By Pamie
Previously on Popstars: They show the exact same beginning with the nervous girls and the bad singing and the people we don't know talking about their dreams and hopes. We even get Bea saying, "Superstah!" again. We see the Mariah girl in purple screw up her song again. Shaunda sings the shit out of "I Will Always Love You" again. Even a quick Tiffinee Renae. "All my life" girl chants through her tears again. Scary Snake Mom is appalled again. We see a quick flash through several girls auditioning again for Day Two. Then the group dance callback flashes by. Alexis talks about her damn dreams while covered in snot and tears. Zoom to the L.A. workshop, where we see more shots of dancing and singing. Roger Love makes some nasal noises. David Foster looks on judgingly. Alexandria gets in another crying headshake, and with that final clip again, my love affair with her is officially over. Thanks, editors. Quick shots of everyone crying as the narrator calls the workshop "a nerve-wracking nightmare." Shaunda cries to Ivette. They flash by the six that were cut at the end of "Phase One." The Corrs start caterwauling again. Luckily I've recapped all of this, so I don't have to recap it again, right? Right? I don't have to be as repetitive as this show. I don't. I don't have to repeat everything. Everything. Everything. Sorry. I just wanted you to have a visual representation of this damn show. They show the five that were cut. So many tears. Cheaza moans to the group of girls that she's never going to succeed in anything. We see a quick cut of the Viper Room and then the five girls that were cut. The Casio keyboard kicks into overdrive as the narrator gets his "serious with tension" voice on and tells us that just ten girls are left tonight.
Nicole Scherzinger. We see a split screen of her singing at the Viper Room as she tells us: "When the lights and stuff are on me, I'm in a whole 'nother world." I love how we've turned "another" into a word that can be broken into two just by adding the word "whole."
Shaunda Johnston. Same split screen. "If you don't have your dreams, you don't have anything." Put that on a bumper sticker, people.
Jean Pearlman: "I don't think I'm going to make it because people don't seem to remember me from each episode." I'm kidding. "I am still not down from that high. I had an incredible time and I feel, I feel amazing when I'm singing." Oh, notice the use of past tense, there.