The Right Thing To Do Was Not To Lead Me On

S01E06

In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.

Hi everyone. I'd like to thank my lovely and talented friend and co-worker, Tippi Blevins, for covering for me, last week. Thanks, Tippi! I was in Disney World. It was a first time for all of us -- my mother, husband, kids and me. It was great, but exhausting. In one part of Disney's Hollywood Studios theme park, there was a billboard for Once Upon A Time. The name was also up on the marquee of a shop made to look a movie theater, so I swear I was thinking about you, the whole time. Now I'm wondering if I can write my portion of the trip off as research -- when I file my 2011 taxes. Hmmm. I'd better jump right to the recaplet, so I'll have time to call an accountant. And possibly an attorney.

Storybrooke: David Nolan (Prince Charming) is our star of the week. He's been released from the hospital and the curse doesn't seem to be working on him yet. He doesn't remember his real life in the Enchanted Forest because of his amnesia, but the curse hasn't filled his head with false memories of Storybrooke yet, either.

Overwhelmed at his homecoming celebration, David takes off and finds Mary Margaret, who skipped the party, because of the feelings she and David share. Later, Mary confides in Emma, who counsels that if you think something you want is wrong, it probably is. Wordy McCrap, is she ever right. That's one of those lessons you hate learning, because once you've internalized it, you have this pesky conscience to deal with, and it's not some little cricket you could just step on, either. Ugh.

Anyhow, David leaves Kathryn and takes a room at Granny's. He tells Mary and says that if she wants to pursue a relationship, she'll meet him that night, by the toll bridge. Really? In the woods? At night? What's wrong with dinner and a movie? Mary feels conflicted, so Emma then counsels her to go for it, because by leaving Kathryn, David made a clear choice. What else could she ask for?

On his way to the bridge, David runs into Regina, who naturally, steers him wrong. He ends up at Mr. Gold's shop and sees a windmill replica that, in the curse-created reality, supposedly once stood in front of the Nolan's house. This triggers the curse and David's head is filled with false memories. He takes off for the bridge and promptly breaks Mary Margaret's heart. Boo hiss!

Enchanted Forest: Well, we're back to calling Charming Charming, because he's not the real Prince James. It's a Prince and the Pauper scenario. The twins were separated at birth, by Rumpy, no less. The twin who would be the real James was given to King George (Alan Dale; Charles Widmore on Lost). Our Charming, meanwhile, was reared by his biological parents, on their poor but lovely farm. I spent much of the episode trying to forget that Charming's parents traded one of their babies to Rumpy, in order to save their farm, but more on that, in the recap.

The real Prince James has a duel with some Unkillable Villain and kills him, while King Midas is paying a visit to King George's kingdom. Midas proposes a deal, if James will slay the dragon currently plaguing Midas's kingdom, Midas will end the financial woes in George's kingdom. Once the deal is sealed, Midas and George depart for kingly things, and the Unkillable Villain turns out only to be nearly dead, and kills James. This is where the Enchanted Forest story gets convoluted, and I'll get into that, and how much I hate Midas's inclusion in this world, in the recap. Suffice it to say that Rumpy tells George that James has a twin brother. Rumpy then persuades Charming to stand in for his twin, James, and slay the dragon.

The king's men are under orders to slay the dragon themselves, and keep Charming safe, so he can deliver the dragon's head to Midas, as per their deal. Yes, this is dumb. Charming does end up being the one to kill the dragon though, because he's bloody Charming, even if he wasn't born a prince.

Midas is so impressed he makes a deal with George for Charming to marry his daughter Abigail (Kathryn, aka the blonde in the feathery dress who was with Charming when Snow ambushed his carriage). Charming won't agree, until George threatens to kill his mother. Although neither Kathryn nor Charming are into each other, they set off on the scenic route to Midas's kingdom, where they will wed. Charming has with him the ring that belonged to his mother, who -- on their last moment together -- had told him true love always follows the ring. Cue Snow White, in full highwaywoman mode, ready to ambush Charming and fall in love.

In other news, Emma catches Sheriff Graham sneaking out of Regina's house. Dr. Whale keeps sniffing around Mary Margaret. Also, they drink MacCutcheon in Storybrooke! A lot more happens in the episode, too. I'll be back with the full recap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the forum, where someday, your prince will come, and hopefully, he'll come with a bottle of MacCutcheon.

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

A big thank you to Tippi Blevins for covering for me, last week. As I mentioned in the recaplet, I was in Disney World over Thanksgiving week -- a first time for our whole family. I've since been exhausted for a week and sick for another. I totally should have asked Tippi to cover this episode, too. Let's get right to it, shall we, so that I don't spend too much time whinging about my Ebola common cold. You ready? Sniff. Okay!

Storybrooke, Maine, Night, Nolan House, Exterior: David Nolan (Prince Charming) and his "wife" Kathryn (Princess Abigail) approach their house. David has just been released from the hospital and Kathryn is throwing a Welcome Home party for him. There's even a personalized, professionally printed "Welcome Home David" banner hanging from their porch. David's face is all: Seriously, Kathryn? As far as we both know, I left you in a huff and promptly fell into a coma for no one exactly knows how long. I have amnesia. You mean even less to me than the total, supposed strangers who rescued me when I went on a post-coma walk-about. I just get released from the hospital, and instead of coming home and trying to get to know each other -- you throw a party full of a whole bunch of other people I can't place? I hope you invited a divorce lawyer. Kathryn just thinks David doesn't like the house, and blathers on about the first time they looked at the house, but since it's seemingly all curse-created memory, I'm loath to spend much time on it. The bottom line is, there "used to be" a windmill replica on the front lawn, and David hated that and the house, which he supposedly once called "old ladyish."

Contrived Celebration, Interior: Kathryn introduces David around the room. Dr. Whale (David Anders) is there. He tells David the party is a good idea as it might trigger his memories. Emma and Henry are sitting out in the hallway on a bench. Henry says the David doesn't remember anything because the curse isn't yet working on him. Emma takes that condescending tone adults take. "Henry, David has amnesia." Henry is sweet, even while he addresses her like the slow, dull child she must seem. "...Which is preventing the curse from replacing his fairy tale story with fake memories." Emma: "Right, because everyone here has fake stories that prevent them from remembering who they really are." Henry: "Right. And now's our chance to help him. We just have to get him to remember he's..." Emma: "He's Prince Charming." Henry: "We just have to jog his memory by getting him and Ms. Blanchard together." Emma: "Didn't we just try that?" Henry: "And it...woke him up." So there!

David is glad to see Emma and Henry, since they're two of the few people who he can even recognize. When David spears a cocktail weenie with a toothpick, Henry asks if he's ever used a sword. The aDULLts laugh, and David asks if Mary Margaret is coming. He tries to hide his disappointment when he learns she won't be. We cut to the...

Kitchen: Regina sees David talking to Emma and Henry, so she encourages Kathryn to get out to the party and be with her husband. Kathryn is teary. She's already lost David once, but it's still not like he's back with her. Regina says she understands loss. "The love I lost -- there's no bringing him back. You have a chance here. Go to him." Kathryn sniffs and thanks Regina for being such a good friend. "It's been so lonely. I'm not used to having one." Regina smiles. "Neither am I." Kathryn: "Well, like it or not, you have one now." Regina's look says: My heart would be warmed right now, if I hadn't killed my own Daddy to cast the dark curse and thus doomed myself to living with this gaping hole in my psyche.

Out in the living room, Kathryn asks Emma, Henry and Dr. Whale if they've seen David. They look around, confused. We cut to...

<.p>Mary Margaret's Hovel, Exterior: David finds her trying to hang a birdhouse in a tree. He asks if she got the party invitation, but Mary doesn't answer directly. She just says, "David." He smiles, hops the fence and takes the birdhouse from her. As he hangs it, he asks if she resigned from the hospital because of his feelings for her and tells her he knows those feelings aren't one-sided. Mary reminds him that since he's married, it should be no-sided. David says he didn't choose Kathryn. He chooses Mary. She tries to brush this off as some sort of connection he feels just because she saved his life, and scurries away.

Enchanted Forest: I've seen a lot of complaints about the CGI in these scenes. That doesn't bother me in fairy tale world. I see it, yes, but it's a fairy tale world. It looks surreal, because to us, with our accursed eyes, it is. That's my fanwank and I'm sticking to it. Anyhow, Prince James is fighting some big bad knight. Once James plunges his sword into the villain's chest he says, "time, make sure I'm really dead." Oh, James. I think you just foreshadowed all over yourself.

The assembled court applauds James's victory. Two kings are seated on a platform. King Midas (Alex Zahara) rises and says, "Well done." King George, James's father, is played by Alan Dale, whom Lost fans will recognize as Charles Widmore, so that's what I'm calling him, because I'm already having trouble with the David/James/Charming names this week, and this episode's title, "The Shepherd" already has me missing Jack Shephard. King Charles Widmore gets all uppity with his guest. "Well done? There's an understatement. See what my son did to that brute? He just killed the unkillable."

Midas wants to know if James can do the same with a dragon. James is up for the task. Midas's kingdom needs this threat vanquished. King Charles Widmore, "And my kingdom needs gold." Midas holds up his hand, and a knight removes his glove. Midas reaches out and touches James's sword, turning it to gold. "Consider it a downpayment. You'll get the rest when you deliver the dragon's head to me." James looks down at Midas's magical hand. "Forgive me if I refuse to shake on it, King Midas."

Sidebar: I do not like including Midas in this world. The prologue to Once Upon A Time is that our characters once lived in the world of happy endings, but when Queenie cast the dark curse, they were exiled to our world, and lost their happy endings. Midas was a greedy sot and his gift turned out to be a curse. He even turned his own daughter into gold. I am all for messing with these old stories, making merry, even making modern Midrash, but having Midas retain his ability to turn things into gold with just a touch -- seems out of place in our Enchanted Forest -- especially since, as we'll later see, his daughter is alive, well, and flesh and blood.

Once Midas and King Charles Widmore depart to iron out the details of the deal, one of James's men proposes a toast to their fearless prince. James reminds them this was just a test. It's the upcoming task that is their real challenge. "Just because I was easily able to kill this brute doesn't mean..." He's cut short and nearly in two, for that matter. Looks like the Unkillable Brute isn't dead yet. He's just speared (or javelin-ed or something -- I am not your weapons recapper) James through the back. The tip exits through James's chest. He falls to the ground, dead. James's knights draw their swords, but instead of rushing to cut off the still fallen brute's head or something useful, they rally around their dead prince and stand there, waiting for a cue that never comes. Commercial.

King Charles Widmore's Castle, Interior: James lies in state. A tear rolls down Widmore's cheek. "Goodbye, my son." When James's body is carried off, a knight reminds Widmore that there's no time to grieve. If Midas learns of James's death, he'll find another warrior to slay the dragon and their kingdom will get no gold. Is it me, or is this where things get dumb and convoluted? I mean, you make a deal with Midas. Your kid gets killed, but you have all these other knights. Midas wants the dragon dead. He is looking for another warrior. Wouldn't he give your men a pity-attempt at killing the dragon, at least while he's on his warrior quest? What does Midas have to lose?

Anyhow, Rumpy is the help Widmore's been waiting for. Once he's alone with Widmore, Rumpy says, "So this is how you treat my gifts. You really must be more careful." Widmore: "He was not a gift. He was my son." Rumpy: "A son I gave you." Widmore: "In a deal we made. You did me no favors." Rumpy begs to differ, saying his price for the baby was a pittance. Widmore proposes another deal. He wants Rumpy to bring James back to life, and will give him anything in return. There is a magic wand Rumpy desires. "It belongs to a certain fairy godmother who is patron to your family. I want to know her whereabouts." So, is Cinderella part of the King George "Charles Widmore" Charming family? I'm thinking so, because Widmore says, "Done. Now tell me, how do I bring my son back to slay the dragon." Rumpy reminds Widmore that James is dead. "Magic can do much, but no that!" King Charles Widmore says, "Then my kingdom is lost," which makes me snicker, even though I haven't taken any cold meds. Anyhow, there won't be a resurrection, but Rumpy reveals that James has an identical twin. Rumpy is his usual whimsical self in this scene, but I don't find that his lines translate all that well to text.

Farmland, Day: The man who will someday wed Snow White and father Emma, is herding his sheep. We now know he is not James, as James was raised a prince and died before Snow ever ambushed Charming's carriage, so I'm going back to calling him Charming. My friend, Steve, wants to know where the snark is in that, and suggests calling the twins James (who is not James) and James (who is), or something like that, but I'm not sacrificing clarity for snark (which is not snarky...um, no offense, Steve). Besides, look at Charming's fluffy, fluffy hair. It's got me too silly to snark.

Storybrooke, Mary's kitchen: Mary is scouring a plate to death, when Emma arrives home and mentions she saw David sulking away. Mary Margaret finds words hard to come by, but Emma knows what she means and says that since David is still married, Mary did the right thing by sending him away. She tells Mary to stop cleaning and have a drink, then grabs a bottle of MacCutcheon 60 year old Scotch Whisky off the shelf. Even my kids recognize the brand. Once they're having their heart to heart, Emma tells Mary, "Generally speaking, if you think something you want to do is wrong -- it is. So you gotta stay strong, and he has to figure out his life." They raise their glasses and clink.

Nolan House, Interior: I wish we'd get a close-up of the framed sketches on the wall behind the couch. The one in the middle is Pinocchio. The one on the left seems to be of two houses. I can't make out the one on the right, at all. Anyhow, David is going through old pictures, but nothing rings a bell. Kathryn talks a lot about how he used to wear his head in a buzz cut. The photos confirm this, but I suspect they're curse-created, too, so this whole conversation seems like a waste to recap. Kathryn says she's going to bed and asks David if he wants to join her. David: "You mean 'go to bed' go to bed, or go to bed." Kathryn: "Whatever you want." David suggests they sit and talk some more. Kathryn ignores that and lays a big kiss on him. David resists and first, but then puts his hand to her face and gives it a shot. It's not working, though. He pulls back from her. "This...isn't right."

Enchanted Forest, Farm: Fluffy-haired Charming is herding his sheep into their rough hewn pen, when his mother (played by Gabrielle Rose) arrives home from market. She wants to marry Charming off to the grain merchant's daughter, to save the farm, since they're running out of options. Charming says, "Mother, please. As poor as we are, love is one thing I can afford. I will find a way to save this farm, but I won't do it by marrying for riches. When I marry, I want it to be because I choose to spend the rest of my life with someone I love." Joshua Dallas must have been afraid we'd miss that nice echo of David's earlier declaration to Mary Margaret, because I could nearly hear him pronounce the italics. Mother: "When are you going to learn you can't have everything?" Rumpy arrives out of nowhere and says, "Well, perhaps we can." Through exposition, we learn the whole Prince and the Pauper deal. When James and Charming were born, the family was barely surviving. They made a deal with Rumpy -- they'd give him one of the babies if he'd save the farm. Ugh.

Sidebar: I hate that the poor people are the ones who made the deal, here. I'd rather have been told a story in which King Charles Widmore gave up one of his heirs, in order to save his kingdom, while poor, childless farmers gave up their only treasure to obtain a baby when they couldn't conceive. No. I don't know why, either, except Widmore already isn't sympathetic, while Charming's mother was, at least until I realized she and her late husband traded away one of their babies to this Trickster. Or, I don't know... perhaps if Papa Charming had traded away one baby to save the other baby's life, comforted at least by the fact that the son he gave up would be raised in great privilege, I would like it better. But this, as it is, just sits wrong with me. Blah.

Anyhow, Mama Charming makes all sorts of excuses and says Papa regretted the deal as soon as he made it, and carried the guilt to his grave. Charming tells his mother to go inside and let him deal with Rumpy. Once they're alone, Rumpy says all Charming has to do is show up, pretend to be James, let Widmore's men slay the dragon, and then Charming can deliver the dragon's head to Midas. King Widmore will make sure Mama Charming never wants for anything again, the farm will be saved and Charming will come home the conquering hero. Charming: "I don't really have a choice, do I?" Rumpy: "Oh, everyone has a choice, dearie. Just make sure it's the right one." Commercial.

Storybrooke, Granny's Diner, Day: Dr. Whale finds Mary Margaret reading the newspaper article about John Doe/David's recovery. Whale hopes that his failure to call Mary after their date didn't cause her to resign from the hospital. As he's leaving, Regina comes in and asks for a word with Mary Margaret, and David. "You don't belong together. He's not yours. He's taken. Find somebody else." Mary says she' hasn't done anything. Regina: "Really, so he just up and left his wife on a limb." Regina is surprised that Mary didn't know, but figures David will soon come to her. Regina tells Mary to stay away from David. "He's in a fragile state. He doesn't know who he is or what he's doing, and you're this close to wrecking multiple lives, so before you do something that can't be undone, let him remember who he was."

Enchanted Forest; Midas's Kingdom, Camp Dragon: Charming fakes being James well enough to fool Midas. After Midas offers encouragement and leaves though, one of Widmore's men points out that Charming hasn't even properly fastened his armor. The knight takes James's gold sword from charming and informs him he will remain outside the cave and let Widmore's men handle the quest. "You might have the title of hero, but not the job."

Dragon's Lair: Two knights remain to guard Charming and tell him James was the bravest man they ever met. It's not long before the dragon screeches at the men who have entered its lair and the fire-breathing begins in earnest. Charming's guards try to keep him from rushing the scene, but Charming can't remain on the sidelines while lives are at stake. He saves those he can, retrieves James's gold sword, lures the dragon into a tight spot and cuts off its head. Hooray!

Storybrooke School: When David shows up to talk to Mary, she tells him she doesn't want to destroy his marriage. David explains he doesn't have any feelings for Kathryn. "She needs someone to feel about her the way I feel about you." Mary: "I'm really trying hard to stay away from you -- to do the right thing [...] you already have a life." David: "With someone I didn't choose. The man who chose that life -- whoever married Kathryn is gone. The man here wants someone else." Mary: "You really have to leave me alone." As the students enter Mary's classroom, she hustles David out the door, so he asks her to meet him, tonight. "At least think about it. I'll be at the bridge where you found me -- at 8 o'clock. Think about it 'til then, then decide. If you don't show, I'll know, and I'll never bother you again, but if you choose this -- if you choose us...you know where I'll be." Aw.

Sheriff's Office: Sheriff Graham arrives with a box from the Storybrooke Donut Shop and cracks that some clichés are true. He's just trying to sweeten up Emma, because while he promised her no night shifts, he wants her to work, tonight. He says he volunteers at an animal shelter and someone's out sick, so he has to feed the dogs. Emma inspects the goodies, grabs one as her way of consenting and says, "Good thing you brought a bear claw."

Mary arrives for another heart-to-heart with Emma. Learning David has left his wife for her has her in a tizzy. Mary tells Emma about David's invitation to meet him tonight at the bridge. She doesn't know how to deal with all this. "I mean, I'm trying so hard to be strong, but he just keeps coming. I mean -- how do I stop it? You know, how do I let him down? What would you do?" Emma says, "I'd go!" Mary's all, "What?" Emma: "He left her. It's one thing to say that he wants you, but it's another to make a choice and now he has. That's all you can ask for." Mary: "Given her new friendship with Kathryn, I don't think Regina would be happy." Emma: "All the more reason to do it." Mary smiles. "Good Lord, is this really happening?" Emma: "You tell me."

Granny's Inn: David returns to his room and fondles his wedding ring, as he looks out the window at the clock tower. It's 7:45.

Enchanted Forest, Midas's Kingdom: King Charles Widmore and Charming present Midas with the dragon's head. Midas knows he's promised Widmore gold, but he wants to sweeten the deal. "I stand before you now, because I dared to dream big. I was not just looking for a dragon slayer. I was looking for the strongest warrior in the land -- a hero, someone who could unite the kingdoms. Someone I would be proud to call family." He then presents his daughter Princess Abigail (played by Anastasia Griffith) to them. She's the blonde Charming is/was with when Snow While ambushes his carriage. Abigail is wearing that same blue gown with the ridiculous white feathered neckline. Anyhow, Midas wants Charming to marry Abigail. While she seems intrigued that Charming killed the dragon, and says he will do, she doesn't seemed overwhelmed with him.

Charming tries to refuse Midas's offer, so Widmore pulls him to the side and hisses in his ear. "If you say anything but yes, you will be responsible for the destruction of everyone and everything in our kingdom. You will marry this girl, or I will kill you. I will kill your mother. I will turn that farm to ash. Do you understand me?" Loud and clear, Chuckles.

Storybrooke Streets, Night: Regina runs into David as he's trying to find his way to the toll bridge. When he says he's meeting someone, Regina says, "So, you've made your choice. [...] Well, I don't suppose I could convince you to change your mind." David says he can't change what he feels, so Regina gives him (mis)directions from Mr. Gold's pawn shop to the bridge. He thanks her as he makes to go. Regina purrs, "Good luck, David. I hope you find what you're looking for."

Bridge: Mary Margaret waits by bridge, bathed in the light of the full moon.

Town: When David gets to Mr. Gold's shop, he can't find where Regina told him to go , so he enters the shop. Among the first items we get a good look at are those creepy puppets that were once Jiminy's parents. There are some steins. There's Aladdin's lamp. A tea set. It's the glass unicorn mobile that once hung over Emma's crib that catches David's eye, though. He's lost in it, when Gold appears and says, "Charming." Ha. David looks up. Gold blathers about the mobile for a moment and then says he's looking for the toll bridge. "The mayor said there was a fork in the road by your shop." Gold: "Seems Ms. Mills has led you astray." David: "Yeah. You'd think the Mayor would know her own town." Gold: "One would think." He gives David directions. David thanks him and turns to leave, but stops dead in his tracks. There's a large wooden windmill replica right in front of him. David asks where Gold got it. Gold says: "That old thing? That's been gathering dust for... forever." Davids spins the blades. He's entranced. "I think.. .this belonged to me." Mr. Gold: "Really? Are you sure?" David says, "Yes." Gold smiles. David: "I remember." Commercial.

Sidebar: It's interesting to me that a windmill is David's false memory trigger, here, because Regina is Regina Mills, and while we've seen her as the Evil Queen in the Enchanted Forest, she's got to be the Miller's Daughter from the Rumpelstiltskin tale. Mills were used for milling grain. Charming's mother wanted to set him up with the grain merchant's daughter. Okay. Just thinking out loud. Commercial's over. That is all.

Enchanted Forest; Charming's Farm: The triumphant Charming arrives home. Mama Charming is thrilled to see him and crows that he looks like a prince. What's that engraved on her necklace? I never get quite a close enough look. Is it a swan? Is that where Emma's last name comes from? Anyhow, Mama thinks Charming is home to stay. He tells her about Midas's plan to unite the kingdom's by marrying Abigail to Charming. "Makes the grain merchant's dowry look like sheep dung." Mama tells him not to do it. She's ashamed she ever encouraged him to anything other than follow his heart. "Your freedom to choose is more important than anything." She's ready to give up the farm, but Charming explains, "Because of our ruse, Midas can never know who I am which means..." Mama finishes -- saying they can never see each other again. She doesn't care if she's killed. She'll lose Charming either way, and she'd rather know that he was happy and free. Charming tells her he didn't come for advice, only to say goodbye. He's already agreed to the deal. Mama Charming takes off her ring and gives it to him. "Give this to your wife-to-be." James says he doesn't know or love Abigail. Mama: "True love follows this ring wherever it goes, my son. I had it with your father. I've had it as your mother. Now you will have it. Take it. Take it and I will know, even if I never see you again -- I know you'll find love. I know you'll be happy." James twirls the ring between his fingers. We cut to...

Storybrooke, Toll Bridge, Night: Mary Margaret twirls the ring around her finger. David runs up, out of breath. "You came!" Mary notes that he sounds surprised, and maybe even almost disappointed. David tells her he remembers everything -- Kathryn. Mary's eyes fill with tears. "And you love her?" David: "I don't know, but I know I did. I remember how I felt, and I think I have to honor that." Mary: "And everything you said to me?" David says it's true. "I do have feelings for you -- intense feelings for you -- feelings I don't quite understand." Mary asks if he's going back to Kathryn. David says it's the right thing to do. Mary struggles to hold back the tears, but they choke her voice, even as they don't fall down her cheeks. "The right thing to do -- was not to lead me on." David: "I know." Mary: "So, you've made your choice." He reaches out for her as he says he's sorry. Mary back away and says, "That's okay. I guess it wasn't meant to be."

Storybrooke Streets, Night: Emma is patrolling in the cruiser, when she spies someone escaping out of a second floor window at the Mayor's house. She pulls over, hopes out of the car and greets the intruder at the end of the driveway. In the stomach. With her billy club. He falls to the ground with a groan. It's Sheriff Graham! Okay, we're not surprised, but Emma sure is. She says, "This is volunteering?" Graham tries to cover. "Plans... changed. Regina needed me to..." Emma says, "Sleep with her?" Graham says, "No." When she asks why he was sneaking out the window, Graham seems to immediately forget that he just lied and answers, "Because.. .she didn't want Henry to know." Emma: "You do this with Henry in the house?" Graham: "He's sleeping. He doesn't know." Emma: "Oh my God. I wish I was Henry right now." Me too, Emma. She adds, "This is disgusting." Yep, except for how they're both hot and all. She tosses Graham the cruiser keys and tells her to finish her shift as she's done working nights.

David arrives home at the Nolan's house and rings the bell. He tells Kathryn he remembers hating the windmill. She wants to know what else he remembers. He knows they weren't in a good place when he left and that while he wanted to work things out, he needed some time. He apologizes and says he knows they have work to do. "Let's see what happens." When Kathryn says she'd like that, he grabs her hand.

Enchanted Forest: Charming holds out his hand for Princess Abigail. She lays her hand in his palm and they walk towards Midas and Widmore. Midas blathers about united kingdoms. Midas tells the betrothed couple to go to his kingdom and their new home. Abigail tells Midas she trusts his judgment. Widmore pulls Charming aside, tells him he's glad he made the right decision and calls him son. Charming hesitates a little, but then shakes Widmore's outstretched hand, and calls him father. Um, hello? I am expecting more hostility here, since he threatened to kill your mother, Charming!

Whenever Abigail looks at Charming, she looks like she's smelling something foul. She whines that she's tired of waiting, so Charming says they'll be on their way. "I thought we might take the scenic route." Abigail snorts and walks off. Widmore tells Charming to smile. "You're on the road to true love." Charming looks over the bag in his had that must contain his mother's ring.

As Charming's white carriage makes its way down the scenic route, Abigail complains, "I told you the Troll Road would have been quicker. Were you even listening to me?" We cut to Snow White, dressed as a highwayman, waiting for the carriage to fall prey to her ambush -- waiting to fall in love with Charming.

Storybrooke, Granny's Diner, Night: Dr. Whale finds Mary Margaret crying at the counter. When she tells him she doesn't feel like talking, he says, "Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone when you don't give a crap what they think." Mary smiles as she continues to spin her ring. "You ever walk into a situation where you know exactly what's going to happen, and then you go into it anyway? And then, when what you're afraid of happens -- you kick yourself, because you should have known better, but that's just who you are, so you keep punishing yourself." Dr. Whale shakes his head. "No." This surprises Mary. "How do you do that?" Whale: "By never doing what's expected. It keeps life interesting. Can I buy you a drink?" Mary: "You can buy me two." Whale smiles as he nods. Fade to black.

Well, I'm gonna go take a whole bunch of over-the-counter drugs and wash them down with even more wine. Hopefully, I'll be conscious again by Sunday night, and will see you Monday morning, with my recaplet of "The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter," which will be the last new episode for a few weeks. Please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the forum, where someday, your prince will come, and hopefully, he'll come with a bottle of MacCutcheon.