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I've been waiting so long for "New York City Serenade," and now that it's come, I find myself speechless. Let's take this thing chronologically, or at least what seems to be chronologically.
When last we left Storybrooke, or rather, when last it left us, Emma and Henry were settled in New York, with 11 or so years of false memories planted in their head, thanks to a lovely parting gift from Regina. Meanwhile, undoing The Dark Curse brought all our other characters back to their world of origin.
In "New York City Serenade," the fairy tale scenes are set from the moment the Storybrookers return to L'enchantment, a year ago. The un-curse plops them down into the middle of an Aurora/Phillip picnic. Phillip offers their hospitality to the returnees, but all Charming wants is a horse and some rations to get the back to their kingdom, at least until Snow reminds him that their palace (once home to King George) was destroyed by the curse.
Regina mentions that she magically protected Knifingham Palace, before casting the curse. Snow decides that the people will feel less alarmed if she and Regina return to Knifingham, as a united front. Regina agrees, but then ditches the party to rip out her own heart and bury it in the woods, because she cannot bear the loss of Henry. Snow talks Regina into restoring her heart, which to me, seems like it should be more difficult than it was, since said heart was already lying in the dirt.
Anyhow, the ladies are then attacked by a flying monkey. They don't recognize the creature, which I find a little disappointing, since they spent 28 years in our world, and know all the stories. Robin Hood and his band of Merry Man (minus Mulan, who has hopped a portal into NBC's Believe) save Snow and Regina. Later, when the returnees cannot access Regina's castle (someone has magically hijacked it), Robin also offers shelter and protection to them. The hijacker, by the way, is the Wicked Witch (Rebecca Mader), who probably has chocolate before dinner, any time she wants.
In other enchanted news, it looks like Belle and Neal will work together to find out what happened to Rumpelstiltskin. And of course, Neal wants to find a way back to Emma and Henry. He just hopes doing so won't require cursing an entire kingdom. Jiminy is once again a cricket and Red is photoshopped into the return sequence. Notably absent is Tinker Bell. I hope that's only temporary.
In the present, in New York City, Hook stalks Emma. She has been dating Walsh (Christopher Gorham) for eight months, who up and proposes marriage. Emma, being Emma, can't say yes right away, but she talks it over with Henry, and seems inclined to accept. Fortunately, Hook manages to break through her amnesia (thanks to the only dose of a memory potion), before Emma says yes. When Emma tries to let Walsh down easy, he turns into a flying monkey!
Emma, Hook and Henry return to an again extant Storybrooke. Since Henry still has curse amnesia, Hook watches over the sleeping lad, while Emma heads off to find her parents. In the most rewarding scene of the night, when Emma knocks, Charming opens the door. He thinks she can't remember him, and she thinks he can't remember her, but everyone remembers everyone, and it's ridiculously touching. What Charming cannot remember is the year they've spent apart. To him, to Snow, and to the rest of the residents from the enchanted realms, it seems as if they just said goodbye to Emma, yesterday. Emma wonders how they've known any time at all has passed. In answer, a very pregnant Snow White toddles into view.
There were some disappointing moments in "New York City Serenade." Most of them involve the flash backs to a year ago, in L'enchantment. I'll hit them all in the full recap, but the one which deserves special mention is how ready Snow and Charming are to accept the loss of Emma -- for the second time in their lives. I guess "I will always find you," is a two-person only pledge.
To go out on a happier note, the second most rewarding scene of the night is the NYC discussion of Neal, between Henry and Emma. Thanks to Regina's implanted memories, Henry knows Neal set up Emma to take the fall for his crime, and that he abandoned her. That was a long time coming, Show. Too long.
I'll be back with the recap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode up top, and then join us on the boards, where we're trying to find Henry's book, so we can wake the kid up, and get on with the show.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Before I begin the "New York City Serenade" recap, proper, I just have to get something off my chest. Emma never had sex with Walsh. That's why he was so hot to marry her, so soon. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. I will brook no insolence on this point, Show. La la la la. I can't hear you. La la la la. Get it. Got it? Good! Shudder. I think I just heard Eddy Kitsis and Adam Horowitz cackle. I'll get you, my pretties, and your little show too.
We open one year ago. Phillip, atop his noble steed, rides -- if not hell for leather, then at least hell for pleather -- to Aurora, no doubt. Has she fallen prey to another sleeping curse, ogres, or even Maleficent, herself? No, she's fallen prey to a cold weather picnic in a gazebo full of throw pillows. What even is that? Before they can sate Aurora's pregnant picnic cravings, thick purple smoke billows toward them. Shortly after their horses flee, the true lovers recognize the curse for what it is, and try to take shelter in the not at all sufficient, wide open gazebo of pillow piles, but then don't quite make it, not that it would have offered any protection.
When the smoke clears, Aurora and Phillip struggle to their feet to find Hook, Charming, Snow, Regina, the Dwarfs, Granny, Belle, Neal, CGRuby, standing in just about the positions they took on the Storybrooke road, when Regina undid her Dark Curse (and Pan's iteration of it).
Here's what's dumb: Ruby wasn't present at the town line, when Regina undid the curse, so why put an unreasonable facsimile of her here, now? I understand we'll see the lovely and talented Meghan Ory, in some capacity this season, but we're not morons. We know she's on that other show with Sawyer now. We already accepted the hard truth -- Ruby wasn't at Emma and Henry's goodbye, back in December 2013. Why plop her into this scene in which everyone else is standing in the same positions they took at the Storybrooke town line? Since she wasn't at the goodbye, it makes more sense to assume Ruby was somewhere else in Storybrooke when Regina undid things, and hence would land elsewhere in L'enchantment, once the undoing is done. On the other hand, Blue and Tinker Bell were at the town line (as was Archie, but I'll cut slack there and explain why, later) when Regina undid things, so why aren't they here now? Look, everyone either lands in L'enchantment, in the exact same positions in which they left Storybrooke, or they don't.
Similar silliness: The bloodstain on Charming's shirt. Yes, we get it. He appears exactly as he did right before Regina's Dark Curse transported him to Storybrooke, 28 [+ however long] years ago. The thing is, Snow certainly wasn't wearing that cape when the curse struck. She'd just given birth. Baelfire was already in our world, and most probably in the U.S., wearing 1980s American clothing when the curse struck, not that tapestry wrap. Ugh. They should all arrive home in the same clothes they were wearing when first cursed, or they should all arrive home in their American clothing. Whatever. I'll let this go and get back to the action, because I'm so glad Once Upon A Time is back!
Aurora asks Snow what happened. The Fairest of them all is understandably morose as she answers, "We're back." I don't see any reflective surface nearby, but clearly, she's gotten a gander of her godawful princess wig. The title card features the New York City skyline.
One year later, in New York City, Emma, wearing heels as tall as her little black leather dress is short, slips out of her coat as she struts into a restaurant, to meet her waiting date, Walsh (Christopher Gorham). Oh, look at her smile. Show, you have to give Emma more chances to smile. As they chitchat, I notice a funny scar on the lefthand side of Walsh's neck. What's up with that?
After dinner, when Walsh excuses himself for a moment, Hook slips into his seat. Emma calls him out for the stalker he is, and grabs her butter knife, as she lends one ear to hearing him out. Hook tries to persuade her that he's a missing piece of her life, and that her parents are in danger. Emma is sure he's a crazy person, a liar, or both. "I prefer dashing rapscallion," Hook cocks an eyebrow then offers, "Scoundrel?" Eventually, he encourages her to use her superpower. While this doesn't convince Emma, it does make her listen a little more closely. Still, much as she once told Henry, Emma explains that believing something is true does not make it real. Finally Hook slips Emma an address and tells her to check it out. If after doing so, she finds herself believing him, she can find him in Central Park, by the entrance to the zoo. "Don't do it for me, or you. Do it for your family. They need your help." We flash back to the...
Enchanted Forest. Aurora reports that the ogres have been defeated. Snow congratulates Aurora on her pregnancy. "You're glowing." Regina: "Why is she pregnant, and I'm the one who's sick?" Phillip offers the Charmings anything they need. Charming says all they'll require is horses, since they have their own kingdom and castle. Snow informs him their castle was destroyed in the curse. Hook turns to Regina. "Well played, your majesty. You laid waste to everything." And...
Sidebar. Since the curse destroyed Snow and Charming's castle (destroyed is an overstatement, since we saw Emma, Snow, Mulan, Aurora and Cora in Emma's nursery in season two) shouldn't undoing the curse undo the damage done to Snow and Charming's place, Show? I love you. You know I do, but you need to assign someone on your writing/production staff to come up with a clear set of your rules of magic. The rules don't have to be so tight that you find yourselves cornered when you need a magical solution, but you need to be consistent. I understand why you weren't consistent. You want the whole party traveling to Regina's palace. That's where dialogue comes in. The magic rules problem in this scene could have been fixed with two lines of dialogue. Regina could have said, "Since I undid the curse, your castle should be as it was, Snow," and then Aurora could have said, "I'm sorry, Snow. Our soldiers used it as a stronghold, and the ogres left it in ruins."
Anyhow, Aurora says Knifingham Palace still stands. Charming points out that belonged to Snow, before Regina took it. Regina begs to differ. "I married into it." Rather than point out that Regina had Leopold killed, Snow goes along with this. "That you did. And now we're taking it back. And you are coming with us." When Regina scoffs at the suggestion, Snow reminds her that all the returnees will be scared and in need of hope. "What better way to do that, than to return, united? You're coming with us. I know you don't like it. You'll learn to. For our good. For yours." Good form, Snow.
As the Charmings and Regina walk off, Aurora and Phillip retreat to a not-at-all more private section of the wide, open, gazebo, where Aurora reminds her husband that they'll have to tell "her" that "they" have returned. Phillip says they can't, but Aurora is afraid that if "she" ever found out they hid "them" she would take it out on Phillip and Aurora's child. "We have to trust that they can take care of themselves. It is not up to us to save them." Oh, Show. Please stop ruining my favorite fairy tale princess. We flash forward to...
New York. When Walsh returns to their table, Emma is again alone, staring at the address Hook gave her. It's not long before he proposes marriage. He tells her he couldn't wait any longer, and that's all I'm reporting, to suit my denial interpretation of the story. La la la la. I can't hear you. La la la la. Commercial.
After the break, Emma exits the restaurant, quickly, and alone. Walsh catches up and teases her about walking out on the bill, but his joke goes over like a lead balloon. Emma's nearly hyperventilating as she tries to explain that this just took her by surprise, since they've only been together eight months. Again, I can't engage in their scenes. It makes me shudder. When Emma says she's not "good at fast," Walsh tells her they can wait a year, or until they're 65 and Henry already has kids. He just wants to spend the rest of his life with Emma. She asks for time to think. Walsh says to take as much as she wants.
Back home, Emma locks the door behind her and leans against it as she takes off her gloves. It's a moment before she pushes against it with her shoulders and heads toward the living room. My oldest son, who laughs at how fast I get out of my heels and into my pajamas after a night out, decides it takes her way to long to slip off her shoes. I agree, especially considering the height of her heels. Henry's on the couch, playing a video game, when Emma comes up behind him. "Mrs. Cuse says you were quiet tonight." Well played, Show.
Henry says he wasn't quiet, so much as he was concentrating on his video game (Diablo III). He just reached level 23. Emma asks if he minds if a fifth level wizard joins him. People who know more about these things than I, say Diablo doesn't work that way. I could not actually care less about that. What I do care about is some speculation I read somewhere. I'm so sorry I forgot to note where. Someone (I think it was a forum member, not another recapper) speculated that perhaps Henry's game will take the place of his Once Upon A Time book in some way, and will help clue Henry in as to what's going on. I like this in part, because it justifies why they just spent so much time showing me a video game, and it justifies that my paragraph worth of blather about it, so here's me, crossing my fingers.
Still playing his game, Henry asks his mother, "So, what did you say?" When she doesn't answer, he turns his eyes away from the screen for a moment and adds, "...to Walsh." Emma's surprised he knew. "C'mon, mom. First date restaurant. Special night out. The writing was on the wall. [...] So, what'd you say?" When Emma doesn't answer, Henry again peels his eyes from the screen. "Poor guy." Emma: "I didn't say no." Henry: "If you didn't say yes, I stand by my 'poor guy' assessment."
Emma explains she needs time. "It's a big step, kid. We've got a good thing going here, just the two of us." The only reason I'm including all this dialogue is that I think it's important. It fills us in on their last year. Emma has been happy. She's quite content in her new life with Henry. She's not eager to change it. Poor noodle. Even though I can't wait for her memories to be restored, there's a protective part of me that wants her to pack up Henry and move, preferably to someplace landlocked, where Hook won't be able to find her.
When Emma asks Henry if he thinks Walsh is worthy of joining their little family, Henry says, "He's okay." No, Henry. He is so very not okay, and if you weren't doped up with 11 years of fake memories, you would have known that, the first time you met him. Henry's got a different issue on his mind, and it's serious enough to him that he actually pauses the game and puts down the controller. "Mom, not every guy is like my dad. Not every guy is just gonna leave you."
Emma's snicker fades to a sigh, then ends with a sneer. "He didn't just leave. He set me up to take the fall for his crime and left me in jail. He doesn't even know you exist. He doesn't deserve to." It's clear Henry and Emma have had this conversation before. I like to think Regina planted this exact wording in Emma's head. I never thought I'd say this, but bless you, Regina! Henry tells Emma that Walsh isn't like that, and besides he knows Emma likes Walsh, because he's the first guy Emma's ever dated who Henry's met. Once her boy turns his attention back to his game, Emma asks when he got so wise. Henry smiles. "Somewhere after level 16, when I became a knight." We focus on the screen. The video game knight turns to let us admire his profile. We flashback to the...
Enchanted Forest. The knight's profile is replaced by Charming's. People are making fun of his fur trim cape. My daughter hates it. I'm sorry. I sort of love it. After sheathing his sword, Charming walks out of the frame to reveal the Dwarfs who are all delighted that they're once again handsome. For my visually impaired readers, I'll note that in Storybrooke, the Dwarfs have normal, human features. In the Enchanted Forest, they have exaggerated ears and noses and are dressed in fairy tale clothing.
Jiminy Cricket, now in cricket form, flits onto Grumpy's shoulder and chirrups a message that seems to alarm Grumpy. Grumpy tells Charming that Jiminy reports that about 50 more Storybrookers landed about two miles from them. This is why I cut the show some slack earlier, where Jiminy's return positioning is concerned. Since he's again a wee cricket, I wouldn't have seen him, even if he had been in the right place. Charming's cheered by the news. He tells Grumpy and the Dwarfs to spread the word that all new arrivals should head for Knifingham Palace.
Hook is loading up a horse with supplies, when Charming finds him. He's surprised to learn Hook isn't coming to Knifingham with them. "The Enchanted Forest is your home. Mine is the Jolly Roger." Charming asks what Hook will do, if he can't find his ship. Hook says, "I'll just have to take another one, then. Won't I? That's what pirates do." Charming sighs. "Huh, and here I thought you'd gone and changed." Hook mounts his horse. "I tried the hero thing. It didn't take." Snow joins them. "So, that's it. Emma's gone and you're going to go back to being a pirate." Turning his horse, Hook says, "'Back' milady? I've always been a pirate," then rides off. Like the reluctant Hook fanboy he is, Charming's expression is wistful as he watches Hook ride off.
Neal asks Charming if it's true that the curse returned all their "stuff" to the Enchanted Forest. He wants to stop by his father's place on the way to Knifingham. Charming reminds Neal that Rumpelstiltskin is gone. Neal says, "Maybe, maybe not. And if he's not, maybe he can get me back to Emma." We cut to a...
Sidebar. Season 2 (ptooey I will speak of it, no more) really screwed over Neal. This season, the writers seem to be trying to fix what they ruined in the first place, because I no longer want to scream, "Douchefire," every time I see his mug. They're writing him as if he has a chance of overcoming those early characterization problems. In "New York City Serenade," Neal's immediate focus is on finding a way back to Emma and Henry. To me, that says he stands some chance. Personally, I'd prefer Emma to find a different happy ending, but if there's still a chance Neal is hers, I will feel better if he earns it. Thanks to this episode, it looks like he's going to try to do so.
Snow then has to ruin my mood by saying, "Neal, it's impossible. Regina was clear. The price of our return was a complete reset. No more portals. This is our realm for good. There's no way to cross over, not without another curse." Charming piles on. "We have to move on. This is our home, now." There's more about the best thing they can do for Emma and Henry is to let them be, but blah. Screw you both, Your Majesties. I mean, they're speaking the truth as far as they know it. I don't have a problem with that. I have a problem that they've so quickly accepted that they will never again see their daughter and grandson. Sure, they can take great comfort that Emma has been relieved of the burden of being the savior, and she and Henry can live a normal life, but they shouldn't be this resigned this soon. It detracts from them as characters. It makes me think less of them than I want to. Neal walks off without a word. Good for you, Neal! We flash forward to the...
Present Day. Emma's clearing the breakfast dishes when Henry asks if she has his field trip permission slip. When she pulls it out of her purse, the address Hook gave her comes out, with it. He can tell she's unnerved and asks if something is going on. When she denies it, he insists he can tell she's worried. She says she's only thinking about something, and there is a difference. When Henry asks if she's think about Walsh, Emma starts to tell the truth, but then grabs the cover Henry's just provided to her. "No, I... Yeah. I am. Can you blame me for taking 24 hours to think through making a life-altering decision?" Henry tells her she's always looking for something to be wrong. "You don't have to do that, you know. Sometimes, it's okay to accept things that are... good." Emma gives Henry a hug and a kiss, before he heads off to school. Once he's gone, she looks at the address Hook gave her (89 Wooster St., New York, NY). We cut to...
Neal's Flat. No, I don't know how his apartment hasn't been rented out in the past year, but it's possible he set up an automatic payment plan with his bank, so to me, it's not worth quibbling about. Emma breaks in, shuts the door behind her and looks around. The first item to catch her eye is the dreamcatcher hanging from the window, i.e. the only evidence season 2 ever offered us, that Emma might have mattered to Neal.
Emma takes it down and has a good look at it. "Flypaper for nightmares. Neal." She finds a stack of mail all addressed to Neal Cassidy. I can't decide if the writing on one of the letters is meant to look the same as the writing on the address that Hook gave Emma and I'm too behind to rewind, now. she finds a bloody towel that they must have used on Gold's wound. she finds a camera. On its strap is the name Henry. Picking it up, Emma says, "That's not possible!" Commercial.
Emma meets Hook in Central Park. "Why didn't you tell me that was Neal's place?" Hook says, "I think the tone of your voice answers that quite clearly. You never would have gone if I had." She wonders how Neal knows about Henry and if he's trying to get into his life. Hook reminds her he's not there about Neal. "I'm here because your parents are in trouble. Their entire kingdom has been cursed -- ripped back to Storybrooke." Poor Hook. What a shitty job this must be -- to approach someone in our world who can't remember you, someone who was raised as an orphan, and tell her that her parents and their kingdom have been mystically moved to her world. I hope someone's got a nice shot of rum ready for him, when the deed is done. That's doesn't matter right now, though, because Emma has set up Hook. When none of his answers satisfy her, and Hook insists that she drink his bottle of memory potion, Emma cuffs Hook to a nearby bench, and whistles for a couple of cops she had waiting in the wings. "This is the guy -- the one who assaulted me." Hook says, "It was a kiss!" Emma says, "There. He confessed." As one of the uniforms recites the Miranda Rights, Hook calls out to Emma that she's making a terrible mistake, but she swans off. (Sorry.)
My 15-year-old daughter is pretty sure she would have taken the potion because Hook is so cute, which alarms me, so I remind her about how Roofies are a thing. Then she says she would have taken it in the middle of the police station, so I remind her that poison is also a thing. I mean, we all know Emma did the wrong thing here, but she has no reason to do the right thing. For all she knows, Neal has hired some eccentric hit man to knock her off, so he can take their kid. We flashback to the...
Enchanted Forest. As the primary Storybrooke party makes its way to Knifingham, Belle assures Neal he'll see Emma and Henry, again. I like this a lot, because Neal is feeling the way Belle felt, when Rumpy sailed off to Neverland. Neal hopes he doesn't have to curse an entire kingdom to get back to them. Belle also thinks Rumpy might still be alive. "We never saw his knife. I think we can get it back."
Up ahead, Snow notes that Regina's castle isn't too far off. Charming reminds her it is their castle. Snow says, "That's going to take some getting used to. The last time I was there was just after my father's death, and I've always dreamed of returning. I just never imagined it would be with Regina by our sides." Grumpy comes up from behind Snow and reports that Regina is missing. We cut to the...
Woods. Snow finds Regina burying her own heart in the dirt. That the earth doesn't immediately vomit up the vile thing reminds us we're in a land with magic, powerful magic, indeed. Snow knows Regina misses Henry. Regina says, "Not as much as I did when that was still beating in my chest." Snow tells her this isn't the answer. "No matter how much pain you may feel, you can't just bury it in the woods." Regina, have you tried drinking? Snow tells her she won't feel better, she just won't feel anything. Simultaneously, Regina and I say, "That's the point."
Regina can't keep going, knowing she'll never see Henry and that he doesn't even remember who she is. Snow says, "I know exactly how you're feeling. I just said goodbye to my daughter for the second time. Henry, too. But I promise you, it will get better with [your heart]. Right now, it might be causing you pain, but I promise you, it will let you feel something else, soon enough." Yeah, listen to Snow, Regina. She's already resigned herself to never again seeing her daughter. Sorry, this is actually a pretty good scene. Snow reminds Regina that Henry always wanted her to find happiness. Regina says, "I can't be happy without him." Snow tells her to find a way. "For Henry." For a moment, the background music almost sounds like a minor key riff on "My Heart Will Go On," (You know, the Celine Dion/Titanic song), which, given the action in this scene, cracks me up more than it should. Regina retrieves her heart. I'm happy to report it's fairly blackened. Regina plunges the wicked organ back into her chest, gasps, and stifles a sob. "Now, let's get back to our castle."
Sidebar. I am loving the developments between Regina and Snow, but that's an active choice on my part. Look, Snow always gives in, somehow, where Regina is concerned. This time, though, I think she has the timing right. Regina is vulnerable and needs love. This show's mantra is that love is the most powerful magic of all. I cheered when Snow insisted that they'd go to Regina's palace together, and present a united front for the sake of their subjects. Consider Snow's earlier lines: "You're coming with us. I know you don't like it. You'll learn to, for our good, for yours." That's how you beat needy Regina into submission. You eat her lasagna. You invite her to sit with you at the party. You insist on crashing at her castle. You make her let you love her. Heaven knows Snow is the only character (other than Henry) with the natural capacity to do so. I'm glad to see she's putting her ridiculous tendency to forgive Regina to good use. Regina is vulnerable, but she's also free from her literally heartless mother's control and influence, now. It's so nice to see Snow do the "right" thing and have it also be a smart thing.
As the ladies are returning to the road, something with red eyes skitters in the bushes. When it moves, it blows Snow's hair in her eyes. Snow tells Regina there was something in the bush. Regina walks back to look, but there's nothing there, "...unless it flew away." Looking up, Snow says, "It did!" A winged creature swoops down and carries us into the commercials.
After the break, Snow tells Regina they need to find cover. Regina readies a fireball. "No. I don't run from monsters. They run from me." When she hurls the fireball at the flying monkey, it dodges it. The monkey grabs Regina and starts pulling her up in the air. Snow grabs hold of Regina's hem and pulls her back down. As the monkey loses its grip on Regina's arm, it draws blood. Regina and Snow tumble to the ground. As the monkey flies toward them again, a male voice warns, "Get down." An arrow strikes the monkey on the left side of his neck. Ahem. The monkey, screeching all the while, flies away.
Robin Hood rides over to the women and extends his hand. "Milady, you're injured." Regina says, "It's your majesty," then gets a look at this handsome stranger, lowers her gaze, and adds, "I'm fine." Robin says, "A simple 'thank you' would suffice." Regina gets her... well, she gets her Regina on, ignores his proffered hand, says they didn't ask for his help, and struggles to her feet. Snow takes Robin's hand and says she's grateful for the assistance. He introduces himself as "...Robin of Locksley," and nodding back toward his friends, adds, "And these are a few of my merry men." He's pleased to finally meet Snow, since, "...there was a time when our faces graced wanted posters side-by-side." Snow smiles at him.
Little John adds, "If you're really Snow White, why are you with her?" Regina takes umbrage with his wording and warns him to show some respect, "...or at least some restraint at the buffet." Clearly, there were no Dale Carnegie books in the Storybrooke Library. Robin says, "You'll have to excuse little John, but before you cursed this land, we spent many a day running from your black knights." Regina is sure they deserved it. She changes the subject and asks, "What the hell was that thing?" Regina, in all your time in Storybrooke, in all your 11 years as a mother, did you never once catch a rerun of The Wizard of Oz on TV? It's an annual event. As they head off to warn the rest of their party, we flash forward to...
New York City. Emma and Henry are walking down the street. He knows she wants to talk to him about Walsh because she bought him candy at the drugstore. By the blue wrapper, I'd say it's another Apollo Bar. Emma admits that maybe her past with Neal has prevented her from living her life, now. She wonders if it is time for them to look forward. Henry knows this means she's going to marry Walsh. Emma's taken aback that he's jumped to that conclusion, but her silly grin makes it clear it's the right one. Henry asks if she'll tell Walsh at dinner, tonight. Emma says they're not having dinner, tonight. Henry: "I might have sent him a text from your phone, this morning. He's coming over at 8:00, and I arranged a sleepover at Avery's, so the two of you could be alone. It's okay, Mom. If your gut's telling you to marry him, trust it." By now, they've reached the security gate outside their building. Emma says she forget to pick up something. She takes a small paper bag out of a larger plastic shopping bag, and hands the latter to Henry. "Go see if you can beat level 24. I'll meet you up there."
Once Henry is inside, Emma opens the small paper bag from Halpert's Drug Store. Inside it is a photo envelope. As she catches sight of the pictures, Emma furrows her brow. We cut to the exterior of the NYPD 35th Precinct. Hook is just leaving the building. He snaps on his prosthetic hand and looks up at the sky, until he hears Emma call out, "Hey, we need to talk." Hook smiles as he approaches her. "Ah, Swan. I knew you wouldn't let me rot in that cage. I've been in my fair share of brigs, but none as barbaric as that. They force-fed me something called bologna."
Emma ignores his babble and wants to know what the hell is up with these photographs. We see the first one. It's one featuring her seated to Henry, under a sign that reads Storybrooke. I guess it's supposed to be at Granny's diner. I can't picture a small round table like that in my head, though. That could just be my Swiss Cheese brain. Speaking of, Emma says, "We never lived in a town called Storybrooke. We never took a flight from Boston to New York. We never did any of this." Hook says, "So you believe me, then." Not yet, Killian. Emma doesn't do "fast." She thinks he could have had the pictures photoshopped, which makes no sense to me, since she's the one that brought in the film (or memory card, I'm thinking that camera uses film) to the drug store to be printed out. The term photoshopped makes no sense to Hook, because he's from the Enchanted Forest, so Emma clarifies that she means he could have had them faked. I'm still not seeing how, since she brought the film (or memory card) in.
Hook says, If you think these are forgeries, then why'd you spring me from the brig? Because as much as you deny it, you know something's wrong. Deep down, you know I'm right." Emma thinks it is impossible that she could forget all this. Hook promises her there's an explanation that will make sense, as soon as she drinks his memory potion. Emma is worried that if Hook is telling the truth, she'll have to give up her current life. He insists it's all based on lies. Emma says, "It's real, and it's pretty good. I have Henry, a job, a guy I love." Hook flinches at that last bit. Emma, don't forget the impossibly huge apartment, on a bail bond person's income!
Once Hook catches his breath, he says, "Perhaps there's a man that you love in the life that you've lost." The pain in his eyes does not escape Emma. Hook says, "Regardless, if you want to find the truth, drink up. Do you really want to live a life of lies? You know this isn't right. Trust your gut, Swan." Aw, that's just what Henry told her. "It will tell you what to do." Emma, who's a little slower than I, says, "Henry always says that." Hook tells her, "Then, if you won't listen to me, then listen to your boy."
Emma finally takes the blue bottle from Hook, downs it like a shot, then closes her eyes. She's physically rocked backward as her real memories rush her mind. She lights the candle on her 28th birthday cupcake. Henry. Welcome to Storybrooke. Regina at the door of the Mayoral Manse. Dragon. Henry coming back to life. Magic coming to town. David and Mary Margaret. The Chintz Monster. Dreamcatcher. Neal falling through the portal. Hook, Charming, and Snow at the town line. Regina casting the Undo-Curse. Whew.
When the flood subsides, Emma looks her stalker in the eyes. "Hook." He cocks his eyebrows and tilts his head. "Did you miss me?" Emma can't respond. Commercial.
A year ago, in the Enchanted Forest, as the party makes its way toward Knifingham, Neal catches up with Robin, as does Belle. Um, I don't want the Rumbelle fans to hate me, but I could 'ship me some Bellefire. Sorry. Regina has been looking over her shoulder at Robin. She asks Snow what she thinks of, "...our new friend? Can we trust him? He is a thief." So, Regina's the morality police, now? Snow tells her, "Think of it from his perspective. How do you think he looks at you?" Oh, like say, Hitler? Regina takes the point though. Snow grins and looks at Regina like you would a single best friend and says, "He's kind of cute, huh?" Regina: "He smells like forest." For a second, in my head, Graham's name wasn't Graham, but rather Forest (I don't know, either it's a huntsman thing, or Regina screwed with my memories during the mid-season finale, too). Finally I realize she means he smells like the woods, and think that's a pretty nice smell.
Knifingham is finally in view. Regina turns onto the road that leads to the palace. The paving and ground have been disturbed in a way that makes it clear there's some sort of magical barrier, even though the palace is quite a bit off in the distance. Regina approaches it and holds out her hand. A green, magical dome appears then fades. It's a protection spell that encircles the entire place. Charming assumes she did it, and tells her to undo it. Regina says this magic isn't hers. Someone hijacked it. She says she doesn't know who, "...but I'm gonna find out whoever's eating my porridge. Nobody sits in my chair. Nobody takes our castle." She's been as good about this "our castle" stuff as she was about the "our son" business with Emma, back on Neverland. I mean that. Regina wants to rush in and reclaim the castle, but Charming and Snow talk her down. Robin offers food, shelter, and a thick canopy cover in Sherwood Forest, until the royals can figure out what do . Charming: "Do you have weapons?" Robin: "We're lousy with them." Regina says, "Fine, lead the way, but we're coming back, and whoever did this is going to suffer." Snow says, "Regina, it's our home. We'll make it safe, again." We flash forward to...
Emma's Apartment. Hook catches Emma up on a little of what she's missed. "Snow and the Queen settled their differences. Frankly, I was bored. I had a life to get back to... a pirate's life." Emma says, "Glad to see you haven't changed," as she pours them both what I'm deciding is rum, because I can't see the label. Hook's voice is low and serious as he says, "There wasn't anything for me in the Enchanted Forest. Why would I stay?" He raises his glass in her direction. Emma digests the meaning of his words, then clinks his glass with hers and drinks. Hook says, "All was well, until I got a message -- a message saying that there was a new curse, and that everyone had been returned to Storybrooke. The message told me that the only hope was you."
Emma gives the tiniest nod, cocks her left eyebrow and says, "You came all the way back here, to save my family?" Hook says, "I came back to save you." Emma shakes her head and averts her eyes. "Who could have done this?" Hook offers it was someone powerful enough to reach into this world. Emma wants something more specific. He says, "Alas. You're the savior, not me." That sets Emma off, a little. "You know what I was, yesterday? A mother -- 'til you showed up and started poking holes in everything I thought was real. When I drank that potion, it was like waking up from a dream -- a really good dream." Hook reminds her she has what most matters -- her son. Emma has to figure out how to explain it all to him. Hook: "Alas. I could only scavenge together enough for one dose of memory potion."
Their conversation is interrupted by the intercom's buzz. Emma tells Hook it's Walsh. "Henry invited him." Hook offers to get rid of him, but Emma declines. "My memories might not be real, but he is, and so are the eight months we spent together." Hook's gaze flicks from Emma's averted eyes to the floor. When she says, "I owe him an explanation," Hook wonders what she'll tell him. Emma doesn't know, "But I care about him too much to drag him into all this. Wait here." When she grabs her coat and heads toward the door, Hook grabs the bottle with a vengeance.
Emma brings Walsh up to the roof. He assumes this is a romantic gesture, but Emma quickly confesses she can't marry him. He figures it's too soon, so Emma corrects him. "I need to go home and take care of some things." He reminds her she told him she was an orphan, and that this is her home. Emma assures him she wasn't lying. "There's a part of my life that I've been blocking out, and I think it would be impossible for you to understand." Plus, she has a leather-clad pirate, in reserve. And hell, I'd rather see Emma with Neal than Walsh, and that's before I knew who Walsh really was.
Walsh wants to know what changed overnight. Emma admits someone from her past showed up. Walsh asks if it was Henry's father or another ex. Emma lies says it's nothing like that. "He's more like a ghost." She assures him it kills her to make this choice. He begs her to stay, but she says she can't. Walsh nods angrily, then says, "I wish you hadn't drank that potion." I yell "drunk that potion," thereby dooming myself and my lovely and talented editor to miss a bunch of doozies in this recap.
While Emma is all what? Walsh starts throwing around chairs, then says, "It's too bad. I actually kind of liked you." Emma asks, "Who are you?" Walsh's eyes glow red. He rushes at Emma. She ducks. He sails over her and off the roof. The top of the Empire State Building glows emerald green. Emma looks over the edge of the roof to the street below. Seeing a screeching, winged monkey, flying right at her, she sighs, "Really?" and looks around for something to use as a weapon. When the monkey lands on the roof, Emma grabs a nearby pipe at starts whacking at him. Remember how much fun I made of the Chintz Monster (the wraith from the season 2 premiere)? Well, this monkey is the opposite of that. It is legitimately creepy, terrifying, really. I don't know how they achieved this. I don't know if it's part CGI and part puppetry/costume, but it's really well done. Anyhow, Emma beats back the beast until it again goes over the side of the roof. It hits the sidewalk and poofs in a puff of smoke, but surely it can't be that easy to kill.
Hook burst through the door. "Swan? What the blazes was that?" Emma says, "A reminder that I was never safe, that what I wanted, what I thought I could have was not in the cards for the Savior." As Hook lets the weight of her words sink in, she adds, "We leave in the morning." Poor Emma. Poor Hook. Poor everyone. Commercial.
The morning, Henry's home from his sleepover in time for breakfast. After he accuses her of "hurting" the eggs (she is distracted and taking her frustration out of them; it's a fair cop), Emma asks Henry if he believes in magic. Henry says, "Of course, and the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny. If it gets me a present, I believe." He then asks, "You're not sure you made the right decision, are you?" Emma says, "I just didn't feel like pancakes." Henry clarifies: "About Walsh." Emma laughs. "Oh, I made the right decision. I'm certain. It's gonna be you and me, kid, for a little while." When she serves him his eggs, Henry tells her, "As long as you're happy." He takes one or two bites of his eggs, but then says he has to run, or he's going to be late for school. Wait, so he slept over a friend's house on a school night, and came home in the morning? What kind of crack logic is that? I hope Avery just lives down on the second floor, because otherwise, I can't make sense of it. Oh my heart, just typing that sentence made me realize that Henry's going to be leaving the first normal (and normally aging) friends he's ever made. Poor Henry, too!
Emma tells him they won't be going to school, today. She's taken on a new case, in Maine. It might take a while to solve, but she thinks they should go. "It would be an adventure." Henry's all for that, which is good, because she's already packed and it's time to go. This time, when there's a knock on the door and Henry asks if they're expecting someone, Emma says, "Yeah." She opens the door to find Hook leaning against the hallway wall. He pushes off it and smiles as he swaggers into her apartment. "Are you ready, Swan?"
Emma rushes to get ahead of him so she can introduce "Killian" to Henry. She explains she's helping him with his case. Eyeing Hook, Henry asks if he skipped bail. Hook chuckles. "Oh, he's still a little spitfire." Henry asks, "Still?" Emma explains that he isn't a perp. He's her client. Henry asks, "Why are you dressed like that?" Hook's indulgent smile is instantly replaced with an insulted frown. "Why are you dressed like that?" Emma calms down her boys with an, "All right. All right," then turns to Hook. "Just make yourself useful, Killian, and get our bags. Henry, lend him a hand." Emma hands Henry his coat and mutters that she just needs one last thing.
Opening her closet, she flips through her coats until she finds it -- the red leather jacket of saviordom. I sure hope she put away the juice, and threw the eggs down the disposal, put the dishes in the dishwasher and turned it on, or that place is going to be overrun with varmints. Not that I ever want Emma to return there. I'm just thinking of the other residents. Finally, we cut to...
Storybrooke. There's no place like home. Sigh. Emma drives past the library. The clock reads 8:15. I'm not sure why it took them that long (from before school time 'til 8:15 at night) to make the drive, but it's only right that it did. When she parks in front of the Modern Fashions Store, Emma and Hook get out of the car. Henry is asleep in the backseat. Emma looks around in wonder. "It's really back. I'm really back." Hook asks if it's a quaint and homey as she remembers. Emma says, "As cursed as I remember." He takes his hook out of his pocket and snaps it on, and flicks her hair off her shoulders. "That's more like it, isn't it, Swan?" Emma asks how he's going to explain that to Henry. Hook figures that's her concern, and, "...perhaps it will jog his memory." Or give him nightmares! Emma agrees with me. Emma says that last time, the curse wiped everyone's memories. She wonders what it did this time. Hook says, "We don't know what it did." You got a mouse in your pocket, Hook? Who did you get your message from anyhow? He's not listening to me, because he's all Emma Emma Emma, and she's blathering about finding out. She tells Hook to stay here and watch Henry. She's going to talk to her parents.
We cut to Mary Margaret's hovel door. Emma knocks. When Charming answers, he gasps and takes a step back. Emma says, "Hi," and then, "Don't close the door. I -- I. My name is..." Charming says, "Emma!" As Emma says, "David?" he takes her in his arms and gives her a big, breathless hug. Him: "You remember?" Her: "You remember!" David says, "Of course. What are you doing here? How..." Emma explains that Hook found her and brought her there. "He said you were cursed." David says, "Yeah, we're back, or we never left, or... well, we don't know, but we're trapped again." Emma says, "But you know who you are." David: "Emma, this curse -- we don't know who did it or why. All we know is that our last year -- it's been wiped away? [...] All we remember is saying goodbye to you. It feels like yesterday."
Emma takes this all in, then asks, "But if you can't remember, how do you know that it's been a..." She's interrupted by Snow, who is coming down from the loft. "Emma?" Snow rushes to her daughter and throws her arms around her. When they part, Charming puts his arm around his wife and looks down at her. "As you can see, a lot's happened." We pan down to Snow's cute baby bump. She says, "Yeah, we just don't know what. The whole year is gone." Emma asks, "Who the hell would have done this?" We flash back to...
Knifingham Palace. Zelena, the Wicked Witch of the West asks her flying monkey if he got what she needs. He holds up his claws. Zelena says, "That's her blood? The Queen's?" The monkey screeches in what must be the affirmative. She picks up a vial that already contains some clear fluid. The monkey holds a claw over the opening and lets the blood drip into the vial. Zelena caps it as she says, "No, now I shall get my revenge." When the monkey claps, she adds, "Of course I will. The Queen may be evil, but I'm wicked." She shakes the bottle to mix her potion, then turns to admire herself in the mirror, and says, "And wicked always wins."
I've read a lot of pity for Hook in this episode, and I get it. What I don't get is the anger at Emma for her reaction. Hook has been able to think about her for a year. Emma hasn't been able to think of him, or anyone else (save Henry) from her life, for the past year. Hook has had some worry and sure, his feelings are probably a bit bruised. Emma just gave up her ideal life. I can't imagine Hook expected her to fall into his arms. I'm sure he hoped she would, but I also think he'd understand how disconcerting everything is for her. I don't think Emma was terrible to him. She's just upset, not to mention she's worried about her parents, and about what this is going to do to Henry.
Hook is one of the few characters (along with Neal, Regina, Pinocchio, and Jefferson) on the show who isn't a "We are both," character. Emma used to be one, but she has 11 years of false memories that now feel as real to her as her real memories. She's been "awake" for less than a day. That's an awful lot to sort through. Plus, she never has been one for romance, when there's trouble afoot. Meanwhile, Hook has had a singular (it seems) focus for the past year. That's very in-character for him, if we consider how long he carried a torch for Milah, after her death. Both Hook and Emma's reactions in this episode were pitch perfect, for me.
I'll be back with coverage of "Witch Hunt." In the meantime, please grade the episode up top, and then join us on the boards, where we're trying to find Henry's book, so we can wake the kid up, and get on with the show.