Feed Your Head

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Enchanted Forest: Jefferson (Sebastian Stan), is the Hatter (as in the Mad Hatter), but he's quite sane, and out of the magical millinery business. These days, he devotes all his time to his young daughter, Grace. Queenie manipulates Jefferson into taking his Mad Hat out of moth balls, with a promise that Gracie will never want for anything, if only he'll help her this once. She needs to retrieve something precious from Wonderland. The hat serves as a portal to a sort of room between the worlds, which is full of doorways. Jefferson finds the right one -- a looking glass, of course -- and warns Queenie that since two are entering, only two can leave.

Queenie uses her mojo to hasten the journey to the Queen of Hearts castle. There, she finds a wall full of vaults, much like her own heart vault wall. She takes the vault she needs, and she and Jefferson set off toward the looking glass. They have to contend with the Queen of Hearts' soldiers, but Regina is pretty powerful, so it looks like they'll make it. Before they escape through the looking glass, Queenie stops. She breaks off a piece of a mushroom and drops it into the vault. Her father, Henry, appears. Regina and Father Henry escape through the looking glass, leaving Jefferson behind. He is captured. The Queen of Hearts orders him decapitated as is her wont. Although he's decapitated, he's still alive. He's re-capitated at some point and ordered to make another magical hat. We leave him surrounded by hundreds of hats -- not a one of them is magical. Now he's off his rocker and is truly the Mad Hatter. Roger Daltrey guest stars as the voice of the hookah smoking caterpillar. The bright spot is a shout out to his fan base, when he asks the musical question, "Who are you?" Still, since he matters not at all to the story, I can't explain all the hype surrounding his role. I'll tell you one thing though, I won't get fooled again.

Storybrooke: Emma sets out to find Mary Margaret -- before her arraignment, and before Regina learns she's missing. While driving on a road through the forest, she comes across Jefferson (note he has the same name in both worlds). He is startled by Emma's car and seems to twist his ankle. Emma insists upon seeing him home. He offers her a cup of tea. Of course it's drugged. In the course of escaping, Emma finds that Jefferson is holding Mary Margaret captive, too.

Jefferson is a believer. That is, he remembers his fairy tale life and all that happened to him. He has also found his daughter Grace, but in Storybrooke, she is leading a seemingly happy life as Henry's classmate Paige. Jefferson insists Emma is magical and tells her he will free her and Mary Margaret, if Emma will make him a magical hat that will allow him to return to his real world. Emma doesn't want to poke the crazy, so she plays along. The more Jefferson talks to her about the fairy tale that was, the more she seems to believe, and even goes so far as to insist that there's nothing she'd like better than for Mary Margaret to be her real mother.

The hat Emma makes does not appear to be magical. She and Mary Margaret get into a physical altercation with Jefferson, and Mary defenestrates him with a righteous kick. When the women rush to the now broken window, all they find below is Jefferson's hat and broken glass.

Emma leaves it up to Mary to decide if she wants to run. Mary decides to put her faith in Emma. She returns to her cell, just before Regina arrives. We then learn that it seems like Mr. Gold is in cahoots with Regina. He's the one who planted the key in Mary's cell. That said, it's as least as likely that he's playing Regina, rather than double crossing Emma, and most likely that he has his own mysterious goals.

Alice In Wonderland always freaked me right out. It was just too scary, creepy and bizarre to the little girl I once was. This episode gave me the same uncomfortable feeling I got from the source work, so good job, Show. Once again, the grace notes lie in the Storybrooke relationships between Mary and Emma, and between Emma and Henry. By episode's end, Emma (who seemed to only be playing along with Jefferson about possibly believing in the fairy tale reality) borrows Henry's book.

I'll be back with the whole story, in the full recap. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where one pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small.

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"Hat Trick" surprises me -- mostly because I really enjoy it. "Jabberwocky" and "Hunting of the Snark" aside, I've never been a fan of Lewis Carroll. His Alice's Adventures In Wonderland creeped me out when I was a kid, so I wasn't looking forward to this episode. I considered digging back into Alice when I was covering Lost, because it was so heavily featured. I decided though, if I dug into every work featured on Lost, I wouldn't have had time to watch Lost, never mind write 5-10,000 words about it, each week. Yes, filthy lucre (and a hefty helping of sloth) beat my literary bent. That probably tells you more about me than I want you to know, and yet, here we are. One of the reasons "Hat Trick" works so well for me, is that it manages to evoke the same disturbed feelings Alice gave me as a child. So without further ado, let's see where this rabbit hole leads.

There are minimal changes to the montage that accompanies this week's narrative opening. The only one that jumps out at me is that we see Belle when the voice-over mentions that every storybook character we've ever known has been banished to our world. In part, it jumps out, because Belle is not in this episode. Once the narration ends, the "previouslies" show Emma booking Mary Margaret for Kathryn's murder and finding incriminating evidence; Mary finds the key to her cell; Emma suggests Mary hire a lawyer. The Easter Egg on this week's title card features three mushrooms.

We open in Storybrooke on Mary's empty jail cell and then cut to a nighttime shot of Mary running through the woods, so I eat a little crow, because I was starting think she didn't run of her own volition.

Back in the sheriff's station, Henry is sitting in the corridor reading his book, when Emma and Mr. Gold return. Having seen the empty cell, Henry congratulates Emma on her genius plan. Emma's been rather genius-plan free lately, so Gold asks what he means. When Henry remains tightlipped, Gold takes the hint and enters the inner office. Once Henry is alone with Emma, he apologizes. He thought Gold was "in on it" since he's representing Mary Margaret. Emma still has no idea what the child is talking about. Henry says, "The escape plan," just as Gold calls out to Emma.

When Emma sees the empty cell, she asks Henry what he's done. Henry swears Mary was already gone when he arrived. Gold exposits that her arraignment is tomorrow. Emma has to find Mary and bring her back before anyone, especially Regina, realizes she's missing. As a fugitive, Mary is "screwed" even if she's not convicted of Kathryn's murder. Emma tells Henry to go home. He whispers, "If she leaves Storybrooke..." Emma not-nows him. She's only got until 8:00 AM to find Mary. Gold reminds Emma that if she's caught helping a fugitive, her own future is in jeopardy. Emma says she doesn't care. "I'd rather lose my job than my friend." Gold's expression is opaque as he watches Emma leave. Once she's gone, he turns toward the empty cell.

Outside, Emma hops in her yellow VW Bug. Cut to a shot of her speeding down a foggy, forest road. She sees a man walking, but is driving so fast, she has to swerve to avoid him. He's startled, too. When he jumps out of the way, he falls down a small embankment. Screeching to a stop, Emma jumps out and is all apologies. When she asks the man (Sebastian Stan) if he's okay, he says he thinks so. He's not used to seeing cars on that road, so late. He recognizes Emma as the sheriff and asks her what brings her out in the middle of the night. Emma lies that she's looking for a lost dog. The man wishes her good luck in her search and starts off. When Emma notices he's limping, she comments on him being hurt. The man says, "No, I just twisted my ankle, I think." He lives a mile down the road and can make it home on his own, but Emma insists on driving him. He thanks her, offers her his hand and introduces himself as Jefferson. Emma shakes his hand and says, "Emma."

Sidebar: We'll later learn that Jefferson's limp is fake. This brings up questions about Emma's ability to detect lies. I think there are a few too many things going on, which explain why Emma doesn't catch on. When she asks him if he's okay, he says he thinks he is. That's not a lie. When she later says he's hurt, he says, "No." That's not a lie. He does say he thinks he twisted his ankle, but he took a hell of a tumble (or dive), so he may not be lying about twisting body parts. The limp is a wordless lie. That said, he's saying he is fine and acting like he's not. If Emma's inner polygraph machine is spiking, she likely thinks the lie is him saying he's okay. Mainly though, I don't think she's using her ability, right now. She's too worried about Mary and too hopped up on adrenaline from nearly hitting a pedestrian to hone in on Jefferson. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Enchanted Forest, Daytime. Jefferson runs, seemingly for his life, through woods. He must be trying to escape whatever evil creature cursed him to wear that wig. It's 18th Century Angel ugly. He stops and hides behind a tree, and it takes me a moment to realize that I'm not watching him sit atop bad CGI flames. The lining to his duster is just that color. Who or what has Jefferson on the run? Why it's just his sweet little girl, Grace (played by Alissa Skovbye). They've been playing Hide and Seek. Play time is over now, though. They need to forage for mushrooms to sell at market, tomorrow.

As father and daughter approach their cottage, they see the Queen's carriage parked outside. Jefferson lies that he doesn't know Queenie, and tells Grace to stay hidden in the woods while he finds out the reason for the royal visit. I can tell you right now, Jefferson, the reason is life-altering evil. Take your baby girl and run for hills. He doesn't listen. They never listen.

When Jefferson enters the cottage, Regina says, "I'd like to say you're looking well, Jefferson, but I'd be lying. Poverty doesn't suit you." Jefferson, who is apparently on a first name basis with her majesty, asks Regina what she's doing there. Regina has a job for him, but he says he doesn't do "that" anymore. She asks if he "hung up his hat" for Grace's sake. Jefferson says, "Because of my work, she lost her mother. I don't want her to lose her father, too." Regina condescends about his now humble life and wonders what kind of future Grace is facing. She tells Jefferson if he does one last favor for her, then he can give Grace the life she deserves. Jefferson says, "That's why I'm staying. You don't abandon family." He moves in so close, I think he's going to kiss Regina, and adds, "That's what she deserves." There's a quick cut and Jefferson is no longer up in Regina's grill. My sixteen year old, who is in his second year of a TV production class, interrupts to rant about how he'd get a failing grade if he made an edit that sloppy. I'm proud that he's paying attention in class, but man, I really just want to watch my Fairy Tale. I'm not up for auditing TV 220.

Jefferson asks Regina to please leave. She says all she needs are Jefferson's special skills to take her somewhere he's been before. "Do it and I can change your life."

She hands him a parchment. When he looks at it, he asks what business she could possibly have there. Regina says something of hers was taken and found its way there. Jefferson hands her back the parchment and tells her to find someone else to help. Regina is far too calm, when she accepts his refusal, so you know she's faking. "I see. Hard living has strengthened your resolve. Well, I'm sorry I couldn't convince you, but I understand. There's nothing more important than family." She leaves with a chuckle and a smile. That can't be good. Once she's gone, Jefferson appears disturbed, so he's probably worrying again about the creature that cursed him to wear that wig.

Storybrooke. Emma drives Jefferson up to an impressive mansion. When she notices him hobbling up the steps, she jumps out of the car and helps him in. He offers her tea, and although she declines because she has to get back to her search, she accepts the cup anyhow, as he pulls out a hand-drawn map of the area. He's an amateur cartographer. Emma raises the teacup to her lips. I yell at her not to drink it. She doesn't listen. She's too interested in Jefferson's map. He says it might help her track down her dog, and what? Is it a map of favorite canine peeing posts? When Jefferson asks Emma her dog's name, she lies that it's Spot. I think the tea is already affecting her speech. As she's saying that Route 6 runs the boundary of the forest, her speech slurs and she starts to lose her balance. Jefferson catches her. Emma says she's dizzy, so he places her on the couch. As she's struggling to maintain consciousness, Emma notices he's no longer limping. Jefferson smiles. "Oh, that. I guess you caught me." The teacup falls from Emma's hand to Jefferson's white shag carpet. Emma lets her head fall back on the couch. "Who are you?" Jefferson smiles us into commercial.

Enchanted Forest Village, Day. Grace leads Jefferson to a toy cart in the center of the marketplace. She immediately falls in love with a beautiful stuffed white rabbit and declares it a perfect guest for their tea parties. The woman running the cart is Regina, of course, magically disguised as very old gypsy woman, one who apparently uses the same dentist as Rumpelstiltskin.

Sidebar of Liberal Guilt: I don't know if I'm supposed to use the word gypsy. I don't want to refer to Regina's get-up as Romani, because it is such a stereotypical disguise, complete with head scarf, enormous earrings, and a vaguely Dracula-ish accent. It's hard to be politically correct in fairy tale land without losing the magic of the story. So, gentle readers, when I write about dwarfs, gypsies or witches, please know I don't mean real people with dwarfism, Romani or Travelers of any ethnicity, or pagans, etc. This show is going to be full of these stock characters. There's no way around it. I don't want to disclaimer myself to death and suck out all the charm -- although I think I just did, so let's get back to the story.

Jefferson asks how much the rabbit is. Gypsied-Up Regina (GUR) says it costs one silver. Jefferson only has eight coppers. GUR says, "Oh, you are good father. Your last coppers for your leeeetle girl's happiness." When Jefferson hands her the money and thanks her, GUR says, "Oh, I deeeeed not say I accept. Alas, I cannot take less than one silver. It's zee economy." She snatches the rabbit back from Grace. "You understand." Grace is no self-entitled brat. She lives up to her name and cheerfully consoles her father as she assures him she doesn't need it. When Jefferson tries to barter with GUR, Grace insists they leave because other people are waiting in line. Humiliated, Jefferson leads Grace away.

GUR hobbles to the back of her cart and stops in front of a conveniently placed mirror. Genie-Sidney-Magic Mirror Man appears and chides her for being cruel. "You could have at least let the girl have her toy." Through the magic of clunky CGI, GUR's face morphs sort of into Regina's. Speaking in her regular voice now, Regina cackles, "Where's the fun in that?" She morphs back into GUR and we jump back to...

Storybrooke, Jefferson's Mansion. When Emma comes to, she is bound and gagged. Seeing the teacup still lying on the carpet, she thinks quick, pushes a pillow on top of it, then stomps on it with her boots. Kicking the pillow out of the way, she hops down to the floor, picks up one of the larger shards, and frees her hands first. She then removes the scarf gag and removes the duct tape from her ankles. She tries to escape out a window but they're all stuck. Noticing a telescope in the room, she peeks in it. It is trained right on her office. Emma slowly opens a door and spies Jefferson in a room across the hall, honing the blades of a big pair of scissors. We return to...

Enchanted Forest, Jefferson's Cottage, Day. He's just finished making Grace a stuffed white rabbit. Of course it isn't as commercially perfect as the one on GUR's cart, but it has such homespun charm that it's not hard to believe Grace when she says she loves it. Stupid Jefferson -- when a daddy makes a gift like that for his little girl, she's going to love it forever and explain to her husband on her wedding night that the bunny gets to stay in the bed. It's the best gift ever, but you can't let yourself see that because you let Regina manipulate you. Tsk tsk.

Grace begins her little tea party and talks to her other stuffed animal, Mr. Tortoise. Jefferson's not playing around, this time. He tells her he needs her to go to the neighbors for the rest of the day. Grace knows his errand must have to do with the Queen's visit, and warns her father not to do whatever it is the Queen wants him to do. He says he must, because he wants Grace to have everything she needs. Grace reminds her Papa that all she needs is him and begs him to stay. He picks her up and carries her across the room in such an awkward way that it takes me out of the scene. She looks like a ragdoll, right? Anyhow, when he puts her down, Grace makes Jefferson promise he'll come back. He says, "Of course." She adds, "For our tea party. Promise?" Jefferson says, "I promise. I won't miss it for the world." Well goodbye, Jefferson. I guess you won't be seeing Grace again. He kisses her forehead and pulls up her hood as he encourages her out the door, where she is warmly greeted by a neighbor woman. Once Jefferson is alone, he opens a trunk and takes out a hatbox. The camera zooms in on, before we jump back to...

Storybrooke, Jefferson's Mansion. Emma sneaks past Jefferson and tiptoes down the hall, but when the floor creaks, she hustles into another room. We get a quick shot of Jefferson hearing the noise. Inside the other room, we hear a muffled voice say, "Memma. Hep meh." Mary Margaret has been gagged and tied to a chair. Commercial.

Emma frees Mary who tells her she was running away through the woods when Jefferson grabbed her and brought her there. Emma, of course, is there looking for Mary. Mary confesses there was a key in her cell. She doesn't know who put it there, but that's how she escaped. The ladies sneak out of the room, and thinking Jefferson is in another room down the hallway to the right, they turn left and bump smack into him. He's got a gun and a sense of humor. "I see you found Spot." Emma says she's called for backup, but Jefferson knows she's bluffing because she doesn't want anyone to know about Mary. He makes Emma tie her back up. Emma asks about the telescope and why he's been watching her. Jefferson says he needs her to do something.

Enchanted Forest, Knifingham Palace. Jefferson arrives with his hat box and asks for Regina's guarantee that if he does as she asks, Grace will want for nothing. Regina gives her word. It is to laugh. Soon Jefferson opens up his box and removes his magical top hat. Regina snarks about liking a man who dresses for the occasion. Jefferson places the hat on the floor. As it spins, he tells Regina to step back. There are all sorts of CGI magic going on here, and heavy use of a wind machine. The hat has spun itself into a portal. Jefferson encourages Regina to jump first, but she takes his arm and says they'll go together. And holy moly. Look at the cleavage on her this week. If she falls face first, she might bounce right back out of the hat.

Storybrooke, Jefferson's Mansion. Jefferson manhandles Emma into his millinery room. There's a wall of shelves filled with hats. Emma makes a vague threat that if he hurts Mary Margaret, she'll make him regret it. Jefferson says he's saving Mary's life. When Emma asks what he means, he tells her not to play stupid. They both know what happens when people try to leave Storybrooke and the curse kicks in -- the curse that keeps everyone trapped -- everyone but Emma.

Emma: Have you been reading Henry's book?

Jefferson: Henry -- you mean the Queen's father?

Emma: Henry, the Mayor's adopted kid.

Jefferson: Oh, Henry. Your Henry, and his book of stories, the ones you choose to ignore. Maybe if you knew what I know, you wouldn't.

Recapper: SQUEE! Ahem. Sorry. Anyhow, Emma asks why Jefferson has been spying on her. He walks behind her, aims his gun at the back of her head, lowers it and tells Emma he's been stuck in this house for the last 28 years. Each day was the same until she came to town, but then the clock started moving and things started to change. He knows what she refuses to acknowledge. She's special and she's brought magic to Storybrooke. Emma gently tells him he's insane.

Jefferson: I'm talking about what I've seen. Perhaps you're the one that's mad. What's crazier than seeing and not believing? That's exactly what you've been doing since you got to our little hamlet. Open your eyes. Look around. Wake up. Isn't it about time?

Recapper: Yes. Yes. A million times, yes!

Emma:: What do you want?

What Jefferson wants is for Emma to make him a hat that works. He tells her she's the only one who can do it. He's more vague than this, but I used up all my patience this week referring to him as "the man" until he finally introduced himself.

We cut to the inside of the magical hat, which is like a room between worlds. There are doorways of different colors and styles. Jefferson leads Regina to a looking glass door. He tells her they must stick together. The same amount of people who go through must come back. "No more, no less. It's the hat's rule, not mine." Jefferson puts his fingers up to and then through the looking glass. It ripples like water. He walks through. Regina follows him into Wonderland. Thick blades of green grass and enormous mushrooms tower over their heads. The sky is impossibly blue. They stop to a particularly huge mushroom. While Jefferson sneers and nods in contempt, Regina gasps. Atop the mushroom is a giant, hookah smoking caterpillar. Roger Daltrey provides the caterpillar's voice and asks the musical question, "Who are you?" He blows smoke rings at Jefferson and Regina and adds, "Who? Who?" Jefferson spits that he hates Wonderland. Me too, brother! And? That's all we get of Daltry, who matters not at all to the story. I can't explain all the hype surrounding his role. I'll tell you one thing though, I won't get fooled again. (Yeah, I know, I already said all that in the recaplet. I'm a hack with a bad back, a stomach bug and a fondness for The Who.)

Storybrooke. Jefferson brings Emma some floppy black velour and tells her to make a hat like the top hat sitting on the sewing table. And here's where I want to poke the writers a little. I know nothing about making hats. Since Emma was raised in the foster system, did a little time in juvie, worked as a bail bonds woman and is now a sheriff, I'm going to go out on a limb and decide she too knows nothing about making hats. That's all well and good. Jefferson is crazy but he's also right that Emma has brought magic to Storybrooke, so I get that she'll be able to make a hat. What doesn't work for me is that she never, not once, says she doesn't know anything about hat making. This is how real people talk. Person 1: "Make me a hat." Person 2: "I'm a sheriff, not a milliner. I don't know to make a hat." There's no reason to omit that line. It's unnatural that she doesn't say it. I wait for her to say it for the however many minutes, but despite all her objections, she never makes the most obvious, natural one. "I don't know how to make a hat." Sorry. Rant over. Oh, wait, one more thing. Here's a little Pro Tip for my readers. Haberdashers don't make hats. The term is applied either to one who sells sewing notions, or one who deals in men's clothing. Hatters or milliners make hats. There. I feel better now.

So Jefferson tells Emma to make a hat. She cracks about how he already has enough. Jefferson says they don't work. He needs her to make a hat and make it work. He tells her she has magic. She can do it. When she catches sight of the tea service in the corner and looks around the room at all the hats, she realizes he thinks he's the Mad Hatter. She figures he's glommed onto Henry's fairy tale theory. She tells him they're just stories.

Jefferson: What's a story? When you were in high school, did you learn about the Civil War. [...] How? Did you read about it -- perchance, in a book? How is that any less real than any other book.

Recapper: I think you mean, "How is that any more real..." but I'm interrupting. Sorry.

Emma: History books are based on history.

Jefferson: And story books are based on what -- imagination? Where does that come from? It has to come from somewhere. You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants a magical solution for their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic. [He points his gun at Emma and the material in front of her.] Now get it to work.

Emma: Here's the thing, Jefferson...

Recapper: Yes! Tell him you don't know how to make any kind of hat, never mind a magical one.

Emma: I can't. It's not in the script and you already know that, so let me just get on trying to break through to this nut job. Here's the thing, Jefferson. This is it. This is the real world.

Jefferson: A real world. How arrogant are you to think yours is the only one? There are infinite more. You have to open your mind. They touch one another -- pressing up in a long line of lands. Each just as real as the last -- all have their own rules. Some have magic; some don't. And some need magic, like this one, and that's where you come in. You and your friend are not leaving here, until you make my hat -- until you get it to work.

Sorry to get so quote-y up there, but I felt that dialogue is so important to the canon of this show. Anyhow, Jefferson lays an enormous pair of scissors in front of Emma. She picks them up and starts cutting into the fabric, although she has no pattern, no hat form (I don't know if that's what they're called, because like Emma, I have no idea how to make a hat), and no clue. She asks Jefferson what will happen once the hat works. He says then he'll go home.

Wonderland. Jefferson and Regina approach the Queen of Hearts' domain. There's a huge maze before them, and its walls devour anything that touch them. Jefferson throws a stick to demonstrate it to Regina. Regina, in turn, throws a fireball to ensure them a short walk through. Arm in arm, Regina and Jefferson march through their magical path. Finally, they arrive at a -- what kind of building is that? I want to call it a cupola, but I know that's wrong. I called it a castle in the recaplet. I must have gotten some bad mushrooms, or something. I don't have time to search out architectural terms. It's a low, one story building topped by a dome (with a heart cupola on top). There appear to be no windows. It reminds me of a mausoleum. Anyhow, Regina magics open the look and the doors open. Inside, there is a wall of vaults that remind me of Regina's heart vaults back in Storybrooke. She selects the box she wants, and she and Jefferson start back toward the looking glass.

The Queen of Hearts' guard catches them and tries to stop them. The pair runs. Regina uses a little magic here and there to block the path behind them. When they run right into some knights, Jefferson throws one into the maze wall. Regina uses magic on two more, to accomplish the same ends. Finally, they get away. With the looking glass in sight, Regina stops and breaks off a piece of a mushroom, muttering something about a little snack. Jefferson asks, "Are you mad. Do you know what the food here does?" Regina is well aware. She lays her box on the ground and gently places the mushroom inside, then stands back. Purple mist swirls up and out of the box. It dissipates to reveal Regina's father, Henry. Regina explains to Jefferson that the Queen of Hearts has always seen her as a threat (smart lady) so she took Henry as leverage. Henry hears the soldiers and says they must hurry.

Jefferson realizes he's been set up. Regina didn't tell him about retrieving her father, because since only two of them entered, only two of them can leave. When Jefferson lunges for Regina, she has the walkway swallow his feet. He pleads with Regina for his daughter's sake. He promised he'd be home for tea. Regina tells him if he truly loved his daughter, he never would have left her. "You were right, Jefferson. You don't abandon family." Jefferson screams as Regina and Henry make their way through the looking glass. It's not long before the King of Hearts (I guess, because his robe is ermine trimmed) and the Queen's men capture him and drag him off. Commercial.

Wonderland, Queen of Hearts' Palace. Jefferson is brought before the Queen's court. We never see her face. She's completely draped in red. My friend decides she's Lady Gaga (which I love), but Jennifer Koenig is credited with the role. Rather than screaming, "Off with their heads," at every opportunity, this Queen of Hearts whispers through a speaking horn, and the King then reports her words to the assembly. He says the Queen of Hearts knows he's responsible for the theft. When Jefferson starts to explain that "the Queen" tricked him, the Queen of Hearts reels back on her throne. The King snaps, "That woman's name is Regina. There is only one Queen, the Queen of Hearts. Jefferson bows and apologizes. The Queen wants to know how Jefferson got to Wonderland. Jefferson asks if he tells them, will they let him go home to his daughter. The King laughs. The Queen whispers into her horn, "Off with his head."

A masked executioner approaches. He decapitates Jefferson in one fell swoop. The guard standing behind grabs Jefferson's head, as his body slumps to the floor. Jefferson's head is still alive. The King tells him if he wants his body back, he'd better answer the question. Jefferson says they used his hat to get to Wonderland, but Regina took it. The King tells Jefferson if all he needs to go back to his homeland is a magic hat, then he should just make another. Jefferson says a hat without magic is just a hat and won't work. The King tells him that's his task -- get it to work.

Storybrooke, Jefferson's Mansion. Emma has made a hat but she cannot get it to work. She tells him it's impossible. He bangs his head on his hatbox and mutters about how it must work, so he's not cursed to live here forever. Emma points out he lives in a beautiful mansion and she really can't see what's so cursed about his life. Jefferson says like everyone else in Storybrooke, what he most loves has been ripped from him. He tells her about Grace, whose Storybrooke name is Paige and shows her Grace through the telescope. His curse is to remember -- to live with the knowledge of these two conflicting realities. Emma suggests Jefferson reach out to Grace, but he doesn't want to destroy her reality. It's hard enough to live in a world where you don't belong. Knowing it can drive you mad. Emma finally understands that he wants the hat work so he can take Grace home to their world, where she'll remember who he is.

Emma is tearful as she tells Jefferson she knows what it's like to be separated from one's child. She plays along like she's starting to believe the other worlds are real. "If what you say is true, that woman in the other room is my mother -- and I want to believe that more than anything in the world. So maybe you're right. Maybe I need to open myself up more. Maybe if I want magic, I have to start believing." Mollified, Jefferson's voice is soft as he asks if she'll help him get it to work. Emma says she'll try. When Jefferson turns to grab the hat off the table, Emma picks up the telescope and whacks him in the head. "Crazy son of a bitch." She reaches down, takes his gun and runs off to free Mary.

While Emma is untying Mary, Jefferson comes in the room. Mary screams to look out. Jefferson rushes at Emma knocking her on top of Mary, who is still on the chair. The three of them tumble to the floor. The gun falls in the scuffle. Emma, still flat on the floor, reaches for it, but Jefferson pulls her back and I keep thinking poor Jennifer Morrison had to get some rug burn filming this scene. Jefferson gets on top of Emma. As she's pushing his head away from her, we can see the scar across his neck. He pulls Emma to her feet, throws her across the room, picks up the gun and aims it at her. He picks up his hat, puts it on his head and smiles. Emma's eyes are as wide as saucers when she catches sight of his scar. Jefferson knows she sees it, and says, "Off with his head."

Mary is behind him and has worked herself free. She grabs a croquet mallet and strikes at Jefferson with all her might. While he's still unsteady, she kicks him in the gut and through a window. Defenestration for the win! We watch Jefferson, his hat and shards of glass falling. The women walk over to the broken window and look below. All that remains are the hat and broken glass.

Emma and Mary go outside and look down into the hat. Mary picks it up and asks who "he" was. Emma deems him a very lonely man and then asks, "By the way, have you been taking kick boxing, and not telling me about it?" Mary says, "I have no idea where that came from." I do! I do! They walk through the property until they find Emma's car, covered with a tarp. The keys are on the front seat. Mary refers to Emma as "Sheriff" and asks if she's taking her back, now. Emma instead hands Mary her keys. She doesn't want Mary to run, but says it's her choice. She warns her that being on the run is hard. Emma begs Mary Margaret to believe and trust her. She knows she can get her out of this.

Mary: Why is it so important to you -- what happens to me?

Emma: Because when Regina framed me, and you bailed me out, I asked you why, and you said you trusted me. And then when I wanted to leave Storybrooke because I thought it was best for Henry, you told me I needed to stay because that was best for him. I realized all my life, I have been alone -- walls up. Nobody's ever been there for me, except for you. I can't lose that. I cannot lose my family.

Mary [clearly touched]: Family?

Emma [self-conscious]: Whatever. You know what I mean. Wouldn't you rather face this together, than alone?

Mary hands the keys back to Emma, and they keep their hands clasped together for a moment as they smile at one another. The clock starts to chime. Emma says, "The arraignment. Regina."

Sheriff's Office, Exterior. Regina pulls into the parking place to the empty spot reserved for our Sheriff. She saunters into the building but stops dead in her tracks when she gets into the office. The camera pans to the cell. Mary Margaret is sitting on her cot, reading the Storybrooke Daily Mirror, so it must not have been 8:00 AM when we heard the clock in the scene. Anyhow, there's a big headline reading: "HEARTLESS!" over Mary's picture on the front page. Mary looks up from the paper. "Madame Mayor." Regina's smile is forced. "Good morning." Gold comes in and says his client isn't receiving any visitors and offers to see Regina out.

Once they're alone, Regina asks Gold what Mary's doing there. He points out that she came back. Regina reminds him he said their plan would work -- that she'd take the key and run. Gold confirms she did, but says it appears Emma is more resourceful than they thought.

Gold: Fear not, your Majesty. Miss Blanchard is still guilty of murder. You may yet get what you want.

Recapper: Say murder again. I love hearing that with a Scots burr.

Regina: Stop stepping on my lines, peasant. As for you, Gold, oh I'd better get what I want. The only reason I made a deal with you Gold is because I wanted results.

Gold: And results you shall have. See you at the arraignment.

Gold watches as Regina storms out of the building. His face reveals nothing. What angle is he working? I mean, his own, obviously. I can't help but think back to the shot of Belle during the opening narration. What deal did Regina make with him? Gold can't believe for a minute that Mary killed Kathryn. He's too smart for that. This is going to drive me crazy.

Anyhow, Emma finds Henry outside his school and reports that she found Mary Margaret and she's fine -- other than being on trial for murder. They're interrupted when a young girl comes up and says, "Hi, Henry." It's Paige (Grace). Emma got a good look at her through Jefferson's telescope, but she asks Henry who the girl is anyhow, and seems spooked when he says, "Paige." Emma watches the girl walk off and then asks Henry if she can see his Once Upon A Time Book.

Henry: Yeah, why?

Emma: I was curious about something.

Emma flips through the book until she comes to an illustration of Jefferson kneeling on the floor, putting his hat back in its box. She turns the page and looks at a drawing of Jefferson and Grace in the Enchanted Forest. The picture shows Jefferson with crazy eyes. He's surrounded by hats. When Henry asks, "What? What is it?" Emma says, "Nothing." We zoom in on book-Jefferson's mad expression. The picture comes to life. And we're back in...

Wonderland. Jefferson is in a room with hundreds, or thousands or maybe even millions of hats. He works furiously and he chants and cries over and over again, "Get it to work. Get it to work. Get it to work." We cut back to...

Storybrooke School, Exterior. When Henry says Emma's name to get her attention, she jumps. The school bell rings. He has to get to class. Emma asks if she can hold onto the book. Henry considers her face and smiles. "Absolutely." Emma watches him as he trots off toward the building and then returns to the story. She raises an eyebrow and we fade to black.

I'll be back before you know it, with coverage of "The Stable Boy," which promises to be a Snow White/Regina explainapalooza. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where one pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small.

Provenance
Original URL
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/once-upon-a-time/hat-trick-1/
Captured
2013-09-27
Page Type
recap (100%)
Wayback Machine
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