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In the Enchanted Past, Belle is hanging at the pub with Dreamy, when she notices the locals gearing up to hunt Kristi Yamaguchi. All right, their prey isn't Kristi Yamaguchi, but I watched the Golden Globes first (no, not Belle's cleavage in this episode -- the foreign press awards), so I'm really tired (not too mention bitter on Benedict Cumberbatch's behalf).
When the writers choose mythical creatures with names like Yaoguai, I suspect they're hoping recappers everywhere will botch the spelling, so big...props to the Props Department for creating that lovely "REWARD" poster, which prominently features the English spelling. I'll stop picking on you for your misspelling of Rumpelstiltskin on the Dark One's dagger. Maybe. Okay, I probably won't, but in this moment, I mean to. And thus was paved my road to Hell.
Anyhow, with some encouragement from Dreamy (Grumpy/Leroy), Belle decides to join the otherwise all-male hunting party. If that seems like a spectacularly bad idea, that's only because it is. Belle and the other hunters take a wagon from the Enchanted Kingdom's pub to neighboring Enchanted Possibly-China, which is just about 20 minutes outside of town. The problem is, one of the boorish hunters kicks Belle of the wagon, about 10 minutes outside of town -- but only after she misleads him as to the Yamaguchi's whereabouts. Oh my, I am tired. I just tried to spell that as wearabouts. Yikes.
Being smart, resourceful, and bookish, Belle has no trouble at all tracking the Yamaguchi. Unarmed (save a small bag of Fairy Dust she received from Dreamy) Belle has no clue how to combat the fiery-headed beast. What's worse -- she gets in Mulan's way, and exposes herself to the yawning black hole where Mulan's personality ought to be. Still, since Belle can love Rumpy, she can connect with pretty much anyone or anything.
After Mulan saves Belle from another run-in with the hunters, but is injured in the process, she deigns to invite Belle to join her. Belle can track the Yamaguchi and Mulan will slay it. When Mulan's condition worsens, Belle volunteers to slay the beast on her own. After she extinguishes its flames with water, the beast appears more pathetic than fierce, which we know is Belle's bullet-proof kink. She sprinkles the Yamaguchi with Fairy Dust and he is restored to his original form -- Prince Phillip.
Belle brings Phillip to the ailing Mulan and asks him to see to the warrior's medical care. Mulan is instantly smitten with the handsome prince, so I hope the local doctor has a cure for love sickness, provided it is one which will leave her newly emerging personality intact.
On her own again, Belle pauses and looks down at the town below. As soon as she vows to return to Rumpy, Regina and her guard appear and capture our spunky girl. As Regina locks Belle in her paddy wagon... Is that an offensive term? Does it matter that I'm a Celt? Have I asked these questions before? Did I mention I'm up way past my bedtime? Anyhow, as Regina locks Belle in her um... jail-cell type wagon thing, she tells her captive that it's pretty much for her own good, and I sort of agree, but more on that in the full recap. Right now, it's time to flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Present. The townies bury and mourn the poor bugger they believe is Archie Hopper/Jiminy Cricket. Geppetto gives Pongo to Emma, because he knows Henry loves the pooch. Speaking of Henry, the poor little guy is having a particularly hard time with "Archie's" death. He's even turning down mom-approved Pop-Tarts. If one of my kids did that, I'd whip them off to the pediatrician before you could say, "It's poppin' fresh," which I now realize is a Pillsbury slogan, not a Pop-Tart slogan, but I'm using it anyhow.
Snow suggests that the family go house hunting, because her hovel is lacking in both space and, as we all learned the hard way, last week -- privacy. Charming's not high on the idea. Like many before him, he doesn't want to die in Maine. Despite the fact that their kingdom is in ruins, ogres have the run of the place, and Cora terrorizes their realm, Charming wants to go home. Snow would prefer to start fresh. Is there trouble in paradise? Once she knows it is safe to do so, perhaps Snow should take her beloved out to I-95, show him a "Maine: The Way Life Should Be" sign, and possibly bash his head against it, until he proves he's had some sense knocked into him.
Rumpy takes Smee out to the town line. He drips some potion on Smee's trademark red cap, puts it back on the would-be pirate's head and shoves him over the line. Smee can still remember who he is, and who Rumpy is. The potion works! Rumpy can now set out in search of Bae.
Rumpy explains the potion to Belle. If you sprinkle it on a person's prized possession, that possession becomes a sort of talisman that protects the bearer from town line amnesia. When Belle heads off to the library, Hook ambushes her, but our resourceful girl secures herself in the elevator and calls Rumpy. By the time he gets to the library, Hook is gone, but Belle is safe. When they return to the shop, they find it has been ransacked. And worse? Baelfire's cloak is missing -- the very cloak Rumpy was going to enchant, to ensure safe passage out of town.
While Rumpy harasses Smee (and eventually turns him into his true spirit animal -- a rat) Belle, armed with the gun Rumpy gave her for self-protection (like that doesn't backfire as often as not) starts her own investigation. After finding a piece of rope tied in a nautical knot, she realizes Hook must have come to Storybrooke on his ship. Fun fact: using a book, Belle identifies the knot as one called "The Monkey's Fist," and I can't help but think of The Monkey's Paw, which could be the moral of this entire series.
Belle finds the ship, even though it is invisible, because she's Belle. She frees Archie and sends him to find Rumpy. She is searching for Bae's cloak, when Hook finds her. Rumpy arrives in time and beats the stuffing out of Hook. Belle pleads for the pirate's life. Rumpy struggles with himself, but ultimately acquiesces to Belle. He leaves Hook with a stern warning to get out of Dodge. Rumpy manages to retrieve the cloak, but alas, he leaves behind Chekhov's gun.
Belle accompanies Rumpy to the town line. I'll hit the stupidity of this in the full recap. She holds Bae's cloak as Rumpy sprinkles it with the memory potion. After he steps over the line but can still remember Belle (and everything else) they lean in for a kiss, but Hook arrives and shoots Belle. She falls across the town line and into Rumpy's arms. The amnesia spell washes over her. Rumpy calls out her name, but Belle cries, "Who is Belle?" Rumpy looks down in horror at the blood on his hands. Enjoy your metaphor. Still brandishing the weapon, Hook assures Rumpy that Belle will live. "She'll just have no idea who you are."
On his knees at Belle's side, Rumpy weeps as he looks up at Hook. "What you've done cannot be undone." Hook shouts that now Rumpy finally knows how it feels, then tempts the "crocodile" into doing his worst. Saying he intends to, Rumpy raises his hand and conjures up a fireball. Before he can hurl it at Hook, a car comes speeding toward them. Rumpy dives on Belle and rolls her out of harm's way. The car crashes right into Hook and sends him sailing in the air. He lands on the roof, then slides off into a ditch. The car careens out of control and crashes into a tree. Thunder rumbles. Lightning flashes. Through the rain, we close in on the car's Pennsylvania license plate which reads 2KFL 138. Have at it, internet detectives. If you're still battle-scarred by THE numbers on Lost and have vowed never again to decode things like license plates, send me your (unspoiled only, please) speculation about this new outsider who has come to town. You can find me on Twitter.
Unlike the mean writers, I'll leave you on a happier note. Emma and Henry are hanging at the hovel when there's a knock on the door. Pongo barks and then whimpers. When Emma opens the door, she is shocked to find Archie. He explains Cora kidnapped him. Henry suggests they let Regina know. Emma agrees, but says, "Something tells me that, either way, we're going to pay the price." Dun dun dun.
I'll be back with the full recap, later this week. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we're hoping Kristi Yamaguchi isn't in the mood to do a vanity Google.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Storybrooke. Night. Rumpy drives Smee out to the town line. Smee's not riding shotgun in the Caddy, though; he's bound and gagged in the trunk of the car. I really wish we Americans used boot, the way the Brits do. I'd do it here, but I suspect I already use too many Briticisms. I'm always afraid my recaps sound affected, like when when Madonna forgot she was born in Michigan. Anyhow, enough about me and Madge. Once Smee is out on the road, Rumpy removes his prisoner's gag. Smee begs not to be shoved over the border. Oh great, now I have Madonna's "Borderline" running through my head. Let's start a new paragraph so I can clear my head.
Rumpy chides Smee for being more than willing to steal Belle's memories from her, then canes him, causing the pirate to fall to the ground. Swiping Smee's trademark red knit cap, Rumpy remarks that Smee has had it for as long as he can remember. It's important to Smee because his grandmother made it for him; it's his good luck charm. Satisfied with his answer, Rumpy douses the hat with a potion and says the hat's importance to Smee is his only chance.
When Rumpy puts the hat back on Smee, Smee wonders what "only chance" Rumpy is talking about. Rumpy clears up his victim's confusion by pushing him over the town line. Whatever the potion is, it works because Smee remembers who he is, and remembers the Dark One as well. Pronouncing the experiment a success, Rumpy grabs Smee and orders him to go. As Smee runs down the dark road, Rumpy says to no one in particular, "I have a trip to plan." How great is Robert Carlyle, that he can make this character so very sympathetic, even when he's being a callous bastard? I know he doesn't do it alone. He's working with great material, but like Lana Parrilla, Carlyle elevates the strong characterization given him by the Once writers. Title card.
Day. Cemetery. Snow eulogizes her friend Archie and loyal subject Jiminy, whose headstone reads, "Archibald Hopper Friend & Conscience." At first, I find it curious that they're burying him under his Storybrooke name, but later, after thinking on it (and seeing the end of this episode) I suppose it's wise of the Storybrookers to avoid leaving public records of their original identities -- especially those literally carved in stone. Only a small crowd is gathered graveside. There's Snow, Charming, Emma and Henry, who is holding Pongo's leash. Pongo is crying, which would break my heart, except it's fairly clear it's only a sound effect, since the dog is relaxed and looking around. Granny and Red are there too, as are Blue, Belle and the Dwarfs (possibly minus Sneezy). And finally, there's Marco/Geppetto.
On the boards, someone mentioned finding it was curious that Snow is speaking, rather than Geppetto. I don't. She's their monarch. They don't have a clergy person present. Jiminy was part of her inner-circle back in L'enchantement. I think these characters would see Snow's speech as a final honor for the dearly departed. Besides, we didn't see a wake or a funeral. Perhaps Geppetto has already publicly mourned his friend. And you know, I'm thinking Geppetto might be a little senile because he's scarcely mentioned his seems-to-be-missing son all season.
When Snow is done speaking, Geppetto takes Archie's umbrella and plants it in the ground in front of the head stone. Since this is "Archie's" internment (not just some graveside memorial done some time after the death) what's truly curious to me is that there is a headstone ready so soon. Perhaps someone magicked it up because we waited forever for my father's (and it only came after the wrong guy's stone was laid on dad's grave). Kneeling by the casket, Geppetto's voice breaks as he says, "I miss you so much my friend, but at least you are in a better place." This line is the perfect segue to...
Hook's ship. Still tied up in the hold, Archie (who, remember, never was killed) is begging for mercy, but Hook shushes him and asks the location of the Dark One's dagger. Archie claims to know nothing of the dagger. Hook considers his face and then decides he's telling the truth, so he asks Archie if Rumpy has any other weaknesses. When Archie won't come clean, Hook presses his hook down on Archie's forehead. "Very well. I've always wanted to dissect a cricket." Archie pleads with Hook to wait. Hook smiles. "That's more like it. Now tell me, Cricket. What is his weakness?" We cut to...
Gold's shop. Belle hustles in and Rumpy informs her he can now cross the town line. If he pours his potion onto the object he holds most dear, the object will become a talisman which will allow him to cross the line, yet still retain his memories. When Belle asks Rumpy what object he'll enchant, I expect him to take out the chipped cup (and wonder if a non-porous object will work), but instead, he opens his safe to reveal Baelfire's shawl.
Belle would like to come with Rumpy, but he only has enough potion for one object. The Contrivance Fairy swoops in to explain. "No, he can't make any more potion because if he does it will spoil this episode's tragic end. You're welcome." Belle has been locked up in a mental ward for 28 years, so I think it's too bad that instead of this, "I only have enough potion..." nonsense, they didn't tease this out another way. I mean, why would she have any idea where her most prized possession could be? They might have to go to Mo's house. Rumpy wouldn't want the delay. Belle seems not to be reconnecting with her dad. Oh well. I shouldn't dwell so much on this, I suppose, because Rumpy then explains that this is his journey and something he needs to do alone. Actually, that's perfect. They could have left out the nonsense and had that be his only answer. Belle understands, and the two embrace. We flash back to...
L'enchantement. Pub. As Belle swills some suds, she listens to a group of nearby men. One is going on about a fearsome beast ravaging a faraway kingdom. "Its eyes burn with fire. They call it the Yaoguai." Well that's all very well and good for them, but I'm never going to remember that spelling, so as it was known in the recaplet, it shall be known in the recap: the Yamaguchi. (Sorry, Kristi.)
Belle watches with interest as the speaker tries to recruit a hunting party. She's smiling to herself when a familiar voice asks her if she's looking for an adventure. It's Grumpy, but back when he was still happy (although not Happy) and was called Dreamy. Dreamy says that thanks to her advice, he and Nova plan to run away together.
Since Belle encouraged Dreamy to pursue his dream, he returns the favor and suggests she sign up for the hunting party. Belle admits she's always dreamt of heroics, but suspects she's safer remaining with her books. Now, I'm not sure where she's living or where she got books, since she left Rumpy's with nothing but the frock on her back and she doesn't seem to have returned to her Father's fiefdom or whatever that was. She does have a terrific leather satchel though, and once Dreamy convinces her to join the hunting party, she stows her book in it, thanks Dreamy and starts to leave.
Dreamy calls Belle back and gives her a bag of magical fairy dust. Because of Rumpy, Belle is wary of all magic. Dreamy tells her she's only seen what dark magic does. "Fairies use this for good. Now go be a hero." I'm glad the show has finally "gone there" where magic is concerned. Rumpy's tagline is pretty much, "Magic always comes with a price," and we see that in living color in both his arc and Regina's. In "The Cricket Game," when Emma decides to use magic with the dreamcatcher, someone either says or implies that it's risky. I really wanted to balk at that at the time because despite what Rumpy always says, we have seen good magic at work in L'enchantement, too. I'd like there to exist the possibility that not all magic comes with a price. I would imagine it would have to be the right magic, being wielded by the right person, in the right circumstances, and for the right reasons, but since Emma is a product of true love, which we're told is the most powerful magic of all, and since she was able to repel Cora with her inner strength, I don't want it to all be bad and harmful. I reserve the right to change my mind on this though.
Storybrooke. Day. The library's tower clock reads 12:05. As the camera pans down the structure, we see a purple banner reading "STORYBROOKE FREE PUBLIC LIBRARY OPENING SOON." The street number of the library, by the by, is 3551. Here comes Belle, sashaying down the street in her adorably kicky skirt. When she enters the library, she immediately sets to work reshelving books. I know they have to give her something to do, but since the library has probably always been closed, it seems silly to me that after however long it's been since Rumpy got her access to it, that the books haven't yet been reshelved. I suspect I took too many critical pills today because I am even annoying myself, so I'll just move on.
As Belle is reshelving books, she spots a man in the stacks, but since she doesn't recognize him at first, she just says, "Sorry, the library's not open, yet." Hook tells her he's not there for the books. Recognizing him as the man who broke into her cell at Regina's palace, Belle runs. While Hook gets between Belle and the door, he makes the mistake of allowing the book cart to get between him and Belle. Belle's voice is shaky as she says, "You wanted to kill Rumplestiltskin [sic]." Hook allows that he still does, but says right now, he'll settle for Belle.
Belle pushes the book cart over onto Hook. When he's knocked down, she runs for the elevator and secures herself inside. As Hook bangs on the door, Belle calls Rumpy and tells him someone has broken into the library and wants to kill her. The reception is spotty, so Rumpy doesn't quite get everything she's saying. I'm not sure if he hears her tell him her assailant is a one-handed pirate, but at least he knows she's in trouble. I'm not particularly rooting for the Rumpy/Belle romance, but I am glad she has someone looking out for her. While she is quite adventurous and brave, she's a bit foolhardy, as we soon shall see. Commercial.
Enchanted Past. Day. Wearing a terrific (if a bit cleavage-y) hunting outfit, Belle is sitting in the back of the hunting party's wagon as it makes its way along the road. When a male hunter leans over her shoulder to check out her rack, he pretends like he cares about what she's doing and asks what she's holding. Belle's smile is wry. "A book. I trust you've seen one before." Oh Belle, you're such a trusting woman. Blowhard mocks Belle for expecting to defeat the fiercest creature in the land with a book. The other hunters laugh about her perhaps boring it to death.
When Belle explains that the book will help her learn how to defeat the Yamaguchi, I wonder if it was written by Tonya Harding (yes, I know, Kerrigan not Yamaguchi, just go with it), Blowhard grabs the book. Since it's not written in Moron, he thinks the book is full of scribbles. Belle says she knows how to translate it, but then tries to back off from the claim. Blowhard blows harder and orders her to share the information she's gleaned from the book. Once Belle says they'll find the Yamaguchi by the lake, Blowhard kicks her off the wagon. Belle asks the party to wait, but Blowhard can only be bothered to throw her the book. Did that bastard keep that gorgeous satchel? As the wagon rounds the bend in the road, Belle smiles and tells them to enjoy the lake, then opens her book and begins to read. "The Yaoguai prefers mountain habitats to all others..." We cut to...
Yamaguchi Lair. Exterior. Belle is still reading aloud to herself about the Yamaguchi, which seems to be nocturnal. She closes her book, looks toward the lair and whispers, "Please be asleep." Belle creeps forward and cringes when she steps on a twig, but she doesn't nearly as hard or long as the audience does when we realize our smart girl is hunting a fierce beast armed with little more than a tiny dagger.
The beat roars. Belle runs for cover. The Yamaguchi emerges from its lair. It's head is surrounded by flame. Belle stumbles. The Yamaguchi is hot on her trail. Up on the hill, Mulan takes aim and fires an arrow at the Yamaguchi. She misses but does startle away the beast and helps Belle to her feet.
This is one of the first times I'm glad to see Mulan, but that doesn't last long. When Belle is effusive in her gratitude to Mulan, Mulan remains gruff and rude. "You ruined my hunt. It took me weeks to track the Yaoguai here." Belle picks up her book and says it only took her a day. Mulan assumes Belle has luck on her side, but Belle gives credit to her beloved book, and offers to help Mulan find the beast again. Mulan sneers because that what she does best. "You've done enough damage already. If you really want to help, stay out of my way." Still, Belle looks more intrigued than offended as she watches Mulan stalk off through the forest. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke Library. Belle is still hiding in the elevator when Rumpy finds her. She rushes into his arms and Rumpy assures her she now has nothing to fear. We cut to...
Snow's Hovel. Henry is isolating on Snow's bed. Emma brings him a Pop-Tart, but Henry refuses. In the recaplet, I noted that if one of my kids refused a mom-approved Pop-Tart, I'd whip them off to the doctor's office, which isn't much of an exaggeration but someone, somewhere (maybe on our boards) noted that Henry has good reason to avoid any kind of tart. Well played, poster. Well played.
Really, what's going on here is that Henry is depressed. Emma knows this but leaves the goodie to her boy and returns to the mourners. As Snow tries to encourage Emma, Grumpy ask the ladies when they can return to the Enchanted Forest and their homes. Snow is surprised, and Emma points out how hard they fought to return to Storybrooke. Grumpy says that considering what "Regina" did to "Archie," Storybrooke isn't as safe as they thought. In order to set up week's episode, he notes that the curse is broken. "There's a whole world full of people beyond the town line who don't know who or what we are. Ever think of what would happen if one of them were to pay us a visit?" Red agrees. She's worried about an outsider seeing magic (or seeing her transform into a wolf). Arms folded across his chest, Grumpy tells Snow, "...While we might enjoy things like penicillin, we're a bit homesick." My friend, Janessa, makes a crude comment about Grumpy and penicillin which I won't repeat here, but shame on her! Snow's face falls as she considers her faithful companion's words (or perhaps his need for penicillin).
Sidebar: Grumpy makes an excellent point about outsiders, which is great. What's annoying is that he also highlights a Storybrooke mythology complication -- one I've studiously tried to ignore. It seems as though we are supposed to believe (and granted, I could be wrong in my assumptions, but just based on what we know so far, Grumpy's comment and the upcoming episode) that before baby Henry, and then Emma, no one from the outside had ever entered Storybrooke. Since then the only other person who has entered town is August. If so (and I hope it's not, and that I'm worrying for nothing), that's stupid. I can accept that no outsiders stayed in town, but it seems to me that someone delivered baby Henry there (unless Regina was able to leave).
Sidebar continued. Baby Henry aside, there had to be some delivery trucks passing through, or cargo ships docking and unloading in the harbor, just for the town to function at a minimum level. It's not like they're leading self-sustaining agrarian lives. I mean how did they get food for all those years? I could accept that before Emma arrived, the Storybrookers were so enchanted that they didn't even need to eat, if it weren't for the fact that Henry must have eaten. It's not like they're all locavores because I'm pretty sure I've seen Henry -- in Storybrooke -- with a commercially produced Apollo bar. There are Apollo bars in the world outside Storybrooke, so it's not a town-based commodity. We saw Neal pocket some. Sure, there could be a factory in town somewhere, but where did they get the chocolate? Cocoa is hardly native to Maine. The Storybrookers drive cars, so they're getting gasoline from somewhere. They're in frigging Maine, so they're sure as hell heating their houses with something (and not just wood). For a long time, I ignored fan complaints about these issues because I was trying to be reasonable and assume that there were deliveries, by outsiders, but that the spell kept them from being interested in Storybrooke. That's harder to do, now these people are talking like there hasn't even been minimal contact with outsiders. I know that wasn't stated explicitly, but it sure feels like it.
Anyhow, we cut to downtown. Gold is returning to his shop. He has many objects that can help him ensure the pirate never again comes near Belle. Belle wants to report it to the sheriff and begs Rumpy to remember that his quest to find Bae is paramount. He mustn't let his hatred of Hook distract him. Belle wonders what is behind the animosity between Rumpy and Hook. When Rumpy tries to pull the don't worry your pretty little head thing on Belle, she reminds him that it is her concern, as she was attacked. Rumpy relents in part and tells Belle that Hook took Milah, so Rumpy took Hook's hand. When Belle asks what happened to Milah, Rumpy just shakes his head because he can hardly confess he killed his own wife. The most he can give Belle is a lame, "She died. That's all that matters." Run, Belle, Run. She doesn't listen. Instead, she follows Rumpy into the shop, which has been ransacked. The shawl is gone.
Up on a rooftop, Hook is using his handy spyglass to watch Rumpy. Smee delivers Bae's shawl to Hook and asks what it is. Taking it, Hook says, "It's the end of the crocodile's hope. Now he's trapped here." Commercial.
Sidebar. Some fans have taken issue with the fact that Hook knew enough to get Smee to take this tattered old shawl. I don't. First of all, he is working with Cora. I have no trouble believing that, off-screen, while Hook has been using his spyglass and Smee to gather more information, Cora has been lurking and finding out even more. To top that off, the beginning of this episode strongly indicates that Archie probably gave up some information to Hook. What Hook originally wanted was the Dark One's dagger, but depending how much Archie knows, it's possible he knows Rumpy saved the shawl all these years.
After the break, Rumpy flies into a rage and ruins some of his stuff Smee failed to wreck. Belle tries to calm him down and offers to help. Rumpy scoffs at the idea that she can be of any use. Incensed, Belle says she's not going to sit there and do nothing. Rumpy orders her to return to the library, lock herself in and wait for him to handle Hook. Belle wonders if he'll cast a spell to force her, should she refuse. Rumpy takes offense and insists he trusts her to do as he asks, just as she trusts him to be a better man. He gives Belle a gun, and tells her if Hook is stupid enough to come after her again, she should aim at him and pull the trigger. "The gun will do the rest for you. All right? All right?" Wow, I am still really uncomfortable mentioning guns. That's all I'm going to say about that. Before Rumpy leaves, Belle ask Rumpy to promise that his going after Hook is only about retrieving the shawl. Rumpy grimaces and walks out. We flash back to...
Yamaguchi-Land. The hunters are dunking Belle's head in the town well because the Yamaguchi wasn't at the lake as she told them it would be. Belle plays innocent, but the hunter accuses her of doing exactly what she did -- purposefully misleading them. They don't get to rough her up too long though. Mulan lassos one of the men, then fights with another. When her helmet comes off in combat, her opponent feels the need to point out to her that she's female. Mulan pretty much rolls her eyes at him and orders both men to leave.
Once the men are gone, Belle thanks Mulan for her help, and Mulan gives Belle some of her backstory. Mulan notes the sun's position in the sky and says it's time for them to move out. If Belle will track the beast, Mulan will kill it. Belle graciously says she'll be honored. We flash forward to the...
Storybrooke Library. Belle finds a piece of knotted rope on the floor. Using her book smarts, she looks up nautical knots and realizes Hook must have come to town on his ship.
Smee is trying to get out of Dodge when he's confronted by Rumpy who magically throttles him, and demands the return of Bae's shawl. Smee confesses he gave it to Hook, but he has no more information. Rumpy doesn't wonder at the fact that Hook isn't sharing his plans with Smee. "Hook knows exactly what you are, Mr. Smee -- a sniveling rat." At a twist of Rumpy's hand, black smoke overwhelms Smee. When it clears, Smee's transformation into rat is complete. Rumpy growls at him to scurry off.
Over on the docks, Belle notices that gulls seem to be perched overhead on nothing at all. Opening a nearby bin, she throws some sand toward the creaking noise that originally caught her attention. Realizing the ship has become invisible, she takes a tentative step aboard. Commercial.
Once aboard the ship, it's not long before Belle finds and frees Archie. She tells him to find Gold, tell him her whereabouts, and bring him back to the ship. Archie wants Belle to come with him, but when they hear footsteps overhead Belle tells him there's no time to argue and insists he leave. No, I can't figure out how he gets off the ship without being seen, either.
Over at Snow's Hovel, she and Charming are doing dishes. When Charming sees Henry on the phone, he quietly asks Snow who the boy could be calling. Snow picks up the kitchen extension of the phone to hear Archie's answering machine greeting. "You've reached the phone of Archibald Hopper. I'm sorry I can't take your call right now. I'm either with a patient..." We cut to Henry who is hanging up the phone and says, "Or dead." Oh my word. I know that feeling. When my Nana died, I used to call her number from time to time. At first, it still rang (she didn't have an answering machine). Eventually, after my mother and aunt cleared out her apartment and shut off the phone, I would get the phone company recording about the number being out of service. The last time I ever called it, someone answered. She'd been gone so long the phone number had been reassigned. I apologized and said I'd dialed the wrong number, then resolved never to call back again. I saw someone somewhere (I don't think it was on our boards) berate the writers here because at eleven, Henry is too old to do something quite that childish. I'm not going to get into an argument with a stranger, but I will note I was 25 when my Nana died. I knew she wasn't going to answer. It was just the closest I could get to her. Oh, now I've made me fool self cry. Let's start a new paragraph, shall we?
Charming goes to his grandson and promises him things will get better. They just have to hang in there. When Henry says it doesn't feel that way, Charming says he knows. Just then, Pongo rushes in the apartment and runs straight for Henry. Following the dog in the door, Emma explains that Geppetto said Archie knew how much Henry loved dog and would have wanted Henry to have him. Emma adds, "That's if you're up to taking care of him, Henry." Showing his first sign of life since he learned of Archie's death, Henry gleefully asserts he is up to the task.
Snow smiles, but then looks down at Pongo's muddy paw prints on her floor. Emma tells Henry to take the dog outside and clean him up. I'm not sure how that works. Outside is where the dirt lives. Still, this silly instruction gives the adults time to talk. Emma knows adding another warm body to their small shared space is a lot to work out. Snow interrupts her and insists that giving Pongo to Henry is a great idea. She just thinks things might get a little cramped. Turning to Charming, she suggests they get their own place. Both Charming and Emma are taken aback.
Emma says, "After 28 years, isn't this all we've been waiting for -- to be together under the same roof?" Snow tries to explain that's what she means. "Yes. I just imagined a bigger roof, with turrets. Being here in Storybrooke, we have a chance at a fresh start. Let's take it." Some fans seem to think Snow means she and Charming will move out and leave Henry and Emma (and Pongo) in the loft. I admit her "our own place" wording could mean that, but I think she means about buying a place of their own -- for all of them. [And now, after finishing the episode, I'm starting to agree with the fans who think Snow wants to leave Emma and Henry, and live alone with Charming, so this was a big waste.] We cut to...
Hook's ship. Belle pokes around until she finds a locked chest. When she opens it, she is disappointed to see it contains gold coins, but don't worry Belle, the shawl is right behind you, in Hook's hot little hands -- well, hot little hand and hook. Belle lunges for the gun she left on the counter, but Hook beats her to it, and tells her she should have stayed with her books. He aims the gun and her pretty face and moves it to within an inch of her forehead. "Real life can get so...messy." We flash back to...
Yamaguchi Land. Night. Belle leads Mulan on their search for the beast. When they come to a clearing, they see a village below, burning away. When she congratulates Belle on her tracking prowess, Belle notices that the wound Mulan sustained while rescuing her has only gotten worst. Wounded Mulan is more likable than any other version of Mulan we've seen so far. When she insists she must save her village, Belle points out she is in no condition to hunt or fight. Mulan knows she's right and tells Belle that she must get the Yamaguchi. She tells Belle how she once had to prove her own warrior spirit, and she knows Belle can do the same. "The fate of my village depends on you." Giving Belle her sword, Mulan tells her not to be afraid. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Hook's ship. Belle tells Hook she isn't afraid him and won't be leaving without the shawl. Rumpy needs it to find his son. When Hook suggests the boy probably wouldn't want to be found by Rumpy, Belle asks if he hasn't yet hurt her woobie enough. That's a bit too rich for Hook. After Belle points out that Hook stole Milah, Hook gives her the real scoop. Milah begged him to take her away because she loved him, and because Rumpy was a coward.
Returning to the shawl, Hook says he should have burned it as soon as he got it. When Belle asks why he didn't, Hook says, "Because she made it." Belle says she's sorry Milah died, but points out vengeance won't bring her back. It's then that Hook fills Belle in on the details of Milah's death. "He ripped out her heart, and he crushed it, right in front of me." Belle refuses to believe it, but Hook sets her straight and tells her Rumpy will do anything to hold onto his power. That's why anyone who was ever close to him has run away or been killed. Hook again points the gun at Belle, cocks it, and asks her what makes her any different. He wants to know why she'd fight for a man like that.
Belle makes a big speech about how Rumpy is different. His heart is true. Blah blah blah Stockholm syndrome cakes. She then declares Hook's heart is rotten, knocks him down into the ship's hold, and scurries out. Down below, Hook says, "You have no idea." Commercial.
When Belle gets to the deck of the ship, she's surprised to see Hook already there. Fortunately, for her sake, Rumpy shows up. The two rivals are finally face to face. Hook mocks Rumpy's limp and wonders what magic he'll hide behind today. Rumpy says there'll be no magic and instead canes the hell out of the pirate. When Belle tries to stop him, Rumpy says, "Not yet, Belle." She uses the shawl to appeal to Rumpy and it almost works, but Hook (who seems to be more than happy to die) has to taunt Rumpy a little bit more, and thus the beating resumes. We flash back to...
Yamaguchi Land. Spying the beast, Belle hollers to get its attention then leads it to town. Once the beast catches up with her, she releases some water from some I-don't-know-what-that-is. When it pours over the beast, his flames are extinguished. As the poor thing whimpers and writhes on the ground, it uses its paw to write something. Belle deciphers the characters as meaning, "Save me." Sheathing her sword, Belle takes out the fairy dust Grumpy gave her at the start of her journey and sprinkles it over the poor creature at her feet. It envelops him in pinky-purple smoke. When it clears, the beast is gone and Prince Phillip is in its place. "The curse. You broke it." Belle wonders that someone did this to him. Phillip says, "Maleficent. An evil sorceress from my kingdom, determined to do everything in her power to keep me apart from Aurora, my true love. She exiled me to this land and turned me into a monster. I tried to warn the villagers, but no one understood what I really was -- except you."
Belle smiles at Phillip and notes he's not the first beast she's faced. Forever in her debt, Phillip asks what he can do to repay Belle. She tells him about the injured Mulan and asks his help in getting Mulan back to the village where she can see a doctor. Phillip says it will be his honor. I love Phillip. We flash forward to...
Storybrooke. Hook's ship. Rumpy is still beating Hook with his cane, and Hook is trying to taunt him into killing him. Belle says Hook wants to destroy every bit of good in him. Hook smiles and tells Rumpy to rip out his heart like he did Milah's, and then they can be reunited. Rumpy looks at Belle like, "Do you see what an asshole this guy is?" With almost a shrug he says, "He has to die, Belle," and sets out to ensure that happens. It's only Belle's insistence that Rumpy still has some good left in him that spare's Hook's life. When Rumpy releases his grip on Hook, he tells him to take his ship and sail away 'til he falls off the edge of the world. By the look on Hook's face as he watches Rumpy and Belle leave, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's not bloody likely. Commercial.
Granny's Diner. Snow is showing Charming a picture of a house she's interested in buying. When Charming says the yard looks small, Snow wonders if he's going to say that about every house they look at. Charming says, "I grew up on a farm." Snow knows this isn't about houses, though. Charming says, "We buried a friend this morning, Mary Margaret. It made me realize I don't want to die here." Snow says, "But our home, David -- it doesn't exist anymore. The ogres are back. Cora's in power." Charming says they must return to fight until things are right. Snow though, is tired of fighting. That's all they've ever done. In Storybrooke, they have a chance to be together. Charming asks what if they don't belong there. "Isn't it worth it to fight for what we really want?" Snow looks down and then back up at her husband. "Unless we don't want the same thing?" This gives Charming pause. We're going to cut away in a moment, but first, I need another...
Sidebar. There's been a lot of talk about how, even though they now have their memories back, the characters seem to mostly use their Storybrooke names with one another. People are split on whether or not they like this. It annoys me, but only for petty, selfish reasons. During the second season premiere, I decided to use their original names (except when I didn't, and you'll notice I keep calling Archie Archie, rather than Jiminy in this episode, probably because he's in human form), mostly so that I didn't have to remember to switch, when jumping between the two realities. Back then, it seemed to me, that since those are their original names, those are the names they should use, now that they remember themselves. Even though it soon became clear the show was taking a different approach, I decided to remain consistent. That said, I can understand why the writing team might want to use both sets of names. As Charming has told us, the characters are a mixture of "both" realities now. Also, it's probably a handy marker for the writers to give to us, the audience, to remind us when we're in one reality, versus the other. I can make sense of most of the characters using their Storybrooke names because they've been using them for the past 28 or 29 years. I cannot make sense of Charming calling any of them by their Storybrooke names because he was in a coma for 28 years. He knew them longer by their Enchanted Land names, no matter how we slice it. Similarly, I don't like Snow calling him David because he wasn't David to her for very long, and when he was David, he was a lily-livered fool. So there.
We cut to Mary's hovel. Henry is drawing up new plans for the apartment, in case David and Mary move out. Oh, so wait. Earlier, when I said I think Snow meant for them all to move together, I must have been wrong. Anyhow, he's allowing room for an armory, so they can stash weapons to protect themselves against Regina. Emma says Regina won't hurt him; she won't let her. Henry: "She hurt Archie. What if she wants to take me back?" Emma insists that won't happen. Just then there's a knock at the door. Pongo barks and starts whining at the door. When Emma opens it to find Archie, she is five miles past shock. She asks what happened. Archie says, "It was Cora. She kidnapped me." I feel like Emma should doubt this a little, but alas, it is not to be. Henry runs to Archie, who scoops the boy up in a big hug and assures him everything is all right.
Emma turns to Henry. "We were wrong. Regina didn't do it." Henry says, "I knew it." I've seen a lot of criticism that this is shoddy dialogue because just seconds ago, Henry was drawing up home blueprints that include an arsenal. I disagree. I think Henry can mean both things. He didn't believe in his heart that Regina would kill Archie, but when confronted with the evidence, he accepted it as fact, and started planning (in a kid way) accordingly. At any rate, he tells Emma, "Maybe we should let [Regina] know." Emma agrees, but she looks to Archie and says, "Something tells me either way, we're going to pay the price." We cut to the...
Town line. It's night, now. Rumpy drives Belle to the line in his Caddy. I'm annoyed about a bunch of stuff that happens here, so I'm going to gloss over his grateful small talk that focuses on the fact that Belle found the shawl for him, and that she's never given up on him. Belle blahs about how when you find something worth fighting for, you never give up. What makes her think he's worth fighting for is beyond me. We flash back to...
Yamaguchi Land. Phillip and Belle find Mulan reading one of Belle's books. She actually smiles when she realizes Belle is alive, but maybe that's because she's gotten an eyeful of Phillip. They explain how Phillip was the Yamaguchi, but he's all better now. Belle must take her leave -- she has another beast to face, so Phillip will get Mulan the help she needs. Once the two are alone, Mulan gives Phillip the most fetching smile.
On her own, Belle and her magnificent cleavage hike to the top of a hill. Looking out at the valley below, Belle says, "I'm coming back, Rumple." Regina appears and purrs, "Isn't that sweet? Still fighting for true love, even to the bitter end." When Belle asks Regina how she found her, Regina says, "You really should be nicer to your traveling companions." Yeah, I mean hey, they didn't rape you. They just kicked you out of the wagon in the middle of nowhere and later waterboarded you in a well. What gall. What nerve. Be a good, compliant girl, Belle, and be nice to the menfolk. Gag. Belle realizes Blowhard and Claude (a hunter whose name I failed to mention) are with Regina. Regina orders her guards to take Belle to the tower. Belle struggles against the guard, but resistance, she is futile in all the realms. Belle insists she can save Rumpy and break his curse. Regina says Bell has already tried and failed. "That monster's beyond saving. I'm sparing you a lifetime of pain and misery. Now locked in the wagon, Belle warns Regina she can't keep the apart forever. "I'll fight for him. I'll never stop fighting for him." We flash forward to the...
Storybrooke Town Line. Belle is holding Bae's shawl. Rumpy pours the remaining potion on it and tosses the bottle aside. Any moment, I expect a Native American to appear with a tear rolling down his cheek. When I make the mistake of saying so at home, the kids (of course) do not get the reference, but Scott laughs.
Belle puts the shawl around Rumpy's neck. When he crosses the line, magic washes over him, but he's okay. He remembers himself, Belle, Bae and everything. There's more touching talk between them, but I'm still not in the mood. Rumpy says he so wishes she was coming with him. That's as dumb as it was at the top of the hour, particularly since he then said that he had to make his journey on his own. Belle says it doesn't matter. Rumpy will find Bae, and she'll be there waiting when he returns. At that, Rumpy leans in to kiss her, but Hook appears out of nowhere and shoots Belle then whispers, "I wouldn't count on it."
Belle falls across the town line and into Rumpy's arms. The amnesia spell washes over her. Rumpy calls out her name, but Belle cries, "Who is Belle?" Rumpy looks down in horror at the blood on his hands. Enjoy your metaphor. Still brandishing the weapon, Hook assures Rumpy that Belle will live. "She'll just have no idea who you are."
On his knees at Belle's side, Rumpy weeps as he looks up at Hook. "What you've done cannot be undone." I don't think we have to accept this as reliable narration, by the way. Things just look bleak to Rumpy.
Hook shouts that now Rumpy finally knows how it feels, then tempts the "crocodile" into doing his worst. Saying he intends to, Rumpy raises his hand and conjures up a fireball. Before he can hurl it at Hook, a car comes speeding toward them. Rumpy dives on Belle and rolls her out of harm's way. The car crashes right into Hook and sends him sailing in the air. He lands on the roof, then slides off into a ditch. The car careens out of control and crashes into a tree. Thunder rumbles. Lightning flashes. Through the rain, we close in on the car's Pennsylvania license plate which reads 2KFL 138. Who can it be, now? I've seen people make note of the "sylvania" part of Pennsylvania. I quite like the spec attached to it, but I think some of it is spoiled, so I'll say no more and leave you to ponder.
I am still not crazy about the Belle/Rumpy romance. I do love a redemption story. I do love that Belle believes in him. I just don't feel her reasons. I never thought she saw enough good in Rumpy (back in L'enchantement, when she lived with him) to have this much faith. I'm also just having trouble with the final scene. Yes it was shocking and sad. I hate to see Belle not remember herself, but it's still a little... contrived. I mean, why did she go to the town line with him? She can't drive, so I can't see her taking the Caddy back. I would expect Rumpy to take the car on his journey, since he doesn't even know where he's going, plus he's got the limp, except he didn't cross back over the line to kiss Belle or get in the car. I feel we got a little bit of ends justifying the means, where this plotting is concerned.
I've heard quite a few fans berate Belle's stupidity. I don't think she's stupid. She's quite smart. But she is inexperienced and naive. She's also brave. Her bravery and spirit of adventure, combined with her inexperience make her do some foolhardy things, but heroism often has a foolhardy component, so I'm fine with that. How about you?
I'll be back with coverage of "In the Name of the Brother." In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we're hoping Kristi Yamaguchi isn't in the mood to do a vanity Google.