By Al Lowe
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.After meeting a sexy chick in a seriously bootylicious parent-child yoga class, Crosby is surprised when Jabbar's resulting playdate into a booty call. To his credit, he shuts down the hottie, but Jasmine finds out and busts him.
Oops, Sarah is falling for Mr. Cyr. She can't help it -- he likes her so much it makes her like herself. Plus, making out is fun, and he seems to be good at it. He even sends her flowers at work! He makes romantic Faulkner references! This is all good for Sarah, but way bad for Amber, who has an even larger crush on Mr. Cyr that is not helped by the Sarah-related extra attention he pays her. Adam discerns Amber's mega-crush and warns Sarah, but she doesn't believe it. So, she tells Amber what's going on, and her daughter is crushed. It drives her back into the arms of the loathsome Damian.
Haddie is shadowing her Aunt Julia at her law office for a school report. Talking to Haddie reminds Julia of the civil rights reasons she got into law in the first place. Of course, as if Kristina didn't feel like the worst mom ever last week with Max, now she feels bad because Haddie is impressed by Julia and not her.
Though Max is doing really well on his new system with Gaby, Adam is having a hard time with it. This is not helped when he sees Gaby out on the town, tying one on. He's worn out by all of his family commitments and takes it out on Kristina. He makes it better by teaching Haddie about the work her mom used to do in the community.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Crosby has achieved nirvana. Yes, a woman is intentionally shoving her behind in his face. What? It's yoga, people. And not just any yoga -- yoga with Jabbar! At some kind of parent/child yoga class, which looks to be filled with moms and their kids, Crosby only half pays attention to his son while an unknown woman of mysterious provenance does her best downward facing tramp in front of him. Crosby, who has styled his hair in a tragic top-knot that makes him look like... a dude who would take a yoga class to meet women, flirts without reservation. When the butt woman's son chats it up with Jabbar, Crosby is only too happy to accept her invitation to a playdate. After all, as she tells Jabbar (whose name she pronounces with about 45 rolled rrrrrs at the end), fate has brought them all together. Probs what brought you together was Jabbar's mom picking up a yoga flyer somewhere and commanding Crosby to take Jabbar to the class, since the kid looks like the only person besides the instructor who knows what he's doing.
Adam is repairing a bicycle in his garage while Kristina rummages through their Goodwill stash. Finding some black pumps, she calls to Haddie, who is in the house, and who answers with the standard teenaged girl "WhAAaat?" Oh, how I simultaneously remember, regret and dread that sound. Kristina has dug out these perfectly acceptable black heels for Haddie to wear for career day during which she will be shadowing Aunt Julia at her office. "Mom, NO!" Haddie says, as if the shoes are hideous in some way. "Aunt Julia works in a REAL office." Kristina is offended. "I wore these real places!" she insists, but Adam interrupts, asking why Haddie isn't shadowing him. "What's wrong with my career?" he asks. Haddie rolls her eyes, hard. "I can really answer that, if you want," she says, dripping with sarcasm. OMG, children. I hate them. I remember being one, and I hate myself, retrospectively. And I was a NICE child. But I think I remember saying something like this to my beloved father, and... just what did I think I knew about anything?! It pains me to remember that. Now, granted, he was an insurance adjuster -- a completely thankless job that he never would have wanted for me, but still. I mean, I went on to work a series of thankless jobs, anyway, and I am sure I will continue to do so. Lucky for me, he was a kind and forgiving soul, much like Adam Braverman, who doesn't even blink at this bitchy comment from his clueless daughter, mostly because he instead chooses to celebrate the successful repair of his bike, instead. "No, no!" Haddie says, smelling what's up: a family bike ride. "This is one of those Braverman Family Fun things," she says, "and I'm not doing it." Adam says yes it is, and yes, she is. "You guys mount up," he says, "and I'm gonna go get the boy!" Haddie snarkily points out that she is going to a movie with Steve in an hour and that "the boy" still has 40 minutes left in his session with Gaby. "No, he doesn't," Adam says, as if this is the first he has heard of this. Haddie and Kristina both explain, with gestures, that yes, he does, as stated on the huge schedule located in the kitchen. No problem, Adam says, obviously having adopted some new philosophy of optimism, he's going to get Max and if all they can do is go around the block together as a family, so be it. Of course, he gets shot down again, this time by Gaby. Though he sort of tries to chide her into changing the plan, she doesn't think they should stop their session, now, as the sticker system she implemented last week is really working out well. As proof, Max sticks his head out of his bedroom -- plainly ignoring his father -- and announces that he's done with his math. "Can I have my Spiderman sticker, now?" he asks. Gaby reminds him that the deal was that he completed math and reading before the sticker was bestowed. "Okay," he says. "Can we start reading, then?" Adam sees that he's got no choice and says they should get to it.