Previously on Party of Five: Kirsten had good news about her potential pregnancy. Bailey hooked up with a woman, then found out she's married. The writers tried to manufacture sexual tension between Julia and Evan. Claudia got assaulted by a kid named Derrick at a party. Charlie was accused of having an inappropriate relationship with Myra.
Charlie is meeting with the principal of his school about the Myra situation. He is impatient that the process seems to be at a standstill. The principal (Mary Anne) thinks he should be grateful that Sylvia (Myra's mom) hasn't filed charges. Charlie says he shouldn't be grateful for anything, since the whole thing is a lie. Mary Ann tells Charlie that Sylvia will drop the whole thing if Charlie resigns from his teaching position. Charlie keeps saying that he didn't do anything wrong. Charlie, we got that. I don't think that's what the principal is getting at here. The principal pretty much says that she believes him but that it doesn't matter, and explains that she needs to look at what's best for Charlie and for the school, and offers Charlie a severance package. Charlie feels that resigning will be an admission of guilt. Mary Anne says it won't be, because no one will ever know what happened since no charges have been filed. Charlie points out (again!) that nothing happened, and that his innocence should matter for something. Mary Anne says that if the charges go public, parents will believe it. She also points out that everybody wants to be closer to free. Or the Bodeans do, actually.
Julia comes downstairs in what is apparently Evan's house, wearing only a man's shirt and socks. This would not be a big deal, except that there is a guy sitting there who is about Julia's age, wearing an ugly-ass orange shirt, and Julia is startled. She asks who he is and why he's there. He says he lives there. Julia puts two and two together, and says, "You're Evan's son?" He notes that Julia is wearing Evan's shirt, so Julia introduces herself and tries to ascertain whether Evan has said anything about her to his son. Evan's son says that Evan didn't tell her anything, because he didn't tell anyone he was coming home. He has apparently passed the time by reading Julia's manuscript, and he asks her how she managed to fill up all those pages when she's only about his age. Evan comes in and kisses Julia, before noticing his son sitting there. We find out that his son's name is Brian, and Evan asks if he's home for Thanksgiving. Brian says he's home for good, since he dropped out of college. Evan asks if he knows when the deadline for tuition refund is, which seems like kind of a strange thing to ask. I think my parents' first statement in that situation would be, "Are you out of your mind?" or possibly, "I hope you haven't unpacked yet, because we're driving you back right now." Brian asks his dad if it's all about the money. Evan points out that Brian has accumulated "three schools, three years' tuition, how many credits? Zero." Julia looks like she really doesn't want to be there. Evan says Brian is destroying his college career out of spite. Brian doesn't know why he's there, since Evan's "too busy sleeping with other people's kids to care about his own." I think that line would have been more effective if the emphasis was changed to, "too busy sleeping with other people's kids to care about his own." See, what I really want to do is direct.
Joe shows Bailey the Thanksgiving menu for Salinger's. Bailey expresses surprise that the restaurant is going to be open on Thanksgiving. Joe says that he doesn't have anything better to do, and besides, the numbers have been "trending down" lately. Bailey insists that the numbers are fine, and also that Joe should have Thanksgiving dinner at Casa de Salinger. As Bailey and Joe are having this conversation, a woman walks into the restaurant. Joe starts to tell her that they're not open yet, but Bailey realizes it is Tracy, his married consort from last week. Bailey says that he's been blowing her off because she's married. Tracy says, "You care more about my marriage than the two people in it." She goes on to say that if her being married doesn't bother her, it shouldn't bother Bailey. Bailey asks about her husband. Tracy says, "Franklin couldn't care less" and reveals that he is going to London with his secretary for Thanksgiving, so she wants to spend it with Bailey. Bailey says he can't do that and Tracy leaves. Well, I guess that's the last we've seen of her! I bet she won't be back. In Bizarro World, that is. On this show, I bet she'll reappear before the end credits.
Claudia is walking down the hallway in school, trying to hide behind her hair. Derrick approaches her and says that he heard she was sick, and asks if she's okay. Throughout this scene, Claudia doesn't really say much except to repeat the last word Derrick said in a questioning way, so I'm just going to leave her out of it. In your mind, just insert a shot of Claudia looking confused and upset after everything Derrick says, and you've pretty much got it. Anyway, Derrick says he was going to call her but he thought she would be mad about the party. He says he "got a little out of control" but they were just having fun and he's sorry. When Claudia continues to be silent, he asks what she wants him to say and then leaves. Claudia continues to look sickened.
In the Salinger kitchen, Victor points out a job in the paper to Daphne, and says it "looks promising." Daphne doesn't respond because she is gazing dreamily out the window at Griffin. Victor notes that Griffin "looks even more promising." Daphne says that she can't start anything with Griffin because it would be "too weird," and Victor counters that it would be "too perfect." Daphne says that Griffin isn't interested anyway, and Victor says she should make him interested. Daphne asks how she's supposed to do that, and says in a mock-sensuous way, "Oh, Griffin, oh!" What she doesn't know is that Griffin has walked into the kitchen during that last part and he says, "What?" I have to admit that I giggled at the expressions on Daphne and Victor's faces. Daphne tries to cover and when Griffin turns his back, Victor and Daphne have one of those gesture-laden, silent conversations over what she should do . Daphne tells Griffin that she has a job interview and Victor makes an obvious mention of Daphne's car not working. Griffin asks about the car and Daphne and Victor do that two-different-answers-at-the-same-time thing, last employed to great effect on shows like Full House. Griffin gets the hint and offers Daphne a ride. After he walks out, Daphne tells Victor he's pure evil and he says she's welcome and does a weird smoothing down her hair type gesture. I love Victor. He's easily my favorite person on this show. But that gesture was a little much.
Evan and Julia are walking down the street, and Evan is babbling about something. Julia says, "I know this is completely none of my business..." and I can't believe that she's going to just butt out! Except she continues, "But you wanna tell me what happened with Brian this morning?" Wasn't she standing right there? She saw what happened. Evan tries to downplay the argument, saying that it's a game between them. He reveals that he doesn't talk to his son very often, and that he feels Brian just acts out to get a reaction from him. Julia says maybe it would be cheaper to just react, referring to all the tuition money Evan has spent. Evan says he tried that, he tried crying, he even tried family therapy. He wonders if he became a father too young, since he was only eighteen when Brian was born. I was wondering about that! Evan feels like everything he says to Brian is wrong, so now he just doesn't say anything. ["My mom was younger than that when I was born, and I managed to keep my ass in university. I'm just sayin'. So that's no excuse." -- Wing Chun]
Will pulls something out of the fridge at the Salingers' house as Joe tries to get a final head count on Thanksgiving dinner. He lists off everyone on the show now, and there are a lot of them! Bailey says, "Remember when it was Salinger, party of five?" which was kind of funny. Will says he'll be there for dinner since his parents aren't speaking to him. Victor passes through, having locked Owen in the basement for the night, and Bailey invites him to Thanksgiving dinner. Victor says that they already have enough people coming, and Joe says they'll do pot luck. Bailey says they won't do pot luck. The numbers may be down at the restaurant, but they can afford to feed everyone. That's the second reference to the numbers being down, so I'm predicting a future storyline where the restaurant starts losing money. Anyway, Bailey pretty much orders Victor to be there on Thanksgiving.
Kirsten tells Charlie that he can't sign the papers, because that would be like admitting guilt. Charlie says that he's thought about it, and that resigning will give them more options, because he will be able to work more hours at the furniture factory and still get paid by the school, which will mean he'll be making twice as much as he was before. Kirsten says that she doesn't care about the money. Charlie sees that she's getting upset and reminds her that the doctor told her stress would be bad for a potential pregnancy. Kirsten keeps going, saying that Sylvia should be thanking Charlie for trying to help her daughter. Charlie yells out "Stop!" and says he's going to take the deal just because Kirsten is so upset. She could be pregnant right now, so it's no time for them to be starting a war. On a completely unrelated topic, have you noticed that these two don't seem to have any friends at all? They spend all their time together or with Charlie's family.
Claudia comes into Julia's room. Julia is typing away on a laptop in what looks like a really uncomfortable position. She needs to get a desk. Claudia asks if she can tell Julia something, and if Julia will promise not to tell anyone. Julia agrees. Claudia fills her in on what happened with Derrick, and in the telling she starts crying and Julia also starts crying. Julia tells Claudia that she has to report him to the school and to his parents. Hey, Empathy Girl. How about taking a little time to tell Claudia that she didn't do anything wrong, and making sure she is really okay, before you go ordering her around? Just a suggestion. Anyway, Claudia says that's why she didn't want to tell anyone. Julia gives her the "he's done it before and he'll do it again" speech that has previously been employed on such fine programming as Blossom. Claudia says she doesn't want to talk about it. Julia asks her to promise to talk to someone. Isn't that what she just did? Oh, I guess Julia meant Claudia should talk to someone who will actually be helpful.
Charlie enters a meeting in the principal's office between Sylvia, a lawyer-type guy, the principal and him. Sylvia makes a crack about Charlie being late because he doesn't take this seriously. Sylvia? Shut up. Charlie says he's ready to sign the papers but the lawyer says that they aren't ready yet. Sylvia says that first she wants an apology from Charlie for what he did, and she wants the apology to be in the papers. Charlie is amused that she wants an apology, since (all together now) he didn't do anything. He says that Sylvia knows that her accusations are untrue, or she wouldn't be offering him a deal. Sylvia says she's offering the deal because she doesn't want Myra to have to face Charlie in court and she's protecting her. "Protecting her?" scoffs Charlie, and starts listing off all the things Myra has done to get her mother's attention. The principal finally stops the argument and says she thinks she can clarify this for everyone. She asks Charlie when his concerns began, and he agrees it was late October. At least this show (unlike Dawson's Creek) can keep the seasons straight most of the time. The principal asks if Charlie knew he should have reported his concerns to Social Services. Charlie reluctantly agrees. She asks if he regrets not following proper procedures. Charlie says that he does and the principal asks if that wording could be used in the papers. Sylvia purses her lips some more.
Alexa hugs Claudia in a deserted school hallway and says that she's sorry. Alexa laments that guys "get drunk and become these, like, totally other people and then we're supposed to just forgive them and pretend like nothing happened?" Sounds like she's speaking from experience. At first, I thought she was going to reveal that Cameron forced himself on her one time, but the writers went another way. Claudia tentatively suggests that they tell someone, like the school or Derrick's parents. Alexa acts shocked that Claudia would even suggest it since "reporting him is like saying he tried to..." and Claudia says, "Alexa, he did." Good for you, Claudia! Alexa protests that Derrick got drunk and made a mistake, which he admitted to, and that reporting him will ruin his life. Claudia says, "What about my life?" Alexa says that the whole school will be debating if Claudia is a tease or a slut, which is sad but true. Alexa also points out that Claudia stopped things before they went too far, and she didn't get hurt. She says that she believes Claudia, but not everyone will. You see, they're trying to draw a parallel here between Charlie's situation and Claudia's -- both will be skewered in the court of public opinion, even though they are on the right side. They haven't been too heavy-handed with the parallel yet, which is what I used to like so much about this show. Before it got really boring, that is.
Julia is talking to Evan about Thanksgiving at her house. Brian pipes up and wonders who her "happy family" act is for. Julia starts getting into it with Brian while dysfunctional Evan keeps telling her to ignore him. Julia tells Brian to just come out and say what he means, because she's tired of the "free-floating sarcasm". Boy, she'd hate it at Mighty Big TV! We've got free-floating sarcasm, and plenty of it. Anyway, Brian starts listing off all the things that are wrong, including that Julia is half his dad's age, that he didn't know she existed and that she's telling him how to act in his own house. Suddenly a door slams and they both realize that Evan has left. Julia tries to apologize but Brian just walks away. How long have Julia and Evan been together really? Like three weeks, right? I have to say, I don't know that she has earned the right to meddle in Evan's affairs yet.
Kirsten walks in while Charlie is reading the agreement papers and asks when he will be done teaching. Charlie says he hasn't signed the papers yet. Kirsten says she went to the doctor today because she was having cramping, and they did some tests and she's not pregnant anymore. She says she's angry because she wants to blame Sylvia for stressing her out, but she's also a little happy because she was actually pregnant "for a minute." When they were considering the effects of the hormones on Kirsten's depression, did they ever stop to think that having a miscarriage isn't going to help either?
Charlie is explaining the Myra situation to Claudia as they walk out of a grocery store. Claudia suggests that maybe Sylvia was jealous because Myra came to Charlie instead of to her own mother. Charlie says that he's not just going to stand by and take this. Claudia says that the whole school will be picking apart what he did. See, this is where the subtlety goes right to hell. Out comes the anvil of parallel storylines as Charlie says he realizes that, and that's why he wanted to check with Claudia first, since it's her school too. Remember last season when Charlie taught at a junior high? And now he's suddenly at a high school? Just wondering. Charlie finishes up his little speech by saying, "I have to believe that it matters that I didn't do it. I have to believe that the truth matters somehow." Hey, Charlie, are you saying you didn't do it? Because I really didn't get that the first seventy-five times you said it.
Charlie and Claudia walk into the house and it's all decorated for Thanksgiving. Charlie cracks, "Pilgrims broke in and redecorated." There are so many reasons why that's not funny, but I'm sure you could list at least ten, so I'll leave you to it. Oh, and Charlie? Shut up. Joe welcomes them in. Bailey enters and is also surprised at the decorating. It turns out that Victor did it because he has a "holiday fetish." Can I adopt Victor? Also, I would like Javier from Felicity. They should have a spin-off.
Julia watches Evan talk to Brian outside. Charlie comes in and sees Evan, and says that he wants to meet him. Julia asks him to wait, because Evan is working some stuff out with his son. Charlie says, "His son?" and looks amused that Julia is dating someone so old.
Will talks to Bailey about double dating with a couple of "ring girls" from his wrestling internship. I realize that Will has tuned into Steve Sanders from . Think about it. Perpetually horny. Irresponsible. Balding. Gets a woman pregnant. It fits. Anyway, Brandon, I mean Bailey doesn't want to go. Will says he's as fun as "a sack of wet laundry." Bailey is all "You can't talk to ring girls" and Will is all "Who cares?" Will says that Bailey is supposed to be more spontaneous these days, and points out that Sarah isn't having any trouble being spontaneous. Bailey keeps trying to object, but before he can get a word out, Will says, "Do it!" This happens about three times and then Bailey agrees to go.
Griffin almost knocks Daphne over in the kitchen. Daphne says he seems skittish and that he needs to relax. I think she's going to offer him a massage, like that's not the second oldest trick in the seduction book, but instead she goes more obvious: Get him drunk. She offers Griffin some "Pilgrim Punch." Does that mean punch made out of Pilgrims? After a terrible John Wayne impersonation by Daphne, they drink. After each sip, Daphne pours more straight alcohol into their glasses until they are pretty much doing shots.
Julia and Kirsten discuss how good the food looks, as if Kirsten eats, ever. Evan and Brian are fighting off-screen. Julia walks over and asks Evan what happened and he says that Brian left. Julia urges him to go after his son, but he refuses. Evan says that Brian thinks his father doesn't have any emotions, and that they fight but nothing gets better. Julia says that he has to go after him because there's no one else to do it. Julia says she'll go after him. Evan says that Julia should butt out of his business. Okay, actually he agrees with her, but my way was more fun.
Griffin and Daphne, clearly drunk, stumble down the basement steps. I guess it's time to bring up Owen, Diana or Thurber for a plot point. Oh, actually they're looking for more liquor. You'd think they wouldn't have much liquor around the house since Bailey is a recovering alcoholic. Daphne spies some and Griffin lifts her up to get it, but it's balsamic vinegar. So they start doing it right there. Griffin grunts a lot when he kisses.
Everyone gets food. Joe says there is someone at the door for Charlie, and of course it's Myra. Charlie says she shouldn't be there, she cries. She tells him that her mom misinterpreted things she wrote in her diary, and that she has told her mom that nothing happened. Also, a lawyer said that if it goes to court, Myra could get taken away from her mom, and she doesn't want that to happen. Charlie acts all cold, but you can tell he feels bad because...oh wait, actually his facial expression didn't change much. Forget I said anything.
They all sit down at the table. Victor makes a little toast thanking them for inviting him, and telling them how lucky they are to have one another. While he talks, Griffin and Daphne sneak in from different directions, looking very rumpled. Victor says that his family traditionally sings grace, and asks if he can. Everyone urges him to go ahead, so he sings. He has a beautiful voice. Seriously, I want him to come to my house for Thanksgiving.
Bailey knocks on a door to a house somewhere, but there's no answer. Tracy comes out and asks if he was leaving. I told you she'd be back. I really could not care less about this storyline, so let's just say that Bailey ends up going in the house to have sex.
Charlie stalks Sylvia so that he can talk to her. He tells her about Myra's coming over, and that he knows that Myra told her the truth, and that Myra will say the same thing to a judge. He tells her she should protect the people she loves, since that's what he is trying to do. Sylvia says she is already doing that. Charlie says if she was, then Myra wouldn't have to come to him, and that she's really protecting herself. As much as this woman sucks, Charlie is way too sanctimonious for someone who locks his little brother and his daughter in the basement all the time. He finishes up by saying, "Look after your little girl."
Griffin is in his shed, and Daphne comes in. These two are kind of cute together, but dialogue is not their strong point. Plus, it's a really clichéd scene. They both agree that they shouldn't start a relationship, but then they keep making out with each other. You've seen it before.
Julia comes home and Claudia tries to avoid her, but is not successful. Julia asks her how everything went at school. Claudia confesses that she didn't do anything, and that she just wants it to go away. Julia says that it won't just go away. Claudia says that she knows Julia has experience in this area, but that it's her life and she's the one who has to spend the year with everyone talking about whether she's a slut or a liar, or worse. What's worse than a slut or a liar? Julia asks how she'll deal with running into Derrick all the time. Claudia says she'll figure something out, or make like it never happened, because maybe it never did. She leaves and Julia takes a deep breath for some reason, like they forgot to cut that scene. Oh, I forgot, they have to end every scene with a Salinger reaction shot.
Bailey is on the phone making plans with Tracy. Will enters with two ring girls. Bailey ends up breaking his plans with Tracy to go out with "Tribeca." Tracy ends up telling him to come over as late as he wants. Will asks if Bailey is having fun yet, and Bailey replies, "You have no idea." It's funny when people have a lot of sex, isn't it?
Charlie and Kirsten are at a restaurant, waiting for a table to "celebrate". Kirsten fills us in that Sylvia dropped all the charges. Charlie says that she apologized, and Kirsten points out that she apologized to Myra but not to Charlie. Charlie says that's not what they're celebrating. They are celebrating that they got pregnant, and they will again, and he wants to start trying again right away. Kirsten suggests trying the old-fashioned way first. I've said it before -- I really don't need to know anything about those two having sex.
Brian is sitting at a table, writing something. Julia comes downstairs and asks if he's leaving. Brian says he was just writing them a note. Julia asks if he's going back to school, and Brian asks whether Evan told her about their talk. It seems that Evan said that Brian either has to pay back all the lost tuition money, or go back to school. Brian feels like his dad had been coached, and that it was like arguing with someone else -- like Julia. Brian puts on his coat and tells Julia that she's way too young for his dad, but he thinks his dad is lucky. Julia thanks him and gives him a hug. As she pulls away, Brian kisses her. She kind of shoves him away and Brian leaves. I think that scene would have been even better if Evan had seen it from the top of the stairs, but missed the part where Julia pushed him away. Don't you think? Anyway, I think my boyfriend put it best when he said that Neve Campbell is not all that, and he doesn't get why all these men fall hopelessly in love with her character. Exactly.