Fade up on Augustus "Metaphorically speaking…and speaking…and speaking" Hill. "In Oz, you got to be ready to defend yourself." Let me just interrupt to let you all know, this particular episode needed Hill. The explanations of shanks and where they come from sort of appeased my irritation at the seemingly endless supply of weaponry in a maximum-security prison. I said sort of. And I said this episode. Don't everyone go opening threads titled "Megyn: sell-out by mid-season?" just yet.
We open to find Glynn in mid-chastise, his victim poor, depressed Alvarez, who shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other while trying to squelch the voices that tell him to shoot the president and that Jodie Foster is his key to hot, un-bridled monkey-lovin' passion. Glynn bitches that Alvarez is supposed to be his snitch, but hasn't told Glynn one thing he didn't already know. Al tells him about Morales requesting he grease Redding tout suite so he can get back into the cool gang. Glynn, void of anything living in the same neighborhood as sympathetic, just tells him he's screwed and that he may as well send Alvarez's bipolar ass back to solitary. Alvarez weakly suggests that Glynn pick Morales up on a conspiracy charge. Like, "pick him up"? He's already in jail, nimrod. Glynn basically says the same thing, and Alvarez asks him for a few days to figure something out, or until his Fiber-Con kicks in.
Alvarez walks through the common room and meets up with Morales, who asks him where he's been. Al tells him he's been "kissing the warden's ass," and proceeds to outline his new plan to be a "double agent"; since the warden wants info on Morales, he'll only supply him with info Morales wants him to have. Morales: "That's a brilliant idea except, there isn't any information I want the warden to have." Poor Alvarez looks crushed while Morales advises him to start "looking forward to the fifty years all by [his] lonesome."
In the laundry room, oddly enough no longer bathed in the soothing, warm glow of neon lime, Poets hoists himself off the counter to allow Alvarez in. Redding and Hill are in attendance. Al wants to talk, but Burr says they have no business together. "Morales wants you dead." Poet snickers at poor Al, "That ain't no headline." Alvarez shares further that it is he who was asked to do the deed. Burr considers this: "You're playing a dangerous game here, son. Betraying your own skin?" Alvarez whines that they betrayed him first. "No doubt." I love when Burr says that. He's just a cool cat. Till he sees them Cheetos. Burr tells him that the trouble with getting into bed with a traitor is, you never know when they will turn on you. Tell me about it! If I had a friggin' nickel for every traitor I got into bed with, I'd be a rich ho. Burr says he'll have to "decline the offer," and as Alvarez leaves, Poet helpfully repeats, "Dee-cline!" in case Al misunderstood the burning rejection. As he leaves and walks back towards the common area, one of the members of the Latino gang asks Al why he was talking to Redding and company. Al gives him a half-assed answer about borrowing detergent. "We haven't forgotten you shanked Carlos Ricardo." Alvarez hears this, turns around, and releases the challenge since he has "nothing to lose and nothing to gain." He lunges at the guy who was busily twitching his upper lip, and slices his throat. Twitchy falls to the ground and spurts blood while the crowd goes wild. Everybody loves a fight in Oz. A hack tries to grab Al but gets his hand cut for his effort. We see Keller watching the whole thing and looking thoroughly entertained; then we switch back to more hacks, one of them clubbing Alvarez so they all can pin him down to the ground.
Hill: "This particular shank is called the Gillette Bayonet. It's designed not to cut -- but to slice. The blade from a disposable razor is extracted and then attached to a pen or pencil." He demonstrates, and then loses me by bitching about cutting himself. The weapon is interesting, though. MacGyver for prison.
Ah, here we are in solitary, just in time to witness Alvarez going big potty. He gets up, and I think it's bad enough that he doesn't wipe, but then he pauses as he's about to flush. The bells start going off, and I know that it's all about to get real, real bad. He reaches inside the toilet, picks up a Mr. Hanky, and proceeds to wipe it everywhere. I realize I have to recap this, but I want you all to know that my gag reflex is currently being tickled not only by the visual, but also by the recall as I type. Gaaah!! A guard looks in the room; we see him first see, then smell, the shit job Al did redecorating, and then he closes the little window as Al wipes it all over his face. What is it with Al and his bodily waste? Y'all remember season three? He drank his own piss in front of Father Mukada because the hacks weren't giving him water or food? I am so never making out with HIM again! Anyway, after the guard shuts the window, he walks back down the hall, past a forlorn Busmalis.
We fade from him to Rebadow, breaking the sad news to Norma that her fiancé is currently in solitary confinement and not allowed to get married. Norma asks why, and Rebadow regales her with the saga of boy-digs-tunnel, boy-meets-girl, boy-promises-warden, boy-tries-to-fill-in-tunnel-but-hits-a-water-main, boy-loses-privileges. We've all heard it a million times. Norma implores him to do something. Rebadow promises he will.
In the warden's office, Rebadow is just finishing the whole saga, and Glynn says, "That's a lovely story…why should I believe you?" The warm fuzzy factor rises as Rebadow reminds Glynn that, in thirty-five years of being in Oz, he has seen murders, riots, and had a hundred different cell-mates, but not once has he "stepped up on another prisoner's behalf." Glynn sort of nods and glazes over until Rebadow finishes, then says, "Okay. But no more goddamned tunnels!"
Cut to the geri-pod as Busmalis enters and thanks Rebadow profusely. "I don't know how you got me out, or how I'll ever repay you." Rebadow clucks that that's all stuff and nonsense since it was no big thing. Busmalis walks to the sink to splash his face as Rebadow wags a finger. "No more tunnels!" Busmalis waxes philo-not!-phical about tunnels and how he figured out in solitary that they're extended graves. But he's not dead yet! No sir! Off he goes to call Norma, and Rebadow smiles at the sheer whimsy of it all.
Staff meeting. McManus holds court with a grandiose explanation of good versus evil and how he plays a part in everything that ever was. He laments the aging pill, currently being tested, and how the fact that the inmates will be freed "invalidates the whole purpose of our jobs." Stupid itchy McManus. Murphy breaks in with, "Tim's right, a killer at twenty who is in for twenty, turns forty and goes free -- he's still a killer." Tim then goes on to say that the pill is an admission to their failure, that they can't rehabilitate them so why even try? His plea? To stop the program. Gloria fumes, "Leave it to you, Tim, to turn a disagreement between us into some self-righteous crusade." Then to the rest of them, "He's making speeches because he didn't want the O'Reily brothers included." Sister Pete says she thinks Tim "brought up some good points" Gloria balks at this, but Pete stands her ground. He does actually bring up some points, but I hate him, so I'm automatically on Gloria's side. Claire pipes up to ask, "Which one of you can claim to have turned one of these fucks around?" LoPresti agrees with her, and Murphy tells him to go back to selling used cars. Can you not totally see LoPresti in a plaid sports jacket? He's such a cheese-head. Where was I? Oh, right, Glynn wakes up and announces to the table of bickering fuckwits that he'll "call the commissioner" on this, but until he decides to "pull the plug," the program continues. Way to rule, Leo.
In the infirmary, Gloria gets ready to examine all the pill-poppers, who are currently in their underwear. Cyril stands and plays with a split end while she checks Ryan out…and then she examines him. Thank you, I'll be here all week. Ryan asks when the effects of the drug will start rearing their little gray heads. Gloria says it's never been tested on humans, or Robson, but the lab rats began aging within three days. Ryan leans closer and winces, "If I get old and wrinkled, will you still love me?" Gloria looks at him, thinking, "Hell no" but just stares dumbly at him until, "!" Cyril plops down and she asks if he has any complaints. "I have a tummy-ache." Yeah, you and me both, Cyril.
Lights on! Ryan sits up in his cot and hacks a few times before telling Cyril to get up. He hops down from said cot and walks over to the mirror to splash. He catches sight of poor old Cyril and "Mother of Christ!" Cyril turns over and says, "Ryan, I don't feel so good." Back in the infirmary, Cyril gets examined yet again by Dr. Nathan's amazing stethoscope of diagnosis. She finishes, and Ryan follows her to her desk. He asks what she found. "He's begun to age." Does anyone have a cookie? Because that Gloria sure deserves one for that astute observation brought to you by the makers of No Shit Sherlock. Ryan wigs, "What about me?" The whole idea was for him and Cyril to go through this together, "to get out of Oz, together." He wants her to stop administering the drug to Cyril. She says no: "You signed an agreement." "I don't care! Everything I've done so far has fucked Cyril's life up and I'm not about to watch him disintegrate!" Gloria sticks to her guns and refuses to stop with the pills. Again with the "You signed an agreement!" Ryan: "I don't care!" Gloria: "Well, I do!" Ryan glares and points at her: "Fuck you." He goes to take Cyril back to their pod; she protests and says they're keeping him for observation, then tells the guards to get Ryan out of there. Maybe I'm just nutty, but I detect trouble in paradise. Speaking of nutty…wonder how Alvarez is doing.
Beecher and Ryan on a landing above the common area. "You seen my brother's hair?" Beecher confirms that he has, and Ryan begins the discussion of everyone backing out and how he wants to stop the drug testing. Beecher calls him on his shit by saying, "That's just like you, O'Reily." Beecher lectures him that, although he's "terrified" of what the effects of the drug will be, he's not backing out…he gave his word. Ryan says he'll talk to the others, and Beecher smirks, "Those guys are used to playing Russian roulette with their lives."
While some watch "Up Your Ante!", Hoyt and Wick play cards. Wick TMIs that Dr. Nathan told him he has "pubic lice," and Hoyt sort of recoils. They both stop to gawk at Cyril as he walks by. Hoyt says that won't be them. Wick agrees: "Other than the lice, I feel great!" His head then drops to the table. Hoyt looks concerned and lifts Wick's head to see blood pouring out of Wick's nose and mouth. He starts screaming for Murphy. Back in Gloria's office, McManus enters to "apologize"; he backtracks that he realizes he used their argument to protest the drug testing, and he's sure she was acting with the "best of intentions." "Was I?" She mopes that her answer to everything is to "pop a pill in their mouths." She equates her services with those of a drug dealer. McManus redirects the subject to…let me think…himself! "Better that than a…I don't even know what I am anymore…I'm so tired and hungry…good night, Gloria." Okay, positions please, lights…and we're rolling! "Tim, wait!" "Yeah?" "That rain check for dinner? I'd like to cash it in." He asks if she's sure, and she says she "doesn't want to be alone tonight." They walk out. I intubate myself to pump the remains of my dinner out so the stomach pains will stop and I can then cease my screaming.
And we're in the Loving Care Pod, where Cyril is lying in his cot and asking Ryan if he remembers what their mama used to sing to them when they were little. Cyril himself can't remember. Ryan tells him to try to sleep. Cyril keeps it up, and Ryan slides out of bed to climb in to Cyril. He starts singing an Irish lullaby. He's very sweet even though he sounds like ass. Cyril starts to smile, because hearing the song makes him happy. Aw.
The Upright Muslim Brigade. They christen Leroy. It sounds like his new name is Salaah. Anyway, it means "honoring the faith." We are treated to a flashback of Leroy and Adebesi, in the video that launched a thousand subplots, where good times were had and Coke was snorted, not drunk, the way God intended it. The Muslims all begin to depart, and Leroy says to Said that there are many things he wants to tell him…but he is afraid. Said reassures him that he must learn to come to him with "anything." "Even if it's about Simon Adebesi?" Cue the glare of overkill as Said whips around. Leroy clarifies that Simon was "his friend," and that Said "plotted to murder him." Said denies it: "No, his death was never my goal." He goes on to say that he tried to help Adebesi, but Simon just wanted to fulfill every desire he had, and when they were fulfilled, he wanted to die. Leroy asks him how he could know this. Said grasshoppers that "you only have to look into a man's face, to know when his time has come."
In the lunchroom of my discontent, Robson walks up to Leroy in the food line and asks when he plans to take care of Said. "It's taking too long." Leroy says he's waiting for his crew to not be around. We cut to the pod-o-prayer in question, where Arif stands guard by Said's door. Leroy approaches. Arif greets him and asks if he knows that Said suffers from hypertension. Leroy offers to relieve Arif of door duty so he can go to the bathroom. Arif agrees and leaves. Leroy enters the pod and raises a shank to, I believe, stab Said, but the shank is raised to eye-level and I just don't see how a fatal wound could be inflicted. He stares at Said a moment, and a look of both panic and conflict crosses his face as the eerie music of balloon air escaping plays. Said awakens and looks bleary-eyed at Leroy, who then tells him he is safe. Said smiles at this, and Leroy leaves. Once outside, he leans over the railing and speeyacks onto Ryan and Beecher's game table below. Is this the show of bodily functions or what?
Poet, Hill, and Omar in the library, discussing when Redding will "make his move" on Pancamo and Morales. Omar pronounces Pancamo "Pank-a-mo." Hill tells Omar to relax -- Redding will tell them when the time is right. Omar looks up to see Rick the Fox enter the library and starts wriggling in excitement. "Is that who I think it is?" He wants to meet him, so Poet takes him over. Fox only wants drugs. Poet says, "I thought you were off the drugs?" Fox says, while looking at Hill, that he has another seven years, so he may as well partake of the goods. Omar is practically peeing himself, but before Alvarez can show up to splash around in it before drinking, Fox leaves. Omar needs a nice, calming herbal tea. He's very excitable.
Underneath the cloak-of-darkness stairwell, Omar bitches to Poet about how "nobody notices [him]" -- he just doesn't impress people. Poet just laughs, "What are you gonna do, man?" Omar yaks that he's going to make them fear him and pulls out a shank -- out of his ass, I presume -- and starts waving it around, and I try to make out the name on it…Mc…something…or other. Anyway, Poet nervously asks him to stop waving the shank in his face. Omar takes off and walks through the TV area. Pancamo tells him to move out of the way; Omar looks up, spies McManus, and proceeds up the stairs. He calls his name, and as Tim turns around, "Yeah?" Omar stabs him like the bitch he is…I mean, he stabs poor McManus. Pancamo, below, jumps up and cheers while Murphy freaks that Tim might die without ever knowing the lust burning deep within his hack heart, as he cradles Tim's head and calls for back-up. Tim moans; Hoyt claps his hands and asks "how it feels." Off Omar goes to solitary. Again.
Hill shows us the "knife" called a "blunt." "A prisoner pounds a hunk of metal while working in the shop, he then rubs it against a stone wall -- we got a lot of them here in Oz [insert my eye roll at the obvious here] -- and sharpens it into a blade. It causes internal damage." He does not explain what the handle is made of, or how the blade gets wedged in there. That's the part I don't get. The bayonet was pretty easy to construct, but how the hell do they get the blade into a handle?
Unit J, where the fun never stops and lunch is a little too salty. Mobay is playing cards with Alvin when a guard tells him he has a visitor. It's his "partner." Alvin sees his face and asks if it's his mistress. "Kind of; she pretended to be my girlfriend." He clarifies that she was indeed his partner, and that, until that very day, said partner had refused to see him. Pointless scene ensues where she acts cold and he asks her to understand that he "got too deep in Desmond Mobay." She tells him their captain ordered her to visit him; she blames him for everything from society's perception of the police to what makes the world a bad, bad place. Mobay just looks sad. She leaves and asks him to make sure he tells the captain she was there. She's a bitch. Back in the bad-cop/bad-cop unit, Alvin, bored, asks Clayton if he wants to play cards. Clayton rudely declines and sulks while petting his prayer beads. Alvin gets up and lets Clayton in on the secret that they are in the same boat up the same creek; they are all cops who "copped out." Yeah, Alvin, that was clever. Clayton pouts that he is not like him…he's a "political prisoner, incarcerated by an unjust system." "No, son, you're just a punk with bad aim." D'oh! Clayton: "And you're a dead man." "Is that a threat?" "It ain't a valentine." I think Clayton and McManus should go off on an island together. They both work my nerves.
Morales and Pancamo play cards in the playroom. The refugee who was friends with ESG -- his name sounds like "Gong," but I hate to misspell things so I'll just call him "Fred" -- sits and stares at the Italian twosome, which makes Morales highly uncomfortable. He turns and yells, "Stop staring!" Pancamo tells him to chill. Morales says he "keeps staring at me like he is putting a curse on me or something." Then Murphy shows up and tells Fred that the warden wants to see him. Off they go, leaving Morales to fret about why the warden wants to see Fred.
In Glynn's office, Fred tells Glynn and Ms. Gau that Morales killed ESG. Glynn asks, "Do you have any proof?" Nope. They tell Fred they didn't call him there to see his Jessica Fletcher impression, but rather to tell him that the man responsible for landing him in this hell-hole has been arrested and will, of course, be serving time in Oz, because there is no other prison. Anywhere. They will keep the refugees isolated from him, which means they will only let them hang out in the back storage room, like, a few days a week. The one with the staple guns and the large, blunt objects in it? Fred wants to meet the guy. He asks them what possible harm he could do to him. Really bad flashback of Jia Kenmin, the man in question, being arrested in what looks like either a bad set dresser's idea of China or a bad set dresser's idea of Chinatown. We go to the room of interaction, where they are told they have five minutes. Jia sits. He is very, very pretty. He looked cheesy in the flashback, but in this scene he looks kinda hot, and I want to pet him. Jia: "So?" Fred: "I am told your parents left China, same as us, escaped the horrors to make a better life for you…how can you treat your own people like dirt?" Jia just looks at him. Fred tells him there is one thing he must do to restore his honor and the honor of those who have suffered. He leans in and tells him in Chinese to kill Enrique Morales. "Will you do that?" We never hear Jia's answer, but see him walking through Em City with his stuff. Pretty, pretty panda. Wait…wasn't he supposed to be isolated from the refugees? How is putting him in Em City, amongst the cots, in any way "isolation"? Right on cue, we witness a newscast reporting that the refugees are to be sent back to China. While the newscaster bleats, everyone stares at the pretty new guy.
Solitary. Supreme is being released. As he walks through the common room, Keller looks him up and down as we hear Redding tell Poet and Hill that he knows Supreme. He refers to him as "Ketchum." Poet corrects him and explains that he is now known as "Supreme Allah." Hill says Allah has been on trial for killing two other inmates. Allah walks up and acknowledges Burr with "heard you were in circulation." Burr replies, "Get the fuck away from me, Ketchum." As he leaves, Hill looks confused and asks Burr what that was about. Burr asks Hill if he "ever wonders how the police knew [Hill's] whereabouts the night [he] was arrested." Hill: "I assumed they had me under surveillance." Burr tells him it's all bullshit, that Supreme turned Hill in. If it weren't for Supreme, Hill wouldn't be in the wheelchair, or in Oz. Now that's a lot to lay on a dude. Hill backs up in his chair and looks ill. He wheels himself away.
Board meeting with Morales, Pancamo, and Supreme Asshole. They tell Sup that they will cut him in on the action if he "takes care" of Redding. Supreme agrees to this, but needs some time to get the job done. Morales tell him not to "wait too long," and to snap Redding's neck before he snaps theirs. Allah leaves the meeting, walks to the railing, and looks down at Burr, who sits at a game table and slowly looks up to return the glare.
We cut to the shower, where Hill sits in a chair to his wheelchair and showers. Enter Supreme, who greets Hill and astutely observes, "Being cripple must suck." Then Supreme mentions Redding and feigns concern over the fact that the Italian twosome wants him dead. Hill comments that he's known Redding "all his life." And that he took care of Hill and his family when their father was killed in Nam. Supreme acknowledges this. "I know you have much love for him." He tells Hill to let Redding know about the plot against him, to which Hill suggests that Supreme tell Redding himself. Allah says he can't: "He won't let me near him." Hill says, "What about me?" He confronts Allah about ratting him out to the cops, to which Allah just says, "Bullshit." Hill gets himself in his chair and goes after Allah, who then knocks Hill out of the chair and kicks him several times in the upper chest like a midget pimp on crack. He stops kicking and walks out of the shower, leaving Hill just lying there.
Later, in the library, Burr approaches Supreme as he sits at a table just down from Keller, who seems SO engrossed in his book. Burr perches on the table and stares Allah down. "It takes a real man to beat a guy in a wheelchair." Allah denies it, saying he "never touched" Hill. "Just like you didn't kill Shemin and Brown?" Allah casts a look in Keller's direction and says, "I'm innocent of that…there are others who need to pay for that crime." Burr, undeterred, asks him about Daniels. Allah, fed up, says that Daniels laughed at him, so he got what he deserved. Supreme then exits, followed by Burr. Keller swallows hard, and for once it's because he's nervous.
Ryan and Keller, in Ryan's pod, discussing the situation. Keller tells Ryan that Supreme knows they killed Shemin and Brown, then pinned it on him. Ryan coolly says he didn't tell anyone. Keller points out that they were both guys Beecher slept with. Ryan, even cooler, says, "Maybe he thinks you did it…but not me." Keller looks at him. "You looking to hang me out to dry, O'Reily?" "No." Ryan says he'll talk to Supreme and report back to Keller what he does and doesn't know: "You can trust me, K-boy." Keller says he has no other option.
Computer room. Allah and Ryan are both on the computers, about two away from each other. Ryan acts irritated with his computer and asks Allah if he'll take a look at it for him. Allah looks at him and says, "No." Ryan asks if he has PMS or something. Oh, whatever, Ryan. The PMS joke just gets funnier and funnier. Supreme says he "did a lot of thinking in solitary" and came up with the brilliant formula of Shemin and Brown plus Ryan and Keller equals Supreme, almost on death row. Now you try! Ryan glares at him: "You added wrong, cuz." Allah says that addition was never his strong suit; he favors subtraction. Oz minus Keller and Ryan equals justice. God, please kill me. Ryan takes this in and gets up to back out of the room.
Meanwhile, in the laundry room, Keller asks Redding if he will take care of greasing Allah for him. Burr plays it cool and asks why he would want to do that. Keller offers his assistance. Burr clarifies that he "doesn't need assistance" in these matters, because he "doesn't mean the man any harm." Keller gets up and leaves. We see Redding on the payphone while Poet stands guard outside, biting his nails fretfully. We hear Burr say, "Thursday, eleven a.m., sharp. Be on time!" He walks out, looks at Poet, and says, "We're all set." Off they go into the wild blue yonder as we cut stage left to see Keller and Ryan lurking in a corner. Ryan: "I'm telling you, we gotta do something." Keller: "Y'know, I just got the funniest feeling the old man is gonna take care of everything." With that, they walk away.
In the visiting room, Supreme visits with a girl, and we hear him tell her in muffled tones why he hasn't been in touch, solitary, blah blah yadda. At the table behind them, Poet indicates to his "guest" to check under the table for the shank to be explained to us. Method Man reaches underneath the table, pulls the shank from where it's taped, gets up, and stabs Supreme in the gut a few times while the girl screams.
Hill. "This shank is a classic, a toothbrush, with the end carved into a sharp point. The brilliant part is, the weapon doesn't have to be concealed…you just put it in your pocket, brush side up."
Poet being questioned by Glynn. Poet denies knowing anything, about anything. Ever. Glynn bitches about the stabbing, and Poet unwisely says, "Don't be blaming me for your lax security." Glynn tells him that "a few days in the cage" should show him what for. That birdcage is the stupidest idea I have ever heard. It's right up there with throwing them into a dirty room, naked, with a bucket to piss in. Don't get me wrong, I like the naked part, but -- c'mon! This is rehabilitation? This is why McManus and his preaching piss me off. Anyway, we see Supreme being wheeled into the infirmary while Hill looks on from his bed of pain. Supreme looks pretty messed up. Again with the annoying balloon music. It's right up there with nails on a chalkboard and Yoko Ono records.
Father Mukada returns! He approaches Timmy in the library and, after explaining that he's been on retreat, he asks why Timmy hasn't been an altar boy at mass lately. Timmy calmly looks up and replies, "The Catholic church is Satan's whore." Oh. I thought I was. If Father had a beer, I'm quite sure we would have seen a mighty spit-take. Mukada sits and asks where he heard that from. Reverend Dylan turns out to be the source of the blasphemy. Timmy says, "When I first heard him, I thought he was a dipshit, then he started to make sense." Timmy tells Mukada that he plans to convert and also attend bible college for his BA. Mukada gently suggests that he help Timmy with that. Timmy says, "No, that's okay." Then turns back to his reading. Mukada stares at him, dumbfounded. Timmy turns back and says, "God be with you."
Dylan arrives in Mukada's office for a little pow-wow. Mukada, acting very nice, tells him he's "glad" Reverend D is there to "help out." Rev tells him he's "shocked" at the way the Protestant population has been treated. Mukada slowly tells him that he does what he can. He broaches the subject of Timmy and his newfound wish to attend Bible college. Dylan says that "the right education will help him find the way." They begin snipping at each other, Dylan theorizing that Mukada is "afraid" of losing Timmy to Christ. Father protests, "Timmy already has Christ." Dylan points to the crucifix on the wall and says, "That is not Christ, that is showbiz on a stick." Mukada snipes, "You of all people, you have turned faith into a cartoon." After successfully pushing every last one of the good Father's buttons, Dylan cuts the theological fire-fight short by leaving. He stops at the door to "invite" Mukada to Timmy's baptism that evening. Cue the Jesus music as we see the reverend in the lunchroom, performing said baptism on Timmy; Mukada walks through the baptism scene looking perturbed.
Beecher and Schillinger in session together. I was beginning to wonder where the old coot had gotten to. Beecher talks about his first experience in Oz, how he had to room with Adebesi. Schillinger breaks in and gets reprimanded by Sister Pete, who reminds him to let Beecher finish his thoughts. Schillinger complies meekly, which really disturbs me. Not to mention the fact that it's no fun. Beecher asks that Schillinger take "his half" of the responsibility for the feud between them. They are cut short by a guard opening the door. Sister Pete demands to know what he needs. The guard says it's an emergency, and he interrupted to retrieve Schillinger, per Glynn's orders.
Glynn's office. Two guards stand behind Schillinger as Glynn informs him that they found the body of one Hank Schillinger, complete with a bullet in his head. Schillinger denies it. He insists it's a mistake. "Hank is not dead, he has this cute little wife, they're going to have a baby…" His voice trails off as he absorbs it all. Then he flips out and yells, "Hank's is not dead!" and the guards start after him as Glynn just holds up his hands as if to say, "Hey, I didn't do it." Schillinger stomps out. Back in his cell, Robson reminds him that Hank was involved in all sorts of stuff that would have gotten him killed. Schillinger looks at him: "This is you consoling me?" Robson goes on to say that he thinks it's Beecher, that Beecher hasn't "retaliated" so far because the revenge had already been exacted. Which makes me wonder why Robson wasted Schillinger's time going over all the reasons others might want Hank dead. He succeeds in pissing Vern off; he begins to pace, stopping only to declare that he will "kill [Beecher's] daughter…I'll kill his whole family." They leave and walk to the lunchroom; Dylan walks up and offers his condolences to Schillinger, who thanks him irritably. Dylan proposes that they pray together. "How does the saying go, reverend? There's a time to be born, a time to die, a time for every purpose under heaven?" Dylan nods. "Well, the time for praying is over." Schillinger holds up his hand when Dylan begins to protest, and walks away. Robson pushes Dylan to prevent him from going after Schillinger: "Leave the man alone." Robson just loves that his boyfriend's back and there's gonna be some trouble.
we see Keller slide in to Rebadow as he eats. "Where's Beecher…this stuff is going down fast." Rebadow tells him Beecher's having a play date with Holly. Keller swoops off.
Cut to the room for the traumatized and dysfunctional; as Beecher plays with Holly, Robson approaches Beecher's brother as he waits outside the room. "You Beecher's brother?" Given the history of violence, he stupidly says, "Yes," which gets him a stick in the ribs. Robson runs off, and the bloody hand of "oh shit" bangs on the glass to alert Beecher. Beecher grabs his daughter, rather than leaving her in the room, and goes to check on his brother.
"Then there's the Don Juan. A bedspring, straightened at the end. It makes a smaller wound, but goes much deeper."
As the stabbed brother is wheeled out of the infirmary, Beecher tells his father to take Holly away. His dad looks at him grimly: "She's in danger again?" Well, duh. That's affirmative. Roger that. Beecher asks if he understands. "Yes Toby, I understand, but I'm not sure she will…talk to her." Beecher walks over and tells Holly that Grandpa is going to take her on a "long trip," and when she gets back they will "be together forever." He hugs her.
Keller sits in Beecher's pod. "You've got to kill Schillinger!" Beecher shakes his head and says he wants to just let Schillinger kill him. Beecher wants it all to be over, but Keller wants to fight. Beecher explains that if he kills Schillinger, maybe, one day, that unborn grandchild will grow up and kill one of Beecher's grandchildren. He starts to get up amidst Keller's protests, but Keller tells him to wait. He hugs Beecher and then punches him twice.
Keller lopes up as Reverend Dylan finishes Bible study. He asks Dylan if he knows about the situation between Keller and Beecher, and that Schillinger will kill Beecher. Dylan says he can't stop him. Keller tells him he ordered the hit on Hank, not Beecher. That he will confess to the authorities if Dylan tells Schillinger. Dylan agrees to help. We cut to Dylan telling Schillinger the story. Schillinger looks blank as Robson protests and tells Schillinger not to believe it. Dylan tells Schillinger to not harm Beecher or his family; Schillinger walks away as Robson yells, "Beecher killed your son!"
Session time -- Schillinger enters and looks at Beecher. "What is the best memory you have of your son?" Beecher looks sad and answers, "The first time he approached me, unprompted, hugged me and said, 'Daddy, I love you.'" Schillinger looks at him: "Beecher, I promise not to hurt your daughter, or anyone else in your family, see, I want to believe you didn't kill Hank." He goes on to say that he needs to believe in something besides hate, and with his first grandchild coming, he wants the kid to put his arms around his neck and tell him he loves him. Schillinger stands: "I'm sorry about your son." He offers his hand to Beecher as Sister Pete sits in her chair, holding her breath, because she is either extremely touched or extremely nervous that Schillinger will pull some weapon out and ruin the moment. Beecher stands and takes Vern's hand. "I'm sorry about yours too." Schillinger flinches when he says that.
Keller sits in his cell, wearing an orange jumpsuit that he shouldn't look good in but kind of does. Sister Pete walks in. Keller, surprised, greets her. Pete goes on to tell him that she doesn't know what the full story is but is pretty sure, as usual, that Keller knows everything. He feigns innocence as she continues, "I think you lied, for a greater good." She reminds him of the conversation they once had, about God choosing people. "Chris, God chose you, and he chose wisely." Aw. Beecher appears, and Pete tells them they a few minutes. Beecher and Keller hug. Beecher: "Schillinger believed the reverend, he even shook my hand." Keller says he'll serve his sentence in Massachusetts with half-assed Aryans who won't be able to lay a finger on him. Beecher looks at him and gets all schmoopy: "Why are you doing this?" "I would think that was fairly obvious." Beecher, softly: "Yeah." Keller quips about the irony of getting away with all the murders he's committed, only to serve time for confessing to the one that he didn't. Beecher leans in for one last kiss, and they hug. Keller says he'll see him. Beecher asks when. Keller: "Here…or in heaven." Beecher: "You think we'll get in?" Keller; "You and me? God wouldn't have the balls to keep us out."
Hill goes and ruins my newfound feeling of maybe needing him when he yaps about the worst stab wound being the one to the heart. I will admit that, when he said "the scar reminds you that someone made your heart beat faster," it made me a wee bit schmoopy-lite, but that's only because I watched Steel Magnolias before typing my recap, so it's not my fault. I'm just glad neither one of the boys said, "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special." Then I would have run screaming.
week: Another episode with a clever title, and I experiment with a variety of juices and vodka.