of my career?"
And then there's that whole thing with Puffy. Is there a feud?
There's a bit of a feud. Before I got married -- this is not a big secret -- Puffy was the father of my child. We were involved for many years off and on. He was a Sarah Lawrence student.
That's right! He was the only straight black guy there!
Precisely. It was tough when this whole thing with Jenny happened but I feel like, "I pity you, go and take my career. You need it more than I do."
But seriously, I am a little obsessed with her. She's a sassy bitch! She's like, "Look! This is the way it is!" It's genius. I can't really relate to that complete obsession with fame but God, does she look beautiful on the new W.
They say that you're the only person in Hollywood who knows the real story behind Angelina Jolie and her brother.
Yeah. I was dating both of them.
Wait. Can I tell you a great story about her? Seriously? When I was a kid, my father went to Russia with Jane Fonda in the eighties because he was a big Jewish activist. So he had this whole friendship with her and she was great to me. Her family has a ranch somewhere out in Southern California. I don't remember where, I was so young. So we were all invited out there one weekend.
Angelina Jolie's dad, Jon Voight, was there and Angelina was there. And I will never forget that she was wearing a red Michael Jackson jacket. Do you remember the "Thriller" video? I will never forget that.
That's worse than the brother/sister incest rumors. Are you sure you want to be on the record with this? You could be snuffed out!
She was hardly famous. This was a hundred years ago. And she was wearing this Michael Jackson red leather jacket. I remember pitying her and being like, "Oh, that is so sad!" and wondering if Jon Voight's daughter was retarded.
But now look at her! She's so glamorous and she's an Oscar winner. And she really is a great actress. I could never do the stuff she does.
But I will never forget that jacket as long as I live. Never.
Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Gwyneth Paltrow: What do you think is going on there?
Um. Boring. Who cares?
I mean, Matt Damon: I don't get it. I just don't get it. I'm sorry. I think Beck is more attractive than Matt Damon. It's that frat guy sensibility that I've never been attracted to.
I've met her a couple of times. She's very nice. She's very beautiful.
She could have anyone she wants. She's truly unbelievable in person. She's so lithe and tall and thin. I have no idea. Personally I don't find either of those boys attractive. I think she's ten times better looking than either one of them put together.
Did you ask her if she watches Popular?
Oh God, no. I didn't even want her to know that that was the show I was on.
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