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"Not feeling anything is an attractive option, when what you feel sucks." --Emma.
I'm tempted to leave the above as my recaplet and just go drink. In fact, if I didn't have kids, that's exactly what I'd do. I'm just distraught, y'all. They killed Graham in the Storybrooke reality.
I don't really have anything else to say. I watched the episode 3 times in a row, so that I might be inspired to say something, and yet? There's nothing -- nothing except THEY KILLED GRAHAM. I can't even add the South Park-ian "Bastards," after that, because I'm so distraught. I'm giving it an A, for now, but only because it managed to slay me. I may well change that grade after doing the full recap and I may not. Right now, I don't even want to watch this show anymore, but when I manage to stifle my id for more than three seconds, I realize that may well be because the writers did some great work -- in making me care about Graham as a character, in making me buy into the possibility of a Graham/Emma romance, and then in breaking my heart. Maybe. Or maybe I don't want to watch anymore, because it just smells of ass sauteed in feet. I really can't tell.
I don't even know or care what else happened last night, beyond this: Graham kissed Emma. Graham experienced flashbacks from his real life in the Enchanted Forest. Graham is, indeed, the huntsman who spared Snow White's life. Graham ask Mary Margaret if she believes in other lives, and no Mary -- he does not mean reincarnation. She mentions Henry. Graham goes to Henry. They read the book. They learn the huntsman was raised by wolves. There are more flashbacks. And there's this guardian wolf or something that follows Graham in Storybrooke. When Graham touches the wolf, he remembers even more.
I forgot to mention that somewhere back there, Graham foolishly tells Regina about his recovered memories. I yell at my TV. Later, Graham makes clear he feels nothing for Regina. To rub salt in the wound, Emma points out that while Regina blames her for everything, Emma didn't find Henry, he went looking for her, and Emma didn't kiss Graham, he kissed her.
Hell hath no fury like an evil queen scorned, so Regina goes to this crypt, takes Graham's freaking, glowing candy-apple red heart out a hidden box where she's been keeping it (because she removed it in the Enchanted Forest and kept him as a sex slave, after she found out he didn't kill Snow), and crushes it into dust. Graham dies in Emma's arms. I lose the will to live.
There's a whole lot of Evil Queen/Snow White back story in the Enchanted Forest. And apparently? Mary Margaret had an off-screen one night stand with Dr. Whale, but who even cares? They killed Graham. I'll be back with the full recap, ASAP, assuming I regain the will to live, or at least the will to earn my grocery money. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the forum, if you can even talk about this.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!I've started this recap six times, and six times I have deleted it -- a couple of thousand words in. I'll give you writers a moment to gasp in horror, before I continue. Don't fret. I do this all the time. If I don't like what I've written, or if I get stuck, I get rid of the whole thing. My friends who are real writers -- writers who, unlike me, create their own characters and plot -- used to try to counsel me against being so rash. "Just start a new version," they'd say. "You might want to cherry pick from earlier drafts, later on." I just can't. If I hate what I've written, it weighs down on me such that I can't write at all, until I delete the document and empty my Mac's trashcan. Whoosh.
I think I've been hating all over drafts of this recap, because I hate this Horowitzing episode. Wait, that's a lie. This is a fine episode. I just hate the one, truly Kitsisy thing that happens in it. I should warn you. I'm not going to do that thing we recappers sometimes do, where we start writing like we haven't already seen the episode and don't already know what's going to happen. That's right. I'm going to Mother-Horowiting "SPOIL" you right here and now, and I don't want to hear any Bull Kitsis about it, either.
In this episode, this nasty, mean-spirited episode -- writers/creators Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz kill off Sheriff Graham, in Storybrooke. Oh, they act like Regina kills him, but we know the truth, don't we, my pets? I thought I was upset when they defanged Maleficent and bleached her hair. That was child's play. Oh sure, we'll probably see more of Jamie Dornan as the huntsman, when we get flashbacks to the Enchanted Forest. But right now? I don't care. I want my hottie sheriff back. I want him back in Storybrooke. I want him back now. You are not a CW show, Show. You don't exactly have the hottie depth of, let's say, The Vampire Diaries. You can't just indiscriminately kill off our male eye candy. Well, you can, but who's left now? Charming, and that's about it.
Storybrooke, Night, Granny's Diner that Doubles as a Saloon: Sidney (Magic Mirror Guy) is impressed by Sheriff Graham's dart throwing prowess. Even though I love Graham, and am so sorry we're losing him, what kind of Kitsisy dart board is that? Everything inside the triple ring has removed and replaced by a photo of a stag. Anyone could hit that Horowitzer. Graham has hit the deer in the mouth, the heart and the shoulder. I think I'm supposed to be impressed, but you know, I've seen drunks throw three bull's eyes in a row. Heck, I've been a drunk who has hit a bull's eye on more than one occasion.
Emma comes out of a back room and is clearly uncomfortable when she sees Graham, because the last time she saw him, he was sneaking out of Regina's bedroom. When Ruby (Red Riding Hood) asks Emma what she can get her, Emma says, "Nothing," and makes for the door. Graham turns, aims, and throws a dart so it lands on the jamb, right in front of Emma's face. When she's all, "What the hell?" Graham notes she's been avoiding him since the night before... Emma finishes his sentence. "...leaving the Mayor? And yes, that is a euphemism." Well, you can't just say Horowitzing on network TV, during prime time. She doesn't want to have this conversation. It's his life and she doesn't care. When she leaves Granny's, Graham chases after her. He tries to explain away his arrangement with Regina, by saying he doesn't feel anything when he's with her. Oh, like that makes it -- makes you... better? Don't be a piece of Kitsis, Graham.
Emma blasts him for his secrecy, because maybe she just wouldn't have taken the job if she'd known he was involved with Regina, her nemesis. Graham explains: "I didn't want you to look at me, the way you are now." Emma: "Why do you care how I look at you?" Graham says, "Because..." He then grabs her, and kisses her. When their lips meet, he starts to have flashbacks to life in the Enchanted Forest. We see the woods and a wolf one with red eye and one black eye, before Graham jumps away, or maybe Emma pushes him away, since she says, "What the hell was that?" Graham, dazed from the flashback, asks, "Did you see that?" Emma doesn't really listen though. She's still too shocked. "How much have you been drinking? That was way over the line." Graham apologizes and says he needs to feel something. Emma tells him that whatever he's looking to feel, he's not getting it with her. It's okay, Graham. There's a whole fandom full of women, many of who will be glad to let you... feel things.
We cut to the Mayor's house. Graham pounds on the door until Regina answers. When she confirms that Henry is asleep, Grahams starts kissing her, forcefully. They shut the door. We get an exterior shot of that closed door, prominently bearing the number 108 for the Lost fans. Back inside, the kissing grows more heated. We flash to the...
Enchanted Forest: The Evil Queen's Castle is stark, sharp, metallic looking fortress. Like seriously, I hope there aren't any giants around, because they'll put their eyes out on that thing. What shall we call it? Blademoral? Knifingham Palace? Queenie stands at a balcony and... look at her. Lana Parrilla is stunning, in black tail coat and red velvet skirt. The coat has a high beaded collar, and beading adorns the lapels, cuffs and hem. She looks sad as she stares down at a casket covered in red rose petals, below. A weeping Snow comes into view and lays a white rose on top of the red petals. "Goodbye, father." Queenie goes down to meet her, hugs her, and offers her comfort. The women cry over their loss. "I may only be your mother through marriage, but I am here for you, dear -- truly and forever." She's quite convincing here, but I already told you I'm not doing that thing this week, where I pretend I haven't seen the episode. That said, she did fool me, originally. The first time I watched, I expected to learn that this scene took place before Snow did [whatever she did] and Queenie started hating her.
Anyhow, later, Queenie and her guards enter an upper chamber in the palace. Thanks to some expository conversation with the Magic Mirror, we learn that Regina is responsible for her husband's death, and those were not the tears of a mourning widow, but rather, a crocodile. She scoffs about Snow seeking comfort and says she could have killed her right then and there, but the people still love and sympathize with Snow. "They don't know the wretchedness inside her. They don't know what she did to me. We must be delicate in this phase. Her demise must be handled with care."
Magic Mirror originally suggests the Queenie enlist one of her knights, but Queenie wants someone adept at murder and bereft of mercy. The Mirror says, "Someone with no heart." Queenie: "Now you understand." The Mirror says, "Well, in that case, you need a huntsman.
Enchanted Forest, Day: The Huntsman (Graham) shoots a stag with his trusty bow and arrow. He kneels over his kill, tears rolling down his cheeks. "You have died so that I may live." You know, I'm an unapologetic omnivore, but if you're crying over your meat, you should go veggie. Seriously. It's an option. The Huntsman continues: "Your sacrifice is honorable. I thank you." I'm so saying that over my lobster. Just then a wolf growls, but the Huntsman is not alarmed, even though the wolf has one freaky blood red eye. When the wolf nears him, the Huntsman says, "Don't worry, boy. You won't go hungry tonight." You hunt for the wolf? Seriously? See, this is just the writers Horowitzing with our feelings, so that when they kill Graham, later, we'll feel even Kitsisier. Can you hear the talk in the war room? Okay, he's a hunter, but let's make him a sensitive hunter, one who cries over his kill, and talks about its "sacrifice," even though it's not like the deer leapt up and tried to catch the arrow with its chest. Yeah, yeah, and he doesn't kill for himself, really. He kills for his best friend, the wolf. Chicks dig that Kitsis.
Storybrooke, Night: Graham wakes in a sweat, in Regina's bed. He tells her about his dream (and that's what that whole deer/wolf scene was above, so I'm not typing it out, again). When Graham mentions the wolf, Regina is alarmed -- and even more so when Graham says he thinks he's seen the wolf before. Regina tells him to go back to sleep and lies that it was only a dream. Graham: "It didn't feel like a dream, it felt like a memory." She cannot persuade him to stay.
Outside, Graham walks to his cruiser. He drops his keys just as he reaches the car door. When he bends over to pick them up, he's face-to-face with a wolf -- a wolf with one red eye. Graham falls against his car and slides to the ground. Commercial.
Mary Margaret's Hovel, Morning: Emma comes down from the loft and finds a bouquet of flowers lying on the table. She's all "Really?" She picks them up and throws them in the trash despite Mary Margaret's attempt to stop her. Emma: "If Graham thinks flowers will work on me..." Mary rescues the flowers and explains that they're hers -- and they're not from David, but from Dr. Whale. Mary Margaret confesses she had a one night stand with him. Emma thinks it might be more than a one night stand, based on the flowers. Mary: "You know, maybe I shouldn't have called him." Emma says if Mary called him, it's definitely not a one night stand. Mary: "I'm still learning."
Okay, raise your hand if it kind of bothers you that Snow White's counterpart had a one nighter with a guy who had previously spent their one date ogling Ruby? Okay, put your hand down now, unless it bothers you that Snow White's counterpart had a one nighter, at all. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I know all the reasons it shouldn't, but it still does. And yes, I know David is probably sleeping with Kathryn, but I haven't had to see that yet. I would be just as bothered by that -- okay, a little less, but not because he's male, but rather, because he at least thinks he's married to Kathryn. I'm not sure the purpose of Mary Margaret having a one night stand. I guess you can argue that it's just another effect of the curse -- these characters acting contrary to their nature, but honestly, it feels almost like it was done just for the wow factor. Oh great, now all I can hear is Tim Gunn saying, "Major Wow Factor." Anyhow, Mary feels guilty for her one nighter, but Emma tells her not to -- and says that's as far as she ever goes. Mary points out that's because Emma puts up walls. When Emma denies it, Mary reminds her of the "floral abuse" she just committed and says it's clear to her that Emma has feelings for Graham. "That wall of yours -- it may keep out pain, but it also may keep out love." I dunno. Maybe I've had a rough week, but right now, that seems like a fair trade.
Storybrooke, Woods: A wolf howls as Graham runs through the woods, his face shiny with sweat, but not like sexy sweat, or even athletic sweat -- just sick sweat. When he hears noises coming from the brush, he stops. Mr. Gold appears in view. He's wearing a black apron over his suit, and has his cane in his right hand and a shovel in his left. He claims to be doing a "spot of gardening." Right. In the woods. Is that where you plant the dead babies and pray that they'll turn into a baby tree, so you can make all the deals you want, without middle-women?
Graham is looking for a wolf, but Gold tells him as far as he knows, there are no wolves in Storybrooke. Graham says he saw one in his dreams, and then saw one for real, just a few hours ago. He asks Gold if he's seen anything unusual. Gold looks at his shovel for a moment and then says that he hasn't, although he wishes he could be more helpful. Then he says the most interesting thing, yet. "You know, Sheriff, they say that dreams -- dreams are memories -- memories of another life." Graham: "What do you believe." Gold: "I never rule out anything. Good luck, Sheriff. I do hope you find what you're looking for." Do you?
Enchanted Forest: The Huntsman and his wolf enter an inn. The other patrons have a loud, passive-aggressive conversation about how the Huntsman cries over his kills, smells like wolves and was raised by them, to boot. One asshat approaches and asks flat out -- what kind of man cries over an animal. The Huntsman: "An honorable one." Asshat: "What do you know about honor?" Huntsman: "I have it. They have it. You don't." He goes on about how animals are pure of heart, rather than selfish and self-serving like people. The wolf growls at Asshat. Asshat tells the Huntsman, "You tell him, stop threatening me, 'cause you know what I do to pets that threaten me?" He draws out a dagger and adds, "I hang 'em on my wall." The Huntsman rises to his feet and stabs Asshat. "He's not a pet." Another patron comes at the Huntsman. People scream. The Huntsman knocks him out. A third guy goes to take on the Huntsman, but then changes his mind. The Huntsman considers his own reflection in a shard of broken glass and we jump to...
Knifingham Palace: Queenie must have watched this all play out on the Magic Mirror. She purrs that the Huntsman is perfect. "Bring him to me." No. No. Bring him to me.
Storybrooke: Graham continues to run through the forest. Finally he happens upon the wolf, who all but wags his tail at him. Graham yells, "What do you want." The wolf whines and starts to walk away. Graham whistles and calls him back. The wolf finally approaches. Graham reaches down and pats his head. The flashbacks come again. Enchanted Forest. Snow White holding two apples. A dagger. A carving of two trees on the lintel of a crypt. Graham snaps out of it and looks around, but the wolf is gone.
Storybrooke School: When the bell rings, and the children leave the classroom, Graham asks Mary Margaret if they can talk and says he thinks they know each other. Mary: "Of course we do." Graham: "No, no, no. Not from here. Not from Storybrooke." Mary: "From where, then?" Graham: "Another life." Commercial.
Enchanted Forest, Knifingham Palace: Now Queenie is in full deep, rich red velvet, with a black lace bodice and waist. She asks the Huntsman if he has a name or if she should just call him "The Huntsman." When he doesn't answer, she comments on how tortured he is, just because his parents abandoned him to the wolves. Huntsman: "Those were my parents. All they did was give birth to me. The wolves are my family." Queenie thinks this is hot. She blathers on about wolves and sheep, and says he's definitely a wolf. She tells him she wants him to kill for her. In exchange, she'll give him a place on her court. Huntsman: "I'm not interested in being a pet. This place is a cage." Queenie wants someone without compassion -- someone who will have no qualms about carving a heart out and bringing it back for her collection. And, we'll later learn she's being literal. The Huntsman will do it, if she outlaws the hunting of wolves. "They're to be left alone. They're to be protected."
Storybrooke School: Graham asks Mary Margaret how long they've known each other and when they met. She can't remember, of course, so he points out he can't remember how he met anyone. She says, "That's just life. Things get hazy." He then asks if he ever hurt her. She tells him of course not and asks what's going on. He wants to know if she believes in other lives. Mary: "You mean like heaven?" Graham: "I mean like past lives." Mary: "You've been talking to Henry." I swear there was a line about reincarnation in here. Maybe my brain subbed it in for heaven. When Graham doesn't get the Henry-connection, Mary explains about the book and Henry's theory that they're all characters from the book -- that they're all originally from another land and have forgotten their true idenities. Mary: "Which of course makes no sense." Graham pays lip service to the denial. Mary notices how rough he looks and tells him he's burning up. He should go get some sleep. I agree. He is hot and should go to bed, right now. What?
Enchanted Forest: The Huntsman walks Snow White through the woods. She thinks they're going to the "Summer Palace" which can't be Knifingham, right? When she offers the Huntsman one of her apples, he refuses. He can't really look her in the eye. Snow then takes a good look at him, realizes he isn't a knight, and that Queenie must have hired him to kill her. Huntsman: "You have good instincts." Snow: "And you have too much armor." Using a branch, she whacks him to the ground and runs off.
Sheriff's Office: Regina slithers in, looking for Graham. Emma snarks something about being surprised he isn't spending his sick day with Madame Mayor. Regina is pleased Emma knows about them, as she has something to say about Emma and Graham's relationship. Emma denies there is one. Regina says she has eyes everywhere. There's more bitchery and then finally, Regina warns Emma to stay away from Graham. She says Emma is putting thoughts in his head that will ultimately lead to Graham's destruction. Sob.
Mayoral Mansion: Henry answers the door to find Graham. He's there to ask about Henry's book. "Am I...in it?" Commercial.
Enchanted Forest: Instead of running for her life, Snow White is sitting on a log, writing a letter, when the Huntsman finds her. Her explanation? "I don't know these woods. You're obviously a skilled hunter. You'll find me. No matter what I do, I know how this ends. [...] There's one thing that I was ask that you do after you kill me. Please deliver this to the Queen. [...] Tell her I mean every word." The Huntsman reads it over, um... just like the wolves taught him to? When he's done, a tear trickles down his cheek. He pulls out his knife and plunges it into some sort of plant stem or whatever. He hands it to Snow and explains that it's a whistle. She is to run, and if she ever needs help, she should blow the whistle. She's confused at first, because she expects him to kill her, but he just tells her to run.
Storybrooke, Henry's Room: Henry turns the page in his book and asks Graham when his flashes first began. Graham: "Right after I kissed Emma." Henry: "You kissed my mom?" Audience: "And he's been Horowitzing your other mom!" Graham gives Henry some flashback details: wolf, knife, Mary Margaret. Henry asks if Graham was going to hurt Mary Margaret. Surprised, Graham admits he was, and asks how Henry knew. Henry flips through the pages. "Because Mary Margaret is Snow White, which makes you the Huntsman." Henry says it makes sense. "You were raised by wolves. That's why you keep seeing one. It's your friend -- your guide. It's trying to help you." Graham wonders why Emma's kiss caused him to remember. Henry: "Well, you two do have a special connection. She owes you her life. Snow White's her mother and you spared her. If you hadn't, my mom wouldn't have been born." Graham: "What happened after I spared Snow White?" Henry: "The Queen took your heart. She ripped it out. It's kind of her thing. She never wanted you to be able to feel, again." Graham's eyes go wide. "Let me see that book." There's an illustration of Queenie standing before the crypt I mentioned in an earlier flashback. Henry tells Graham, "That's her vault. That's where she put your heart." Graham nods. "The wolf wants me to find it. Thank you, Henry."
Emma is waiting when Graham gets outside and says everyone pretty much says he's having a rough day. When he says he's fine, she points out that he just went to a 10 year old, for help. Graham: "He's the only one making any sense." When Emma asks what's going on, Graham says, "It's my heart, Emma, I need to find it. [...] I just need to follow the wolf. [...] from my dreams -- he's gonna help me find my heart." Emma winces as she apologizes. "I thought we were talking in a metaphor, here. You really think you don't have a heart?" Graham says that's the only thing that makes any sense, especially since he doesn't feel anything. Well, I would argue he feels his big old crush on Emma, but that's neither here nor there.
Emma tells Graham she can prove he has a heart. She closes in on him and lays her hand on his chest. As she looks in his eyes, she tells him it's beating and it's real. She then raises Graham's hand to his own chest so he can feel for himself. Graham says that's just the curse. Emma: "You can't really believe that's true." But then her eyes grow wide. Graham turns to see what she's looking at. It's the wolf. Graham runs off after it. Emma runs off after him. The wolf leads them to a cemetery, and finally to a mausoleum. It has the same engraving that was in Henry's book and Graham's flashes. I thought it was two trees with branches intertwining, but when Emma looks up and asks what it is, Graham says, "It's my heart. It's in there." Um really? Commercial.
Mausoleum, Interior: After breaking in, Emma and Graham look around. We flash to...
Enchanted Forest, Knifingham Palace: Queenie is all decked out in black, now, and is wearing the black leather pants of unrepentant evil. She cuts short the chit chat and asks if Snow is dead. I wouldn't tell her anything until I found out why she trained those two wispy bangs to look like a well-rounded W (the letter, not the former President, because that would be even weirder). The Huntsman says he has the heart, but he wants Queenie to read the letter, first. It reads...
Dearest Step-Mother, by the time you read this, I will be dead. I understand that you will never have love in your life because of me, so it's only fitting that I be denied that same joy, as well. For the sake of the kingdom, I hope my death satisfies your need for revenge, allowing you to rule my father's subjects as they deserve -- with compassion and a gentle hand. I know what you think you're doing is vengeance. I prefer to think of it as sacrifice, for the good of all. With that in mind, I welcome the end. I want you to take my last message to heart. I'm sorry and I forgive you.
Queenie rips the letter out of the Huntsman's hand and tosses it in the fire then yells, "Don't tell me you're becoming a sheep." The Huntsman says, "She put others before herself and yet you hate her. What did she do to you?" Queenie: "I shared a secret with her, and she couldn't keep it, and that betrayal cost me dearly. Now, show me her heart!" Ooh, I wonder what it was? Graham removes a bag from his shoulder. He should always wear this leather outfit, by the way. I mean, if we can't have him in Storybrooke any more, and we can only have him in the Enchanted Forest, well then, he should wear this, all the time. Who's with me?
Queenie takes a box out of the Huntsman's bag, and opens it to confirm it holds a heart. She then carries the box to this wall full of vaults. She holds the heart-in-a-box up in front of the vaults, but none of them open, so she inspects the heart more closely. Picking it up in her bare hand, she marches over to the Huntsman. "This isn't her heart. This isn't a human heart. What did you do?
Storybrooke, Crypt: Graham looks around for a hidden door or lever, or something. Emma just watches as if he's having a nervous breakdown. Finally, she tells him there's nothing there, but that everything will be okay. From outside, Regina yells, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" She's there with flowers in hand, claiming that she brings them to her dad's grave, every Wednesday. She tries to convince Graham to go home. He says, "I don't want to go home -- not with you." Regina: "Oh? But you'll go with her?" Emma wants to be left of out of it. Graham tells Regina it has nothing to do with Emma. And then he says the best thing ever. "It's not me. It's you." I'm married now, and have been for a long time, but you know, if things ever don't work out, I'm totally saying that. Anyhow, when Regina can't believe Graham would leave her for Emma, he corrects her. He's leaving Regina for his own sake. "I'd rather have nothing than settle for less. Nothing is better than what we have. I need to feel something, Regina, and the only way to do that is to give myself a chance. [...] I'm sorry. It's over."
Regina turns her wrath on Emma. "You keep coming after everything I hold dear." When Graham tries to defend Emma, Regina says, "None of this happened until she got here." Emma finally weighs in. "I'm sorry, but have you ever stopped to think that maybe the problem isn't with me, but with you? [...] Henry came and found me. Graham kissed me. Both were miserable. Maybe, Madame Mayor, you need to take a good, hard look in the mirror and ask why that is. Why is everyone running away from you?" And then the another great thing happens. Regina hauls off and punches Emma. I mean really punches her. I saw someone refer to this as a cat-fight, but it's no cat-fight, it's just a fight, and it rocks. Emma returns the favor and then shoves Regina up against the crypt. Graham breaks it up. Emma walks past Regina and says, "Not worth it." I'm not sure she's right about that. Once she's gone, Regina looks to Graham, but he walks off, too. Commercial.
Sheriff's Office: While Graham tends to Emma's battle scars, he apologizes. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me -- how I lost my mind." Emma says, "It's okay. You were tired, and feverish and...heart-broken." Graham: "I don't know why I let myself get caught up with her." Emma says, "Because it was easy and safe. Not feeling anything is an attractive option, when what you feel sucks." Wordy McSuck. Graham swabs at the cut near Emma's eye and she jumps a little when it stings.
Mausoleum Mills: Regina stands over her father's casket (well, I guess it's a vault that contains the casket, but it's a casket-shaped vault, not a post-office-boxy heart vault). The plaque on it reads Henry Mills, Beloved Father. She lays her bouquet atop it, and then her gloved hand slides down the side. Pushing with both hands and all her weight, Regina moves the casket aside to reveal a hidden staircase.
Enchanted Forest, Knifingham Palace: Queenie rants at the Huntsman for trying to fool her with the heart of a stag. He tells her Snow doesn't deserve to die. Queenie: "That's not up to you. I wanted a heart, and a heart I shall have." She reaches in his chest and pulls out his heart. It's candy apple red and sort of crystalline looking. The Huntsman leans against the wall and says, "What are you going to do to me?" I think she just did it, sugar pants. Queenie kisses him, forcefully. "You're now mine, my pet." She holds the heart up to a vault. It magically opens. "And this is your cage. From this moment forward, you will do everything that I say, and if you ever disobey me -- if you ever try to run away, all I have to do is squeeze." When she squeezes his heart, the Huntsman falls to the floor in agony. Finally Queenie calls for her guards. They pick the Huntsman up off the floor. Queenie: "Your life is now in my hands. Forever." She gives her guards their orders. "Take him to my bedchamber." So... sex slavery for the win? She places the Huntsman's heart in a vault and slams it shut.
Storybrooke, Mausoleum Mills: Regina descends the secret staircase and there's the Mother-Horowitzing row of vaults. She is not a light packer, eh? Regina opens the one containing the Huntsman's heart. It's still candy apple red and glowing.
Sheriff's Office: Graham and Emma are having a moment. She smiles at him and rises to her feet. Her eyes tear up the tiniest bit and they kiss. Graham flashes back. Stag he cried over in the Enchanted forest. The wolf. The arrow. Queenie. Snow and her apples. The letter. His knife. Making the whistle for Snow. Queenie burning up Snow's letter. Queenie ripping out his heart. He stumbles backward. Only his desk holds him up. Emma says, "Graham?"
Mausoleum Mills: Regina holds up the heart before her.
Sheriff's Office: Graham: "I remember." Emma says, "You remember what?"
Mausoleum Mills: Regina is still holding up that heart.
Sheriff's Office: Graham takes Emma's face in his hands. "Thank you." He moves in to kiss her.
Mausoleum Mills: Regina starts to squeeze.
Sheriff's Office: Graham falls to the floor. Emma yells his name and falls on her knees to him. She tries to shake him back to consciousness.
Mausoleum Mills: Regina squeezes until the heart disintegrates into dust and spills to the crypt floor. One tear is stalled, just under her left eye. And I have been meaning to mention this from the pilot, but you Lost fans all recognize the actress as one of the guards from the Looking Glass Station, right?
Sheriff's Office: Emma listens for breath sounds, shakes Graham and sobs his name. She doesn't perform CPR, which really cheeses off some of the people on the boards, but it's only been a minute or so, in her time, so I am cutting her some slack. We fade to black. I am still bereft and have nothing to add, except this. I gave Horowitz and Kitsis a hard time this week, but I did it, because they did their jobs. They made me feel. They made me care. They gave me something lovely and took it away. They hurt me. Episodes like this give me strong hope for the second part of this season, one-nighters and all. Bring on the pain, boys.
That's it for a few weeks, my pets. I hope you have a happy Hanukkah, a Merry Christmas, and/or anything else you celebrate, and a good New Year to you all. I'll catch you on the flip side. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the forum, if you can even talk about this Horowitzing Kitsis.