Hey, Niki, here's hoping you are having a kick-ass vacation. Thanks for letting me cover. I had a lot of fun. It's nice recapping a show that I actually like once in a while. Anything is better than The Craptice.
Backstage. Grace is doing breathing exercises. They are deep "who-who-who-who"-sounding breaths. She flips her hair back behind her neck and looks at her reflection in the mirror. Ah, opening night. It's always so damn stressful. The backstage of the school auditorium looks just like Fame. All the actors have their own individual dressing stations. Tad sprays some hairspray. Grace bitches for a minute. The credits roll underneath Grace as she grabs her costume. One girl says, "Break a leg." Sarah the Snark says, "Break two!" And when the other girl admonishes her for being so catty, Sarah barks, "I was only kidding."
Front of House. Jake stands against a wall as Zoe and Lily come up to him. Zoe grabs the program and starts looking for her sister's name. Inside the auditorium, Karen climbs over about eighteen people to get to her own seat.
Backstage. Mr. Dimitri holds a rolled-up cue sheet and taps it on a stage manager's head as he whispers, "Go." Twinkly music plays along in the background. The stage manager looks like he was one of the original cast members of Fame. He's that old. Dude, this school can hire professional stage managers to cue their performances? Sure. A red light flashes. More freaked-out teenagers flutter about with their costumes. Grace screams, "Is it zipped? Is it zipped?" A second stage manager whistles -- one of those great two-fingers-in-the-mouth kind of whistle that I could never ever learn how to do no matter how I tried.
Front of House. The house lights are down. Lily, Zoe, and Jake have all taken their places. Okay, two spotlights come up on stage where there are teenagers playing bongos. Yes. Bongos and Shakespeare. It's an original re-visioning of As You Like It. Ouch. Honestly, it's kind of pretentious. Shakespeare's rolling around and around in his grave. The stage lights come up on a set that sort of looks like a park. It's green. There are fake trees. I'm supposing this is the forest of Arden. Or at least that's what the Riverside Shakespeare tells me. The audience claps. Dimitri takes a deep breath. Damn, there are real stage lights coming up all over the place. How big a budget does the Drama department at this school have? This is one hell of an expensive production.
Backstage. Grace waits in the wings. She's wearing a '60s-style wool suit and pearls. And she's holding a handbag, like the kind your grandmother would always give you to use during dress-up. Grace smiles from ear to ear as she steps out on stage. Rosalind and Celia. Blah, Shakespeare lines, blah.
Backstage. Jessie struggles with her costume. Sarah pulls it down and fastens it behind her. Jessie: "How am I supposed to walk in this?" Sarah: "You just walk." Ragdoll: "Did they have a dress rehearsal that should have dealt with all costume issues?" Come on, there's no way anyone in the cast would have gotten to opening night without a dress rehearsal in costume.
Onstage. Grace reads a line, blah man's apparel, blah. Then she rushes off stage, looks at herself in a mirror, moves behind the curtain, sees Tad looking at her, and pulls the curtain tightly across the rod so he can't watch her change.
Back onstage, Jessie comes in for her first cue. Her gigantic poodle skirt gets caught on the scenery. She walks, and it moves. She walks again, it moves again. Oh, that's horrible. I'm blushing for her. Kudos to Jessie; she just carries on with her lines as someone comes and unhooks her skirt. The audience laughs. Zoe asks if that was supposed to happen. Fade to a moonlit stage. More kids pontificate over Shakespeare. As You Like It is condensed like Tom Stoppard's Fifteen-Minute Hamlet, only not half as witty. Blah, the end of the play, blah. Grace curtsies, and then she bids farewell. She bends and the audience claps. The stage lights fade. Karen looks delighted. Jake gives them a standing ovation. Everyone gives them a standing ovation. Ah, it was a roaring success.
Backstage. Dimitri is giving his cast their notes. He asks Orlando (Tad) only to come onstage for the scenes he's actually in. Celia was excellent. "Let's see...who else?" Grace stands expectantly. Dimitri looks right past her. "Phoebe! Where's Phoebe?" Jessie comes out from behind the dressing curtain, saying, "Right here!" He asks what happened with her dragging the set around behind her. Jessie: "Well, my costume is a little big." Sarah doesn't think Jessie should blame the costume. Then, Dimitri asks Sarah to do something to Jessie's skirt, and she whines about having to both do costumes and play Audrey. Oh, and then she throws in something about having a "medically diagnosed ulcer." Dimitri demands that the costume be fixed, and then compliments Jessie, telling her that her work was "really very good." Katie, Sarah's friend, comes rushing toward Jessie, gushing that she was just amazing. Except she was talking to Sarah, so Jessie does a kind of uncomfortable smile, pulls her arms tight around her, and looks at the two girls. Katie turns around, sees Jessie, and tells her she was also amazing. Mr. Dimitri tells everyone that they'll need to be back the night half an hour before curtain. The kids rush out to meet their adoring public. Tad gets a compliment because, apparently, his work has really grown. Still, Grace stands like a two-year-old awaiting the mall Santa. She approaches Dimitri, who says, "Mm hmm," and asks if he wanted to say anything to her about the performance. Blank look. "Like what?" She doesn't know. He doesn't have anything to say, so Grace keeps on talking. "Oh, God! When she dragged that tree?" I think I could spend hours psychoanalyzing Grace's treatment of Jessie. Okay, so she dragged a tree, big deal, it's a high-school drama production. But you don't blather on to your teacher about it -- especially if it's your stepsister who was the one dragging the damn tree. Grace needs to find some class. And then she needs to stop talking to the teacher like they are bosom buddies. Before Dimitri has a chance to continue the conversation, Zoe comes bounding backstage as only Zoe can bound. Blah, you were great, blah. Lily follows Zoe and then hands Grace a bouquet of really beautiful roses. I always loved that custom. It was my favourite part of performing. Any. Way. Blah, honey you were great, blah. Grace thanks her mother and then asks, "Where's Eli?" Not "Where's my dad?" but "Where's my sullen, surly, attitudinally challenged stepbrother?" Now it's Freud's turn to psychoanalyze. I'm steering clear of this one.
Manning Manor. Lily, Rick, Zoe, and Jess are in the kitchen for a little late-night ice cream snack. Zoe exclaims, "They were both so good." Rick isn't surprised. Ah, Rick. Zoe just can't believe Eli didn't come to the performance. Blah, he had to work, blah. Jessie moans about her costume destroying the entire set. Lily says that it really didn't. Apparently, Karen thought it was a part of the performance. Eli, who was skulking in the background somewhere, appears to say, "Mom was there?" Jessie: "Like she'd miss opening night." Eli says that maybe he'll go tomorrow night. Rick slaps his son on the leg, and banters, "Ah, we'll go together." Oh, Grace is there, too. She's leaning up against the counter. She and Eli are the symbolic outsiders this week. Lily wanted to meet Tad and to congratulate Mr. Dimitri. I guess she completely missed him when she walked right by him backstage. Well, Grace thinks her mother can see her teacher on closing night. Lily intones, "He must have been very pleased." Grace smirks as she takes the bowl of ice cream Lily hands her. "Was he pleased?" Ah, Lily, her intuition always amazes me. She's a SuperMother sometimes. Grace sits down and snots, "I really have no idea. And I actually don't care." Except she does. A lot. Blah, Mr. Dimitri isn't God, blah. Eli's had enough of this scene, and announces he's going to bed. Rousing chorus of "goodnight." Grace continues her all-about-me soliloquy: "What actually matters is whether or not I'm pleased with myself." Apparently, this is the "right" attitude to have, because Lily, Queen of the Me, responds by saying, "You're absolutely right." Zoe's no fool, though, and wants to know exactly what Mr. Dimitri said. Grace lets the music do the talking as we fade to black.
Eli's Den of Sin. Grace stands at the door knocking very, very loudly. You can tell she's rather impatient. She huffs and puffs and looks at her watch. Eli finally opens the door. Loud music plays. Grace bitches, "Do you have any idea how long I've been out here?" He sort of wiggles his face at her. "Long?" Good answer. "Never mind," Grace whines. "Can you just come now, please?" Eli wants to know where. Apparently, he's driving Grace to school on the way to work. Where's Jessie? Why doesn't she get a ride, too? Eli stumbles around a bit, turns the music off, and practically falls over his bed. He throws the keys to Grace, and mumbles, "I think you'd better drive." Grace catches the keys mid-flight and notices a rather large roach clip burning in a glass ashtray. Ah, wake and bake. What a lost concept to my own adulthood. I mourn its passing. Never one to miss the obvious, Grace wants to see Eli's pupils. Then she snarks, "Obviously, I'd better drive." Eli snots back, "Yeah, obviously," and then continues to root around in the mess beside his bed. Grace isn't pleased with his actions or his answer, and retorts, "That's right, turn away in shame." Hey, come on, he's just looking for his shoes. Grace Goody Two Shoes exclaims, "Your eyes are all bloodshot!" And I don't honestly think she could tell because (a) his back is to her and (b) she's totally all the way on the other side of the room. Hey, and Eli could slap some Visine into those eyes and they'd be good to go in no time. Not that I'm advocating driving while baked by any means. Eli defends himself: "That's called normal morning blood." Grace bitches some more about Eli getting high in the morning. Which, if her point was that it's a wasted high...well, I might agree with her, but come on, give the guy a break; he is doing you a favour by driving your sorry, whiny ass to school. Eli takes offense to starting his day with plenty of criticism. Hey, how about we add "Your band sucks and you're wearing too much black eyeliner" to the mix? Grace just wants to go. Eli huffs and ties his shoe. Oh. He's. So. Tortured.
The School. A bell rings. Katie comes up to Jessie with a newspaper in her hand, asking if she's seen the review. But just as Jessie gets a look at it, Sarah -- who is reminding me more and more of Cordelia in Margaret Atwood's Cat's Eye -- comes up to the two of them complaining about a teacher named Binder. Sarah starts talking only to Katie, waving her arms in Jessie's face, and making in-joke kind of conversation. Jessie looks a little uncomfortable. Katie explains what happened in their Western Civilization class, and stops Sarah's strange re-enactment with a curt "I know." Then she continues to show Jessie the review in the school paper, which is good, describing Grace as poised and in total control. Sarah sulks. The teenagers do a lot of pouting in this show. Of course, Sarah can't help telling Jessie that the paper mentions the fact that her costume got stuck on the scenery. In response, Jessie bangs her head on her locker. Katie tries to make her feel better by saying that when Jessie started singing, everyone forgot about the scenery tug. Sarah: "But, come on, it was so funny, I don't think anybody's ever going to forget about it." Ouch. Why are teenage girls so nasty to one another? Not a single woman I know escaped this sort of thing growing up. I had this one friend who used to make me walk behind her and my other friends on our way home. Honestly, I was being punished -- who knows for what? It continued like this all through junior high and then, two years ago, this girl turned up as my neighbour here in Toronto. And every time I saw her walking her squawking little dog I wanted to scream. Right. The recap. That's what I'm doing here. Okay, Jessie wants to make sure Sarah's going to fix her costume for tonight's performance. Sarah's response: "Well, gee, Jessie, it's always got to be about you, doesn't it?" Cow. Jessie looks really, really uncomfortable, until Sarah announces she was kidding, making a joke about as funny as sitting on a red-hot poker that just escaped the fireplace. Katie puts her hand on Jessie's shoulder and says, "Don't worry, Sarah can fix it. She can fix anything."
Backstage. Jessie is wearing the poodle skirt. Katie doesn't understand why it's her costume in the first place. Sarah barks at Jessie not to move because she's pinning the bottom. Katie tugs, "I see Phoebe in something hotter." Sarah pulls back: "The concept is that she's innocent." Katie yanks: "A really short skirt can be innocent -- plus it's more '60s." Sarah jerks back: "Well, people also wore skirts like this in the '60s, constantly. I looked it up." The two girls are playing a kind of tug-o-war with Jessie, who just looks incredibly uncomfortable, especially after Sarah barks, "Can you please stop shifting your weight?" Only Jessie hasn't done or said anything. Jessie: "I didn't even know that you two knew each other." In a very Heavenly Creatures moment, Sarah says, "So if you knew Katouschka was my best friend you would have sucked up to me a little bit more, huh?" Then Katie insists, again, that Sarah is kidding, because, man, that girl is quite harsh. Jessie wants to know what the hell "Katouschka" means. Apparently, the two have Russian names for one another. , they'll be dreaming of big plastiscine models and plotting to kill their mothers. Katie says, "What should Jessie's Russian name be?" Sarah gives her a look that would wilt a plant, doesn't answer Katie, and then tells Jessie to take off her costume. Sarah wants to get something to eat. Katie doesn't want to hear about her stomach anymore. Jessie wishes the two of them would work out whatever it is they need to work out. As the two warring girls leave, Katie calls back for Jessie to come on, but, of course, they can't leave the room without Sarah making some crack -- in this case, it's "Try not to get stuck on any trees."
Eli arrives at work carrying coffee and scones. He tries the door, only it's a pull-out instead of a pull-in. A blond Babe-in-Waiting opens the door the right way and starts chastising the poor fellow for taking so long with the coffee. She wants to know what the heck took him so long. He explains that there was a line. She doesn't buy it. She's done the coffee run, and it never takes that long. The two walk down the hallway. She tries to grab the coffee, and says, "You know what? I think you're better off not going in there right now, okay?" Eli: "What? Are you kidding me?" They struggle with the coffee. I'm imagining one of them pulling, then releasing, and seeing coffee spill crap all over the pristine white walls of the recording studio. BIW wants Eli to be more "proactive" today. God, I hate that word. I hate the connotation of that word. I hate everything about that word. Eli says, "More pro-what?" The big boss comes over, tells BIW to deal with the coffee, and then pulls Eli aside. It's not looking good for Eli. It's never good when the boss pulls you aside like that. Eli rambles on about traffic, about screwing up something about a tape, and then says he'll try to do better in the little while. He knows he can do a better job. Without a pause, the Boss says, "You're fired." Just like that. As easily as asking, "How're you?" or "What's going on?" Rightfully, Eli is a little stunned. The Boss continues, "It's just not working out, Eli. I want to respect you enough to be completely honest with you." "Proactive"? "Respect" and "completely honest"? Don't worry Eli; this looks like a pretty sucky place to work anyway. ["Since when do respect or honesty have anything to do with the recording industry?" -- Wing Chun] Should Eli finish out the day? Um, nope, he gets to leave right now. BIW stands behind the glass doors and watches Eli go.
Between then and now, BIW has managed to leave work, drop by Eli's, remove all of her clothes, and have a quick roll in the hay; she is now starting to pull her clothes back on again. She wants Eli to help her with her bra. Ah, she's a woman. She really is, honest -- the lacy black bra tells me so. Eli sits up in bed and says, "What?" Not to the bra-putting-on bit, but to something BIW said before we entered the scene. She says, "Don't worry, I handled it." He leans forward, does up her bra for her, and then whines, "I don't believe this. I can't catch a break." Now, she's moved on to the full-leg sock-type tights. Up goes one. Up goes the other. All the while, she's trying to convince the young stud that she handled the "situation." Eli continues to worry: "No. You don't understand. That's my mother. She's a lawyer. She probably figured out I got fired instantaneously." Hey, Eli, don't worry -- BIW covered for you, and according to her, she's "extremely believable." Yeah, especially when she tells people her hair is "really" that colour and that those breasts are "real." Yawn. BIW can go now. Except that Eli wants the whole story. What exactly did BIW say to Karen? BIW: "That you left work early." Now, there's a good cover story. He moans that her story's not very believable. She shoves him and says, "It was!" Blah, you don't know my mother, blah she had to pick the day I get fired, blah. BIW continues her brilliant exposition on the matter of leaving work early. And come on -- Karen wasn't checking up; she just wanted to take Eli to the play. Which, of course, signals the "oh shoot" portion of the episode in which Eli, master of the messing-up-his-life archetype, moans, "The play." BIW tells him to go; she thinks it'll "cheer him up." Only he was supposed to be there now, and considering he's half-dressed, chances are he's not going to make it on time. Blah, where's my barrette, blah. More dressing. All of her clothes seem to pull on, tie up or button together. Nothing actually has to go over her head. It's kind of strange actually. Eli: "So, what do we do now?" He still wants to see BIW even though they're not working together anymore. Boy, is he having a bad day, because she, too, "respects" him enough to tell him the truth: it's over. Blah, he wants it to be sugarcoated, blah fake kissy-kiss, blah. Goodbye, BIW, don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Backstage. Grace is in her usual position before her mirror. The door opens, and Mr. Dimitri appears. Before coming into the room, he asks if everyone's decent. Grace calls out, "Yeah! It's just me. Everyone else is late." Of course they are. Dimitri calls the rest of the cast "worms." Okay, it's a half an hour to curtain and no one -- not a stage manager, not a set person, not a single cast member other than Grace is there? Please. Grace wants to know if Dimitri has seen "the paper." Dimitri thinks there might be actual news he's missing. Grace continues to fiddle with her hair. She smiles, and explains that she's talking about the school newspaper: "We got a rave review." Dimitri puts some more clothes down and says, "That's nice." Grace continues, "They said really nice things about -- " (Insert the requisite prompting her teacher to talk about her performance here.) "...everyone. You should read it." Blah, he's so great, blah he doesn't read reviews, blah he's a mysterious artist, blah crap, blah. Grace: "You don't? Even when it's positive?" Well, according to Dimitri, those are the worst kind. He smiles condescendingly at her, grumbles something along the lines of "where the heck is everyone?" and leaves the dressing room.
Backstage. Everyone is here now. Jessie's costume is way, way too big for her. She tries talking to Sarah, who barks, "Well, maybe you lost weight." Everyone looks at Jessie in that "you know she has a problem about her weight so why would you say that?" kind of way. Jessie stomps off, and Sarah follows her. A stage managers whispers, "Cue 86, go now!" We're mid-performance, because Grace has her fake beard on.
Onstage. Grace does some serious overacting. She weeps, on cue. She whines, on cue. She does that whole Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare in Love cadence thing when she speaks. Blah, she's a man, blah. This scene is actually painful to watch. Rosalind, dressed as a man, is moaning about the man she loves, but because of the whole charade, she can't let him know her feelings. Grace is stiff and her sentences come out all choppy. It's like she's just trying way, way too hard.
The token front-of-house glimpse is of Rick glancing at Karen across the auditorium. She looks captivated.
Stage Right. Cue the girls' semi-fight. Sarah says, "You know you're not the star of this show." Jessie responds, "I know." Sarah: "I don't see anyone else complaining about their costumes." Jessie: "Because their costumes fit!" The stage manager shushes Sarah, and she stomps off in a fit.
After the performance, Katie pushes right past Rick to get backstage. He walks up to Karen, who is getting her coat from the check, and says, "Wow!" They talk about how great Jessie was, only their conversation seems more like one distant relatives might have if they hadn't seen each other in years -- not at all like two people who used to be married. Rick gets his coat. Karen compliments Grace. Rick asks if they were supposed to meet their daughter backstage. Karen doesn't know. They stand awkwardly for a minute. Karen: "I was hoping I might see Eli here tonight." Ah, apparently Lily called during intermission to tell Rick that he had a hard day. Karen: "What?" Blah, he was supposed to meet me here, blah. Karen thinks that's odd. "Why is that odd?" Rick asks. Well, because she stopped by the recording studio and BIW told her that Eli went home early. The two start bickering about the fact that Eli's probably lost his job. Rick wants to give his son the benefit of the doubt. Karen thinks he got fired. Before the two of them can start fighting too much about it, Jessie comes out to greet them. Blah, wonderful, blah. She complains about her costume woes. Rick hands her a gorgeous bunch of roses. He asks where Grace is, and Jessie explains that she's rehearsing with Tad. Rick: "And that's okay with you?" But before Jessie can answer her father, two little girls tap Jessie on the shoulder and say she was really good. Ah, thanks. Ah. So cute. Yawn.
Onstage. Grace is back in her Jackie O. costume rehearsing some scene with Tad, who looks like he'd just rather go home, grab a pop, and watch some television. He says his line. Grace doesn't like it, gives him some direction, and is then interrupted by Mr. Dimitri. Grace explains how she thought they should go over that particular part of the show. Then, under her breath, she says to her teacher, "The way he's doing the scene just wasn't working." Dimitri steps in, tells Tad to go change, and says, "I need to speak to Grace for a minute." Well, Grace just "had" to do "something." Blah, was he even watching tonight? blah. Mr. Dimitri: "I thought Tad did an excellent job." Grace: "How can you say that?" Because he was watching, he says. Grace: "Tad walks into the scenery. Tad enters scenes he's not even in and leaves scenes he is in. He barely knows his lines. So how can you say that?" Dimitri smiles. Ah, wise Buddha teacher, he knows all of this. Grace snits: "How can you say Tad is doing an excellent job and not say one word to me?" Dimitri snaps right back, "At least he's doing the best he can!" And she's not? Grace's face falls to her knees as Dimitri starts criticizing her performance: "You know all your lines, all your moves, you know exactly when to laugh and when to cry." He moves a lamp. I won't comment on the symbolism. Please don't make me. "You remain in complete and total control, and the audience is very impressed. But I don't believe one word you say." Grace is crushed, so she starts acting in self-defense along the lines of the stupid play makes no sense, blah. Shakespeare sucks, blah: "It's not believable." Why does Rosalind love Orlando? Dimitri explains that it's because he's got no friends, no future, and no hope, and he's on the verge of committing suicide. Apparently, this touches her heart. The teacher continues to berate his student: "But you know all of this. You're just pretending not to." Grace wants to know why she'd do that -- lay all of her emotions out on stage. Only she says it way more snottily than I can write it. Dimitri: "Because you're afraid. You're afraid you might feel something you haven't planned." Man, this is harsh. I remember being in my grade nine dance class, or maybe it was grade ten. I went to a school for the arts, and thought I was pretty cool, until my teacher told me I was too fat to ever be a dancer. And when I thought I might switch majors over to Drama because I thought I'd be happier there, the Drama teacher told me it wasn't the place for disheartened dancers. Talk about preparing you for a life of abject disappointment. Damn. I know how you feel, Grace. It's way too much criticism for your delicate teenage heart to take. Right, she's still talking: "If that's what you're waiting for -- for me to just come out onstage and bare my soul -- forget it, I'm not doing it." Dimitri sighs, and then switches his gum from one side of his mouth to the other. "I know you're not. But a real actress would." Okay, dude, she's in high school. Cut her some slack.
Grace's bedroom. She's tossing a soccer ball up into the air when Lily knocks on the door. She's got clean laundry and asks, "How did the second night go?" Grace grabs a magazine, and acts nonchalant. Lily can't get over Grace's performance, especially the part about Grace knowing exactly what to do every single minute. Grace's face falls for about the hundredth time this episode as she protests, "Not every minute." Lily sits down on the bed and says, "Jessie told me you got a rave review in the school newspaper." Still acting, Grace responds by telling her mother that she doesn't read reviews. Huh. She just doesn't see the point. Lily: "You know, you're a really interesting person." Grace throws the magazine aside and scoffs, "Hardly." Lily wants to know what's wrong, and when she's rebuffed, tells her daughter to get some sleep, says she loves her, and says goodnight.
Only it's not a good night, because minutes later Grace is knocking on Eli's Den of Sin. After he opens the door, she explains that she can't sleep, and he invites her right in. Take a deep breath, and we'll continue this after commercials.
Den of Sin. Grace is wearing her pyjamas. Eli apologizes for not coming to the play. Grace replies that it's okay. Eli says, "So, tomorrow's the last night, eh?" Yeah, "thank God!" Then Grace reaches over and picks up BIW's missing barrette. But when she asks to whom it belongs, Eli lies and says its Jessie's. He shuffles around, tidies up some of his clothes, and tells Grace he'll definitely be at the play tomorrow night. He wants to know why she can't sleep. Grace: "You know how if someone says something really upsetting to you, how it just lodges in your mind, and you keep hearing it over and over and over again until you just want to kill yourself?" Um, yeah, he does. Ah, they're kindred spirits tonight. Grace wants to know what would make it stop, if anything. Eli doesn't quite understand. Grace totally changes the subject: "How come you never ask me to get high with you?" Out of left field. Eli: "Are you serious?" Totally. Absolutely. Of course she is. But she's always acting like she disapproves. That and, according to Eli, she doesn't seem the type. "Why? How do I seem?" Eli thinks that Grace wouldn't want to lose that much control. Grace wells up: "That's so unfair." Eli tries to take it back but Grace's semi-tears have already started: "It's not true and it isn't fair." Eli stumbles; Grace whines. Blah, that's not how she really is, blah. Grace steps forward and tells her stepbrother that she had an excruciatingly bad day. She wants him to help her out.
Lily and Rick are getting ready for bed. They are brushing their teeth. Ah, family life. Lots of mumbled conversations while white foam comes fizzling out of their mouths. Must be a bitch for the continuity people. The discussion is centered on Eli and why he was sent home from work early. Lily wants Rick to give Eli the benefit of the doubt. Then, she tells him he sounds like Karen. And then she says, "I think once -- just once -- you should consider the fact that your son might be innocent."
Cue the cough cough splutter splutter of Grace as she tries to smoke dope for the first time. Eli has a huge roach clip. They are listening to some "mood music," as he lies back on a couch; Grace has her back up against it while she sits on the floor. Eli asks if Grace wants some water. Grace declines. Eli asks if she's sure, because she keeps "moistening her lips." Which Grace thinks is really funny because she's high. Blah, it's a weird word, blah. Cue boring pseudo-drug conversation. Grace smacks her lips together a couple of times, and says "moisten" just to see how it feels. Eli wants to know who's bringing her down, man. Grace changes the subject. She wants to know if he's really coming to the play. Yes! He's coming to the play. Grace doesn't believe him. He lies back and looks so very cool. Heh. "Because, look, you were supposed to come tonight, and you didn't, so I just want to know ahead of time so I can be prepared for what happens." Grace's own speech even bums her out. She looks at her fingers for a minute and then contemplates joining the cast of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Eli says he'll be there, for sure, dude. Oh -- then Grace starts to freak out a little bit, and complains that the dope is just making her worries worse; Eli tells her to lie down and relax. Grace: "I can hear my heart beating! It's way too loud." Eli climbs on the bed after Grace lies down. He tells her, again, to relax. Then, she asks if he can hear her heart beating, too. It's actually kind of cute, this drug-paranoid Grace. Eli keeps telling her to breathe. Grace: "I can't do that play tomorrow night." Ah, sure she can. No, she can't. Then, Eli tells her just to quit. Only Grace can't quit -- people are depending on her; it's like a job. To top it all off, Lily volunteered their house for the cast party. Hell, you can't just let people down like that. Only, you can, and I'm sure Eli has, and whoa, the pressure's really getting to him now. Their faces are really close to one another. Eli wishes he were more like Grace. Grace thinks that's silly, because she's making a total fool of herself. Ah, poor Grace. "See. I actually thought I was good. And I'm not." Eli looks at her tenderly and says, "Then do it one more time. Just for me." He tells her to forget about everyone else, and do it just for him; she smiles because she can do that. She falls back on his bed and tells him she's never smoking pot again; he brushes back her hair, and she falls asleep. Ah, Grace, you are a complex person, and it makes for really good television.
Morning, sunshine. Birds are singing outside. Light comes into the room that I thought had no windows. Huh. Eli wakes up Grace. She's a little confused. He slept on the floor. It's ten to seven, and Grace should probably get back into the house before "certain people" wake up. She asks him again if he's coming to the play tonight, and then she jauntily makes her way back to the main house.
Just in time, too, because Lily comes into the kitchen, makes a typical mom crack about her teenage daughter being up early, and then heads off to answer the doorbell. That's ringing. At seven in the morning. On a Saturday. Lily opens the door, and Katie is standing there with a large garment bag in her arms. "Hello?" Lily looks at Katie. She asks if Jessie is home. Okay, did anyone of your friends call on you at seven on a Saturday morning? For any reason other than maybe driving to summer camp? Who gets up that early? I mean, really. Lily calls to Jessie and then lets Katie into the house.
Upstairs in Jessie's attic abode, the two girls are fiddling with her ill-fitting costume again. Katie thinks the skirt really needs a belt, so she takes the one off of her waist and puts it on Jessie. They talk about how stressed Sarah has been lately. Blah, ulcer, blah. Then Katie wants to know why Jessie never talks about being anorexic. Jessie is taken aback for a minute, and then she tells Katie that she does talk about it with her therapist. She sits down on the bed and admits that talking to him actually helps. Katie waxes philosophical for minute; she wishes she had something wrong with her. Jessie: "Don't say that." Katie: "No. Really. Then it would show. There'd be this tangible proof of how weird I feel." Blah, teenage angst, blah. Yeah, but, man, it's hard having something wrong with you, Jessie thinks, because then everyone always knows how you feel and you can't hide anything. They bond. At seven o'clock. In the morning. Jessie looks at Katie and wishes she could wear something totally different in the play. Ah, Sarah is going to go mental; all of her attempts to trouble the pretty, talented and now friend-stealing Jessie are going to be foiled.
Den of Sin. Karen stands in the doorway, peering in at the place where her son sleeps, trying desperately to say something encouraging, only she can't find the words. She says, "It's nice." Eli explains he's been fixing it up, and then he throws a towel over his ashtray filled with roach clips and dope. Karen starts making excuses about why she dropped by, and picks up some of his clothes to hang them up on his rack. Eli seethes, and wishes his mother would stop meddling. He really wants to tell her the truth, but can't seem to get it out. Karen wants to make sure she's not bothering him. He says she can stop by whenever she wants. Then, he brings up the fact that Karen stopped by his workplace. And then he lies, and makes up some crap about how they changed the schedule, and says it all with such a deadpan attitude that you can tell Eli doesn't even believe what he's saying. Blah, night work, blah. He tells her he has to work tonight, and every night, all the nights from here until eternity. You know, eternity? When he's going to end up in hell for lying to his mother.
The Play. Judy is there with Lily. The two of them are fiddling with some sort of candy apple. Who has candy apples at plays? Your fingers would get all sticky and there's no way you'd be able to finish one of them during intermission. Lily notices Karen, who has now attended all three performances of the play, and tells Judy that it's okay if she goes over and says hello. Lily goes off to find the two of them seats. Oops. Eli, who was standing out of Karen's line of sight, didn't know that his mother was going to be at the play, so he books right on out of there, despite his promises, and despite the fact that it would be worlds easier just to admit you got fired and tried to find another job, and despite the fact that less than twenty-four hours ago you sat up and told Grace to do the play just that one more time for you, you spineless creep. Grace comes into the auditorium holding her jacket. She finds her mother and asks if she's holding the seat for Eli. When she finds out it is for Judy, she puts her coat down so that Eli has somewhere to sit. Ah, young love -- and you thought you'd have no inspiration for your role, Grace. Little do you know.
Backstage. Sarah -- whose character Audrey is fittingly described as "a country wench" in my Shakespeare textbook -- notices that Jessie is wearing street clothes. She snits, "You're supposed to put on your costume first and then your makeup." Jessie smiles and nods. Then, Sarah notices that Jessie's wearing Katie's skirt. Jessie stands up for herself, saying she wasn't comfortable in "that other thing." Katie's skirt is comfortable, so that's what she's going to wear. The cast applauds. I guess everyone noticed that Sarah was giving Jessie a hard time. Sarah pounces off, then turns and barks, "Can you come here for a second?" They step outside. Blah, Katie's just going to use you, too, blah when she gets sick of you, blah, don't think that you're special, blah. Poor Jessie just looks kind of stunned.
Stage right. Grace looks out to see whether Eli actually showed up. Of course, there's still an empty coat sitting there. Of course, she's totally crushed. Jessie comes up beside Grace and says, "Are you okay?" Grace asks if Jessie left a barrette in her brother's room. Jessie replies that she doesn't wear barrettes. Of course, this makes Grace even more upset. Of course, she doesn't show it. The stage manager pushes Grace onstage because she almost missed her cue.
Grace wanders out, lovestruck, with tears in her eyes. Dimitri paces at the back of the auditorium. And finally, he gets his performance, as poor Grace pours all of her feelings about Eli into her lines about Orlando. And you know what? She doesn't suck, not even one little bit. Oh, Dimitri is so pleased, and when Grace says, "There is no truth in him," you know she's talking about Eli and not Orlando. My heart breaks for her. It really does.
Manning Manor is the site for the cast party. There are balloons. There is cheer. There is blissful conversation. Jessie finds Dimitri wandering amidst his happy disciples, and says that they want to do something, say something, give something to him, calls upon Tad to do the honours, and then gets stuck with it herself. Blah, great teacher, blah great experience, blah speech, blah rehearsals, blah kudos, blah. Yawn. Then they give him a director's chair with "Mr. Dimitri" written on the back. They call for a speech. Blah, he's speechless, blah thanks, blah. Great play, blah. Fantastic, blah. Proud of yourself, blah. More clapping and more partying. Rick wants to take a picture of the entire cast. Only Katie shows up, which causes Jessie to run upstairs to take off her costume.
Jessie's room. Katie follows her up the stairs, and by that time, Jessie had already changed. She throws the dress at Katie. And then she says, "This isn't how I am." Katie wants to know what Jessie means. Jessie doesn't want to be in a contest with Sarah for her friendship. And Katie says, "I choose you." She wants to be Jessie's friend and not Sarah's. Jessie doesn't want anyone to choose anyone. But Katie can't help herself; she's drawn to Jessie, she says, and holds out her hand. They touch; Jessie smiles, and says, "Listen to that rain." Huh? I'm just going to go with it.
Back in the kitchen, Dimitri pours himself some wine that looks suspiciously like water. Grace comes in from the back door. She's soaking wet, having been caught in the rain. Dimitri asks if she can keep a secret. He's helped himself to some of her parents' wine. Then, he steps forward and tells her she was incredible. Blah, she's an incredible person, blah he's a fraud, blah strange sexual chemistry, blah she's the real deal. He concludes, "And maybe I've been harsh on you, but that's because the world is harsh, Grace, and I want you to be ready for it." She looks away, and then back again, saying, "What do you mean? You're not a fraud." He smiles. Ah, he was impressed at her performance because she let everything inside her show. He's never been able to do that. He wants to know what made tonight so special. Grace says, "You. You made it different. What you said." Ah, more bonding, blah. Grace: "It doesn't have to be a secret. I don't think they'd mind. About the wine." Then she steps forward because she wants to taste his wine. From his cup. The teacher. The really hot, kind of freaky, hippie-like teacher. Grace, what's become of you? Dope one night, and wine the ? We might think you're becoming a normal teenager. Of course, before she can have a sip, Lily comes in to congratulate Mr. Dimitri on his success. Blah, wonderful job, blah. Then she feels her daughter's forehead because, well, she looks flushed, and wouldn't you be if you were about to drink some of your teacher's wine after he just told you how incredible he thought you were?
Eli comes in the back door and drapes his arm around Grace. Lily chastises him for not showing up while she takes a gargantuan cake out of the fridge. Grace throws Eli's hand off her shoulder and lunges forward to get the forks Lily forgot. Eli looks at Grace, and quietly asks, "Grace? Do you need any help?" Ah, he's so sorry he's such a schmuck. Grace turns back to look at Eli, says she can handle it, and leaves him alone with Dimitri. Eli apologizes for missing the play, asks if he's Mr. Dimitri, and introduces himself as Grace's stepbrother. They talk about mutual mentioning. Dimitri asks if Eli is a musician, but before Eli can stutter out an answer, the teacher floats on his own ego back into the other room. Eli, alone again and feeling really sorry for himself, says, "No. I'm not really anything." Hold back the tears, girls. I know. Just hold them back. Grab a tissue. It's going to be okay. The party continues. The cake is cut, and all the performances are over.