In the wake of Christian's departure, Louie and Kendra are bitter -- Louie over the loss of his "brother," and Kendra because it's going to be that much harder to pull up the anchor. But several crew members agree that Joe Don needs to go. Except of course Cheryl, who's sitting in the Captain's Quarters enabling the dude so she can continue to rake in her 25% of each week's take. Will that bite her in the ass? Or should I say, will it bite her in the Joe Don?
After the credits, Jay has recovered well from Joe Don's outing of him, establishing that the crew doesn't realize the extent to which Jay is backing the Captain. "Event Coordinator" Jupiter gets a miniature hero sequence in which she gets "credit" for everyone's eye makeup. Now I feel bad for Nessa the makeup artist, because I blamed that on her last week. In addition to having to look at Jupiter's amateur messes on everyone's mug, she had me trying to pin it on her. Sorry about that.
As the Picton Castle sets sail, Jupiter rhapsodizes about being on the ship, and "Glass Blower" Laurel tells us how much better it is than living in a van like she has been for the past year and a half. But Alexis thinks it's harrrd, dude.
The ship drops anchor to the north of the island, and Cameron calls the remaining fourteen pirates to the quarterdeck to open the compartment on the chest of Zanzibar. It's getting easier for him to say that with a straight face. Apparently, this week's treasure was hidden by Henry Steel's quartermaster, whose big thing was writing codes in blood. The teams are divided by the same method as last week, where Joe Don and his officers lead the Black crew. Louie's way too happy about being on the Red crew against Joe Don, promising to "write a letter to his mama in his blood." So the Black crew has Joe Don, Cheryl, Ben, Sean, Joy, Alexis, and Laurel, while the Red crew is everyone else. Oh, all right: it's Kendra, Jupiter, Christa, Nessa, Azmyth, Louie, and Jay. I confess, I don't spend enough non-Thursday time thinking about these people to keep most of them straight myself, so I can hardly expect you to. The Red crew is happy to have Azmyth, no one more so than Azmyth: "Obviously, the team I'm on is gonna win," Azmyth interviews. But Joe Don is already counting his money as the longboats head to shore.
Cameron narrates the upcoming trail the pirates will have to follow, which includes a sabotage point marked by a sword and skull. This particular sabotage point appears to be a long, flimsy lean-to tent of bamboo poles that will drop down across the trail with the cut of a rope. We'll see how that works.
The Red crew is technically the first to shore, but the last to beach their boat. Or at least they would be, if Alexis hadn't slowed down Black by getting out of their boat for a little stroll in the water for some reason. One wonders if she isn't trying to throw the challenge just to get Joe Don out of his gold bed in his gold room with his gold hat and his gold coat and all the other gold stuff that Alexis may be feeling bitter about at any particular moment. Red presses its lead, with Azmyth on point while reading the map, and Joe Don has to stay behind Alexis and practically push her up the trail for Black. Red reaches the sabotage point just ahead of most (but not all) of the Black crew, and Joe Don forces Alexis into the sabotage just as Azmyth cuts the rope, bringing it down on top of them. Except that after the commercials we find out that Sean (Black) was more or less holding it up, so everyone gets through. So the lesson there is that it's hard to sabotage the trail behind you when the other team is pretty much even with you.
stage is to cross a "raging river" and find a "headless skeleton" above a "blood rock," which is a rock with symbols drawn on it in red paint. The treasure's under a waterfall further along. Red gets across the river first, with Black close behind. Kendra and Christa break the "code" that tells them a key is hidden in a skull underwater. And Louie is the one who actually finds the skull. Jay cracks it open, displaying just a bit too much enjoyment of (not to say experience with) the idea of bashing a skull apart on a rock. With that, Red is in their way to the waterfall. And Black is still searching for the second skull when Red finds the treasure, fires a pistol in the air signaling the race is over, and celebrates raucously. "Captain Joe Don is dead!" Louie hollers.
Back on the boat, Joe Don is at least smart enough to realize he's a target. Cameron sends him and his officers back down to clear out of the Captain's Quarters and start mingling with the crew. It's that last bit that's especially onerous to Cheryl, as she specifically tells us in an interview. The Red crew hauls their treasure on board, and counts it up as Jay expresses relief at his first win. I would go back and see if he's the only person still on the ship who's never been part of a winning crew, but I don't feel like it. While they're still tallying the take, Joe Don has to come up and hand over the hat and coats of office to the Red crew, which Louie gloaterviews over loudly. The total this week? $35,000, the smallest jackpot yet. Not that anyone complains.
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Time to elect a Captain, and they unanimously select Azmyth. Azmyth's officers will be Jupiter and Jay. Azmyth takes his $17,500, the officers each get $8,800, and now it's up to Azmyth to pick three pirates to get Spotted.
Azmyth, Jay, and Jupiter retire to the Captain's Quarters, and suddenly Azmyth is talking in a British accent. "Like he took an English pill or something," Jay interviews. Azmyth decides to split it evenly. "But I don't have to get an accent, do I?" Jay asks Azmyth to his face. Azmyth is not amused. As happy as Louie is about getting a bigger share and a nicer Captain, he too is amused by Azmyth's silly attitude: "I think there's some kind of dope in that cap, that goes straight into your brain as soon as you put it on your head." And there goes the joke I had planned for this paragraph.
In Captain's Conference, Azmyth starts talking about "floaters" and segues from there into flushing the toilet, which is so not period. Their first pick is a no-brainer: Alexis. Jay suggests Laurel, who hasn't really distinguished herself (which means she's this week's placeholder nominee). When Azmyth inevitably names Joe Don, Jay comes to his former Captain's defense. Because even if Joe Don isn't Captain any more, he's still got over forty large that he's demonstrated a willingness to share with Jay. Jay's pick for number three is the best thing: Joe Don's former officer, Cheryl.
Unlike Joe Don, Azmyth joins his officers on deck for the handing out of the Pirates Court summonses, but he's still doing his goofy accent as he has Jupiter hand out the letters. And here's who's Spotted: Alexis ("My personality can be hard for people to swallow, and that's their problem, not mine"), Laurel ("I don't even know what my case is"), and not Joe Don. Cheryl, the third Spot-ee, says she's not hurt, nor is she worried. Have you heard? She's a District Attorney in real life!
Jay can't vote, being an officer, so instead he works the crew. Half of them seem only too happy to agree to vote out Cheryl as a substitute for taking out Joe Don himself. Joe Don, meanwhile, is lobbying to cut Alexis adrift instead. Sean doesn't want to vote for Cheryl, but Jay's $1,000 bribe to Sean may change his mind. "He's golden or he's out in the cold," Jay tells Louie, who cackles in anticipation. Not that Louie doesn't cackle over just about everything. Jay figures he has four of the eight votes he needs to get rid of Cheryl. I wonder if that would still be true if they knew that Joe Don's bribe to Jay is the reason Cheryl's on the block instead of Joe Don.
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That night, Pirates Court convenes. Cameron starts by letting Azmyth give a little speech, and Cameron totally breaks character when he asks, "Have you got an accent now?" It's kind of awesome. Azmyth claims that the crew's digging it, and Louie cackles in either mirth or derision. I can't tell all of his cackles apart yet. Moving on, Cameron asks Azmyth why he marked who he did. Azmyth says that Alexis has a negative attitude, and he wants things to be positive among his crew. Positive and British. How Cameron keeps from getting self-conscious about his own Aussie accent after that, I don't know. Azmyth says that Laurel just needs a fire lit under her. Azmyth oddly drops his accent as he explains that Cheryl hasn't acted like part of the crew very much. Cameron gives the floor to Jay, who accuses Cheryl of having set herself apart and looked down on the rest of the crew, which is why he nominated her in the first place. I'd say Jay is tipping his hand there, but nobody seems to realize they should be looking at his cards.
Alexis's big argument is that she is who she is, so take it or leave it. Laurel says she wants to stay, and would "pretty much do anything for you guys." Cheryl leaves her spot and sits down to defend herself, saying that she followed the Captain's orders. She calls herself a "midrunner" because she wants to make sure everyone makes it, and she calls out individuals whom she's encouraged on expeditions. Joe Don defends Cheryl by saying it's his fault for not letting his officers interact with the rest of the crew. He adds that Alexis isn't going to change, and Alexis calls him out on his own lack of interaction when he was Captain. It's not nearly as ugly as it sounds. Cameron gives Azmyth a chance to defend himself from mutiny -- as though he needs to -- and it doesn't really matter what Azmyth says, because he's dropped the silly accent, which was what put him in more danger than anything, if you ask me.
Cameron calls the eight jury members up to vote, and they all do so silently, without comment, in front of everyone, like always. Jay looks worried that his voting bloc might not hold together. And with three women up for elimination, the one going home is -- not Azmyth. "Thank you, crew," he says, since there wasn't a single vote for mutiny. Laurel's safe, to nobody's surprise. So it's down to Alexis and Cheryl, who find themselves in a 4-4- tie. Jay shakes his head, and Sean stares at the deck. You think he'll give back Jay's $1,000 now? It will surprise nobody that the tiebreaking vote goes to the Captain. Azmyth thinks about it for a nice long while and decides to get rid of Alexis. He steps down and cuts the raft loose with a minimum of drama, leaving Alexis to coast out into the ocean with nothing but a lantern and her bitchface for company. She interviews that she earned the crew's respect, and "it is what it is. I gotta keep rollin'." Or floating, as the case may be.
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