Previously on Party of Five: Claudia kissed Todd and then ran away. Adam told Julia that she should probably break up Justin and Laura. Julia told Justin she's jealous of him and Laura. Charlie pointed out that Kirsten would have to go off her anti-depressants in order to try to get pregnant, and Kirsten said they are her risks to take. Bailey drank, Bailey drove, Bailey crashed, and Bailey signed up for rehab.
We open in a group therapy setting at the rehab facility, and the counselor asks Bailey if he has anything to discuss with the group today. Bailey demurs, saying that he is "pretty good," and one of the other patients claps sarcastically and says in a gravelly voice, "That's great." The counselor tells the other patient, Oliver, that the room is supposed to be safe and free of judgement. Oliver backs off and the counselor prompts Bailey to pick up where he left off yesterday, discussing his accident. Bailey babbles about how the first time he got sober, the drinking used to sneak up on him, "one beer turns into three and so on," but this time it was "like a decision." He's not afraid that he will start drinking again, even though his reasons for drinking are still there, because it feels like "a switch" he can flip on or off. Throughout this speech, Oliver becomes increasingly agitated and finally wonders aloud why Bailey is even there. The counselor tries to shut him up, but Oliver goes on to say that Bailey had "one slip-up" and now he's "taking up space in rehab." Oliver goes on to point out how much worse the other patients are, including Richard who drank mouthwash when he couldn't get beer and Dale, who parked his car underwater. Richard and Dale look ashamed. The counselor points out that it's not a competition. Bailey wonders sarcastically if he has to have "the D.T.'s" in order to be there. Oliver says Bailey is making him feel "lower than [he] felt already." Bailey says that's not his problem and Oliver says, "That's right, you have no problem." They start shouting at each other and the counselor breaks it up. Oliver tells Bailey that his life is "a beautiful dream" and he should just "go home," because doesn't he want to go home? Bailey just stares at Oliver real hard, and then he says, "Everybody wants to be closer to free."
In the library, Adam walks up to Julia, who is staring intently at her laptop screen. The Salingers are crying poverty, and the restaurant might be going under, yet Julia has a couple thousand to drop on a laptop? Adam asks Julia what she's working on, since she didn't even notice him. Julia tries to close the laptop but Adam grabs it from her. Boundaries, Adam! He looks at the screen and reads e-mail from Justin, where he says he's "eloping with Laura... to Vegas." Adam asks Julia if she is going, and Julia says Justin didn't ask her to come. Adam says, "People don't send announcements when they elope." Julia wonders if he wants her to come be at his wedding, or come stop it. Adam tells her like ten more times that she should go.
Kirsten is talking to a teenaged girl in her office. Kirsten gets up and exits the office to talk to the girl's mother. Mom thinks the girl is getting worse. Kirsten says her "weight and sleep reports are still within the protocol." Mom asks Kirsten if her daughter is in the "placebo group" and wants Kirsten to tell her so she knows "whether to pull her out or not." Kirsten says it's a double-blind study, so even she doesn't know who is getting the active drug and who is getting the placebo. Mom starts crying and telling Kirsten she "doesn't have any idea" what her daughter is going through. Kirsten's beeper goes off and she tells the Mom to wait. As soon as Kirsten gets around the corner, she starts weeping.
Bailey is sitting on a bench at the rehab facility, and there's a big duffel bag to him. The counselor from the group therapy exits his office and Bailey catches up to him to try to ask him a question. The counselor says that Bailey was discharged. Bailey says he wanted to ask the counselor a few questions before he leaves, but the counselor has "six evaluations before group" and no time for Bailey. Way to make it all about the Benjamins, Mr. Counselor. You can't spare five minutes for someone who is clearly upset? He says that Bailey can make an appointment any weekday, but in the meantime he should talk to his family because "they sound very supportive." Bailey starts to respond but the counselor tells him he's doing "extremely well" and pats him on the shoulder then walks away, like could he be more dismissive. Bailey just stares after him.
Claudia and Todd are sitting on a loveseat. Claudia asks a very nervous Todd what he feels like doing. Todd doesn't know, and suggests rehearsing. Claudia drops a major hint by saying, "Or, we could not" and then saying that she'd like it to be "just the two of us, you and me." The clue train speeds right on by Todd and he turns on the television. Claudia looks disappointed and leans back. Oh my God, her rack is enormous! When did that happen? Little Claudia is really all grown-up. Julia walks in wearing oh-so-trendy three-quarter length pants that she bought with all the money the family doesn't have. Julia grabs the mail and exits, and from that action Claudia determines there is something wrong, so she yells "Julia, are you okay?" and follow her out of the room. Todd sighs and looks relieved.
In the kitchen, Claudia asks Julia what she's still doing there, because she thought it was settled that Julia was going to Vegas. Julia's looking through the mail and wondering why she should go. Claudia tells her it will be better once she talks to Justin. Julia wonders what she's supposed to say to him, since she doesn't even know if he wants her there. Claudia says, "Julia, you know. Tell him not to get married." Julia wonders what her argument is, and Claudia reminds her what she was saying before about him getting rushed into this. Julia points out that she told him that the last time she saw him and it didn't help. The only other solution is to tell him he should be with someone else, like her. Claudia says, "Should he?" Julia doesn't know because they haven't been together for four years. Claudia just repeats, "Should he?" Julia realizes she has to go, but her car won't make it and she's too poor to fly. Apparently, she's spent all her money on computers and clothes. Claudia suggests she take Todd's car. The hell? Where did that come from? Oh yeah, it's a convenient writers' construct to get Claudia and Todd together in Vegas. Todd comes in and is all, "What?" and Claudia gives him the hand and says they're having a private conversation. Todd says, "About my car?" Claudia tells him to let Julia borrow it, but Todd is worried about his insurance saying no one can drive it but him. Claudia decides that she and Todd should drive Julia to Vegas because it's "fun and impulsive" and just what they need. Did this seem out of the blue to anyone else? Yeah, me too.
Charlie and Joe are at the restaurant. Charlie is on the phone with someone at the factory, telling her to stall a salesman for him. Joe points out that it's tough to do two jobs, and Charlie says it would be easier if the accountant would get there. Joe says it's like the old days with the two of them running things. Charlie stares at his laptop and says, "Yeah" without any enthusiasm. I would point out the expense of the laptop, but I'm assuming it's a business write-off. The phone rings and Joe answers it. After hanging up, he tells Charlie that the accountant is going to be an hour. Charlie complains that he has "two meetings at the factory" and he's supposed to pick up Owen. Owen? Who's that? Joe asks if he wants to reschedule, but Charlie says he can't because of "the quarterly taxes." Joe tells him to "leave the computer" and let him meet with the accountant because "it's not like [he hasn't] done it a hundred times." Charlie doesn't take Joe up on his offer, and instead calls Victor about Owen. Joe looks disappointed.
Bailey enters the darkened Salinger home. He calls out to see if anyone is there, but no one answers. Then Will comes into the room and is surprised to see Bailey. Bailey asks where everyone is, and Will reports that Julia and Claudia went to Vegas and Owen's with Charlie. Bailey is not the least bit surprised that his sisters went to Vegas. Bailey notes that Will has his jacket on and was about to go out. Will says he's supposed to meet Meredith, and it's too late to cancel, but he can just meet her and send her home. Bailey says it's okay, that he's probably just going to "crash" and Will should go. Will double-checks that it's all right, and then skedaddles. Bailey sits down in a chair and stares at the wall. Maybe if he wanted people to care that he was coming home, he could've called ahead. I'm just sayin'.
Charlie walks into his bedroom where Kirsten is still sleeping. He yells to Owen to get ready for school, then says to his wife, "Hey sleepyhead. Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?" Kirsten says she's not sure she's going in today. Charlie asks if she's feeling all right. Kirsten says she's "really tired." Charlie asks what's going on, like she didn't just tell him. Haven't these people ever heard of taking a mental health day? Everyone calls in sick when they're not really sick. Except if any of my bosses are reading this, in which case I would like to inform them that I have never done such a thing, even that time when I called in sick and then came in to work the day with a sunburn. That was because I went tanning because I thought it would make me feel better, just like I told you at the time, and had nothing to do with the all-day festival going on at my alma mater which was on the news and I was praying to God that I wouldn't be on screen, which I wouldn't be, since I wasn't there anyway, right? Kirsten says that work is hard because some of the kids in the trial are "really depressed" and that it's "hard to watch." Charlie points out that if they're in the study, they're getting therapy. Kirsten says they "need meds" and some of them "aren't getting the active drug" and it might not even be working for the ones that are getting the active drug, and that it never used to get to her, but lately it does. Charlie points out that she went off her anti-depressants. Kirsten says all defensively, "I'm not depressed" but that's she "upset and frustrated." On the one hand, it would be annoying to have someone wonder if you are clinically depressed every time you had a bad day. On the other hand, he could be right. Charlie says okay and then looks away. Kirsten stares at her pillow.
Bailey is in his room, and Will knocks on the door. Will enters and goes into this speech about how he "didn't plan this" and he's not trying to "cheer [Bailey] up" or get him to "come out of [his] room." Bailey's all "What are you talking about?" and then Holly walks into the room. She tells Bailey he looks great. Suddenly they are sitting in the kitchen drinking tea. Holly thanks Bailey for being so forgiving, and says that he obviously needed help that last time they saw one another. Holly laments that she's supposed to be learning how to heal, but Bailey tells her he didn't deserve her sympathy because he had been drinking. Holly says she's been getting updates from Will, and says again that Bailey looks great. Like, just jump him already, Holly! Bailey interrupts her to say that he doesn't want anyone else to tell him he looks great, and that quitting drinking suddenly seems easy in comparison to figuring out his life. Everyone is telling him he looks fine, but inside he's like a sad little clown.
Julia, Claudia and Todd enter the casino/hotel. Julia tells Claudia to keep her eyes peeled because Laura isn't supposed to know they're there, but this is the hotel Justin and Laura are checked into. Todd approaches the front desk and the woman asks him how many rooms. Some scantily clad showgirls walking by distract Todd, and Claudia's all "Earth to Todd!" Todd breaks out of his trance and apologizes, but Claudia isn't buying it. Someone hisses, "Julia!" and it's Justin. He asks what Julia is doing there and she says, "You tell me." Justin can't believe she came. Julia says they have to talk. Justin points out that Laura is nearby, and then says they'll talk later before bolting away.
Kirsten is in her office and her boss comes in and asks if she told that mom from earlier to pull her daughter out of the study. Kirsten says she supported her decision, and the boss is mad she didn't discuss it with him first. Kirsten says she was making the best decision for the girl, not the study. Kirsten gets all fired up and says she made the right decision and he knows it. The boss asks what's wrong with her since they've had patients like this girl before and it didn't bother her so much. Kirsten says Lizzie is different. The boss says Kirsten has been acting different. She fought with the prescribing M.D., she's been calling in sick, and now this. He wants to know what's happening. Kirsten just sits down and starts crying into her hand. I really should keep track of the average crying jags per episode on this show. Some bottled water company should advertise on this show. I can see it now: "Poland Springs, when you need to re-hydrate yourself because you've been crying like a Salinger all day."
Bailey is back at the rehab center for an appointment with the counselor. Oliver comes up and sits down to him, asking what he's doing there. Then Oliver spies a nurse getting a trayful of meds and says, "That's nice." The nurse turns the corner and goes up some stairs. Oliver gets up and walks after the nurse, and then we hear a commotion from the stairway, and the nurse cries, "Orderly! I need help!" Bailey gets up and runs after Oliver, who has snatched the bottle of pills and is snarling at Bailey to stay out of it. Oliver's all "Man, Interrupted" and trying to pry the lid off the bottle with his teeth. Bailey bum rushes him as two orderlies come and pull Oliver away. Oliver calls Bailey a "Boy Scout" as he is being hustled away.
Julia opens her hotel room door to discover Adam there. He walks into the room and tells her that he hasn't been honest with her. He says he can't touch what she and Justin have, because that's a lifetime of knowing each other, and loving each other. Then he launches into a rip-off of the final scene of "When Harry Met Sally." You know, the scene where Harry tells Sally, "I love that after spending a day with you, my coat smells like your perfume" and "I love that little line you get on your forehead when you're looking at me like I'm crazy." Anyway, Adam rips that off and then apologizes for dumping this on Julia now, but he wants her to be free with him, whatever that means. Then there's a knock at the door, and Julia says that it's Claudia. Julia opens the door, but it's Justin! Surprise! Like we didn't all see that one coming a mile away? Justin asks if it's a bad time and Adam says he was just leaving. Justin walks into the room as Adam walks out and Julia stands in the doorway looking back and forth between the two men, like "Oh, how will I decide among the many men who are in love with me, Julia Salinger. I inspire men to poetry and to leaving their girlfriends, and to driving to Vegas just to see my lovely, lovely face. I am Julia Salinger, queen of the world." Well, that's just my interpretation.
Julia asks Justin why she's there. Justin babbles about how he's supposed to know if something that feels right today will feel right for the rest of his life, and how marriage is romantic because it's a leap of faith, and how he wants to get married and take that leap with Laura, but he still loves Julia and he always has, and he wonders if he's supposed to be taking that leap with Julia instead. So, he wrote her to find out how she feels. Julia says, "I don't know," without moving her lips at all. Justin says he knows it's a hard question, but after what she said last time they saw each other, he needs to know how she feels. Julia asks how she's supposed to know. Justin says, "Okay," and leaves.
Charlie comes into the restaurant to look at the receipts. Joe walks in and tells him they're all there and everything balances, and then asks when Bailey's coming back, like why don't you make it a little more obvious that you hate working with Charlie, Joe? Charlie says, "Not soon enough!" like maybe he could also take lessons in subtlety. Joe offers to take over whatever task Charlie is doing but Charlie refuses. Joe wants to know how long this is going to go on. Charlie (probably purposely) misunderstands him and says that Bailey should be back soon. Joe clarifies that he was talking about the non-trusting thing. Joe says he's sold his condo and his car, and everything he has of value, and he's only a little shy of paying back what he borrowed. Charlie holds up one finger and says it wasn't borrowing, it was "something else," like why can't he just say "stealing"? Joe says he made a mistake and that Charlie has made mistakes too, and this would be Charlie's cue to say, "Yeah, like hiring you back!" but I guess they decided to avoid that clich&eamp and instead chose the clich&eamp of Charlie saying, "It's not about me!" Oh my God, another Salinger admitted the possibility that it is not, in fact, all about them. Call the Pope because I think we've got a miracle on our hands. Joe says, "It's about us," and reminds Charlie that they've known each other for twenty years. Charlie says that if a stranger stole from him, he would be mad but it would be over. It hurts more because he thought he knew Joe. Joe wonders if there's any point in him sticking around and Charlie is passive-aggressively silent. Joe says he'll clear out his things.
Bailey is wandering around the grounds of the rehab center, like move on already! He spies Oliver sitting on a bench and stops to make sure they "didn't lobotomize [him]." Oliver laughs and then tells Bailey not to stare at him like that. Bailey starts to go, but Oliver thanks him, but then says it didn't matter because they wouldn't have pumped his stomach anyway. Bailey wonders why he did it then. Oliver says it's funny that Bailey asked that, since he doesn't want to leave this place either. Bailey says he just wants to find out what's wrong with him. Oliver offers to save him money in "therapy bills," and tells Bailey to "pull up a couch." Oliver says he and Bailey are both into "the cavalry rush" and they love "a good crisis" because "it really gets the blood going." Bailey doesn't get it, so Oliver says they've all heard his story about "the orphans pulling together." Bailey says he doesn't get himself into trouble so that people have to rescue him. Oliver says it's two sides of the same coin -- some people get off on getting into trouble and being rescued, and some people get off on doing the rescuing. Maybe I'm just dumb, but I don't really see the problem with wanting to help people, and it seems a little different than creating problems where none exist.
Todd is in his room watching television, flipping through the channels. He lands on a porn channel and starts to change it, but the remote doesn't work. I don't know why he pretends like he doesn't want to watch the porn. I mean, if you were a seventeen-year-old boy, and you found free porn on the television, would you be in any rush to change the station? Plus, he could just get up and change the station. He's only like two feet from the television. Of course, Claudia walks in before he can change the station and he tries to stammer an excuse. Claudia gets all indignant about "the porno" and the "the girls in the lobby" and wonders what she had to do to get him to notice her. Todd is taken aback that she wants him to notice her, since he's been trying so hard not to be a pig, and he thought she didn't want to rush into a relationship because of Derek. Then he does that thing where he talks and talks and won't shut up so Claudia kisses him to shut him up, and then tells him it's okay, and then they make out some more. Finally!
Julia enters a cheesy wedding chapel just as Justin and Laura's ceremony begins. Are there any non-cheesy wedding chapels in Vegas? This one appears to have a Grecian theme, with people wearing togas and grape wreaths and such. The officiant asks if anyone objects, blah blah blah forever hold your peace-cakes. Justin looks around to see if Julia's going to object, like marry Laura because you love her not because you can't have the Object of All Men's Desire (i.e. Julia). Julia ducks behind a Grecian column and observes the wedding continuing. As people pointed out on the forums though, we never heard the "I now pronounce you husband and wife" part, so Justin could've bailed.
Charlie is in Bailey's bedroom going over some restaurant details. Bailey interrupts him to say he doesn't want to hear it right now. Charlie says it might not seem important right now, and Bailey says he's not sure if it was ever important. People think that because he's good at running the restaurant that he must love it. Hello? Am I the only one who remembers Bailey practically begging Charlie to let him run the restaurant? If he hates it so much, why didn't he let them sell the restaurant when they wanted to a few seasons back? Then there's a lot of babble about how Bailey is good at rescuing people, and how he needs other people to have problems in order to feel needed, and how the high point of his life was when Charlie got cancer because he got to take everything over. Charlie butts in with the occasional "Not true" and "Oh, Bailey." Bailey starts crying and says that he is someone who needs people to be dying for him to be happy, and then he starts sobbing. Maybe Kirsten should slip him some of those "meds."
Charlie comes into the apartment to find Kirsten looking upset on the couch. He apologizes for being late due to Bailey's "meltdown." He finally notices how upset Kirsten is and asks what's wrong. Kirsten says that her boss also noticed something was wrong, so she went to the doctor. She starts crying. How many times does Charlie have to walk into a room and see someone start crying before he figures out that he's the common denominator? Kirsten says she's not depressed -- she's pregnant. They hug and cry.
Julia comes to Adam's apartment and says that the thing she likes about the future is that it doesn't have to be planned. You can just sit back and see how many more men fall in love with you. Actually, she says you can sit back and see what happens, but you know what she was thinking. Then she kisses Adam to make sure he's still totally in love with her, but I'm sure week she'll be making out with someone else.
Charlie comes into the Salinger living room where Bailey is watching television. He knows Bailey is feeling a little shaky right now but Owen is outside and Charlie has to go to work. Charlie doesn't say that Bailey should remember how they almost had to go to court to see who would get custody of Owen, but now they can't dump him off on someone else fast enough. Charlie wants Bailey to help Owen with an assignment for his reading tutor. Bailey says he knows what Charlie is doing, trying to fix his problem by keeping him busy. Charlie says he isn't trying to fix anything, and Owen comes in. Bailey and Owen exchange awkward hellos and then Owen shows Bailey a letter he wrote him while he was in rehab. He shows it to Bailey and asks for help, saying that Charlie and Claudia don't help him as well as Bailey does. Bailey starts crying again like cut it with the waterworks already!
Charlie sets the table as Joe walks in and asks why Charlie called him, since Joe was packing to leave. Charlie asks Joe to take over the restaurant since he and Kirsten have so much going on right now. Wouldn't it have been nice to hear Charlie say, "I was wrong? I shouldn't have been so mean to you. Please stay." But instead he has to make a lame excuse. Julia comes in with Chinese food. Owen, Claudia and Will follow, and Owen asks Joe if he's staying for dinner, and Joe says he is. Kirsten enters, and they all sit down. Bailey walks in and asks what's going on. Charlie says it's their new night for dinner. Bailey's all "Since when?" and Julia's all "Since tonight." Will makes a joke about Bailey wanting Italian instead of Chinese and Bailey loosens up and says he's starving and they all dig in.